Transform Energy Into Tangible Success! Feat. Ryan Serhant

27:42I know what I got to do. Right. I know how to look at people. I know how to listen to people. I know how to breathe. I know how to give them what they want. Let me see if this works. Brother, you're awesome. I hope we do something again together. Like I really, really enjoyed this. Guys, follow Ryan, get big money energy, buy the book and share this show. If you know anybody trying to perform better, they need to listen to what we just talked about or watch it because it's loaded with gold and tell them to get a notepad out before it begins because they're going to want to write a lot of this stuff down.

28:10So Ryan Serhant, thank you for today, brother. All right. Thank you. I'll talk to you later. So today's a really special day for me. I get to share with you one of my best friends in the world, if not my best friend. He's one of the most influential people on the planet and he's my partner in the Arte Syndicate that we coach entrepreneurs together. And we're going to have a remarkable conversation today with Andy Frisella. Welcome, brother. Thanks, bro. What about that? Like leveraging the dark side versus like chasing the dream? There's two ways people approach this both work. I think you got to do both.

28:42Okay. Explain that to us. So as an entrepreneur, as someone who's wired for achievement or attempting to achieve, we are presented with lots of different energy to leverage towards our goals. And part of the energy is positive and part of the energy is negative. And I believe that entrepreneurship and business and, and building something is so hard that you have to learn to leverage both. And I feel like a lot of people are wired one way or the other way. And I was too, for a long time, but I was only wired for the dark. Um, yeah. So, you know, there's positive energy, right? Which I believe out of, if we, from my experience, it might be different for everybody.

29:24And it also could be just my perspective and worldview. But for me, it's like 90, 10, okay. 90%, uh, negative dark side energy, 10 % positive. And what I'm talking about is the energy that we receive going down the path. Okay. What do we get? Well, anytime that we set out to do anything different than everybody else, bro. Nobody gets it. All right. So that sets the precedent for us to get negative energy in different ways all the time. This is why a lot of people in the beginning, they're like, nobody believes in me. Nobody supports me. Everybody's, you know, making fun of me. Yeah, dude, because you're doing something completely outside of the realm of what they see as normal life.

30:00And so we're going to face more negative energy, in my opinion, than we are positive. There's gonna be very few people that actually believe in you. There's going to be very few people that say, yeah you know what ed i think you can do that most people are going to say dude i think you're getting a little bit too out there you know they're going to try to talk you out of it and so i think it's necessary and and very few people talk about it to learn how to leverage the dark energy properly because positive energy is great dude like like putting having someone like you come put their arm around me and say hey bro you're doing good it's a big deal but it's very rare yeah all right what's what's very common is everybody else saying hey what the like when i say hey we're gonna build the next nike level american iconic brand people look at me like i'm full of right even after what i've done you know what i'm saying and by the way we're debt-free company and nobody gave me any money like there's no company i don't know of another company our size that is debt-free i don't know of a single one it's crazy when we think about these things you know if we're only leveraging if we only operate with the one or two times a year that somebody who's credible comes and tells you you're great it's true you're gonna to feel like all the time and so i think it's necessary especially in the hard phases to literally learn how to leverage the dark energy meaning if you're going to get so much of it leverage it yes yeah it's great because it's a powerful force and and people will judge you and they'll say well that's not i'm doing it to prove people right well that's why you're losing bro you know what i'm saying we get all kinds of negative energy at us all the time and so what we have to learn to do is to take that in and then let it come out of us in productive action Yeah.

31:34You know, like not not lashing back out, not going on the Internet and passive aggressively pouting about why nobody believes in you. Nobody believes in you because you haven't done anything, bro. And by the way, when you've done, there's just a whole bunch of more people that don't believe in you. Yeah. So like we have to learn to take these things, internalize them, see them for what they are, and then can let them come out in productive action. And a lot of people can't do that. So what happens is the negative energy comes and comes and comes and comes and then it burns them the down. Right.

32:07So so we I believe to get to a certain level, you have to be able to you have to be proficient at both. And you are proficient at both. Like, by the way, this idea of leveraging energy that comes at you. I've never heard you say it that way before. But if everything in your life is going to be coming at you, that's relatively negative rejection. People screwing you, let you down. clients that quit haters this idea of like no you know don't pay attention to the hate you're saying actually pay attention to it and then flip it and leverage it but the same time though you and i for each other behind the scenes thing you also have those people in your life that have to like expand your vision this did not happen here there's a la ferrari down there yeah there's there's a bugatti down there that's bananas every car in here is bananas right he doesn't buy like knockoff cars Like this building's bananas, the guitars that are on the wall, the pictures, Grant's house over there, the way you design a deck.

32:58We're just sitting here like, hey, dude, I'm taking this part of the couch. I'm going to put that on the bar. So you're a visionary person, too. So I want you to speak to that. And then even you and I behind the scenes, I don't know, every three or four weeks, you're like, hey, bro, this house in Florida, this thing there. We're also people that although we leverage the dark side, we're also dreaming and visualizing and having someone in your life. It's like, Hey, think about this. Think about this. What, what element of it, this didn't come together by mistake. So speak to that a little bit about having some vision as well.

33:29By the way, this is like a masterclass. We should be charging for this podcast, but that's why we have the art a syndicate, but, but like talk about vision and having someone in your friendship circle that also helps you stretch that too. Don't just leverage the dark side, but the vision part of it. You have to be exposed to bigger things than what you're doing at all times, no matter who it is or what level you're at. And honestly, meeting you was one of those things for me. The first time I went to your lake house in Coeur d 'Alene like I'm over here thinking I'm doing it right and I am doing it but then I walk into a 40 ,000 square foot bro I was just telling the guys before the show I was like you get off you get off the boat and you get off the dock and imagine the the most crazy lake house uh lodge that you've ever seen in your life and then you you walk up to it and you realize it's the guest house you know what i'm saying right like that's there's levels man and and um wait you see hope island yeah i already know yeah the the uh i think it's important to expose yourself consistently to the outcome um which i think a lot of people do i think a lot of people actually do that too much where they make it all about the stuff and what they're trying to achieve and you can get successful like that.

34:43I was successful my first 15 years like that. My first 10 years I wasn't, but I made a lot of money those next five. And that was mainly like, what was I trying to build? But I don't think you can really get, I think you can only get so far on that because once you start having it and once you start experiencing it, and this is going to sound all up to everybody else, but like, dude, driving any of those cars you just mentioned, that's like driving a normal car to me. You know, like I don't think of it anymore. Like I just, it's just part of my life. And when I think of like what really gets me motivated and, and in the space I need to be is really thinking about historic things now.

35:27Like what, what's the story of our company going to be when, when I die? You know what I mean? What did I actually accomplish? Who did I actually help? How did I impact families? How did I make people's lives better? how did I help people um discover like I said a minute ago that they have gifts too and that they're here to let those gifts uh materialize in real life and you know and then I see what's going on in the world and what's going on in the country and so like I continue to take on these bigger causes yeah you do because these things because I don't get motivated by the stuff anymore I actually real talk I mean I've told you a million times I've said this publicly a lot I I don't give a about it anymore.

36:06Yeah. Anymore. Yeah, I don't. You think you have to get it? Yes, absolutely. I had to get to that to have it to realize that it's not what. So what is the cool part of being successful is that you get a platform to leverage other people. So that shit's cool as fuck. Right. All right. It's cool. I'm not sitting here trying to play it now. Material goals are very important, especially when you haven't had them yet, because they're the things that will keep you going during the dark times. You'll say, OK, well, this is the lifestyle I want. This is what I want to do. but once you have that lifestyle a lot of people fall off because they don't have a bigger mission there you go purpose and so what i've learned and is that taking on bigger purposes that are outside of myself actually lead to not just more success but also more fulfillment and um you know i don't have it all figured out you know when people when when you said like people are like oh well he thinks he's got it all figured out no i don't have it figured out in fact i've got the behind me figured out but i don't have the in front of me figured out you think jim's proud of you my dad yeah yeah yeah for sure do you tell you that i mean we have a different dynamic you know what i'm saying um but yeah i mean i can tell you know what i'm saying like it's not like uh i mean there's been a few times for sure you know what i mean but we never we were never like like it was just different man my dad my dad raised us as realists you know things are either this or they're that they're either this way or they're that way.

37:30And I'm very grateful for that because, you know, while some people would have been raised by my dad who had very high standards and who pushed us to do well, they would say, Oh, that's, that's not, that's, I, they would resent him for that. But like how I look at it is I'm like, dude, I am so thankful I had that because now I understand reality. I'm not confused or delusional about the way things are. And the truth is, man, we can wish and we can hope and we can wish things were different but they are what the they are and we have to learn to operate with what is not what we want it to be and i think having my dad raise sal and i both that way has been a tremendous key for like we're a continuation of his work you know what i'm saying um he he he taught us the right you know what i'm saying he like yeah and my dad was hard on this dude we got our asses beat when we were little that was real but you know what every time i got my ass be you know what the truth is joe i deserved it every single time you know he equipped the two of you for the world and i worry a lot right now with you know because i am a parent that so many parents i mean a lot of these kids get out of college or school man and they're like oh my gosh the world swings back as you said earlier and they never had any hits because their parents protected them growing up from every picture anytime there's a dispute at school they intervened yeah any problem they weren't starting on the baseball team they talked to the coach yeah right or switch the school or did this or wrote a letter or whatever it wasn't that way yeah my dad my dad was like well uh well why the did you do that don't do that you know what i'm saying like yeah um so you know i want to say this so on public record like my childhood was there was a lot like if i were to go through it there was a lot of really good and there was a lot of really fucked up and this is why i don't have sympathy for victims you know i'm saying like bro i've told you some of the and i don't talk about some of the publicly and we had some really bad in reality that we had to deal with growing up but the truth of the matter is i wouldn't change it for anything and i'm very grateful for the experience and i'm grateful for how hard my parents tried how how much they they did what they knew best to do for us and we we were taught the reality of existence through that childhood and i think what to your point a lot of parents protect their kids from learning reality and that handicaps them for life yeah and we see that every day and you know i don't see it really in my employees because i'm very blessed to have the people i have most because of this is a great thing because of how i am on the show most of the people that come to work for us are also the same they don't come here thinking i'm it's going to be sunshines and rainbows and flowers and they understand it's a hard team to play for like i always tell our team i said look guys we're the university of alabama bro high standards are a must and we're not these other guys we're not these other companies we're not these other people you're going to be demanded to perform at a high level and if that's not for you that's that's okay very short intermission here folks i'm glad you're enjoying the show so far don't forget to follow the show on apple and spotify links are in the show notes now on to our next guest.

40:40Today's an honor for me. Today's all going to be about really wisdom. And my guest today has 102 years worth of that wisdom. And she has a book out that is just extraordinary called The Well-Lived Life, 102-Year-Old Doctor, Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age. So Dr. Gladys McGarry, welcome finally to my show. I'm so happy to be here. You said, if I could distill my life's work, and you nailed it down here, you said, to be truly alive, we must find the life force within ourselves and direct our energy towards it. That sounds like an awful New Age thing to say, and I'm wondering what you meant by that when you said it.

41:24I mean that we all have it. so it's something that we just just have not introduced ourselves to because we've been so busy looking outside for our fix-its and the things that make us happy or whatever we think has to be outside of ourselves and don't realize that inside the very core of our being is what keeps us happy as a matter of fact i just learned a while back that the welsh when they get up in the morning and meet somebody they don't say good morning they say how's your weird really because the weird that they're talking about is this inner core of our being that is the thing that really keeps us going our life force i call it the physician within but it's that life force that really is the engine that keeps the thing going.

42:26Is that what you mean about the juice of life? Because you also, by the way, it's amazing. I've not really heard anybody else use that term. I've been using the term about getting the juice out of something or the juice of life now for probably 30 years. Is that what you mean by that? I have. As I was fascinating when I was reading your work, I'm like, oh, my gosh, the juice of life. So is that connected to the life force or is it something more specific? Okay. No, it's definitely connected to the life force because it's what juices are. You know, if we don't have any juice, we're just kind of, you know, it's very sad.

43:02Well, I think most people, maybe you would agree. I shouldn't say most because that's a judgment. But you say that the juice has two main parts, our individual essence, and then how we fit into the whole. And if I think about our culture today, I wonder how many people listening to this right now go, you know, I haven't tapped into my life force and I don't get a lot of the juice out of life. So could you elaborate on that, our individual essence, what a beautiful way to say it, and how we fit into the whole? If we start paying attention to some of the things that make us happy, that make us want to dance and sing, sometimes it doesn't make you want to yell.

43:42If something has happened and you really don't like it very well, it's okay to go about yourself and just holler sometimes. Sometimes we need to express ourselves in a way that we can understand it. where we can understand what it is that that i'm trying to say to myself you know this this this either is really it's so good and i like it so well or it really makes me sad or it's however it's acting us uh however we're reacting whatever it is is our way of responding to life does that mean that you think that, you know, the full expression of your emotions matters? Meaning, like I've had this theory for a while that I don't even know that there are positive or negative emotions.

44:36There just are emotions. Yeah, it's energy. Energy is energy. And sometimes it's, sometimes it just doesn't feel very good. And sometimes it feels great. But whatever it is, if we can begin to say, oh, yes, or no, no, no, and we back away from it. It's something that guides us from within ourselves that allows us to know what we're responding to and how we're responding to it. How do you figure that out, Gladys? How do I? How do you figure that out? How do you know why you're, you know, I'm a big believer in self-awareness. Yeah. Some of that just comes, I think, maybe with age because you've been around yourself a little bit longer.

45:23You know, I know more about myself at 52 right now than I certainly did at 22. Yeah, you've been paying attention to it. And a lot of times at 100, haven't been paying attention to it and still don't feel it. How do you do that? How do you pay more attention? Is it a little bit, is it a little quiet time? Is it starting to take note of how you behave and what your patterns are? How does one begin to do that? I think it's an individual thing, so it's hard to say blanket crowd. But when you begin to pay attention to what makes you respond to something, even a person or a poem or a song or a flower, you know, sometimes a rose will just say, oh, you know, ooh, that's great.

46:18You know, it's the awareness of how we respond to the inside and outside of ourselves. I'm deeply moved by you and your work. And I'm speaking for millions of people. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for finding your voice at 93. Yeah. Thank you for having that dream. Thank you for listening to that dream. And thank you for what you do. And thank you for allowing me to say it, to talk about it. I'm quite grateful. This is one of those experiences I will never forget Today in particular is really an honor for me because i'm going to introduce somebody to you that some of you will know But many of you will not know and I wanted him on the show today solely because of how good his work is How solid his content is in helping people change their lives and perform at a higher level I'd call them like a peak performance expert.

47:10There's all kinds of different terms. I could come up to describe this man, but he's got a book called The Breakthrough Code that is outstanding. And I like the way it's written and he's just great at changing people's lives. And so Tom McCarthy, welcome to the show today. Yeah. It's an honor to be with you, Ed. And I'm just amazed at what you've done in such a short period of time. And it's incredible. Well, thank you. Driving here to do the interview today. I've had a little bit of rest lately and I knew today was going to be awesome because I was coming in. I'm like, I I'm vibrating at a high frequency today.

47:38I know what it feels like to be vibrating at a high enough frequency where I'm going to produce a great result. And I know what it feels like oftentimes where I am not. And the last few weeks, frankly, just between my new TV show on nosy, everybody goes eat on nosy starts August 22nd. Uh, the different things I've had in my life, my new book, all this other stuff, I've just not been vibrating at quite the energy level that I know is the success level that I need to be at. So talk a little bit about this. You said something in this. I've never heard someone say about cells and volts of energy. And like, you can actually prove almost, uh, with, with, uh, neuroscience or chemistry or math why this is actually true so let's go to the energy thing for a second and how one might direct it yeah so everything is energy and not just us right you know the the cells and atoms and in our body but everything like this this table that we're it's just condensed energy this table right in front of us here everything's energy and everything's created twice first inside then outside right this table was an idea in somebody's head at one point in time.

48:38And then they, you know, through work, they formed energy. And now we've got a table that we can put our hands on and microphones and everything. So everything's energy. And Einstein also, he was a big believer in the imagination and that energy follows thought. And so when we think of thought, energy follows that. When the president of the Ukraine was thinking, hey, we need help here. Like energy was behind that thought. And that thought came to you. You heard it. And I heard it. And all of a sudden, we're rooting for them, right? We're rallying for them. So when you understand the challenge, I think most people have that is they live so firmly planted in this physical world of the only thing that exists is what I can touch, what I can see, what I can feel, but everything's created twice.

49:31So there's things you can't touch, see, and feel that are being created now. They're not in physical reality yet. They're in the non-physical, but that's where all the greatness starts. And when someone's struggling, all they can see is what is already there for them and they get stuck and then they conform. What I think we as human beings ideally should do, and this is hard because it's fun to live in the physical world. I mean, you've got all these great houses, you know, I, we have, I have different toys and fun things and, and it's fun. And that's why we're here. So I like doing that, but we also have to have ideally a foot in the non-physical where there are no boundaries and where energy is waiting.

50:11It's just literally saying, what do you want, Ed? What do you want? Like everything you have, you're telling me about your beautiful homes. Those all came from first you directing energy inside you to go out and make those opportunities real. Okay, brother, no one's ever said that on the show before. And it's so true. One, I talk a lot about, I think 99 % of people operate out of a pattern of thinking that is history and memory. 1 % of humans have worked to the extent that they operate of imagination and vision. They actually have that as their operating platform. The people that I naturally enjoy their energy, to quote you, are people who operate out of imagination.

50:47And by the way, you can just take an inventory of yourself and the people around you. How many of your conversations, your thoughts are about imagining and visioning and how many of them are about history and memory. And in my life, I've just sort of, as I've gotten older, gravitated, but I'm telling you almost everything I accomplish or that I do, I consciously begin to think about it. So out of the physical, I've never heard someone phrase it that way before. It's exactly what I do. I'm working on a few things right now. My process unconsciously, now that I'm 51 years old and has repeated it over 30 years.

51:16My process is to actually sit, get in a quiet meditative state to some extent. And I'm not talking about holding my hands and praying. I'm talking about just getting alone almost for me as that state. And it is to have a thought. And then I am actually literally intentionally pouring energy into the thought. I'm trying to pour more and more and more energy into the thought. And then I actually separate from it and I get away from it for a while. And I let it just sit with its energy. And then I pour more and more and more energy into that vision and that imagination. And it amazes me how the world begins to conspire to help me make it true.

51:49Whether it's that running on the street or a conversation today or something I then read and I'm like, what in the, why does this pop up? Right? So this is the process of creativity. It's thinking and then flooding it with energy. And the more successful you become, the more you have some wins, the more you begin to understand what that feels like when you're actually doing it. And it's liberating because now, you know, there's nothing that can stop you. Right. Yeah. And that's what most people don't have. They literally think there's lots of things out there that can stop them. And they're not willing to take that leap of faith.

52:23And you got to take the leap of faith in the beginning, like people that are listening to this that haven't, that are not at Ed's level yet. Just know at one point he was at your level, right? But he just outgrew that. And it wasn't because he or me or anyone else is better than anybody else. It's just we're using the tools that everyone's using. As a matter of fact, people that are struggling, the reason they're struggling is because their subconscious is so powerful that it's taking all this information that they've put in that life's a struggle, life's hard, you can never get ahead, and it's making it absolutely true for them.

52:57Yeah. So I so know that it's not that I'm different, which is why I'm in this space. I know humans can change. I know the reality can change because I'm so aware of my own limitations. I'm so aware of how many things I am either average at or sub average at that if I can produce certain things in my life, because this is not even humility, I just realize my own limitations in terms of my intellect or my strength or my upbringing or my experiences that if I can produce these things in my life, I absolutely 1 million percent sure know you listening to this or watching this can as well. And there is a process.

53:36It is both art and science. The art part you're gonna figure out as you go the science part which is what we're talking about today is Absolutely a replicatable process that you can start with so Let's start with a few of what those things are I want to go back one thing because you just use a term. I've not heard before which is use your own electricity And so just I want to just like what does that mean to you because people say energy I think a lot of people have heard the term energy before and like look I just don't get it, you know, but electricity Yeah, I don't think most people look at themselves as electric and they are and it's almost like use the example of a light everyone god bless you but if you really are an electrical being it's so sad to dim your light over time great great analogy i like that me too and just reading your work and you've reduced your electrical charge and the external evidence of that is the lights dimming in your life the cool part is that at any given time, you can start to take control and charge of your electricity.

54:37I just like that term better than energy. So are we electric actually as human beings? And maybe like one thought or concept about how one begins to up their amp level, so to speak. So Bruce Lipton, who you probably are familiar with, biology belief, he's the one that I got the data from on each cell has a certain charge. And we've got, I can't even remember since I wrote it, But we have, you know, like billions or trillions of cells in our body. So, yeah, we got a lot of electricity. Like we could light up a city if we used it effectively. I really love what you just said, though, like because I've never thought of it like someone dimming their light, because I think that really is what's happening or what's happening to a lot of people.

55:19It's not like they don't have the charge available, but they've got it on the dimmer. Right. And they're and they're just so used to having it dimmed out that they think that's all there is. You and I, the reason we do this, and I've been doing this a long time and don't necessarily have to do it anymore, but I really feel like my purpose and I know your purpose is to help people understand they can do so much more. And it's not about doing more. It's about really expressing themselves and living their purpose and do the work that they came here to do. And I think a lot of people have lost sight of that or they're not even clear what that is.

55:57Man, I've enjoyed today so much. It bums me out that we have to finish. I could go two more hours with you. I can feel this. Frankly, our energy, our frequency is so similar. I have a really good friend here today. One of the most downloaded shows we've ever done before because he'll surprise you. You know him from television. He's an incredible television personality with ridiculousness and a million other projects that he's done. He's one of my favorite people I've ever met in my life to talk with if not my favorite and I thought today I just let you sit in and I'm one with us we're gonna talk today with the great Rob Dyrdek welcome to the show brother hey thank you for having me energy depletion one other place because you mentioned Brianna and that is what about humans who drain your energy have you had to sort of I don't cut people out or like are you cognizant of the humans you associate with from an energy depletion or giving you energy standpoint is that something that's also part of this formula for you?

56:57Yeah. I want to give you two versions of it, right? Because I think the getting rid of the bad energy is an easy one to talk through, but it's, it's how do you optimize with those that you love? Okay. That's what I think is, is, is a lot more evolved and, and sort of what I've grown into. But I first started, you know, by just asking myself every single day and rating qualitatively, how do I feel about my life, my work and my health zero to 10. And you, if it's low, you think about why it's low and you make a note of it and you'll find that the people that bring you down, start popping up. And then, then it becomes so obvious, right?

57:39Like I had people that worked for me that were, are, were really, truly disrupting the quality of my life on a consistent basis that I didn't, I didn't have clarity on until I was asking myself, how did you feel about work yesterday, zero to 10? And then it was like a four because I was fighting with one of my executives for like three hours and had to change my entire vision for it because it's not what they wanted to do. Like I began to see that and then eventually cleared every single person that brought me down out. All of them, every single one of them. Right. And including in that same process, then there's certain parts of the business that, that, that drained me that I had to either learn or stop being involved in.

58:29Right. Like it was very informative from a qualitative standpoint. Now I go to the most important relationship that is my wife and it is, I am just, it is system after system, after system, on system, on system, on system, on system, strictly releasing and relieving any friction in our relationship. And it sounds like, oh, well, like, what could that possibly be? Well, you know, first it starts with the age old date night, right? And so, oh, like schedule the date night. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't enough to keep us balanced and happy. So the schedule is, you know, a Monday night talk night, a Thursday night movie night, a Wednesday morning breakfast, a Friday night sushi.

59:15Like it's it's having a rhythm of of dates and times that we spend in the week. Now it's it's not a matter of like, oh, you made one hour available. You you've integrated your wife into your life. Now, that was essential to begin to stop that friction. Then she started hearing me telling stories of stuff that I was working on and be like, I didn't even hear that. So, okay, how do I solve that? Then I started sending her an email every single morning of everything that I was doing in the day and what it meant to me with a love quote so that she got that every single day and was completely informed at what I was doing.

59:53So now how do I automate that? I have my assistant scrape my calendar and put it into an email and put it in my email that I can look in the morning. I go and find the love quote, depending on the energy of the season. And then I send it to her every single day. Right. And so, OK, that seems like you look at that alone. Like, look at you guys, like in your rhythm, like you you go with her every day to drop the kids off and pick them up for most days. Like you have this balanced rhythm with everything. And now she's completely informed, but getting friction on how complex our life was and all these big projects moving on.

1:00:32Then we move to a Thursday family sync where we get all the executive assistants and executive assistants together. And then we go through everything going on with the family and get organized and everything that needs to get done. Now we have the Thursday family sync to eliminate that. in the middle of that, like stuff's popping up in the schedule. She's seeing it in that email in the morning and be like, what is this? You're going to do Ed's podcast today. So what do we do? We added a new system to the family sync where I go through the calendar and then like say everything that I'm doing, Hey, the UFC fight in two weeks on Saturday night, I'm going to want to watch that anything that might be disruptive.

1:01:14And again, keeping our energy, our communication and our flow then like Okay, there's certain things where, you know, we'll get stuck on and not want to talk about. We started bringing a therapist to the house every other Tuesday at four o 'clock. So now we have this neutral ground that's basically, you know, I akin it to tuning a Ferrari where you already have this highly, but another friction is like these issues that you may not want to discuss even in this sort of flow that you're in. And here's this sort of neutral ground that you really don't have unless you bring somebody in. And you just begin to see all of these things layering on top of the goal of having the happiest, amazing relationship that you could possibly have.

1:02:06It's so good. I knew about the email, which, by the way, I started to do myself because you told me about that. By the way, everybody, you listen to my show so that somehow every week you become inspired or learn how to improve your life. If that is not happening for you right now, if there's not been something said here today by this man that is causing you to go, whoa. By the way, you're on the inside of what people that have blissful and happy and successful lives talk about and think about. These are the conversations that they have. I'm so excited to have this man here today. He's incredible.

1:02:36He's constantly ranked as one of the top three, four, five leadership experts in the world. He's an author of a whole bunch of different books. We're talking 20 million plus copies sold of his books. And you know what? There's a bunch of people that endorse his work. I mean, people like Nobel Prize winners, Desmond Tutu, Jon Bon Jovi, and me. I endorse his work. And so he's got a new book out called The Everyday Hero Manifesto, which is incredible. It's about 10 books in one book. So Robin Sharma, welcome to the show. Real blessing, Ed. Nice to finally meet you. Yeah, pleasure. This book, I said in the intro, it's 101 chapters, but they're easy to read chapters.

1:03:13And it's a lot of different stuff in one book. It almost looked to me like you said, you know what? I'm going to give you everything I've got in one book. And the premise of it kind of was interesting to me. Why do you think the world needs more everyday heroes? Because I think in the world today, most people don't look at themselves as heroic. That's exactly why I wrote the book. That's exactly what it is. It's when we society has seduced us into thinking that the heroes are on the mountaintops. Martin Luther King Jr. is the Mother Teresa's the Hedy Lamarr's the Desmond Tutu's the JFK's the MLK's.

1:03:48Yeah. And that's true. These people have overcome suffering and transcended tragedy to do amazing things with their lives and they've served the world and they freed nations and they've showed us what possibility looks like. But what about the ditch digger? who does his work like Beethoven composed music. What about the single father or mother working hard and seeing the dignity of their labor, putting food on the table and being a good community servant. What about the, the pizza maker? What about the gardener? What about the firefighter? What about the startup entrepreneur toiling quietly for 20 years of anonymity until they are your unicorn takes off?

1:04:32Like, I think we've just been seduced and hypnotized and brainwashed and heartwashed into believing that heroes are cut from a different cloth. And so I wrote the Everyday Hero Manifesto not only to give tools but to give philosophy because methodology without philosophy is an empty sport. Wow. And I'd love to dial into that point. Yeah. But that's why I wrote the book. There are no extra people on the planet today. A lot of people are suffering. A lot of people have resigned themselves to average and given up on their genius, which they were born into. And I want to help them to remember that.

1:05:05And so let's talk about that philosophy part a little bit, too. What did you mean when you said that? It's a great question because I've done a lot of these interviews and everyone so many times it's like, what are the tactics? Yeah. What are the habits? Yeah. So what do I need to do? Right. I think we live in a mathematical world. So it's all about doing. It's all about what do we need to do? Give me the five steps. And the book is full of, as you've seen, hundreds and hundreds of tools that I've shared with many of the most successful people in the world as their mentor. But philosophy is your mountaintop.

1:05:37If you don't know your Mount Everest, then what's the point of having great methodology to scale the wrong mountain? That's a recipe for heartbreak. Well, by the way, I completely agree with you. It's interesting. I'm constantly asked for tactics and strategies because that's the thing right now. Sure. It's really interesting. But if you have an understanding of why you're doing something and the belief systems behind it, usually those works are empty. And I think a lot of times it's a very vogue, you know, very in vogue thing right now to be teaching. OK, this is my routine. This is the thing I do.

1:06:05And you and I both do a lot of that. But I think without an understanding of why or how philosophically, it's it's something that doesn't work for most people. But it's interesting to use the word hero because and genius, because I don't think most people view themselves the ditch digger, for example, The mother who's right now raising three kids that are running around the house, plus trying to write her, you know, her blog that she's doing right now. And just she doesn't look at herself as heroic. In fact, I think in the book, there's a chapter that you have. I think it's called from victim to hero, the leaps that one must make.

1:06:36And I think the other thing in our culture right now, more than ever, is there is a little bit of a victim mentality. And that, you know, that maybe the world's conspiring against me or my conditions, my background, my story, my shame, my mistakes that I've made in my life. disqualify me from doing anything heroic in the future. Right. And so let's talk a little about those leaps in that process. Well, one of the chapters in the book is called the chestnut sellers doctrine. And I spent a lot of time in Europe. And one night I love doing these wisdom walks late at night, sometimes two in the morning, five in the morning.

1:07:09I walk the streets and I just think and I look at the stars. And so it was about midnight and the luxury stores were empty. tourists streamed out of these beautiful restaurants not a lot of people were really on the street and there was one square in particular and there was a man hunched over i still remember it with a blue woolen cap with moonbeams sort of over him and as i grew nearer i noticed he was he was heating chestnuts and he had this little rickety stove and these chestnuts on it and he was just moving it and there was a gentle smile on his face and I walked over because I think everyone we meet has a story to tell and a lesson to teach if we have the openness to hear it.

1:07:58Agreed. So I walked over and I bought some of his chestnuts and I said, you know, what's your story? And he said, well, I'm an immigrant to this country. I was a very successful business person. I got ill. I lost my home. I lost my fortune. I lost my business. He said, I moved here. and now I buy these chestnuts and I warm them and I sell them to tourists and people who are walking by on the street and I work many many hours a day but he says you know I can still work and so I can still make people happy and to me that's you know in a world where you're right there is a lot of entitlement in this world but you know I've met mentored so many billionaires for example and one thing about the billionaires they all are intimate with their access of power And what does that mean?

1:08:44Well, it means that you can tell a victim, and I'm not judging just reporting, but victims give away their power to external circumstances. They say it's because of the economy. It's because of the pandemic. It's because of my husband, because of my wife, because of my children, because of my past, that I can't live my genius and change the world. But people, as you know so well, you're one of them. People who do amazing things in the world are very intimate with their inner heroism. And they don't depend on the world to give them a living. They're willing to exercise their own discipline to materialize their own gifts and their talents.

1:09:19How does that happen? It comes with practice. Do we all have this potential? Absolutely. Martin Luther King Jr. said, unless you found something you're willing to die for, you're not fit to live. I would take a bullet for the idea that any person on the planet today, with the right philosophy, with the right methodology, with enough time can do incredible things with their lives. And again, that doesn't mean they need to be a billionaire. Correct. You know, that's where I think that the world has fallen apart. It's like you hear people introducing people. He's really important because he's a billionaire.

1:09:55Yeah, but what about the person who helps kids walk across? It's like we're all important. I think we have this addiction now to the big. Yes, exactly. It's got to be big. That's it. Or it's not important. And if you actually reflect on your own lives, it's actually typically things in quiet moments and small things that have been gifts given to you by people that aren't well-known or aren't wealthy that have made the biggest difference in your own lives. I think I have a sister. Because I think sometimes people think, well, hey, you're pretty well-known now. You're moving and shaking and doing all these things.

1:10:27I've made a couple bucks and influenced people. And my sister is a, she's my middle sister, Andrea. I don't know why all of a sudden it's getting me because she's been my middle sister for a long time. makes me emotional, but my sister was basically born with diabetes. And over time, she lost her vision. And I think she's legally blind. She can't drive anymore. I've helped connect her with some doctors. She can see a little bit now, but she's a school teacher and in a quiet little Christian school, she doesn't make any money. But for the last 20 years of her life, she's been making a difference in these young, beautiful souls lives over and over every day, no camera on her, no Instagram, no big money, no big impact, yet she is an everyday hero.

1:11:12She's the type of person that you write about in her book. I hope she's listening to this so she knows how heroic she is. But you use the word, I want to understand this a little deeper because I think you can articulate it. You said become more intimate with it, intimate with their own understanding of their heroism. How does one begin to do that? I think the fourth chapter of the everyday hero manifesto is the gold miners paradox. In ancient Thailand, there was a golden Buddha. It was a towering figure made of pure gold. The people around the country worshipped it. It was this incredibly value, incredible value of this treasure.

1:11:53And then it became clear that invaders were going to come into the country and the warriors were going to take it. So the inhabitants hatched a plan and they decided to hide the golden Buddha. And so what they decided to do was put layer upon layer upon layer of mud and soil and clay and rocks to hide this magnificent treasure. And sure enough, when the warriors came in, they walked right by it and they missed the golden Buddha. Well, a few hundred years later, Ed, you know, there was this young boy walking by and he sees this gold peeking out from all this mountain of mud. And he and other people, his neighbors started chipping away at the layers of mud.

1:12:32And every time they chipped away at a bit more mud, more of the gold shined. There was an immediate payoff. And they chipped away more of the layers of the mud and more of the golden Buddha started to shine. And as they did it day after day after day and after a few weeks, there was this incredible treasure known as the golden Buddha. And you've seen I actually went and visited it. There's a picture of me standing in front of it. It's amazing. And I could not think of a better metaphor. So good. To describe. So good. How we've forgotten who we truly are. We are born into perfection and then we are seduced into average.

1:13:08And what does that look like? It looks like the programming of our mothers, fathers, teachers, preachers, peers, etc. It's the programming of the media. It's the programming of the world around us. We pick up doubt, fear, disbelief. And it's not only mindset, a key part of my work. I talk about it a lot in the Everyday Hero Manifesto, but even in my other work. It's not only the mental programming that we pick up that separates us from who we truly are. It's also what I call not only mindset, but heart set. We get wounded through macro and micro trauma and we disassociate with our brave and wise and creative and productive hearts.

1:13:48And so what happens if as this process continues, the layers get formed over the gold and we forget who we truly are. And then we have a story about our potential. We have a story about our prosperity. We have a story about our health. We have a story about what we can do and be in the world. And if you repeat, and our behaviors are always aligned with our self-identity and the story. That's right. And then we fight for that story, even though it's a lie that we've sold ourselves. Everybody should go back and listen to that last minute. I want you to hear the whole interview. But that last minute is the holy grail of what happens in our lives.

1:14:22It becomes this conditioned pattern that we begin to reinforce our own story over and over and over again. And then one of the most powerful things you could do, And by the way, it's the reason I want many of you to get this book, all of you to get the book, is that just an awareness that you're in this conditioning and this pattern has it lose a little bit of its power over you. And then once you're aware you're doing it or you have it, now you're open to the philosophies and strategies of change. But until you have an awareness that, oh, my gosh, I am doing this, I'm living this conditioning and pattern that my, because you were born to do something great.

1:14:52You weren't you were born special. You were born heroic. You were born wired with your own special form of your genius, your vision, your humor, your beauty, your nurturing skills, your listening ability. It could be any number of different geniuses that you have. And then you were conditioned to believe over time that those things didn't matter and that they don't make an impact. And so super powerful. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest.

1:15:25I got to tell you something. Today's going to be one of those, you're going to share it with people, and there'll be definitely conversations about it because of who my guest is. He's a psychic medium, but he's been a guy that I've followed for about two decades. And I've been fascinated by and interested in. And now that we've connected in person, I consider him a friend. So I'm excited. John Edward, thank you for being here, brother. Thank you for having me. I'm a huge believer that the people that I know that are very successful in business and even personal relationships, they rely on intuition far more than they do just techniques and tactics out of business 101 or social media school.

1:15:58Intuition is a huge part of life. Energy is a huge part of life. But I'm wondering, a lot of people, when they find out they're good at something, I used the word gift earlier. I think we both define what it means. No matter what yours is, you found out you've got this gift for teaching, this gift for touch, this gift for humor, this gift for discernment, this gift for caring, nurturing, intellect. Sometimes people, when they figure out they've got this thing, it almost scares them and they retreat from it to some extent. And that's what holds them back all their life. I think unhappy people, to some extent, know there's something they could or should be doing for the greater good of other people and are rejecting their calling.

1:16:36And that's a formula to live in misery. Anybody listening to this regardless of what it is for you you're this young man now you're becoming more aware this is a little bit different than everybody else or i have more of it to some extent i can i have an ability to tap into it maybe to an extent others don't did it scare you did you realize you were different it was it exciting me it was more like how does this work like how do i get better like build the muscle yeah like how exactly how do i how do i how do i learn about this and um my mom's younger brother was married at the time to a woman who actually did like card readings and she wouldn't call herself a psychic she just read she read cards and i remember sitting next to them she was reading from my mom and i i heard you can do this and it was like to the point that i wanted to be like who said that like like who said that and it was it was like a i want to say it was more of a knowing so for anybody that's like listening to this there's a moment where you'll have this it's not i want this and it's not i need this it's i know this and when you know something it's better than believing in something so for me the the like i knew it in that moment and that was that was a very defining moment for me where i like got up from the the place where they were doing the reading and i walked away and my mom said did you hear something that you didn't like and i went nope and i kind of kept it quiet for a while and i was like i believe i can do this and i went to the i went to a bookstore excuse me it was a walden bookstore on glencove road and um there was nobody in it and i went to the of course in the back section again because that's where all the books were in the back section and what i found really interesting is the shelves had this kind of like curvature to it and i was about two or three feet away from the the bookshelves and I was kind of just like looking at what was there and and I would equate this for any guy who's going to buy condoms at a in a pharmacy where you don't want anybody watching you like picking them up right and that's how I felt the exact same analogy it's like like I'm looking at these books but like I'm close enough to the other books that I can like reach over for one of those instead so I'm standing there and I'm like not near the shelves the woman who's managing the store is in the middle of the shelf a middle of the bookstore she's restacking stuff and she's about maybe 12 feet away from me and a deck of tarot cards fell off like somebody went and i'm just like i watched it happen and i'm like shut up right and the lady goes well clearly you're supposed to buy those so i did i bought my first deck of cards so you know i go home don't tell anybody and i'm like looking through the little book of cards that you know the meanings of it and my grandma's house was always hopping on sunday right she had 11 kids who had kids who had kids so you know packed packed attracted so uh i said to my cousin florence that i was doing readings and she's like oh my god totally read for me so i did okay so there i am you know with the book i'm like well this means this and you know and about two weeks later she called me and said are you going to be at grandma's house on sunday and i go i live here of course i'm gonna be at grandma's house why she's like would you would you do my cards again and can i bring five friends and i was like wait a second i'm like no and i'm like i have no idea what i'm doing she's like well everything you said happened in the last two weeks crazy she's like and i told my friends and they were like well can you get it to do for me and that's legitimately how i started like i started reading for like cousins and then the friends of my cousins and then their friends and then it became that type of thing and i started working at psychic affairs and that was the journey it's interesting when you tell stories i told you this off camera too by the way everyone listen to this you get to make up your own mind right about this these the different aspects of what john's talking about how it works for you in your life or doesn't work but you know and i want to make clear that for everybody as well.

1:20:20But one of the things that you do very interestingly is we're both huge energy people. You obviously feel it. I want to talk about that next. I want to talk about the application of some of these skills in every person's life listening or watching this. How can they apply some of these skills in their own life? But when you tell a story, first, you're a great storyteller, but it's true, but your energy changes. I see you as a little boy when you're telling these stories. We did a few off camera too. I actually see the little boy. That's not normal. that when someone tells me a story that I actually begin to picture the boy, I can see him and feel his energy when you're speaking.

1:20:57That just it tells me at a minimum, your ability to transfer and feel energy is at an extraordinarily high level. I just want to acknowledge that in you. It's not normal. In fact, I don't think anybody else I've ever talked to has that, um, that ability. So many, everyone's laughing off camera here, you guys, because it's actually true. Everyone feels it here, but let's talk about energy in general. Sure. I'm a big believer that you need to protect your energy in life. Right. We're going to be friends. That's right. I know. That's exactly why. And I also feel like you have this great analogy about the pool, too.

1:21:27So I want everyone to get this lesson more than ever in the world. Are there competing energy forces that are coming at us and leaving us at any given time? Sure. What advice would you give to someone just trying to be happier, live more productively regarding the people around them and the energy they bring? First, we have to do inventory. inventory. We have to look and let's make this about shopping. If we're going to make a dinner for your family and you decide that you're going to make lasagna, you may or may not without getting up and looking at your cupboards and looking at your fridge and freezer, you may or may not have what it is that you need.

1:22:01So we have to assess and take inventory before we know what we need and what we no longer need. So there are certain things that you're going to go, you know what? I have the cheese for lasagna, but it expired a year ago. So I need to get rid of that. So we need to assess and take inventory. What is going to be needed for the ingredients of what we're building or making now for the now, for this, you know, not the meal that we had last year, but the one that we're making now. So when we talk about what are the ingredients, I mean, the people and the energies. And when you make that lasagna, it's layered.

1:22:35And there are certain things that are great by themselves. And there are certain things that are great when they come together. But then if you travel internationally, you know that there certain things that they'll put in your lasagna where you will go, ew, not in this one, not for me, right? So using the layers and the inventory, we assess what works for us and what doesn't. And then we have to be honest. We have to be honest that we might love this person. We might love this person more than anything. But if this person doesn't work in the lasagna of your life, then we have to make a decision to not include it and to recognize that this is toxic so there are certain things that um in part of working with energy that i've had to recognize that this is not a positive person this is not a positive circumstance this is not a positive situation and i'm going to move that and i think one of the earliest things is you know growing up with an alcoholic father and losing my mom at a very young age i my mom on her deathbed literally begged me to have a relationship with my dad and I said no and she was like you're gonna deny me a dying woman her last dying wish and I said yes I am and she said why I said because it's a promise I don't know if I can keep and I said more importantly it's a promise you shouldn't ask me to make wow and she said you said this is an 18 19 year old boy I did yeah and she said why is that I said because I need to do what's best for me and what if he's not what's best for me.

1:24:05And now why can I say that at 18 or 19? Well, I can say that because I'd already been doing readings for four years. I had already been exposed to understanding the language of energy, the tools of the language of energy, you know, whether it be numerology, astrology, cards, psychometry, all these different, you know, things that were, let's call them symbolic languages to help us amplify the way the universal energy works. And so, yes, I was able to quite confidently say, I wouldn't be able to do that. Now, that doesn't mean that after she passed, I didn't make my attempts, which I did. And I knew they weren't going to be successful.

1:24:40And they weren't self-ful prophecies because I really did try. And I know that he did in his own way, but they just weren't going to be in this lifetime. Well, I think it's a powerful thing. I want to jump in and come back because you're going in such an awesome direction. It's never been gone on the show before. And that is that just because somebody is your blood doesn't mean they're the right energy for you in your life. I think oftentimes people kind of, they'll buy into this notion that this friend of mine no longer serves me, right? Um, their energy no longer serves me or maybe never did.

1:25:10And I finally got the confidence maybe to do some separation from that energy, but it's much different for people when it comes to family sometimes, don't you think? And, and, and that, I think what you're saying is giving somebody permission, uh, that if that is your intuition, if that is your energy, just because you share a blood with somebody does not mean their energy necessarily should be required in your life. Yep. And boundaries are important. I think it's very, very important. We create boundaries everywhere in our lives, right? You have boundaries while you're driving your car, those that aligns on the highway.

1:25:40You have boundaries in your home, your property lines and survey. You can't buy a property or a house without getting a survey and knowing where the property lines are, right? And that's where you build your life within the survey of those property lines. But we don't look at that energetically. So I want people to energetically look at where the property lines are for them and to know that it's not okay for your neighbor to encroach on your property and take the fruit of your trees without your permission, right? So it's not okay for, and you'll see this with siblings, you know, if you have two sisters and one stealing the other one's clothes, going in the room, taking their stuff, that's a violation of someone's property.

1:26:12And sometimes parents don't say, hey, hey, hey, ask first, or it's okay. So I think it's important to establish healthy boundaries energetically from a young age. I did that. I did that learning about this work. Very good. Let's even go a little deeper. What is this energy thing? Like the people are listening to this are like, is this just how you make me feel? In other words, if I'm evaluating someone's energy in my life, would that be the best way to describe it? This is how I feel from you. Am I energized, not energized? You take from me, you contribute to me. So who are we as people, right?

1:26:44We look at each other and we assess us by what we look like in this world, right? And that's why racism is apparent because people see differences and they assess those differences, they define who they are by status of those differences. But yet if you did not see people for who they were, but you only heard them and you only communicated with them on a level, whether it be corresponding with words, and you cannot see or hear them, then you're dealing with a communication of their consciousness or energy. So that consciousness or energy, which resides in this vehicle, is kind of who we are. And then inside this vehicle, it gets amplified.

1:27:18So using vehicles as an analogy, if we were to drive down the highway of life, you'll see all different types of cars. And you will, whether you want to admit it or not, see someone in a vehicle and assess them for why they're driving that vehicle. That's right. You will see the older guy in the hot red Ferrari, you know, with the convertible and the young woman in the car next to him and immediately think, but you don't realize that that's actually somebody who's a really successful person who runs a car dealership and that is his granddaughter in the car right so that assessment is based upon a judgment or an energy or what people are projecting out but then there is the exact opposite of that where what you thought to be true is true so you have to always like discern or read the energy of a circumstance without prejudging it so i always go to this one example i never look at my clients and go oh well they're probably here to hear from that person or they probably lost that person I've always been wrong if I've ever done that really yeah so I don't do that I wait till like it comes out in a reading and I remember having this couple who sat in front of me and if you would have said before the reading how do you think they're connected logically and who do you think they're here to see I would have been like husband and wife and one of the most parent he was her nephew she was younger than him his mom was her sister who had passed whoa And I literally remember that moment and that reading has got to be from like 1995, 1996.

1:28:46No way. Of all the readings too, right? I remember that clearly because it was just like, you know, if you were to assess the energy of who you thought somebody was, I would 100 % would have been wrong. So I waited until I got what came through and then kind of went there. But my point of looking at who we are, we are an energetic vibrational frequency, a consciousness, a soul, call it whatever you want. I like the word energy. Inside this physical manifestation where we have free will to make decisions in order to affect changes as those things ripple out. And I talk about a line of probability.

1:29:20On our line of probability, the past happens, can't change it, but you can learn from it. The present is where we are right now. But from this moment on into the future, that's not written yet. And what you do with your energy and your thoughts and how you project that is how that actually will manifest. Bingo. 3 billion percent agree. This is the most important. I don't know that we can cover anything more important than this on the show. Like it's hard for me. You articulate it better. It's hard for me to explain why I think some things in my life are, you know, better than average. Let's just say it that way.

1:29:49And I'm a freak about this topic. I'm a freak about transferring energy. If I'm trying to persuade, it's the transference of energy. If you're in my if it's if it's comforting energy, you know, intense energy. but I also am such a protector of my own and who I allow in my pool, which I want you to give that example in a minute, because for me, it's been the number one shift in my life is this idea. And by the way, for everyone listening to it, this concept could be new to you. This idea, just start to be conscious of energy, of transferring it, of your vibrational frequency. Those of you that are people of faith, if you're a Christian like myself, you can believe in all the things you believe in and still be aware that there's an energy field, that there's still transfer of energy.

1:30:33There's a vibrational frequency with human beings. This is not a debatable fact. It's a science. It's a real thing. And so I am a huge protector, especially as I get older. My friends are very diverse. You could have a really well-known actor, entertainer, is a friend of mine, and my bestie runs a transmission shop. A buddy of mine is a flooring contractor and another guy is a professional football player because you know what you do their their careers are it's for me it's not what they do it's who they are that matter in my life it's the energy they bring me i love i love humorous energy most of the dudes around me or the ladies around me are funny people because i want to have that part of my heart expanded but talk about the pool part of it if you because this is the best of the best analogies so one of the things that i am kind of known for besides like you know doing what i do analogy wise is i want to inspire people i want people to live a better life.

1:31:24I want them to evolve with where they're at. And some folks, when they come to see me, they think they're coming just to talk to dad. And then they get all this other stuff. And they're like, but I'm not here for that. I'm like, no, you didn't come here for that. That's not why you came. But it is why you're here. Because otherwise, you wouldn't be sitting in front of me. I go, so just put it in the back. Remember what I'm saying? And one of the things that I tell people is that we are an energetic pool. And I like everybody to think about themselves. So if you can imagine yourself sitting in a jacuzzi, right?

1:31:51Because it's not a pool pool, but it's a pool, right? So you're in your pool and imagine that you're in your space, your energy, and who do you want swimming in your pool? And they like look at me like, well, what do you mean? I go, well, if it's your pool, right, in your house, you would invite people to come over and come in your pool. I said, so now imagine let's take somebody that's very popular like Oprah. Oprah gives you the invite of the century. You're allowed to come to our house for a barbecue and a pool party. You're so excited. you go and oprah says just dive in and you get to the pool and it's green and it's murky and you can't see the bottom and i'm like do you all want to swim in that and then i watch i watch the people in the audience you know the cheerleaders who go like yes yes yes you know and then you see other people are like yeah i don't care whose pool that is i'm not getting in right so the reality is you don't want to swim in a murky green pool you don't want to swim in something that's not like that It doesn't matter whose pool it is.

1:32:49You want to swim in a pool that's clear. So when you think about the inviting of getting into someone's space and pool, if you've been invited into that space, you want to think about it from the perspective of, okay, I want to get into a pool that's clean and clear and that's inviting. But now if it's your pool, you want to keep it clean. You want to keep it. So your pool isn't going to stay clean without work. So you got to keep the pool clean. And the way that you do that is with your filter. So your brain is the filter. And your thoughts are the chemicals. So what you put into your filter in your pool is going to be what keeps it clean.

1:33:27And then you've got to actively work at it. You've got to skim it. You've got to vacuum it. You've got to make sure the chemicals are regulated. And every time somebody's in your pool, if anybody's ever had a pool, you know that the more people in it, the dirtier it's going to get. Sometimes you've got to shock it. Sometimes you've got to keep people out of it. Sometimes you've got to put the cover on it. but you want to keep it cool and most importantly you got to make sure nobody pees in your pool and people look at me like i can't believe you just said that in front of all these people i'm like there's no pissing in the pool right and that is something that i'm very very clear on who i let in my pool who i will not let in my pool whose pool i will go in whose pool i will not go in yep you know and my my wife might gets gets a little uncomfortable sometimes because i'm very very clear about that yeah me too i love the um between lasagna and pools i think everybody's finally going to get this.

1:34:13The mixture of those two analogies is really something I'll have to work on. But I got to tell you the pool thing. I told you this off camera too. The amount of people in my pool is smaller than when I was younger because I am so conscious of protecting who's in it. And I certainly don't let anybody. And that's amazing to me. So many of you listening to this that have said, I want a better life. I want to change the external conditions of my life, but you won't change the internal conditions of your pool. You keep letting people pee in your pool constantly and somehow you think your life's going to change you have to change those components and and by the way there are some people in our lives who were supposed to be in our lives for a certain time right their energy served us at that time there doesn't make them bad or good it just means it's what it is this is the end myelin show