Unlock Your Potential And Do Impossible Things

29:32Yeah, I want to be less. Yeah, me too. And you said something in there that was just, dude, there's so many, so much gold in there. But you said something, I think I quote this correctly, where you said your willpower will eventually succumb to who you believe you are. And that is powerful, man. Like it will eventually succumb, your willpower will. Not even close. It's not even, it's not even close. It's why, it's why most New Year's affirmations, resolutions or affirmations are gone by halftime of the Fiesta Bowl. I want to know last thing and we're pressed up on it, but that's just I want to know myself because I've worked with different guys, too.

30:08But you've worked with people I haven't worked with that. I'm interested in that. So without being personal about them, what does Russell Wilson, Mike Trout, Nick Saban? Let's just take those three. So different positions and one's a coach, one's a quarterback, one's an outfielder. Okay. Those three guys, and you've worked with tons. What is different about them? Because there's something different about them that's different amongst the different ones. Get to those levels. Everyone's different. Urban Meyer's a dear friend of mine. Lou Holtz has become a pretty good buddy. There's something different about those few people that's different amongst the difference.

30:51You know what I'm saying? What do you think it is or what do you know it is yeah well it's interesting you mentioned you know Lou Holtz because I mean you talk about somebody that doesn't have traditional aptitude and I remember being a 1997 finishing college in Pasadena California he came to speak I was able to raise get well get my dad to pay a thousand dollars to go see him one of the things that he that he would talk about because there wasn't a lot of digital content available was this idea that he didn't let members on his team quit. Once the season started, you had to play the whole season.

31:28You could quit at the end of the year, but that was clear. And he said, by doing that, players woke up every day, not deciding if they wanted to be a part of the team. That was already decided, right? So that would help me where any job I take, I'm going to make a two-year commitment. That's what my dad believes. So if I worked for a full-time company, my goal is to commit two years because I need to know obviously unless they don't commit to me but I need to have a better understanding of who they are and what they're about so when I you know went to to Exos I was there two years to the day when I went to IMG I was there you know 12 years but but that two-year commitment when I when I went to teach I taught two years at the first school two years at the second year so that was from Lou Holtz but this is what I would say and I know as we close, you know, why is Nick Saban, you know, this guy who worked at his dad's gas station from, you know, Monago, West Virginia, one of Forbes' best leaders in the world?

32:27And I know so many people like, why should a football coach be one of the best leaders in the world? We don't get to decide those things. You know, other people make those decisions. But his message is universal. And if you don't believe it, you see who was more impactful during an F5 hurricane in the state of Alabama, Nick Saban and his players or the government officials of Alabama. And so what I would say about Nick is an incredible understanding of where he's good and where where he can get better. And he supplements all the areas. he's not afraid to reach out to tons of different people, tons of speakers, a lot smarter than me, whether they're in substance abuse, motivation, education, inspiration, business, and then a handful of those people get a chance to consult on a more frequent basis for me, which was 25 to 30 days a year, and then play a deeper role weekly with him.

33:27So his understanding of, A, you don't need to be sick to get better. Yeah, I'm really good. And he's got a great system. And like, he's so good at what makes football players good. Like coaches good, how he recruits his architecture. Like, you know, it's not a BS positive message. So he's going to give a talk for 10 minutes. He prepares for two hours. Because he learned when he met one of the presidents of the United States that that he saw that level of preparation with the president United States and said why should it be any different for a coach now I think Mike Trout so so for me I you know my relationship was with Billy Epler and the coaches I got to consult you know 30 40 days with the team uh and spend you know uh probably a lot more time with some than with others but I got to spend a lot of time uh watching Mike Trout you know and and um because Mike Trout is you talk about like great to greater.

34:27So, you know, Mike Trout, and so what I saw in Mike was the humility was incredible. The athleticism was obviously exceptional, you know, and incredible. The grit and grind, you know, he was making 30 million a year and still going home and living with his family. How he managed adversity, his adversity tolerance, you know, when they you know and I'm sure he handled it well with Tyler Skaggs last year for those down in Orange County you know and I love Tyler and his family but I think Mike has an incredible process and he trusts what I saw was he trusts his process he's not looking for gimmicks you know what one of the things that that pisses me off the most is when somebody says I read your book what can I read next?

35:16Just fucking follow the book. You know, like I hate serial readers. I think what Mike is just he has a really good process. He trusts it doesn't vary, but but but but he's open minded and he'll listen. But he's not looking for gimmicks. You know, and you know, in baseball, it's not about getting rid of the the the the slump is happening. It's how you minimize the length of it that's the difference you know you minimize yours to four four games versus 14 games because four games like they can ride through with you 14 games man they gotta get something done yeah so uh and then I would say um Russell Russell's just the most incredible collection of world-class behaviors he just does everything like Like, you know, how he talks out loud.

36:09If you're negative, you can't live in his life. Like, there's no room for you. You know, like, there's no negative news on TV. You know, they watch Netflix. They watch other things. Listens to uplifting spiritual music. Yeah, he's not afraid of rap. He's not going to plug his ears or whatever. But the time he gets up, the nutritionist, his active release therapist, his massage therapist, his understanding of his body's physiology, and, you know, understanding of sleep hygiene and fatigue science. He has a great understanding of how that works for him. And then if you listen to Russell talk, if you go on the podcast we did with Zillow or some of the other things that we've done, this guy knows more than me, you know, because he lives it.

36:56He understands neutral thinking, the minimization, the negativity. And that's what got him through an interception at the one-yard line with 124 million people watching, which was 11 million people more than that watched MASH. MASH's finality, for you young people you may not know, but that was the most popular show. That 124 million people that watched him throw an interception was the most televised event in the history of our country. And he made that mistake, and we got through it neutrally. It was real. He evaluated what happened, what was the decision, feet placement, arm throw, all the different things, routes.

37:31This is real. And then we went down to Rancho Santa Fe. The book goes into this in depth about how we navigated it. We got what was in our control, a great off season. You know, that was all we could control. We got a really good trainer. We had a great off season, did all the things that you need to do, followed his goals, which was to run at the 4-4 level. He had run in the low 4-5s. That was an aspirational goal. We shot for that. We built everything around on speed so he wasn't getting caught from the back end. And then every morning we watched one of his fourth quarters going all the way back to his ninth grade year while he'd have breakfast.

38:08If you want to stay where you're at, stay like it's okay. Like this is where I'm like, this is why I aspire to spend my time with people who are already really good. We need to be neutral in our language. We need to be radical in our candor with ourselves. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. I have a gentleman here today that probably needs no introduction, but I'm going to give him a decent one. He's somebody I've admired a great deal from a distance for a long time.

38:46And I was thinking about it driving over here today. I think he's probably one of the three or four or five most influential people walking the earth, if not number one. He's certainly, in my mind, the number one force for good in the world and has been for a long time. And I'm just honored to have him here and share him with my audience for the first time. So, Joel Osteen, welcome to the program, brother. Hey, Ed, thank you so much. Man, you give a very nice introduction, but I got to tell you, I love your work. In the book, something that just stuck out to me was that God created the universe out of darkness.

39:16And a lot of times people end up showing in a dark time, I mean, in the evening. You talk about Genesis. I never thought about it this way. And I'd like you to speak to this. So, you know, there's a lot of people that are listening today that are in a dark time in their life. It seems bleak. You know, people have let them down or hurt them or their finances aren't very good or they just feel lost and they can't see the light in their life. They don't see the vision in their life. And you said something so profound in the book about that God didn't create the universe, create the world in the daytime.

39:45He actually created it in the dark in the evening. Can you elaborate on that? Yeah, this is awesome. It's a great principle because we all go through these dark seasons, and it's easy to get discouraged and bitter and give up on our dreams and give up on life. But I just like to think about, you know, the dark times, God's still in control. And I think the point in the book is I call it victory begins in the dark. Yes. So anyway, the day, you think about it, a new day starts at 12 o 'clock midnight, but it's dark. You know, why wouldn't a new day start at, you know, 7 a.m. when the light starts to come up?

40:20But the way God does things many times is he'll start in the dark. And you think, well, it's not a new day, Joel. It's one in the morning. It's dark in my life. I've got this medical issue or I've got problems with my children or I can't talk about accomplishing my dream. I don't have the funds. Well, it may be dark right now, but you have to believe that that sunrise is coming, that God is still working. I think about even that analogy of you take a seed and, you know, if it stays on the shelf, it's not going to do any good. But that seed has to go through a dark time. It gets planted. It gets buried.

40:54It's in the ground. It's dark. It's uncomfortable. People may be walking on it. But you know what? God created the only way for that seed to germinate is to go through a dark season. So I like this thought about you're not buried. You're planted. You're about to come up. You're going to blossom. Great things come out of the dark. And so I think that's when you have to just, that's when you have to hold on to your faith and say, God, I may not understand this. It may not be fair. These people didn't do me right, or I had this setback. But when you believe that God is still in control, that he's still directing your steps, that out of that dark season, you're going to come into a light season.

41:28You're going to come into a time where you bloom and blossom. But I think the key is we can't get bitter in the dark. We can't give up in the dark. And I know we have seasons where you think, yeah, you may go through a season of a little bit of discouragement, but I believe you can get out of that and you can have that faith to say, God, I believe that victory begins in the dark and it may be midnight in my life, but it is a new day and then I'm going to come into these bright seasons. I hope people don't forget that. It's one of the things out of the book. By the way, you can tell I really loved the book.

41:57I mean, I really did. And in the book, you even talk about seeds. I just give a little bit of it away because I want everybody to read it. But you actually, not only about that seed being planted, but you talk about the apple seed and how one apple seed can actually grow into an entire orchard, except it's got to get wet on it first. It's got to get dirt on it. Yeah, it's got to get dirty. It's going to have to have a mess first, right? And that's the difference. I think those dirty seasons, those messy seasons is somewhere, you know, what I get, Ed, is, well, where was God when this happened?

42:22But you know what? Not everybody in the scripture went through difficulties, most everybody, before they came into their prime, before they saw God's favor in great ways. I mean, I talk a lot about Joseph just in the book and in general, but I mean, think about his life, Ed. He was betrayed by his family, so his brothers were jealous. They sold him as a slave, 17 years old. For 13 years or something, 12 years or so, he was working in slavery in another country against his will, didn't speak the language. all these negative things. But one day he interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh and was made in, you know, put in charge of the, of the nation of Egypt.

43:01And so you think about, I think about Joseph, all those 13 years, would I have been that positive? Would I have been, would I have done the right thing when the wrong thing was happening yet? All those disappointments, his brothers betraying him, being put in prison, falsely, falsely accused, all these disappointments were leading him to the destiny that God had. And I think that's sometimes what takes real faith to say, okay, hey, wait a minute, God, I don't want to go through this setback. I don't want to go through the pandemic, or this person walked out of my life, or this business didn't make it.

43:28How do you know you're not a Joseph, that that's not leading you to your greatest days that are coming? Wow. Have you ever doubted your faith? I have not really. I'm not a big doubter, and I don't mean to sound super holy, but it's not. I haven't really doubted. I've had difficult times. My mom's going through cancer, and we all have difficult times. So I'm not that type that doubt I turn to my faith. I think, God, you know what, this doesn't seem fair or this is tough or I don't understand it. But I turn to it to draw strength from my faith. To me, that's where I get strength. I can be, you know, you can wake up some mornings and just feel like the weight of the world's on you.

44:09But if I can have a half, you know, a little time to just say, God, I thank you that I'm alive and I'm healthy and you brought me through in the past. And I remember the victories in the past. And I think you hadn't brought me this far to leave me. And that builds my faith back up. And I haven't really gone to a doubting place. I assumed you would say that, but I wanted to ask you just to see how you said it. Can I ask you a question? I've heard you say this many times. Maybe I'm getting personal. Maybe I'm not. But you'll say, hey, God, and then you'll say something. When you pray, I'm just curious, do you pray out loud like that?

44:39Or are you having these conversations in your mind, in your heart? I know how I do it, but I'm just curious how you do it. I do both. I start the morning off. I try to start the morning off. You know, it's not every morning, but then I will pray out loud, you know, just this loud. I don't pray super loud. But during the day, a lot of times I'll just talk to God in my thoughts. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There's a script that talks about, says, pray without ceasing or like pray all the time. We can't pray all the time. You got to work. Yeah, do this. But I think in your thoughts, you can keep, you can have a conversation with God.

45:10I think back to that, you know, people not being raised like me. Prayer is just talking to God like you talk to a friend. And I think sometimes we, you know, I have a lot of the people in our church back home in Houston, you know, half of them came out of a Catholic background or still Catholic. And there's a lot of, you know, formalities there. And I think, you know, and sometimes even the way some people raised, it's, you know, holy God. And it's a language that we don't talk into that. But I think you talk to God like you talk to your friend. You know what? Before I walked in here, Lord, give me the words to speak today.

45:42You know, help me to help me. Before I work out, Lord, help me get a good workout. Give me a safe trip home tomorrow. I'm just talking to God in my thoughts. I really believe God will be as close to you as you want him to be. He's a friend. He's not going to come, you know, knock you over most of the time. But you can talk to God all through the day, and you can draw strength from him and know that he cares. But I do pray in the morning. I do pray out loud. Just that's the way I like to do it. But a lot of my prayer is thanking God. But, you know, I just there's things I ask for, but, you know, I ask for wisdom and all and, you know, certain things.

46:19But a lot of times I just thank God. Thank you for your blessings. Thank you for bringing the right people into my life. I'm kind of I like to thank God in advance. In other words, I think there's some sometimes we come, you know, I talk to people. I'm begging God to heal me from this cancer and I'm begging God to send me somebody. And I know what they mean. They're earnest. But I don't think you have to beg God. You ask God, Lord, I thank you for healing me from this sickness. or God opening up a new door, God bring me a great spouse, whatever it is. And then I'd just like to, Lord, thank you that you're working.

46:48Thank you that you're bringing me a spouse. Thank you that you're healing me. So I think that grateful attitude, you know, is a healthy attitude. Yeah, I think there's a level of, I feel it in your spirit that you're a grateful man. And I think that that spreads. I think it's infectious. I also think that thanking God in advance, that there's a level of expectations in our lives that the world is going to reveal to us. And if we have an expectation that God's going to deliver to us abundance and increase and have us rise and give us peace and deliver the right people in that right conversation, that we're going to see it when it shows up.

47:22Don't you? I do. It is exactly right. You are very good at putting that, making that this message very broad. But what you're saying in, you know, growing up in church, if I can bring it that language is God's going to meet you at the level of your expectations. And I think sometimes we don't have any expectation. We're just let's just get through the pandemic. And let me just let me just try to raise these kids. And I think we get up and we draw in negativity. But, you know, I think I think God meets you there when you get up and say, Lord, I thank you for abundance. I thank you for, you know, health.

47:52I thank you for whatever your dreams are. You know, you get that vision and you get that down in you. And you're when you're expecting it, it's really, you know, you're releasing your faith. In other words, you're saying, God, I believe you're big enough to make this happen in my life. And I can go back to the scripture. You know all this, too, and probably people listening, too. But, you know, there's a lady in the scripture that's been sick for 12 years, and she saw Jesus was passing through, and she reached out through the crowd, and she just touched him. But she had a faith that when she touched him, she would be well.

48:22And you know what, Ed? There were hundreds of people around Jesus that day. I'm sure people were bumping into him. It was crowded. Yet he stopped and said, you know, who touched me? I don't know that everybody else got healed or they all got their miracle. But when you release your faith, when she had an expectancy that, hey, if I can just get to him, I know something's going to happen. I know I'm going to get well. Well, I think if we live with that expectancy, you know, Lord, thank you. It's another great day that you're opening doors that I can't open. You're taking me where I can't go on my own, giving me wisdom, helping me to be a blessing.

48:51Just an expectancy to like you're saying, to be a force for good and to see dreams come to pass. I love that. I'm so grateful we're doing this. Thank you for this. I, uh, for me personally, but also I just, I just know millions of people are being affected by it. It just warms my heart to know it. Um, but you're also a dude. And so I love this story in the book because like almost identical thing happened to me. And I love this because it's about the enemy underestimating us. So you're about 10 years old. You're playing a little league game and I was a little dude too. I know you love baseball.

49:23I played college baseball. If we both share that in common, Phil's telling me about how, when you gave your big talk, I think it was at Yankee stadium, You set the podium up over second base. So I do know you love baseball. Yeah. But I think it was one of those stadiums anyway. But so anyway, I want you to tell them this story because I think it's so powerful. In the book, you talk about how you come up to bat and what do the coaches do? But I love your response because you're still a dude, right? That's it. That's it. Yeah. It's funny, Ed, because we're both, we're not six foot five. We're both good sizes.

49:51But I was always very, very small growing up, height-wise. Yeah, height-wise. And so I'm in like Little League, like 10 or 11 years old, and I come up to bat. And I was a good player. I played second base, but I was just so small. So I come up to bat at a Little League game. You got all the parents on both sides. And, you know, as a kid, you're still trying to figure out who you are to begin with. So the coach from the other team comes out of the dugout when I come up to bat, and he starts waving and hollering to his outfield saying, come in, come in, come in. And he's just way, way too dramatic.

50:22You know, he could have done it a lot more subtly. And, you know, he's basically saying, come in, this loser's up to bat. I mean, you know what? I just thought, you know what? This guy does not know what's in me. He does not know what I can do. He didn't breathe life into me. He didn't equip me. And something rose up at 10 years old. And that guy, the pitcher threw the pitch, and I swung as hard as I could. And it went over everybody's head. One bounce, hit the fence. I had an inside-the-park home run. I was always very fast. But the funny thing, the point of the story, not just to brag on that, But the point of the story is the next time I came up to bat, I promise you that coach came up with the same enthusiasm and started shouting, back up, back up, back up.

51:04And I believe that's what happens to us many times in life that, hey, listen, don't let somebody else label you or tell you what you can't do or, you know, make you feel like you're at a disadvantage or you didn't get it. You know, you're not strong enough, big enough, talented enough, good looking enough. You don't have a great personality. Listen, they're underestimating you. You've got to go out and, you know, hit the ball out. You've got to go out and use your gifts. And you let that boldness, that confidence rise up in you because people don't determine your destiny. God does. And so I believe that you step up with courage and with confidence and, you know, you'll see those same people that put you down.

51:42They'll be the ones saying, well, you know, look out, look what they're going to do. I love it. I hope those of you that are listening to this that may not even be people of faith are just starting to feel something stir within you that you're capable of more. and that maybe you'll begin to consider what Joel and I are speaking about today, but at a minimum that you begin to feel something stirring in you. And for all of you that listen to this, there's a reason why you've always said that question on your heart. It's a reason why your soul's always tugged at you is what's the truth about this?

52:07Why is that the main question you've always had all your life? You ought to consider why you keep asking yourself that question. And I hope maybe today's given you some of those answers. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. But let's talk first of all about getting laser focused. And I mean, this is your friend. I mean, it's talking to myself too. I always cover things that make me better, things that I struggle with. But I got to tell you, I think there's a different level for you.

52:39I mean, I think there's a different level for you to get obsessed, crazy laser focused. I say all the time, our obsessions become our possessions, but we won't possess them if we're not truly obsessed I bet there's been a person in your life you've been obsessed with if you're over 20 years old listen to this more than likely you've had somebody you were pretty obsessed with haven't you that you wanted in your life you wanted to date you wanted as a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a significant other how many times a day do you think about them how many times a day did they distract you from what you were doing with just the thought of them in other words this is what I want you to understand when you're laser obsessed focused your obsession distracts you from what you're currently doing not the other way around you're not really obsessed with it if you're easily distracted from it this is so important you right now can test whether it's your obsession with whether it distracts you constantly the first thing you think of when you wake up last thing before you go to bed when you have a big laugh it comes up when you cry it comes up when you're watching TV it comes up when you're doing your regular job but it's your side hustle it comes up you You can't stop thinking about it.

53:46It distracts you from the rest of your life. That's what an obsession does. When it's not really your obsession, the rest of your life distracts you from it. And so the it in your life is so important. But there's all these things that distract us today. I'm going to give you a recommendation. Turn your damn TV off. Turn the radio off most of the time. Turn your phone off a lot too. So here's the deal. The TV's competing constantly to distract you with stuff that really doesn't matter. I'm not saying by the way don't be informed don't know what's going on in the world because that makes you more interesting right you should know what's going on in the world but let's be real does it really matter what's going on with the Kardashians right now does it really matter they live on my street in one of my neighborhoods right and they're very nice people but I got to be honest with you what happens in their life doesn't dramatically impact my but how many people are more obsessed with the Kardashians and I can say this is good friends we have many good friends in reality television they're even listening this right now and they would tell you this don't be so obsessed with them be obsessed with your own reality TV program called your own life right how about the news all the time to try to distract us before it was Obama now it's Trump you better Trump's going crazy today Obama was nuts about this healthcare Iraq Iran North Korea right like all these things and most of these things don't impact our own lives I'm not saying don't know about them but it's such a convenient escape from the work it's such a convenient escape from our obsessions the left against the right Republicans against Democrats who's gonna be the next president who's gonna get the Democratic nomination can they beat Trump right who cares who cares right now you got to win in your own life it's like when I say this people say well that's not you know a very professional evolved opinion I'm just telling you what it takes to win what it takes to win is not worrying about all that stuff that should be the background noise but talking about it thinking about it watching TV about it who cares what's going on in the real whatever's of anywhere who cares what the Kardashians are doing who cares who's running for office right say well wait a minute aren't you socially conscious here's all I know I've been alive through many different presidents Republican and Democrat none of them changed my life none of them did and none of them are gonna change your life if we're being real people ask me all the time why don't you run for office because I think entrepreneurs change the world I think grassroots movements of good people and communities change the world I don't think politicians change the world and I don't mean that negatively I coach many of them I've coached several of them I want there to be good ones I want them to make good decisions but I don't obsess about it because it doesn't dramatically impact my own life in fact if you think about it the majority of people obsessed with politics have I'm just mean this nicely they don't have much going on in their own life so it's a convenient distraction to be mad at a politician because you're losing it's a convenient distraction to get caught up in some issue outside of yourself so you have to focus on your own life if you can spend enough time obsessing about what these politicians or reality stars do no one will look at you but eventually in your life you're faced with you eventually in your life it's you eventually it's your life eventually they won't be on TV eventually it'll all be gone remember how obsessed you were with President Obama whether you loved him or hated him he's gone now it's a new guy and in either two more years or six more years it'll be a new woman hopefully right so getting obsessed with these things doesn't matter men so many of you obsessed with sports you're fans of these teams did it really change your life when the Patriots won the Super Bowl like if you're a Patriot fan on Saturday they hadn't yet won on Sunday night they won how different was your life Tom Brady's life was different yours wasn't you Laker fans or basketball fans does it really matter like if your team wins does it really matter I got news for you guys.

57:30You don't play for the team. You don't. I know you think you do. I know you wear their jerseys. I think it's one of the funniest things in life. And I don't mean this critically, please. I mean this as a brother, guys. But you're running around wearing a jersey with an other grown man's name on the back of it. Isn't that a little bit ridiculous? I mean, some of you ladies are nodding. My husband needs to hear this. Hey, dude, I don't mean this critically, but really, a grown ass man, you're wearing the name of another man on the back of your jersey every single day. Literally, your name isn't Bryant or James or Trout or Brady, but you wear their name on the back of you.

58:05Isn't that a little bit odd? We won Sunday. No, we didn't win. They won. You got to go back to work on Monday. You don't play for that team. And it's time you wake up and start getting focused on your own life. I'm not saying don't watch the game, but being obsessed with it throughout the week. Who's injured? Who's hurt? Are we going to win? and we aren't doing anything because you don't play for them. In fact, players trade teams so much, what you really are rooting for is like laundry. You root for the team that has like this jersey that's your color, but the players change all the time. Yet you keep rooting for these teams.

58:37What a catastrophic, and I mean this as love because I'm a sports fan. I love the Red Sox, the Patriots. I'm a New England area sports fan. But I don't really get real caught up in it. I go to enjoy the game once in a while and how great they are as athletes, but what a catastrophic waste of your own life to be worrying about what professional athletes do and pretending to be on their team you're not on the team you don't win or lose they do right they do so wake up and get focused on your own goals your own I can hear all the women going amen tell him preach right ladies and in your cases it might be your sports team it might be your politics it might be the television star it might be some author you love it It might be something like that for men or women.

59:19For women, some of you at sports as well, but the fact of the matter is all of these things are a distraction from our own lives. You don't play for these teams. You're not on these shows and you don't know these people. And whoever wins a Grammy or an Oscar doesn't change your life. You winning in your life is what changes it. So tune out the distractions. Will you please turn your TV off? Get focused in your own life. Invest those hours on podcasts like this that actually impact your life. invested on someone's social media like mine who's actually putting out messages about your life and by the way I say this is somebody who has many of these people on my show many of these people that you admire are friends of mine as many of you know there are things to learn from them absolutely they're at the top of their craft but I don't I'm not deluded into thinking a top NBA player is any better a person than a top school teacher or a top nurse I don't think a top politician is a superior human being over a top landscaper or a top banker or a top entrepreneur I think the people at the top of everything there's things to learn from and guess what the people at the top of everything have in common they're obsessed on their own lives not other people's those athletes you admire didn't get there by worrying about your life did they and so tune out the distractions in our lives turn the TV off get some perspective get obsessed because we do it because it's an escape because we don't have to look at ourselves I'm challenging you to look at yourself even on the podcast space narrow it down to the three four or five of us that make the biggest difference for you and then when you're done listening to us go to work and execute right you can get over trained you can listen to too many different shows I happen to think you should be listening to mine because I think it's the best content but pick a few right don't be listen to 40 of them because there's time that you could be executing in your life if you listen to it in the car at the gym listen to as many as you want but in half of those times pick three or for the rest of the time be executing on your dream so what I'm telling you is CNN ESPN Fox News right the e-channel I have friends on all those channels they're out to take you from your dreams they're part of the enemy of stealing your dreams because they had just not consciously but they take your time they divert your focus can you get obsessed on one thing what other things divert our focus the things in life that don't matter our own negative thoughts our own insecurities, our own weaknesses, these distract us.

1:01:42Failure distracts us. Gossiping of other people distracts us. Talking about other people. Worrying about haters. Getting caught up in things that don't matter in our life. Drugs and alcohol distract us. There's all these things. When you start to pile them into life, what's your distraction? Just be honest. Is it living vicariously through your children? Is it living through them and their soccer team and their Little League and their grades are you distracted by living through your children are you distracted by ESPN are you distracted by movies Netflix video games gossip haters Fox News CNN right your problems are you distracted with things that don't matter in your life there's all these things competing to get you to not be focused how about your insecurities how about your fears how about your worries or your problems are you using all of these do you kinda your relationship issues does it distract you from your big goals do you let these things do you almost willingly do it here's what I think most of us are willing participants in our own distraction and we need to be willing participants in our own focus in our own obsessions and getting ourselves back on plan because remember what I told you if you're really obsessed the obsession will distract you from these things but if you're not obsessed these things will distract you from that thing and this requires self auditing on your part and And so that's the part one that I think steals more dreams than almost anything in life right now is this obsession with distraction.

1:03:11It's the obsession with other people think about us. It's all of these things competing except the one thing that matters, the one thing. But the best of the best, listen to me, the one thing dominates their life. The reason some of the athletes I work with have a hard time when they retire, can I be honest with you? Because they were so great at what they did because they were so obsessed on that one thing. when that one thing is gone, they don't know what to do with themselves with all these distractions now. Because the best in everything don't live with distraction, they live with obsession and focus.

1:03:42I'm not saying don't be a complete person. But I'm saying for you to complete your journey towards maxing out, for you to completely max out your life, you must eliminate all of these things that take you by the wayside. And so now the second part of the coin, if we're going to win, right, is the sacrifice. I want you to write this down I need to embrace the suffering you know there's something powerful that once you just sort of embrace the fact that in order to achieve something big you've got to get rid of these distractions and then the other layer of it is you're probably gonna have to have some suffering to get there or some sacrifice to get there and so once you've embraced and decided that this suffering this sacrifice you're making is an indicator of progress it's an indicator of obsession suffering and sacrifice and hard work is an indication of progress towards our dreams the lack of sacrifice the lack of suffering in our lives its removal its non-existence also equates to a non-existence of a great life a non-existence of a dream happening a big one anyway and so embrace the fact that you're gonna have to sacrifice and suffer to some extent once you've embraced that it's going to happen it's almost not that bad it's kind of like those of you that are fit we already know and you already know even if you're not you've sort of accepted that before you go to the gym and get there you're gonna have to suffer and we go anyway it becomes a habit no one goes into a gym thinking I'm not gonna have to sacrifice or suffer there'll be no discomfort or no pain but millions of people go anyway don't they to the gym on some level they're suffering in the gym whether it's breathing heavy or sweating or aches or pains or stress you know everything in the gym is a sacrifice and to some extent you're suffering going through some pain you know it before you go don't you yet most of us go all the time yet in life outside of that one area most of us worried about suffering we're afraid of it when we're suffering and sacrificing we wonder whether it's worth it we wonder whether we're supposed to we wonder whether sacrifice or setbacks or suffering is a sign it's not our real dream don't we see at the gym you never think oh I'm going through some pain and discomfort this must be a sign I shouldn't be at the gym you'd never think that.

1:05:49It goes with the territory. Everyone knows this. Build a bicep or a tricep or a chest or legs. You have to break it down, suffer and sacrifice for it to grow. So while it's happening, there's no part of you that says this isn't right. In fact, the indication of the pain and sacrifice and sweat, don't you feel better at the gym? You're like, wow, I really sacrificed today. I really suffered. So in that area, we all know to the extent we suffer and sacrifice is to the extent we grow. And your body is a metaphor for the rest of your life. But the rest of our life, every time we sweat, every time we sacrifice, every time we suffer, we don't do what we do at the gym.

1:06:25We start saying, well, wait a minute. Maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this. Maybe I'm not cut out. Maybe it's not my destiny. Maybe I just can't do it. It's the most unbelievable, ridiculous conclusion we draw, but it's what everybody does, which is another form of distraction, is doubt. The coins flip on each other all the time, don't they? Another form of distraction is just doubt. And doubt comes from the sufferer. It comes from a loss. It comes from fear. It comes from the sacrifice. And so just remember this. You're supposed to suffer and sacrifice. So let me ask you a question. What are you willing to risk in order to make your dream come true?

1:07:00Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're going to take a risk. Maybe it's financial. Maybe it's a risk of time. Maybe it's a risk at your job. Maybe it's a risk of looking bad. Maybe Maybe it's a risk of failing, of falling on your face, of going broke, of going through pain, of going through anxiety. Maybe it's even a risk in a relationship that's just going to be difficult while you do this. What are you willing to risk in order to win? And you have to accept that because remember what I'm going to tell you. The price you will pay for not making your dream come true is far greater than the one that you will pay to make it come true.

1:07:34Want me to say it again? the price you will pay the suffering you will go through to make your dream come true is incredibly small infinitely smaller than the price you will pay if you never do you'll pay that one the rest of your life and so ask yourself what you're willing to risk what's the price you're willing to pay because what most people do when they're trying to chase their dream or their big outcome the whole time they're negotiating the price in their head they're negotiating it should I continue to do it is it worth it I don't know if I can continue anymore it's getting higher and that price is failure that price is setback that price is looking back that price can be financial literally a physical price and what happens is if you don't negotiate that price in advance it's going to steal your focus and energy and become another distraction one of the great distractions of chasing our dreams is this thing that goes off in our head as we're negotiating the price we're paying should I keep paying it is it getting too high is it too much and you'll have people in your ear it's too big a sacrifice you're going through too much and you begin to negotiate it in your mind it distracts all your focus you can't be executing and negotiating simultaneously if you're in your head negotiating and negotiating and negotiating you can't execute so negotiate it now negotiate it with me now what are you willing to pay for me when I'm after something big as long as it's legal ethical and moral I'll sacrifice everything else but I will not sacrifice anything legal anything unethical or anything immoral but beyond that I'm gonna get it and I know that negotiation comes up front I accept the suffering I accept the sacrifice I know the sacrifice is far smaller than the one I'll pay if I don't do it and I eliminate distractions and I go freaking get what I want in my life just like you can and this needs to be your recipe as well if you're one of these people who's still negotiating whether it's worth it maybe you got someone in your head making you question it that is a poverty and scarcity mentality let me prove it to you when I didn't have money and I I spent most of my life with none, just like you.

1:09:30What do we do when we go into a store? We don't go get what we want, we go get what we think we can afford. And so I spent the majority of my life flipping price tags over. I didn't buy the shirt I wanted, I buy the one that I could afford. I bought things based on price, not worth. And so I'm sure you do, I didn't buy the car I wanted, I bought the car I could afford. So when I was broke and I had scarcity, what do you do when you're in that position? You negotiate price, you flip price tags. What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? Not what do you want? When I was poor, everywhere I went, flip the price tag.

1:10:04What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? I was constantly negotiating the price for everything in my life. You do that when you come from a place of scarcity, of being poor. Successful people and wealthy people have a subtle distinction. They don't look at price. They look at worth. Is this worth it? If you're constantly looking at the price tag, you'll eventually relent. You'll eventually give in. Stop negotiating the price. It's a freeing experience to totally commit. When you totally commit to a relationship, to a business, to your fitness, to your faith, it's a freeing, powerful, it's almost like removing kryptonite from your life when you totally commit.

1:10:43Can you do that? The people around you always say, it's costing too much. It's costing too much. And you're going, and maybe it's costing too much. You gotta start going, no, it's worth it. It's not the price, it's the worth. It's a subtle distinction in your life. That same scarcity mentality we do in going after our dreams. We want to acquire our dream. You can't be in price tag mode. What's it cost, what's it cost, what's it cost? You never get what you want. Decide in advance what it's gonna cost and then decide, here's the subtle distinction. Successful people don't negotiate the cost of something.

1:11:16They negotiate whether it's worth it. That's subtle. It's very subtle. If you're a person who's always thinking about what it's costing you and the sacrifice towards your dream, you're always going to be negotiating it. But if you can decide in advance that the cost is worth it, the negotiation stops and you go execute. What I'm telling you is if you really want something bad enough, it's worth it. It's worth it. So start to feed yourself the worth question over and over and over again, not the cost question. Cost is a distraction. Worth is a focus mechanism. This is so worth it. It's so worth it.

1:11:50It's so worth it focuses you cost Distracts you what I want to remind you of is on the other side of that suffering on the other side of that sacrifice On the other side of that laser focus is your dream It's one of the greatest places you'll ever be in your life And here's what I know by the way the times where you've been the most laser focused in your life Listen to me on this you've been the most happy the times you've been the most distracted You've been the most unhappy ladies if you listen to this you think about the times where maybe when you were pregnant, for example, if you've been pregnant before, and the amount of focus that went in on that beautiful baby you were going to have, the preparation for it.

1:12:26I mean, you're carrying that child right next to you. You can't get more focused on something than something you're carrying, right? And I'll guarantee you during labor, you weren't thinking about your electric bill or some email you had to return. You were damn focused in that moment. And I'll bet that baby made you almost happier than you've ever been in your life. for some of you that when you were cramming for finals in your life right that that first time you were cramming and it was so laser focused on something and you were happy you know the truth is that was a happy time in your life for some of you that have built some businesses or or maybe when you were in your courtship dating who you're now married to you were so focused weren't you during that time with that person I mean some of the happiest times of your life the most focused times in our life the less distracted times in our life also equals the happiest times in our life so if you really want true bliss you want true fulfillment it comes from eliminating the distractions and becoming obsessed there are healthy obsessions in life and the more obsessed we are about healthy things the happier we are whether we're obsessed with the happy times of carrying that baby and having that baby the happy times of achieving a degree we've had enough to the obsession we've had when we were dating somebody and we were so in love with them these times when we're there in the healthiest of our obsessions is when we're the happiest so I want to challenge you today to make that shift of eliminating these distractions and elevating your level of focus in your life and remember this there's three things that I want you to be controlling your state your story and your strategy state story strategy what's your state are you in a state of focus are you pumped up are you breathing deeply are you lasered in on something are you completely in there where's your state a distracted diverted state right hunched over watching TV looking at your phone worrying about Iraq worrying about North Korea worrying about Trump worrying about Obama, worrying about an election, worrying about who's in a fight on a reality show, right?

1:14:15All of that stuff distracts us. Are you in a state totally pumped up, totally focused on your dreams, lasered in? Number two, what's the story you're telling yourself? Are you telling yourself the sacrifice is worth it? The suffering is worth it? That you're the price you're gonna pay is worth it? And that you're gonna get on the other side and great things are gonna happen and your obsessions become your possessions? and this is the happiest you've ever been before and your life matters and you're not some fan of some team, you're a fan of your own life. That when we win, we really win. When you win the game of your own life, you really win.

1:14:48Not when the Patriots or Lakers win, but when I win and you're telling yourself that story. Or you're telling yourself the other story. Hey man, I hope we get our quarterback on Sunday. I hope LeBron can drop 25. And you tell this distracted story that's completely meaningless in your own life about some sports team, right? Which story are you telling yourself the one of your own life or hiding in the story of other people's lives? Let me say that to you again Are you telling the story of your own life? Or are you hiding in the story of other people's lives? We hide in the story of other people's lives through gossip of people that are around us talking bad about them We hide in reality TV.

1:15:24We hide in the news We hide in politicians and we hide pretending we play for these sports teams Those are all stories about other people's lives. Are you in the story of your own life? And then lastly, what's your strategy? You've got to execute on your strategy. You have a very detailed plan to make that story you're telling a reality and everything transforms in your life. This is the Ed Mylon Show.