The Secrets of a CIA Spy Will Transform Your Everyday Life - Andrew Bustamante

27:49When you control the environment and the asset or the target sitting across from you is a captive audience, when you control their environment, that's the only time you can rely on micro expressions. When they can just walk away, when you're talking to somebody on the street or in the office or at the, at the water cooler, at the coffee shop, if they have freedom of movement, all that micro expression stuff goes out the window because they don't feel under imminent threat. You have to put somebody in a confined environment where they feel the pressure of an imminent threat in order for their body to work against them like that.

28:25So that doesn't work. That doesn't work. So instead, what the agency teaches us to do in the field, because CIA operates outside of interrogation rooms. We operate on the street. We operate in the trenches, you know, in the caves with terrorists. We need to deal with people on their home turf, which is really much more akin to everyday life. So what you're looking for, for lie detection or deception in everyday life is you're looking for what's known as a baseline and then a deviation from that baseline. So let me give you an example, right? You know your dentist. You see your dentist probably every six months or so.

29:05And you've gotten a cadence over the last two or three cleanings for what their mood generally looks like. You already know, you'd be able to tell if you sat down in the chair, your dentist came in and they were in a bad mood because it's a deviation from their baseline. You can apply the same thing to people who are trying to buy from you, people who are trying to sell to you, people who are trying to gain equity in your business or people who are trying to borrow or lend from you, you need to measure them over time to see what is baseline behavior. They normally twitch. They're normally late.

29:38They normally talk fast. They're normally nervous. They're normally quiet. Whatever normal baseline is, you'll see that over time. Even if it's just over 60 minutes or so, because you do need an extended period of time to get a baseline. 10 minutes, not enough time to get a baseline. Somebody can fake it for 10 minutes. It's hard for somebody to fake it for 60 minutes. That takes a lot of energy. So once you have a baseline, now you're looking for deviations from that baseline. So when you're talking to somebody, when you're buying a car and you're negotiating a price and they've been smooth talking the whole time, and then you throw at them that you want 15 % off the MSRP.

30:15And then they're like, the smooth talking ends. And they struggle to respond. And then they respond with something like, I don't think we can make that work. that's just too much. That's a lie. Because it was a deviation from baseline. If right away, they would have been like, oh, you know, I understand that 15 % off is something you're looking for. But that is outside of the norm for our for our dealership. Chances are that's, that's the truth. Because it was very normal. It was within baseline. But when you see people deviate from baseline, that's the best way to tell whether or not they're lying to you in a moment.

30:50Or the reverse, right? If there's somebody who struggles to answer questions, all of a sudden, and you ask something, they pop right out. That's a deviation from their normal processing pattern. They're probably lying because they were ready for the objection to, okay, I got you. You said imminent threat earlier. I always wanted to ask you this. I've had good buddies of mine that have been on that are SEALs and whatnot. And one of the parts that I didn't know about the CIA, but I've learned through researching about you, was that you guys do go through training on if you find yourself in an interrogation or torture situation.

31:19and I'm wondering what if anything somebody can apply in their own day-to-day life that you learn there meaning this in our own minds and I'm not equating these things at all but you know exactly I mean the world is caving in on us I just lost my job my spouse left me both those things happen whatever it is I'm going through my own form of internal torture and I don't mean to equate the things. I just, I'm trying to delineate a lesson learned from the most extreme situation that we can apply in a less extreme situation in our lives. So what, what can be learned from what you learned about going through interrogation or torture that someone could apply in their own life in their own somehow small way when they're going through their form of mental torture or anxiety or worry?

32:06So there, there are two really powerful tools that we learned in our resistance training and resistance is what you're talking about. Resisting the fear of torture. Because oftentimes when you're trying to forcefully interrogate somebody, it's the fear of the unknown that makes them fall apart. It's not actually when they're getting slapped or getting punched. It's when they're sitting in the chair and they don't know what's coming next. And that's what really gets into your head. And that's part of the psychedelic or the psychological manifestation of torture in advance of physical torture. And that's exactly what you're saying, Ed.

32:42When you say that the world is caving in upon us, you can relate to the person who's sitting in the chair before the torture starts, where they're like, oh, what's coming next? The world is collapsing. I have no control. I don't know what's going to happen. That's that feeling. So the two main tools that they gave us to cope with that sort of situation, and I have used these countless times in my own business, man, because business is a wild rodeo of the world. The first is something called false dichotomy. False dichotomy. False dichotomy means you create a two scenario situation, right? False dichotomy, yes or no, on or off, red or green.

33:24You create a dichotomy. You force yourself to believe there's only two options. Even though there's countless options, you force yourself to believe two very fundamental options. Let me give you an example from business. I remember when I was first starting out, when I first quit my full time job, when I first started being full time with my own company, Everyday Spy, I knew that to keep my family afloat, I needed$4 ,000 a month to keep my family afloat. But I didn't know every month if I was going to make$4 ,000 a month. Some months I made$2 ,000, some months I made$10 ,000. I never knew where it was going to come from.

34:01So it would cause me great stress and I would lose sleep at night and I would wring my hands and I would worry about, am I going to even, am I going to have to go find a job? Am I going to crash this business before it even takes off? So I applied this false dichotomy where I would tell myself it's either going to live or it's going to die. That's it. The business is going to live or it's going to die, period. Once I said, those are the two options. I had no control over those options. I didn't need to stay up at night worrying about, is this thing going to sell? Is that thing going to sell? Am I going to get this client?

34:36Is that client going to leave me? All of the what ifs went away because it's either going to live or it's going to die the end. And that is something that we use all the time in the field because there's countless what ifs. But if you focus yourself on a basic dichotomy, it shuts all those voices off. Very good. It's funny. In my life, the things I've really feared and worried about were the unknown. I handled them very poorly internally. My anxiety, my heart rate, my stress level. What's most amazing to me is when the really bad things have actually happened, I've handled them very well. That's what's bizarre.

35:15And so to your point about the worrying of the unknown is so totally true because I'm processing all these scenarios, but actually when really bad things have happened last night inside story i have a lighter for um my cigars and uh i put the butane in it incorrectly where it like i didn't realize it but it got all over the lighter and i went to this is true everybody this just happened last night i went to light my lighter and it caught me on fire and actually you can't tell today but i burned part of my hair and and like you know i'm i don't know what i'm doing you can't just pour water on the flame and this is really and i after it happened the two boys were here i said i'm my heart rate didn't move a millimeter like not a millimeter i just reacted it ended up being okay and they're like dad your hair's on fire i'm like really okay and i put the but the point that i'm making it i'm fine i don't even have any burns it wasn't that serious my point is my heart rate's gone ballistically higher on things that have never happened in my life that are nowhere near as serious because of the unknown aspect of it so this dichotomy thing i'm like stealing that tomorrow bro.

36:21That's that is killer. Is that why also I'm surprised a CIA guy would say this, or maybe I'm wrong that you didn't say it. So correct me if I'm wrong, that anxiety is actually a superpower for someone. Correct. Yeah. That, that is true. How's that true? It's true in a number of ways and nobody talks about it because people don't understand it. Right. So anxiety, true anxiety, which is different than the anxiety that is tied to worry or the anxiety that's tied to the unknown, right? Like 25 % of Americans suffer from anxiety. The people who truly have anxiety know everybody else doesn't really know what it feels like.

36:58Okay. Because real anxiety comes from when you don't even know what it is that you're upset about. Like that's the true anxiety. When something festers in your gut and you don't even know what's bothering you because it's almost on a sixth sense kind of a level. Yeah. And there's still a large number of people who have that, But it's not the person like when I get worried about payroll at the end of the month, that's not anxiety. OK. Right. But when I'm sitting there and I'm like, something doesn't feel right and I can't sleep and it's nagging at me and my stomach feels bad and I've got all this nervous energy and I'm just off off center.

37:34there are a number of people who suffer that anxiety, a number of very high performing people who suffer from anxiety, because what's happening is cognitively, your brain is picking up on cues that your prefrontal cortex can't register. So it's almost like your monkey brain, your animalistic brain is seeing a threat that your cognitive brain cannot identify yet. And that threat is being processed in the deeper parts of your brain. And it's manifesting physiologically in your body. Now, when you hear about what is actually causing anxiety, you start to see why it's a superpower because it's like a Spidey sense.

38:11Spider-Man doesn't even have to see what's going to happen before he knows that something's about to happen. And as a result of that Spidey sense, Ed, what happens is you naturally become more cognitively aware of the world around you. So your monkey brain turns on your frontal brain, your human brain to a higher level. So now those are the people who are better at forecasting bad events, better at forecasting good events. They're easier at flipping between perception and perspective because their brains have been pressure tested, inoculated over time with the stress of feeling anxiety. And for that reason, it causes the lay person, the average person with anxiety struggles in life because they don't know how to turn this perceived weakness into a power.

39:03It's really good. Or what CIA does, CIA recruits us because we have anxiety. Really? And then teaches us how to tap into it and use it for what its purpose is. Really? And that's what makes them. You're telling me that that's a criteria that is looked for, somebody with anxiety. That is a category that is an inherent skill, an innate skill, that when it's identified, it's dovetailed into very specific job categories. Got you. Do you believe that, I didn't know I was going to ask you this today, do you believe that you can cross a line with anxiety or worry, and I understand the distinction between the two now that I didn't before, where, because I am one of those people, as are a lot of my mega successful friends.

39:44however i've wondered in my life because i also believe in vibrational frequency and energy and uh i'm also a christian but i do believe in that and i've wondered if i've created uh or drawn to me things i've subconsciously worried about or had anxiety about in my life that i otherwise would not have had come into my world had i not repetitively thought about it do you believe in any of that? And if so, do you think that someone should guard against that if they're one of these worriers or anxiety people? So what I am not a person who, who tends to believe in much, I tend to take objective fact.

40:22I take objective facts and I try to synthesize it into knowledge that I can then use predictably. And what I've seen in my clients, as well as what you're saying right now about yourself and your own peer group has been really consistent. What What I believe is happening is where people write books about vibrations and the law of attraction, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Maybe that's true. Maybe. But here's what I do know. I know that people who have a heightened sensitivity that causes them anxiety, those are people who have greater informational awareness of what's happening in the world around them.

41:00Because they have that greater informational awareness, they start preparing now for something that may not happen for another six months. And then when the thing happens in six months, they know how to deal with it. You just said it yourself a few minutes ago, Ed, when really bad things have happened, you've handled them really well. For me, that's not a surprise. For me, that's because if you tell me that you struggle with anxiety and you tell me that you deal with bad situations well, it's because subconsciously you've been preparing for that bad situation for a long time. So then when it actually happened, you already had a a process kind of in your brain for how to deal with it.

41:39Whereas the average person who does not have anxiety, who does not prepare for a negative event, who is not even aware that things, bad things are happening around them. Their monkey brain is working against them. Yeah. So then when bad happens, they literally are deer in the headlights. I bet you don't have many deer in the headlights moments. Yeah, I don't. By the way, this is such a great conversation, brother, but you know, I don't. I've always wondered those two things. Like I definitely am a fearful, worrying guy and I also have anxiety and I understand the difference yet. Maybe a lot of you relate to this that are listening yet when crunch times come, you get it done.

42:15I'm pretty calm and I execute. And that's really a fascinating description of why I am both of those people, what you just said. So if you think about it, right, if 25 % of the American population has clinical anxiety, which means some psychologist is giving them a drug to make them feel better. You and I now know it's not really 25 % of the population that has true anxiety. It's more like 12 to 15 % that have true anxiety. And if you get your hands on those 12 to 15 % and you put them in your business and you put them in your executive team and you put them in your national security infrastructure, those people are going to deal with emergencies better than anyone else.

42:59And guess what? The only thing guaranteed in life, man, is the unknown. Yeah. So they might lose sleep. They might not eat well. They might gain weight. They might become reclusive. They might self-destruct by the age of 60. You don't know. But what you do know is that when the hits the fan, that person has got your back and they're going to be unflappable in that moment of of terror where other people will shut down, quit, give up or get rolled over. Yeah. One of the most cool things ever covered on the show right now. By the way, if you're a parent listening to this and you've got a child who's got like real anxiety, like the real one, you want to let them watch this because their future is brighter than they think.

43:38Their future is so bright, man. My wife, my wife is a former CIA officer, just like me. We met at CIA. She's amazing. She's a badass. She has anxiety. And her anxiety drives her to stay at home and her anxiety drives her to like be an introvert and just kind of stay away from the world where I put myself out there in the world. But I put myself out there to tell you that if you think I'm smart and if you think I'm impressive and if you think I'm helpful, she is 10x me in every way because her anxiety has made her so much of a better fit for all of those tasks. And the reason that our company still stands and continues to grow at an awesome rate is because when hits the fan, I have somebody who I can tap on the shoulder and say, I don't know what to do right now.

44:23And she's like, I got you. We got this. You guys, have you ever heard this before? Because I've never heard this before. And it's, uh, first off at my age and people I'm just picturing in my life right now, it's completely true, by the way. Other people I know, it's completely accurate. It's totally true. what's the uh i'm watching you talk you're interesting because you obviously have this very fascinating background um your iq is very high you process information super quickly but you're also like and i'm not just i'm just you're you're a great communicator all these things are obvious to the people listening or watching what you're persuasive what is a major mistake people make thinking they're being persuasive but they're really not tough question Yeah, you know, it's a great question.

45:10People often misunderstand what persuasion really is, especially when they confuse persuasion and influence, right? Two very different things. Because persuasion has to do with the current moment and it has to do with creating emotional momentum. That's what makes you persuasive. If you can get somebody on an emotional drive, an emotional driver in the present moment, you can persuade them to take the action you want them to take. And CIA is very, very focused on creating officers who can persuade in the field under pressure. Because we don't, I mean, we're not meeting with nice people in the world.

45:52We're meeting with terrorists and drug dealers and human traffickers and, and the scum of the universe, right? That's that, those are the people who have the secrets that we need. So those are the people we have to sit across the table from, break bread and share coffee. That's where we operate. So we have to get, in order to get those people to take an action, especially an action that's not in their best interest, like espionage, you have to get them on an emotional tempo that gets them to agree with what you're saying. So that's persuasion. Influence is what happens when you're not even around and they're reflecting on what you said and they're digesting the relationship you have with them, right?

46:35Right now, you and I are on this call, Ed. And if I'm getting you to agree with me, there's some persuasive energy there. But two hours from now, when you're having lunch and you grab that fork and you stick it in your salad and you're like, that conversation, I'm still thinking about this topic. That's influence. dude so good so good i'm just when i do shows i'm a little bit different like i process stuff in real time nothing's sort of organized when i go and um that's the difference between a great show and an okay show there are there are times where it's five hours later and i'm still processing the person said so they weren't just persuasive they were influential so so good can you tell Tell us, I want to go back to the spy thing.

47:18You had some involvement with like a nuclear missile officer experience, right? What the heck is that like? What can you tell us about it? And what did you learn from it? Oh, my gosh. I learned a lot about myself, man. I learned a lot about the world. So when I was with the, before CIA recruited me, I was with the U.S. Air Force. and I was a U.S. Air Force officer and I was assigned to a nuclear missile squadron as a nuclear missile control officer, which is, if anybody speaks military, my Air Force specialty code was 13 Sierra. That was my job, was a nuclear missile officer. And that is the job that sits underground.

47:59That is the job that programs in the coordinates for where your nuclear warheads are going to land. I was in command and when I was underground, when I started my military career, I had 10 nuclear missiles. Each missile had 10 individual warheads on them. So there were a hundred warheads that I knew where those warheads would go if I pressed a button and turned a key. By the time I left the military and got recruited to CIA, I had been promoted to be the youngest commander for the entire missile base. So I had four squadrons and each of those squadrons had 40 missiles and each of those missiles had 10 warheads.

48:34So you're talking about thousands of independently targetable warheads. So the biggest thing I learned, Ed, the biggest thing I learned is that every single one of us is replaceable. Every one of us is replaceable. And I learned that because even in the missile structure, when preparing for all-out nuclear war, you can't have a single point of failure. So the keys that I wear around my neck will launch my missile. but they will also launch the missile of every other capsule in my squadron. So when I turn my key and you don't turn your key, if we're in the same squadron, it doesn't matter. Your missiles will launch because I turned my key.

49:18We don't even need you. Vice versa. If I'm taking a dump when all that nuclear missile war hits and I can't turn my key, but you turn your key, my missiles are gone. So I'm just a backup and you're just a backup. And both of us back each other up, but we also aren't the single point of failure because there's also a command host that can turn the keys for all the squadrons. And then there's an aircraft that can fly overhead that can turn the keys for every squadron and every missile base all across the United States. So we are all backups to a backup to a backup to a backup. And I remember how that struck me when I first started that job.

50:01I was like, oh, I must be important and I must be well trained because I've got nuclear missiles that I'm responsible for. Until the time that I became the base commander and I was like, none of these people matter because I can launch all their missiles with the turn of my own key. And if I get shot, an airplane can launch for me. But it humbled me. It humbled me because anything I'm doing, you know, I am very aware every day that while I live in a business niche, that's really just me. There isn't another former CIA officer teaching CIA skills that break barriers in everyday life. There's nobody.

50:34That's not going to last forever. Sure. Someday a competitor will emerge. Someday multiple competitors will emerge. And thank God I had that missile experience because now I am very aware that even when I could take my foot off the throttle, I keep pushing forward because the day is coming. I am replaceable. And I need to get as much of a head start today as possible because when the day comes that a threat arises, the only advantage I'm going to have that day is my head start. so good by the way his organization is called everyday spy you guys you can already tell the type of content you learn is not uh well here's why i like it one it's different and two it's from real world application in an environment that pushes the theories to their extreme truth because of the nature in which he's the environment he learned these things in let me ask you this last question first i want to tell you one thing i've really enjoyed today really enjoyed today and it went by very quickly and i would i don't always say this but i'd love to have you come back on next year.

51:34Always wait a year, but I'd love to have you come back on because I have a million other things I'd like to ask you. But I want to ask you this. My children are here on my island with me now, and they're away often. I'm not with them, and someday hopefully I'll have grandkids. And I'm just wondering, as a man who was in the CIA, involved in the nuclear program, whatever you want to call it, it's way above my pay grade. If we knew what you knew, if us all listening to this knew what you knew about intelligence around the world and how the government really operates internally and the border across everything in the world would we feel safer than we all feel day to day in our ignorant situation or would we feel much less safe and more concerned the short answer is that you would feel much less safe you would feel much more concerned and you would lose a lot more sleep.

52:26But I try not to focus on that. That may be the fact of it, but I try not to focus on that because instead what we get the opportunity to do is look at the world around us, in the United States especially, look at the world around us and appreciate what we have today. Because it really could be gone in a matter of days. If we went the direction that some of these other countries have gone, look at Venezuela. Less than 50 years ago, Venezuela was a version of the United States. And now it is a disaster. Look at Israel and Palestine right now. Right. Look at what's happened with the historic locations in Ukraine.

53:07Right. The world that we have built around ourselves as Americans in the United States, in the Western countries, that is a world that is always just a few degrees away from totally toppling over. And because democracy is such an experiment where authoritarianism has been around for a long time, democracy is always going through these uncomfortable shifts. So sometimes the economy is good. Sometimes the economy is bad. Sometimes we like our leadership. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes the court system seems sound. Sometimes the court system seems corrupt because we're still figuring it out. Right.

53:46It's it's it's back to being that adolescent conversation again. But are you going to stay here? And if you don't stay here, let's say five years from now, you're going to stay in the United States. And if you don't, where would you go? I mean, it's a big it's a great big conversation we can have any time, Ed. but I plan to leave the United States. I plan to leave the United States before 2030. I plan to take my children, my wife, my business and everything overseas. Some of the countries on my short list, I'm looking at Spain, Portugal, Costa Rica, Armenia, Australia, New Zealand, because what I see in all of those countries is a level of stability and a level of favoritism towards American citizens.

54:32And unfortunately, what that means is that as our country goes through its struggles, your children and my children will have fewer opportunities in the country where we're from. But if we take our children and our citizenship, our passport, our US dollars to another country that is stable, our children will have exponentially more opportunities in that country than they do here. Right? Just think about trying to get your kids into college or trying to get your kids registered for summer soccer, right? Like sometimes it's so difficult, even though you have built this amazing life, the bureaucracy and the structure of it all makes it so that you can't get anything done.

55:12But if you go to a place that's just a little bit more like politically stable and a little bit more economically flexible, now you can get basically anything done because your status and your influence matters more there. I hope you're wrong. I remain optimistic that it's just amazing that I'm sitting here at a time in my life where someone is suggesting that Costa Rica or Spain could be a more stable political environment than the United States. That's just a stark deviation from what I grew up at least ignorantly thinking or maybe accurately thinking. So I hope you're wrong. I remain optimistic.

55:48I'm going to have you back on. We ought to extrapolate that conversation a little bit more deeply. and but I appreciate the honesty and the candor from your perspective very much so I hope I'm wrong too Ed trust me I hope I am wrong too but for me probabilities wise I've got to consider all the options I understand that's why I asked you the question hey guys this is a great ride today you are welcome and I want you to share this show with anybody you can go check out everyday spy that is also his Instagram handle as well and you guys just share the show fastest growing show in the world because you guys share it because of compelling conversations like today with Andrew.

56:22Thanks everybody. God bless. This is the Ed Myland Show.