Stop Hiding and Reach Your DREAMS

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0:53So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed.

1:06This is the Ed Myron Show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So great to have you with me this week. And let me say this first. I see you. And I think that's important because the topic of this week's show is stop hiding. So many of us, including me in my past, we find ways to hide in our life. And that ability to hide, to stay hidden, to stay invisible, to stay small, is what keeps us from reaching our biggest dreams in our life, our God-sized dreams, I call them. And so many of us, and I'd like you to take an inventory today as I go through some of the places people hide. Because let's just be honest, making your biggest dreams come true in your life, you know, I know there's this stuff on social media and Instagram that makes entrepreneurship or dreaming or achievement.

1:51look glamorous and fun and easy. But if you talk to anybody who's actually done it, they will tell you it's extremely difficult. Winning is not easy. Winning is a grind. Winning is a fight. Winning is a battle. Winning is about growing. Winning is about mental toughness. And I don't think most people have an appreciation of really how much work and really how mentally tough you have to be to make your biggest dreams come true. Whether that dream is a big business you want to build or something philanthropic you want to do or that relationship you want to find. You've got to work on yourself and dig deep.

2:21to do that, to become a multimillionaire or billionaire in your life, whatever those goals are. It's, by the way, to create something that solves a problem or cures an illness or fixes something or to correct an injustice in the world. This stuff's hard. This is not for the faint of heart. That's why very few people do it. And in my opinion, most people, the vast majority of people never become who they could, never reach their potential, never achieve their God-sized dream, never become the person they're proud of because they hide. And there's lots of ways to hide. And the only reason I know that there's lots of ways to hide is many of these I've hidden in.

2:58And so when I create content and I share, this is not from some soapbox of some guy who's got it all figured out or perfect. I'm just maybe a little bit further down the road. There's this great Chinese proverb I quote often that says, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. And so if I'm anything for you on this show, I hope I'm maybe just a guy coming back. I've been down the road. And so when I talk about the mistakes that people make, I'm familiar with them because I've made most of them. And so, but hiding throughout life is so sad. And when we get to the end of our lives, I believe our regrets are not the things we attempted to do and failed at, or even hardships or painful times.

3:37I think regrets are acts of omission, meaning things we never tried, things we didn't go for, the times we didn't speak up, the times we didn't take a stand, the time we didn't start the business, we didn't buy the property, we didn't ask the person out for the date, whatever it is, I think it's acts of omission. It's hiding in life. And never before in the history of our time is it easier to hide than it is now with all of distractions that we have. And so as I go through this today, if you're thinking of yourself or someone that you love, think about what it's costing you to play small? What's costing you to hide?

4:12And maybe where you hide. And even as I open up the show, you may say, I'm not hiding. I'm after it. Are you sure? Could you be even more after it? Could you be more focused, giving more, growing more, working harder, enjoying it more, celebrating it more, getting all the juice of life in your emotions more? My guess is because you listen to me or you're watching me, you're a lot like me. And we're crazy people. We're crazy because the status quo is not good enough for us. And when I say the status quo, I don't mean necessarily just stuff or wealth or building or creating, although that can be part of it.

4:47It may be just the status quo of us. You know, we want to grow. We want to give more. We want to contribute. I say often I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. And I don't think that process is ever going to stop for me. I sure hope it doesn't. I think you're either growing or dying in life. And I want to keep growing. And that might be growing spiritually at this stage of my life more than when I was younger. Maybe I wanted to grow financially. I wanted to grow my body physically. So there's different stages of life where we want to grow, but I know what stops growth. I know what holds us back from our dreams.

5:19I know what causes us to play small. I could tell you right now, it's hiding. So let's look at some of the places that you or someone you love may be hiding so that we can just identify it. Because once you acknowledge something, once you have self-awareness over it, you can fix it. It's not even difficult. It's just a matter of acknowledging it, admitting it, stepping up to the next level and going. So where do people hide? First place most people hide, the past. They love to tell the story of their past. And that past could be a good story, a win, something they've achieved, or it could be a story of them telling themselves that was something painful or harmful.

5:54And so we live in our stories. See, people that are growing and expanding and giving and living life all out and getting the emotions and the wealth and the contribution and the memories that they want, whatever those things are, they very rarely live in the past. I say all the time, you guys have heard this in my book, The Power of One More. There's two points of references in life. There's people that operate out of history and memory. Everything's history and memory. So everything that comes to their present awareness reminds them of something in the past or a memory of theirs. There's history and memory.

6:24That's most people. Very few people operate out of a different operating system, which is vision and dreams, the future. We're both in the present, but how do we process the present? Most people process the present through a story that they tell themselves about the past. Other people, extraordinary people, happier people process the present. Okay. And, and they're, they've got vision and dreams to look forward to. And so the past, are you hiding in the past? Let's look at two ways that people do it. Number one, it's some story about something that happened. You know, I often talk an awful lot about my dad being an alcoholic when I was a young man.

7:02And as I was doing that, and as I was writing the book, and as I've given those talks, I've had to be very careful not to live there, but I actually tell that story about the past to forecast the future. But I don't live in that story. I'm no longer living with my dad. My dad's passed away. My dad is no longer an alcoholic. He quit drinking for 35 years and he's gone now. That story is the past. Now the memories, the lessons, all of that, I use in the present and the future. But many people will tell that type of a story the rest of their life. So something, a divorce you've had, are you still telling that story?

7:35By the way, telling it doesn't mean you're verbally saying it all the time. Stay with me. It gives you to think about where you live. We live in our thoughts. So when I say, you know, talk about it, it may not be verbal. It may just be your thought process. How often do think about a relationship from the past, right? Or a failure from the past or where you were a victim in the past or where someone harmed you in the past or a previous career, or you look back at a time in your life with reverence, like I wish I looked like I used to look or felt like I used to feel, right? And so, or a stage of your life, man, I wish I was back where my kids were little again, or I wish I was younger again, or I wish I was back in school, whatever it is, you're telling yourself a story about the past now and usually they're sad stories then there's other people who they tell stories about wins they've had they've been living off that story for way too long you know the old adage of the guy who talks about he's 30 years old he's still talking about high school football that's one version that's obvious but some of you are still talking about some sale you closed six months ago right some business when you had a year and a half ago and you're still living in it you're still basking in the glow it's still something you focus on i could tell you the most successful people I know on to the next.

8:50That doesn't mean they don't celebrate their wins. They do. I talk a lot about this in my content. I talk about the concept of blissful dissatisfaction, learning to live blissfully, simultaneously dissatisfied concept of blissful dissatisfaction. Most people don't get, you can live in bliss and still not be satisfied and want to grow. People conflate satisfaction and happiness. They're totally different things. You can be extremely happy and still have this internal dissatisfaction that you want to grow and expand and get better. But a lot of people tell wins of the past, stories of the past. And it could be 10 years ago, 15 years ago.

9:24It could be last month. Let's just be serious. If you're in sales, last month's ancient history. You still talking about last month? You still talking about some award you won a year ago? So I'm being direct with you today, but you have to really look at it. How much of the time are you spending in the past? And that is a place to hide. Hide in your victim story. Hide in a true story that was painful or harmful. Either way, it doesn't exist anymore. This is what's crazy about telling stories or living or thinking in the past. It doesn't exist anymore. It's, to some extent, a figment of our imagination.

9:57You can't change it. There's no way to go back to it. You can reprocess what it means, which I've talked a lot about in my content. but a lot of people hide in their story of the past, both defeats, victories, great memories, and not so good ones. A lot of you achievers that are listening to me, you spend a lot of your time dwelling on wins you've had in the past, and you allow those wins to comfort you from doing the real hard work now, because things aren't as bad in your life as they used to be. I work the hardest in my life. Many people tell me, and I know this was true for me when I was young, when I was the most broke, when I was working to eat, working to pay rent.

10:39And then what happens is in life, as we climb a little higher, our comfort level gets greater. And we just don't quite have that edge. And I think all of you that have won at some level know what I mean, that edge. You lose that edge because you focus a little bit and take comfort and solace in wins that don't even exist anymore. They were last month, last week, last year. I love when I watch a champion win and I study them when they win an NBA title or a golf tournament. You can tell some of them are like, well, this is the pinnacle. This is it. I've made the top. You can tell other ones are like, this is awesome.

11:16I'm going to celebrate this. This is tremendous, but I want another one. I want to climb higher. And so are you hiding in the past? That's number one. number two do you hide in sports a lot of uh male friends of mine uh spend a lot of time hiding in sports I'm a fan I'm a sports fan I was an athlete at a pretty high level in college and uh I'm a Boston Red Sox fan many of you see me with my Red Sox hat on and uh from time to time I'm a fan of the team I cheer for it I love watching sports because I love watching greatness I love watching competition, but I don't hide there. I'm under no illusion that whether they win or lose, it impacts my life.

12:02But you all know a lot of men in your life, let's just be honest, they wear a jersey with another man's name on the back. That's weird, right? You all know that guy. Some of you are that guy watching right now. You're a grown man, and you're wearing the jersey that says Kobe Bryant on the back or LeBron or Gretzky or whoever. You got to just evaluate that. I mean that as a friend. Should you really remember wearing another grown man's name on your family's back? Are you hiding a little bit? Do you get a little bit too connected? Have you ever caught yourself saying, we won Sunday? We won last night?

12:38We? That's hiding. You don't play for that team. You don't play. On your tombstone, they're not going to list any of the wins of some sports team you're a spectator for. Who, by the way, you pay the salaries of the people you're cheering for with your ticket prices and TV watching. oh and but that jersey you bought so it's worth watching a lot of you uh i can hear it right now a lot of you have friends like that you're going to send us your friend and by the way brother that or sister that wears those uniforms i don't mean that as a criticism i just think you need to know that's odd and it's it's uh it's it's uh something to evaluate i love sports am i happy when the red socks win sure do i lose any sleep when they lose no and if you do that's strange If you say we or us, you don't play for that team.

13:25You don't play for that team. By the way, nowadays it's so silly. Players switch teams all the time. Most part, they just take where the money's. They're free agents, right? They just go. So your self-worth, your life, how much time you're spending on other people's lives, just fantasizing and dreaming that you play for that team, and somehow if they win, here's what happens. If you can focus on them, maybe nobody will pay attention to you. If you can focus on that sports team, maybe no one is really going to pay attention to what you're doing. Or maybe you don't have to. Maybe somehow, in some bizarre way, you think if nine strangers on a baseball field win a baseball game, somehow that will comfort you in your life.

14:09Even though you don't play on that team, they don't pay you to play there. But you getting it? Are you doing any hiding in sports? Are you? Okay. Or do you know anybody who's hiding in sports? And let's just be honest. If you're a grown man over 18 years old, probably got to stop wearing another man's uniform. Now, by the way, that's one place to hide. And again, I want you to make sure I finish this. I love sports. The minute I start to make money, I want to sit behind home plate. I want to do that. I've been to World Series. I've been to Super Bowls. I've been to NBA Finals. There's a TV to my left with four screens on it.

14:42In fact, I'll show you if I can show it. Everybody see that? There's a TV right there. If you're on audio, it doesn't matter. Four screens on it. The mirror behind me, everybody, turns into a TV. You know what I watch on that? Sports. I love sports. I love cheering. I love celebrating when they hit a home run. But that's it. It's not my self-worth. It's not my dream. It's their dream. And I love watching people make their dreams come true. But I'm under no illusion that my dream's coming true when they hit a home run. You follow what I'm saying? So just full balance. I love sports. I'm a sports fanatic because I played and I wasn't good enough to play at the level that I watch on TV.

15:22And I love greatness. I love watching hard work pay off, all of that kind of stuff. But it does not let me out of my life. I'm living my life. They're living theirs. Hopefully, if you win really big, they'd clap and cheer for you. third place that people hide in their life uh reality tv reality tv and uh i'll put them together slash politics politics has become a bit of reality tv hasn't it and we sort of pick our team and root for them but these reality tv shows we kind of live through their lives oh did you see what she said to her and isn't that just silly can it be entertaining yes if you take it anywhere past that.

16:03You were living in their lives because you're not living yours. You got it? And so this is just something to evaluate. I say this as a friend because remember, all of these things, when I was a young man, by the way, go to the sports thing. I remember when I was a young man, the Red Sox lost to the Mets in the World Series, I believe it's 1986. I must have cried for a week. I thought my life was over. But I was also a 16-year-old boy then. And I've watched games before where I'm throwing things at a TV and I'm like, I don't even play for this team. So I relate to all of that. I have many friends who are on reality television.

16:39I love them, but I don't, I don't think you should be living your life and paying such close attention to their life that you miss paying attention to your life. And are you hiding a bit in their lives because yours isn't interesting enough? You're not challenging yourself. You're not growing. You're not expanding. You're not willing to fail. You're a little bit afraid of not going forward in your life. You just have to be honest. Maybe that's not true for you. But if the shoe fits, it's worth asking yourself, that's why you listen to content like this, right? Politics. I think it's important to be informed.

17:12Know what's going on in the world. Take a stand on things that you believe in to create change in the world, your country, your community, et cetera. And then I think we all know that we can start to take it a little too far, can't we? and we begin to just obsess about these people and what they're doing and what they're saying and who said this press conference today and what said that. These guys are dummies. We're the smart ones. You're the dumb one. I'm blue. You're red. I'm this, blah, blah, blah, blah. And oh my gosh, it becomes an obsession and we wake up and we haven't paid attention to our own lives.

17:43We haven't paid attention to our own dreams, our own emotions. And by the way, many people, including me, can tell you I've gotten so deep into that rabbit hole a few times, it's affected my own mental health, getting so sad or angry or upset. And so do I think it's great to be informed? Yes. Do I think you should take a stand? Do you think you should be well read? Do I think you should speak up when appropriate if you choose to and you're educated about it, you're passionate about it? Absolutely. Do I think you should spend your entire life, unless that's your career, obsessing about it, thinking about it all the time, turning the TV on, spending hours and hours and hours, then your Instagram feed and then your Twitter feed and your TikTok, da, da, da, da, da, da, and all of a sudden it's like, wow, I went on the whole day and didn't focused on my life.

18:23This is pretty convenient, isn't it? I can get mad at this politician or excited about this person. And this is notion of this person's going to change my life. Has any politician ever changed your life? And what is it that you've surrendered control of your entire life to some person you see on TV that they're going to change your life? With all due respect, you need to change your life, right? So it's just, I know this is uncomfortable. I don't want to make I'm not offending anybody, but it's worth looking at yourself. Am I a little bit too far down the road? Am I out over the edge on this stuff?

18:54Am I waiting for them to change my life? Because if you're 30 years old, you've been alive through a whole bunch of these people that told you they were going to change your life. None of them did. Both political parties, right? And so does that mean that you shouldn't have an opinion about Ukraine? Of course you should. Does that mean that you shouldn't be passionate about your position on things in the Middle East or the economy or taxes or life or social issues or civil rights issues. Of course you should. Of course you should. Of course you should. But unless it's your career, should it be all-consuming like it's become for so many, where it actually affects your mental health and the way you look at your fellow Americans if you're in the country, your people in your community?

19:35Worth evaluating, are you doing too much hiding there? Here's a big one. Your kids. Do you hide in your kids? Are you starting to live your life through them? Are you taking their sports a little too seriously, their grades a little too seriously? Is it convenient to spend all of your time projecting your dreams because you're playing small to get them to play big? And are you putting undue pressure on them subconsciously, unconsciously. I've watched a lot of my really good friends who are very successful people and really charging hard and really making a difference. And you can take everything to an extreme.

20:13Should your life be dedicated to your children? Should they be your first priority? Should you sacrifice for your children? One million percent. There's a line there, I think you'd agree though, where you're no longer just sacrificing. You're living vicariously through them. And we hide in our own children or we use our children as an excuse not to go win. And so sacrifice, giving, focus, contribution, love, all-consuming, unconditional love, total support, giving up on some things short-term while your children are a certain age. Love all of it. But there's also a point, like anything, where you are starting to hide there and you have a life as well.

20:52You have dreams as well. And so that's a place to evaluate. And then a couple other places. Alcohol. Drugs. gambling, whatever that might be, a vice. Are you spending too much time in that area where you kind of hide there? You hide in the alcohol, you hide in the drug, you hide in the gambling, you hide in whatever it is. You hide in pornography, you hide in, you know, like I've said earlier, TV or social, but are you hiding in these substances is more the point on this one, the alcohol and drugs. Are you hiding there? Is it an escape for you? Does it become a place you escape to because of pressure or anxiety or fears or just not feeling good about yourself.

21:34Worth evaluating that other place that people hide. I'll give you another place people hide. They hide in their preparation. They're constantly getting ready to do something. I'm preparing. I'm reading. Preparation slash education. I'm going to get this degree. I'm going to get this. I'm preparing myself. There's a point in life where you just have to do it. Like you're not going to be completely prepared, right? But some people tend to hide in their education or their preparation or the event they go to or the book they're reading. I'm getting ready to get ready. I'm getting ready to get ready.

22:03I'm hiding. They hide in the preparation because the preparation looks like work. The preparation is some form of work, but they actually never leave preparation. They never go to execute. They're always being educated. They're always learning. They're always preparing. They're always strategizing, but they never go execute. They hide in the education and the preparation. This is a dream stealer. It's insidious. What's crazy about all these things, if you think about what I've listed, all of them in moderation and the appropriate dose are okay. There's nothing wrong with being, you know, loving a sports team.

22:38There's nothing wrong with looking at your past and evaluating it and taking the lessons from it. There's nothing wrong with, you know, supporting your children. There's all kinds of great things about that. Nothing wrong with really being into politics. There's nothing wrong with watching reality TV as entertainment. There's nothing wrong with preparation. But when we take them to an extent where we begin to hide in it, that's when it's unhealthy. Drugs and alcohol, same thing. If you can drink alcohol in moderation and it's okay for you, great. I do. In fact, there's bottles of alcohol right behind me right now.

23:11But if I start to escape there, and I've got to be honest with you, I said this on a podcast a few weeks ago. I had a little phase there for six weeks. I'm like, am I escaping in this stuff a little bit? Like, this isn't like me. And I had to evaluate it. So I just want you playing your game. I want you playing your big game in your life. You were born to do something great with your life. Some people hide in their spouse. They just support their spouse. That's all. By the way, that's a beautiful thing. It's like anything. But if you just give, if you lose everything in that, everything in that, you know, I don't know that that's healthy.

23:43So the most beautiful thing you can do is support your children, support your spouse. Of course, and to the depth that you do it is probably the type of mother or wife or husband or father you are. You should do this in droves, but we all know when I said earlier that crazy sports parent, you thought of somebody, didn't you? You know who I'm talking about. You thought about this person your kid played soccer with or Little League with. You're like, yeah, they're just a little over the line, and it's unhealthy. When I was talking about the person who's too addicted to politics, you thought about somebody.

24:14When I talked about the person who's too addicted to reality TV, the sports guy. You thought about somebody. So these are real things, yet all of them are some of the great things. We don't hide in bad things. We hide in great things. So we hide in alcohol because it feels good to drink it. We hide in going too deep into politics because we can create change, and so we should. We hide in sports because it's enjoyable. We hide in our past story because we're familiar with it and we can go there. We hide in all of these things. We hide a little bit in our kids because it's so beautiful to support your kids.