Stop Delaying Your Dreams: Time to Take Action!

23:08The things that move the needle. They don't just do the routine every day. They do something in their life as a parent, as an entrepreneur, as a leader that moves the needle, stuff that can make quantum leaps, the hard stuff, the difficult stuff. I teach in my scheduling that I don't do first things first every day. I do feared things first, feared things first. Get the thing you're most afraid of out of the way. You know how you do something consistently? You build the habit of doing the feared things first in your day. If early in your day, if you've got a call you don't want to make, do that call first.

23:43If you've got a meeting you don't want, schedule it first. I try to schedule all my difficult meetings on Mondays early in the day too because I want to create momentum. If I can do that one, I don't want to do. If I can make that call, I don't want to make. The rest of my day is like downhill. It's like momentum going down the hill as opposed to if you've got that hard meeting or that one call or that contact you need to make and you just haven't made it all day and you make the other ones, you know you're climbing uphill all day until you've got to do that one. But if you just knock the feared things first off, then it's like cruising downhill all day.

24:16It's much easier when you create momentum. These are the things. It's the pace. It's the rhythm. It's the consistency. It's the availability. It's the game of inches that separate people. It's doing the things every day that the average do some days. It's doing it on the days you don't feel like it compared to those who just do it when they're pumped up and excited and they've heard the right podcast or they got the right Instagram message today. These are the separators. And what it comes down to, truthfully, is this belief system. And here's what I've always said, and I mean this, I think you've got to evaluate this, truly.

24:53If you believe you're far away from something, you will pace yourself that way. I've always heard people say, well, business is a marathon. Life's a marathon. life is really long life can be short if it's miserable i can tell you that life can be short if it's not going very well and although it's a marathon the great ones sprint the whole race that's not that they don't rest i don't know you know what i mean what i'm saying is there's a pace if you think something's far away you act like it see most people don't lack vision they have a vision if you asked them hey do you want to be rich or poor the average person would probably say rich.

25:32Do you want to make a big difference in the world or make none? I'd like to make a difference. You want to contribute or not contribute? I want to contribute. Do you want to laugh or cry more? I want to laugh more. I want to be happy or sad. I want to be happy. You want to go see things and create memories in your life or basically do the same thing over and over again? Most people say, I want memories in my life. So it's not that you don't have a vision. it's that you have a depth perception problem. You have a pacing problem. See, you think your dreams, those feelings, those memories, that change, that body, that relationship, that amount of money is really far away.

26:10And because you believe it's that far away, you've created patterns, belief systems, thought processes in your life that perpetually keep it that far away. You are jogging in the marathon of life where the winners are running 15 to 20 % faster than you. They're up 15 minutes before you. They're making 15 to 20 % more contacts. They're doing every day what you do some days because they believe that they're one decision, one meeting, one new contact, one new relationship, one new thought. Maybe one podcast away from completely changing their life. I'm not suggesting to you that it's going to be easy and that it's going to happen like that.

26:54What I am suggesting to you is that if you think it's really far away and you pace yourself and you do things occasionally, it'll always stay that far away. It'll always be there. It'll always be a mystery. And here's the truth. You and I both know it. There's no mystery to what makes a great mom or a great dad. You know exactly what it is. There's no mystery of what makes a great athlete. you know exactly what that looks like. There's no mystery would make a great entrepreneur. There's no mystery that would make you happier. There's no mystery. The mystery is you. The mystery is, are you willing to do the things every day to be relentless, to be obsessed, to get out of balance?

27:36This notion of balance is a fallacy. If you're gonna do anything great in your life, some things are gonna be popping at a given time when others aren't. But what if this entire notion that your life is a finite kind of pie That if you take a big slice out of the business pie, your family's going to suffer If you really focus on your family, then you're going to suffer in your fitness What if the truth is that you're an expanding being That vibrates at a very high frequency And that when you magnify one area of your life, if you do it correctly It'll magnify and expand the others not take from it See all these questions about what it takes to win or am I going to be out of balance are from a completely flawed belief system Two beliefs one is that it's further away than it really is and two is that if i'm killing it in one area of my life Another area has to suffer What if that's one of the great lies of life?

28:31What if one of the great lies of life is that your dreams are for other people? That it's for people not like you that they're doing extraordinary things that you're incapable of doing, as opposed to the truth is they're just doing things every day that you only do occasionally. They have availability all the time. What if the truth is that the great lie is that it's far away and the truth is that it's one decision, one new thought, one meeting, one connection away? What if that's the great lie of life? What if the great lie of life is that this is for other people and not you? because I can tell you that that's a lie.

29:08The truth is, is that it's very close. And the truth is, is that it's these small decisions that alter our lives. I can tell you straight up, you're a lot closer than you think you are. And what if the third great lie is that, oh, if I'm really expanding one area of my life, another area has to suffer, that I'll become out of balance. I don't even know what balance means, but what I've found in my life, and here's the truth, that's a lie. It's a flawed belief system that's been mind virus throughout our culture and our society for years where we have these concepts of balance. Let me tell you what I found that when I am killing it in the gym and I'm a business athlete and I'm strong and I'm spending time in there training my body, that I'm a better businessman.

29:50That's what I found that my gym life, my fitness life expands my business life. You know what I've also found that when I'm killing it at work and I'm giving at everything I've got, then when I come home, I'm a better dad. I'm a better friend. I've got more insights, more energy to give to other people. When I'm suffering at work, I usually suffer at home. When I'm suffering in the gym, I'm suffering at work. So when one area expands, it magnifies the other areas of life. The reason that we believe it takes from one another and we feed that belief system is we've been programmed into our minds to believe it.

30:24I'm not saying that you not need to be careful that you don't need to be careful About your allocation of time and making sure everybody gets something but I can tell you straight up The fitter i've gotten and the harder i've worked out in the gym and the more time I put in there The better businessman that i've been the better businessman I've been where i'm making a difference in my work and i'm growing and expanding The more I bring to my family and friends the more value I have the more insights I have the more love I have, the bigger and better version of me I have to share with my family.

30:55You remember this. If you're doing a great job as a mother or a father, you're going to bring that love and that comfort and that security and that faith into your work life. And it's going to expand your work life, not take from it. And when you're crushing it at work, you're going to be a better mom and a better dad and a better friend because you're a better you and you're more proud of you and you respect you more. And because when you come from that place, you've got more to give other people. And when you're nailing it in your fitness and you're crushing it and you're fitter and stronger, those aren't hours you're taking from other places.

31:30Those are investments you're making in your strength and your vitality and your mental wellbeing so that you are better at work and that you are better in your family. One of those areas expands the others as long as you believe it does. Those are the three lies of life. And today I cleared it up for you. I told you the truth. And so although there are no secrets to winning, there are lies. There are flawed belief systems that take from winning. And what I have found is that if you do the things that I've described today, you put yourself in a position to win where the probability of you winning is increased.

32:06There's no guarantees in life. There's no promises. What we're trying to do is increase the probability and the possibility of our winning. And what starts to happen is you become an impossibility thinker into a possibility achiever. All your life, you've had this secret notion about you. Deep in your heart, you were known, you were born to do something great with your life. When you were a little boy or a little girl, you just knew it. Maybe even had a family member who made you feel that way. They saw the special in you, didn't they? I'm here to just remind you today. they were right. You were right.

32:47You were born to do something great with your life. And I mean, yes, you sister. Yes, you, my brother. And maybe no one's told you in a while. Maybe no one's reminded you in a while. But I want you to know God made you to do something great. He made you in his image and likeness with a big plan. And you're going to make a difference in people's lives and what seem to be small ways that end up being huge ways down the line in their life. And some of the things when you're doing, it's going to feel really big when you're doing it. But remember what I said earlier, when you're making history in your life, most of the time, it doesn't feel like it because you're in the midst of the work.

33:22You're in the midst of the fog. You're on that lonely road to success that I've described in other podcasts. If you've not heard those shows, listen to them. It seems lonely. It seems dark. It doesn't seem like you're getting there. But meanwhile, you're making deposits in the bank account of success every single day. The truth is the people that win, that become the goats, that are the great ones, they've just made more deposits in the success account than those that haven't. And they make those deposits because they do needle moving things. They get up a little bit earlier. They do it more consistently.

33:54They believe they're closer than they are. They know that when they're crushing it in one area, they're expanding in others. They know it's a game of inches. They know it's almost too scary to talk about. But the thing they really know is that they were born to do it, that they were born to do something great with their life. So I'm here to remind you, it's closer than you think. You're closer than you think. There are no secrets, but there are secrets. There are lies. There are flawed belief systems. And hopefully today we've rid you of a few of them. I really believe in you. And I don't believe in you because I've met you, because millions of you I haven't met.

34:31I believe in you because I believe in God. I believe that he doesn't make any mistakes. And even if you don't believe in God, that's okay. I got enough belief for both of us. And I know that you were born to do something awesome, that you're not here by mistake. I know there's a purpose to you in your life. And I know the more that you do these things I've described, that purpose will be revealed to you even if it's not clear to you now. Over time, it'll be revealed. Over time, those deposits you're making. Millions of other people in your life and maybe just a few of them Will be the benefactors of making the withdrawals because you did all of the work the people that you love will thank you someday For doing all of the work you've done Just right now.

35:13They can't see it right now. Maybe they don't even believe it for you But I believe it and I know you're going to do something great Hope today helped you hope every week when we come back on these solo episodes at you. I picked up another thing I'm more inspired. I learned something. This is something I'm going to shift. I know for me it was valuable today. I feel like I was talking to me. I feel like I was talking to me. We're all in this together. We're all brothers and sisters. None of us are better than anybody else. You know, the world is going to try to convince you that we're all separated, that we're all at each other's throats right now.

35:46We're all in this together. And although we may have different opinions and belief systems about different things, we're brothers and sisters nonetheless. less, and we were put here and born to make each other's lives better. And that includes you. You are uniquely qualified to change other people's lives. You're the only person on earth right now with your experiences, your personality, your background, your heart, your mind, all combined into one human being. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on apple and spotify links are in the show notes You'll never miss an episode that way today.

36:29What I want to talk about is qualifications for your dreams, you know Most times in life We do everything we can to disqualify ourselves from our dreams and our potential And I want you to think about this just for a minute I really believe and I want to make a bold statement in the beginning that you were born to do something great with your life And that you're not disqualified no matter what's happened in your life good bad or indifferent Or maybe it's just been average and ordinary the entire time. You are not disqualified from making your dreams, your purpose, your vision a reality in your life.

36:59But what we do often, and I've done it many times, is I think my past disqualifies me or some mistake I've made. So we hold ourselves, it's almost like a weapon we use against ourselves, is we hold our past mistakes, our past failures, our past setback, our past average performance and behavior as if it's a predictor of what our future is. We think we're disqualified. So I'm here to tell you that the things that maybe that are the biggest setbacks of your life, the things you might be most ashamed of, the biggest disappointments, the biggest what you might call failures, where people have hurt you, or maybe you even hurt others, sins you've had, mistakes.

37:38You know, I've had a divorce, so I'm disqualified from winning. Not true. Or I've had this setback. No, you're not disqualified. Well, I've had a bankruptcy or I had a business failure or I've just always been invisible and average, so I'm disqualified from ever doing something great in my life and nothing could be further from the truth. It's the great lie of life. The great lie of our lives is we begin to stack things that didn't work out as evidence that we can't win in the future. as evidence it's not going to work. We actually also literally think it disqualifies us somehow from winning. And I'm here to tell you that is a great lie that millions of people around the world are telling themselves.

38:16And what if I was to tell you that I think those same divorces, setbacks, failures, sins, mistakes, the average performance of your past are the very things that do qualify you to change other people's lives and fulfill your destiny. That's what I actually believe. See, in life, if you really want to impress people, show them how perfect you are. Show them your best Instagram photo, your biggest achievement, the best things you've done in your life, how happy and smart and amazing you are. You really impress people and you'll connect with nobody and you will change nobody's life. But on the other hand, if your ambition is to change other people's lives, is to make a difference with your own life, to make an impact on people's lives, then show them your imperfections.

39:05If you show them your imperfections, you will connect with them. Let me give you the best example in the world. Someone said this on my show many times. I've said it before. You are most qualified to help the person or people you used to be. I'll say that to you again. You are most qualified in your life to help the person or people you used to be. Rory Vaden said that on my show. I've said that back since 1997, 1997 a version of that I just didn't know how true it was until recently So as you all know, I wrote the number one best-selling nonfiction book in the world this year called the power of one more If you haven't got that book, I would recommend you go get that book.

39:40I believe it'll change your life But after I wrote that book and it became a bestseller I woke up one night and the book is really about the lessons I learned from my dad as many of you know But some may not my dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict For the first 35 or first 15 years of my life And then he got sober when I was 15 and he made one decision to do that and stayed sober one day at a time for the rest of his life And i'm in the personal development the change your life space because I believe human beings can change In fact, I don't believe it. I know it and the reason that I know it Is because my own hero did it I watched my dad live a particular way that wasn't great the first 15 years of my life And then the next 35 years of my life I watched him live as a completely different man a magnificent life a giving life a kind life a beautiful life a heavenly life So I know humans can change because I watched my hero do it But what's most amazing about my dad's sobriety is I woke up one night many months ago Crying in my sleep and I woke up and I said to my wife.

40:47She goes what's wrong and I said I said well You're not going to believe this, but I just realized something Someone helped daddy. Someone helped my dad. She goes, what are you talking about? And I said, well, when dad got sober, someone helped my dad change his life. Some precious human being stepped forward and said, I can help you. See, we're born in our life to do great things in our life, big and small, but we don't know when we're doing them, whether they're big or small. We don't know the ripple effects. And I said, someone helped my father in the worst moment of his life. My dad was either going to take his own life or lose his family.

41:21And in that terrible moment. I don't even know where it was. Was it a bar somewhere, an alley? I don't know who they are or where it happened. But what I know is some human being changed my dad's life, which then changed my life. And I've changed millions of people's lives. This precious human being has no idea that that one act, that one generosity, that one helping one person is impacted millions of people because they helped my father in that alley or that bar somewhere. is that not remarkable? That one act, the ripple effect has affected millions of people's lives. And that's not the most remarkable part of it, even though that's crazy to think that as a human, you have that power.

42:02You have one person, the ripple effects are unknown. That's not the most amazing part. The most amazing part is what was it that qualified that precious human to help my father? What were their qualifications?

42:20the very things that most people would think disqualified them, the things that that person was most ashamed of, their biggest failures, their biggest sins. You know what qualified that person to help my dad? They were also an alcoholic at one time. They were also a drug addict at one time. They also lied and cheated and stole money and lived in the shadows. The things that person would think, my gosh, my alcoholism, my drug addiction, my lying, my theft, my shadowy life, all those things, the worst things about me. I'm totally disqualified from having a great life, from living a dream, from helping other people.

42:52If anyone's disqualified, it's me. Wrong. Actually, those were the very things God was using, the universe was using to qualify that person to meet the moment, to help my dad when he was going to take his life or lose his family. I want you to understand and think about the power of that. The very thing that human being probably walked around most of their life thinking, now that's the weapon I use against me, why I can't win, why I can't be happy, why I can't help people, why I can't change. Other people could win, just not someone like me, not someone where I come from, not with my family, not with my background, not with my mistakes, not with the fact that I've always been average and ordinary, not the fact that I'm invisible.

43:30No, no, no, no. Sorry. Guess what? Those very things that you use as a weapon against you that you think disqualify you are the very things that do qualify you. That person didn't know all those years they were using drugs and suffering, all those years they were drinking alcohol and making mistakes and hurting other people and probably lying and probably stealing and probably living in the shadows. Every single one of those things was preparing them for that moment to help somebody who was the person they used to be. My dad, You are most qualified to help the person you used to be in your life I'm a living proof of it By the way, so are you as you're listening to this or you're watching this you are part of the ripple effect of that one act that human being who helped my dad Who helped me who's now helping you?

44:27What I hope you do today is by the way you share this episode with somebody so that ripple continues I want the world to understand one thing. You are not disqualified from making your dreams come true. I don't care. Some people think, well, that's what I look like. It's where I come from. It's the mistake I made. It's what I, it's none of that crap. Those are the very things that are qualifying you right now because you are most qualified to help the person you used to be. And by the way, that's why growing matters because every time you grow into a new version of you, you are most qualified to help the people who you used to be.

45:00And then you grow up. people. Why do you still grow and read and expand? Because I know every time I grow and change, I now can help that person I used to be, those people that I used to be. If you were once broke and now have figured out how to make money, you can help broke people. If you were once overweight and now are fit, you can help all those people. If you were once broke in and now are a little bit less broken, you can help broken people. If you were once invisible and average and ordinary and in despair, you can help people who feel average and ordinary and invisible and in despair.

45:32If you were once insecure and shy, and maybe you are right now and lack self-confidence or lack direction or lack purpose, and then now you find it and discover it, you can help all those people in the world who currently lack purpose, lack confidence, lack inspiration. We are most qualified in our life to help the person or people we used to be and never underestimate the ripple effect of you just saying, hey, I'm imperfect too, but this is what I've learned. And I'm here for you. And I love you. And I believe in you. I honestly believe that if this one message reached millions of people, we would have a different world.

46:09We'd be a little bit less judgmental. We'd give each other a little bit more grace. We'd have way more people pursuing their potential and their dreams. See, I have an addiction. I have a lot of them, but my main addiction is I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. I'm curious and fascinated by what my capacity can be to do different things in my life. And that constant pursuit of potential, that constant pursuit of growth, that lack of judging myself, that lack of assessment of negative thoughts about myself and giving myself grace of knowing, yeah, I just made a mistake, but guess what? I've learned from that mistake.

46:47I've grown from it. And now I'm qualified to help the people who may make those same mistakes. The reason I do the show is because I just have a lot of experience with failure. I have a lot of experience with setbacks and Frustrations, I know what it's like to live scared. I know what it's like to live with negative emotions. I know what it's like to live afraid To live angry to be depressed I Know what it's like to be broken I Know it's like to be broke I Know what it's like to not have electricity in my house. I know what it's like not have running water. I know what it's like to beg for money at a gas station so that I could get to my house.

47:28Now that I think about it, I know what it's like. And you know what? That's what qualifies me to help people. See, it takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams, not perfect people. None of us are perfect. I get emotional when I share this with you, not for me, but for you. I want you to make your life something awesome. I want you to change other people's lives. And I know most of the time you feel disqualified to do it. And I hope today, maybe you get a little bit of a glimpse of exactly how qualified you are. I think God's a really interesting dude. And I think he sits there and goes, if I could just get my children to understand, I'm preparing you every day to make a difference in the world.

48:20I'm preparing you every day to change your own life, to change other people's lives, and that you're immensely qualified, that the DNA of the King of Kings runs through your bloodstream. I just want to remind you today, as you're listening to this, that you're born to do something awesome with your life. and I'm here to help you every step of the way along the way. But you got to take the first step today. And that step today is just to believe that you're qualified. You're immensely qualified. You're immensely capable. You're awesome with all your mistakes, all your weaknesses, all your sins, all the things you're not so good at, all the things that you wish you were better at, that you see other people have.

49:01You wish you look this way or talk that way or thought that way or had that family, you're perfectly you. You're perfectly you in this moment. And the minute you accept that, you understand how qualified you are to change your own life and to change other people's lives. And I think one of the things you could do today that would qualify you is to share my message, is to share these thoughts with people so that people maybe today get a little bit of a glimpse into what's possible. Today's topic, let's get into it, are secrets. I've been ask, Ed, what's a secret that we don't hear anywhere else that can help me achieve my vision and my dreams for my life?

49:35Because there's all these checkmark things you'll hear on podcasts or social media that are wonderful tactics. But Ed, do you have something you could share with us that's almost like a secret of yours that no one else covers? And so I'm going to do that with you today. See, one of the things I'm a big believer in is that you must touch your dreams before you have them in order to make them a reality. You have to touch them. You have to become in proximity to them. You have to become familiar with them. See, in life, we will never exceed what we believe we're worth or we deserve. We'll never get more than we believe we deserve.

50:04We will also never acquire or be somewhere we don't believe we belong. And if you're like me, I was raised where when I would see affluent or rich people in their homes or their mansions or their nice cars or even a nice restaurant, heck, even a nice hotel, I don't know really why it was felt in my family that way, but I always had this sense, we don't belong there. We don't belong there. And then even when I would see super happy families, because many of you know that I grew up with an alcoholic father who eventually got sober, but I remember as a little boy, sometimes wishing I was in another family because they seemed happy and joyous.

50:40And I knew the strife and anxiety and tension that was going on in my home. And I remember thinking even as a little boy, I really don't belong in those happy houses. And I certainly don't belong in those rich hotels or mansions. You'll never end up anywhere you don't believe you belong. And so what I had to do, and I think you're going to need to do, and I think this will be special for you today, is you have to begin to condition your brain and condition your spirit into believing you belong in these places. So I want you to write this down. Touch your dreams. It's so important that you touch your dreams because what that does in your life, think about it this way.

51:14Think of someone who's a professional athlete right now. Pick anybody that you admire, LeBron James or Aaron Judge in baseball or a great golfer like Brooks Koepka, whoever it might be, pick the sport. One of the things they had the benefit of is playing that sport as a young boy or Serena Williams in tennis, right? Or as a young girl. And what happens is they become familiar in those environments. And so as they go through the ranks and climb and acquire more and more talents and skills, they believe they belong there because they've been on a tennis court a thousand times. They've been on a golf course a thousand times.

51:47They've been on a baseball diamond a thousand times or a basketball court. So they didn't have to worry about whether they belonged or whether they touched the dream. They touched every day as they caught a ball, hit it, threw it, dunked it, right? Hit a driver. So they actually, over time, spent time in their dream. And as they acquired more talents and skills, it naturally perpetuated them. But most of us, the career we're in or the mansion we want to get to or the home we want or the relationship we want or the emotions we want to feel. we haven't had the benefit of spending time in those environments.

52:20And because we haven't had any time in those environments, even if we acquire the skills and the talents and the opportunities to get there, if we don't believe we belong there, or we're not familiar with it, we don't end up there. And so what I had to do, and I started doing it pretty young, is I had to begin to condition myself to believe I belong there by touching my dreams. And so I'm going to talk to you about a couple of different strategies on this that I think are a very, very big deal. See, your mind moves towards, gravitates towards what it's most familiar with. So if it's most familiar with your current environment all the time, it's going to continue to gravitate and attract that environment because you're vibrating at that frequency.

52:59It's your most dominant thought. It's your most common circumstance. And so if you don't do anything to shake that up, to shake the visual picture of your life, what you're touching, feeling, smelling, you end up just sort of acquiring skills and you never move out of that environment and get to the dream. So I knew I had to start touching my dreams. And what I did is I would do those. I had to create strategies and I recommend you do. Some of them cost money and some of them are completely free. So I know some of your listeners are going to listen. I have no money. You don't understand my situation.

53:30I'm in debt. I can't do a few of the things you're going to recommend. Don't worry. I'm going to get to some things for you in a minute as well. And then those of you on a limited budget like me, I'm going to talk about spending just a little bit. Okay. Just a little bit. Nothing I'm going to talk about is mega expensive. Okay. So what I did was I was coming up in business. I was used to, I guess what you would probably call a lower middle class lifestyle. And I would see, like I said, these mansions and hotels and cars and happiness even, and think I didn't belong there. And I became very uncomfortable even thinking about those environments.

54:02So I had to start putting myself in those environments on very short term basis. So what I would do is I was in the sales business. I would create incentives with myself. Stay with me. This is very important in your life. I would create incentives with myself where I would say, hey, okay, Ed, if you make 10 sales this month, whatever it was, 10 sales, or you make$5 ,000, or you make$10 ,000, or you do X or Y, if you do this at the end of the month, you're going to take a one day break and you're going to go touch your dream. So for example, I lived in Southern California. there was a Ritz Carlton hotel in Laguna beach, Dana point, California.

54:38And I used to set these contests up. I couldn't afford to live at the Ritz Carlton or where those people go. But what I would do is I said, okay, I'm making$7 ,000 a month. If this month I make 12 sales and I make an extra$2 ,000 back in that time, I'm going to take that extra$300. And I'm going to go spend one night on Saturday night at the Ritz Carlton hotel. I would leave my environment. My wife and I would get in our car. We would drive down to the Ritz Carlton. And I remember the first time I got there, not knowing how he even tipped the valet and not even wanting to park my car and bring my car to the front of the hotel because it was a Honda CRX.

55:14But I did. And I rolled up to the Ritz-Carlton in my Honda CRX. And the valet, I didn't know, do you tip them now? Do you tip them when you come back? So I just tipped them both. I gave him the tip. And I remember the first time I watched my wife get out of the car and I went to grab my bag. He said, no, Mr. Milet, we've got your bag. No one had ever done that for me before. It was very awkward for me. I was afraid they were going to take my bag. And then I remember we walked into the lobby and I saw this marble on the floor and the chandelier. And I'm like, my gosh, it was overwhelming. And then checking in, giving them my credit card and hoping I had enough of my credit card for the incidentals on top of the room.

55:49And the first time it was a little bit awkward. We stayed there and we were laying out at the pool with all these very wealthy people. And we had dinner that night, a decent bottle of wine. And during the daytime, I went and played golf. And I'll talk about that in a minute. My wife went and got a massage. And the whole thing cost me, I don't know, at that time, like seven, eight hundred dollars, which is a lot of money to me. But I touched my dream. And then I went back and it's just different. You drove back my ideas, my thinking, my vibrational frequency was just slightly different. And I remember thinking, I want to get back there.

56:18I can't live where they live. I can't wait to get back there. And then the next month I said, if I do X or Y, we'll go back for one night, just one night. We're going to taste it just a bite. I can't eat the whole steak. I can't afford that. I certainly can't have the whole meal. I certainly can't have the rest, but I can have a bite of my dream. And that's what I'm encouraging you to. I had a bite of my dream. And I'll give you other strategies in a minute that aren't anywhere near that expensive. But I had a bite and it tasted good. And the next month I said, if I do six or eight more of these sales, I'm going to go there and we're going to do it.

56:46And I didn't do it. And so I didn't go because I didn't want to train my brain that we just go. I had to earn it. I had to do something exceptional to get the reward. I did not want to do it. So there were many times I set up these contests myself. I didn't hit them. We didn't go. I would ask my wife, start shopping for deals, look for discounts, look for places to go that are expensive, but we can get on the cheap. But then I remember about four months later, I hit my number again and we went down there again. Same routine, except this time I kind of knew how to handle the valet. And when I walked in, it's a little bit different.

57:17Still a little bit awkward, a little uncomfortable, but now laying out at the pool, I kind of knew where the towels were. I knew what drink to get. My wife knew where the spa was. we didn't have to ask. I knew where the golf course was. And by the way, while I was playing golf, I had a mentor tell me, Ed, rich men play golf. And I remember thinking to myself, I don't even like golf. It's five, six hours. It's boring. I'm not any good. I'm a baseball player. I want some action. Ed, rich men play golf. And I figured out what that really meant. That was a chance for me to get on a golf course with three or four other guys who were already living like I wanted to live.

57:51And I get to spend four or five hours with these people. Even if I didn't know them, Like how'd they walk? How'd they talk? How'd they think? What are their problems? What kind of vocabulary do they use? So I would go play golf and she would go to the spa. And then we'd have that dinner. And at the dinner, we would dream about what our life would look like and where we were going to go. And I'd say, babe, someday we'll live down here. You know, that Ritz Cove that's connected, that community? That's where we're going to live someday, right down here in Laguna Beach. There's a community right next to it.

58:15And I was a little bit more familiar. And then about four months after that, we did it again. Except this time, I remember walking in there going, I kind of feel like I belong here. And then I snuck into the gated community and we just drove around. I couldn't get past the guard gate the first time. Then I found a way in. We just walked around and drove around and looked at the homes. And what was happening is I was just touching my dream and becoming more familiar with it. And as I did this over time, as I did this over time, I started to believe I belonged there. And as I was acquiring more skills, more abilities, more opportunities, this started to happen as well because I belonged there.

58:57I was conditioning myself. I was giving myself a mental rehearsal of what my potential life would look like. And then I remember one time I said, hey, if I hit my numbers this month, let's go out to the desert, to Palm Springs area, La Quinta, California. Let's go out to the La Quinta Resort. We went out to the La Quinta Resort. I'll never forget it. Same routine. I played golf. She went to the massage. We sat around the pool. Do you know to this day that my two main homes are in Laguna Beach and La Quinta, California? Do you think that's by coincidence? See, over time of touching my dream and getting a bite of it, I became familiar with it.

59:33Your mind moves towards what you're most familiar with, what you gravitate towards. Now, I think you need to set up incentives to do it. But I'm going to tell you this changed my life. Now, let's step back and say, Ed, I don't have the money to do that. Great. Here's what I want you to do. Whatever your dream is. Let's say your dream is something material. Go to a watch store and try on those watches once a month. Go do that. Go to the suit place and put the suits on, but don't buy them. Rent a car for a day. Rent a Lambo for a day. Rent a Rolls Royce for a day. Something for a day. I'm going to give you stuff in a minute that costs nothing.

1:00:08Just so you know, I'm going from the expensive thing to the nothing thing. Start to touch your dream. Those of you that are doing a little bit better. one time, save up for a year, rent a jet. Instead of taking, by the way, this is the thing I would not do. That's what I see people with success doing all the time. They take these long vacations. I've never taken a long vacation. I would take one and two day vacations, Cabo, Laguna Beach, wherever one and two day vacations. Why? I didn't want to lose the momentum in my business. But what would happen, listen to me, when I would get away for a day or two, my environment dictated my thinking.

1:00:41When I got into these other environments, that's when I would dream bigger. That's when I think about my new vision, where I was going, what I wanted to do, what my idea was, what my plan was. People always say, I have a hard time getting my plan together. That's because you're in the same environment. Get out of your environment. Go somewhere for a day or two. And by the way, those of you that are trying to climb to success, what are you doing taking one and two and three week-long vacations ever? I'm 52 years old. You know how many week-long vacations I've taken in my lifetime? Less than I can count on both hands.

1:01:09Maybe less than I can count on one hand. I don't take week and two weeks away. My businesses need me, but I've taken a lot of one in two days, three days, because it's the same juice. I can get the same juice without wringing out the dang orange all the way, coming back and there's all these problems, right? So don't take long breaks. You're trying to climb to the top. Let me just let you in on it. Those of us that have climbed to the top, there weren't long vacations. I know you see people on Instagram on their European trip. I don't even know how these people got their money. I don't get all that.

1:01:40That's something you do after you're really wealthy. And even after I got really wealthy, I just have no stomach for it. I don't like being away. I love business. I love my bed. I love my life. I live on vacation. Now you want to build a great life, build and have homes where everybody else vacation someday. And the way you do that is go touch those dreams one bite at a time every couple months. If you gave yourself the gift a couple of times a month, excuse me, a couple of times a year, three times a year, six times a year of touching your dream, renting the car, renting the house, right? For a week, for excuse me, for a day, go into the hotel for your dream.

1:02:15We'll think you'll meet people. You'll vibrate differently. Your big thinking comes out. You have a very difficult time changing your thinking in the same environment. It's very difficult to do. So what happened was I was able to change my environment for just 24 or 48 hours. And that's where I would do my big dream and my big thinking, my big strategizing. Plus I'm becoming familiar with the dream. Plus I'm moving towards it. plus I believe I belong there and your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. So now I'm becoming a little bit more familiar with this stuff. You starting to get this now?

1:02:45You say, Ed, my dream's not material at all. I get it. Most of mine aren't either. So what if once a month or once a quarter, let's say your dream is to serve in your church. Have you ever just taken a Wednesday off on a vacation day and served at your church, your mosque, your temple, or your synagogue? Do you know what that would do for your spirit in your soul to touch that dream? Have you ever just taken a day off and spent it doing something that's your dream? Just the day off, you just unplug. You just sit on the beach, right? If your dream is service, what if you took a day and served at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen, right?

1:03:22Or anywhere like that, or a women's shelter, whatever it might be, right? Or you want to get involved in helping people with cancer, or there's a charity or something you want to get mine. Take a day and touch that dream. It costs nothing. If you have no money, but it's material, drive into the nice neighborhoods, get out and walk around, go to open houses, touch these things. If it's you wish you could be a trainer full time, there's a career you want to do, but you got to pay the bills of the day. Take one day and go do that career. Ask someone if you can for one day, get mentored by them, follow them around the gym.

1:03:56if that's what you want to do. Follow them around the lab. Follow them around the business office. Touch your dream. Now, these things in my life have changed me. Why? There's also proximity to power. There's proximity to being around power. And power is your dream. Power is the people who have those dreams. Those people have the answers, the thoughts, the vocabulary, the vibrational frequency, the relationships. I remember watching these guys playing golf and just how they walked was different than me. What they talked about was different than me. And not all of them had it, but some of them did.

1:04:30I remember one of the first times we were laying out of the pool going, wow, people just lay like this and relax. I've never done this in my damn life. I wonder if there's some correlation between this relaxation and being successful. And so, do you understand what I'm telling you? that an element that's missing in your life, listen to me, is you touching your dream. And then here's the free one of all of them. Mental rehearsal, just visualization of the dream, giving yourself the gift of picturing yourself driving that car, picturing yourself in that church, picturing yourself with that body, picturing yourself in that relationship, picturing yourself with that emotion.

1:05:07Mental rehearsal causes you to believe you belong in the dream. Do you mentally rehearse? How often do you mentally rehearse? Because what's really happening is your visual sphere, your auditory fear, your kinesthetic fear, the things you touch on a regular basis, hear and see are mentally rehearsing the rest of your life for you. So at some point, you have to take control of that, override it, and actually force yourself to mentally rehearse the things you want in your life. That's a form of touching your dream. It's the lowest, the lowest vibrational frequency is picturing it, but it's better than not.

1:05:46And if you do it enough times, because dreaming is free, you could do this daily and repeat it. And if you stack up that enough times, it can be more powerful than touching it for one day, a quarter. But imagine if you combine the two, the mental rehearsal in your life of whatever the emotion, the dream, the car, the house, the relationship, the service, the contribution, the memory, the rapid, the repetitious mental rehearsal. And then once or twice a year, four or five times a year, you go touch your dream on a budget or even not on a budget. You drive the neighborhood, you try on the watch, you try on the shoes, you try on.

1:06:22Listen to me. These things matter. You put yourself in these environments. You go have dinner at, you know, a lot of people go, well, we go out to dinner every single week, once a week. Let's just say you do that. Okay. What if you just went once a month, but you went to the place you'd like to go the rest of your life. So you saved the money from those three meals that you don't go. And on the fourth one, you go to the place you'd like to be and get to touch the dream. You starting to see what I'm saying? Some of you that are a little bit further along, you'll give yourself a gift. You got a couple of bucks.

1:06:49Have a night where you don't go out and you have a chef come cook for you. And I know that some of these things are things that many of you are nowhere near ready to do. Remember what I just said. I started out by driving the neighborhoods for free, just getting into the neighborhood. I couldn't even get into the houses. I couldn't even get through the gates. And then that graduated to one night at a hotel near those neighborhoods. But where it really started was the mental rehearsal. Ed Milet had to convince himself he belonged in his dreams. Ed Milet had to become familiar with these dreams by touching them mentally, physically, and actually auditory as well.

1:07:26I remember the first time we didn't get, when we would go to the Ritz-Carlton, we would always get the cheap garden room. And I remember about two years into doing it, I go, we're going to get the oceanfront. And I'll never forget the first time when I woke up and I could hear the waves crashing. Actually, I went to sleep. Frankly, the waves were so foreign to me that I had a hard time sleeping with the noise. But I remember waking up and I opened the door on our balcony. This is two years into doing this. I opened the door on our balcony and I went, oh, wow, this is a different morning. You wake up here in the ocean waves and feeling that breeze and that smell of the salt water.

1:08:06I belong here. I want this. And it incentivized me to work a thousand times harder had I not experienced it. Somehow this starts to change our desire level as well. And so you start mixing all this together. You got a little bit of a recipe. So let me ask you today. It doesn't cost you anything to dream and mentally rehearse. Are you willing to do that? Number one. Whatever it is, material or not material. Number two, are you willing to start setting up some incentives with yourself or just start saving for that once a quarter, once a month, twice a year experience for a day or two where you touch your dream?

1:08:44Third, if it's service-oriented, are you willing to take off a day, a quarter, and go serve in your church or your synagogue or your temple, whatever it might be? Are you willing to go try these things on? Maybe rent a car for a day? Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to touch your dream to some extent? You have to bite the steak before you can eat the whole thing. And this is an element not talked about. Now, if you have the opportunity, you acquire the talents and the skills, I'm telling you, you become an unstoppable force. So my challenge to you today is, are you willing to make any of these adjustments to your life game?

1:09:20Worst case scenario, drive your car somewhere, it's free, and walk around where your dream exists. Walk where it exists. Maybe your dream is to live in New York City, right? You live in the suburbs of New Jersey. Get in your dadgum car or take a cab and get over there and just walk around and touch it. See it. Smell it. And what starts to happen is you build something called sensory acuity. And this sensory acuity makes your senses more acute. And then in your everyday life, you begin to see people, places, and things that deliver on that dream that you're now familiar with. Here's the truth. Last thing I'll tell you.

1:10:01If you continue to live unfamiliar with your dream, you will die unfamiliar with it. But if you begin to familiarize yourself with your dream, with mental rehearsal or physical touch or the actual experience of doing it on a short-term basis, there's a high probability that when you are at the end of your life, you will have lived that dream. Why is it so important to achieve your dreams? Because your dreams are not a joke. Your dreams are not a hallucination. See, I believe God gives you your dreams as a preview as to what's possible in your life. These are the possibilities. That's why these dreams are in your heart.

1:10:35This is what's possible for you. It doesn't mean it's going to happen. It doesn't even mean it's probable. Here's what's possible. And what I believe is you take possibility to probability by repetition, mental rehearsal, and conditioning. All I did is have dreams of what was possible. The difference with me, I believe now that I'm 52 years old on the other side of it, obviously it was all the hard work, but you know what spurred the hard work? Belief I belong there. At some point, if you don't believe you belong there, you stop catching those ground balls. You stop hitting those home runs. You stop swinging those golf clubs in practice.

1:11:08At some point, you got to believe you belong there to make those phone calls, eat the right diet, make the contacts, whatever that thing is in your life. You have to have the desire level on the hard work. And I believe the hard work only long-term comes from believing you belong there. And when your entire environment and all the people around you on a daily basis, don't reinforce that and don't condition it. You must override it in short-term bites. But if you do, these things that God's given you as possibilities of your life become probabilities. And then you become what I call an impossibility achiever.

1:11:40And in my life, I feel like I've become an impossibility achiever. What most people think is impossible, I got the recipe for. I start envisioning it. Then I start touching it. Then I start experiencing it. Then I start believing I belong there. Then I become familiar with it. And then I have it. That's the deal. That's the deal. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today's question was very simple. Ed, how do I change my present right now?

1:12:15By the way, if you have a question you want answered on the show. You can submit it on my Instagram at Ed Milet, E-D-M-Y-L-E-T-T. You submit it there, we get thousands of them, but there's a chance your question will get answered on the show. And so today is all about leadership and vision and dreams because I've been asked about this topic a lot. And don't discount yourself. If you have a child, if you have a company, a business, if you are a human being, you're a leader in the context that I'm going to cover today. Okay. So today's topic is this. I want you to write this down. Here's the title.

1:12:45It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. Let me say it to you again. This is big stuff. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. That's not my saying. I heard it somewhere many, many years ago, but I've lived by it. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. What does that mean, Ed? Well, here's what it means. The first thing is it's a reminder that everybody you meet has a dream. Everybody's born with a dream. There's a heart that dreams. As we get older, those dreams can change. They can evolve. They can even die and get buried. But every human being has a dream.

1:13:22That dream could be to be a multimillionaire billionaire. That dream could be to lead millions of people. That dream could be to be a mother or a father. That dream could be a particular career. That dream could have a particular body. That dream could be to live with a particular set of emotions. For some of you, your dreams as simple as my dream is to begin to be happy. I'm tired of living sad or down or worried or angry. But remember this, every human being you meet has a dream. It might be a big one that's long-term, and it might be just a short one. Their dream might just be, man, can I get through today with a little bit of peace, with a little bit of bliss?

1:13:58But everybody's got a dream. And I've reminded myself of that when I meet humans, that they have dreams. Every precious person has one. And like I said, there's millions of them, and there's varieties of them. And some people have lots of different dreams. But this is a context and a syntax that you begin to see your brothers and sisters differently. That server at the restaurant that's serving you, that you don't make eye contact with when they ask you, how's the food? Or what would you like to order? That person's got a dream. That dream might be just that you acknowledge them. That dream might be that they want to be the best server that's ever lived.

1:14:32That dream might be that, you know, they want to have a big YouTube channel someday. That dream might be they want to write a book. That dream might be that they want to meet the love of their life. But that person's got a dream. That's why they were born. You were born to live a dream. You were born to make your dreams come true. And I know this. And so what those people are looking for is a leader. And all a leader means is I can help you. I see something that you don't see. I see a potential. So as a leader in a company, many of you run companies or businesses. Remember this. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams.

1:15:11What does that mean? That means that you need to begin to work on your vision because everybody you meet has got a dream. If you're a mother, what's the vision for your family? What's your vision for your children? Are you sowing seeds in them of vision and visionary leadership in them? I read a book a long time ago that really changed my life. It's an old book. It's written by a guy named Guy Kawasaki, and it's called Selling the Dream. and what he was really writing about was Apple. He was the guy that kind of marketed the old Macintosh for Apple. The entire book is the context of what Apple was doing to become a great company.

1:15:46And if you really understand and study that company, Steve Jobs was a great dream seller. See, selling the dream is a skill and a talent you build. Listen to me. But most people are oblivious that it's important. Most people think that's only for the Steve Jobs of the world or the Ed Milets of the world. You want to be a great father? You get great at selling a dream to your children and your family and your spouse. You want to be a great business person, entrepreneur, you get great at selling the dream and having a vision for where you want to go. You want to be a great anything. You want to lead yourself in life.

1:16:20You better have a big time vision. You'd be able to sell yourself on that dream. Life's about vision. That's why the Bible talks about where there is no vision, the people will perish. They will literally die. You're a dead human without a dream. You're a dead human without a dream. So you should constantly be working on your dream muscle, your vision muscle, and your ability to sell yourself and other people on that vision. I am talking to you today because I had a dream and a vision that I could help millions of people, that I could use an ability I thought I might have to communicate to reach people.

1:16:53Remember this. We constantly move in our life towards what we're most familiar with. We move to the familiar. We gravitate to the familiar. We develop patterns and behaviors that are familiar. That's why when you drive home, usually from wherever you work, you don't even have to consciously think about how you're getting there. You just kind of pull right off the freeway when it happens, don't you? You're not even thinking about it because it's familiar to you. You get in the shower, you don't think, you know what? Today, I'm going to soap here first and then shampoo. You got to root. You just do it unconsciously.

1:17:23Your life, most of it is unconscious because your brain is trying to save energy by creating habits that are repetitive and that are familiar. Well, if you're only familiar with the tasks you have to do, or as a mom or a dad familiar with, I got to cook them lunch, I got to get dinner, I got to pick them up for school. And you just do the monotonous stuff and you never have a family that's loaded with a vision or a dream of where they're going. Or for each individual child you have or for your spouse that you're selling them a dream and a vision of who they could be and how much you believe in them.

1:17:55Of all the things I'm not very good at, I'm amazing at selling people on themselves. I'll tell people that all the time. Server in a restaurant is a great example. If I say, man, you're awesome. You are awesome. You're amazing. Thank you. Man, you're not even going to be here someday, are you? You want to do something out of here. I could see you. I could see you out of here doing more. Or if they do want to be there, I'll say, man, I could see you running this place someday. With my kids, since they were little, I was selling them a dream and a vision. I used to say, my let's are going to do something awesome.

1:18:23I'm telling you. Hey, listen to me. The my let's are doing something awesome. They still get text messages from me. Hey, let's do something great today. We're going to do something freaking great as a family. Woo! We kicked some butt today, making a difference. The Milets are leaders. We got a vision, and I'll sell them that dream over and over again. Think about all the people you admire in your life. Think about them. What's one thing they all have in common? They had a big old dream, a vision, and a dream that they sold either themselves or you. Let's go through a few. And by the way, when I'm saying this, what about you?

1:18:57What vision are you constantly selling yourself on? What vision are you selling your colleagues on? What vision are you selling your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend on? Your children on? Your parents on? Do you do that? Are you conscious of it? Because that's called being alive. The ability to grab a vision and develop it is a muscle. And to do it repetitively, even when people are rolling their eyes at you going, I heard this before. And here's the kicker. Get good at selling it. That's the second step. Think about who you admire. Let's just go through a few people. Let's say you're a follower of Jesus.

1:19:31Just curious. Did he have any dream he sold? Do you have any vision? His vision, his dream was everlasting life for you. That's about as big as it gets. You bought the dream and the vision if you're a believer. Whatever your faith is, you've bought the vision and the dream of this person that is your deity. In my case, I'm a Christian. And then what did he do? He sold the dream. He cast the vision and he sold the dream over and over and over and over and over again. And then he built a team of people that sold it. And it's become the biggest movement in the history of mankind. Maybe you're not religious.

1:20:11How about Martin Luther King? Do you admire him? Wow, that's interesting. Because his most famous speech is, I have a dream. And he sold the dream. He did it with his oratory skills. He did it with his physical labor in the marches. and the standing in the difficult times, up against adversity. And then he had other people who caught that dream, like the Rosa Parks of the world, who started to carry that dream and that vision. Okay, maybe you're into politics. Who do you like, Trump or Obama? Because you don't like them both. What did Obama have? Hope and change. If you loved Obama, you were all about hope and change.

1:20:53And he embodied that hope and that change that you love. Maybe you didn't like Obama. Maybe you're a Trumper. You love Donald Trump. Did he have a vision? Does he have a vision? Make America great again. That's the vision. And he sold the dream on it. Now, it's even more powerful when you embody that dream. So let me give you some steps. You've got to get great at seeing a vision for yourself and other people. Then you've got to sell a big enough dream that the dream of everybody within your stewardship can fit inside the one you're selling. So if you're a business leader, you got to sell it big.

1:21:30Here's your number one problem if you're running a business right now. You ain't selling it big enough. You got to see it bigger. Ready for this? Get in the big, man. Sell it bigger. Get in the big. When Apple was just a board company, Jobs was talking about being the most transformative company of all time. That was crazy. How about me? Some guy that's just plugging away as an entrepreneur 25 years ago, a dream of being worth hundreds of millions of dollars of influence and millions of people. of using my story to change. You'd have laughed your ass off at me back in those days. Well, people aren't laughing anymore, are they?

1:22:03Because I got a big old vision. I started selling myself the dream. And when you sell it and then you embody it. So that's step one, get a vision. Step two, start selling that dream. Step three, make it repetitive. Being in business or being a mom or being a dad or being a leader is not coming up with new things you say to old people. It's saying old things to new people. Let me say that to you again. Too many of you are trying to create some new thing you're saying to the old team. What you need to be doing is saying the old things to new people. So I've said it over and over and over. So you got to sell it big enough that everybody's dream fits inside of it.

1:22:38So the Milets are going to do something awesome. Max, you can play on the PGA Tour. Bella Boo, you can have your own business and run for president someday. It fits inside the dream that I'm selling. If you run in a company, you got to get the dreams of everybody to fit inside that. The third thing is you got to back it up with massive action. It can't just be words. People got to watch you go, oh, she means it now. You get good at selling that dream and you do it repetitively. You don't end up suffering from what I call leadership fatigue, where you get tired of hearing from yourself. You get tired of saying it.

1:23:09Most businesses fail because the leader gets tired of selling the dream and acting like it. Most parents fail because they get tired. If they ever sold a dream, they get tired of selling it because the kids don't behave. They don't act like it and they finally just quit. the more you sell the dream and sell the vision. I'm convinced the problem for most kids is they're being raised by parents who don't sell a big vision and a big dream and tell them how amazing it's going to be. When you're a leader, that's a position. That means you have a viewpoint that people behind you can't see. You have a job as a leader, as a mom, as a dad, as a business leader, as a coach to say, hey, let me tell you what I see because you can't see it.

1:23:46Let me tell you how it's amazing it's going to be when we get there, how worth it it's going to be to go through the trials and tribulations, how worth it is to go through the ups and downs and put the work in. Let me say it to you again, because this is going quick. Okay? You got to see something they don't see because of your position as leader. And you got to be able to say, let me tell you what I see. And you tell them over and over and over. And you tell them in different ways until they get it, but you say the same thing. And you tell them how amazing it's going to be when we get there. Go all the way back to Jesus.

1:24:14Let me tell you what I see. I see you in heaven someday. Let me tell you how amazing heaven's going to be. Let me tell you how amazing it is right over and over and over. Then you tell them how to get there over and over and over again. It's got to be big. It's got to be bold. It's got to capture people's hearts and they've got to see themselves fitting inside the one you're selling. It can't be a selfish dream unless you're just leading you. Then you got to do the hard one. You got to validate it with your action. They got to see you go, wow, she's serious. She's in here two hours earlier than she used to be.

1:24:48Oh my gosh, she's got this dream of doing this bodybuilding contest she's doing. Look how disciplined she is with her diet. My gosh, you know, she takes off on lunch and works out in addition to her morning workout. They start seeing it, man. He's talking big stuff for the company right now. He's talking major plans, major vision, unbelievable stuff. Have you seen how he's working right now? This dude's a maniac. He means it. You validate the dream with your actions. You tell your kid, They're going to play high school basketball. How often are you getting out there shooting with them? How often are you getting up early?

1:25:20How many videos are you sending them on shooting stuff? How many articles? What the coach are you trying to get work to get them with? Validate it with your actions. You become a powerhouse. And then it starts to get momentum. This is what happens in life. You've got to learn to do this. If I was to tell you one thing about your life I would wish for you is that you would get a bigger vision for you. If there's one thing I would wish for your company is that you get a bigger vision for your company. If there's one thing I'd wish for your family is that you get a bigger vision. And after you have those things, then what I would wish for you is that you work on the development of selling that dream and getting better at selling yourself and others on that dream.

1:26:01Then I'd wish you'd repeat it almost to the point of people thinking you're crazy. And then what I would wish is that everybody can fit inside the one you're selling. And then what I'd wish is that you'd validate it by taking massive action. You start doing that, your life changes. The reason your life is not changing if you want it to is you don't have a compelling vision that's greater than your fears. And the way you make a dream happen, by the way, you might say, I don't know what my dream and my vision is. Let me tell you what it is. your dreams will move you in your life. Always is either the future you want or other people.

1:26:39You'll never do anything for yourself, but you'll do stuff to achieve your vision and you'll do stuff to make other people happy. What I recommend you do is once you get that vision is you link your love for other people to that vision and dream. Because as long as you tell yourself, I love these people more than I'm afraid that this dream won't happen. I love these people more than I'm worried about the obstacles and the roadblocks. I love my family. I love my whatever it is more than I'm scared, more than the adversity. My love is greater than anything that will get in the way. Most of you are afraid to get a big vision because you think you're going to miss it.

1:27:14And then you're afraid to really pursue it and chase it because you're afraid you'll fail. Many, many times I wanted to quit. And I would remind myself, I love my family more than this obstacle. I love my family more than I'm afraid. I love my family more than this adversity. I will love my family longer and it will endure far past this problem. And once I attached my love to the dream, the people I love to the dream, I became a pretty unstoppable force because there was no cop-out. And by the way, if you know someone who's quit on their dream, you know, the hard reality, the adversity was greater than their love.

1:28:00The adversity was greater than their love for their family. They sold their family out. That's the hard truth. I can sell out my family. There ain't any word game, any adversity, any obstacle, anything you're going to put in front of me is going to get me to sell my family up the river. And that's exactly what you're doing when you quit. Let me ask you this. Let's just get this straight. Is there anything bigger than your love for these other people? Is there anything that would come in your way that would be bigger than your love? Maybe your love for your Lord, your love for your family. Anything bigger than that?

1:28:37Good. I hope the answer was no, because if there's nothing bigger than that, you're going to win. Unless, of course, you renegotiate that at some point, which a lot of people do. You ever seen someone who's been defeated in their dream. Quietly, they might blame someone else. They might have their excuse, but deep in their soul, deep in their intuition, deep inside them, they know they sold out. They sold out. Here's the great news. I've quit many things before, but I got back up again. It's not too late. You can decide right now. That's it. He's right. I'm going to start attaching my vision and my dreams to my love for these other people.

1:29:20And I'm getting up. I'm going to be a different force now. Let me ask you this question. Any of you that have kids, and if you don't have kids, just pick somebody you love. Let's say you were sitting in a meeting right now. Someone walked up to you and handed you a note and said that person was in a serious car accident. Picture your children, if you have children, or your grandchildren. If you don't have children, your mom or your dad, your boyfriend or your girlfriend. you're in a very big meeting room and you got handed a note so-and-so has been in an accident it's serious you need to come now what would you do you'd get right up and run out of that room wouldn't you in a minute wouldn't you would you stop and go well wait a minute i don't want to be rude to the speaker i don't want to get up and bother the other people in the room what's everyone going to think about me when i get up is everyone going to say wouldn't occur to you at all that stupid stuff of what other people are going to think because you got to get to this person you love, right?

1:30:16Because your love is greater than that moment. And when you got up, if you started to run out of the room and someone stopped, you go, hey, someone said, what are you doing? You can't get up in the middle of the meeting. There's no way you can do this. That's rude. Sit your butt back down. Would you go, oh, okay. I don't want to be rude. Would you do that? Or would you go, get out of my way? My baby, my child, my girlfriend, my mom has been in an accident. get out of here and you steamroll and when you got to the door they said hey you need to get back in there this door is locked there's no way out what would you do go well i guess that's a sign i'm not supposed to get to my dream it's god giving me a sign too much adversity is that what you say it's a sign nah you know what i bet you do i bet you'd kick the door down wouldn't you you sure would you kick that door down bam no obstacle when you got out to your car and it didn't start and it wouldn't go.

1:31:08You're like, well, I guess that means I'm not supposed to get there. Man, one thing after the other. I guess I'll just lay down here. Another obstacle, another sign, just not meant to be. I just don't have what it takes to get to my child. Would you do that? Heck no. You'd go carjack a dadgum car if you had to, wouldn't you? You'd ask, I need your car. I need your car. I need your car. Take me right now. You'd get an Uber. You'd do whatever you could. You'd get an Uber. You'd get a taxi. You'd run and get anything it took. When you got to the hospital, if you got to the door, They go, hey, slow down.

1:31:36There's procedure here. You got to sign in. Are you family? You got to be like, hey, I got to get to my family. No obstacle. Well, hey, we need these. Would you say, well, man, before I do it, I need to know the exact words I'm supposed to say. I need to be totally prepared for when I get to the hospital. I need total preparation before I can get to the screw preparation. You're never going to be totally prepared for that moment. You have to have the perfect words or the perfect moment or the perfect knowledge or understand everything. That's all out the damn window. When you want something to get somebody that bad, you'd get to your baby, wouldn't you?

1:32:12You wouldn't need the perfect words. You wouldn't need to know everything. You wouldn't wait to get started for the right timing. None of that crap would matter, would it? Because you're going to get there because you love them so much. That's how your dream has to be. And by the way, that's the truth of how people make their dreams come true. And here's the truth about the people that don't. They don't attach that love, that urgency, that obsession. And so little stupid things start to seem big. What are these people going to think? Oh my gosh, someone rejected me and told me to sit back down.

1:32:45The doors are closed. There's no way to get in that room and make it happen. You'd find a way to get that door knocked down, wouldn't you? There's no door closed. It didn't start. There's a setback. My car. No, wouldn't matter. When you got there, they said, hey, we need this information. We need to hear the right words from you. You wouldn't wait around and go, well, let me sit in the parking lot and prepare for another three weeks before I get started so the timing's better and I know everything I need to know when I get in that hospital. No, you know enough and you'd get going. What you would say is I'll figure it out when I get in there.

1:33:17Isn't it trivial and isn't it silly when you put it in that context? What we let stop us and why we lay down after a while? Ed, how do I get back up in my life? I'm telling you how. You get back up by getting a new vision, by repeatedly selling yourself this dream, and by attaching your love like that precious child or loved one who was in an accident, that type of urgency, that type of love, that type of obsession towards chasing it. And now you're up. And when those obstacles do come, they may rattle you. They may stagger you, but they won't stop you. This is the Ed Mylon Show.

1:33:59We'll be right back.