Progress, Growth, Expansion

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0:53So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed.

1:06This is the Ed Myerich Show. I'm fired up about this week's show, everybody, because so many of you have been sending in questions asking me to talk about overcoming failure, which we've covered a little bit on the show, but this idea of being perfect. And so here's what I want to title today's show, okay? Progress over perfection. I'm even going to give you two other subtitles, and then I'll kind of elaborate on them. So if you're where you can write, write this down. Progress over perfection, growth over destination, and expansion over stagnation. So progress, growth, and expansion. Those are the three things we're going to talk about this week.

1:45You know, I have this saying that I used for years when I was coming up in business. It was sort of a tongue-in-cheek thing that I said, but anytime I would catch any flack from people about, oh, you're too focused on business or, you know, you just want to be, you know, the criticisms you get, you just want to be rich or, you know, when's enough enough? All the things that anybody trying to do something great with their life is constantly getting criticized with by people who aren't. And people who aren't are threatened by your progress. They're not threatened by your perfection. Listen to me.

2:14They're threatened by your progress. And then what they will do is criticize your lack of perfection and use it against you. And if you're focused on trying to be perfect, it hurts. Let me say all of that to you again because it's never been said to you this way before. It is your progress that is threatening the people around you that are criticizing you in private and in public. And so what they're going to criticize you with is not being perfect. They'll set an impossible standard up for you. So you're making progress in your business. Well, you're not a perfect mom anymore. You're making progress financially.

2:49Well, you're not getting everything knocked out in your faith that you're supposed to. Or you're so obsessed with getting in shape and training so hard, you're blah, blah, blah suffering. You're not perfect. And they'll point out your lack of perfection because you're making progress. So I had this saying when I was coming up in business all the time, pardon my progress. Sorry it bugs you. Pardon my progress because I'm going to make progress. The other thing is it got me focused on the right thing. You're not going to win every sales call. You're not going to win every meeting. You're not going to be rich in 35 seconds.

3:21You're going to have tremendous setbacks in your life. And if you're focused on getting things perfect and getting every sales call right or every meeting right or saying the right thing all the time and having everything in balance in your life and being completely perfect and you're a perfection person, you will make no progress. And so my ambitions, even very early in my career, were not particular destinations. They were growth. That's why I say growth over destination. If you become so destination obsessed that the lack of that place that you have to imaginarily get to causes you to not grow when the very thing that's going to cause you to get to that destination is growth.

3:58So progress over perfection. Assume this, know this. If you're a great leader, John Maxwell says this, you're probably not going to have two great days in a row, right? What you want to be focused on is getting better. That's why when you don't get a sales call right or something feels like a setback, if you're making progress from it, meaning you got something you've learned from it. So you go, I'm not going to make that mistake again. I'm not going to say that again. Well, I learned a big thing there. That's growth over a destination. That is progress over being perfect. Long ago, I gave up the notion that I was going to be perfect.

4:34In fact, I think people that are perfectionist, listen to me. I think you're an egomaniac. And you go, no, I don't have any self-confidence. That's why everything's got to be perfect. You really evaluate that. I think it's your ego telling you you got to be perfect. Once you surrender, you're going to screw up. And by the way, let me tell you something that's going to help you. Everybody's screwed up. Most everyone is just trying to figure things out. Most people that you see are just doing a better job of faking it that they got it all together than you are. People have been on my show, the most famous, successful people in the world in about every area sports acting entertainment business fitness mindset scholastics you name it parenting whatever it is they're all still trying to figure it out the best of the best in the world

5:23here's a stat for you I just saw on social media I think the best tennis player I've ever seen and by the way I think Pete Sampras was great he was a neighbor of mine for a while I think Djokovic is amazing, Nadal. But for me, when I want, I love Bjorn Borg. If you follow tennis, I love McEnroe, Jimmy Connors. I'm a huge tennis fan. But the most beautiful dominant player I've ever seen is Roger Federer. He's just the best for me. You could argue it's the other couple guys or whatever. But for me, it was Roger Federer. And I think if you ask them, they'd tell you it was Roger Federer. Here's a crazy stat.

5:52He just said it. He won like 80, I'll mess this up, 84 % of his matches. so he won a lot of his matches 84 but he only won 52 of the points did you hear that he won 84 of every match he ever played but only 52 of the points that means every other point he was losing every other point he was losing but unlike people who then would lose the match roger would get information out of that lost point oh this guy went in my backhand over here i gotta cheat a little bit to the backhand or i see how he's spinning the serve differently and he would get information and he would grow he would grow out of what most people thought was a lost point or failure and what it was really it looked like a loss but he was making progress so he didn't get the destination that he wanted which was to win the point but what he did is he grew from it so he could win the match the whole idea in life is to win the match but it's how you deal with the lost points and not having to be perfect.

6:51Imagine if Roger Federer got frustrated on every point he lost, it would be every other point. Then he would have won none of the matches, which is why most people lose the match of life because they can't deal with the lost points. They can't deal with the criticism, the feedback, the negatives, the idiots, the small people with small minds who project their small lives and small thinking onto you. That's one huge thing to deal with. Now you know why they're doing it. It's your progress, and they're going to nail you with not being perfect. So when you see it coming, now you know what it is. Then there's the other type of person.

7:26They can't deal with the missed sales call, the financial setback, the person who quits, the person who screws them and take advantage of them. If you're going to win, just get ready. All of that's probably going to happen to you. But the greatest player of all time in tennis can tell you right now he won most of his matches but lost every other point. Is that crazy? because his losses, he got something for the loss, right? He got something for the loss. He got information, a lesson, a move, something from it, knowledge of how the other person moved, his competitor, what he would do differently next time.

8:03Maybe he learned what not to do. Oh, man, don't hit that second serve to the right side because this dude just has a return that smokes it, so I've got to hit it to the other line, whatever it is, or I've got to get to the net faster. I've got to take behind the baseline further. He's deducing information. When other people think it's a loss, he's making progress. He's expanding rather than being stagnant. Let me say it to you again. Progress over perfection, growth over the destination, expansion over stagnation. You got to keep moving. I can't teach you to drive a parked car. Keep moving. Keep making progress.

8:36Keep adjusting. It's these small adjustments. By the way, for most of you, it's not massive changes you need to make. It's small, fine-tuning things that are the separator. The difference between winning and losing in life and business is so small, it's almost too scary to talk about. But we got to talk about it. I have this saying I say often, I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. So if you're going to get around me, if I was 33, when I was 33, I was this way. When I was 23, I'm now 53. I'm addicted to expanding. What can I learn? How can I grow? How can I be a better man? How can I have better thoughts?

9:12How can I help more people? How can I have more fun? How can I have more bliss? How can I have more joy? How can I bring that to other people? How can I have a deeper understanding of my faith and where I'm going when this is over and the meaning of my life? I'm addicted to the expansion of my being and I hate being stagnant. See, I think a healthy person is like a running river of life. The water just keeps running. It's not perfect. It evaporates some of it. It hits the rocks. It bounces the wrong way. You can't control most of a running river, right? Or a waterfall or a rapids, right? You can't control all of that stuff, right?

9:51But I want that in my life. What I don't want to have is stagnation. What happens in stagnant water? It starts to get mold and fungus in it. The mosquitoes start to gather. It starts to stink. It turns the terrible brown, you know that ugly murky color of water where the dirt starts coming up to the top nothing worse than stagnant water it's one of the most unhealthy places in the world but running water the river the flow the waterfall all of that stuff well that's that's some of the most beautiful things in the world there's a beauty to the movement to the expansion and by the way to not knowing where it's all going not having a sense of total control over all of it once you give up this idea that i've got to have total control everything.

10:36I've got to be perfect. I'm not going to start until I know everything, right? I don't want to make mistakes. Can you imagine if Roger Federer said he didn't want to make mistakes? Can you imagine if I said I didn't want to make mistakes? Michael Jordan missed 70 % of the three-point shots he took in his career. 70 % roughly, give or take 5%. Think about that. Every three-pointer the guy took, he missed seven of them. and he quit shooting, right? Or was so worried about what people would say when he missed. But what he was interested in was making progress throughout the game, learning from the miss, right?

11:11If you're learning, you're not losing. And it's something that so many of you have to get over in your life. I think the most important thing you say is progress, growth, and expansion. Progress, growth, and expansion. PGE. And if I'm doing those things, I'm cool. And I could tell you where I am today in my life, whether, you know, I'd love to be further along in different areas, clearly. But it's because I've been obsessed with progress, not perfection. I've been obsessed with growth. How can I learn? What can I read? Who can I get around? Who's got the directions? In this case, what podcast should you be listening to?

11:44I think it's this one, right? How do I expand? What do I learn from this setback? How do I reframe and reshape this experience so that it serves me?

11:58you know, there's been huge failures in my life. And I'd like to tell you, I wish I wouldn't take any of them back. I'm sure there's a couple of business. I wish I would have done differently, but you know what? I learned the lesson. I'm not going to do it again. I didn't go into this thinking it was going to be perfect. I'm under no illusion that life is easy. I actually believe usually if life is going really, really easy, you're probably not making progress. You're probably not growing. You're probably not expanding. And it's sort of like that water that stagnates. It feels pretty good for a while because you know where it is and it's calm, right?

12:39And it's not a lot of loss. They're not running over the rivers of rocks of life, but then slowly, but surely those people that you think have those lives that are so cool because nothing's happening, that life starts to collect stuff it doesn't want, starts to stink, starts to not look so good. And I think the lives that are lived the best are willing to not be in total control of everything all the time. They're willing to live as a learner. They're willing to make mistakes. They don't take themselves too seriously. I really believe that perfection thing is an ego thing. You're obsessed with what people think about you.

13:18And it's your obsession with what other people think about you that will ultimately cost you your dream. It's this obsession with what people are going to think. It'll cost you your dreams. It'll cost you your destiny. Whereas if you could just get to the point where you make mistakes, learn from them, and actually, and sometimes laugh at them. I've done so many stupid things and said so many stupid things in my life that it's actually kind of laughable sometimes. but I've said a lot of good things and I've had a lot of wins too and I've helped a lot of people I'm willing to give myself a little bit of grace because I'm human I don't take myself that seriously this is really we're all playing with house money here if you're listening to this more than likely you live in a part of the world where you can make an impact on your own destiny If you're listening to this, more than likely, most of you could get access to medical care if you needed it.

14:19More than likely, most of you had a meal today. Not everybody. And if you're not one of those people that has those things, I hope in any way, shape, or form, my work will help you get to that baseline level. Because I have met a lot of you that have come to events and said, I'm living in my car right now. I'm sacrificing everything. and I understand that. I learned recently when I was a little boy that we were on welfare. I didn't even know that as a little boy. And so I pray for you that that situation changes and I can tell you how it's going to change. Progress, not perfection. You growing and learning and getting better, not just some destination and you focused on expansion.

15:00I can promise you that and not being stagnant. That's how it'll change. You know, the thing on this destination thing is too, because I've hit a lot of the destinations that I have. I'll just tell you what happens when you get there. A healthy person has already thrown out the next one. And sometimes I've seen people get to their destination and it's not all it's cracked up to be. And they're some of the saddest people in the world. I mean it. People have told me, man, once I make a million dollars, then blah, blah, blah. And I've seen them get there. And then when they get there, if they don't have another destination because they weren't into growth, I could tell you that the arrival is not what they would think it is.

15:40And when they get there, they're actually disappointed. And I've watched a lot of people get to that income or that destination or that house or that whatever. And then they get stagnant. And everything they thought it was going to be, it wasn't. Now, here's what is even better than you think. Getting to that destination and then still growing and not being stagnant. And maybe it moves where your growth isn't financial anymore, but it's spiritual or physical. Maybe you got there and you sacrificed a little bit of your health to get there. And so now you've got that financial goal. Now you've got this thing that you're obsessed with doing in your body or in your faith.

16:16But if you get stagnant when you get to a destination, it's a very sad thing because you did all the work. You're like, this is what it was. This wasn't worth it. And so what is worth it, more than you can imagine, is making your dreams come true, but being in a constant flow state of dreams. It doesn't always have to be more money or more stuff. In fact, it can never be money or stuff. It could be how much you're going to give. It could be your faith. It could be all kinds of different things. But something that will disappoint you tremendously is getting to a destination and then having nowhere to go from there.

16:49Because guess what? You have to bring you with you. I remember my first big dream was to have a nice home that I could pay off. I remember my dad telling me, hey, Eddie, that's great. But just remember this. When you get to that mansion, you got to bring you with you. And if the, the you, you bring with you when you get there, this is me talking now, if the you, you bring with you, when you get there, isn't someone who's expanding, isn't someone who's making progress, isn't someone who's still growing in some area, you'll be miserable with that person. I believe a life of misery is one that's got no progress, no growth, and no expansion, no matter what the destination is.

17:24Okay. So you've got to have some area in your life that's making progress, growing and expanding in order to stay happy. Again, it doesn't have to be money. In fact, for most of you, it won't be money. It'll be in your faith, in your spirituality, in your physicality, in your growing, in your contribution. It'll be in those areas. But I can tell you this, making your dreams come true with no growth, with no progress, with no expansion is very underwhelming. Here's the good news. If you make your destinations in your life, but you have somewhere to make progress from there in an area, growth in an area, expansion area, it's a million times better than you think it is.

18:04I can tell you that. The cool thing about making your dreams come true isn't even the reason you want your dream. The truth of the matter is it'll be all the dreams you make come true that you don't even know you're going to make come true from people that you love. Some of them may not even be born yet. I didn't know that I'd make the dreams come true of certain family members of mine. My first dream was about me. It was about me. I was young. And when I got there, that was cool. But the things I've been able to do for friends and family that I never dreamed of, that they never dreamed of when I did it.

18:33Heck, most of them didn't think I was going to be able to do it in the first place. But being able to do those things for the people you love and care about, some of them haven't even been born yet. Some of the people's dreams you will make come true have not even been born yet. And someday, 20, 30 years from now, after you've made all these big dreams come true and you keep expanding and making progress and growing, you'll make the dreams come true of people that haven't even been born right now. That's when you go, God is awesome. There's a harvest that I'm reaping when I'm planted all those seeds back in the day.

19:02And I can just tell you that you plant enough seeds, there's a harvest, but the harvest will trip you out. The harvest is not what you think it's going to be. That harvest usually blesses other people in ways you can't even imagine. The key thing is that while you're harvesting, you're still planting some type of seeds in some area of your life so that there's abundant harvest still coming. But those of you that have the blessings of the things, you're playing with house money. You're playing with house money. This is all a great, beautiful game that you can win if you just don't take it all too seriously, right?

19:35What matters most in your life is inside how you feel. If you're a person of faith, living by whatever that means for you and going to the place you want to go someday, that's what matters the most, and that's what is progress. I can promise you no matter what your faith is, you guys know that I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith is, I can promise you it's not predicated on you being perfect. I can promise you that's an overriding message, as a matter of fact, in your faith, is that you don't have to be perfect and you won't be. I can tell you that the idea is to grow in your life and to expand, but someday you could be at that destination.

20:12And it's certainly not to be stagnant. It's to expand and to give and to contribute and to help. And when you're feeling the most helpless, get the most helpful. I can promise you that if you get the most helpful, there's a huge, huge upside for you in your life. And so today, reevaluate all of these things and give yourself credit and make sure people know, pardon my progress. I'm just getting better. I'm just growing. I'm just expanding. I'm just learning. And you know what? you're not going to stop me. No setback. No, no, nothing's going to stop me from getting back up and growing again and learning again and expanding again.

20:53Nothing's going to stop me from doing that. And if you can stay in motion that way, like that running river and you never completely get stagnant, not for long periods of time, eventually you're going to like where that river flows. You're going to like where it ends up. I know that it ends up in a beautiful place because the beauty isn't even where it lands because it's always going to keep moving. The beauty is in the ride. The beauty is that ride down the river. It's just awesome. And I can tell you that I've just become addicted to that ride. And if you'll go on that journey, if you'll have those thoughts, if that starts to dominate your mindset in this matter so deeply, all of a sudden the criticisms kind of fade away.

21:33Are they really doing that much themselves? Really? You never thought you were going to be perfect anyway. And I can promise you this. When you do have that big success someday, the noise that thunder makes when you win drowns out these critics, these goofy mistakes you made, these setbacks. The truth is that when I think about it, I can remember all of my setbacks. I can. Really painful times, like the time I tried to pull$20 out of an ATM and it wouldn't give me the money out because I didn't have$20 in there. Time I had to beg for gas. The time my electricity has been turned off multiple times.

22:07Cars repossessed. I had the water turned off. I've had all kinds of setbacks. I've lost houses. You know, had my cell phone turned off all early in my life. But I can tell you, once you win, you don't spend a lot of time thinking about that. Now, if someone asks me or I'm doing a podcast, I can go back there. But once you win, that kind of gets erased. Your day-to-day mindset's about your day-to-day life then and the things you're doing then. So what I guess I'm saying is this too will pass one way or the other. I just want you to have a victory for all the pain you're going through. You should be getting something for your pain.

22:43You should be getting something for these difficulties. You should be getting something for these critics. Let them underestimate you. They underestimate you at their own peril. And someday they'll tell you, oh, I knew you were going to do it. I just believed in you from the beginning. And you'll know better. And you can just give them grace and smile back at them. Tell them, hey, here's the keys to the lake house. Go enjoy it if you choose to. Anyway, you'll give to their favorite charity. That's what you'll do because you're a good person. All right, everybody. Progress over perfection. Growth over destination.

23:19Expansion over stagnation. God bless you. Max out. This is the Ed Mylon Show.