The Silent Epidemic We Can't Ignore

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1:04This is the Ed Myerich Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. Thank you for being here. You know, I don't take it for granted that you watch and listen as much as so many of you do and refer the show. And I'm very, very grateful for that. This week, I want to talk to you about something that's very, very important. And I'll share some personal things as well. But I want to discuss this week, really in a personal way, mental health and brain health. And just the growing challenge that I see in the world today, including a little bit with myself, on people feeling some form of depression. Give you some statistics.

1:39More people will die by suicide in the United States this year than have ever in the history of the country. Among people 15 to 24 years old in the United States, the leading cause of death right now is accidents. but now suicide is surpassing homicide, cancer, etc. In Australia, the number one cause of death of people 15 to 24 years old is now suicide. The percentage of U.S. adults who report being diagnosed with some form of depression is now near 30 % of all adults. 53 % of the people that participated in that same study said they have sought some sort of mental health counseling from a professional.

2:18And more than 21 million Americans reported last year having a major depressive episode. Just think about that for a second. The total number of teenagers has gone up 59 % that admit to having suicidal thoughts from 2007 to 2017. And so we're in an epidemic. And the reason I share these statistics with you is I want you to call your friends and I want you to check on them. And I want you to do it more often. And I would just ask you even to call people maybe that you haven't talked to in a while. If there's ever on your heart to check in on somebody, answer that call. I feel so concerned about what I'm seeing in terms of people's well-being.

2:58And I guess maybe the reason that I'm willing to share a little bit of this week with you is because I've even noticed in myself the last few years, myself having more difficulty with bouts of depression, recently even some dark thoughts. And obviously I've had some physical health issues. And so as a consequence of that, I'm not quite as physical as I was. And one of my big keys of my mental health has always been my physical well-being. But I've struggled recently with just being my best mentally, I guess is probably the kindest way to say it. And I think to myself, if somebody in my situation who's got all the tools and resources in the world in terms of the things I teach about the brain and physiology and reading and gratitude and all the different strategies I have with the reticular activating system and brain health.

3:44And I have access to the best medical care and the best doctors. And I've got a life that's got so many different blessings in it. And I'm struggling with it to some extent. Imagine people that have real problems and real difficulties and real challenges. And so I would just ask you to just step back for a second. And if we could all just be a little bit more kind to one another. You know, the convergence of social media and all the feeding, and now we're in this peak political season where it's us against them and this against that and red against blue and all of the divisive negative nature.

4:18No one gets elected, it seems, to office anymore with, you know, what they want to do. It's all who's the bad guy and who's the bad woman. And then all of the strife in the world that you're seeing that's so real about the things going on in the Middle East and Ukraine and the Sudan and all the things that aren't being reported. And you could just feel it, can't you? So no wonder so many people are struggling mentally, yet life is such a blessing. It's such a gift. It's such a remarkable miracle that we're all here. And I think oftentimes when you're having bouts of depression, you can feel like it's a form of weakness in you.

4:59And I had, you know, several people, people ask me all the time, Ed, who are your favorite guests? And I could never pick one guest over the other, but you know, one of the people that's my, one of my favorite guests ever, they always think, is it the most famous actor or the most famous comedian or athlete you've had on? And although I love having well-known people on the show, I, I really have this thing in my heart where I want to move it to more topic specific things. Other people can, I can have any famous person I want pretty much on the show now, but, and that's great for downloads. That's great for, Hey, he had this.

5:28And if you get that person, you can get somebody else. But the depth of conversation with people that are experts in a field that may not be famous means something to me. And I've had great experts on, on mental health and brain health. And, but two of my favorite guests I've ever had, and I don't rank them, but we'll probably be two of the people that you wouldn't know as well. And, and one of them was a lady named Kayla Stockline. She was on many, many years ago. She had no social media of following at all. But I knew her from a church that I went to and she had a husband. She has little boys at home.

6:02Her husband was a pastor of a church and he died by suicide. And I had her on not too long after it happened. And we had a very emotional conversation about the damage that was done in her family and what the signs were leading up for him and her sons and the damage that was done there and how they still ask for their daddy as he's still coming home and how she felt emotionally and how it affected or didn't affect her faith. And it was just a beautiful conversation. And the reason I say that was one of my favorite ones is I literally believe we didn't just change lives on that show. We saved lives on that show.

6:38And sometimes, you know, we all wear masks. And so some people, it's very obvious that they're going through a difficult time in their brain or mental health, but some people are great at covering it up, are great at putting on the right face, saying the right things. And so it's not a matter of, in my opinion, just calling somebody. It's go a little deeper. Let them know that if you ever do need something, I'm here. You can call me, please. And to let them know that it's not a weakness if they're feeling something. It could literally be something in their neurochemistry. It could be an imbalance.

7:09It could be this is they're actually really going through a difficult time. And what they're worrying and fearing about is real. And they're trying to process it. It could be a combination of diet and nutrition and brain chemistry and difficult times. It could be a combination of all kinds of different things. And so it's, it's, that's why we always need to be checking on one another, why we always need to be kind and extend grace to the people that we love in our lives and, and to strangers and on social media, before you type that thing in someone's comments, just think for a second about what you're saying and what it says about you that you're saying it and what it would say about you that if you said something kind and uplifting.

7:52And I just want to implore everybody today that we're in a time in our culture where so many people are in a spot where they don't feel great about themselves or their lives, or they've created these patterns of worry and fear. And if I can go through that, where, you know, I, in my own life, think to myself, this is such a week, what is wrong with me. I have all these great things happening in my life. I, I, I'm not even somebody who's ever used drugs or alcohol to any great extent, but you know, I just noticed I'd had a few more drinks than I normally would. And I'm thinking, why, why would I do that?

8:31And I'd ask myself just because it's summertime and I had another drink or is, am I like, what am I doing here? And I would just say to you that I want to be transparent with you and say that I'm fine, but I, I'm someone who's very positive and optimistic and speak all over the world and bring light to people and create content. And if I'm having a little bit of a struggle, imagine someone who's having a hard time paying their bills or they've lost a child or they've lost a relationship, whatever it might be, you know, check on them and check on those that it doesn't seem like anything's wrong.

9:08It's important. And the reason I have this show is to change people's lives. The reason I have the show is to give you the tools and the resources and the inspiration and a community to be in to live your best life and to max out your life and all of those things. But the real reason is that we become the highest and best expression of ourselves. I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. It drives the people around me crazy. I always want to grow. I always want to get better. I always want to give more, learn more, create more, think more, write more, post these types of things. But I have noticed that as the last I've been on, I haven't posted on social media in many months because of my health.

9:48My doctors, you all know, recommended that. I've noticed that I feel better not being on there. I'm not subjected to all of the drama and the noise and the vitriol. It's been like a detox almost for me. It's almost like a fast from toxicity. And that doesn't mean that everything on social media is that way. I feel like the stuff I've posted the last eight years elevates and lifts people up, but there's a mixture. You know that. And so my message to you today is to know that, you know, don't just listen to what people are saying, watch them closely, switch the lens in your life from the lens of seeing them through your eyes and switch the lens and see their life from their eyes.

10:30See how they see you. I had, you know, a really profound experience very recently where I've been writing about this and I'll be actually maybe putting it in my next book, but with all the people in my life, you know, you see them through your eyes, through your lens that you've interacted with them. And I started to just change when I'm with them or I think about them, I changed to their lens. What have they seen from me? What have they experienced from me? What were their last 10 or 12 interactions with me? How many times did I walk in a room and not acknowledge them or not be kind or be brief or not listen deeply or whatever it was.

11:02And I felt there's a lot I could improve. there's a lot I could change. There were a bunch of people that I hadn't called in a while. I just texted them to check in. You know what you do? You text them. All right. I checked the box. I checked the box. I don't think this is a time in our relationships and our culture, especially right now to just check the box. This is a time to go deeper. This is a time to be more connected. If you can do it in person, do it in person. If you can't do that, do a zoom, you know, have a, have a happy hour or something where you have your glass of wine together through zoom.

11:33You know, if you can't do that, you know, you know, call them. It's not just a text. If you can't do any of that, at least do the text, but the more you can connect, how are you look them in the eye? If you can, I love you. I miss you. I'm here for you. If you need anything, you're loved, you're appreciated. You're amazing. You're great. Tell them about them, you know, let them know why you love them and what's great about them and do it regularly, I can tell you that we're good at hiding it. And, you know, the last say six months to a year, I'm still pumping people up. I'm still traveling and speaking.

12:09I'm still doing the show. I'm still helping people who are struggling in my personal life. And I don't think anybody would know only those. In fact, I don't think anybody would really know. And yet I know that my friends who have called me say, Hey man, you doing all right? You know, you know, sometimes the person who's pouring into everybody else's cup still needs to be poured into. And when they do that, it makes a difference. And when I feel connected and bonded to people that love and care about me, it matters. And you need to do more of you'll feel better about you. I would also say that if you're one of these people that are struggling with fear, anxiety, worry, all the way up to depression, all the way, way up to some dark thoughts, all the way to suicidal ideations, that you're loved.

13:03You're amazing. You will get through this. I want to share something with you. I had a young man on my show who Kevin Heise, he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. I want to share this with you. You can go see the podcast. He jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to die by suicide and he lived. It's an amazing story. And the whole story is amazing. You can go see the podcast about it. But I always wanted to ask somebody who survived a suicide attempt like that, what were you thinking? And let me tell you what he said to me. I asked him when you were running and you went to jump and he jumped off the bridge, I asked him, I said, right when you jumped, what was your first thought?

13:45And you know what it was? Any of you thinking about doing this in that moment, he jumped and you can go see the podcast, but he said, my first thought was, oh my God, what have I done? Immediate regret because he was plummeting to his death. Immediate regret because that had just changed his state. It would change the environment, of change his perspective because he was in this loop. Oh my God, what have I done? And don't ever do it. You will regret it. If you don't know that you'll regret it, go watch my podcast with Kayla Stockline and you'll see what it would do to your family, the people that you love, the damage that you would leave to the people, your parents, your sisters, your brothers, your aunts, your uncles, your friends, your children, your grandchildren, whoever it is, don't ever do it.

14:31Get help. That there's a better day coming. times will change this is a blessing and a miracle think about the time the earth existed when you weren't alive and then the time that you will be and then the time the earth will exist when you're not you're here for just a flicker it's a blessing and a gift and although there are difficult times there are better times coming i'm speaking to you and me at the same time and so if there's 21 million people just in the United States who are having depressive episodes right now. And mainly over half the people say they've had some form of depression, fear, worry, anxiety.

15:14Now, having said all of that, part of life is dealing with adversity. Part of life is dealing with difficult times. Part of life is bouncing back when you get knocked down, getting up, right? Part of life is all of that. Life isn't sunshine and rainbows. There's always going to be things coming. If you're a leader, you know, uh, this great saying I've been getting from John Maxwell, if you're leading a family or leading a company, you're probably not going to have two good days in a row, right? If you're doing something great, you're probably not going to have two good days in a row. I accept all of that.

15:41That's different than, you know, I can describe it like this, that in, in my case recently, it's like, I just can't get my arms around it. You know what I mean? I can't get a grip on it. I, I can't, you know what I'm saying? And that's how somebody feels like I can't. And I do now, I just want you all to know I'm good. But when I say this to you, because you've got a friend, I guarantee you right now, you have a friend who's in a real dark spot and they're probably not going to tell you. And they're covering it up really well. And the only way you're going to know is by regularly communicating with them.

16:13And by the way, they may never tell you, but your call repeatedly, your in-person meeting, your hug, your words of affirmation to them, pull them out of it, and you will never know they were ever in it. That's the thing. The work you do with people in your life, they may never tell you, hey, I was in a dark spot. You got me out of it, but you may never know that. They may never even remember how they got out of it or even know why. That doesn't matter because you don't need credit. What you need is to live the highest expression of yourself. What you need is to care about these people and love these people that are close to you in your life.

16:51It's to do the same thing. If you could spread more kindness when you're in a restaurant to the server or a flight attendant on an airplane or anybody, your dentist, the person who does your dry cleaning. If you could just say, I'm going to be a vessel for good. There's this great song by Brandon Lake that I love called Pour Me Out and talks about being a vessel of love and a vessel of faith. And I love that song because I really believe when you feel the most helpless in life, If you get help full, you will feel less helpless. And like anything in life, our mental health, our physical health, you know, I've had people on the show that have said, Ed, it's really not mental health, it's brain health.

17:29And so there's a spectrum of things. Like I've experienced just worry and fear and anxiety. It's sort of a pattern of mine most of my life. I'm very familiar with it. And that's okay. It's just, I'm familiar with it. And many of you are as well. But that can escalate to depression. and wherever you are on the spectrum. See, for some of you, the spectrum you're on is you just need a really good hug and some time with your boys or some times with your girls, or you need someone to call and tell you they love you and they believe in you. For some of you, it's reconnecting with your scriptures and your faith life and just reminding yourself of why all this is happening, and a great connection.

18:08For some of you, it's moving your body physically. It's looking at your diet and your nutrition. For some of you, it's past that, and it should be some therapy. And for some of you, it's neurochemical and there may be medication that you need. There's a spectrum of this stuff. And I think it's being honest about where you are on that spectrum currently. And so there's nothing wrong with if you need to move past just connection with some friends and you need to go to therapy. That's a okay thing, right? And if you're really in a pinch looking at your diet and nutrition, are you deficient somewhere?

18:43And if it is past that, and I believe there's a space for it. I don't believe it's a big space. I don't believe most people probably need medication, but some people do. Some people do. And so if it's that, then it's that. And so please get the care you need where you're at. And obviously, I think it's important, in my opinion, to start, if you haven't already, with the end of the spectrum that involves nutrition and exercise and gratitude and all those daily practices that can change us, particularly physiology, particularly walking, particularly physical exercise and lifting. I'm a huge believer in that.

19:23I'm a huge believer in lifting weights, but I'm also a huge believer, contrary to one clip on a podcast one time where we were talking about muscle health and walking. Walking is great exercise. Walking is something you can absolutely do for your mental health. It's a major part of my routine. I recommend it on 30 podcasts. My dad did it. This is his main form of exercise, particularly when he was in chemotherapy. So if it's that, but it may move past that to where therapy is important for you. Okay. Go to therapy if you need it. talk to somebody, talk to friends, talk to loved ones. And if that doesn't work, talk to a professional.

19:56And then for a percentage of people, it's brain chemistry, it's brain health, and you need medication. And so it's not something I think most people need, but there are people who need it. And if you've broken your leg, you need surgery. And if there's something broken neurochemistry wise for you right now, and you need medication to help with it, that's okay too. And so I'm certainly not qualified to tell you who that is. I don't believe it's a big percentage of people, but it is. And I have friends who that medication has changed and saved their lives, changed and saved their lives. And so absolutely that's an option at a certain level on that spectrum.

20:31Does that make sense? This podcast is great for me. The dip for the work that I get to do, my speaking, my businesses, my coaching, it's great for me because I'm being poured out. Now, every once in a while, those, those of you though, that are always the one pouring out, you need to be poured into. You need to allow people to love you. You need to allow people to believe in you. You need to allow yourself a break of time. You need to allow yourself to go to a great church and just be poured into, or a great concert, or go to a comedy club, or take that walk we're talking about, but allow yourself to be poured back into again.

21:07And if you do that, I really believe that you will change so many other people's lives and probably save some people's lives. And so today's message is just really, really simple. People are hurting. Be a vessel for good. Be a vessel for healing. And you're capable and you're qualified. Remember this. If you've ever been through any pain, I say this so often, you're most qualified in life to help the person or people that you used to be. And so if you've ever been in a dark spot yourself, you're immensely qualified to help somebody hurting. If you've ever worried, if you've ever had fears, if you've ever had anxiety, if you've ever been let down or hurt, You're qualified to help people who have had anxiety, worry, fears that have been let down and hurt.

21:47You're qualified. It's kind of why we're here. We're here to experience this life. And when we get through something to help those that are going through a similar experience. And that's why those of you that are really down right now, you got to get through this. You can't just get through this for you. But when you get through this, you're going to be able to help so many other people who are going through something similar. In fact, maybe that's why you're going through it. maybe that's why you're going through it is that this test becomes a testimony it truly can and that this experience you're going through is qualifying you to help some other precious person with their version of it later and so if you are going through it keep fighting ask for help be around good people there is somebody who loves you and if you don't have anybody in your life Whatever your faith practice is, I can promise you this.

22:38God loves you. You were made in his image and likeness. Whatever your faith is, there is something and someone out there. Now, mine is, I'm a Christian, you know that. But whatever your practice is, you're here for a reason. You were born to do something great with your life. There's a purpose to you. And although it may not feel like it right now, or maybe you feel disqualified because you've made this mistake, you've hurt this other person, you've had a bankruptcy, a divorce, a failure. or you've made a huge mistake in your life. I got all that stuff. You're human. Give yourself some grace because I can promise you God will give you that grace.

23:13So just extend it to yourself. It'll be okay. You're not disqualified. It's not too late. It's not so bad that you can't get out of it. I promise you there's always a way. And so that's just my message this week. My message is people are hurting. Let's be a collective vessel for good healing, contribution, and love in the world and reach out to those people in your life that you think are good or that you think may not be. Those that you're very close to and those that maybe you haven't talked to in a while, but your heart's telling you you should reach out to them. Do that this week. Okay, everybody, God bless you.

23:45Max out.