The Formula for Explosive Social Media Growth (Stop Trying To Be Perfect)

33:20I'm trying to get like 300, 3 ,500 calories right now. And I'm trying to not eat 3 ,500 because I'm more than double your age. Right. But the same exact thing, you're trying to gain weight. But like, how are you going to get super fit if you're not tracking it? If you're not measuring your body fat as an entrepreneur? I mean, so many entrepreneurs, they don't know their data. They've got no idea how many contacts are, how many leads, what's in the pipeline, what their revenues, what their, and like, it's brilliant to hear that on social, which is your main business. You're a psycho about the metrics and the data.

33:49It's awesome. Dude, I've been someone that's been so focused on like the customer since day one, like how I blew up on social media was not a natural way kind of to blow up. I would say, I feel like I cheated the system and I don't think people are going to be happy to hear this, but what I pretty much did is I had musically, right? I knew this platform, it was easy to grow on, but it was going down in relevancy. So I hired my sister on a 15 % commission-based salary when I was 14 years old. And I was going live on the platform because I found out you can make money on the platform. The other thing I found out was when I went to the leaderboards on the live stream app, they actually showed you a list of the top 250 highest donators.

34:36so the people that donated the most money in a live stream so while i was live every single day i would get my sister to go through all those 250 people tap on their profile follow them on my account she'd be logged into my account she'd follow them like seven of their posts and then unfollow them and swipe off and she went through the entire list so i was going directly to the consumer the highest paying customer because i was i knew that i saw the list so i didn't need to have the most followers on the app i had i think 80 000 followers but i was the highest paid live streamer on the app compared to people that had 7 million 10 million followers because i was going right to the customer and then also had my sister going to the biggest musically like creators going to their comment section because those were the most engaged followers obviously they liked the video and commented and then she would go to all the positive comments the people that loved on that person and follow them on and that like their posts unfollow them and then they would follow me as well so then i was gaining we did two we would do uh until we did it until i would gain 250 followers every day and then i would make sure that i was gaining or i was making minimum 500 a day too so we would go live and she would be going through and following that until i made 500 and then 250 followers every single day minimum and then that grew up to 500 that grew up to a thousand that it just kept going okay all time on the show one of my favorite things ever ever freaking so first off it's incredibly vulnerable and honest yeah people are people are gonna be like josh is a fake social media thing now because i like i think we're a little past you having to worry about that like yeah yeah but but everybody stay on this okay a couple things to unpack there number one a dude with 30 million was literally going back and liking seven a day and getting like that's how you grow how many of you are doing that so my social media teams watching us do this right now they are going crazy because when we started i'm like listen after i make my post every day i want you to go to tony robbins and gary v and tom bill you and grant cardone i want you liking this many of their posts i want you commenting on these they're like that's not going to get us anything i'm like absolutely yes it is and so we would micromanage it so much and still with my team i'm like we need to reply to this many comments we need to like this much other stuff i'm a psycho about it now you listening to this those of you listening Do you do that stuff with competitors, with peers, with people?

36:55Do you comment and like in different people's communities? Are you there consistently? This is how you grow something when it's not just your content. Second thing I just want to say is how many of you, you can't get Josh because he's one of the most famous dudes in the world, but how many of you have a person that thinks like Josh in your life? So for me, when I started, it was my son, Max. He'd do the likes. He edited my podcast. He sort of helped me with content. you gotta have someone in this it's probably your kids guys who's like hey let's go over there right but like you gotta have someone you were that person both the creator and the person doing it right it was you yeah I mean I I was luckily able to do both but my sister was a huge help as well like being able to like hire someone and just be like all right she knew as well she was making money every time she was going through the follow list so she loved to do it too like it helped me a ton and then it's like it didn't just stop there i made sure like like you said on instagram i would comment on like sean mendez photos or justin buchan photo and i would make try to get like a lot of likes on my comment i would try to comment something relatable or funny on under their post and then i would gain followers from that as well like on my instagram and the crazy thing is is like a lot of people would if they ever saw you doing that or caught you doing that right they It would be like, you're a scammy social media kid.

38:14You're like, that's not how you can grow. No one can grow that way. They would call you out on it. They would try to expose you, whatever. I never got caught because I was good at it. And look at where it brought me. Like now I'm all the way up and I'm at the top. Like it took a lot of work and it was like actual work. It wasn't just like hoping a video would blow up. I was like entrepreneurially finding a way to get famous on social media because I knew I could do it. I just knew it would take work. rather awesome freaking awesome like and by the way it does work and it may not blow you up to 30 million followers but it might blow you up by 6 000 it might blow you then right yeah and then 6 000 turns into eight right because then you start like the craziest part about it all is is like once you start getting that traction like once you start building that fan base it just starts growing on its own too so there's obviously a point where i stopped doing that all like after probably two, two years of doing it, like I didn't have to go and like all those posts anymore.

39:14I didn't have to go and follow and unfollow people. I didn't have to go into that donation part and like do that to make money. Like I, I could do it on my own now. And I would get pushed on the app naturally because I was already one of the big creators. Like you just got to do it for a long enough time, work hard enough so that it starts growing on its own. Yeah. And the principle of it is brother is to do things other people aren't willing to do. so exactly this is why it's my one of my favorite things all time said on the show i've had tons of social media people i have the biggest dude i've ever had on because here's actually what i did and so a lot of you post stuff but do you work your social media are you entrepreneurial on your are you creative go to similar pages and like some comments engage with people it's it it what if it was 11 some of you what if it was 11 new followers a month that's a big deal in a lot of so good bro so good let me ask and i'll let you i'll let you in on one more thing people aren't gonna like this people aren't gonna like this but uh so i first started and i did social media like i created my account and i did it for about two months during the summer and then i got bullied in high school and i was used to being like the popular kid i played sports so i was like what what the fuck is going on right now why are people like making fun of me like calling me like like slurs all that and then i quit so i quit for like two three months my account went completely dead inactive and then my one friend was like yo josh why like why would you quit why would you stop doing social media like you were you were doing good why would you let like these stupid high school kids like get in your head right and i was like you know what you have a great point like that's it's dumb so i went onto the app and i swear it was meant to be it was like the craziest thing ever but this was my first investment i would say in my life i saw this guy's account He had 70 ,000 followers and he was quitting.

40:56He was quitting social media and his account was active. He was getting 10 ,000 likes a video. And my account had 20 ,000 followers and was probably getting like 2 ,000 likes. Right. And then it went inactive. So it was down to like a thousand. I DM the kid and I was like, Hey, can I buy your account? And then the guy was like, Oh, I don't know. Like people don't really do that. And I was like, dude, don't worry about it. Like, let me just buy it. I'll switch the username over, whatever. He was like, all right, give me like$600. And this was me like being 400 or 14. Sorry. And I was like, holy cow,$600.

41:26All right. This is like, it's a lot of money. So I sent him the 600 bucks, but that's$600 turned into my 30 million follower account. That's on TikTok today. So that was probably the best investment I've ever made. Like, like the multiple on that investment was crazy. Talk about rate of return on 600 bucks. Yeah, I know. Get entrepreneurial about your social, right? Just do it. 100%. So good. All right. Last question, man. I enjoyed today, brother. Yeah, it's a great combo, man. I got to come on this podcast all the time. I would love to have you on all the time and they would love to have you on here all the time because, guys, listen, you're talking about a young man who's involved in like tons of different businesses and different sectors, different segments.

42:09He's an actor. He's a writer. He's a musician. He's got music with 100 million downloads on one song. Like it starts with having this 14 year old sister start liking stuff. This is what everybody to get. You may not get to 30 million. What if you get to 30 ,000 or 300 ,000 work, your social media, work your brand. It's not just about the content, but I got to tell you when I told family members you were coming on. And so this happened with Bryce too, brother, I got to tell you the amount of influence you have on young people is striking like the responsibility that comes with it so i'm talking about my nieces and nephews and bro i've had some of the most famous people in the world on i say i got josh coming on they're like what you know like and it's a demo that buys it's a demo also though that right now it's kind of a vulnerable demo man there's a lot of people that feel alone their suicide rates are up there there's pressure because there are such successful dudes like you to be successful very young and if you're 23 and you're not you're past your prime you know there's right all of that stuff so i just want to give you the floor i want the parents to hear this and if they have children play this part at least of the show what would you just say to kids like overall advice i give you a microphone which you have every day but now it's not a 15 second video just young people here's some of my counsel to you as a dude you all kind of look to well the first thing is like something that you said there that like I feel very very responsible for is like with power comes responsibility that's something my dad said to me day in and day out every single day as a kid because he always felt that I was going to be something more than just a regular kid so I have that tattooed on my arm like I live by that and just the one thing I want to say to everyone out there is you got to stop comparing yourselves to the people on social media all the time because that is the highlight of people's life like that's what i think people are missing like you post on social media like no one posts on social media now when they look bad which kind of sucks like i remember instagram used to be the most casual thing ever like i would post a picture of my smoothie that i just made right like it didn't need to be this like over edited all that but like everyone tries to compare themselves to these models on instagram or guys might try to compare themselves to the sway boys on instagram whatever you've got to stop doing that because obviously we don't post like the worst photo of ourselves it's just it's strange i think it's i get why people do it they just got to get over that the same thing why i love tiktok though is because it's created this notion where you don't need the quality you don't need the lighting you don't need the like the camera which is awesome so that's why yeah i just love being able to post on there too very good advice brother comparison is a formula.

45:00I did a whole podcast on it for adults and young people. Comparison to people's highlights. Comparison to the best one minute of their day. Comparison to their best lighting. Comparison to your former you. Even compared to a year ago or you at a different moment in your life. It's a thief of bliss. It's a thief of joy. And I could not agree with you more. And I do think it's more pronounced with younger people, but I think it's an epidemic with all people is comparison. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices.

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47:27Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. my guest today is an educator a photographer a blogger she's the host of the unbelievably popular gold digger podcast she's a mother and a wife but even beyond that my favorite thing she's a self-proclaimed mac and cheese lover oh you didn't know i knew yeah i did so this is jenna kutcher everybody thanks for being here thank you i'm so excited i am too getting into business for you started out with like you buy a camera on craigslist or something right is that how all of this starts every bit of it take us through that a little bit so i went to school for business and i kind of i had this idea of success so to me success was a business suit high heels corner office yeah and i used to tell people gosh someday i'm gonna have this corner office and i'm my husband's not gonna work and i'll come home and i'll kick off my high heels and i'll have dinner ready which is so weird because it's not really like a common female vision and so i get into corporate world and i hated it and i was so disappointed that i hated it because where i'm from you get a salary and benefits like you've made it like that is making it and i felt disappointed where i was like i thought it would be better than this and i think it that follows you through everything but um at the time i was planning my wedding with my college sweetheart drew who's my husband and i have always just loved pictures like pictures to me it's just like just brings you right back and says like i'm gonna buy this 300 camera and i'm gonna take pictures while we plan our wedding and long story short i just was passionate again and i feel like the corporate world sucked so much from me and it wasn't a bad company or bad it was it was just not for me i didn't like climbing a ladder that i didn't want to climb i didn't want people telling me what the next level was if i didn't want it and i think i saw people glorifying busy yeah and that was it that was it and so it all started from a camera amazing and that went into like wedding photography and all that one thing i noticed about your instagram page everybody you should check out what is your instagram by the way it's jenna kutcher okay it's easy yeah you should check it out because for men and women particularly women it's beautifully done thank you it looks beautiful when you look at it yeah um is that conscious on your part oh so conscious from what sense so branding to me has always been just so fascinating i mean i analyze logos and typefaces and colors and like if i could if i had any other job like even i was walking in your house and i'm like that arched window yeah you do you probably walk by that a million times a day and never pay attention to it and I pay attention to all of that and so being a photographer the like editorial side of things to me is so important and I want to draw people in because it's pretty but I want them to stay because I'm talking about something so for me I'm analyzing all these little details I was like I want to give Ed feedback on his brand you should um because to me you can attract and repel and a lot of times we just do things because that's how we've always done them but for me everything is intentional what would you give me feedback on oh you want to know why not let's let everybody hear it i want to hear it so when i look up ed my let online and and i understand that it's part of the the vision and the messaging is you're selling a lifestyle yeah but you know what's so different is like you should be selling your heart thank you and the way that you show up the reason why you have the following you do the listeners you do is because of your heart and so i think it gets lost in the lifestyle and for so many people if i watch a demo reel and there's your jet in this home and all that i can't relate yeah i still can't relate to this day i mean we live in this little suburbia place in a home that we're so blessed to own but but a lot of people that follow you they just want to make another thousand dollars yeah they just want 10 hours back with their children and so a lot of times when you level up and i'm feeling this right now i'm feeling this in my life is like you feel this this need for importance and more and and showing these things i mean i'm wearing like target today you know i'm like oh gosh like is ed's wife gonna have designer which she doesn't no um but but you feel this like next thing and what i've realized and i think what the secret is and we'll talk about this i'm sure is is that we need to paint the possibility that our people can understand.

52:10Wow. You know? And so we're painting the possibility that our peers get. They're there. And so sometimes it's like we have to go backwards. And I really felt that a lot when I went from six figures to seven figures. So you're, by the way, I want to first thank you for that. And you're the second person I told you I'm maybe going to be with an agent now. And identical feedback. She goes, I was surprised when I met you. You're like nothing like your brand. And I went, well, then that's a problem with my brand. So I think probably I had an initial brand in the beginning. Yeah. And then I've made all this content.

52:44And I just sort of assume everybody knows that's who I am. And I've not sort of altered the jet house muscle thing. I'll help you. I love this. You know what I mean? So thank you for that. And that is really critical because you've done that. This woman's become a self-made millionaire. But I would say self-made because I've met Drew. He's obviously a huge part of this. He's right upstairs with Christiana now and Conley right now, who you call Coco, right? Your baby. We got so much. There's so much I want to get into about you. I think you're remarkable because, and I pride myself on this too, where you're unique is the breadth of your content.

53:18Jenna's content goes everywhere from how to start a business for$5 ,000 to how to make your Instagram page go right, to mother stuff, to lifestyle. I mean, it's amazing and it's so good. Like your content is so good. so I want to give the gift to people today of a little bit of it so you go from zero to a million dollars a year plus an income and all this stuff what how'd you do this I mean that's a broad question but how did you become you most people listening this would like to grow their following and influence somehow how'd you do it and what would you tell them to start with in doing it so my first thing is is if you have a follower you have influence so I hate the term influencer when anyone uses it i'm like we are all influencers my gosh if you're waiting to start your message so you have 10 000 followers your message should be started now somebody the other day scrolled all the way back to the beginning of my feed yeah it is hilarious really but i've never deleted a thing because i want people to see the transformation but i also want them to see that eight years ago i was talking about the same things i'm talking about today how this all happened is is because and i think that you can relate to this is i i put it all out there i mean i talk about cellulite i talk about wrinkles i mean i talk about this stuff because we're all thinking it and i think it started as a coping mechanism because i was afraid that people would call me out for it so if i say it first it doesn't hurt as bad wow if i say look at i i see my cellulite there i see those extra pounds you can't say that and hurt me but what it's become is a true celebration like i feel better today in my skin in my business in my body in my life because now i own it and like it's me it's it's i trust that but i think over the years i've just i've just shared it all was this intentional because you have this ability to monetize on your in your business and i don't feel like you're monetizing so i know this is sort of an inside baseball type thing here but is that intentional of you did you start out i'm on instagram i'm going to profit from this or it started out in this mode and then just sort of over time turned into a business that you're running so i heard two years ago that the average millionaire has seven revenue streams and i made eight it was every piece of my world is so intentional but I never approached things because of that.

55:55What I think my gift is, is that if I care about something enough to sell it to someone, I'm going to tell it like I would tell a friend. The way that I write, the way that I share emails, the way that I pitch anything to is who really needs this? How do I communicate that? Because I'm doing a disservice if I'm not actually getting through. You know, I'll jump on Instagram live and put on my makeup and talk to people about something I'm selling, but it's because I care. Like, if this is for you, I don't want you to miss this. I genuinely care about that. Today is heavy duty note-taking, because I have a guru and an expert sitting here with me today.

56:39300 million plus views of his content. And if you want to learn flat out, let's just call it what it is. If you want to get more customers, if you want to learn how to create the right content and how to get that content to people, I have the best dude on planet Earth sitting to my right here. So, Billy Jean, thank you. Hey, thank you. Thank you very much for having me. It's long overdue. And the reason that I wanted you here today is that I did some of these things by mistake. And then when I hear you illustrate them, I go, oh, I do that. Some of them I make the mistake of. That's why I'm not more successful.

57:11But like, for example, it's by no mistake that a lot of my videos have a Pacific Ocean behind it. And so I've had these unique environments, right? I try to do something entertaining. I'm certainly trying to do something to educate. But I love what you said about imperfections. Everyone watches like, look, I'm broke or I don't look the right way or I'm in the fitness space, but I'm not yet super fit. Or I'm an entrepreneur, but I'm not yet super wealthy. And they think these imperfections are a hindrance to them posting or a hindrance to them gathering a following. You would say what to them? it's the entire story.

57:44It's the entire reason. Like you don't watch us. You don't watch Game of Thrones to see a successful king, be a king for much longer and have like everything. When people love to see the trials and the tribulations. And so like, for example, the example we gave earlier when we were talking about it is just imagine if here's a quote that I think sums it up. I'm looking forward to the memories of right now. So I just think that all of you are along your journeys. Some of you watching this will create billion dollar companies and you will get someone in a decade from now that will ask you, how the did you do that?

58:28And when you can say, as opposed to telling you, I'm going to demonstrate and just show you everything changes when they get to see the story the other characters and cast that were involved that your family and friends your competitors the times you fell etc that's when you stop building a following and you start building a brand that's when people get obsessed with you and they become raving and they watch everything that they do is because they saw the hardship you guys ever seen a tv show and the first five sec or five seasons were fire but the freaking last two were absolutely absolutely horrible, but you watched it anyway, you were too deep into the story.

59:06You had to see how it ended. It was boring. It wasn't good. So there was new writers. Everything went bad, but it's like, I just got to see what happens now. You stick around. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. And the other thing is this, my crew will tell you this, everybody, by the way, my crew to go back to Billy Jean's earlier point, I just want to illustrate this. All these guys that work for me started to work for free. They're willing to prove themselves. Not enough of you in the entrepreneurial space, as he said earlier, are willing to go out and prove yourself and work for nothing in the beginning to demonstrate how great you are.

59:33And you want to hear what's so weird about that? Because you only see this in entrepreneurship. If all of us are going to be doctors, say we decide to be like open heart surgeons, we understand that it's going to take four years of undergrad, another four years of like, you know, of grad school. We know it's going to be another four years after that of residency. We know to do that, we're going to have to invest and borrow$300 ,000. We know we're going to have to eat Top Ramen and crash with people that we don't want to live with for all of that time. And we understand that. Only in entrepreneurship, we're like, yo, I'm going to buy this one course for 200 bucks and I'm going to be rich in six weeks.

1:00:12So true. Where did the patience go? So true. Like, why do we think we can skip the steps of success in entrepreneurship? It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. But no one says it like that. No one compares it to another career that you might be successful in and that's 100 % true. By the way, the other part of it that's even more crazy is the people who are entrepreneurs who aren't even willing to invest the capital to learn these things and then they think they're going to become successful. It's extreme. Like if you're not investing in programs, you're not investing in advertising, you're not investing in podcasts like this, like you're crazy to think you're going to be successful.

1:00:43And you know why? It's because all the content that we see as entrepreneurs is destination. Meaning when you watch your episode of Shark Tank, all you see is the pitch and then And then two seasons later, you'll see the update of how they made a million bucks. Therefore, you believe that's what the truth is. And as we come up to this next five, 10 years of content, we're going to see more journey and those expectations will change and people will get educated on what it really takes to be an entrepreneur. Like what you said about documenting your journey is brilliant. And it's like, it's my great regret that I sort of built most of my career during a time where I didn't document it because there wasn't such a form.

1:01:16And now my content that's the most engaged with you guys is when I'm documenting. It's the vlogs I do when I go speak at different events. And so people love the documentation journey. I find myself watching people's content, you guys. This is me, who aren't even successful yet. Yeah. But it's just, I'm fast. And I love documentaries on Netflix. Like the number one thing I watch, I love watching, I love reality TV. I love documentaries. I love sports. They're all the same exact thing because they're documenting the journey. So you don't have to be on the other side. The other thing I just want to acknowledge, and I'm going to ask you a question, because this is like some of my favorite stuff we've ever covered on the show, is that your imperfections work.

1:01:50So you know one thing about the show, everybody, and then Billie Jean's going to talk about this. I don't shoot the same video 10 times. And so when I shoot a video that you see, almost every single time, unless I completely screw up, it's one take. They know me around here for doing one take because I'd rather post something with a slight imperfection because I think it engages the audience better. 100%. Because I want the imperfections. I want the real thoughts. I want the interruptions. I want the hesitations because it's those real things that on your content it doesn't have to be the perfect picture with your FaceTime edit and every filter and every word right in your post do you speak to that especially even captions and everything.

1:02:27Big time agree and let's just simplify it all. When people are watching your content well actually let's take a step back before that. entrepreneurs that are watching this. If your customer believes you 100%, they would buy all of your stuff. Accept that truth with me. So for example, if you're a coach that helps people get X, Y, and Z result, if they actually believe that you were the person to get them there, they would give you money every single time. If there was a business coach and I believed I would triple my income as a result of working with them, I would give them money every single time because that's the logical thing to do.

1:03:01So when you're creating your content and when people are stalking you, all we're looking for is one question. can we trust you or are you shady as so we actually care about even when art like you got kids or something like that or you're on tinder or all that stuff when you're stalking someone and you're going back years back to see their pictures and what they do you just want to know can i actually trust them are they not a serial killer so the imperfections are what make people trust you oh my god when someone is so dialed in and they're buttoned up the first thing you say is Ooh, something's off about them.

1:03:33I don't know, just everything, every word was perfect. They seem so rehearsed and they're so polished. Something's off, I can't trust them. Even take our president, but if you like it or not, listen to me, he was the most imperfect candidate that you could ever imagine. He said inappropriate things like that, like whatever. There was a piece of him that everybody related to, which was like, damn, he's not perfect. Okay, let's stay on that just for a second. Cause I wanna agree with what you just said about something. And by the way, it's zero politics here. I have a theory about voting for president because I think when you look at that, it'll actually tell you how your whole business life should work, too.

1:04:08I have two theories. One is the more imperfect person. That's the more real person. What I call vulnerability. I talk about vulnerability. He typically wins. And secondly, the higher energy person. So, so, so. I mean, that you just, you just nailed the second thing. It's a fact. Because if you go back to those of you that are political historian types, go all the way back to Kennedy-Nixon and pair the two candidates against each other and ask yourself, which one was higher energy? Higher energy. Kennedy or Nixon? Kennedy. You can go all the way through, all the way through Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, Reagan-Mondale, go all through all of it.

1:04:42Bill Clinton and whoever, George Bush's dad, you can go through all of it. George W. Bush, how did George, because he got to run against, no offense, but he ran against Al Gore and John Kerry, slightly higher energy than those guys. Barack Obama, John McCain, higher energy guy, right? Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, higher energy, right? And quite frankly, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, higher energy wins, and the more real person wins in every single election. I started seeing TV commercials for Facebook like three or four years ago, and they were advertising this one thing. It was called Facebook Live, which a lot of people are familiar with now.

1:05:15You click a button, now you're live broadcasting. him. So what Trump's administration did is every single city that he was campaigning in, they went Facebook live. Really? Hillary wasn't. And this is, this is here. Like if you look at the difference of reaching more people, people like statistically. So what would happen is let's say Hillary's at a rally. She's reaching, you know, 10 ,000 people in the room. Donald's same place or different place. 10 ,000 people in a room. He's Facebook live. Wow. That 10 ,000 turned into 3 million. Wow. She lost by default. There was no, she was outreaching people.

1:05:47He was outreaching people in so many ways. People don't realize that the difference was Facebook Live. I don't care what any historian says, everything, from a marketing standpoint. If you look, the difference was Facebook Live. It reached more people. Wow, that's brilliant. And by the way, you can go back even, you can talk about this stuff matters. You can look at this. You can go to this page. Go look at them. And obviously, a lot of you know that Barack Obama's history. When Barack Obama was people, people did not know who he was. When he was just running on the Democratic side, it was his utilization of social media that got him to go right past Hillary Clinton when he ended up winning the nomination, then ultimately the presidency too.

1:06:15The point is, how's this transferred to you? Energy matters in creating content. Energy is influence. And obviously utilizing these different forums. And also imperfections are a value to you, not a negative. And I'll throw a third one. Okay. Trends and timing. Okay. So for example, like you said, Barack, he came on just when social media got going. Trump, he leveraged Facebook Live right when it first got going. Right now, you guys, that same thing, that shift, that paradigm shift is happening with video. The people who own video, the people who realize video is not going anywhere and that in three to five to maybe seven years, every single company will have a videographer in-house just like they do a salesperson.

1:06:59The person who owns that the fastest and goes all in on it, you will crush your competition. Oh boy, that's huge. It's real. Listen, that's real, everybody. Did you hear that? The faster you just accept that truth, you're ahead of the curve. You have to be documenting the journey. You've got to have been a videographer. Rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door, expertly cleaned and folded. So you could take the time once spent folding and sorting and waiting to finally pursue a whole new version of you. Like tea time you. Mmm. Or this tea time you. Or even this tea time you. So did you hear about Dave?

1:07:34Or even tea time, tea time, tea time you. Mmm. So update on Dave. It's up to you. We'll take the laundry. Rinse. It's time to be great. When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at goodtoknowfacts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit goodtoknowfacts.org. Very short intermission here, folks.

1:08:17I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Bethany Frankel, good to finally have you here. Thank you so much for having me. What about someone listening to this, and so they're not on The Real Housewives, But now social media is an individual's reality show if they choose it to be. And for me, I was I was a successful entrepreneur way before social media. But I feel like business lately is no longer who, you know, but it's more who knows you. A lot of it is who knows you.

1:08:49And for me, unbelievable of opportunities have come my way because I decided to get you use the word attention and intention in the book. but I've intentionally paid my attention to expanding my call it my notoriety, my expansion of people hearing about me. It makes all my businesses operate much easier. Do you agree? Yeah, but via what? Because the publicists are all social media and are you spending money on it? Yeah, my Instagram's got, you know, I've got two and a half million followers on Instagram. I've got 10 million total. My podcast is a top five podcast. But I in seven years ago, I literally had no accounts.

1:09:30I didn't. Wow, that's crazy. And so you spent did you spend a lot of money on that or not as much? No, none. Like I had my son was my guy. But what I did is I made I think there's a few ways to get big on social ones to be entertaining. And another way is to be valuable. And I knew a lot. So I was valuable in the beginning. I gave great content for free. Stuff that other people charged for. Right. But my point, and this isn't about me necessarily, but my point, I think what I'm asking you is, and this is, you know, you're one of the most, let's just take the last 10 years. You're one of the more iconic brands of a female entrepreneur slash entertainment person.

1:10:12I don't even know what that means, but you know what I mean. No, I do. I know because I get because there aren't that many women in business that are also humorous and entertaining that are, you know, you could be entertaining while also being intelligent about business. And I'm finding because of all the offers I get for TV shows and different opportunities in the business space, there aren't that many women to go to. Yeah. And by the way, opportunities keep coming your way, even if you haven't been successful at every single one of them. You had a talk show you talked publicly about. I didn't like doing it.

1:10:41It didn't work. Bam, now you got another show. You got a best-selling book. And I have to believe, I know you are because you went to L.A. and then you were on Saved by the Bell, like you were working on that show. Are you intentional about Bethany Inc., her notoriety, her brand, and would you say to a young woman right now who's listening to this, goes, I'm going to have a, I'm like the two ladies that were on your show with Kevin. I'm going to create a cookie business, a baking business. Would part of your advice be go build your brand also? I just don't think that way because, yes, and you have thought that way, and it doesn't mean there's a right or a wrong.

1:11:21I go from the inside out, not the outside in. So the way you just described it is like build your brand. That's very big. The way I came up, there was no word brand. There was no word entrepreneur. I wasn't an entrepreneur. I liked healthy food, so I went to school for food and healing and became a natural food chef. I liked pashminas. Sorry, I found a pashmina. I liked it and saw a hole in the market. So I ended up selling them, you know, hundreds of thousands. I go from the inside out. But that's not that it's right. I sit on Instagram by accident looking at blush and then say, oh, wait, there the people are listening.

1:11:56I drink a drink, talk about it. And then here, wait, the people are like, I feel the connection. It's like two people. You're rubbing two sticks together unintentionally like whoa that that was something so for me i realize what's resonating and what's true to me they have to they have to align so if i'm talking about what's going on with um my medical health and saying i'm so sick of people preaching about non or vaccine or everything being political or if i decide to say a rant on balenciaga that's part of my brand in that i'm a person who's known to be truthful, like me or hate me. So that translates into the beauty.

1:12:36It means you're being truthful about products and it translates into on television, the Kevin O 'Leary and people's businesses. So my brand ultimately is truth and just straight up, no chaser. But I didn't decide to make that. It's just what's authentically inside me. And then I decide, decide that we have to protect the realm and align with that. So no, I'm not doing that opportunity and I'm not talking about that because it doesn't align with who I am and it's who I am and then who I've also mandated with everybody around me that we have to stay to be don't don't stray and if you're going to stray you're mentioning this is an outlier and sometimes I don't even know it's an outlier I grew up at the racetrack and I posted something about giraffe kings and I was like trolled and I thought wait a second people spend money on plastic surgery and whatever, but they can't on gambling.

1:13:24Like my audience doesn't want to see that. So I'll either not do that again because I don't want because I understand their perspective. Or I say this is my this is where the rubber meets the road between us. Why do you do all this, Bethany? You interest me so much because I read how you grew up. And then I'm like, so did she become an entrepreneur? Because she just wanted to be like independent and free because you didn't start as an entrepreneur. You started out with like with jobs. But like, no, I didn't want to be an entrepreneur. I didn't know there was such a thing to be an entrepreneur.

1:13:55I totally overshot the mark. I. That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't have any plans, ironically. I wanted to cook on television. I wanted to be on the Food Network. And the head of the Food Network at the time said to me, it will never happen. so then the housewives showed up and i was you know baking cookies and doing all my stuff and and i didn't want to do it at first and then i thought it's not that easy to get on television and i could promote being a natural food chef i wanted to be some sort of an entertainer be myself i had no idea that i would be an entrepreneur not even close but if i look back i thought about all the jobs i had and all the money i made uh you know not a lot of money i I just mean the different things that I did from selling pashminas to doing events.

1:14:38So if you look back, it sounds entrepreneurial, but I never wanted to be an entrepreneur. Don't be humble. What's your special? What is what is don't be humble? What is what is your thing? What is what is your special? Is it your grind? Is it your personality? Is it your intensity? Is it your I miss nothing? I miss nothing. You can't. I miss not. I don't I don't I don't miss. I don't like I don't forget. I don't, I'm on it. I'm juggling 7 ,000 things in my head. I've kept capturing them all. I don't stop thinking, which is not fun for me. I mean, I make sleep a discipline and I do it and I do relax and I do vacation, but my brain, it's very hard for me to take it down.

1:15:22And that's the discipline that I have to have. Like Kevin loves being like running around, doing this, doing that, be here, be that, traveling more. That's not good for me. I would be good at that, but that's not good for me. so I value the taking it down a notch but yeah I'm not it's like I'd be great Gordon Gekko money never sleeps I don't want to be that and I don't want that life but like you know if money never sleeps then I'm in you know then I'm in the right business are you happy um yeah I'm really I think peace is happiness and I'm very at peace right now yes I am happy so it's been I asked this Has anyone ever said to you, no, I'm not happy when you've asked that question?

1:16:01They've hesitated. Yeah, they've hesitated. And I've had some people, I mean, even if you ask me that, it would depend on the week you asked me. And I have a blessed life. I've, you know, I've got beautiful children. I've been married to a girl I went to high school with. I've got hundreds of millions of dollars. My health is great. I should be happy every day, but I'm not. And I get asked often if it was worth it. like you know I wasn't in clubs I didn't travel a lot I sacrificed a lot of things to probably even my health to some extent I'm not saying you have to do those things to win in fact I now know you don't have to but I've had a lot of nights I didn't sleep just like you I've had a lot of waking up with stress I've had a lot of that and I I'm curious with you I'm thrilled to hear that you're happy that's wonderful well I it's the discipline I talked about I have had higher highs and lower lows but I don't even like the higher highs because it's just it's activation and I'm I'm I can sometimes be bored in my life because of the discipline of it and because I'm a very much ironically an introvert I don't like to go out of my I don't like to leave my house.

1:17:14I really don't. Unless I have to be somewhere. I don't just like go out to lunch or just like walk around dressed up in the day. It's just not who I am. So for me, happiness is that balance and that peace and that not the drastic highs and the lows, which I'm used to from growing up in a very crazy household and life. So that is the whole thing I was saying with the discipline about the sleep and the peace and the health and the, you know, I'm, yeah, of course, let's go Let's go on that trip. It sounds great. Let's book that trip. And then you get there and then you've done three trips and you're exhausted and you're stripped.

1:17:47I'm trying to avoid that overall in my whole life, the roller coaster. Do you have a ton of confidence? And if you do, how'd you build it? I do have a ton of confidence. Yeah, I see that. It's not arrogance. They're not the same. I'm not arrogant. I'm confident. And I don't know. It's upsetting and it's such a waste for people to not be because it's based on something inside of their head, their psyche, their emotions. And it's, I know because I have noise about different things, but not about confidence, like about, am I good enough? Can I get that? I just like plow through everything, just like walk into it.

1:18:30Oh, I didn't, you know, walk through the liquor business when it was back then all about men, like walk through, didn't even know it was all about men, didn't realize it was run by men, marketed to men, no idea. Boom. Um, podcast space. Never listened to a podcast in my life. To this day, walk in, put the microphone on. I think, you know, I'll be decent at this. Boom. Three podcast. I just walk through. If you stop, if you think when you stop and you hesitate, that's a lack of confidence and that will get you stuck. What's going to happen? You know, I say to my daughter, she wanted to meet friends this summer and, you know, she doesn't go to camp and there was a girl on the beach and I was frustrated that she wouldn't walk up to her.

1:19:08And I said, listen, let's just play this thing out. because she said, I want to go to the beach and meet a friend. I said, you walk up. She says, you're disgusting. I never want to see you again. I don't want you to ever come up to me. I hope I never run into you again. She says that. What happened? You didn't know her. You lost nothing. You never see her again. You don't know who, like, there's nothing. You don't walk up, you know, but what happens if she wants to be your best friend? She's the best friend for the rest of your life. You know, you didn't walk up to her. Nothing, definitely nothing's going to happen if you just sit and don't walk up to her.

1:19:37See, I love that. You have this thing. I want you to talk about this for a minute because we're not going to have a lot of time left. But I just think you're so I don't think you realize how profound some of the things are that you think and do. Like you're like, yeah, of course I do. But that's not normal. That's why we're talking to each other. Right. And I don't think that I love when people that have great things about them kind of aren't aware of it. And I think most times when you're really great at something, you're like, it's no big deal because it's something you already own. but you do have that and you say some brilliant things in your book like i just want to acknowledge you because like you know famous person i'll crank out this book no it's a good book thank you and there's one little nuance in the book that i'll say it my way but then i want you to say it your way which will be better which is that like i'm a preparation freak like i know a lot about you right i worked hard to get ready for this thing today which i appreciate which i by the way i had a very famous person recently interviewing and didn't know like the basic, like the most recent basic thing.

1:20:39Like literally it was probably like, Oh, how's it doing the housewives? It's like, yeah. Hello. Yeah. I know. I know what you mean. When I get interviewed, I feel like the highest form of respect is that they they've prepared, even if they're not a very good interviewer. They made a mistake, but it's sometimes they like, I'll sometimes prepare and I'll say, Oh, you have a sister named Joanne or like somehow it was printed wrong in the article they at least know that you've done the research you've done the digging yet at the same time i think people take that to an extreme because then they use lack of preparedness to take lack of action and in the book you're kind of like hey trust the process a little bit but also like i don't there's been almost nothing i've ever done that i've won at i was completely prepared for but i've been willing to step into the unknown and kind of have that internal confidence of I'll figure it out when I get there.

1:21:32I'll figure it out when I get there. The businesses I built, podcasting, for example, literally when I set my social media up, I told my son to set me up. I swear to you on anything. I said, you need to get me one of these InstaFace accounts. I literally even know what they were. I didn't even know what I was talking about. I'm like, I'm willing to kind of get in, get me in the room. Well, no, you know, something's going on that happened to me with tick tock before those two girls that have all the followers charlie damillia and the other one yeah i was saying to my social media person i i like i would be good on tick tock i think that would be good and she said it's for eight to 13 year olds don't bother and i always regretted not pushing that because it was a gut thing yeah i you know and get and um gary v the one who told me at that time that was going to be the whole thing i didn't even know what he's talking about and you know that's a lesson too to not be like oh who cares i don't know what that is you gotta investigate but you don't need to be completely prepared you're saying in your business life like have you known every when you got into the liquor business you didn't know everything did you even know where the buyer was going to come from did you have any idea where you're going to be I didn't know what no no no I literally was walking my dog from my studio apartment I had this lawyer that was like literally not he was a lawyer but I don't know what kind he probably was a veterinarian on the side too he was a very inexpensive lawyer that's all I could afford and i was doing this deal with this guy now my deals are so complicated the deal with the guy was like one day an agent wrote it up and a lawyer looked at it and he said to me we have to talk do you want this to be licensing or equity yeah i said what i don't know what that means what do those two things mean he said licensing is you get them start getting money now equity is you know you have more risk but it's your thing i said wait so that's like more skin in the game he said yes I said, OK, this is my ace in the hole.

1:23:20This idea. I want that one. I want that thing. I didn't. But I've always been good at concepts. So he explained to me what the two things were. So I'm like, OK, now I understand the concept. So lawyer man, do it that way. And the same thing happened when I was negotiating with being global. I the biggest, smartest thing, the biggest thing I ever did in business was to say, wait a minute, you want to buy skinny girl. but you're a liquor company and skinny girl could be everything it could be lip gloss it could be jeans it could be sunglasses it could be popcorn it could be dressing it could be all these things so they said no we're paying all this money we want to own the brand i said why like because gray goose never did jeans or any of this other stuff it's just a name owned by a liquor company and all they can do with it is liquor so i said why would you don't need the other stuff you'll have to you'll have to trust me as a partner that i'm not going to exploit these other categories and ruin your brand, but I'll have to trust you as a partner that you're not going to ruin the brand and destroy what I want to build.

1:24:17So that was a concept. So I didn't have to know anything to know that. It was just like an idea in my head. So then you go and, you know, listen to all the experts and crowdsource information, and then you sign the dotted line and you make the decision. Never knew anything about anything I do. Wow, that blows my mind, and it makes it more impressive to me. Nothing, not a book, not a podcast, not a TV show, not in anything. that and i'm like and i do tons of deals and have amazing ideas and i'm running circles around people but nothing knew nothing about any of this stuff didn't pay attention in college so do you me either by the way uh how does that change your perspective on successful people so for me i this is really powerful i actually hope this becomes one of the clips what we're i'm about to ask you because i'm really interested in your your feedback on this i really thought by the way there are brilliant people in the world no question about it there are there are people that are literally brilliant we i am not one of them nor am i and um by the way you're making me feel better you know i'm just kidding i could see that about you it only takes about four minutes to figure it out but what has surprised me overall is neither are most of the people in other words most people that i've met that are successful on the surface impressed me less yet as i got to know them i was more impressed because they won with just average abilities and skills.

1:25:41And so take someone in that's, I'm picturing like a young woman or man listening to this right now. They're 25, they're 30 years old. That's still young to me. And they're like, I'm intimidated. And I think this is a huge factor. I'm intimidated to get into that room to make a deal. I'm intimidated, afraid to start a business, even have a conversation. I don't know anything either. These people are smart. I have found mark's an exception i think mark actually is a brilliant cuban you mentioned cuban very very smart he's a very very smart guy but i think in a different way barbara's been on my show as well and i mean this i barbara's one being she's a very smart woman but i i don't i don't even think barbara would tell you that she's got it she's she's not she didn't win because of intellect Right.

1:26:30She she won because of hard work and timing. It's all different. Yeah. No, Mark is extremely smart, but also very well read. Like he does a lot of research. He knows what the hell he's talking about. I got to tell you, Kevin's I was walking in thinking the way that you think about Kevin, that he's smart, he's successful. Kevin's really I'm shocked by how smart he is. He's really smart in the right way. Is he smart or is he experienced after 30 or 40 years of being a business? Yes, both. But I think Mark's a little of that. But yes, it's a different story. But yeah, but the way that someone's mind, listen, Kevin's no spring chicken.

1:27:09He's there. It's not the same as Shark Tank. This show is us in there. Ten hours, brains fried. And him just, it's being on. It's not just experience. It's being on and quick. Kevin is like that. Mark is like that. I am like that. I can't say, I can't name five other people like that. Okay, but I do. And I think what you just said is really important. I think one of the six, I've never said this out loud in my life. I think one of the successful traits in people is their ability at some point to process information to make decisions more quickly. Exactly. Decisiveness. Decisiveness. Do you agree with that?

1:27:43100%. That's. I'm not decisive about. I will be in the. I only sweat the small stuff about like a purse or spaghetti or what are we eating or what are we doing? Where are we going? What's the hotel? Like that is that's muck. but in like real two seconds me too i feel like this that's i i actually think take an nfl quarterback like what makes them better their ability to process information faster and call a shot because they're playing chess and checkers at the same exact time and i think that's business i actually think that's life like and i also tell me if you agree with this i'm okay if i didn't even make the right decision because i'm just going to execute my plan whatever it is even if it's a flawed plan so aggressively by the way yes that's what you said earlier that i forgot to respond to is that when you're failing and when you, you know, winning, when things are hard, when you're at your low, that's when you learn everything.

1:28:31Cause that's when it's like, you've got that car and you, you've got a loose horse or whatever the analogy is. And you have got to like hold the steering wheel, but not too tight. Cause you're going to blow it all up and not too loose where you're walking away. You got to steer. Like that's how a person like deals with an, a cancellation crisis. Like how do you deal with that? Like, and you will learn so much and if you treat it like a gift which it is then that's where all the gold is that's where all the gems of a successful person are in that time when it's like the rubber meeting the road that's when you will learn everything so people have to pay more attention to that stuff sometimes i don't want it to happen but when that's when i get awake and like lit and like strategic and really combat mode very good what do you what what surprised you about doing the show with these entrepreneurs is there a common line i mean the one i watched they were three different episodes very different businesses but is there you wouldn't live for the show there are some there are people a hundred something million dollar businesses that are like not knowing what to do and also when we first sat down i mean i didn't know what they should do like you got to get granular and think about it and pull the taffy and then it came clear every time for some reason and we never weren't totally resolved and didn't give a great verdict.

1:29:48I think it'll be interesting to hear what the people say on the other side. I think in most cases, they'll be thrilled. Unlike Shark Tank, which is a different show where they're like pissed they didn't get an investment or something. I think they'll mostly be happy. What have I learned? That it's case law. That the more, you know, all business is case law. You do something one time, it works. You have that in your tool chest. Oh, you do something, part of that, that failed or was just not the best, that's part of your tool chest. Now take yourself on to the next one. Case law. Remember that happened and the other thing happened.

1:30:20Let's do that this way. So the more deals you're making to your point about Kevin, the more interactions you're having with different types of people, the more business negotiations and weird tentacles and little deal points that come up that are so weird in contracts that you deal with. It's case law. So you keep taking that with you and that's how you become older and wiser. That's why there's the college debate. And that's why I think if you're not going to get a master's or, you know, your MBA or be a doctor. I'm not I'm not pro-college for the for the debt and all that I'm really not. I've moved there.

1:30:55It's funny you say that because I've moved there lately and both my kids are in college right now. And they know that I feel so I'm glad they're there. They're both flourishing. But it also could be purgatory. Sometimes you might not think your kids are ready or you want a place to put them. You're not ready to jam them right into life. Yeah. But but more and more, I'm with you. You walk out of there with a couple hundred grand of debt or just get into business and start something or get a job and learn something that you could start a business on. I have a remarkable soul to share with all of you today.

1:31:21And I've been following this woman's journey for a long time. We were just talking. We have so many mutual friends. She's really the all time, I think, most decorated adaptive snowboarder of all time. She's an unbelievable speaker. Oprah Winfrey calls her basically the most inspirational person on the planet. She's toured with Oprah Winfrey. And oh, by the way, when she was 19 years old, she lost both of her legs from below her knees. And so there's a lot to talk about. Oh, should have won Dancing with the Stars with my boy Derek Hough. That was a robbery, but she was runner up there. So Amy Purdy, welcome to the show today.

1:31:55Thanks for being here. Thank you so much, Ed. You're so remarkable because you've built this really amazing entrepreneur side of your life also. And you've built a brand. And I feel like maybe one of the keys to your brand is your authenticity and vulnerability. But is there anything you would give advice on to maybe an aspiring entrepreneur or an entrepreneur who's like, I want to be better at building my brand. But I just feel like a lot of people just think, I don't really have anything. I didn't lose my legs before, you know, below the knee. So who really wants to pay attention to me? Obviously, we want to pay attention to you because your story is so compelling.

1:32:29My story is not that compelling. And they discount themselves. What would you say about building brands as an entrepreneur? more? I mean, I think, you know, the more you know yourself, the more you'll be able to build your brand where other people believe in it. Right. So you do have to know your story. And I believe we all have stories, you know, it doesn't have to be a story like mine. I mean, we all have things we've learned along the way. Like, what is it that makes you, you, and what is it that makes you want to put this brand or this product into the world? So the more, you know, that story, I think for me, I connect with people who are authentic, authentically share their journey and their story and their passion.

1:33:08You know, it's very easy to share something outside of yourself. And I have to check myself at times too. You know, I can sell something outside of myself, but it doesn't always sell, right? But you're so much better at not selling, but at sharing your journey, bringing people into your life. And I think that that's when your product or your brand shines, really. So I think storytelling is key. I mean, these days with social media, you know, there's everybody's selling something, right? But the ones who really sell you on it are the ones who can relate, who can say, this is why this is so helpful.

1:33:44And this is what it's done for my life. And I can show you that, you know? And so I just think it's important to know the story, your story, and believe that your story is valid. Believe me, I didn't even think mine was. I mean, everything I've gone through, I would think, why am I being asked to stand on stage and talk to Fortune 500 companies? Clearly, they're successful. Clearly, they know what they're doing. Why are they asking me? I don't know anything more than they do. But what it comes down to is knowing my truth, right? Knowing what's helped me. And that's what's actually built my career is just knowing my perspective matters and your perspective matters.

1:34:24And so I think we have to kind of dig into ourselves a little bit and not try to sell something outside of ourselves, but have it authentically come from our experiences. And that's what people relate to. Like people do relate to vulnerability. You know, we don't relate to success. Not everybody is going to stand on a podium and have medals around their neck or, you know, be massively successful like you are, Ed. So I feel like what we do relate to is, but how, like, but how do you get there? Right. And that's what we all want to know. And, and so when it comes to your own brand and business, it has a story and you just have to figure out what that story is and be willing to actually go there, you know, to connect on that vulnerable level so that you can really help people.

1:35:14I mean, I'd imagine that's, that's what every entrepreneur wants is to make an impact. And so it has to be authentic to you. Yeah. Huge takeaway is storytelling. Like that guys, like that's a gold nugget. That's just massive. Is that just beginning to at least be intentional about telling a story, a story about your life, your product, the journey, the difference you could make. Maybe it's not even you. Maybe it's a story of what your product or service did for another person, but exactly. We're so right about that, that the best people that build brands, by the way, even my best friends, what many of them, you'll be will always say, well, you friends with all these comics and comedians.

1:35:49They're just great storytellers. They are. I just love to be around people who can tell a story, right? And the more you're intentional about that all the time, that's the world we currently live in. That's why reality TV works so well right now. That's why social media works. The best politicians are the best storytellers. It's just like, can you tell a story? Now, finishing question here, by the way, follow Amy on everything. Okay. So just, you guys already get this. So, and by the way, when we do this, it's Amy Purdy girl, but it's P-U-R-D-Y, for those of you that might not know, a girl is also has the G in it.

1:36:21Okay. So go everywhere and get her stuff. I, I don't fully endorse her. I'm telling you to go do this. Okay. And we also have millions of people praying for you, but this idea of these stories is the last thing I wanted to finish with. Like this just flowed really well, but we tell ourselves stories about our past. And sometimes we repeat these stories. And I think one of the most detrimental things you could do if you're trying to make a change in your life right now is in any way comparing where you currently are. There's comparisons, terrible comparing to other people. But one thing we do to really harm ourselves is we sometimes compare ourselves to what we used to have or we used to be.

1:36:57So even a relationship you're currently in, if it's in the 10th year, comparing it to the sixth month, isn't fair to the 10th year. It's not as, as new and as exciting and comparing it then isn't fair comparing yourself. And so I picture this beautiful soul that you are. And you said that both times with the new situation, the other one, but particularly the first time where you lost, you know, below the knee, you looking down and your feet are gone. And immediately, instead of looking at what was there before and comparing, you began to look at the next story and visualize the next story. That's so profound.

1:37:35What advice would you give or counsel to someone who's saying, all right, things were better before for me in any way, shape or form, right? They were better before. And I am, my let's write, Ed's write, I am sort of beating myself up and comparing to another place or time. What would you say? How do I get out of this? How do I create a change? Because I do keep looking at maybe it was a little bit better before. What would you say in conclusion to those people? I mean, so first of all, you know, be gentle on yourself because I think we all feel that way. There's, especially when something drastically happens.

1:38:07You're like, yesterday I was here and today I'm here. Like, how did this happen? It was so much better yesterday. Um, but I also think that, you know, we have to embrace the moment that is, that is the key to life, right? Be in the moment what's happening right now. Yesterday was like an era. What an amazing era that was, right? I did this and this and things were great. Now I'm in this era. And so you're not losing anything, you know, you lived it. I didn't lose, you know, yeah, maybe I lost my legs, but it's like, you know, I didn't lose who I was. I lived a certain life and now I'm stepping into this new era and we're going to have these new parts of ourselves and new stories and new complete realities as we move forward.

1:38:49So it is very important to be in the moment. And one thing that really helped me when I lost my legs and when I was laying in that hospital bed and saw myself snowboarding, I had this feeling and I asked myself this question, if my life was a book and I was the author, how would I want my story to go? And the reason I asked that question is I thought, you know, I am not a victim to this. It's not like, okay, I lost my legs, lost my kidneys. My life is over. No, I refuse that. I refuse that. So if I had control over what my life would look like, what would that be? And allow yourself to daydream.

1:39:30Literally allow yourself to go there. Don't shut it down. We shut ourselves down so quick before we even get started, right? We go, oh, I can't visualize myself doing great things because I don't even know how I'm going to get there. Forget the how, right? Just allow yourself to ask that question. Like if you, if your whole life was a book, you were the author, how would you want the rest of the story to go? And for me, I saw myself walking gracefully, helping other people. I saw myself snowboarding. I didn't know how I was going to do any of this. I even saw myself speaking before I knew there was even, you know, a speaking circuit, but I felt it.

1:40:05I saw, I was like, I wanted to tell people, everything's going to be okay. It's like, no matter what circumstances you're facing, it will all make sense in the end. So just go on the journey, but you also have, you know, your co-creator of it too is so like, know that you can control to a degree where you go from here and allow yourself to visualize that and feel it and believe it. And you'll be surprised where you go. I know I have been. This is the End Mylon Show. We'll be right back.