This One Idea Will Change How You Think About Your Entire Life | Ed Mylett

28:09And so if you're on YouTube and you're watching this, you recognize her face probably immediately. If you're on audio, I can tell you that she's done a lot of stuff. She's maxed out a lot of areas of her life. She's been a television host. She's an actress. She even dabbled in the WWE. She's a sought-after person of inspiration and coaching now in the world. She's also a wife, and she's become a friend of mine. And I'm excited about the conversation today because I think she's going to share with you some insights and perspective that she's uniquely qualified to deliver to you. So Maria Menounos, thank you for being here today.

28:49Thank you. I'm so honored to be on your show. Lessons of wisdom. So most people face their death at the end of their life when they're too old potentially to change anything about it because they're about to die. you were given a gift to some extent of facing a threat to your life right or the way of life at least you could have woken up and not been able to walk talk think the same oh i woke up trust me i had issues yeah i've seen i've seen some of the videos which i know on youtube we will put up right now but my eyes were going crazy they thought i was they gave me eye patches because i was seeing triple because the nerve that controls the right side of my face is the one that was most affected because as you tried to peel the tumor off of it um it was damaged so yeah it was a little crazy for a while but I had solutions instantly I was like dreaming up my like superhero character I was gonna have this superhero like alter ego but it was gonna be my permanent ego I guess and I was gonna have my patch and I was designing these like thigh high boots I was gonna be the sickest living superhero but um you know I love solutions I want to go back I just curious, do you think like you were given this because you're, you, you're equipped to handle it the way you are too?

30:06Like, do you believe in it? Yeah, I do. I think that I probably was given it because I could show people another way. Yeah. I didn't know it as I was doing it, but when I look back, I'm like, you know, it's hard to create a path, a new path, right? So when someone shows you something's possible, then you can follow, right? So to me, as I'm coaching patients through these things. I'm always like, you have a choice. Like, trust me, it worked for me. Like you can do it too. Why wallow and cry and call your friends and be like, Oh my God, I have that. Like you have a choice and you know, there's another path for you.

30:44So yeah, I think I'm a communicator. I think I was going to be able to hopefully impact people and get them to understand that they are connected to something greater. And if they listen to it, the answers always appear like that chemotherapy thing that appeared. I, I, I meet someone new. I know it's for a reason and it's for whatever's happening in my life in the moment or to come. Um, everything is intentional. And so, um, everything also, I don't want to interrupt you there, but like you and I are both big believers that everything you need is within you now. And you started out, you started early in the interview by saying something amongst so many brilliant things, which is that if you'll get quiet and listen, you have the answer.

31:27And I think that was so beautiful, but I don't want to cheat the audience out of letting you answer. Cause I asked you two questions back to back there. This taught me. What about life? Would you say? Um, probably so much. I think it taught me that your life, it really is about your choices. Um, that we have more power than we know and more, um, choices and that it really is, um, it really is about your health and your, your fulfillment and your happiness and the love you have with your people, you know, whoever your people are, that's the only thing that matters in that last moment. Right. So I kind of had that moment, right.

32:11Where you're like, Oh, what's going to happen. Um, am I going to be okay? Am I not going to be okay. Well, guess the only thing that mattered is the fact that I had Kevin and that he loved me and that I loved him and my parents and my dogs and, um, and all of that. You know, I've, I've had some friends who were having some rocky times in their relationships and, you know, it's so easy to be tempted and say, Oh, I'm just going to go have fun with all these new people. And yeah, we're going to get divorced and that's it. I'm like, okay, but guess what? when you're sick she's your ride or die she's gonna take care of you this other person yeah you can go have fun that's gonna be it and so I've actually mended a few relationships because of this knowledge and it's true like that's all you have in the end is your relationships and your health and your love and yeah I've had friends I want to ask you this because it seems like it didn't happen with you.

33:09And I know we're going deep, guys. I know today's been heavy, but I want to give you the gift of this woman. You know, I feel like for some reason, your story's more relevant right now, Maria, than it's ever been with all of, I think a lot of people think they're going through a crisis in their life right now. And perhaps it's, there's some perspective given here as well, also tools. But I've had friends, we've all had this, everybody. We've had an experience. We've watched a movie and it makes us think something different about the way we're going to be around our children or our parents. And it lasts for three days.

33:44And then we're back before, or we've had a business setback or a relationship breakup. And we promise ourselves, if I have another chance at a relationship, I'm going to do it this way next time. And then we don't, and we go back into our old patterns. Patterns are incredibly powerful things in our life as you and I both know an awful lot about. But it's been a few years now for you. It seems to me that this had a real impact on you. Is it because you regularly remind yourself of the incident? Is it because I want people to create lasting change in their life. And even today, listening to you, a lot of people right now are reflecting on their perspective, on their coping skills, on what really matters, on reducing their stress levels, on their nutrition, on the people they love, on all of these things, on laughing more and smiling through the shot, right, and all of those things.

34:38But this change seems to have been, I don't want to call it permanent, but it's been long lasting for you and I hope it to be permanent. How have you done that? Was it just a massive pattern interrupt this one incident or is there something else you've done that you just don't allow yourself to lose that moment? Yeah, I think I was going against my grain for a really long time, unknowingly. And once you're in that kind of rat race, right, you just, you're in it. And so for me, when I got out of it, I was like, okay, this is a rebirth. I am making major changes to my life and I want them to stick.

35:18And so I almost like, you know, when like yogis have to practice, like they have to give up their material possessions. I wanted to give everything up. I was trying to sell everything. I was trying to go real extreme. And my husband was like, ow. But I knew that to hold onto it, I was going to have to really protect it carefully. And whenever I would go out and do any public speaking, people would come up to me and say like, I had this too. And then I went back to my old ways. And anytime someone said that to me, that was just another reminder. And so I also have the gift of still having a brain tumor.

35:51And that is my constant reminder of leading a calm life, choosing the people I want to work with, choosing the people I want to be around. And all of the weekly lessons on my show, keep me grounded in that space too. And so I, I really held onto it because I needed it. I was, I was suffering so much before and didn't know how to get out of it. This was my get out of jail free card. I was, I was stuck in a dream that wasn't my dream anymore. So, you know, a lot of us start off in life and we have a dream and then we accomplish it. And then we kind of get stuck there because then we're accomplishing and it's easy and it's easy and it's easy and it's easy, but then you're just doing what's easy and no challenge, no growth comes right.

36:48And then imagine if you're in toxic situations where people don't want you to grow on top of it and they're holding you down or whatever. And so for me, I was stuck in a dream that wasn't my dream anymore. And I needed to reinvent and I needed to change my whole life. And for me, this, this new chapter has been about all of that kind of spiritual and emotional growth. And I will say, and I say all the time, if I hadn't been doing the work with Tony and those seminars, I wouldn't have been prepared for this moment because I had those tools in my belt. I had the life is happening for me, not to me.

37:23I was able to eventually apply it to my mom too. And then realize that the gifts from my mom are what I'm learning that I can impart on people. So she's like almost like my, my Guinea pig, right? Like I'm experimenting on her and being like, wow, that works. We can apply this over here to all these people. When I look back at when I was little, I always wanted to help people. I love solutions. And, um, and, and, and I, I look at my books, everything I've written, everything I've done is always about helping people. My network after best TV, it's about helping people. And so I love helping people.

38:00So I'm able to apply those things for my mom over to everybody else. And, um, and it fills me. And so I, I knew that I had to hold onto it really tightly. And do I falter sometimes now? Like, you know, I'm going through a challenging time and I have to keep relying on my tools and I have to keep remembering, you can't allow these situations that aren't real to take your health. And it can be challenging in moments, but I bounce back really fast because of all of it now. I got to tell you, I told you that today was going to be for me. You said when you were a little girl, you wanted to help people.

38:36I thought you helped me today. And, and, uh, I know you've helped this, this, I hope everyone stayed to the end here because that idea of being stuck in a dream that's no longer your dream oh man are there millions of people including me and some of the things I do every single day still that those are old dusty dreams frankly that I'm just in because I'm good at them yeah easy for me and I get significance and recognition for staying in that dream and I might lose some if I didn't stay in it and I think that was another one of your gems of the entire day by the way her show better together you guys is awesome she has a way as a host obviously she's a professional host I'm an amateur but she has this way of um the guest is the star yet you contribute when you're doing it it's a it was a very easy experience to be on your show and I highly recommend it to everybody because she is so unique with her background her ability to communicate the tools she shares throughout the show and just her real desire that I hope I share as well as just really serve people So before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify.

39:50We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. Today's special. And I mean that. We were just having a conversation, you know, offline, off camera. We're both already getting emotional about what we know we're going to discuss today. I really admire this man. and when we're done with this hour today, your life will be better. It'll be different. It'll be improved because that's what he does because he's done it in his own life. Nine years old. This man was nine years old, a little boy, nine years old, and was burned over 100 % of his body.

40:26I want you to just think about that for a second. And what comes with that, with all of the recovery, all the shame, all of the scars, the difficulties that that could present in one's life, but also the keys to becoming successful that you can learn from coming from that type of pain, that type of struggle. So I have a very highly qualified person today to talk about moving from victim to victor, the mindset required, the strategies, the tactics, and just overall, you're going to be inspired by this man's spirit. He's an author, a couple of different books on fire. There's seven choices to ignite a radically inspired life.

41:01He's got another book called in awe that we'll talk about as well. John O 'Leary, really grateful you're here today, brother. man i i've already cried twice before we hit reports i'm not even looking forward to where this thing is going to go next because i think it's going to be emotional and real and ultimately practical for your audience so man i'm thrilled to be on your show oh brother the feelings are mutual and i'm so grateful you're here let's go all the way back let's at least set the tone for a second so you're nine years old kids in the neighborhood are playing with matches and fire and you go, that's probably a good idea.

41:33And so take us through what happened. It was obviously a turning point very early in your life, to put it mildly. Right. And every one of us have these inflection points. And mine, one of them, took place at nine. You mentioned the kids. They got away with it. I figured I would too, Ed, and I was wrong. My dad was at work. My mother was out. The house was mine. On January 17th, 1987, at about 7.30 in the morning, walked into the garage, bent over a can of gasoline, monkey see monkey do try to pour a little bit of gasoline on top of this piece of paper that i had lit and before the the liquid even came out the fumes pulled my little flame into this can it's a five gallon can stick of dynamite basically went off split the can in two picked me up and then launched me 20 feet against the far side of the garage oh my gosh so that's the starting point of this story.

42:27And, you know, when we were little, you know, you grew up in California was where you were from. I'm from Missouri. We all learned the same thing, man. Stop, drop and roll when you're on fire, stop, drop and roll. And I remember that on the far side of the garage, but dude, everywhere I looked was on fire. Oh my gosh. You know, like the garage immediately was engulfed. And then I looked down and like me too. So I, I, I ran, you know, I did the exact opposite of what you should do, but I self-preservation. I just ran, I ran on fire through the flames into the house. And then I just kept on going.

43:01I ran through the kitchen and the family room. I came into the front hall story. I very seldom share, but it's part of the journey, man. So I enter into the front hall. I'm on top of this rug, just begging and praying for a savior. I know I can't do this by myself. I'll take anybody, anybody. And I see my brother, Jim, who was 17. So he looks at me, I look at him, and I'm screaming and I'm praying. And as Jim is coming toward me, I remember thanking God, anybody else, not him, because he's my older brother. He's not always that nice to me. And yet this is his day, man. He picks up a rug. He swings down into the flames.

43:39The flames are leaping three feet off of my body in all directions. Oh my gosh. He keeps beating me with this rug. After swinging down like three or four times, he drops his little rug because he caught. And, you know, I know you're a big Y guy, big purpose-driven guy. Like when you touch something hot, what you naturally do, if your life is about you, is you drop it and you retreat. You don't do one more to use your length. You don't do one more. You save yourself, man. But that's what we do if it's only about us. What do we do if it's not about us, if it's about something bigger than us? And that's what Jim is about to prove out here.

44:15He picks the rug back up. He comes back into the fight. He swings down a fourth and a fifth and a sixth, and ultimately two and a half minutes later, beats down the fire enough to carry me outside, jump on top of me, roll me around on the grass, runs back into the house, calls 911. And that's the beginning of our story toward recovery. But it began with an unlikely hero stepping up and making a difference in my life. Unbelievable. Sorry, I don't know why I know the story, why it makes me so emotional. I just picture this little boy. I don't know. I just, I'm getting emotional now. And I know this story.

44:52I've heard it, like, even last night preparing again, my wife's like, are you okay? I'm like, I'm all right. Because your brother kind of wasn't that good to you all the time, like any big brother is. And he catches fire himself, burns himself to save you. And it's just amazing. You have this, you talk a little bit, and we'll keep going with the story. but I heard you say something about everyday people becoming someone else's miracle. Is that the way that you said it? Something along those lines. And that's sort of what Jim did for you. And it's, so I wrote a book years ago called On Fire. And if you look at On Fire, when they first published it, there was a picture of O 'Leary wearing a suit, looking at the reader, like arms crossed, like look at me, people.

45:31And I wrote them back and I'm like, hey guys, before you come up with the cover art, read the book. Because that book is not about me. It's about ordinary people, man, doing extraordinary things well. Brothers and sisters and parents and neighbors and EMTs and doctors and nurses and custodial staff and radio announcers, ordinary folks doing work well. And so when they came back with the cover art in round two, there's no picture of John. And I don't mind pictures of me, but there's no picture of John. It's a picture of the words on fire in like gold and red and orange flame, mirror like material.

46:06So when people see the book, they don't see my picture. They see theirs. Literally, you can see yourself in the cover. And it's my hope when people check that out or check out our work, they don't recognize how good I am or how much I went through. They recognize how good they are, how called they are, and how much potential they have in their lives to be part of someone else's miracle. Unbelievable. Yeah, man. That's the call to recognize the gifts that you have and then use them. A 17-year-old boy does this, though. That's just what blows my mind about it. So let's keep going here because your parents are central figures too.

46:39And so are you, you know, one thing I didn't consider, um, with being burned like that is the recovery, which we'll get to, which is really the rest of your life to some extent, which I think people forget, like the incident itself is horrific. And this precious little boy burning to death. But before, before we get there, now you're in the hospital, you're given everybody, I want you to understand this, a 1 % chance to live, just to live, nevermind ever stand up. or walk, just standing up was like off the table for the most part. Living is 99 % not going to happen. And you're in the hospital, and I'm sure you're in excruciating pain.

47:16Take us through what that part of it was like, and then this moment where your dad arrives. And by the way, the way you describe it, I'm picking my dad, I could just hear my dad's footsteps stomping down the hall, you burn the house down, you know, what took place in those moments? So I love your dad. I love your love of your dad. I love the mistakes your dad made. And I love the choices he made afterwards to do better. So like I love, I honestly love your dad. He brings me to tears. And my dad lived a different path than yours. But I think we both look up to our fathers in the same degree. Like I'm in awe of your dad and mine.

47:52My dad was a veteran. He's a business owner. He's type A. He's kind of one of those guys, man. But he was fair. He was fair. He was good. But I blew up his house. So like, I'm nine. I know what I did. I know it was wrong. So the pain you mentioned in the question isn't actually the pain I was thinking about. The pain I was thinking about wasn't amputations or burn care. It was my father's wrath. And then I hear the voice of the line down the hall. He's roaring at some poor nurse. Where is my boy, John? This girl does me no favors. She brings him back into the room, pulls back the curtain. He marches in.

48:32My dad did not walk. He marched. He marches into this room, points down at me, and then he lit me up. And I had word for word what he said to me. And I remember it today like it happens this morning. He said, John, look at me when I'm talking to you. So I uncrossed my arms and looked up at him. And then he added, I have never, I've never been so proud of anybody in my entire life. And my little buddy, you look at me when I'm talking to you. I'm just proud to be your dad. And then he goes, this is just love language, man. He goes, I love you. I love you. I love you. And there's nothing you can do about that.

49:19Oh, dear. and after hearing this man i i crossed my arms and shut my eyes and i read this is true i remember thinking oh my gosh nobody told my dad what happened well the old man doesn't know i burned out but dude i didn't get grace and unconditional love and the way a parent feels for a child like that that's what i didn't get and that day my dad showed it to me and it's not going to make life easy love but i think it's going to make it possible And so my dad is just exhibit A of courageous, unconditional love in my life. Yeah. And what that can do, I mean, what you've turned out to become in your life, I think that was that your life right there.

50:02The it's not the events of our life that define us, I think. I think it's the meaning that we take from it. And you could have instantly been told what this means is you're a terrible young man. You're a bad boy. And this is why you write about this so beautifully. But the word that comes to mind is grace. in the first lesson of this interview for me, you'd think it'd be resiliency and toughness because obviously you exhibited a ton of that. But for me, the first lesson of this is grace, which is connected to our faith. But it's grace. Your dad gave you grace and gave you love when he could have gone the other direction.

50:36And so often in life, the easy path is to be critical, to be harsh, to hurt others, because it may even feel justified when we do it. But great people exhibit grace in moments that define their lives and the lives of other people. Don't you agree? Yes. And it's not seen that often in our society. Many of the leaders that we look up to are the ones that offer the least amount of grace out there. They're very quick to judge on Twitter or whatever other instrument they're using right now, that bullhorn at bringing other people down. Grace isn't about that. Grace doesn't hide from the brokenness of the world.

51:10It just has the power to redeem it, not just judge it, but work to redeem it. And there's a profound gap between the two. Wow. That is really well said, man. Like that's go back and rewind 40 seconds there, everybody. That is really, really well said. So we got Jim steps up your brother. Turns out you come from a pretty special family, but Jim steps up. I'm going to stop you like that. What the cool thing about us is we're not, it's actually why I'm attracted to your story. And it's why I think others are attracted to mine. We're a middle-class Midwestern ordinary family, Not exceptional in the least.

51:43Jim wasn't exceptional. There's stories of what my sister did the morning that was burned. They weren't exceptional before they did it. They became exceptional in doing it. It was the moment that made them exceptional, not the preparation so much for it. Yeah, by the way, obviously, you know that that's what I mean when I say that. I think what makes this exceptional, what makes your family special is the things that make family special. And that in life, I think we've been programmed to think, well, the special families are the beautiful people or the super smart people or the really gifted people or the rich people.

52:16But the truth is, to me, special is average, ordinary people doing extraordinary things in big moments. And Jim did that. Your dad did it. And your mother taught me a lesson with what she did when you came home and you're having dinner. and I want to talk about this for a second because this is a lesson for everyone with their children but also yourself also yourself this there's a there's a deep lesson in what your mother did here and I'm going to give I know what you mean by the fact that you come from an average ordinary family we both acknowledge we both do but your mother yeah somehow in her discernment as a loving mother did something very special that I think in that moment and And I know it is because you're right about it.

53:02So it's got to be kind of shifted what this was going to be for you. In this moment, and he's going to describe it, I want to just set the frame. You could have easily been the victim now. Or poor boy, he's been burned. Let's just care for him, right? Or in life, my son's getting bullied at school. Or he's struggling at his grades. Or she didn't make the softball team. And there's these moments, or even in our own lives, where we could take the easier path. Your mom, this is extraordinary to me. So take us through that dinner when you come home from the hospital, if you don't mind. Yeah, she's just so awesome.

53:38I had lunch with mom yesterday and mom is a warrior. Mom is married to a man who we talked about already who's had Parkinson's for 36 years. A man who's got his own profound challenges and this warrior just keeps leading him forward in order that he becomes the best version of himself. She demands it of her husband. she demanded of her six kids growing up she demands it of herself and we don't see that a lot in society this expectation of excellence wow perfection because that's impossible this side of eternity but excellence getting a little bit better day after day and so the story i'm about to share is one of a litany that i could bring to bear on my mom so i'm not getting emotional sharing it because again i don't always tell this story man but here we go so i'm i'm nine and i i I got burned bad.

54:26And I spent five and a half months in hospital and it was a street fight. It was hard, impossibly hard to describe. But you go through amputations and skin grafts and surgery and the miracle takes you come home. Something most people did not expect we live into. And then they've rebuilt my house. So this house fire that destroyed everything, it's now rebuilt. That's amazing. The six kids are around the table. That's awesome. The dogs are there. My mom and dad are there. The dinner's on the plate. Awesome. It's all good. The problem is I can't eat. You use the word that I love because it drives me crazy.

55:01The word victim, man, I'm a victim. I'm in a wheelchair. I don't have fingers. My life has been cut short. So although I survived, what kind of life will I live? Not much of one. Just ask me. I'm a victim. And my sister, Amy, who is another one of the heroes in this story, many times over, she grabs a fork. She scoops up a little bit of potatoes and she starts bringing it towards John O 'Leary's mouth. So this little victim boy is about to eat finally. And right before the fork with the potato goodness enters into my mouth, my warrior mother says to Amy, Amy, drop the fork. If John's hungry, he's going to feed himself.

55:42I did like, you know, you, you have a heart, man. So you can imagine what's really going on here. I look at my mom and I said, mom, I can't eat. You know, I'm hungry. My mom doesn't look at me. She looks at Amy and says, Amy, if John is hungry, he will feed himself. And then with that, she just looks back down at her plate and starts eating again, which sounds incredibly cold hearted. That's how I felt for sure. And after begging her to feed me and all this other stuff, long story, Ed made very, very, very short. Two and a half hours into that celebration, formerly, the plate had been flipped twice.

56:22The dogs had been well fed. The kitchen's cleaned. Everyone else is gone. My mom is at the head of the table with me. I think that's important to say. She's there with me. I didn't know that at the time, but she's there with me. And two and a half hours in, this little fellow figures out a way to wedge a fork between his two fingerless broken hands, pick up some cold potatoes, start moving them toward his mouth. and eating and in the entire time I remember chewing on those potatoes I remember thinking I hate my mom. I hate my evil mom. But the key piece there, brother and listeners, if I've not yet rocked you to sleep, I'm eating.

57:06Yeah. Like I'm doing this thing. Yeah. Yeah. And it's really because even as I walked you through that, I hold up this little pen in front of you modeling this. I can write, man. I can dress today. I travel on my own. I'm married, have four kids, have a great business, have a great life. I eat my own meals today, mom. Why is it because I'm that great? The surgeons weren't that great. The therapists weren't that great. An incredibly bold warrior, loving mother sat at the end of the table for two and a half hours as her heart broke, knowing that this little boy would have to figure it out one day and he might as well figure it out on this day.

57:43And I think that decision for her to sit with me that night for two and a half hours changed my life. It's one of the most incredible things I've ever heard. Because of what you said, you think, well, gosh, this person must have some PhD in psychology or, you know, no, this is just a loving mother who loved you enough to let you go through the difficulty of learning to feed yourself. And I really believe that was there's another defining moment where she asks you, do you want to die? right she actually asked you it was your choice am i right about that i mean this is an extraordinary woman and the lessons for my audience from your mom and your dad are pretty extraordinary but do i have that right didn't she say that to you yeah i'm glad you brought it up because i think it it's almost the perfect first page of the story you just asked about so the day i came into the hospital right after my dad walked out my mom walks in so dad was there first then mom and uh I'm dying.

58:40For those of you who have children, if you've ever been in the emergency room with them, you know that you would do anything to take away that pain and take them home right then and there. I'm dying. And mom knows this. And I'm grasping on for hope right now. And I look at her and I say, mama, am I going to die? And when a child asks a question like that, the answer to their hoping for in response is the word no. You're not going to freaking die, dude. What the heck's wrong with you. Who told you that? So I expect her to give me hope, which is a lovely thing to have. But sometimes what we need is truth.

59:13You've talked, you've written about your dad and how someone loved him enough to lay truth in front of him, make a different, different decision. So she lays in front of me truth. And she says, baby, do you want to die? Your choice, not mine. Like the decision point of life right here, man, it's in the emergency room. It happens right now. We're not waiting for tomorrow because tomorrow is not promised. Do you want to die? Your choice, not mine. And I look at her as a scared nine-year-old boy. And I said, mom, I don't, I don't want to die. I want to live. So she says, good baby. Look at me. You take the hand of God.

59:47You walk the journey with him and you fight like you never fought before. Your father and I will be with you. We are not leaving you, but do your part. You fight too. and that like day one man i'd never heard of skin grass or bandage and i had no idea what the journey would entail all i knew was the first right step take the hand of god know the mom and dad are with me but do my part fight i'm so grateful i'm getting to experience this with you i just want you to know that sometimes in an interview i don't know what's wrong with me i'm like really emotional some see when we before the interview you were giving me some praise And I said to you, I said, look, man, I say nice things.

1:00:27I said, you are an embodiment of moving from victim to victor. You embody it. And the word embody, I mean, you literally embody this because you went through torture when you made that decision. You know, I have not gone through it, but I do have, I've had Israel del Toro on my show who was burned pretty severely in Iraq. And so I have had some insights into the absolute hell and torture that being burned like what you had to your body, 100 % of your body means. And so this story of your mother and your father and your brother are just remarkable stories to me. I want to shift and go forward because I think there's a massive lesson here with you, which is that once you got through, well, you're never totally through it.

1:01:16John still suffers from the who gets some sores and different things right now in his life. Am I right about that? You still there's still you still reminded all the time of the difference with you compared to what it may or may not have been. True. It is true. And ironically, and it's through the actions of one of my sisters that we probably won't speak about today, but my face is not burned. So when you look at me at glance across a coffee bar, you see a very ordinary looking guy. but right below that face starts the neck and from the neck to my toes, it's third degree burns. So, um, although I look at first glance, well, you know, dark hair, dude, you know, normal looking fella.

1:01:57Yeah. Right below that though, it, it, it, uh, falls apart. So I've burns and scars and sores, like you mentioned from my neck to my toes, it's a constant daily reminder of what I've been through. What about though, this is what I want to ask you. This is where I think people, this is a massive, oh my gosh, moment for my audience. and it was for me. You sort of hid the story most of your life. In other words, which is ironic because we're talking about it now, but you spent most of your life trying to say, no, no, no, I'm normal. I'm normal. I'm normal. I'm normal. And I think you have somehow discovered in the process that the real beauty in life is being vulnerable, authentic enough, courageous enough to reveal the scars in our life, metaphorically and literally.

1:02:42So we all have scars. Like I have found when I've been willing to finally talk about my childhood with my dad, that the impact I've made is much greater. I think most people think, oh, my divorce disqualifies me from being successful or happy, or this, my sin has, or, you know, my financial failures or some part of me that's inadequate, my scars, my weaknesses disqualify me. And you spent a pretty decent part of your life sort of trying to hide your scars. So talk, speak to that for everybody. Cause I think everyone needs to, this is maybe one of the great life lessons you'll ever hear everybody.

1:03:16And it may be, maybe going into 2023, which is coming soon. For those of you listening at this time, maybe it'll be a different year for you after you hear John speak to this. So go ahead, John. Well, it's a lot of pressure on me. So hopefully we live into it together, Ed, let's change years, man, for individuals. The cool thing is our conversation reminds them that they can do this in their lives. So like, it's not my job, but it is our job collectively to do this work. And it is possible. You gotta eat your own potatoes. Yeah, that's right, brother. When you're burned as badly as I was, the dream in life is not ultimately to end up on your show, Ed, or to become a speaker myself.

1:03:53Right. My dream was to be ordinary. Like all I wanted out of life was to disappear. And I did that for a long time, for 20 years. Like I started my own business, but I started my own business to not interview with people because I was so shy, man. I don't like being judged. So rather than being judged, just do my own thing. So I did that. I never told anybody how I was burned. I went to college and all this stuff, but never told fraternity brothers or roommates what had happened to their roommate or fraternity brother. It was my story, my scars, my past. We're not going there. And then two things happened over the course of three days that changed my life.

1:04:30And this is the way the universe or God works. I think if you're paying attention, I'm 28 years old and in a church service on a Sunday, a pastor is talking about talents. And as a, as a Midwesterner, I'd always known what I had one talent intellectually. You and I share that you talk about being the least intelligent in your family. Me too. And I'm not exaggerating. I'm not that intelligent. I'm not that good looking. I'm not that athletic. I'm not that driven. All these things I'm not. So I'm not, I'm not talented. So he says, if you got five, double, three, multiply one. Now he's looking at me.

1:05:02And he talks about how you're called to do something with that talent. And he gave us a pathway forward to multiply that talent to do something mighty with the gifts we have. Even if it's only one gift, do something, man. Do something. And for those of you in the audience, if you've ever been in a big room, but it seems like someone's looking at you when they're talking. Like this pastor's looking at me. Two days later, I'm working. And I'm doing construction at that time. I ran my own development business. Which is hilarious to me, by the way. You're burned. You've had amputations. You don't have your fingers.

1:05:32You decide to be in carpentry or like construction, which I think is just another part of the story. That's great. But go ahead. Well, it's ridiculous. It was the way without knowing it because I'm not that self-aware of proving to the world I'm worthy. Yeah. And I can't prove it yet to myself when I don't recognize I'm already worthy. I'm always trying to prove it to everybody else, man. So just look at what I'm doing now. I'm building. I'm on a ladder. I'm earning all these things. I'm proving you how normal I am. But I wasn't. And I'm not confident, that's for sure. And on that Tuesday morning, my phone rings and it's a little girl.

1:06:04And she says, Mr. O 'Leary, would you speak at my school? And Ed, I've never spoken anywhere. But I said yes. On the heels of that conversation from Sunday, where if you have one talent, multiply it. Okay. So I said yes to this little girl. I practiced to talk for 40 hours, walked in front of this room, had my notes in front of me, never looked up at the little monsters. And that's my first gig, man. Three Girl Scouts in St. Louis County. Wasn't even paid with a box of Samoas. So there's no income, man, coming out of this thing. Oh my gosh. And on the walkout, these little girls are hugging me, which was sweet.

1:06:40And then one of the dads says, dude, that was killer. Would you speak at my Kiwanis meeting? Never heard of Kiwanis, but yeah. One of those guys was a Rotarian. One of those guys was Chamber of Commerce. And we just kept saying yes. No goal in mind. And I know you're a big goals guy, me too. But the goal back then was to be open to yes. And it led over time. And if you want to rewind and ask more about it, we can. But it led to 2 ,500 events, a couple million people live, tens of millions virtually, by being willing to vulnerably say yes to that first group of three Girl Scouts. Well, and also say yes to, hey, here's my scars.

1:07:20here's my pain i think that you know it's been said on my show multiple times that we're most qualified to help the person we used to be and and that's awesome there's a great saying also about listen if you really want to impress people try to show them how perfect you are or normal you are to your language but if you really want to impact people reveal to them your imperfections and i don't think enough times in life we i i want my audience to understand this your imperfections are your pathway to you creating change in your own life and other people's lives, if you'll just accept that. And by the way, it doesn't mean we don't work on our weaknesses.

1:07:57What I'm saying to you is that that's your special. When we were talking earlier about, well, my family's average and ordinary. You know what I meant and I know what you meant. And I'm saying that the average ordinary people like myself, like you, that have had something special happen in their life. The irony is the pathway is their mistake, is their scar, is their setback. And so look at that area of your life and decide what can you do with it. And I'm going to tell you, not all the people that went in life are six foot four and hit, you know, run a four, four 40 and could dunk a basketball or are supermodels.

1:08:36That's a really small group of the happy and successful people in life. 99.9 % of the happy and successful people in life are average and ordinary people who have done extraordinary things in very simple ways. I'm curious, though, didn't your parents write a book about this, which is sort of what sort of, again, your parents kind of had to nudge you out there one way or the other. This story was going to get out there. Or do I have the sequence incorrect? No, you're right. And that's how the little girl heard about it. So my mom and dad always wondered how their child's story would end. For the parents in the room, you understand what I'm talking about.

1:09:11They're like, how does this thing go down? They weren't sure, even as I'm progressing through grade school, middle school, high school into college. And on the day you and I are recording this, it's November 22nd as we record. It's the anniversary of the day my wife, Elizabeth Grace, and I married. So this is our 19th anniversary. Happy anniversary. Wow. Dude, I'm honored. So they're in church the night that their son is on the altar wearing this goofy looking tuxedo that doesn't fit right. and then they look behind them and they see this girl in white with brown hair and brown eyes and she's stunning she's gorgeous walking toward the altar and then they see us take hands and my hands are broken and hers are perfect but we say i do and we kiss and we turn around and we walk down this aisle and that's the first time they recognize how the story ends it's actually just how it begins but the painful story of their of their nine-year-old son being burned in it beautifully with a beautiful lady and an incredible life in front of them.

1:10:08So they start writing about this. My dad got Parkinson's. He lost his business. He lost his job. He lost income. He retreats home, writes a little story of his life called overwhelming odds. And they, they write about the miracle they got when they turned this thing, this hopeless story over to God, and they got their son back in more ways than one. So they print a hundred copies, only a hundred copies, man. It's the unauthorized biography of John O 'Leary's life that they, they wrote it a hundred people buy it. Then another hundred, then another hundred, they'd go on to sell, I think 85 ,000 copies.

1:10:43No marketing plan, no goals, no savvy out of their garage from my father's wheelchair, people come in. It was just a beautiful grace-filled story. One of the copies was sold to a girl scout and she's the one that says after reading it, which you shared your story. So if you take this thing all the way back, like how does the universe or how does God work? My dad wrote that book because he lost his gig because he had Parkinson's disease. And you're big into using your challenges for something bigger than the day. Leading you somewhere, man. That addiction is leading you somewhere. That divorce is leading you somewhere.

1:11:20That first bankruptcy is leading you somewhere. That burn at age nine is leading you somewhere. Quit looking at yourself as a victim to it. Ask yourself what you can do to redeem it. so dad gets this diagnosis writes a book has no idea that it's going to be lead ultimately to you and me being on this podcast today my gosh but he says yes and that's the that's the key in life say yes my gosh you guys his father gets parkinson's writes the book forces him to go speak to this little girl's group and here we are and by the way all of it go all the way back it's 7 30 in the morning where he messes with his gas can and Jim saves his life.

1:11:59It's unreal. Yet, guys, your story becomes special if you win. If you win. If he didn't win, if he didn't marry this beautiful woman, if he didn't turn his life into something, then it's a totally different story. So you all get to determine. You are the author. You and God are the author of your own life. You determine the next chapters. You determine what it means. And ultimately, what you do with it, do you eat your potatoes? Right? Determine. Do you want to live? Because I'm going to say the other thing that made me emotional. This question, I want to go back, man, and you'll use this when you speak.

1:12:37When your mother says, do you want to die? I think a lot of you need to ask yourself that question right now. Are you living? I'm not talking about your heart beating. You know exactly what I mean. There's that great saying that says most people die at 22 or 23 years old. We just don't get around to burying them until they're 65 or 70. So those of you listening to this, are you living? Do you want to die? You know what I mean by that? I mean, do you want to live? Because what John's response was, no, mom, I want to live. I don't want to die. Maybe it's time you ask yourself this question. What does living mean to you?

1:13:10What is your calling? What is your purpose? What are the scars you need to reveal? What is the redemptive story you have? And here's a pathway for it. And I've never heard someone say this before. I'm reading and I'm like, man, I actually said to our mutual friend who introduced us, John, I said, man, what an optimistic guy. And then I'm reading your work. You're like, I don't just believe in optimism. You talk about pragmatic positivity. What the heck is that? So the guy you mentioned is John Rulon, who is just such a good man. So I love a wonderful human. And I'm grateful he made the introduction.

1:13:42I get in trouble a bunch by being the optimistic guy, by squeezing enough lemons, adding a tiny bit of sugar, mixing that up with a little bit of water and having myself a delicious lemonade. And people remind me how hard life is. And I always say, yeah, and I don't run from that. I don't hide from the difficulties of life. But rather than just talking about how bad it is, I like when people are moving toward the struggles and making it better. So, yeah, am I optimistic? Yeah, pragmatically so. because what I do is rather than just looking at how bad the world is, which any fool can do, and they do, and if you don't believe me, watch your evening news tonight.

1:14:17They will tell you how bad everything is. What they miss is the arc of history. The reality is this, in our individual lives and certainly in our collective ones, things are better today by a lot than they were 10 years ago, shockingly better than they were 20, 50, 100, 1 ,000, 10 ,000, give me any measurement, and we are far better off today as a society than we've ever been in the history of the world. So yeah, we can talk about how bad the environment is and how bad things are racially in an environment. Yes, these things need to be redeemed. We need to discuss and work to make it better. And then take a deep breath and say, and it is getting better.

1:14:55And we are working to make it better, not only for ourselves, but for those around us. So pragmatic optimism is moving forward with a heavy dose of hope, but also buoyed by the fact that we are doing far better today than we were yesterday. And it's our job to make it better for those who come behind us. See, I love that. See, one thing when you start saying, hey, don't be a victim, someone will say back to you, well, no, you don't understand my situation. You know, my dad was a drug addict or alcoholic. I was burned. I come from a marginalized racial community where I am behind the eight ball.

1:15:28I don't have the opportunities ever. I grew up poor. I didn't get to go to good schools that you went to. Or, you know, I don't look like everybody looks like. And whatever that situation is, what I'm saying to you is, I may not understand those things. And I'm going to assume you're right about them. Yeah, I'm assuming you're right about them. In fact, many of you, I know you're right about them. The question is, is that going to define the rest of your life? That's the question. Is that the definition of you? And so accepting truth is my father was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I did have a rough little time there, right?

1:16:04You were burned on a hundred percent of your body below the neck, right? Like, okay, that's true. You were born into a group of people that have been taken advantage of, abused, whatever it might be. These things are true. When someone says you're not a victim, they're not saying your circumstances aren't true. They are true. You are right. The question is now what are we going to do about it? Is it going to be a redemptive story? And what if more and more people that were children of alcoholics shared it and prevailed? What if more and more people from a marginalized racial or economic or religious community shared it and won anyway?

1:16:42Isn't that sort of how it would change? Yes. Isn't that sort of how it changes? Otherwise, it's a permanent definition of your life. So would you second that the way that I said it? It's right on. The way we change the world. We think it's going to be in DC or Jefferson city or Sacramento. And that is part of it, no doubt. But the real way we make the changes, you make your bed, you look in the mirror, you fix the hair, if you have any hair left over, and then you attack the day. So you start in your own backyard, you start at home, and then you work outward from there. So that's where the beachhead begins.

1:17:15And then we move onward. And we do so together. Yeah, you say in your book, the in our book, Rediscover Your Childlike Wonder, Unleash Inspiration, Meaning, and Joy. This has always been hard for me because my childhood was not, by the way, my mom listens to this. Mom, I had a great childhood. It always bugs my mom. She's like, you know, was it that bad? No, there were just elements that weren't good. I come from a very loving family and my mom, like your mom, is a world-class human being. Thank God for my mom. And my dad was a wonderful man, but we all know the story there. So that was a great conversation.

1:17:50Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. It's Ed Mylett. And I've been trying to have this guy on my show for a long time. We met a couple years ago at the Super Bowl. And the reason I wanted him on is because I think he has one of the greatest stories you will ever hear in your life. And I mean that. And some of you out there, you know, we're finding you during COVID, maybe when you're listening to this, maybe it'll be years later and some of you are hearing it, but some of you feel like you're in need of kind of a comeback or a life comeback.

1:18:23And this man's story is remarkable. I mean, like one of the great ones you will ever hear. And I want him to share with you today. And then I want to pick his brain about how he's become so successful. So my guest today is my friend, Bob Menry. Bob, welcome to the program, man. Let's go back to the beginning of that run, because this is what I wanted. You You know, there's so many people, man, right now that are, they're down on their luck. You know, they've lost their job, their business is down. You know, they put on weight during COVID. You know, there's all these things. There's a social unrest.

1:18:51There's all this stuff going on in the world. And you found yourself really down on your luck years ago. And I kind of just want you to take people through the story. But I want to make sure I start it right. You had moved out to California. You were caddying at Wilshire. I don't know if we're allowed to say where it was, but you were a caddy. and it sort of, it went, which is by the way, but it wasn't your dream job. It wasn't what you aspired to do with your entire life. And you ended up basically homeless, right? So take them through where you were at the bottom and how you got there. You know, my goal was always to be, I wanted to be an actor and a comedian.

1:19:29That was my goal. So I kind of went to New York film school at like 23 years old um ended up going to los angeles california to be an actor comedian and i was one of the i think only people to probably go out to be an actor comedian and not do one stand-up comedy show and not do one audition actually i kind of felt uh fell into the partying stage a little bit uh and kind of got a little distracted but uh i'll tell you what though on the caddying front caddying was one of the most amazing jobs that I've ever had in my life like and I truly like believe it or not I miss it it you know I was always I was always like you know I my father always stressed the most important thing is you know getting up early and and being the first one the last one to leave regardless of what you're doing so even in the caddy yard I would I would I would do that you know I would be there 5 a.m and when the guys did not carry two golf bags, which on 18 holes would be seven miles, I think.

1:20:30And when we're done, everybody wants to go home. I was like, let's go another round. Let's go another round. But during that time, I developed a somewhat of a drug problem. I was doing cocaine like every day, pretty much. So like, that's why I could carry the golf bag so fast that I was running around there on the golf course, seeing every ball and whatnot. But, and yeah, and just, you know, just didn't really, I just got comfortable because you were, you were at this place. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to perform. I wanted to show my talent because I knew I just had this edge and I couldn't really know what it was.

1:21:09I knew I had that voice that was catchy, but I also offered something else that I just didn't know what it was yet. And so, yeah, I mean, I was, I, I, I mean, I don't even know where to go with this but i was just in a gotten comfort zone you know i got a comfort zone of caddy i'm making a little bit of cash but god but you but by the way a lot of people feel that way too they feel like they got some kind of talent they don't know how to express it they don't know what it is they got kind of this vision of i think what they want their life to look like and usually your dream and it's true for you now too i always say this people usually if your dream does happen it doesn't show up looking exactly the way you thought it would look you know it gives you the feeling you hoped you'd get from it but it usually doesn't show up in the form or fashion that you think but you're doing you know i know the story but i want them to know this yeah you're doing coke yeah you're caddying yeah you kind of lost your way but it there was some there was some significant moments too right i mean was there a point where you were at your lowest during that time back in the day was there like a moment you're like this is yeah this is out of control yeah yeah it gradually got to the point where it just became like all right you're spending more money on things you shouldn't be.

1:22:17You're missing work time based on bad habits. And then before you know it, which you obviously probably know already is, you know, I found myself, my buddy goes, Hey, I got to move to Texas. You don't have a place to live anymore. I'm like, fuck. And now this member gave me a Sean Moran, gave me a car that I would drive to and for to work and didn't have any money. I had minus$700 in my bank account. After four years of caddying, I hit rock, absolute rock bottom. So I remember the first night getting in that car, driving, where the fuck do I go? And I had already used up a lot of my resources.

1:22:56I'm pretty street smart. I can figure stuff out, but I used up a lot of my resources and I had nowhere to go. So it started right there that first night. Where the fuck do I go? I'm in my car. I drive around. I look for a nice neighborhood, park there, put a pillow in the back, blanket over me, go to bed. That's night one of three months. Oh my gosh. Actually two, yeah, two and a half months of sleeping in a car. And that is no, you know, maybe I snuck an occasional night where I stayed at a buddy's or something, but it got to a point though, that I didn't even want to stay at a buddy's. I wanted to continue.

1:23:35I don't know what it was in my head. I wanted to continue staying in that car i don't know what it was it became a comfort zone for me um but yeah i spent at the end of the day i slept in a car for two and a half months trying to do it for uh one day it's it's tough two and a half months i had a membership at the ymca i had a membership at the ymca and i would i would park in a nice neighborhood and i would wake up because you can't sleep in ed when you're sleeping in a car you can't sleep in people are running around this garbage truck's going by you can't sleep in which actually somewhat worked my benefit because i was at the club earlier but go to the ymca to shower go to work and caddying is very up in the air business if it rains there's no work if you're a lot of politics behind it you know that a lot of family members in the caddy yard who bring other caddies out because they're family so i was left there i would go there sometimes i'd show up at five in the morning and it's a cash business and i would leave it four in the afternoon with no work oh my god and then i kind of fell it just happened like it was like a two-week period where I was up five till three in the afternoon and no work and uh yeah so it was it was nuts I want you guys to picture something by the way dude I did not know it was that long that you were home that you were basically living in your car but I want you guys to picture something because a lot of you've done this you've chased your dream and failed this guy moves out here he's got all these aspirations and we're both from Boston area so I know what it's like when you leave home to just having your family back there and there's just we're a little bit different people that live back there we're really family oriented more than most right and it's a big move yeah when you leave Boston and you come to LA that's a major move and he comes out here and it just gets out of control and that's why and that's why real quick I think my stress is is it's so important to you know when I'm in LA it still happens to me if I feel myself coming out of that funk yeah it's okay to go back to your family and reset it's okay to take a reset and a breather it's not you know don't be ashamed of it if you have to come home with a tail between your legs and be like all right i'm fucking up let's reset and let's go back and that's that's kind of and i still have that happen to me every three months yeah i think i think you just did it and i want to i will i want to get to that point in a minute too because there's stuff like as a friend i want to ask you on camera about that but i want you to picture something everybody because you some of you don't know the end of the story because he's in the middle of building this this vision of his too but this man goes from living he's caddying he's living in his car to just a few years later, he's so influential on social media that he can crash the PGA Tours website.

1:25:57I want you to imagine this, guys. Even for you to hear this is probably pretty cool to step back for a minute. I'm sure about a dude living in his car, caddying, homeless, to just a few years later, he chased his dream and failed, to he's so influential in the space he's in that he can take down the PGA Tours website from time to time. Yesterday, he put a post that's got 8 ,500 comments on Instagram already. So while you're in the car, let's go to there for a minute. Cause I think a lot of people are like, I'm not homeless. I'm not in my car, but I'm trending there or I feel it. Was there something that sent you back to Boston?

1:26:32Like, were you like, all right, I'm, I'm, I'm heading back. Was there like a moment or did you just like go, I'm totally out of money. I got to go. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, uh, there's a moment, a big moment. I had, taken a line of crystal meth by mistake or not by mistake. I don't even know if at that point, I was so fucked up and did that. And I ended up for somewhere I couldn't sleep, I guess, because when you do that, you can't sleep. So I was up for two days straight, not sleeping, tweaking out in my car. I had a flat tire. Okay. I couldn't even drive anymore. I got to the point where I had a flat tire.

1:27:07I was on the side of the road. It was right in Sherman Oaks. I was in that car. I was hallucinating in the middle of the night. I was thinking there was a prostitution ring. And I don't know to this day, to this day, if this is a real thing or not, I swear to God. And I haven't told really many people this. I was parked there. I was sleeping. I was seeing things that weren't there. I thought there was cars coming behind me, parking their cars. There was girls getting out of their car, banging these guys. They drive away. I don't know to this day, Ed, if I was in the wrong place at the wrong time or hallucinating.

1:27:41So after that happened, now in my head, that happens for four hours in the middle of the night, probably between the hours of one and 5 a.m. So I, in my head, I'm like, this is just stopped. All right. It's my time to get out of here because they know where I am now. They know I'm here. They, you know, this Jeep is just sitting here, you know, and they attended the windows, but I was hiding under a blanket like this for four hours shaking because I didn't know who the fuck was there doing this. So what I did was I started my car with a flat fucking tire. I drove down the road and I took a left.

1:28:12As I take a left, to this day, I don't know if this is real or not. I look to my left. I see five cars speed right around the corner and follow me. So I step on the gas. I drive. I go to the gaslight. I pull into a CVS parking lot I would die to get the surveillance tape if I could I pull into a CVS parking lot I am freaking the fuck out. I run out of the car I run into CVS and I'm like screaming at the top of my lungs guys are chasing me people are fucking chasing me Whatever I run through the back of the store and I open up a door All the alarms go off in CVS and now the cvs employees are fucking going crazy what the fuck is going on here they probably just think i'm a crack addict you know which i pretty much was at that point um they're like what's going on like please call the cops i saw something i shouldn't see like you gotta you gotta fucking get me out of here i can't fucking do this like all right well chill chill chill we're calling the cops they call the cops cops show up i go outside and i'm looking around and i see a car in the corner right and it has its windows down and i see three guys in the car staring at me now the cops are talking to me and I'm looking over my shoulder.

1:29:20I see him. An ambulance pulls in. So the firefighter comes out and he's like, what, uh, what the fuck is going on? I'm like, listen, I know you guys think I'm crazy. People are fucking following me right now. Like I'm telling you, look in that car, go fucking over there right now and go look in that car. Somebody's following me. Firefighter's like, all right, relax, kid. I'm going to go check. Walks over. And I sit there. I'm like, all right, here we go. They're going to figure this out. He comes back. He's like, dude, there's nobody in the car. I just looked and I'm like, all right. They're like, what do we, uh, they're like, what do you want to do?

1:29:50Do you want to go to the hospital? I'm like, get me out of here. I jump in the back of the ambulance. They bring me to the hospital. I pull into the hospital. I go in, they put me in the bed. I'm sitting there. And now I want to stay there forever. Like, I don't want to leave the hospital. I don't want them to discharge me. They're asking me all these questions. I can tell they're, you know, and so finally they discharge me. I walk out of the hospital. I take a left, I leave. And, uh, I, I see another guy and he's staring at me. And then I look to the left. I see another guy. He's staring at me.

1:30:16I look across the street. Another guy. I sprint. I almost got hit by cars. I run across the street. The cars are flying by on Sherman Oaks. I forget what road it is. I'm like Frogger. I'm dodging these cars, whatever. Finally, I call my buddy Ernie Giappapis. I said, Ernie, you got to pick me up right now. There's people following me, whatever. Ernie comes there, picks me up. I jump in the backseat of his car in the fetal position and hide like this okay and ernie's side of the story is the pretty funny too i go drive he's like where uh like just fucking drive he's like all right dude i'm bringing you home calling your parents i'm calling your brother you're going home like you're not right drives me i'm like i i'm like just drop me off the police station because i'm like you have to get my bag and stuff out of the car so police station is a safe place he drops me off at the police station i go inside and i run right in the police station like guys i gotta stay here for a minutes.

1:31:07Somebody's following me, whatever. They're like, all right, chill out, chill out, chill out. Five minutes later, Ernie pulls in. I jump in the back of the car. We're off to the airport. I have an airplane ticket that my parents bought me. I show up at the airport. I am fucked up. I haven't slept in three days. I haven't showered in three days. I smell like shit. I go to the airport. I sit down, I go through security and I finally am there, my flight to Boston. And I'm sitting there and all of a sudden I pass out and something to this day, i don't know what the fuck it was woke me up and it said uh robert menory rob menory last call uh gates are closing and i was sitting right next to the gate i was there an hour and a half early before the flight robert menory rob menory gates are closing i get on that plane i sit in the plane i remember people were looking at me like i you know smelled like shit people would smell i haven't showered whatever get in the plane and back to boston i go oh my gosh brother see i have not heard that whole story but i've never told anybody yet i just i i i i've never told a story to anybody that deep thank you bro for sharing that i uh the way you tell it too i can picture it i can see every one of those steps it's hard for you know i do consider myself a storyteller well yeah that is part of your but bro like in all seriousness like because i know where you are now that's just it's shocking like it's shocking to and by the way you still have some self-destructive qualities which we'll talk about in a little bit too but I so we can we skip that part well I just think what you've already done has helped like millions of people just so you know because I've told people that's one of the most amazing stories but I didn't know all of the backstory like this and this is like so guys if that's where Bob was right and you can think about where you are is there at least a shot for you to turn things around there's got to be at least a shot right 28 years old 28 years old write me off I should have been dead write me off no chance unbelievable man so now there's moments in life right where like our lives change by the way I'm I've been doing this a long time I've done you know hundreds of shows I don't think I've probably been this speechless before where I'm like processing what you just said even though I knew a little of it it's actually really really amazing for me because of just where you are now but so you get back to Boston fires me it fucking fires me up yeah it should it should broke because it gives everyone on this planet hope but so you get back and I know there's this part of the story at least where you're on the couch and something happens but like can you do you just do you go back there and just kind of get cleaned up like you just got home and you different crowds so you stop using stuff or what happened when you got back oh it was it was great it was great show up at the door knock on the door mom and dad I'm home 28 years old they just downsized to a two bedroom small apartment they were thrilled to have their 28 year old son come home and uh walk in the door and four days go by me just kind of like detoxing i guess in a sense and uh this is how fast i don't know if you want to rush this is how fast it kind of happened my buddy goes my buddy my brother-in-law picks me up finally he said uh i'm gonna pick you up at 11 o 'clock we gotta get you a job i'm like all right fuck all right here we go i get in the car we drive to leary's liquor store perfect and uh he goes out he goes i want you to go in there and i want you to go apply for a job at leary's liquor store and i'm like fuck this i don't want to work at leary's all right fine i'll go in there i walked into leary's liquor store i said uh so embarrassed like so nervous because i was so you know just a horrible feeling yeah i said uh you guys hiring like oh here's an application like what's your name like uh bob minnery uh and obviously like i for some reason turned on my voice i thought that might help uh and uh fucking ridiculous um you know grabbed the application uh got back in the car to joe's and my brother-in-law and he goes how'd it go i go i get the application i'll fill it out whatever he brings me home i get a call from my buddy mike constantino youtube rapper rapper he said bob what's going on i said mike what's going on he said you want to be can you do me a favor can you be an extra in my music video i'm like fuck yeah i'm an actor i can do this i got this what do you need me to do he's like well you're just gonna stand way in the back and you're just gonna rage you're perfect for this part so i show up we shoot the fucking music video it's actually pretty good and then 2 a.m comes along and this is the moment that changed my life uh i walk into a room and what i always did real quick which is important in the story yet is with my voice i would always go out if i went out to a bar or anywhere with my friends i wouldn't sit with them for more than five minutes i would run up to a random group of table i just ran up to a random group of table and go tom brady and aaron rogers here on espn tonight it is nfl sunday and i would just see their reactions and i would do this all night and uh some people would uh love it and some people would be like what the fuck is wrong with this kid but when they did ask me what i did when they did ask me what i did for a living i did pretend i said i was like the jacksonville jaguars play-by-play guy but i always that's just a big guy i always used to touch dick and you know it never went anywhere it never went anywhere but that night it did i walk into a room and i sit down and the man to my left didn't know him before but i will never forget his name david justin he's with his girlfriend what does bob do he pulls out the voice and guess what does dave do he pulls out the camera and he records and uh that's it i go to bed all of a sudden the next morning it's like bling bling bling bling like what the fuck's going on here who died did i get the job hilarious what's going on here and i i witnessed firsthand kind of what it was like to go uh just viral in an instant moment and so he posted the video on his social media or did he tag you or what happened David did me I owe David for life what David did is David was like you know this kid is fucking talented I'm going to do everything I can to try and be have him be seen by whoever whatever so he called up Bro Bible and Brandon was one of the first guys hats off to Bro Bible for literally starting my life and David they blasted it out there and they put it out there with the headline of why isn't this guy a sportscaster and what happened was I think story I did a deal with story for like$500 or something and sold my life away for them to like blast on all different media outlets yeah and uh and at the time like i'm like negotiating with these people like why am i negotiating i'm nothing what i'm doing i have nothing so i'm like yeah i'll just do it for 500 and they blasted out there and usa they picked it up all these different outlets and it was like why is this guy sports announcer and i got picked up brother that is guys come on like anything is possible i know i'm trying to like overcook it the you know the meal here but like that that is luck that that this is why this is this is the though it was lucky but i truthfully say this even at my lowest points i knew my talent and going back to always going out and performing it even if it wasn't under the perfect circumstance of being on stage whatever i would go out four hours a night and just use that voice and just see what people reacted to it yeah you under s and i was under you you do this all the time you undervalue stuff you're great at here's the deal you you said earlier well i never did any shows and everything you stand up.

1:38:37Actually, you did thousands. They were just all not paid. So over and over and over again, when you're going to these tables, see, luck is where like preparation meets opportunity. And what happened there was all this preparation you had done over and over and over again, not consciously, you just had a gift and a talent and something you worked at. And finally, the opportunity presented itself. And what most people do is they have all this preparation and because the opportunity doesn't reveal itself, they eventually quit on it. And at the lowest point in this dude's life, I mean, he's just practically running through CVS, setting off alarms, thinking he's being followed after he's done crystal meth.

1:39:13And, guys, ends up going viral and has his moment. And, by the way, all of you, no matter what the business is the moment, there's a viral aspect to success. Most people who have success, I don't care if it's A-Rod or, you know, guys you and I know like Gary Vee or, you know, Scooter Braun, whoever it is. People that, you know, you and I. Scooter Braun, we prank him all the time, by the way. I prank FaceTime Scooter Braun all the time. I see that on your social, by the way. He and I have become neighbors somewhere, but I'm not going to say where. But my point is that most people that have had success, there's some moment where their preparation and opportunity converged, and there's like a 90-day window where they go, that was a big leap for me in my life, and that was Bob's.

1:39:52So I want to ask you about your social because, guys, one thing about Bob, if you go over there, by the way, when you're hearing Bob talk, his content is not for every single ear in the world. there's it's colorful for those of you that know what I mean when I say that but it's hilarious it's fine it's fine you know but I can't go to a golf course bro I or anywhere sports related where if someone finds out I know you I mean it doesn't matter who I know I'm telling you that when I come up with a Bob Mennery I know Bob Mennery deal people go nuts over this guy just so you all know his content for all ages people go ballistic yeah I you know what I think I do a good job at and to go back a little bit backpedal on the story of hair is you know after just you know going in that little viral moment it was like all right what do you do from there uh you know i didn't know what the fuck to do like once you have a viral moment what do you do you don't want it to die and it was like you know so i just did like i did another video that was it i just put another video out same kind of concept and i remember like literally hitting i think like 10 000 followers and i was like i'm on to something i'm like i got it i just felt it my whole body shifted and i said i fucking got this i don't know what it is my parents almost sent me to a mental institution because meanwhile i'm in the next bedroom that is so close being like vinitary's dick falls off you know like that was shit screaming at 20 they're like we need to check bobby into a mental institution but i i just i saw it and then it was weird it was like that switch all that addictive personality that was channeled in those areas just hyper focused into what i was meant to do

1:41:35Outro Music