The Simple 3-Step System to Solve Almost Any Problem | Ed Mylett

25:24And I think there's so much angst and anxiety in our culture right now. So many people listening to this are watching it right now. what would you say to them that are experiencing those emotions right now what advice would you give them they got to turn off the news i know that sounds overly simplistic but you got to at least turn it off a little bit so you can get a breath because unfortunately today it's hard to turn it off since it follows you i mean most people have seen the social dilemma they understand that literally you are being tracked in every single thing you speak say do and everything you're going to see and it's different if you type in global warming and you're one person you're a complete different set of answers than if you type in global person of warming and you're another person so we're living in a world where it's hard to find truth and so the first place you got to realize is you can't control out the outside world you can influence it but we can't control the inside world and if you get yourself overwhelmed it's because all this is coming at you you got to slow it down stop it and say now what am i going to create out of this insanity because that's the great thing that happens i know it sounds you know optimistic or and i think you know me well enough.

26:26I'm not one of those positive thinkers. I've never been. I believe in intelligence. I believe in seeing things as they are, but not worse than it is. So you don't try, but then you got to see it better than it is, or you can't make it better. And then you got to go to work and get the right strategies to make it happen. So for me, it's really slow it down. And everyone needs a compelling future. What do I mean by that? Anybody can deal with a tough today if they have a compelling tomorrow. But what's happened is there are a large number of people that after the first run of 2020, we were coming into January.

26:55And I remember that and people are like, all right, now it's a new world. It's a new life. It's going to go great. And then, you know, all of a sudden more people died in 2021 with vaccines and with all these details that we have. And so people are uncertain. And now we got Omicron and people are making it like the great plague. When if you actually look at the science, the vast majority are showing it's more like a cold or a really gentle flu, but it doesn't matter. We're tracking everything. Now, if you imagine if we were tracking the flu constantly and where it was. We don't test everybody so we don't freak out all the time.

27:25So what are you going to do to create a compelling future for yourself? What do you really want this year to be about regardless of what's going on in the outside world? You might say, well, it's easy to say, but they're controlling my business or they're shutting me down here. You can move. You can make new choices. I know they're not easy ones, but you got to get to the point where you say, I won't settle for less than I can really do, be, share, create, and give in my life for my family, for myself, for what I want for my life. There's a point we got to say enough is enough. And you got to start to take control.

27:53How do you do that? One of the things that you say that I love is fear is physical. And what I learned from you so many years ago that transformed my life is to begin to learn to change my state with my physiology. Everything in my life starts with my physiology from my fitness, but also when I'm feeling something I don't want to feel, I try to shift my physiology. and I just heard you recently say this, so I'd like you to speak to it, that fear is also a physical thing. I want you to elaborate a little bit about that. Well, first of all, if you're concerned about COVID, according to CDC, and I have this in my new book, the number one issue besides age, obviously, the number one piece is being overweight or obese.

28:30That is number one. And just this week, CNN, New York Times, for the first time, two years later, are coming and saying, you can reduce your risk if you take care of your body, right? Do you know what number two is, according to the CDC? Fear. Because when you get fearful, it changes your breathing, your body temperature, your tension in your body. All these things can create a trigger of reactions, hormones in your body that make you crazy. So when I say fear is physical, here's what I mean. Fear is physical, by the way, so is courage. Emotions are physical. If you're really scared, have you ever been at that point where you're like freaked out about something and you can't quite fully swallow or you got that feeling in your gut?

29:04Certainly. But courage is also physical. That's what you're talking about. Like, it's like I trained myself from a very young age that the number one thing I had to do so I would follow through on the things we're talking about here is I had to have a mind and body that were strong together. That every day I was going to do something to strengthen my body, even if it was just 10 minutes or 15 minutes. Something was going to shift me physiologically to do that. And so, you know, I get scared or I get frustrated and I go on a run. I go on a sprint and I wasn't in shape. Didn't matter. I pushed myself beyond what I was comfortable with.

29:33I go lift weights and I pushed beyond what I was comfortable with. And when you do that, everything in your nervous system changes. Because all of a sudden, when you face something and you push beyond the comfort zone, you get stronger and stronger. Even a little bit each day changes things. So think about it. Courage, that's not you're not afraid because there'd be no need for courage. Courage is you're scared shitless, but you do it anyway. And so training your body, and you and I both do this, right? We train intensely because we know this is the resource through which my mind is going to try to make decisions.

30:02And then the second thing is every day you got to feed your brain, your mind, because if you don't, crap is going in there automatically. We all know that, right? Yeah. I mean, today it's chasing you because we all know the news knows they're not bad people. They're good people. They're just doing their job. Their job is make sure they make as much money for their shareholders. And they know one formula works. And it's pretty obvious these last two years more than ever. If it bleeds, it leads. If it produces fear, more people watch. It's because we all have a 2 million year old brain that's always looking for what's wrong, what kind of hurt us.

30:36But your 2 million year old brain is not going to make you happy, right? You have to take control of that 2 million year old brain and start to direct consciously what you want your life to be. So changing your body radically by a workout, by a run, by a push, by whatever you're going to do, shifting by feeding your brain every single day, and then making sure every day you're taking some form of action towards a compelling future. Like, what am I going to make better? If you have nothing to look forward to, you're going to be pissed off, you're going to be frustrated, you're going to be depressed, you're going to be overwhelmed.

31:04And in those emotional states, even though you're a smart person, and you know lots of things, you won't use anything you know. So to me, the leverage to changing somebody's life is always starting with the human body. If I started to speak to you and I spoke more at this tempo and I said, yeah, I really think people should get their act together and make this their best year ever. I feel terrible in my body. Now, I'm not saying everybody needs to talk fast or loud like me. That's my own physiology, but it's kind of trained. But everyone has different gears. and when you're low gears, like you can be in a great relationship, somebody you totally love, and you're both in a great physical state, emotional state, everything's great.

31:50You both get a little love from taking the kids to 20 soccer practices and cashflow problems in the business and all that stuff. And all of a sudden, same love doesn't feel like the same love. You still love each other, but it doesn't come across. And if you're both stressed out, then it creates problems in the relationship. So the most important factor in your life is the ability to manage your mental emotional state is the one thing you have complete control of once you learn how then it becomes just the daily discipline and after it's not even discipline it just becomes habit to say i'm not going to live in this lousy pace i'm not going to put up with it i know what to do let me do it let me move forward but that's why you know i do programs and events where i immerse people yeah because you know you and i can talk about this human it's kind of nod your head but if i put you in an experience correct i always tell people a belief is a poor substitute for an experience.

32:36You can have a belief about China. I take you to China, you're going to have an experience. It's very different. So I think human beings need to put themselves more in experiences. A lot of us today, especially with COVID being stuck at home and doing business from home, a lot of people are stuck in their head. I tell you, get in your head, you're dead. You're just going circles. You got to get that body and that energy moving, and then your head will start to work as well. Okay. So you've all been listening now for say 10 minutes. There's two things already. Number one, do you have this compelling future?

33:02If If someone asked you right now, what's that vision for your future? Second thing is, what are you doing in your body to create a change, to anchor things, to change your state? August is the perfect time to hit reset before the autumn rush begins. And honestly, I can't think of a better place to start than my closet. And I'm getting compliments. You guys listen to the show. You're like, hey, where'd you get the shirt? My let looks good on you. I got it at Quince. Their clothes are made with premium materials, built to last, and designed to become the ones you reach for every day. Quince specializes in everyday staples that work harder, like their ultra-soft organic cotton tees, which I'm wearing right now, and premium Mongolian cashmere sweaters.

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34:50Wayfair has more than 20 million verified five-star reviews from real shoppers, so it's legit. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5 % back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Everything style. Everything home. The third thing was Tony talked about his events, and I want to get this out on the table right away. one of the most incredible things is you've done events for literally millions of people from every continent every country on the planet and i mean what i said i'm not saying that because we're friends i i just i think you've positively affected more lives than any person that i'm aware of it's just true and i the fact that you now are offering a free event it's just bananas to me i mean it's it's incredible to me so i think it starts on january 25th but i want people to know about this because this could be that catalyst to help you know create that compelling future and maybe transcend your environment.

35:44So tell us just a little bit about that event. I'll tell you why I did it. I did it, you know, after 2020, about halfway through the year, people were just so depressed. You saw people gaining weight. People had no clear idea what they're going to do. So I said, okay, I'm going to do an event for the whole world. Let's just, let's use YouTube. Let's use all the different tools that we can. Let's bring them all together. And we had 400 ,000 people. And I was like, let me do one for three hours, but I'm not really capable of that. So I was like, we'll do two days, two days for 90 minutes. And then I made it five days yeah and the reason i do that is not because i like to talk it's because you need a certain amount of immersion it's like learning a language if you only learn a little bit at a time you don't remember it two years later but if i put you in rome day and night for a month you're going to come out speaking italian so that's my theory so what i did was i did five days we had 400 000 people join us and every day we took a part of their body their emotions their relationships and the goal is get them a new perspective because it's hard to do that when you're at home but not when you're in this audience literally of almost half a million people.

36:42Last year we did it again. We had 860 ,000 people that joined me for five days. So I'm doing one final one because I'm praying this is the last of COVID. But I really want to help people here at the beginning of the year because you see so many people now are caught up in what I call learned helplessness. When you've been disappointed, oh, you got a gut check. But most people pick themselves back up. But if you get disappointed enough times, there's a point when your brain goes, the problem's permanent. It's just, or it's pervasive because I can't turn my business around. My whole life is over, which is not true or it's personal or something wrong with me.

37:14And so I want to break those patterns and give people a direct experience. So if you want to join me guys, there's zero cost and you don't have to travel. So it kind of handles the two objections most people have. And it's, as you said, it's coming up on January 25th through the 29th, five days in a row, about 90 minutes each day. It's probably going to be more like two hours. It'll be more, but it's totally interactive it's not you just sitting passively and we're going to cover your body your emotions relationship your life and get you to have a plan for 2022 here where you really can start to have a compelling future that was a great conversation and if you want to hear the full interview be sure to follow the ed my let show on apple and spotify links are in the show notes here's an excerpt i did with our next guest welcome back to max out everybody i'm so excited about today's program because i'm one of the most inspirational people i think on earth today with me and she was also I always put these polls out to you guys saying, who do you want on my show?

38:05And there kept being this name coming up, this beautiful name, by the way, Fallon Taylor. Fallon Taylor, get her on your show. And so I'm so excited that she's here today. This lady to my left is amazing. She's an incredible entrepreneur. She's got an amazing social media and YouTube presence, but she's probably best known for being a world barrel racing champion. And not only is that extraordinary, but she did that after breaking her neck and having a 2 % chance to even ever walk again. And she comes back and wins what is really the World Series of barrel racing. So I'm so excited for you guys to hear this story.

38:38So thank you for being here, Fallon. Thank you so much. I really am excited to be here. So guys, now here we go. Just so you know, if you're driving the car, you need to grip your steering wheel a little bit tighter because this is about to get really good, like really hugely inspiring. If you're on the treadmill at the gym, you're about to go from level 7 to level 10 like that. and if you're watching youtube this is the part where you bring your kids in the room and you say watch this okay so so tell them what happens you're starting to make your comeback guys this is one of the most amazing stories you're going to hear so you're making your comeback and what happens well i'd like to tell you my mantra of it's going to get rocky and i'm going to tell you the mantra that my dad told me the whole time throughout my entire career and me being very risky was whatever you do, don't end up in a hospital because you'll die in there.

39:25Wow. And, you know, it just kind of rang in my head because I was riding dangerous horses and I was doing a lot of training. And then I started training around the clock because of the weather and I needed my bills paid. And I'm riding, riding, riding and taking chances that I shouldn't have had to take, you know, just because I was not understanding my growth and I wasn't understanding my contribution. And so I was training really late at night in August in 2009. and I'm riding this horse that's fine everything's fine we're training everything's normal my poor staff member was there with her boyfriend and it's just us lonely at night lights on in the arena and and I'm gonna train this horse and as I was taking off around the arena this horse slipped kind of in a mud puddle and it was not a big deal you know whatever he slips and he was feeling frisky and you kind of know that when a horse behaves a certain way it's feeling a little frisky.

40:16I should have known better. I should have taken more precautions, but I didn't. It's what I do for a living. What's the big deal? And I start laughing. I start giggling, and this horse starts to buck. And when I say buck, you know, horses can play and buck, and they can crow hop and buck. This horse did something that's like a wild instinct. So he reared up when he did. He broke all the bones on this side of my face. And when he came down to the ground, I'm still laughing. I'm like, okay, whatever. And you know, In the cowboy industry, you've got to be tough. And so I start to pull this horse up, and as I do, he hits me in the head again, and I skull fracture in four places.

40:52Of course, I don't know this. And of course, I'm not wearing a helmet, because that's just not the cool, tough thing to do. And he begins to buck a little bit more, and I just decide that I'm going to pick a place off over here to jump off, which is a terrible idea. But I picked a place to kind of jump off, and when I did, he kicked my feet about 13 or 14 feet in the air and I landed straight down on my head. My legs just kind of flopped over and I was unable to move. I was paralyzed right in that moment and what a tough place to be in, you know, because I was in this horrible relationship and in a spot where I'm like, who's going to save me?

41:33You know, so all I have is my career. If I get hurt, I can't make a living. How am I going to take care of myself? I'm in this horrible place. How am I going to get up? I got to get up. And so, my friend came over. I was strapped down to a picnic table because I was too cheap to ride in an ambulance. So I get taken in a pickup truck on a picnic table to the hospital. And I get there and I start joking with the staff because it's just my way. and the lady in the front desk my friend went and asked for a gurney and she said you don't need a gurney that girl's out there telling jokes quit being so dramatic so my friend that was a paramedic they take me in and they finally get me a gurney I could have I could have walked I think I think I could have but when I got through the MRI machine and joking with the um the doctor that was helping me.

42:31I kept telling him, you know, Hooters closes in 15 minutes and we're really close now. Like, let's go get some food. Tell me I have a concussion. Let's get out of here. And he came back in the room. He said, you have a 2 % chance to live. And he said, it's really been touching to get to know you. But he said, the plane's running and you have 13 minute flight to think about your life. And I hope that you really take that time to think about what you're going to do now because you're never going to ride horses again and i'll never forget getting i'll never i don't know why i remember the guy's names they were two guys named russell that carried me to the plane and had me on this you know in the sea collar and strapped to the table and i get to someone get me some tissue please someone grab one thank you um i get to the hospital room and there's a whole nother story um in the hospital but i was told again i have two percent chance to live that i would never walk again the neurosurgeon told me i was an absolute idiot for riding horses thank you they don't stop they come down and it's over it's beautiful so i had i had a second to think and all i could think of was my dad telling me you no, you're going to die in a hospital.

43:47You can't, don't die in a hospital. And I'm like, this is crazy superstition that you're going to die in a hospital. And I wake up the next day, heavily drugged, obviously with a halo on. I had a girlfriend in the hospital tell me they're going to offer you two scenarios. You can get the surgery with the box in your neck, or you can get the halo. They're going to shave your head. You're going to have holes in your head. She said, go that way. I've seen this go a bunch different ways. So when the doctor came in, I started bawling and I was like, I want the halo. You know, all I can think of is this cage on my head.

44:20I want the halo. At this point, I've called my mom and dad and told them that I was in a fender bender because they're with their grandkids in California. And I'm like, I'm in a fender bender. Everything's fine. It's all fine. It's going to be fine. And I've got to figure out a way to get out of this hospital. So I get these nurses that come in and I say, Hey, how can I get out of here? Because now I've got this real embedded childhood fear that I'm going to die in the hospital. And I've got a damn good chance at this point with the situation I'm in. It's actually true. I could die in here. So shout out to all the amazing medical professionals because it's just my own superstition.

44:55They did an amazing job. One came in, I said, I need to get out of here. And she laughed at me and she said, well, you know, when you can walk from one end of the hall to the other, then they'll let you out. But you're not going to do that. You've got a long time. You need to settle in, you've got about six months, you're going to be here. So the next nurse came in and she said, she laughed at me and she goes, you know, she's writing, oh, you've got six months, you know, you just like settle in. And then the next lady came in really late on shift and she was amazing. And if I could find her, I would give her everything I've got.

45:28She came in and I said, how do I get out of here? I got to get out of here. I really got to get out of here. And she said, well, you walk to the end of the hall and you come back, you can get out. And I said, well, let's do that. How do we do that? Wow. She said, well, you got to get up. And the big risk is, you know, if and when you fall down, you know, you can wiggle your fingers and toes. And that's good. But when you get up, it's not going to feel like you thought it was. And you've got all this equipment on your head. You're going to hit the ground. And then you could die. And I was like, well, they've given me terrible odds at this point.

46:00So what the hell? And it was just very cool. this lady that moment I she has no idea what she did for me because she's just like just well you know I'm willing to try it she takes the belt and she ties it to the ceiling and I get up and I fall down just like she said I would and then she said if you just put one foot in front of the other you know you can get down to the end of the hall and it could take you months but we're gonna try it wow it took me about an hour and a half and um I got up and down the end of the hall and I took all the people that that didn't believe me you know the lady at the front desk and the nurses that came in and I said tomorrow I'm going to deliver flowers to each and every one of you guys because you didn't believe and maybe I can change your mind because other people are going to come in here oh my god and they need to know they can walk and so the next day I gathered up all my strength mom at this point knows that I've had I've been structurally destroyed is what I was told she got called from actually a newspaper outlet that was interviewing for rodeo publication that had leaked my medical records so my parents found out in that way so now I've got to do damage control and learn to walk and I told mom I said we got to go to the florist I made him a promise and so it was a really cool scene to watch all of these people that just didn't believe instead of me being angry at these people that didn't believe in my journey to just shine a light on it and show them a different way.

47:28So I went and got floral arrangements for every single person that told me I couldn't do it. And I walked in there and I walked to each of their offices and I, I think, hopefully I gave them a gift that they can always have. You might not believe how I'm going to do it. Um, but it gave me a lot of clarity too. Sometimes you're just not asking the right person, You know? Wow. I think everybody should just literally go back and listen to all of this again. Thank you. You make this, honestly, I'm going to tell you something. This is like such a blessing to be here with you. Thank you. It's a blessing to be here with you.

48:06Thank you. I'm really moved right now. Thank you. And I'm trying to not get too moved so that I can still ask you questions. It has a happy ending. I know. It's such a happy ending. but it's a I know we're gonna go to there but it's a happy ending because of everything you just said that there's there's so many things in there that we all have these people who don't believe in us and we're scared and and they're scared too they're scared to tell me I could walk down the hall because they know I can't they're scared too and maybe that's true for so many people where you have these people in your life that are close to you that are are maybe pulling you down maybe they're just scared for you maybe they're scared for them that you're going to leave them too, right?

48:45Absolutely. And everything that you have. And I just want to acknowledge you like you're freaking amazing. Thank you. Like you're amazing. And I just, now just to be clear with everybody, this break was very serious, very similar to Christopher Reeve, right? And I mean, not all that dissimilar injury, correct? It's not, it's the same injury. So when you break your C2, that's what controls your head going left or right. and you have a very, very, very small chance of making it out on the other side. With a lot of neck breaks, this would be the one that you really don't want to happen. Unbelievable.

49:22I'm picturing you there. I mean, you tell the story so well, I can actually picture you. And I'm so proud of you. I mean, you're just remarkable. And everybody that just heard this, I told them they were going to be moved, but I didn't even know until you told it in front of me how much it would move me. it puts in perspective so many things that I think are big obstacles in my life that really aren't. Sure. And so many things that I think are a really big deal, and they're not. And that is a big deal. You wake up and wiggle your fingers and your toes tomorrow, you're going to be like, oh, okay.

49:51My gosh. We're all okay. Just amazing. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. Today's awesome. I just reached out to this man. I said, hey, brother, I think the world needs a little bit more of Dean and Ed. And everywhere I go, people bring up the time that we've spent together on our other show as one of their favorite, if not their favorite show that I've ever done.

50:24And this man here is a friend of mine. But beyond that, I just want you to know he's an incredibly financially successful person. We were just talking about some of the great things happening in his life off camera. I think he's one of the most articulate and brilliant people in all of the entrepreneur, life strategy, personal development space. And he approaches it in a way that's different than everybody else. There's a kindness that exudes out of this man, a gentleness, yet strength that no one else has. He's also somebody that many of the other people in the space go to for personal advice and for counsel.

50:58He's just a good man. He's a great husband. He's a wonderful father. and I count him as a friend and somebody that I admire greatly. So Dean Graziosi, thank you for being here today, brother. Thank you for that beautiful introduction. I feel the same way about you, Ed. We met each other a little bit before the podcast and it was like we were bonded brothers forever after that. And it was a great show and I still get hit up on a regular basis. I know you do. There was something magical about that show because we get hit up all the time about it. So it's good to be here with you. Man, I'm so grateful for you.

51:27I got two things left because we're going to run out of time. Literally, brother, we've almost been an hour. We could go forever, you and I. But I have to ask you a couple of things, because here's what your opinion about this, because I've been navigating it. A lot of entrepreneurs listen to this, or they want to be entrepreneurs. And there's this new thing out there, not new, but there's this adage that, hey, millionaires have multiple streams of income, right? And sometimes I think myself that that's a fact that's not true. Although it's true that most millionaires have multiple streams of income, my experience is that most of those millionaires got great at one thing first, and then as they became millionaires, diversified their income streams to multiple streams.

52:09Why I ask this is, and I would really like your opinion about it, I see a lot of people doing five, six, seven things, three, four different things, trying to spin all these plates, but not really getting great at any of them. And I almost think to some extent that they would be better off if they got great at something. Same time, I understand the world today is a different world than it was 20 years ago. And I really don't know your opinion about this. And I'm curious as to how you feel about it. Should someone get great at what they're doing? You spoke about greatness earlier. Are you a believer they should have four, five, six different things going at any given time?

52:44I think the biggest disservice you could do to a new entrepreneur is tell them that they should have multiple streams of income because they'll never go deep enough on one thing. Never go through enough pain and enough failure on the one thing that'll go deep enough to give them the breakthroughs to be able to do that later on in life. It's an absolute fact. And here's something before I get there. I want to say something. I love the fact of what this device has done for us, that you could log in and listen to Ed right now. I died. I listened to Tony Robbins' tapes in 1996, I don't know, 96, 95.

53:21I listened to Tony Robbins' tapes, and when I got done, I ordered his PowerTalk, and I'd wait for them to come every month. And I was searching for you to be able to have access in a second to Ed and Andy Frisella and Tony and so many great people out there. I love that part. but the other part where I think it's done a disservice to a whole generation is you think success is easy when it's brutally freaking hard it is hard to have the success you want it's hard to have a jet and freedom and extra houses and it takes hard work and it takes time and it's there's no shortcut I don't care what anybody thinks there's no shortcut maybe you could have bought doja coin and you got lucky that is the rarest thing in the history of the world Ed and I I would I bet we agree, I don't even know.

54:05Neither one of us probably invested in crypto when all of our friends said to because we didn't know it, we didn't feel it, and we missed it. So I'm so blessed if you did for you, but that's not where true wealth is made. You have to work 50 % harder than you think you do. You have to get kicked in the teeth more than you think. You have to get questioned by your friends and family and look like the dreamer twice as much as you think. The people you thought were gonna support you aren't. Some people are gonna talk behind your back. Some friends are gonna leave you, and guess what? It's worth every freaking penny.

54:33It's worth every moment, every disappointment. There was a gentleman named David Kekage. I met him. He was paralyzed from the neck down. And not always paralyzed. I think it was a jogging car accident. And he had these Kekage credos. It was like a business card that folded out. And one of his Kekage credos to make him positive, most positive guy you ever met, couldn't move anything below his neck, was one of them was, living the hard way is easy. And living the easy way is hard. So before I answer this about multiple streams of income, I think it's really important. I tell you this living the hard way Makes it easy.

55:08It was hard when my friends were partying everything I still had fun Don't get me wrong But when I was getting up at five o 'clock going to work every day my friends like oh you're crazy We come from a small town. It's blue-collar Just I grew in a similar town as you did all my friends are gonna be mechanics or construction workers And if they're lucky they work for IBM, right? And when they told me that I was crazy for doing it when I worked seven days a week when I borrowed money when I I used to take credit cards and apply for 10 at once so I could get the money and use that money and leverage it and go buy a junky piece of property and fix it up every night.

55:38I'd work on cars during the day. I'd drive a tow truck at night and I'd work on my houses at night. I'd put 20 hours a day. Everybody, my sister, my family, my friends thought I was insane. I was nuts. I was a dreamer. People without educations, without money, they don't really get there. What were my chances? If you looked at the percentages, you wouldn't bet on me if you were in Vegas, but I knew I took the hard path. Didn't know I was, but I took the hard way but now I get to be the dad I want. I take my kids to school every day. I coach Little League. I coach softball. I can jump on a plane and go to New York and go to my farm in New York and spend time.

56:10It looks beautiful now but I put the work in. None of it was handed to me. Now I'm not saying me but it's easy to sit on the couch, order pizza and binge out on Netflix. That's easy. It's hard when you're 60 and you got diabetes and you can't play with your kids. It's easy in today's world to go hit up the girl who used to hang out in high school and be unfaithful and nobody will ever find out. It's easy to do now. It's really hard when you're the fan and you're alone when you're 70 years old. I know that might sound harsh, but I think through all of this. So first off, I want to tell you, live the hard way now.

56:41Make the smart decisions now so you can live easy and have choices that you want. You know how many baby boomers I meet that took a job that seemed easy and a nice 401k and they're 62 years old going, I just wasted 40 years of my life building someone else's dream and I have my own. Help me, Dean. And I want to help them, but they didn't take the hard way. So take the hard way, work hard on your thing. Secondly, multiple streams of income are absolutely amazing once you crack the code, once you have something steady from one thing. Give you Tony Robbins, for example. Number one personal development guy, I don't think anybody will ever reach his height of success.

57:16I don't think anybody will leave the legacy that that man's going to lead. Do you know he was 48 years old before he invested in another company? And it's because when he was younger, He used to hang out with billionaires. He coached a lot of these guys when he was in his 20s. And he was on a jet with really successful people. And they're talking about all these different businesses they have, but they were in their 60s. He was in his early 30s. And he's like, man, I'm working my tail off on one business. These guys are flipping companies and making billions. And a guy said, one of the guys on the plane, I think it was the second richest man in Canada, said to him, all in your own time, man.

57:49Go deep on your company. When your company is paying, then you can take the money from that company and there'll be a time in your life where you can start investing in other companies. But don't do that until you go deep to know it till it becomes bulletproof. Tony was almost 50, Ed, before he started investing in other companies. Now he has multiple streams of income, but he went deep and mastered what he'd done. And here's the last thing I'll tell you. When you master something, doesn't mean you have to stick with it forever, right? I mastered real estate. I got really deep, but all those principles I learned in mastering real estate, in hiring people, and running businesses.

58:25And I took that and they lent great for my next companies. Yeah. I 1 ,000 % agree. And that's exactly what I did. I built one thing for a very long time. Then I diversified into all these other businesses. This is one of the best conversations I've ever had. I mean, just straight up. Because it's so wide ranging. We started the show and I told you, I'm not going to tell you what we're going to talk about. I said, you just crushed this. That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. All right.

58:58Welcome back to the show, everybody. I have a remarkable soul to share with all of you today. And I've been following this woman's journey for a long time. We were just talking. We have so many mutual friends. And there's so many things you could say when you introduce her. I mean, she's really the all-time, I think, most decorated adaptive snowboarder of all time. She's an unbelievable speaker. Oprah Winfrey calls her basically the most inspirational person on the planet. she's toured with Oprah Winfrey. She's the best-selling book of On My Own Two Feet. She's got an unbelievable podcast. And oh, by the way, when she was 19 years old, she lost both of her legs from below her knees.

59:36And so there's a lot to talk about. Oh, should have won Dancing with the Stars with my boy Derek Hough. That was a robbery, but she was runner up there. So Amy Purdy, welcome to the show today. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much, Ed. I like asking different stuff, right? So when I get interviewed, people ask me about my previous life. Like, what was it like before your life is like now? I'm curious for those that are listening, they're in this transition period. They've woken up. Maybe they didn't lose their legs, which, and by the way, everybody hopefully gives you some perspective. You didn't lose your spleen, kidney, and legs.

1:00:08You lost a job or a relationship and it's bad, but let's all have some perspective, right? But for me, I'm curious because they want to come out of this. There's the Amy Purdy story that was the one that she became a massage therapist. Then there's the story that you get asked like right now, which is take me back, you lost your legs. But then since then, you've had a 20 year life of contribution and books and athleticism and speaking and the difference you've made. When you're telling it, is it like, is that an old story to you now? In other words, does it eventually fade? Like you have to recall when you build your new dream and story or is it just as fresh to some extent as it was before?

1:00:51What's it feel like when you actually change your life and come back from adversity? Yeah, I mean, you know, of course, at the time that I went through everything at 19, that was the worst and hardest thing I'd ever gone through, right? But then I moved on, and I moved forward, and life continued on. And I went through even other types of hard things, right? Right. So we're sometimes, you know, somebody like doing a podcast, somebody will ask me, tell me about the hardest thing you've ever been through. And sometimes it surprises them that, you know, I might talk about my Ted talk and how hard that was because that was hard in itself, right?

1:01:29Yeah. I've gone through losing my legs and having a kidney transplant. That's, you know, nothing can compare to that, but we continue to go through challenges. And every time we have an opportunity and we're kind of being asked to step up, oftentimes those are the biggest challenges we'll ever go through. So, you know, throughout my life of 20 years, I mean, becoming a professional athlete with two prosthetic legs, that in itself was this crazy journey. I had to make my own feet to snowboard in because nobody else was making them for me. So like just the, the effort, the effort, you know, that went into that and people just kind of see the accomplishment, right?

1:02:05They don't really see everything, the years that goes on, but you know, behind the scenes and then dancing with the stars. Awesome. Awesome experience. One of the hardest things I've ever put myself through. And then now this past year, I've, I've actually dealt with another major challenge, which to be honest, has been more challenging than when I lost my legs 20 years ago. And, um, and so I've been fighting through that. I've had nine surgeries this year, but at the same time, it continues to teach me things that I did not learn 20 years ago, which is amazing. It's not like I can flash back on what I learned 20 years ago to help me get through some of the challenges that I'll face today, but I learn even more things with each challenge that comes my way.

1:02:49And so I think that's, you know, that's the beautiful thing about life. It's like the longer we live, the more stories we're going to have and the more challenges we're going to have. So we need to be resilient, you know, if we want to keep going. To the extent that you're comfortable, can you share with us a little bit of what those challenges have been recently, just to the extent you're comfortable? Yeah. You know, it's amazing. I'll say it's also made me question everything that I thought I knew previously, actually. So I was, let's say two years ago, living my best life. I was, you know, just won my second, my third Paralympic medal.

1:03:30you know, to get to that peak of performance with two prosthetic legs, I mean, massive accomplishment for me because I felt it. I felt it inside. I just had to figure it out. And it took years to figure it out. And then I finally did. I was finally snowboarding at my absolute best and I was strong and I was healthy. And my husband and I, we bought this beautiful house in the mountains and we're traveling the world. And it's just like, yes, you know, I've worked 20 years, worked so hard to get here. And then suddenly my life flipped upside down when I felt this cramp in my left calf. I was actually doing a speech in Las Vegas and I was standing on stage, felt this cramp, didn't think anything of it, flew to Nebraska to do another speech actually the next day and just thought, well, maybe my prosthetic leg's not fitting that well.

1:04:16And the next morning when I was supposed to fly home to Denver, I woke up at about 5 a.m. in excruciating pain, ripped the covers off, realized that my leg, my calf was like as white as the sheets that I was laying in. And so I scooted to the edge of the bed and kind of hung my legs over the edge and rubbed them like crazy. My leg was ice cold. It hurt so bad. I instantly Googled blood clot because I travel so much and it didn't look anything like it. You know, Normally with a blood clot, it's like you're swollen and inflamed and red. And I'm like, no, my leg's actually white and cold and hurts.

1:04:56And so I got on the quickest flight I could, flew to Denver, went into the emergency room and found out that I had a massive blood clot in the artery of my left leg from my hip down every artery. So basically, just a spider web of little blood vessels was keeping my entire leg alive. And I knew in that moment that this was major. This was major. And my leg was purple. Having a prosthetic leg, I mean, first of all, having prosthetics, your legs need to be very, very healthy to walk in them, to snowboard and work out and do all these things. Like that is one thing that I definitely, you know, know that helped me get to where I'm at today is I've always been healthy.

1:05:43Yes, I have prosthetic legs. Yes, I have a kidney transplant, but I've always been very, very healthy. All of a sudden, you know, the health of my leg was compromised. And so I ended up having nine surgeries, including one about two weeks ago. Half of them have been vascular, which is basically once an artery gets injured, it wants to shut down. That's the way that it wants to heal itself. And it kind of goes against, it kind of goes against what you want to believe, because I want to sit here and think, you know, I need my body to heal itself while it's trying and we're actually stopping it because what it's trying to do is close the artery that is injured.

1:06:26And we're constantly going in there trying to open it up. Right. And, um, I will say some incredible things have come out of it, I mean, first of all, just the power of the human body is incredible. So my body has rerouted. So I've had these closures in my entire femoral artery and then popliteal artery and their arteries blow my knee as well. But every time a closure has happened, this amazing little detour pops up in the ultrasound. And you see these like branches of a tree, these new like little arteries, which don't always grow. It's not something that they can predict will happen. and you just hope it does.

1:07:05And I've been very lucky that, you know, I now have all these like little, little arteries taking over what the big arteries were doing. Um, and so it's been, it's been fascinating to watch what my body's been able to do, but it's also been massively, massively challenging. I mean, I've, I've had major surgeries, some of the most painful things I could ever experience and, um, haven't been able to walk for the last two years. And, And, you know, it's challenged me in a way that I never, never could have expected. And, you know, at the beginning, it was very hard to understand because I'm like, haven't I already faced the challenge that was supposed to teach me, you know, what we can do in life and what we can do despite our circumstances?

1:07:52Like, haven't I done, haven't I done that? You know, why does it, why do I have to go through this now? and um i will say i mean it's just taught me things that i never learned 20 years ago you know it's not till you get to like the depths of life and the depths of despair that you learn certain things that do help you um you know not just survive but thrive and and and i feel like i'm able to help others even more so because it's not just you know 20 years ago it was like yeah i lost my legs got my new legs went on to become a professional snowboarder like oh yeah you just kind of put your legs on and go.

1:08:27Like it felt almost that easy to me. Whereas this time it's like, no, it's not that easy. This is, you know, this is hard stuff and people go through hard stuff. And, and we, this is when resilience is incredibly important and faith and whatever it may be. This is, this is when you need it the most. So I'm learning it. I'm learning it at a whole different level than, than I did before. Thank you for being willing to share that. one thing I will say to you is that your energy is so magnificent, even though you've been going through this. And the good news is, is that because you shared this, you've now got several million people going to be in prayer for you.

1:09:02Cause I get the feeling, maybe you're not completely past all of it, the way that you're talking. And so we'll all be in, in, in prayer for you. Well, that's just a, wow. It's interesting thing on much lower levels, you know, much lower levels. I have to say to everybody that there's such a beautiful lesson you've taught there. And actually I'm so grateful I asked that question because I just had this sense like that's not the only story with you and it's not in any of my notes but I ask it because when we have defining moment in our life like wow someone says I went through this divorce and now my life's blissful or I went bankrupt and now I'm rich I always thought I'd already had my challenging parts of my life and now and by the way my challenges are nowhere near what yours are but it's such a beautiful life lesson because I remember thinking well once I get to this other place where like I know all this really important stuff.

1:09:50And I've been through the real challenge part. The rest of it is like mini challenges, you know, that's just not life in general. And unfortunately, or fortunately, at least in my case, a much lower level, it's caused me to be a different version of me. And sometimes when I'm living a really easy life and relying on my old story that I've overcome, it's suppressed my growth as a being, as a spirit. Is that a crazy takeaway from this? Or do you kind to see that. That is a takeaway. That's my biggest takeaway, I think, from what I'm dealing with right now. Absolutely. I mean, it's forced me to grow that much more.

1:10:27It's transformed me. And there's no way to go back, right? There's no way to go back to what things were and things were incredible. But this is how things are now. And I'm learning so much. And I felt the same way. I went through this massive ordeal when I was 19. And it also, it's like I traveled the world and shared my story all across the world. It's like, that was my challenge. And then I found out that, yeah, the more you live, the more stories you're going to live and the more versions of yourself you're going to be. And so I feel like I've stepped into what I call version three of Amy, because version one was like normal life.

1:11:11right? Lived till I was 20. That's what I thought life was like. Had these dreams and goals. Lost my legs. Version two was figuring out what the possibilities are. Traveling the world, snowboarding, New York Times bestseller, Dancing with the Stars, Oprah, like all these kind of bucket lists, like, can I do it? Can I do it? Just pushing, pushing, pushing. And then all of a sudden, this hits, and I'm like, okay, well, no longer that, at least not for today. So who am I? And I realized I want to help other people live their possibilities. You know, if I'm not out there doing it, I've learned it.

1:11:43I've done it. Now I want to help others do the same, no matter what circumstances you're facing. I had no idea we were going to do all this today. And I'm thinking at this time with where humans are in their life, like what, because just so you all know, people have been trying to get me and this remarkable woman together for quite a while. And we were both talking before we went on, like maybe I'd said to you right before I said, maybe this is just like God's time, you know and I really believe that like I got a little goosebumps on my little hairless shaved arms right now so I gotta tell you it's true what were you gonna say I have to tell you I do feel like it's divine as well because so when you reached out to me uh to do this podcast with you I was actually like maybe one day out of the hospital and I had this incredible experience in the hospital.

1:12:31So this is just what, like two months ago. So I decided that I decided to amputate my leg a little bit shorter. I'm still below the knee. You know, once you go above the knee, that's a really big deal. But just with the fact that, you know, my vascular system's working really, really hard to get blood to the bottom of my leg, I decided to amputate my leg a little bit shorter. So I was in Boston and had the surgery and was in the hospital by myself for seven days. my grandfather passed away as I was being wheeled into the operation. And it was just the whole thing was very, very heavy. I'm losing more of my leg, which I didn't want to do.

1:13:14This is the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew it would help. And then having my grandpa pass and not even be able to hug my family, then going into surgery, waking up in the hospital. And I was there for seven days with not one visitor. Boston's really cracked down on having anybody even visit. So not one visitor. So I just sat in the hospital by myself for seven days, staring out the window and thinking about my life. And it was fascinating because I never picked up my phone. I didn't turn on the TV. And so I thought, well, what am I doing all day while I'm in here besides nurses and doctors coming in, but I was just kind of looking out the window, daydreaming, visualizing, like just thinking about who I am and who I was and what's important to me.

1:14:01And I got the most divine download because I got so creative and so excited about life that I had my computer with me and I was typing out. That's when I decided to launch my podcast, Bouncing Forward, actually launched the trailer while I was in the hospital. Because I just got so excited all of a sudden, like, yes, like, this is what, you know, I want to share. And it's been so long since I've felt so inspired, so deeply inspired. And I left the hospital and all of a sudden I got a message from you to be on the podcast. And I really look up to you and I really feel like that was, you know, it's when you manifest, right?

1:14:42When you're kind of in that space of like, I'm doing it, I'm putting the energy out there. I'm allowing, you know, the energy to flow through me. And then you kind of connect with others who are doing the same. And so you were just kind of the perfect, like, I don't know, like stamp on like, that was, I manifested this moment where I felt so inspired and creative. And then I was just incredibly grateful to do this podcast with you as well. Oh my gosh. I feel so blessed and so grateful. Like I've never had this feeling in the middle love a show before. I got to tell you, it's a, it's a, it's a wow.

1:15:16And thank you for being willing to share that. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. What is something that you could do today, right now, keeping these promises you make yourself to build the bridge? I really believe those of you that whatever your faith is, but the Bible talks about the body being our temple, but whatever you believe about your faith. I just want to say one thing to you. I think more change starts with your body and your physicality than you might realize.

1:15:49And I don't care if you're ripped and fit right now, or maybe you put a couple pounds on. Here's what I mean by that. Fitness, nutrition, hydration, let's take those three things. Those are areas where you can keep promises to yourself. And so that's why I started with this fast thing that I broke. Now I'm going to get back on it again. And by the way, it's okay if you fall down, you got to get back up, acknowledge the mistake. I could have made a bunch of excuses to you about why and I worked out too hard yesterday. So I was starving and my body was craving protein. I had a banana to get any protein, right?

1:16:19So there's no excuses. But see, the time that you get up in the morning, the amount of working out you do, if you go in and do the reps or the time on the treadmill that you say you're going to do, you are starting to stack keeping the promises you make to yourself. If you're going to drink a gallon of water every day and you drink it, you're so some of you are familiar with my work at Brenna's work. You go, I already know that already. Are you doing it? What's another promise you could keep to yourself? So for me, it's, it's exactly that. I start to build this machine called me by keeping the physical promise I make to myself one, because it changes your physiology, but two, it is an area you are in control of.

1:16:55You can't control how much money you're going to make this month or how many clients you're going to get or what third party outside of you people are going to do. So start with promises that are inside that you can keep. Okay. The second area where I begin to keep promises to myself is in my faith walk in my internal life. So for example, I pray in the morning, you'd be surprised that there's a power to the prayer, but there's a power to doing the prayer because I said I was going to do it. There's a power to getting on my knees every night and praying. There's a power to when I walk out on bless, I live on the ocean.

1:17:30But when I was in my apartment. I had a little water fountain that cost me 50 bucks at a swap meet. I like to meditate around water moving. When I would do that, there was a power to emptying my mind and meditating, or there's a power to be connecting with God and prayer. But the other power is I said I was going to do it and I did it. Let me tell you what that does. It tells you you're in charge. You're in control. You have some domain and influence over your life. Now, all of my faith, no gods in charge you know what i mean when i say that don't get it twisted there's a ying and a yang the parable of the sower in the bible you got to plant seeds he provides the harvest yes the world will take some with the rain and the wind and the birds and all that but you have to plant seeds in your life and when you begin planting these seeds of the promises you keep to yourself the harvest is more self-confidence the harvest is a performance edge that other people don't get oh she's got some swagger about her right now she's got a different look in her eye that eye of the tiger that she's got a little smirk.

1:18:28Like she almost knows something. I don't know. You ever meet those people? They seem to know something. I don't know. You know what they know they can trust them and you don't. And when they know they can trust them, they have a different energy about them. And by the way, you can't transfer to somebody that which you're not experiencing yourself. Why does that matter? If you don't trust you and believe in you, nobody else is going to, Nobody else is going to because you can't give them that trust and belief in you that you don't possess. Too many people, Brendan, are waiting around for someone else to validate them.

1:19:05Go, hey, you have my permission to succeed now. You matter. Well, so-and-so doesn't believe in me. Is it that they don't believe in you or is it that you don't believe in yourself to the extent yet because you're not keeping these promises if we're being honest as friends? And because you don't have that, you're not transferring that belief to them where they can give it back to you. Does that make sense? That's so good. Yeah. When your spirit is really alive in you because you're doing prayer, you're having that moment of faith. And when that's there, you do have a different level of confidence in life.

1:19:44You really do because you can trust yourself and you can trust something beyond yourself. Now you got the double-edged sword, right? Trust in self, I was congruent. trust and faith, something bigger has got me. Now you have a two-sided trust. You're stronger. And people feel that from you. They're like, oh, he seems solid. He seems solid. And what I want people to have is that solidity in their week, where there's a strength, there's a centeredness, there's a groundedness. Because performance edge, we always think it's like super high, But it's not about this hype. It's more about being grounded, being strong.

1:20:23And I also want to share for those who maybe you're listening to the podcast, I'd love for you to go to YouTube and watch the riff Ed just did. because I'm going to give you one more tip on this performance edge, getting it back. People who are able to maintain their drive over a period of time, they do what Ed just did. It's called leadership communication. They speak like leaders. They step in and embody a role model mindset. They are like, oh, I'm aware people have influence. I'm aware that I have the ability to influence energy. So Ed just took the whole thing and ramped it up. Well, guess what?

1:21:05The rest of the day, because he had leadership communication coming out of his mouth, he'll literally be more expressive, more driven, more focused. And I tell people all this time, hey, you know why you lost the drive? You're too quiet. You lost the drive, you're too quiet. our expression, our voice gives us superpower. We're human beings with human stories. When we actually start sharing and when we understand we can impact people, because who's the most driven people you ever met? They're always leaders. They love the role of being a leader. They love the role of having purposeful influence with other people.

1:21:49And when you lead, you maintain a different kind of edge because you don't play the victim card. Yeah. You lead. You have a different kind of edge because you have responsibility that you took upon. You're carrying the mantle that you chose to carry. You're carrying the torch that matters to you. And you realize that you can help other people. You can serve other people. You can enlist other people, enroll other people, build other people. And soon as there's other people in this mix now, As you lead them, as self-expression comes back into your life, like genuine self-expression for a cause, for a mission.

1:22:29I know when someone's lost their edge, they're less evangelical for whatever their cause is. I know evangelism means something specific maybe in the Christian faith, but I'm using it as a sort of a non-denominational, if you will. It's like when you aren't passionately sharing your cause, your mission, your dream, like business owners all the time, I can tell when they lost their edge, they'll sit there at lunch the whole time. Yeah, I kind of do this. And they're trying to be cool now. They're trying to be the cool person. They're trying to be the subtle person. And it's like, no, no, no. You lose the edge of your business if you don't talk about it, if you don't hype it.

1:23:11If you aren't hyping your business, promoting your business, talking about it with fire, no wonder you lost the fire. You got to be a fire-breathing dragon once in a while about something important in your life if you want to be someone who has that drive and maintains it. Expression is power. And if you don't express, then what happens is, guess what? You tone down. as you tone down, as you placate, as you go silent, your soul goes, I wasn't born to be a silent soul. You were given voice. You were given expression and expression gives you the drive back. Just like you saw, if those who watch it, Ed lift, I mean, he almost jumped right out of that chair and lifts himself up like that.

1:23:57I guarantee the rest of his day is more driven. It's why I tell people, if you read the Bible, read it out loud in the morning. If you have a favorite verse or where you have a favorite poem, where you have a favorite quote from a book, verbalize, express stronger, express more powerful. That's why when you see a great speaker come off stage, they're like glowing. I mean, they're like, they're driven. Yeah, you're right. By the way, I got everybody. He's so right about this. There's this, they're cousins, this idea of selling yourself to dream. Can I just give you all to add to what Brennan was saying?

1:24:31Like, this is going to be very simply put, but I say this to you. if like if you and I were riding in the car together right now, you listening to this or watching this on YouTube, can I just say this to you? This is gonna sound basic, but no one said this to you in a long time. And I believe this to be true. You know, you get your edge back. You got to want it. Listen to me really close. The people that win, they want it more. They want it more. They're hungrier. They're starving to make it done. And to Brendan's point, The longer you do something, you get a little bit fed. Maybe you're not literally starving.

1:25:04When you started your business, you were literally starving, and that gave you an edge. And the more you get well-fed and you got a steak once in a while and a nice bottle of wine, it just is like this slow asphyxiation to where you just don't want it like you once did. So if you want to get your edge back, you got to sell yourself the dream. You got to start keeping these dadgum promises, and you got to want it again. This next year, I promise you, it's going to come down to who wants it the most. And that may sound like rah-rah to you, and it is not. I'm just telling you. Hungry people, man.

1:25:39And like I said earlier, maybe you're an entrepreneur listening to this. Maybe you're a stay-at-home mom. Maybe you're retired. Maybe you're 15. Maybe you're a teacher. Listen to me. How bad do you want it? And you've got to get clear on what it is you want to want it bad enough. and this thing I said earlier about your body don't discount this listen you make a statement when you walk in a room if you are physically fit that says this person should be listened to this person is disciplined and when you walk in a room and you're not that also makes a statement now let me be very clear listen to me as a friend you don't have to be muscular or fit or jacked okay none of that I think it wouldn't hurt if you were but it doesn't matter here's what does matter.

1:26:24The people see you're changing. So if you are out of shape right now and over the next 90 days, you're just a little bit more fit. You're a little, you got a little more coloring in your skin. You're a little bit more energized. If people see you changing, making progress, that's infectious. That's magnetic. It doesn't need to be the final product. If you look like a fitness model on a cover, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is you make a statement with your body. Wow, his body, since I've known Brendan, he's lifting more weights, he's more fit. Right before we went on, we were talking about back exercises he does for his lower back because my lower back's bothering me.

1:27:03Progress is magnetic. And so actually, the fact that you're not in great shape right now could work to your advantage because every time somebody sees you these next 12 months, they're like, what are you doing? That's incredible. Look at the change you're making. And when you change your body and improve your body, it sends a statement to you that you can change anything. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. All right, everybody, welcome back to the show.

1:27:33Today is very easy for me. It's a joy because I get a chance to share one of my best friend's brilliant mind and incredible heart with you guys. He's been on the show multiple times. And you guys know I'm pretty judicious about who I have on the show more than one time. And so when someone repeats that makes me know and you should know that there's somebody that I just believe makes a huge impact in the world. And so my dear friend that's here today is the co-founder of mastermind.com, along with his partner and friend and my friend, Tony Robbins. And he's here to talk today about changing your life, but also an event they have called the Game Has Changed live event.

1:28:08It's a live event. It's called The Game Has Changed. It's June 13th through 15th of 2024 coming up. And if you're interested in the event, which you should be, just go to Dean and Tony live.com slash Ed Dean and Tony live.com slash Ed. And that means Dean Graciosi must be here today. So, Dean, welcome to the show, brother. It's always so good to be here with you. And this is how we get to catch up. I know we're both busy, so we get to catch up on a podcast every two years. It's fantastic. Failure is a great teacher as well. I've never asked you this and we're good friends. Is there a major failure you could share if you were being vulnerable that changed your life, Dean?

1:28:49Any personal, professional, a failure where you went, yeah, that was one of the hardest times of my life, and thank God for it from the standpoint of growth, change, learning, whatever it might be. Well, you know, Ed, I could share with you business failures that were the most painful thing that you just think it's over. I know you've been there when you just think you screwed up. I'm not smart enough. Why did I try to play this big game? You know, I'm from a blue collar small town in the East coast. My dad worked on cars. His father worked on cars. My cousins worked on cars. And I try to play a bigger game.

1:29:24And when it failed the first couple of times, I'm like, see, my dad was right. And my cousins were right. I'm not smart enough for this. I don't have a degree. I don't have money. And that voice is always going to screw with you. And I'll just say, we all know we got two voices inside of us. The one that says you're meant for more, you can do anything, go for it. And the other one says, you're a fool. Why the hell would you try it? And I don't want to overplay something that you already know, but I just want to say, know that we all have two voices. Mine's still in there. And my voice that knowing I'm meant for more just outweighs the other one about 51, 49%.

1:29:58That's it. It's not a hundred. So that's a fact. So I could tell you about a couple of those failures that were tough, but if I'm going to be really vulnerable, the hardest experience of my entire life was going through a divorce. Hands down. And not the divorce itself. My ex and I agreed years prior that our relationship wasn't working and we knew it wasn't. But I came from nine divorces. My dad was married five times, my mom four, moved a million times. By the time I was 20, I moved 20 times. Different stepbrothers, stepsisters i had a i had a step grandfather named leo rizzo the guy took me fishing and hunting bought me a mongoose bmx bike this guy was so awesome taught me how to pheasant hunt one day come home from school our on the front yard it's like no more leo rizzo we're getting thrown out of the house so i lose my step grandpa right i passed him for years i'd almost have tears in my eyes when i passed him because he was like this massive force in my life for six years and then gone overnight, right?

1:30:57So I think I held on to all that stuff, Ed, and I didn't realize it. In fact, if you don't mind me being in person, I know we're talking about business and stuff, but I went through such a tough time going through a divorce. And when I dug in, I just stuffed all that down, all that pain. And what I did is just work my ass off. Excuse my language. I just worked harder than anybody else. And I said, no one's going to mess with my life. I will be so financially secure. No one's going to throw my stuff out. No one's going to tell me what to do. I'll be in control of my decisions. I'll retire my parents because my mom worked hard.

1:31:28I'm going to do whatever the freak it takes. So whenever I failed, I had that big why. So I'm building, I'm telling you all this not to brag, just I'm building. I got momentum. Life's going good. And now all of a sudden we decide to get a divorce. And I think all those childhood things that I tucked into a box and put a lock on it. Somebody asked me what happened. I said, the lock came off the box. and Ed, I went through, I never told another human being, I went through six months of anxiety, never had anxiety in my life. I was having panic attacks. I didn't want to get on a plane. I didn't want to get in an elevator.

1:32:00I was popping a Xanax once a week just so I'd have one night a week that I could sleep. I was so fragmented. And I, I'm just sharing this for if anybody has ever gone through this with your work or your career or your life or your relationship. it was so unglued that I thought to myself, wow, you made it to 47 years old or 45 years old and all the craziness of your childhood, you're done. This is it. Like I was, I was at a point where I didn't think I could come back. And I was like, I couldn't, I was just going through the motions and it made me realize my whole life in business. I went after the hard things.

1:32:35If I failed them, like this is what I'm going to learn the grit. I'll get through it. This one was crippling me. I didn't take the same patterns I had in business. I didn't apply it to my personal life. And when I did, I started focusing on what could be the solution. I'm going to share one more quick thing, Ed. My brain does visual things. And maybe this is somebody who might be going through it. I felt like my ship was in the bay, but it wasn't the bay I was supposed to be in. It was an okay bay. It was calm. There was other ships like mine, but I knew I was supposed to be out in the ocean. But between me and the ocean was a storm.

1:33:07This is the crazy stuff my brain was thinking about. And a million times I put my ship in the storm and it was so brutal that I just turned the ship back. And one day I said, I can't turn back anymore. And, and sailing through that storm, I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I literally thought I was losing my mind. But in that, my brain just kept going, how do I solve this? How do I, how do I get out of this pain? How do I focus on solutions? How do I take all of this and know my better version is on the other side of that. And I wrote down hundreds of things I could do to stop having anxiety.

1:33:40I did yoga. I did meditation. I went for walks. I did therapy. All these things weren't working. But collectively, and I'm going to share one last thing. I thought, what's one thing that could solve all of it? And it was, if I could become friends with my ex, then all my fears of my kids not being allowed to come over, all the craziness my parents went through, they still don't like each other. And I made a commitment to become friends with my ex. and the day I made the commitment, my boat was on the other side of the storm. We became dear friends. We went through a divorce. They call it conscious coupling.

1:34:17We're still dear friends. Our kids are thriving but the only reason I'm sharing that is you know Lisa, my wife now. My ex is happier than she's ever been. I am madly in love. We have two more children. We have four total. She is my best friend. She is my everything. She is my power. She's the one that's, my business has grown. My life has grown. I never would have experienced that if I didn't go after that pain, that failure. And I thought, I'm just doing, I was feeling stuff like, and maybe this is too personal, Ed, but I was feeling like I'm just my dad. I'm doing exactly what he did. Like all this crazy stuff came in.

1:34:51And the only reason I share that is because if you're going through it, sometimes you got to put the ship in the storm and you don't find the solution until you're in the thick of it. You don't find the answer. And on the other side is a level, a version of you that you don't recognize. The harder the storm, the more the transformation. So if, you know, so many people get stuck in a relationship or stuck in a career that's enough, it pays the bills, the kids can go to college, but you're dying on the inside. I'm gonna say, freaking stop, like grab the wheel of the ship and turn into the freaking storm.

1:35:23Because we have to face it. We're either gonna face the storm now or at the end of your life, like my dad, who literally cries every time I see him because he never got out of the bay. And I just will not allow that to happen in my life. and the hardest one was thinking I was going to screw my kids up. That's the reason, and now they are freaking thriving. So I hope that all made sense. Brother, come on. Three podcasts, four podcasts to go. That's my favorite moment we've had right there. Thank you.

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