THIS Is Your FASTEST Path To Escape Your 9-to-5 Job With Less Risk with Codie Sanchez

23:47I don't know if we're going to be able to bring all your people. What people would you absolutely need to bring or not? So I'm not doing a leading question like, well, who would you bring along with you? Which if they're smart at all, they're going to go, oh, yeah, I got a few people. I'm negative framing saying maybe you can bring nobody. And he's like, we have to bring Danielle. She'll follow me. We have to bring this guy and this guy. I'll take a salary decrease. And I go, oh, that guy's going to win. because other people who already have worked with him will follow him. Very good. And so I think that's like, can you lead people?

24:16Will they follow you? And if so, I think you might be able to be a high level entrepreneur. That's really good. What about fatigue? Do you suffer with that? And if you do, for me, it is more mental than physical most of the time. Do you suffer from that? And is there anything you do to recharge or ward it off before it hits you? Yeah. I don't get tired so much. I can work a lot and very late. I get mad and annoyed at how much I'm getting mad about something, and that can fatigue me a little bit. It's almost like emotional annoyance fatigue. Yeah. And he's going to hate that I say this, but I've kind of become friends with Tim Grover.

25:04Yeah. And so I I just hope he never watches this. He will. Oh, no. He will, actually. Oh, no. But I listen to winning and relentless. Okay. Like, I go back and I listen. Why would you not want him to know that? Because I think winners shouldn't have to listen to that shit, actually. Right. And I think that's what he's going to tell me. He's going to be like, become so hard, you don't have to listen to my shit anymore. I'm going to say, yeah, Tim, you're right. But I listen to it because if the greats struggled, then it's totally normal to struggle. And what's not normal is to expect that I wouldn't struggle if all of these others did too.

25:37And so, you know, there was, I remember one of our best managers at one of the other companies that I had, you know, he said he was struggling. He was fatiguing. The team wasn't doing what he wanted them to do. And he said, listen, you know, some people just, some people hope that things happen. Some people wish that things happen. And some people, some very few people actually make it happen. Yes. And he's like, you have to fill a team with more make it happeners. Those are the special people. They will things to happen. Yeah. That's exactly right. There are just certain people that when you get around them, you have a sense my life's going to change.

26:10We're going to win. Everything's going to be okay. I can actually picture the very handful of people in my entire career, maybe it's two hands, where they will things to happen. Like legitimately, I'm talking about leaders of businesses I've been in. I know what you're referring to as people in your team that can make things happen. You give them something, they run. It's even better than you think. but you're a million percent right. There are just certain people that will things to happen. Where should someone be looking to buy a business? Are there places that they should go? Like if someone's listening, they go, okay, I wasn't interested at all.

26:42Now I'm going to start looking. Where would they look? Yeah. Well, the two things. One, we're launching something, so stay tuned. I'll have to tell you about it. But this is my billion dollar bet. We'll see what happens. But there's so many places now. There's Biz Buy Sell, there's LoopNet, there's Flippa, there's e-commerce flippers. Online sites for buying businesses are sort of like going into Ikea without a list, right? You're just like, whoa, there's a lot of stuff in here and a lot of it's trash. And it turns out the second that you buy the thing, you realize that you also bought a secondary job because you ever tried to put anything together from Ikea.

27:18It's a nightmare. And so we're trying to figure out how to make that a little bit easier. I think the real way to buy businesses right now, though, is what I call your center of influence or your personal P &L review, which is probably how you've bought them before. You're like, huh, I have a big expense at this business. Plus, I'm driving these people millions or hundreds of thousands, or if you're smaller, thousands of dollars a year or month. What if I just asked to acquire part of that business? Or what if I acquired that business and turned that cost center into a profit center? Is there a lane you'd avoid?

27:53Are there businesses you just, this is just not a lane I'd go into? And is there one or two where you're like, you should be looking there? There are many businesses I hate. A couple of businesses I hate off the top of my head. Restaurants. Me too. Huge failure rate. Yeah. Terrible. I mean, have you guys ever been employed by a restaurant? Remember what an idiot you were? I was an idiot when I worked at a restaurant. Whole enchilada. Yeah. Not great. Hotels. 24-7 service. Really hard to do. I would invest in an entity that invested in a ton of hotels, never just one individual hotel. It's also real estate masquerading as a business.

28:23Third are like drop shipping, Amazon, FBA, anything a 22-year-old is trying to sell you online. I stay out of those. And that's because at the drop of a hat, Bezos can compete with you. They have all your data and so does China probably. And so I don't want to have to compete with a bunch of dupe knockoffs. Number four, for me in particular, I don't buy anything that has a single point of failure in a person. So oftentimes, consulting businesses, really tough to buy. And then probably the last type of business that I wouldn't buy overall is I don't like businesses that have platform risk. Not dissimilar to Amazon FBA, but if you sell only on Instagram, if you sell only through some third-party site like Shopify.

29:13I'm really careful about that. Now, don't get me wrong. People have made billions on this. And the Hyatt and Hilton family and all of that would laugh me out of the room, right? But it's just harder for the average person. This is such a good interview. I mean, this is stuff, I don't know, we've never covered 99 % of this on the show before. The other thing is you talk a lot about, this is just so good. I want to keep going through your brain. You talk a lot about setting goals are okay, but you want people to set what instead? Good. Sacrifices. Don't tell me what you want. Tell me what you're willing to do to get it.

29:44And that's something I hold myself to as well. Just I don't write goal lists. I literally, my husband and I, we do it quarterly and annually is the big one where we basically sit down and we say, here's all the things we want. What are all the things we're going to have to give up to get it? And so this quarter we had one business with a lot of issues in it. And so we had a big plan that every year we go to Bonnaroo, which is where we met and where I got engaged. And I was like, this year, I'm like, babe, nope, we're not doing it. Now, could I go to Bonnaroo? Of course. Can I afford it? Can I have the time?

30:16And I said, no, we're sacrificing this because I do think that the universe likes signals. And when you say, I'm serious, I'm going to fix this, and I am focused on it as opposed to a beautiful set of distractions, things change.

30:33also distraction by the way i'm the same way i one thing about entrepreneurs that does surprise me and i don't mean to sound joyless in doing it i'm amazed by how many vacations they take compared to the ones that i know yeah in other words the ones that i know that you and i both know mutually um i vacation but it's hard to get me to do it and i feel like i just don't like leaving for too long because i lose momentum i certainly haven't taken a lot of long vacations in my life. I like two or three type day ones just because I just, the distance and the momentum or whatever it is. And maybe you go, well, that's because you haven't hired great people around you.

31:09Potentially that's true, but I'm amazed by the long breaks I see so many successful entrepreneurs take. And I'm like, I don't know many personally that are that successful that are on vacation every other month. Now I know a lot of people listen to this and go, that's because you haven't figured it out, man. You gotta have systems. You gotta have people in place. I got systems. I got people in place. I'm also a business owner and I know what that's like. I'm just curious. And by the way, completely feel free to disagree with me on that if you disagree, but what are your thoughts on that? I think it's, you know, everything is about what you want out of life.

31:37And a lot of people are okay with, not a lot of people are okay. A lot of people are thrilled with hanging out at every softball game with the kids, like my dad did, which is incredible in being around family and in not being a billionaire. Like totally agree with that, Which is beautiful. Absolutely. I'm on board for it. I am a psychopath that wants to be a multi-multi-billionaire. Why? I'm not really sure. I think it's fun right now. Maybe at some point I'll change that. And it's not really for ego. I don't really buy anything fancy. I'm not like I have a nice watch. I kind of like clothes. But I just like the game.

32:11I like the game. And so I think for those people, how I see them is like, okay, you're at this level. You want to stay a level four? That's awesome. But now I know you're a level four entrepreneur. Yeah. And I don't partner with level four entrepreneurs. I help level four entrepreneurs. I support you. I hope you find joy and help in the things that we do, but I don't partner with you. And every time I've broken that rule and haven't dug deep enough, it's where I fucked up and I've gotten into a bad partnership. Yeah. I want to make sure that my audience knows. I completely agree with that, by the way.

32:42And I've changed. As I've gotten older, I'm probably less that intense person in the sense that I am now more appreciative of the time. And I have such admiration for people who, whatever it is you want in your life, you get that. To me, a happy life is show me your kind of your blueprint for your life. And if you're living it, you're successful, whatever that is. And as I've gotten older, my blueprint has changed where I want more time. I want more of those other things. I think your audience knows that. I hope so. I want to make sure that I'm clear on that. Having said that, a lot of you that are early stage entrepreneurs, which is what I meant earlier, taking off as trying to get the plane off the ground, it takes a lot of force to get it in the air.

33:27Once it's in the air, it's much easier to be at a cruising altitude to some extent. But I just see so many that I think they think it's at cruising altitude and it's still in the liftoff phase. I guess is the best way to say it. And it's like, man, you're letting off the accelerator an awful lot in the takeoff phase. Whereas you got to be careful because that's what you see on social media. It looks like everyone's in Barbados. Everyone's in Cannes. Everyone's in St. Bart's. That's not where I was when this thing was in the liftoff phase. And the truth is I'm not even there now most of the time.

33:56One little hack, because you're here today. For those of you like, yeah, but I want to have a great life. I would say to you, and I know this is contrary to what they say online, but like at some point, have a home that feels like you're on vacation when you're an entrepreneur. 100%. So that like where my homes are, where I feel like I'm living on vacation so that I don't have to go somewhere all the time. So I kind of like live on vacation and yet work on that vacation all the time. That's sort of the medium place for those of you that want to live a dream anyway. Actually, it's brilliant because we do the same thing.

34:25We'll go for, you know, we have a place in another state and we go and stay there for like two or three months, but I got everything set up. Yes. No different from my office and my other place. And I think that's really, really powerful. Yeah. And so there's a power of place. There's a power of routine. And I think as often as you can stay inside of that is your higher likelihood to succeed. But I also think it's, I mean, people don't really need more people telling them that you're okay. You're perfect the way you are. You don't need to change anything. You can go slower. There's enough of that online.

34:55You think so? Yeah. I think like go on Instagram and have people tell you that working's bad, capitalism's awful, money's bad, and you don't need to work that hard to achieve what you want. And universal basic income is around the corner. I think there's plenty of that. I think actually more people need, hey, it sucks. It's worth it. It's not going to be easy. But then after you have achieved what you wanted out of life, other people can't assert their will as easily on you. That's a fact. It's interesting. I've had this philosophical discussion because I wasn't – I was at most games, but I wasn't the dad who coached the teams.

35:27And there was a part of me as I was coming up and even in line, I wish I had done that. Ironically, I'm now at this age now where the guys who coached the teams, they are grateful they did it, but there's a part of them that's like, now I'm 55 and I'm scared because I'm not financially equipped. I am at risk. I can't care for my parents like they need right now and my family. And so you have to be careful with those choices that you make all the time. It is great to applaud the person who's there all the time and that's a great life. Every sacrifice has a choice. To go back to the sacrifice thing, don't you think it's important what you said?

36:03I want to just build off of it and have you elaborate on it. I think you need to decide that sacrifice thing in advance. I think what most entrepreneurs do, or just humans, they don't negotiate the price tag in advance. Then while they're going through the effort of doing it, they're expanding and expending all this energy on the internal negotiation. Is it worth it? Oh my gosh, it's costing me this. I didn't know it was going to be that. I think there's brilliance in what you said about on the front end, deciding as a family, as a couple, or as an individual, this is the price I'm willing to pay so that you don't spend all this mental gymnastics negotiating it constantly.

36:39I love that line. You should negotiate the price tag of your sacrifice ahead of time. Brilliant. I learned this from my husband in a lot of ways. He is former military ex Navy SEAL. And so watching him is really interesting because he's so regimented on so many things because he understands that the most important thing you do as a Navy SEAL is not shoot or fight people. It's you make decisions. Your most important weapon is your brain and your ability for that to not fatigue. And so decision fatigue is the biggest enemy in warfare. It's I have to make so many rapid decisions that I need to have a lot of capacity for the important ones and the understanding of when is it important and when is it not.

37:21And so what does he do? He just doesn't negotiate normalcy. So every single day he gets up, he eats the same thing. He does his workout the same way every single day. Workouts are a habit. They are not an option. And as many times as possible, he makes the normal things habitual. And then he gets to have lots of fun and spontaneity around it, but he doesn't allow for decision fatigue. And so I've learned a lot from him on that. What I've learned from you is a lot about the market, particularly like understanding the trends. Like you talk a lot lately about kind of the baby boomer. So there's this big wealth transition with them as well, but there's a career transition.

38:03There's a need. You look at business, I've found, like you look at the explosion of Harley Davidson, for example, when it exploded. it. Why? All these baby boomers wanted that kind of wild lifestyle. You look at the explosion of fast food or diapers. They were all having babies at that time. Then their kids needed to have fast food. So if you trend this group of people, even though there's these other markets, but kind of booming industries follow these folks. So what are your thoughts about that generation in terms of looking at businesses or any of the other generations? And is that something you look at?

38:34Oh, yeah. I mean, it's the wealth transfer that we're happening right now is something that I have never seen numerically before. Never happened before. The only time we have seen such a massive shift in wealth was one we couldn't predict, which was the Industrial Revolution. We couldn't actually predict what that was mean because we were creating it. What's the difference between then and now? Well, now we can predict what that wealth is worth because it exists. Here's the problem. There's something like$68 trillion worth of wealth to be transferred. And yet of that 60 plus trillion dollars, we think, well, what does that mean?

39:07Grandma's gonna pass me down some cash. Uh-uh. Because the assets are actually sitting inside of businesses. And so the wealth transfer, they'll only be about somewhere from, numbers vary, 5 % to 10 % of the wealth will transfer down to most people. 5 % to 10%. The rest of it eviscerates. And why? Because people are living longer, because people are rolling down their businesses, not passing the business forward, because people are reverse mortgaging into their houses in order to deal with the fact that the cost of living for getting older is increasing and their savings haven't increased. The average business owner has 90 % of their wealth tied up in their business.

39:49You know, you're right. Keep going. That's - In their business. So what does that mean? That means, and the numbers track, right? 90 % of wealth in the business, 5 % to 10 % of the wealth gets transferred outside of the business. So if we don't transfer the 90 % by buying these businesses, it eviscerates. Totally different than the industrial revolution. which just allowed for more innovation. And so I think that it is the most important time ever to learn to become a dealmaker in some way, shape, or form because when else are you going to have this sort of waterfall cascade effect? Not easy, but numerically very likely.

40:24Oh my gosh. Of all the discussions I've had on that wealth transfer, I've never heard that statistic of the 5 % or 10%. I'll send you the link afterwards. Yeah. And I never even thought about the fact that how much of their wealth is tied up in the businesses because that's totally true. Yeah. Wow. You said something about innovation earlier. I'm curious. It's such a wide ranging, cool conversation. But what are your thoughts about AI and what's going to happen to all of us because of it or with it or nothing? Well, what's interesting is my husband co-runs the Defense Innovation Units, which is part of the Department of Defense's commercial AI portfolio, which basically means that he looks at how all of the AI companies that exist could apply to the defense of the United States.

41:06And so he's ran two AI companies, has another one right now called Nomadic that helps determine where refugee and homeless encampments are in order to properly track them. And so when it comes to AI, I always usually revert to him because I know a lot about automats and car washes and nothing about robots. But one thing I do find fascinating about AI is look what it's done, which makes all the sense in the world. It has capitalized on non-government entrenched, non-super lobbyist intensive, non-regulated industries first. Why? Is that because AI is better off drawing and writing than doing anything else?

41:51No, it's because the attorneys and the financiers are going to fight AI coming in and taking away their jobs first, right? But who's not? The fucking artists. And so what I see is we need to change the way that we think about labor. We thought the robots would take over plumbing. And in fact, that's very hard to do. They're going to take over copywriting because all that is is data analysis. And so I think that boring businesses actually have an even bigger place when it comes to AI because it's very hard to create real life hardware robots to re-roof your house. It's not hard to write a great tweet.

42:31Wow. What do you – okay. Okay. I'm processing that because that is exactly how it's happened. Yeah. It also gives you kind of a point of direction of where to go in terms of businesses you would acquire. I'm going to ask you certain demos, just advice you would give. Tell me. What advice would you give to a 25-year-old right now or your 25-year-old self? Just overall business life advice. I'm going to go through three or four demos with you. Yeah. One would be, I think success is contagious. So you want to get around people whose dream day is your Tuesday. Because then it's just more likely that you will succeed if you were around other people who succeed, which is there's all these studies that show if you hang around other people who are fat, you have a higher likelihood to be fat.

43:14If you hang around with other people who have a six pack, you have a higher likelihood to get a six pack, which is wild. And that's just because behavior is habitual and humans learn from mimicry or imitation. And so I think the most important thing you could do is that old, you are the average of the five people you surround yourself with. I think that's Jim Rohn, right? I think so too. So I would say first it's Cody, stop getting in the wrong rooms. Get into a room like Arate. Get into a room with other people who are winning. That's one. The easiest thing to change in life, I always think you have a who issue, not a how issue.

43:50I rarely know the how. I often can find the right who to solve my problems. That's easy to say, really hard to do. Nobody takes that advice. And then the second thing I would say is I want to learn. I'm obsessed with freedom. I just don't like to be told what to do. I'm like unemployable. I don't want to have to do something I don't want to have to do. And so how do you protect yourself best against other people's pushback? In this world, it's money. Money allows you to have more freedom and more optionality. So if I like freedom and I don't like to be told what to do, I want to figure out how could I have more money because money is just optionality.

44:29And so if that's me, I think that if you want more money, you better understand money. How do you understand money? You go and learn investing. You learn dealmaking. You learn finance. Because unless you can speak the language of money, she's not going to talk to you. And so that's what I would obsess on, even though young Cody was told, you know, that I was terrible at math and that, you know, my math professor at the time, God, I can still picture his face. I remember him in high school saying that I would have, Helen Keller would have a better shot at winning an archery contest than I would going into finance, which I hope he's watching.

45:06That's awesome. And he wasn't wrong. I'm not great at it, but I just wanted to understand it.

45:1418-year-old, should they go to college? Should they go work for somebody? Should they start a business? I know. I don't think you should start a business at 18, typically. Like you can barely handle like normal decisions like, you know, should I drink and drive? At least if you're anything like me. So I probably wouldn't start a business immediately. But man, college is fun, but I'm not sure the RLI is there anymore. I think if you want to go learn business, the best business school is business. So go and work for other people if you are willing to do the gritty, hard, impossible thing of entrepreneurship.

45:49It's still true in our society that people are looked down upon by not having a college degree. And the more prestigious your college degree, the more educated people think you are. So if you can get into Harvard or Stanford or wherever, I can see why you would still want to do that. But in my opinion, your ROI is not going to be there as much as you're credentializing and trying to get other people to feel like you're worthy. So asking yourself that question. I think some of those, that's the hardest one. And I don't know the answer. My answer has been landing lately, similarly to yours. Some of that Stanford-Harvard thing, you do inherit an alumni of relationships and connections.

46:28And to your point earlier about who you know more than the what, you are going to end up being connected at some of these really exclusive places potentially. But they become kind of a breeding ground for non-capitalistic thinking and some other things as well. So it's really a difficult - Did you go to a fancy college? I didn't. I went to play - You went to college. I went to college. I went to play baseball really. And I'm glad that I, in my case, to be honest with you, I don't even know where my degree is. And I didn't even go to graduation. I didn't even walk. And I regret it because Maya Angelou actually gave the address and I wish I would have gone.

46:58I didn't know it was going to be here. Having said that though, I've never utilized my degree, but I took an entrepreneurial path. I have two kids that are both in college. When I add up the expenses and I put that in an account for them and they did go to work for me or an entrepreneur and then the return on that money, to your point, it's really a difficult decision. Then looking forward, the data more and more shows that there's not a gigantic income disparity, that income disparity is shrinking rather between the college graduate and the non-college graduate. So I just don't know. And your point about being young and not making decisions is a part of me that thinks that there's a breeding ground there to mature a little bit.

47:34I really don't know. It's why I asked. I haven't asked that many people, but I wanted to ask you. I feel the same way. I do think that apprenticeship is hugely underrated. And if all you do is go to college, that's probably a missed opportunity. I think there's a huge opportunity to learn, have fun, socialize, let your prefrontal cortex develop, and then simultaneously apprentice under somebody else. I think almost you can follow the things the government makes illegal and that's how you know they might be good for you these days, which is you're not allowed to have unpaid internships. The truth of the matter is interns really aren't worth much.

48:12They're a lot of work. It's like a charity. You're right. That would be my number one advice you just said. That Chinese proverb, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. if when you're young, you can get a close association with a very successful person, potentially in an industry you want to be in. That is so valuable to be under their mentorship. And it is a lot of work for them. It is a lot of work. You're exactly right. It's a blessing if you get it. Okay. One more demo. I'll call it moms, but say single mom. She's 30 years old today, or maybe her husband's got a job, but we'll just take mom, a couple of kids at home, and maybe potentially going, I want to create something.

48:53I want to control my time and my destiny and my future. I want to provide for my children in a way that potentially my current career isn't or won't. I know this is a really hard question, but they're sitting there. They're busy too, right? That mom is busy. She's got work. She's got a couple of kids. She's got a social life. She's got the kids' social life and their games and their sports. At the same time, she doesn't want to wake up at 50 years old and regret not trying to do something in addition, if she so chooses to do something in addition, because that's a pretty damn full life in and of itself.

49:25But if there's a part of her listening to it going, I want something else or more, what would you say to her? I would say, first of all, you're perfectly capable and you can do it. I think a lot of times when you get out of practice said a thing, you don't immediately think you can go back and run the marathon at the same speed that you used to. And so let's be real. If you've been out of the game for a little bit and you're not working and you've been home with the kids, you got to train, which means that you're going to have to go work in a job that's probably not at the level that you want to and work harder at it than you think for a while.

50:01And that's one thing I've seen with people who get out of the workforce. I had a family member that got out of the workforce for a long time. Your world shrinks. You start focusing on different things. You're not at the speed as everybody else at. You're not at the same tech speed that everybody else at. So that's the hard truth is it's going to be a little hard. The wild thing, though, is if you apply yourself for a year working pretty hard in a career again, I think you can turn it around. Goldman Sachs has a re-entrance program for moms who left the workforce and want to come back. That's really good.

50:32The second thing that I would say for those working moms. So we have an institute where we teach people to buy small businesses. And we put 3 ,000 people through. And I'm pretty data-based, so I like to analyze who succeeds, who doesn't, what happens. One trend I've noticed, women don't negotiate as well as men. Categorically, they have a harder time negotiating. A lot of times when you go to buy a business, at the end, the seller's like, oh, well, this extra thing, or let's throw this in, or I didn't realize that. Women give a lot more on those. So if I was going to tell women to go learn one skill, it would be negotiation.

51:06Go try to figure out how to negotiate more salary in the job you have right now. Go try to figure out how to get a higher paid job than you do right now. And you need to get that negotiation muscle going up because you guys learn from a young age how to do it as guys. You know, you're always giving each other shit. You're kind of mean to each other. You get used to that. You get used to rejection because you're going up to women and they're telling you to pound sand. We don't have any of that as women. And so we have to build up that negotiation muscle. And that's one of the biggest weaknesses I've seen in a lot of women who go to buy businesses.

51:36So I would obsess on that. And then you can be exemplar at it. You just don't have as many reps as guys do typically. Your work's so brilliant. By the way, I want to say one thing. I don't think I would be here in my case if my mom wasn't a stay-at-home mom. I just want to make sure that I say that because I came from somewhat of a dysfunctional family with my dad being an alcoholic. And so the most important thing my mother did for our family was be there for me, raise me, care for me. When I came home from school, it was my mom who got my report card. So those of you that are moms that are doing that and that fulfills you, that is the most awesome thing in the world.

52:11I am the son of a stay-at-home mom. And I can tell you assuredly, based on where my dad was at in my upbringing, that if my mom wasn't home, at least in my case, I don't think I would be where I am today. So that's one of the things that's really more difficult, as you say, for women than men is like, am I supposed to want more? And if I do, should I feel guilty if I want more? If I don't, am I not striving to grow and be better? And whatever works for you and is right for you is the answer, by the way. Yeah, that's true. Speaking of that. Did she find something, like one thing I see with my generation, I'm 37.

52:45I see a lot of my friends who stayed home with their kids. Now the kids are kind of grown up a little bit. They don't need them as much. And I've seen a trend where now they want, whether that's societally based or not, they want something that's theirs, not necessarily work or otherwise. But did she have that? No. And by the way, I think I always wanted that for my mom after the kids were gone. Now, ironically, since my dad passed away, I think she's become a much more independent person. I think that generation, to some extent, maybe, it was a very traditional relationship. My dad was the man of the house he provided.

53:23And yet my mom was the stability in a very unstable environment. I have three sisters and a mom. I think it's why most of my best friends in this space are the women in the space. And I think it's because I had such a stabilizing factor with my mom in my life. we would not have had a family without my mom. And so, but no, I wished that for my mom as we had left. I was looking for that for my mom, but my mom has actually since I think found it since my dad passed away, but that was awfully late in life. Great question. And it leads to my next one. It's not really a business thing. It's just a life thing, but business is connected to it.

54:00Do you think, you travel a lot, you're around a lot, and I do too. It just dawned on me this weekend, I was flying back and I was just talking to a bunch of different people. do you think most people are happy and if not why not no and i have some unique insight into this lately because i've become friends with a guy by the name arthur brooks do you know him i do he wrote the book with oprah right yeah you had him i think they were scheduled to be on and i had to reschedule okay i should he's an incredible human okay he's so good in polish you'll have to rattle him out of his polish a little bit shake him to get yeah um because he's been doing this for so long, but I've known him for many years through the think tank.

54:39And what's fascinating is the studies tell us, no, that on average in the US, we have two things happening to our happiness. We have what's like a climate effect. So three to 5 % decrease in happiness every single year. And then we have what is called a weather pattern effect in happiness, which would be like COVID, 15 percentage point drop in happiness during COVID that we have never recovered. And what's fascinating to me about the happiness epidemic is Arthur nails it. He talks about what drives happiness because he runs the Happiness Institute at Harvard. And in his 30 years of research, it's basically very simple.

55:16It's faith, family, friends, and work that serves. Those four things in all of his research are what he has found leads to happiness. And yet what is under attack in this country? Faith, family, friends, and work that serves. People say these days, you shouldn't have to work. I hate my job. I'm quiet quitting. Okay. People have the lowest level of faith that we've seen since the founding of the country. People on average, there are more than three times more people today that say that they have never had a deep conversation with another human than at any point in history. Never in their whole lives.

55:56And that there's 30 % of people that say that nobody knows them well. Not one person truly knows them. And then we have obviously the fact that we have people getting married later, decrease of family, and belief that the nuclear family is actually a bad thing. And so the good news is it's pretty easy to fix. If you want to be happier, be a better friend because then you'll get better friends. If you want to be happier, be better to your family, whether self-made or otherwise. If you want to be happier, believe in something, whatever your faith might be. And if you want to be happier, do work that you think is meaningful.

56:28Very good. That's it. Really, really good. Yeah, I have this theory. I'll attach something to that. Just curious what you think about it. I think each soul, each human is born with a desire to express their being, express who they are. So like we talked about my mom, in my mom's case, I believe my mom's form of expression was through her family and serving her family and contributing to her family. She expressed her giftedness and her nurturing that way. I think for someone like you or I, it's the expression of our being through business. For me, business is an expression of me. It's an art form and a science.

57:03So is my speaking. So is doing a podcast. It's a form of expression. I think about, it may sound odd, but I think someone like your husband that's a Navy SEAL, one of the ways he expressed himself is in being a defender of the country and a masculine person and standing for certain principles and standards and living a particular way. He's expressing himself, right? Or an artist expresses themselves. A carpenter expresses themselves through the work that they do. So I think that happy people have found that form of expression to some extent as well. And unhappy people have this internal conflict of knowing they're an unexpressed being still.

57:45And I feel strongly about that. I'm curious with you. And I don't know if you've ever been asked this before. One, am I crazy about that theory? And are you happy most of the time? I think you're right. You're a very serious person. I am serious. I think you're right. That tracks for me. I think that that seems reasonable that I have a saying that I stole from Emma Bombeck, which is when I stand before God at the end of my days, I hope I can say to him that I have not one drop of what you gave me left. I have squeezed it all. And it's sort of like that Hemingwayism. I want to slide into the pearly gates, bruised, beaten, and trodden, right?

58:24And so when you hear those lines, if you're alive, you feel it. You feel it. You feel alive. And I think when you feel those lines, when you get that tingle, that's when you know that it's truth. And so I think you're right. I've never heard it as they're unexpressed beings, but I think that is it. And that is why I'm really glad that there are people like you on the internet and why even though many times people like you and I don't want to do it anymore because there's a lot of downsides to it. I think it's really important because people need to hear the anti message today, which is that it is okay to strive for things.

59:01In fact, that may be what you're placed here to do. Not the newest Gucci bag or whatever, but to strive for what are you capable of? I want to know. I want to know. Not every day. Some days I'm tired, but most days. So do I. And you talked about faith earlier. Like one, prayer is a form of expression to me. And also prayer is a way of getting divine information about how that expression should take form in your life. And so that's why that part of our lives, for those of us that have it, is the most important part of our life because we are aware of our mortality. I've said at the end of my life, I just want to make sure I maxed out my life.

59:40I want the Lord to go, well done, good and faithful servant, get in here. But at the same time, I also want him to... I have this weird theory that he introduces you to who you could have been. Oh, yeah. And you meet her and you want to end up landing their identical twins. If you end up being complete strangers, that's hell. Oh, wow. This is who you could have been, what you could have accomplished, all those other things. And heaven, some form of heaven is meeting her someday and going, I know you. Oh, I like that. I've been chasing you all my life. Yeah. And she looks back at you and goes, you caught me.

1:00:10You maxed out, right? And by the way, one of the things I admire about you so much is I see a human being in pursuit of that. And I think like real recognizes real in that sense, right? Like like-minded people gravitate to one another. By the way, this is one of the best conversations we've ever had on the show. I agree. I'm learning so much. Well, I don't know about that. I'm just trying to contribute to what you're saying. But let me ask you last. if someone's listening to this, because you're just such a treasure of information about diverse topics, someone's sitting there just overall, and they're like, this is a general question, but I know you'll give a great answer.

1:00:45I want to change my life. I listen to shows. I listen to my lead. I'm now watching you on social media, which they should be if they're not. I really feel this desire to change my life. I want to express my being bigger and better and more specifically, where do I begin? I haven't been for so long. You've been at full speed since college. Let's just be honest. Yeah. Okay. Someone listening that's not been. Yeah. And they're like, I'm waking up right now. I'm awakened. I'm excited and inspired. Do I go buy a business right now? Or like, what do I go do? What would you recommend I do to begin that process of change in my life?

1:01:28Make one big, physical, almost irreversible change. And the reason why is I think the easiest thing to do is what? Is move your body. The easiest thing to do is decide to not put something in your mouth that you wanted to put in your mouth before. It's actually the physical stuff that's easy. The mental stuff is really hard. And we talked about this before too. And so if I wanted to change my life, I would pick something that It felt uncomfortable, but I knew I needed to change physically. So that might be move. Move out of your city right now. Move to a city where the game you want to play is being played.

1:02:04If you want to be in real estate, move to the city where you think you can learn that. If you want to be in media, come to Austin. Everybody in media is in Austin. But move physically. I think we did a study actually looking at traditionally successful people at the highest level. So let's say eight figure plus in net worth, if that's how we're going to define it. How many of them had never left their hometown even to go to college? I could find one. One. And so, okay, maybe that's step one. Physically move yourself because that's hard to do. And maybe step two is, you know, you do this. Physically work out to the point which is totally uncomfortable.

1:02:45Because I do think our mind follows our body. Tony Robbins, you, so many people have told us this again and again and again, and there is no excuse for not doing it. And so that would be the first thing that I would say, just make a big, huge commitment. And that's why I'm such a big fan of Andy Frisella. I mean, I had a, I had a, she's, I call her my cousin, but she's just a very dear family friend. And she lost like, I don't know, a hundred pounds on his stuff. And we were yelling at her for years to try to do it. And when she decided to make that one big irreversible change that she couldn't go back on, then her life completed change.

1:03:20Then she found somebody she loved. Then she found a business she really liked. And so I don't teach health or fitness or I don't have a moving company, but I might choose one of those things. And then I think the money gets figured out. I think you're extraordinary. Oh, thank you. Seated my expectations. Oh, yay. You guys already know this. I mean, I sought her out, pursued her. Wasn't easy at first. I think it took me three messages maybe. I'm terrible at DMs. No, but it was great. And then she was gracious enough to come here in person, which I'm really glad we did. I always like in person. It's my new thing that I don't want to go on other people's podcasts if they're not in person.

1:03:55Because if I don't want to make a commitment to have that conversation, then I'm not sure it's a conversation I need to have at that moment. I'm grateful you made the commitment. This was extraordinary today. Thank you. Yeah. And when the book comes out, I'll have you back on. Yeah, 100%. I would love that. Oh, that'd be amazing. No, no, we're going to do that. You guys, this was Cody Sanchez today. She's incredible. Go follow her on social media. That way you can just get all of her information and when her books come out and different things she's offering. She has a, I just call it like a contrarian true approach to business and life that resonates with me.

1:04:26And I'm pretty sure that it resonated with all of you guys. Share today's episode, everybody. People need to hear this. So much great information today. I told you you'd want to take notes, listen to it again and write it down. All right, everybody. God bless you. Max out. This is the Ed Mylon Show.