What QTR Taught Me About Time, Peace, and Power

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1:49This is The Admirate Show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So this week's podcast is a special one for me because I'm going to talk to you about something I've been talking to many of my friends about now for a little bit over a year. I'm going to give you a term, QTR. You heard that before? My guess is 99 % of you are not, but here's what QTR stands for, at least in my world. Quality Time Remaining. See, I'm 54 years old now, and I'm on a group text with a bunch of guys that are somewhere between 45 and 75 years old. And most of these guys, I'll let you in on the inside, are very financially successful men.

2:28And we have this group text that we keep sending one another about QTR moments. And I'm in one group that's a little small group of just two or three, four guys. But I'm on another one that includes about 30 dudes. And it just happens to be all men that were on this group text because it was a trip we were all going on. and it turned into this QTR concept, quality time remaining. And it's something that I have been having on my mind now for quite a while that I wish was on my mind when I was younger. But I want to ask you that, you know, I'm evaluating in my life right now, like how much quality time remaining do I have on this earth in this life at 54 years old?

3:02You know, quite frankly, I don't know how long that is. It could be, you know, it could be 20 years. I'm not talking about how long I'm going to live. I'm talking about quality time remaining, like healthy living. It could be two years. It could be 20 years. You know, life isn't infinite. We all have a limited number of sunsets, a limited number of conversations, limited number of hugs and chances in our life. And I don't think life is just, it's not just about how much time you have left, but it's about how we choose to live it. Whether you're young or you're old, by the way, I know some of you that are younger listening to this.

3:32Han is this Korean philosopher. He has this quote. He says, young people, they're too alive to die and too dead to live. What he means by that is the rush, the hustle culture that we all live in, which serves us in many ways, and that I'm a part of to some extent, but that so many of them are, they're so young, they're not going to die. They're alive, but they're too dead to live. They're too focused on the future. They're scrambling. They're on their phone. They're watching TV. They got work. They got this meeting. They got another thing. They got this, they got that, and they don't live. So let me give you an example of what I mean by that.

3:58All of you listening to this, I want you to think about the quality time you have remaining. See, if you're 30 years old right now, I'm 54, but I want to talk to you about quality time. When I was 30 years old, nobody told me that in three years you'd have a heart attack, which I did when I was 33. So that kind of affected my view of quality time, huh? No one would tell you that when you're 30. You think you're young and you have a ton of quality time left. Well, that heart attack had gone another way. I wouldn't have had it. And it did affect my life. It didn't tell me that I'd have about 18 more years left with my dad, that I'd have 18 more years of quality time remaining with my dad.

4:29And then that would be it. And that's when I was 30 years old. They didn't tell me that I'd have eight more years before I'd have my first bout of cancer. They didn't tell me that. They didn't tell me that I'd have 20 years left with a good back before my L3, L4 would compress. My point that I'm making to you is quality time remaining, you may not know. And what we do on these group texts, and it's really affected me is when one of us is doing something cool, they send a photo, whether he's, you know, hunting in Montana or golfing on a great golf course or sitting on a beach in the Caribbean or sitting with their granddaughter on their lap or at church doing something really, really special, but we take these pictures and say QTR.

5:07And it's just a moment of quality time reminding everybody else in the group that we're on a clock that's ticking. And each of us send these pictures with the exception of me. I've never posted one. I am probably the wealthiest of that group yet. I've never sent a photo into the group. I think I'm the only one who's not done that in the big group. And it made me really reflect on my birthday recently, like, when am I going to start having those memories and those photos? And I better hurry up because I know at 30, I didn't think in three years, something was going to happen to my heart or 20 years, my back would basically get destroyed or I'd only have 18 more with my dad.

5:49I want you to really think about that today. And it's a good thing to begin to live intentionally. Maybe you should start that group text with your crowd, no matter what age you are. QTR, picture of you at the concert, picture of you skiing, picture of you making a great speech, picture of you accomplishing one of your goals, picture of you doing the things of your dreams. You know what I'm talking about, the things that feel right in your heart, not the things you got to do, you're in a hurry to do, you're busy to do, you're supposed to do. That's not what I'm talking about. You know exactly what I mean.

6:22those highlights of your life type moments. I remember when I was young and we would go out to dinner as a family. Every time we were done, little Bella would get out of her seat. This is by the time she was three all the way till she was a young woman. She would get out of her seat. She'd come over and sit on daddy's lap and give me a kiss. And we would just talk for a second. Well, the family was talking and it was just a chance for me and her. That's a QTR moment, right? I've been to world series games and super bowls. Those are QTR moments, but so was going to Max's Little League game or watching Bella play softball, right?

6:58Certain things I've been able to do when I've spoken on stages. That's a QTR moment. But you know what I mean, the things of your heart, of your dreams that you think you're going to get around to doing or you will do, but you don't do very much. Start your QTR text. Start your QTR list, at least with yourself. Maybe there's two of you. Maybe there's one of you. And start creating more quality time remaining moments because I don't care how old you are. you've got limited time left and time flies. And as you get older, it goes faster. See, that's what QTR means. Quality time remaining. It's a good reminder to know that this ends.

7:34There's a good reminder to know that we're on the clock. We forget as we get busy and we hustle and we meet and we do stuff and we climb the ladders that we don't even know why we're still climbing. And we should climb them. There's different views at different ladders at different heights of life. To the extent that you want to do really cool things, it does require resources. But most cool things in life require none. And we miss most of those in the thought that someday we'll get around to them. Here's what I want. A lot of them. I've lived a life where I've had a few biggies, but I want a lot of them.

8:13I want a lot of them. I think God wants you to have a lot of them. If I were praying for you, of course I want you to have more money, but I'd much rather you have magic moments, incredible memories. And if you don't get intentional about it, your day will get away from you. And then your week will. And then the month. And oh my gosh, it was a year and I had two QTR moments. Oh my gosh, I've been on this group text now for a couple of years. I've not posted one. And by the way, I've had some. They weren't in there, but I don't have as many as these other guys because they're intentional about it.

8:47Some of them are very wealthy. Some of them are pretty wealthy. I'll be honest. But the fact of the matter is they're all intentional about that part of their life. We're intentional about our goals, aren't we? We're intentional about making more money. We're intentional about our health. We're intentional about X, Y, and Z. But are we intentional about quality time remaining, the moments of our life, the memories of our life? Think that through for your life right now. If your life ended right now, did you have all the quality moments you deserve? Did you give them to your family? All of the quality moments, your children, your spouse, your grandchildren, your brothers and sisters, your parents, your friends have deserved.

9:26Have you created those quality time remaining moments, those quality times to the abundance and the amount and to the depth that you deserve, that they deserve, that you were designed to have? Or are you just frigging busy? Are you You just going to look, I believe in delayed gratification, but you can take that to an extreme like I have. And then you're in your fifties and you're like, well, is it time now? How about now? Right. And I believe in the service of other people in a deep way, but not at the expense of everything else in your life. And I have sort of OD'd on the service of other people in my life.

10:02I'm evaluating everything. I'm evaluating how much speaking I'm going to do. I'm evaluating this, what I'm doing with you right now, quality time remaining. I'm enjoying making this contribution. But there's a beach out there that I haven't been on in a couple months. There's some golf courses calling my name. There's some horses that need to be ridden. Both those things require my back to get a little bit better. There's some places around the world I'd like to see. And you know what? I'd like to just sit for a few days alone and do nothing. You know what I'm talking about? So that's QTR, everybody.

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11:17When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at goodtoknowfacts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit goodtoknowfacts.org. Number two, you need to recognize that time is a non-renewable resource. Stop treating it like it's renewable. Money, possessions, status, all replaceable. Time is not.

11:59So if you're spending time in a relationship right now that is toxic or doesn't serve you, doesn't fulfill you, doesn't give you quality time, it's the wrong place. Get out. Stop spending time in it or change it or change them, right? You cannot get time back. Don't spend another minute, another second in a life that you don't love, that you're not working towards, that you don't deserve. You deserve a great life. And by the way, when I'm on that group text, I'm like, I'm so proud of these guys. Yeah, I got another one. Yeah, I went deer hunting. Yeah, I played this golf course. Man, he took a morning swim in his pool.

12:30Quality time remaining. And I'll just send that picture. Picture that with your friends, right? One guy just last week, grandson and granddaughter on his lap. Quality time remaining. They were just at a park. I'm like, yeah, man, that's awesome. And I'm so proud of these guys because they could be doing all kinds of other things and distract their lives. One of the first interviews I did, I don't remember the young man's name. One of the first podcasts I was ever on, this young man told me the story about his father who had worked very hard all of his life. really hard and sacrificed everything.

12:59And I believe he was in his late fifties and he had retired. He sent an email out to everybody on the Friday. I've retired. I finally done it. And I believe as the story went, he was leaving on Monday to go on his first real vacation ever, a real one over to Europe. And everyone's chiming in on the email. You go, congratulations. You've worked so hard, you've earned it, et cetera, et cetera. And he died on Saturday. He never got to it. He just worked himself into the grave. This has become part of our culture. It's celebrated. It's not right. I'm going to be one of the first people to tell you, by the way, I've been sharing with a few of the top people in personal development who you know, and who shows you watch maybe like mine, hopefully watch mine first and most.

13:49And I've been telling them this and they get emotional. The people that I've shared this with that, you know, I've said, Hey, I'm getting on this QTR tip and here's what it is. And they're like, which please talk about it more. Please write a book about it, please. Now, by the way, once this podcast is out, somebody's going to copy it, like to do all of my work, which is fine because more people will hear it, but I am going to write about it. I'm going to take a deep dive into it, but I want to give it to you on the podcast today first before it starts getting copied. Number three, prioritize the important over the urgent.

14:23Often we waste time on urgent emails, errands, scrolling on our phone and neglect the truly important things, connection, purpose, dreams. Remember this urgency steals from importance if you're not intentional. Urgency steals from importance if you're not intentional. It will rob you of the important being urgent. And the reason it matters to be intentional about this is you're more powerful than you think you are. When you're intentional about something, you end up getting it. And so making QTR an intention of yours will automatically open up a space that didn't exist beforehand. This is really critical.

15:04When you're intentional about something, you've got to do a work, by and large, you get it done. When you're intentional about wanting to get your body changed, by and large, you get it done. Intentions matter. And when you get really intentional about something, eventually you make it come to pass. So I want to challenge you, be intentional about QTR. If you don't do that, your life will just go back to normal. And it's very easy to do. Many of you would say to me, man, I've had a QTR. It was like eight Sundays ago, I was riding a biker, right? It's not expensive. A lot of it's not expensive.

15:38It's taking in a moment. It's taking in a moment, but it's being intentional about creating it. These things aren't going to just fall in your lap. I think that's what we think. I can be intentional about my goals, intentional about making money, intentional about getting my body in shape, intentional about living a long time, intentional about my relationships, but the quality moments, they just sort of show up. They just sort of happen. They'll come along. No, that's why there's so few of them. That's why there's only a handful. But when you get intentional about it and you do that repetitiously over a year period of time, you have a QTR list, right?

16:16And you start really thinking about this more show up. And guess what? More QTR, better life. Less QTR, worse life. Period. I don't know if more money gives you a better life. Probably, but not always. Right? I don't know if being in shape gives you a better life. Probably, but not for sure. More quality moments in your life, better life. An abundance of moments like that, better life. Waiting for them to show up. Not so smart, yet that's what we do. We've all been trained and programmed to be intentional about goals, dreams, purpose, relationship, body, diet, nutrition, whatever it might be. And maybe even our peace, but not quality time, not those moments.

17:02By the way, number four, I advocate that you create a QTR mindset. It's always risky when you put this out on a podcast because it can be mistaken to some extent, or someone will get ahead of you on it. And I just want to say something to you, live like your time matters because it does. Ask yourself this question. If I only had five years left, would I be spending today this way? I think that should be a filter you look at every day. There are days of our life that require hard stuff and difficult stuff. But can I just say something to you? And I've contributed this as well. There's no shortage of people saying this on the internet.

17:39You got to do the hard things. You got to do the hard things. You got to do the there's no shortage of that. Now, was I one of the first people to start teaching it because I'm old? Yes. But there's no shortage of people. Some say it intensity, some say it with profanity, some say it kind, but they're all saying the same thing. So I'd like to be a voice that says, yes, you do need to climb because I want you to become the highest expression of yourself. I want you to meet who you're capable of becoming, but I don't want you to do that at the expense of quality time. I believe you can do both. I believe there's nuance to life.

18:13There's a middle area. May not make a great Instagram clip. May not be a great soundbite. May not be a great quote. But the truth is life is lived in that space that's difficult to explain. And I believe you can climb because I have friends who have done it and impact and grow and meet the man or woman you're capable of at the same time, create memories as you go. And actually those moments of quality time will actually enhance your ability to contribute, enhance your ability to grow and climb. Number five, adapt some legacy thinking. What experiences, memories, and impact do you want to leave behind?

18:54That's easy for you that are in your forties, fifties, sixties, and seventies to do. But those of you in your 20s and 30s, can I give you some insight? I was thinking about what I wanted to leave behind in my legacy in my 20s, which is why I've built a big one. And if you're not thinking about that right now, you're just going day to day. I'll figure it out. Listen to certain influencers. You're so young at 20 or 30. What are you talking about? Right? There's a ton of multimillionaires in their 20s now. There's this thing called a smartphone. You can start a business. There's all kinds of things you could do.

19:24Tell LeBron James he needed to wait. Tell Kobe Bryant. Tell Mark Zuckerberg. tell Mark Cuban. We can keep going on. Tell Donald Trump. Tell Barack Obama. Tell whoever you want. These people did a lot in their life young. QTR thinking pushes you towards legacy building rather than life drifting. So you can be working really, really hard and making some leaps and you're drifting through your life. In fact, I believe there's a lot of you listening to me right now that are growing and you are accomplishing and you are achieving. And yet, you know, you're drifting. It's a drift towards nowhere because you don't have the other part of your life intentional.

20:06Your goals are intentional. Your climb is intentional. Your ambitions are intentional, but the QTR part of your life is not intentional. And what you're doing is you're just drifting towards a finish line that never finishes that you can't even explain. You're in some big hurry to get someplace you can't even define, but I can tell you what you think it is. I think you think that you are hurrying to get to the QTR part of your life. If I just do enough of this, then I'll get quality time, quality memories, amazing moments. So I'll sacrifice all of them. Now you don't have to sacrifice all of them.

20:42Trust me. Everything becomes a pattern. Everything becomes addicting. Everything becomes an obsession. If you're going to be great. You have to be obsessed to be great. And if you're not careful, you can wake up at 54 and you've never posted a picture in the group of QTR. And yet you are the wealthiest and most well-known in that group. I don't want that for you, which is why I share my story with you.

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21:36Here's an analogy for you. Expiring milk. Imagine your life was a gallon of milk with an expiration date printed on the side. You just can't see it. You know it's going to expire, but you do not know when. Would you just leave it on the counter, wasting away? Or would you savor it while it's still good? What I'm saying to you is there's an expiration date on your life. You're as young and as healthy as you're probably ever going to be right now. The milk of your life tastes better right now than it ever will. Savor it while it's still good. Trust me. I'm giving you such good counsel. By the way, you can also think about the event countdown.

22:23Think about how you act like in the very beginning of a concert you've gone to, how excited you are in that moment, or even at the very end of a concert, right? Or the final scenes of a vacation. You ever been on that beach during your vacation? It's the last night and you just, you soak it all in, don't you? the view, the salt water, the amazing place you are, the people around you, the last night of a vacation, you just kind of soak it all in, don't you? You know that moment or the end of a concert you're at and you just kind of soak it in like, wow, right? You become incredibly present in those moments.

22:57What if you lived your life on the regular that way? Like the regular habit you had was the end of the vacation type soaking things in and presence. Not all the time, because what makes vacation special is it's not all the time. It's a distinguishing moment, a distinction between the norm, but it should be more of the time. I love the contrast of life. I love working really hard, but I do love the vacation part that I've been robbing myself of forever, soaking it in. Too many of you go, well, Ed, you're more extreme on that than me, so mine's not that bad. No, just because I'm really bad at it doesn't mean you're also not bad at it, just maybe not quite as crazy as I am, right?

23:38It can be better. Buddha said, the trouble is you think you have time. No matter what age you are, you think you have time. Give yourself this, the one day test. What if you just picked one day in the next two weeks to intentionally live as if QTR was precious? Call someone and have a deep conversation. Write the letter to somebody. Take the walk. Say the hard thing. Just pick a day. One day. And the next two weeks, go, this is going to be a quality time day. Right? Doesn't end up being the whole day. But you're intentional about it. See how you feel with that deep conversation, that long walk you've taken, the letter you wanted to write, the beginning of the book you're going to start that you've always said you were going to read or write.