Who's REALLY Driving Your Life? This Story Will Make You Rethink Who’s in Control of Your Life

26:19For some of you, it's the expansion of your contribution, it's the expansion of your emotions, it's the expansion of your wealth, the expansion of your company, the expansion of the relationships you have, expansion of the difference that you can make. But none of those things are possible if you aren't in the driver's seat, if you aren't in control of your life. And I don't want you to be standing around waiting for that inevitable crash that we saw at the valet that night. You weren't born for that. You were born to do something beautiful and magnificent with your life. And so I hope today you've taken an evaluation of who's really in charge, who's really doing the driving in your life.

26:56And as I've listed these different drivers in life, these different things that can take control of our lives, that you eliminate the ones that impact you the most and you switch seats and you move them to the backseat. It's not like they're always just going to go away instantaneously. Let me be very clear. When you make decisions like this, they don't just disappear. But if you can move them to the backseat and you step forward in the front seat. Now you're driving and they're spectating. They'll do their best to climb in that front seat from time to time. But if you understand who they are and you're aware of them, you can move them back there anytime you need to, and you can drive the results and the emotions of your life.

27:33I hope today helped you. It sure helped me just talking about it with you.

27:41This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

28:23When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp. The secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom's 60th. And never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end-to-end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone. Learn more at whatsapp.com. Next up is a little song from CarMax about selling a car your way. You wanna sell those wheels? You wanna get a CarMax instant offer? So fast. Wanna take a sec to think about it? Or like a month?

29:03Wanna keep tabs on that instant offer? With OfferWatch. Wanna have CarMax pick it up from your driveway?

29:15So, want to drive? CarMax. Pickup not available everywhere. Restrictions and fee may apply. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. You know, people ask me often, what were some of the decisions and choices and areas I focused on that made the biggest difference for me in my life? and today's topic is the thing that I would probably give you the gift of first and that is the power of your identity. See I believe the most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with the thoughts, ideas, concepts, and beliefs you hold to be true about yourself and that is what identity is.

29:55Identity is the governor on every single area of your life. It literally sets the temperature for all of the conditions of your life. Shakespeare has this incredible a quote that says we know what we are but not what we may be and the who you may be is going to be dictated by your ability to alter your identity because you are going to always be consistent with what you believe your worth and what you believe you deserve or what is your identity your identity the best analogy I could give you is like a thermostat sitting on the wall of your life it sets the entire temperature for the conditions of your life in multiple areas.

30:30And so most people think their life is dictated by external circumstances. They spend their entire life trying to control what is outside of them. You've all heard the great saying that people in 12-step programs talk about, about learning to control the things they can and letting go of the things that they can't control. And the fact of the matter is you cannot always control the external factors that are impacting you in your life. The good news is it's the external things in your life that do not dictate the direction or the ultimate destination of your life. That is a fallacy. Listen to me when I tell you this.

31:02External circumstances do not dictate the ultimate destination of your life. It's an internal game. You and your faith, your God, are what will control the direction of your life, not the external things that are impacting you all the time. And this identity is that internal thermostat. It sets the temperature, just like a thermostat sitting on the wall, of the conditions of your entire life. Let me give an example of how the thermostat of our lives works. The best analogy I could give you is exactly how one works in the room I'm sitting in. It sets the temperature of the room. And so the external conditions don't impact the internal temperature of this room because that thermostat regulates the condition of the room.

31:42So if we open the door and the windows in this room and cold air blew in here, the thermostat would kick on, wouldn't it, and heat the room back up to 75 degrees. So no matter what hit it, it regulates the temperature of the room. The reverse is also true. A bunch of hot air blue in the room, if we open the doors and the windows, the thermostat would cool the room back down and regulate it to 75 degrees. Guess what? That's exactly how your life works. Once you accept this truth, it is a fact that is not the external things that are happening. It's the internal thermostat. Too often in life, people don't work on changing their identity.

32:17They're always working on producing external results. Have you ever known somebody who was wealthy and no longer is? Have you ever known somebody who made a bunch of money and no longer does? How about somebody who was in a great relationship and that relationship no longer exists? How about someone who got in great shape that is no longer in that shape again? If your results begin to exceed your internal thermostat you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you're worth and you're comfortable at your identity. You'll think it's coincidental. Oh I was this accident happened or this appointment canceled or this circumstance took place.

32:49It's not coincidence. All of those things have happened because you set the thermostat of your life and you've regulated what you're going to get. Isn't that incredible that you can learn all the talents, the behaviors, the skills, the tactics, all the strategies that I teach you. But if you don't alter that thermostat internally, you could have all of the skills of a hundred degree producer and you will live a 75 degree existence because you will turn the air condition of your life on back down to cool it where you're comfortable. It's also true, by the way, you've seen this in your own life maybe you've had something really good going in business before you've got momentum it seems like things are happening great and then you wake up four or five six months later and you've cooled your life your business right back down to where it was before maybe you'd save some money at one time and then coincidentally your car broke down or a bill happened or there was a run of birthday parties and all of a sudden that bank accounts back to where it always was it's not coincidental you've cooled the conditions back down again and so you've seen this happen maybe Maybe you got in great shape at one point, but your identity wasn't that fit a person and you've cooled it back down to about what you're comfortable being.

33:53This is true in your faith and your relationships. By the way, you have multiple thermostat settings. You have one in your faith, you have one in your fitness, one in your money, one in your happiness, right? One in your business life. So there's multiple identities we have. The reverse is also true. There's been times in your life where the circumstances, the conditions were terrible. You thought you'd never get out of it. You're never going to eat again. Well guess what? you ate again didn't you and you heated your life back up to that same place again so you've proven this over and over in your life haven't you so have I so has every single human being the governor on our life the regulator of our life is our identity which is the internal thermostat that sets the temperature for our life so the key in life is to learn all the thoughts the skills the tactics and the strategies that can heat our life up in the areas that matter most to us but if we don't simultaneously change the conditions of our thermostat change what we're comfortable living at change your identity our worth change the thoughts beliefs concepts and value we hold to ourself we will cool or heat our life back to that regulated temperature and so I'm telling you the overall key to changing the external conditions of your life is changing that internal thermostat setting so that's what we're going to talk about some strategies on today just being aware that you need to altered the thermostat is a life-changing liberating condition I cover this in very specific detail and hashtag max out your life my book it's a quick read hundred pages I wrote it so that every page has strategies on it no fluff if you want the book go to maxoutbook.com if you put in the code maxout I'll buy the book for you so I cover this in detail there but I want to cover it in detail right now with you as well what you need to be doing is becoming aware of how important it is that you adjust this thermostat setting as you produce better results, as you start to learn new skills and strategies and tactics.

35:44See, you can move from an average business into an extraordinary business with incredible opportunity, but you will produce the same results you're getting in the average business if you don't change that thermostat setting up to 95 or 100 or 120 degrees of what you believe you're worth, the thoughts, concepts, and beliefs you hold true to be about yourself. So it is the regulator on our lives and it's the main thing I work on with my private coaching with some of the elite performers I work with in business and athletics and entertainment and politics is me working with them on changing that internal thermostat where we can heat it higher and higher and higher so that they can produce the results and the conditions of their life stay and exceed those levels all the time in fact in my own life I'm always working on my self-confidence I'm working on my tactics and strategies my ability to influence right my thoughts all of those different things but the thing I'm most obsessed about that I know is going to get me to the ultimate version of me is constantly elevating the temperature in the areas that matter to me adjusting that thermostat setting higher and higher and higher and higher so that I can get those conditions to match it because it always will you will always get your thermostat setting always in your life so can I give you any insights as to how to change that thermostat setting I can let me give you a couple the most powerful way and the easiest way to change your thermostat setting is by adding people to your circle very close proximity that live at a higher temperature in that area than you do for example in your faith let's just say you're a 75 degree or in your faith you've already seen this you can't possibly begin to regularly associate with good godly people who pray regularly who try to live righteously and they're at 110 120 degrees of of faith in their life and not have that proximity heat you up now you won't get to where they are you'll get to somewhere between where you are at 75 degrees and they are at 110 over time you become a hundred degree and you alter the thermostat setting through association same in business if you and I were to hang around each other every single day and let's say you were a 75 degree or in business hypothetically and I don't know that about you but let's just say you were and I was a hundred and fifty degree and we hung around each other all the time don't you think through that association right especially at two or three or four people like me in your life that just over time you don't even feel it you're at 80 you're at 85 you're at 90 you're at 95 and that's where you are we understand the power of this with our children because we know at school the teachers have influence over them they're mentors but the people that really have influence over our children are their friends because they're around them all the time and so we know it sets their temperature this is true in fitness if you're a 75 degree of fitness at every meal every day at the gym all your associations hypothetically speaking were with someone who was shredded and fit the way you wanted to look at 150 degrees you know over time you get heated up and so you can't be with someone every day you can't be with them all the time but the key is to get more proximity in the areas that matter with people whose thermostat setting is higher than yours I am a product you are listening to me right now because I've been so obsessed with this concept of adding new associations to my life that live in the areas that I want to improve in at higher temperatures than me it's my obsession to this day I'll give you a secret one of the reasons I even do my show is I know that I'm influencing many of these guests in the areas that matter most to them through our proximity and in some cases they do it for me and so I'm obsessed with the power of association but I don't just associate see all personal says yeah you're the five people you hang around kinda you really are the five to ten people you hang around if you're conscious all the time of studying them of observing them of asking questions of the fact that you should be altering your thermostat setting that's when it really moves it's not just hanging around it's consciously and intentionally spending time with people where you allow it to impact you where you study them where you really observe them where you're open to their influence there has to be a level of trust before you can do that where you surrender yourself to them but it's not just being around them it's intentionally being around people that alters that thermostat setting so power of association is the main way to do it second way to alter your identity is in a short window of time behave completely differently in a 30-day window of time in your fitness life you shock your system into eating or training completely differently than you used to or in your business life you make a hundred times more phone calls a hundred more contacts.

40:17You do something in a very short window of time that shocks you into believing, my gosh, I could never go back where I was before. You trick your brain into believing you're different. There's this part of our brain that always wants to be consistent with what we're worth. Well, if in a short window of time I begin to behave completely differently, your brain begins to believe you deserve something differently. When you begin to do the things nobody else is willing to do, you begin to believe you deserve the results nobody else deserves to get. This is important also because it changes the waterline.

40:45It's almost like a waterline in the pool if you raise it it leaves a new mark have you ever seen that before in a lake or a pool we raise the water line a short window of time and it just changes the mark in your life it changes the thermostat setting so you can alter things in your life in short bursts and I do this often in an area where I really need to change like right now I just started back on a really seriously deeply committed fitness journey I want to get back and past where I've ever been in fitness in my life so I'm gonna add some of these new associations I'm I want to train with a new group of people, because I've been training alone.

41:17I'm going back to training with some people that are fitter than me, men and women that are fitter than me. That's my first combination. That'll alter my thermostat setting, our proximity. And secondly, I'm going psycho the next 30 days. I'm going psycho. I'm altering my nutrition and my diet dramatically, my workouts dramatically, and I'm gonna shock my system in the next 30 days into changing the water line, changing that temperature setting. That's the second way you alter identity, alter the thermostat setting so that you alter the external results I've said this to you before as well see beliefs are so important to guard because once you have a belief your brain goes to work I've said this in another audio video where your brain has to go to work to prove your beliefs to be true your brain literally goes to work on finding the evidence to prove you right and so that identity you're constantly reinforcing it let me give you an example of what I mean if you believe a certain worth about yourself a certain identity that impacts the type of action you're willing to take so if there's a goal you've got set it doesn't matter what it is pick a goal to the extent that you believe it's consistent with your identity is to the extent that you will make an effort towards it it's a self-fulfilling prophecy however because what happens is if your identity is here and the goal is there you will only make an effort congruent with what you believe you're worth and so that limited effort you make produces the result not consistent and it reinforces the belief.

42:43It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. So you set a goal that is inconsistent with an identity you're working on. You will only make an effort consistent with the identity, which will get you to here, doesn't produce the result and it reinforces this belief you have about yourself. So it's important as you set new goals, as you set new visions, that you also upgrade your identity simultaneously you're in process of upgrading it because that identity impacts the effort you make right impacts the will you put towards it and that will is reinforced by the lack of result and so it becomes this self fulfilling prophecy so your mind has this belief it wants to prove to be true and it starts to find references so if you believe you're 75 degrees it's gonna start finding legs to put under that table to make it immobile so it can't move to prove you right and so our identity equals our effort and the challenge is that effort produces the result and so this identity has everything to do with the effort you make which produces the result which will reinforce the identity or the lack thereof so it's critical that you upgrade identity with your new visions and goals the next layer of this is you need to stop what's no longer needed in other words there were behaviors and thoughts you've had in the past that were needed to produce the results you currently have.

44:02But you need to stop what's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a behavior in your life that's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a thought or a worry that at one time was needed, but no longer is. Maybe there's a stress or an anxiety or a belief you're holding true to be about yourself that maybe you needed at some point in your life that you no longer need. It could be something to protect yourself from fear to protect yourself from harm or to serve you in getting through a certain circumstance But if we're not conscious of Dropping a thought or a behavior that's no longer needed we take old thoughts old behaviors That serve an old version of ourself into trying to become the new version of ourselves So ask yourself that question.

44:43What do I need to drop that's no longer needed? Is it a person? Is it a thought is it a behavior or is it an emotion? One of those things you probably are carrying with you from the past that maybe you needed to get through a circumstance Maybe you needed to get through a relationship through a setback through a failure or just to produce the results you currently get But that thought that behavior that emotion that person is no longer needed for you to go to the next level of your identity The next level of your performance the next level of yourself and then finally is this if you're stuck You're stuck in a story that's where you're stuck there's a story you're telling yourself that doesn't serve you anymore and you have to evaluate what that story is I'm serious right now if you say Ed I'm kind of stuck where I am well what you need to do is you need to alter your associations you need to do something in a short window of time no question about it you definitely need to evaluate what is no longer needed and evaluate the story you're telling yourself there's all kinds of stories we tell ourselves that don't serve us anymore this is critical maybe it's a story about your past a story about your parents a story about a previous relationship a story about a success you used to have you keep talking about that doesn't serve you to get to the next level if I can be real with you whatever you've achieved up to this point that story you keep talking about every second you spend in that old story about what you've achieved your degree some business you had one thing you were real successful at in the past every time you live in that story you're stripping time and focus from the new story what's the new story you're telling yourself you can't have a new identity without a new story what's the old story you keep repeating maybe it's not a success maybe it's a failure that you've had it was a business setback it was the market turned it was the economy it was someone who did you wrong a relationship that let you down a business partner who wasn't consistent a failure you've had a poor decision you made a mistake you made in your life and you're repeating this story to yourself simultaneously trying to create a new identity you can't take that old story into the new identity one of the things we have to do to create a new identity is to begin to tell a new story what's your new story who are you now what are you all about now where are you going now what's this new version of you see here's what's amazing at any point in your life you can just decide to write a new script You can decide to become a whole new character see the leading character in the story of your life is you and Guess what you and God control the script you could write a new script at any time you want Listen to me at any time you want you can simply decide to be a new character.

47:27I'm strong now I'm beautiful now. I'm handsome now. I'm bold now. I'm funny now. I'm smart now. I'm going there now Stop telling the old story. Here's the truth. Nobody cares. No one cares if you had a failure No one cares if you've had a setback No one cares if you had a victory and none of those failures none of those setbacks none of those victories and that old character You keep playing is the very thing that will prevent you from becoming this new version of you It's a story if you're stuck It's an old story you're telling with an old character that was last year's version last decade's version Who's the new character?

48:07What's the new script? What's the new story? I must tell you I have a lot of weaknesses A lot of things I do that don't serve me, but this identity thing I get this It's the key now There's a lot of little mini things in life that matter. There's never one thing if you said what's the key? I can tell you it's my addiction and my obsession to working on my identity it's the thought of mine that dominates most of my thinking that's number one so I'm conscious of the concept that's huge just being aware of the concept will put you light years ahead of ninety nine point nine percent of it just awareness of the power of identity just now you knowing about the thermostat puts you in the point one percent of all the people on the spinning earth right now and then the next thing I'm really focused on is always adding people to my life in the areas that matter to me that live at higher temperatures than me.

48:59The second thing is I'm constantly doing things in short bursts of time to change the waterline. I'm also super obsessed with dropping what's no longer needed. There were certain things I needed to think and do and say or people I needed to be around, emotions I needed to have that got me to the place I'm currently at. I'm evaluating all the time what is no longer needed, what emotion, what anxiety, What thought? What belief? What person? What behavior is no longer needed in my life? And then lastly, I never tell the old story. I don't like telling the old story. I'm constantly trying to write the new script, become the new character in my life.

49:39And it could just be the new emotions. It could be the new beliefs I have. It could be the new story, the new place I'm moving. But I'm constantly retelling a new story all the time. I'm constantly obsessed with writing the next chapter of my life not reading the previous ones The happiest and most fulfilled people don't read the past chapters of their life whether they're good or bad They are writing new ones all the time These are the keys of changing the internal thermostat of our lives and ultimately are the keys of changing the external Circumstances of our lives. I know today helped you When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter.

50:21You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at GoodToKnowFacts.org. No spin, no judgments, just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit goodtoknowfacts.org.

51:14That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today, we're going to talk about how to build unlimited self-confidence. And the reason that I'm covering this topic today is probably more than any other topic I've been getting asked lately about the struggles people are going through with self-doubt, not believing in themselves, negative thoughts about themselves. And I believe the solution to self-doubt is to build something bigger than that doubt which is to build our self-confidence And one thing to know about the fact that you doubt yourself is one I struggle with it as well One of the reasons I've had to go learn to build all these tools for myself is because in my life My baseball career my academic career my business career my speaking career I've been riddled with self-doubt that creeps up all the time in our lives.

52:04Am I enough? Am I good enough? do I deserve this is this something that's part of my destiny should I be doing this and if you're a religious person I believe the adversary if you believe in the adversary I believe the adversary's greatest tool that he could use against you to get you to lose in your life is to get you discouraged and doubting these are two of the most chaotic things that the adversary can do to us or that we do to ourselves in our own minds is to get ourselves doubting to get ourselves discouraged because you can't win when you doubt and you can't win when you're discouraged.

52:36What I found out though about self-doubt is that you don't overcome it. You build something bigger than it, which means you build your self-confidence and the greater and greater your self-confidence get, it minimizes the impact self-doubt has on us. Now, why is that so important? It's important because you have to understand one thing about the doubts and the negative thoughts you have about yourself. As hard as this is to accept, These are not your thoughts You weren't born doubting you weren't born discouraged. You weren't born thinking negative things about yourself Those were thoughts that were placed in you and given to you by an external source at some time in your life It could even be our parents.

53:17Don't do that. Be quiet. Sit down. Be a good boy. Be a good girl Maybe it was criticism you received as a as a little one that you may not even remember to this day It could have been a school teacher. It could have been ridicule at school from other children But when you were young in your formative years, these negative thoughts about yourself were planted in you by an external source. That's so powerful to understand because these things you think you believe about yourself that have become really true to you. You don't even really believe they were not your original thoughts. But the power of belief is so incredible in our lives.

53:51It's so insidious because when we have a belief about something, even if it was given to us by somebody else, our mind goes to work on proving to us that this belief is true. A belief is almost like this table right here, just the top once we get it. And what our mind tries to do is it tries to build legs under the table to reinforce that belief. So if somebody told you you weren't enough or you weren't smart enough or pretty enough or fast enough or strong enough or you don't come from the right place or you're not in the right culture, the right race, the right religion, the right height. the right IQ as a young person, or you were put down and these beliefs were given to you, what happens is your mind tries to prove beliefs true.

54:30So it finds references. So once you think it, your mind finds an example of your life where you weren't enough. Another one where you weren't enough. You weren't smart enough. You weren't pretty enough. You weren't handsome enough. You weren't strong enough. And it finds these references and it builds like a leg and multiple legs under table. And pretty soon you can't move it. And it's stuck in there as a firm belief. That's why we have to guard our beliefs so preciously because our mind goes to work on finding these legs these references Which are real experiences in our life to prove to us that that belief is true And so although you may believe it to be true about you these doubts and negative thoughts you have these were not your original thoughts That's a powerful thing to understand because you weren't born this way.

55:13You weren't born doubting you were born perfect You were born believing you were going to do something great. You were born happy You were born believing you were going to do something special with your life as a baby. I promise you you had no negative self-talk You had no negative self-doubt. These are external sources So important to know because those thoughts aren't really who you are There's somebody else's thoughts they gave you because of how they felt about themselves And so today we're going to talk about how to build self-confidence and how to eliminate self-doubt So how do we build this self-confidence?

55:44The process of building self-confidence is actually very easy Believe it or not self-confidence is self-trust self-confidence is building a reputation with yourself That you keep your word to you that you keep the promises you make to you when I meet somebody who has a ton of self-confidence I don't look at that as somebody with a big ego There's a difference somebody with self-confidence has a reputation with themselves that I do the things I say I'm going to do That's where self-confidence comes from when I meet someone who's not self-confident I know this is someone who has consistently made promises to themselves.

56:17They've not kept They've started a diet and done it for a while but not kept it They've made a commitment and goals to go make a certain amount of money in business And they started down the road But then they didn't deliver on it long term to get up at a certain time in the morning and then they don't do it And so they have a process and a habit in their life more often than not of not keeping the promises They don't make to other people they don't keep the promises they make to themselves and so the cool thing is Self-confidence is an internal game. You do not need external accolades external admiration in order to build self-confidence You don't need any of those external forces.

56:51It's all done internally You control this and you control this by beginning today to keep the promises you make to yourself And you have to stack the deck in your favor stack the game. So you win It's not good enough just to keep the promises you make to yourself You must acknowledge it when you do it to you to give yourself credit to create confidence momentum is what I call it. So whether that's setting the deck where you're going to get up a little bit earlier, you're going to make a certain amount of phone calls, you miss a certain amount of appointments. You're going to eat a certain amount of calories in your fitness.

57:20You're going to spend a certain amount of time with your children or your parents. And you begin to do these things you say you're going to do. You say simple things like I'm going to lay out my clothes the night before I go to bed every night, before I go to sleep. So when I wake up, that decision's made for me. And believe it or not, the fact that you just do something that simple that you then deliver on begins to build confidence. You say, I'm going to stretch in the morning when I get up and you do it all of a sudden. I'm not going to check my phone for 30 minutes. All these habits I teach.

57:49When you just begin to do the things you tell yourself you're going to do, you begin to build self-confidence, which is this reputation with yourself. So ask yourself a question right now. What is one thing right now, one promise I can make to myself that I'm going to begin to keep starting this minute and begin to do it. It could be how often I'm going to pick up a book and read it but you begin to stack things you commit to do and then you deliver on them and you acknowledge them to yourself you're in the process of building self-confidence why is that so important of all the athletes I coach when my athletes are performing at their peak level they're at their highest self-confidence level in fact I love when I watch some of the athletes I coach get interviewed and they kind of do this aw shucks humble routine in their post-game interviews yeah you know just part of the team you know I got a I could have done a lot better today.

58:38But inside, I know these people are incredibly self-confident people. Any of you athletes listening to this, you know this. The great athletes you know have incredible amounts of self-confidence. You have to believe in you when it's a battle, when you're a hitter against a pitcher, or when you're a quarterback against a defense, or you're a defenseman in the NHL against their best offensive player, or you're a golfer and you have to make a nine-foot putt to win a tournament, right? You better have self-confidence. In fact, the separator, more often than not at the highest level in sports, is not they're a better shooter or a better putter or throw the ball a little bit faster because everybody throws hard in the major leagues nowadays, it seems, right?

59:14That separators their self-confidence. It's true in being a parent. It's true in being a business person. It's true in every area of our life. The separator at the top levels is self-confidence. So now you have that first thing that you're going to commit to that you're going to deliver on. Now what I would ask you to do that now that you've done that is if you really want to build self-confidence Can you begin to extend that list of five eight and ten things that you are going to begin to do that? You commit to you that you're going to do every single day to begin to stock that self-confidence That's gonna change it now Let's go back to the self-doubt for a second self-doubt is the inverse of that.

59:48I don't trust me I don't think I'm good enough. These are the thoughts placed from the outside inside your mind The minute you acknowledge that that's not my thought that someone else's that's not you begin to eliminate I call it like scratching the CD. When I begin to have negative self-talk, negative thoughts, I literally picture, and I'm old by the way, but I picture an old record player or a DVD and I just scratch it. I scratch it. That thought gets scratched. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good looking enough. I'm not fast enough, strong enough. I'm not prepared enough.

1:00:17Once they enter, that's not my thought. That's something someone gave me when I was a kid and I scratch it. And I literally say to myself, scratch it, scratch it, scratch it. And over time, it's like a, it's like a DVD or a CD or a record player over time. That thought can't be played again in your recorder when you scratch it enough times. So I literally picture scratching and I say, scratch it. I experienced self doubt. I experienced negative thoughts and I scratch them. I scratch them. I scratch them. And over time, it almost becomes funny. It's that thoughts impact on me starts to be minimized over time.

1:00:51Every time I scratch it, I picture scratching it like a DVD or a record or a CD, and I say it to myself. Scratch it, scratch it, scratch it. And what it does is it acknowledges the thought. It loses its power over me. The first time, it's still got some impact on me. The second time, it might. But the fourth, fifth, seventh time, all of a sudden, that thought just doesn't have the impact on me anymore because I acknowledge it's not mine. I've scratched it. And over time, my mind just doesn't want to play that song anymore. It doesn't want to play that movie anymore. And so that's how I begin to eliminate those thoughts in my mind.

1:01:22I build up my self-confidence and I scratch my self-doubt. There's also this misconception from people that you are certain things, meaning some people have this misconception that I am what I possess. In other words, I am my possessions. And so they link their self-confidence to their possessions. And so they're constantly trying to acquire more and more possessions, thinking that's where they get their self-confidence from. That's how they're defined as a person. I am my possessions. Couldn't be further from the truth. It's a hollow way to try to gain self-confidence by possessing things Nothing wrong with going for material possessions.

1:02:01I have all kinds of them But I don't link my confidence to those possessions nor am I deluded into thinking if I could just possess more things Then I'll feel better about myself. So this is a mistake. There's a flawed thought number one flawed thought I am my possessions second flawed thought I am my accomplishments In other words, my self-confidence is only linked to what I'll accomplish. So because I haven't accomplished certain things, I don't have that certain title, that certain award, that certain recognition. I don't believe in myself. I'm riddled with self-doubt. I'm defined by my accomplishments.

1:02:34The difficult thing about that is now all your life you're going to have to accomplish more and more and more in order to feel self-confident and eliminate self-doubt. You are not your accomplishments. You are not your possessions. You are you. You are perfect. You are beautiful. You were born to do something great with your life. If you're a person of faith like me, you believe God made you in his image and likeness and wants you to do something great with your life. Not that you are your possessions, not that you are your accomplishments. And this is the social media insidious influence it has in our lives.

1:03:06People are like, I don't feel good about myself. I've got this self-doubt. The gateway to me feeling more self-confidence is if I could possess more things or if I could accomplish more things. Yes, having nice things will make you feel better about yourself. Yes, accomplishing things certainly is a reinforcement for self-confidence, but it's not the pathway to getting it. The pathway to getting it is doing something great with your life where you keep the promises you make to yourself and acknowledge this self-doubt, this self-thought, this negative talk isn't even mine. It was given to me when it was impossible for me to defend myself as a child.

1:03:42And maybe it even happened in adolescence and probably some of those instances have happened for you as an adult. And these ones as an adult are like that thing I said earlier. Oh, it's another time I reinforced the table. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not prepared enough. I'm not the right race. I'm not the right gender. I don't come from the right kind of family. I don't have the right education. And we find these references as adults to reinforce these self-doubting beliefs we were given by somebody else as a child. Flawed belief is that you are your possessions. You are your accomplishments.

1:04:12Third flawed belief. I am what other people say I am Wrong you are not what other people say you are good or bad I see too many people that if someone says something negative about them They believe that's who they are. This is the flawed third belief. I am my possessions I am my accomplishments and you know what or I am what other people say I am Let me be clear with you. You are not what other people tell you you are It wasn't true when you were 18 months old five years old or 55 years old You are not what other people say you are. So stop letting that dictate your self-confidence or fill you with self-doubt.

1:04:50And for the record, you are also not the good things people tell you you are all the time. Don't live for likes. Don't live for comments on your social media. Don't do things in your life just to solicit someone saying something great about you. It's a cheap, shallow, hollow way to try to gain self-esteem and self-confidence. It's fleeting, it's short-term, and it's needy. In fact, the fact that it is a necessity for you to get liked, to get people to say good things, to get comments on your social media, or to do so in your presence, indicates a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. Because we know self-confidence is an internal game where we keep the promises we make to ourselves.

1:05:35The fourth type of flawed thinking is I am what I look like In other words if I don't look a certain way Like what the magazine says I should or social media says I should if I don't look like these people I shouldn't have self-confidence and that's ridiculous. I can tell you straightforwardly. You're beautiful as you are Especially the ladies listening to this or watching this the world is constantly trying to get you to believe you're not enough You don't look right. You should lose this weight. You should gain this this should be smaller that should be bigger, whatever it might be. They're constantly messaging women.

1:06:08You're not enough. You're not enough. You're not enough. You are what you look like. And this is true for men as well. Let me tell you straightforwardly. You are not what you look like. You are your soul. You are your spirit. You are your gifts. You are the contributions you make. You are your intentions. You are perfect as you are. That doesn't mean we don't want to look better. Doesn't mean we don't want to get into shape, but we want to do that to feel better about ourselves, not for the accolades from other people. We want to do that to feel healthier and stronger and be the ultimate version of ourselves.

1:06:37But by no means does that mean you're not perfect as you are. By no means does it mean you are defined by what you look like. You are not defined by what you look like. You are defined by the content of your character, the way you treat other people, and the difference you make in the world. So the four flawed thoughts that I see most right now is, I am my possessions. No, you're not. I am my accomplishments. No, you're not. I am what other people tell me I am and say I am good or bad no you are not and fourth you are not what you look like these are flawed beliefs that lead right to self-doubt and away from self confidence so the things we need to do to change our self-confidence is a keep the promises we make to ourself and be very important we must begin to give ourselves credit for those things when we deliver on them I want you to remember this as well there's a power to the way we use the two B's our brain and our body.

1:07:28See, self-confidence can also be a state, a physical state. It's very difficult when you're moving your body, sitting up straight, breathing deeply, right? You're in that physical, strong state of being, right? Right after a workout, during a workout, when we feel our most confident because our body's at a peak state. One way to generate self-confidence is to move your body into a strong state of being. Move your body. Literally, movement creates confidence. If you think about some of the peak times of your life, whether that be the fun time you may be having with your partner physically, intimately, or laughter, or peak performance running, right?

1:08:04Or your great accomplishments. Yes, there's a commonality to the way our body is moving at that time. If you think about the times when you're the least confident, it's usually when you wake up in the morning, isn't it? It's the most down, the most fearful, the most anxiety, or before you go to bed at night. These are two times most people experience the most amount of self-doubt is right before bed and right when they wake up. Isn't that interesting? One of the reasons is because of how we're moving. We're laying down. We're hunched over. Our breathing is shallow. There's no physical movement whatsoever.

1:08:32This creates a state of self-doubt right before we sleep, right when we wake up. Or if you're just kind of depressed or sick, self-doubt starts to kick in, doesn't it, right? If you ever had an injury and you couldn't move like you'd like to, that stagnation of the body begins to create self-doubt and strips us of our self-confidence. So moving our body is a gateway to self-confidence and then our brain as well We have to take control of our thoughts We have to scratch the negative ones when they come in and replace them with great ones now I don't believe self-talk works all the time, but I believe saying I am strong.

1:09:06I am good I intend I'm a good man. My intentions are pure. I'm a good person. I make a difference in the world I'm kind. I'm gentle. I'm generous. I'm strong. I'm faithful beginning to repeat these thoughts to myself and these words do generate self-confidence i keep the promises i make to myself i'm a man of my word begin to talk to yourself and think these thoughts when you combine your brain and your body you scratch the self-doubt you lose those four stupid beliefs i am my accomplishments i am my possessions i am what other people say i am or i am what i look like these are completely flawed beliefs we scratch those we scratch them we understand the process of stacking self-confidence in our life.

1:09:46We know we are the content of our character. And lastly, give yourself some credit. Will you please? And I'm going to tell you where to give yourself credit. And that is in the area of your intentions. A lot of my confidence comes from the fact that I keep the promises I make to myself. I know my self-doubt or thoughts that were given to me when I couldn't even defend myself as a young little boy. I know that I'm not my accomplishments. I know I'm not my possessions. I know I'm not what I look like. And I know I'm not what other people say I am. I understand the process of building self-confidence.

1:10:19I scratch the negative thoughts in my life. But I can tell you this, the last place I get my confidence from is my faith and my intentions. See, I know I intend to do good. Not enough of you are giving yourself credit for your inherent goodness. And I mean this. You're special in that regard. You're perfect in that regard. Just ask yourself, what are your intentions? As an individual, as a man or a woman, do you intend to do good in the world? Do you intend to want to help people? Do you intend to be a light in people's lives? Do you intend to make a difference? Do you want to live a good life where you've helped change the world and change other people's lives?

1:10:58Have you ever just asked yourself that? Do you? Because if the answer to that is, you know, I don't spend enough time I'm thinking about how good my intentions are. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to do bad things. I don't want to take advantage of others. I really intend to do good. You know what? You need to give yourself more credit for the power of your intentions. There's a power in life of giving ourselves credit just for the intentions we have. Just ask yourself that. There's two types of people in life. There's the people who intend to do harm, to take advantage of people, to cheat, to cut corners, to cause hurt to others for what they think will be their own game.

1:11:37Then there's people who want to be a light. They want to make a difference. They want to help. They want to contribute. They want to be somebody. They want to honor their God. They want to make a difference in the world. And their intentions are good. Too often in life, people with great intentions don't give themselves credit for how beautiful and wonderful those intentions are. And so today, just take this inventory of all the things that are wonderful about your intentions. And then just take an inventory of your faith as a person of faith. I know that I'm favored I know that God wants me to do good in the world.

1:12:11I know that I was made in his image and likeness There's a power to that. There's a comfort to that. There's a confidence that comes from that kind of a swagger See people aren't smirking at me anymore. I'm smirking at them See, I know i'm not what I look like. I know i'm not my possessions. I know i'm not my accomplishments I'm not what other people say I am. I understand the keys of keeping the promises I make to myself. I understand scratching those limiting beliefs. I know I intend to do good. I don't always do good. I make mistakes all the time. I'm not a deity. I'm not a god. I'm a man. But I intend to do good.

1:12:48And my guess is, so do you. Start to give yourself a little credit just for your intentions. Know you're perfect as you are. And then begin to take these massive action steps. The final piece of the puzzle is this, is that you have to believe you deserve to win. And sometimes it's not just that we think we're good, but that we've done so much, we must be worthy of winning. See, there's this adage in life, good people in life won't take more from the table of life than they think they're worthy of and they deserve. See, in business sometimes, short term, we've all seen this, someone with bad intentions can get ahead short term.

1:13:24But you always reap what you sow, karma is always a real thing. and eventually the people that take shortcuts, that cheat, that hurt other people, that have ill intent, the world, the universe, God sort of finds a way eventually to get them where they're supposed to be. But good people will never take more than they think they're worth, which is why the mandatory requirement for good people to win is they believe they deserve it. They believe they're worth winning. And sometimes it's not just who we are that we need to believe in, but what we've done in this sense, that sometimes you've got to outwork everybody and you've got to be willing to do the things nobody else is willing to do.

1:14:02So you begin to convince yourself, man, I'm doing all the things everybody else is unwilling to do. So I deserve to get the results. Other people aren't going to get, I'm doing the things other people aren't willing to do. I'm paying a price that's so much greater than other people that I'm worth it, that I deserve to get results they don't deserve to get because I've been willing to do the things they've been unwilling to do. So the last piece is often self-confidence can just frankly come from outworking everybody and convincing ourself, man, I've been doing the things nobody else is willing to do.

1:14:36I deserve to get the results nobody else deserves to get. And that's a shift in building self-confidence. There's really not a lot of words to introduce this man. I was thinking about it, driving out here for the interview today. I've been on the earth 50 years and I believe this one human being that I'm going to introduce to you in a minute has positively affected and changed more people's lives in those 50 years than any other human being on the spinning earth. Tony Robbins, welcome to the show again, brother. Thank you, Ed. That introduction for Jesus to walk out here. I want to go right to it.

1:15:06If I'm going to get you on the show, I want to really help as many people I know and serve as many people as you do. And you've gone right to it. We're in this time where there's so much uncertainty externally in people's lives. You know, what's happening on with the pandemic, masks, no masks, all the political discourse, all this stuff, this noise, this uncertainty. And I think there's so much angst and anxiety in our culture right now. So many people listening to this are watching it right now. What would you say to them that are experiencing those emotions right now? What advice would you give them?

1:15:35They got to turn off the news. I know that sounds overly simplistic, but you got to at least turn it off a little bit so you can get a breath. Cause unfortunately today it's hard to turn it off since it follows you. I mean, most people have seen the social dilemma. They understand that literally you are being tracked in every single thing you speak, say, do and everything you're going to see. And it's different if you type in global warming and you're one person, you're going to complete a different set of answers than if you type in global person warming and you're another person. So we're living in a world where it's hard to find truth.

1:16:04And so the first place you got to realize is you can't control out the outside world. You can influence it, but we can control the inside world. And if you get yourself overwhelmed, it's because all this is coming at you. You got to slow it down, stop it and say, now, what am I going to create out of this insanity? Because that's the great thing that happens. I know it sounds, you know, optimistic or, and I think you know me well enough. I'm not one of those positive thinkers. I've never been. I believe in intelligence. I believe in seeing things as they are, but not worse than it is. So you don't try, but then you got to see it better than it is, or you can't make it better.

1:16:35And then you got to go to work and get the right strategies to make it happen. And so for me, it's really slow it down. And everyone needs a compelling future. What do I mean by that? Anybody can deal with a tough today if they have a compelling tomorrow. But what's happened is there are a large number of people that after the first run of 2020, we were coming into January. And I remember that. And people are like, all right, now it's a new world. It's a new life. It's going to go great. And then, you know, all of a sudden more people died in 2021 with vaccines and with all these details that we have.

1:17:06And so people are uncertain. And now we got Omicron and people are making it like the great plague. When if you actually look at the science, the vast majority are showing it's more like a cold or a really gentle flu. But it doesn't matter. We're tracking everything. Now, if you imagine if we were tracking the flu constantly and where it was, we just we don't test everybody so we don't freak out all the time. So what are you going to do to create a compelling future for yourself? What do you really want this year to be about, regardless of what's going on the outside world? You might say, well, it's easy to say, but they're controlling my business or they're shutting me down here.

1:17:35You can move, you know, you can make new choices. I know they're not easy ones, but you got to get to the point where you say, I won't settle for less than I can really do, be, share, create, and give in my life for my family, for myself, for what I want for my life. There's a point we got to say enough is enough. And you got to start to take control. How do you do that? One of the things that you say that I love is fear is physical. And what I learned from you so many years ago that transformed my life is to begin to learn to change my state with my physiology. Yes. Everything in my life starts with my physiology, from my fitness, but also when I'm feeling something I don't want to feel, I try to shift my physiology.

1:18:11And I just heard you recently say this, so I'd like you to speak to it, that fear is also a physical thing. I want you to elaborate a little bit about that. Well, first of all, if you're concerned about COVID, according to CDC, and I have this in my new book, the number one issue besides age, obviously, the number one piece is being overweight or obese. that is number one and just this week cnn new york times for the first time two years later are coming and saying you can reduce your risk if you take care of your body right do you know what number two is according to the cdc fear because when you get fearful it changes your breathing your body temperature your attention in your body all these things can create a trigger of reactions hormones in your body and make you crazy so when i say fear is physical here's what i mean you fear is physical by the way so is courage emotions are physical if you're really scared.

1:18:58Have you ever been at that point where you're like freaked out about something and you can't quite fully swallow or you got that feeling in your gut? Certainly. But courage is also physical. That's what you're talking about. Like it's like I trained myself from a very young age that the number one thing I had to do so I would follow through on the things we're talking about here is I had to have a mind and body that were strong together. That every day I was going to do something to strengthen my body, even if it was just 10 minutes or 15 minutes, something was going to shift me physiologically to do that.

1:19:25And so I, you know, I get scared or I get frustrated and I go on a run, I go on a sprint and I wasn't in shape, didn't matter. I pushed myself beyond what I was comfortable with. I go lift weights and I pushed beyond what I was comfortable with. And when you do that, everything in your nervous system changes because all of a sudden when you face something and you push beyond the comfort zone, you get stronger and stronger. Even a little bit each day changes things. So think about a courage. That's not, you're not afraid because there'd be no need for courage. Courage is you're scared shitless, but you do it anyway.

1:19:54And so training your body, and you and I both do this, right? We train intensely because we know this is the resource through which my mind is going to try to make decisions. And then the second thing is every day you got to feed your brain, your mind, because if you don't, crap is going in there automatically. We all know that, right? I mean, today it's chasing you because we all know the news knows they're not bad people. They're good people. They're just doing their job. Their job is make sure they make as much money for their shareholders. And they know one formula works. And it's pretty obvious these last two years more than ever.

1:20:25If it bleeds, it leads. If it produces fear, more people watch. It's because we all have a 2 million-year-old brain that's always looking for what's wrong, what's going to hurt us. But your 2 million-year-old brain is not going to make you happy, right? You have to take control of that 2 million-year-old brain and start to direct consciously what you want your life to be. So changing your body radically by a workout, by a run, by a push, by whatever you're going to do, shifting by feeding your brain every single day. And then making sure every day you're taking some form of action towards a compelling future.

1:20:56Like, what am I going to make better? If you have nothing to look forward to, you're going to be pissed off. You're going to be frustrated. You're going to be depressed. You're going to be overwhelmed. And in those emotional states, even though you're a smart person and you know lots of things, you won't use anything, you know, to me, the leverage to changing somebody's life is always starting with the human body. If I started to speak to you and I spoke more at this tempo and I said, yeah, I really think people should get their act together and make this their best year ever. I feel terrible in my body.

1:21:33Now, I'm not saying everybody needs to talk fast or loud like me. That's my own physiology, but it's kind of trained. But everyone has different gears. and when you're low gears, like you can be in a great relationship, somebody you totally love, and you're both in a great physical state, emotional state, everything's great. You both get a little love from taking the kids to 20 soccer practices and cashflow problems in the business and all that stuff. And all of a sudden, same love doesn't feel like the same love. You still love each other, but it doesn't come across. Maybe you're both stressed out, then it creates problems in the relationship.

1:22:04So the most important factor in your life is the ability to manage your mental, emotional state is the one thing you have complete control of once you learn how. Then it becomes just the daily discipline. And after it's not even discipline, it just becomes habit to say, I'm not going to live in this lousy pace. I'm not going to put up with it. I know what to do. Let me do it. Let me move forward. But that's why, you know, I do programs and events where I immerse people. Yeah. Because, you know, you and I can talk about this to you and it's kind of nod your head. But if I put you in an experience, correct.

1:22:31I always tell people a A belief is a poor substitute for an experience. You can have a belief about China. I take you to China. You're going to have an experience. It's very different. So I think human beings need to put themselves more in experiences. A lot of us today, especially with COVID, being stuck at home and doing business from home, a lot of people are stuck in their head. I tell me, get in your head, you're dead. You're just going in circles. You got to get that body and that energy moving. And then your head will start to work as well. Okay. So you've all been listening now for, say, 10 minutes.

1:22:59There's two things already. Number one, do you have this compelling future? If someone asked you right now, what's that vision for your future? Second thing is, what are you doing in your body to create a change, to anchor things, to change your state? The third thing was Tony talked about his events. And I just, I want to get this out on the table right away. One of the most incredible things is you've done events for literally millions of people from every continent, every country on the planet. And I mean what I said, I'm not saying that because we're friends. I just, I think you've positively affected more lives than any person that I'm aware of.

1:23:26It's just true. and I the fact that you now are offering a free event it's just bananas to me I mean it's it's incredible to me so I think it starts on January 25th but I want people to know about this because this could be that catalyst to help you know create that compelling future and maybe transcend your environment so tell us just a little bit about that event I'll tell you why I did it I did it you know after 2020 about halfway through the year people were just so depressed you saw people gaining weight people had no clear idea what they're going to do so I said okay I'm going to do an event for the whole world.

1:23:57Let's just, let's use YouTube. Let's use all the different tools that we can. Let's bring them all together. And we had 400 ,000 people. And I was like, let me do one for three hours, but I'm not really capable of that. So I was like, we'll do two days, two days for 90 minutes. And then I made it five days. And the reason I do that is not because I like to talk. It's because you need a certain amount of immersion. It's like learning a language. If you only learn a little bit at a time, you don't remember it two years later. But if I put you in Rome day and night for a month, you're going to come out speaking Italian.

1:24:26So that's my theory. So what I did was I did five days. We had 400 ,000 people join us and every day we took a part of their body, their emotions, their relationships. And the goal is get them a new perspective because it's hard to do that when you're at home, but not when you're in this audience, literally of almost half a million people. Last year we did it again. We had 860 ,000 people that joined me for five days. So I'm doing one final one because I'm praying this is the last of COVID, but I really want to help people here at the beginning of the year because you see so many people now are caught up in what I call learned helplessness.

1:24:56When you've been disappointed, oh, you got a gut check, but most people pick themselves back up. But if you get disappointed enough times, there's a point when your brain goes, the problem's permanent. It's just, or it's pervasive because I can't turn my business around. My whole life is over, which is not true or it's personal or something wrong with me. And so I want to break those patterns and give people a direct experience. My guest today, He's been a friend of mine for almost 30 years. I was thinking about it as I was prepping for this. I've known him for 30 years. Holy cow. So, Tony Robbins, welcome back to the show, brother.

1:25:27Ed, good to see you, man. You said something earlier about, you know, with the Russell 2000, 40 % are not doing anything. They're losing money, and we're sort of hoping. That hope is not a strategy. It's something I learned from you many, many years ago regarding life as well. I think more than ever, Tony, people feel a sense of what, because you and I are in the same world. We coach some of the same people. We have the same sorts of people come to our events more than ever. I feel like people feel like they can't get control over their lives. And that's why the financial piece is so important.

1:26:01And I'm wondering what your thoughts are if you were to give somebody counsel first coming to this event, but where would they begin? And obviously, I know you talk a lot about mind and body. You talk about having role models that are important. But I kind of turn the floor over to you. Someone's listening. They're like, hey, man, you know, I want to get control of my life. The money part? Awesome. What about my life? What about my emotions? What about my family? What would you say to them? I think the first thing you got to do is you got to create a compelling future. What I mean by that is anybody can deal with difficult today if they have a compelling tomorrow.

1:26:31Right now, there's so much fear in the world that people are afraid. I hear millennials talking about they don't want to have kids because they want to bring them this world. That's such a terrible world. There's so much violence. There's less violence today in the world, even though we have this horrible war that's going on. Two of them now. There's more than two, but the two that most people are familiar with, with obviously what's happening over there in Russia and Ukraine and also what's happening in Israel and Gaza. But we have less of that than we've ever had, even in the middle of this.

1:26:58But the fear is bigger. The promotion of it, the watching about it, the arguing about it, All that is enhanced by the way that we live today and the fears that are today. So what I tell people is you need to create a compelling future. You need to understand whether you're on the path or not. I mean, think about the hero's journey just for a second. What is the hero's journey? You're living your life over and over and it's boring. You can pick any great story of humanity, all the same stories. They're all the hero's story at some level. And then something disrupts it. Something creates a challenge.

1:27:27It's the call to become more. It's the call to go on adventure. You might have lost your job. You may have lost money. You may have been told you got cancer. You might have gone through a divorce. You know, there's a, that's, we look at it as it's horrific experience, but I've experienced, I know you have as well, multiple experiences. Someone telling me, you know, I've buried, you know, three fathers and a mother of, you know, I've been in a place where they said, Hey, you got a tumor in your brain. You're not, you may not survive. I've been in those moments that were scary as hell, but they were calls to be able to grow.

1:27:58And then you go on the journey. And as you go on the journey, it's amazing. When you commit to grow, when you commit to figure it out, you get yourself on that path. What's going to happen is you're going to meet mentors. You're going to meet people along the way that'll show up that can help you. And you're going to have to face your dragons. You're going to have to see what is it that is stopping you. So I look at it this way. The first step, if you want to make your relationship better or your business better, your emotion, anything that you value, your finances better. The first step to being on the path, am I on the path or not?

1:28:28Like the first one is, do you know what you really want? As simplistic as that is, most people know what they don't want. And so where focus goes, energy flows. So the first step is like, what do I really want? Why do I want it? Because the why is even more important than what it's like new year's, right? People set their goals or their new year's resolutions. And by February they're gone, right? They're already broken them because they just were expressing what they wanted, not why they want it. They didn't get enough reasons to push themselves through. And it's difficult. And they didn't have a good plan.

1:28:57So the first thing is, what do I want? Why do I want it? Who do I got to become to make that happen? And you get crystal clear. Now you're on the path. What's the second step of the path? Now you got to be honest. You got to get to the truth and tell yourself the truth about the gap. Because all of us have a gap between where we are and where we want to be. If you want to close that gap quickly, the only way to do it is to be honest. The truth sets you free. So you get clear. Where am I really compared to where I want to be and why? What's prevented me in the past from losing that weight, from making that money, from having a relationship last, from growing that business?

1:29:33And there's only a few things that prevent you. It's fear. And there's all kinds of fears, but fear. It's limiting beliefs. Well, I've never done it before. I don't know what to do. I'm not that kind of person. I don't know numbers. All my relationships end up. All the good ones are gone. Whatever the belief is, there's a limiting belief. There's a fear. Or there's some other primer emotion in the way. Or it's a habit. Or the fifth one is you're missing a skill. Like learning to invest is a skill. If you don't take the time to learn it, you're going to be in pain, right? Because you're going to always be trying to earn it.

1:30:05And most people think, well, I'll make so much money that I'll never have to worry about when I hit the big thing. Well, the people that make the big thing, the athletes, the entertainers, usually are broke 20 years later. You've seen it over and over and over again because they made the big dollars. They have the big overhead, but they never learned how to make money while they sleep. They never learned to be an owner, right? Or an investor. They just made income and no income is enough. Mike Tyson's a friend of mine. Mike made a billion dollars over his career, just short of a billion dollars and lost it all.

1:30:37You know, I can give you 50 cent, 50 cent, made all this money. He bought Mike's house and then he went broke. Give you an idea. You know, Elton John overspent and lost all the money he had. Unfortunately, he made it back eventually to make that happen. I mean, that is not the solution that you need. So if you really want to transform, you get on the path, figure out what's missing. Then what do you do? Now you come up with a quick plan. Not a perfect plan, but a quick plan to attack it with massive action. And then what do you do? Now you've got to face your dragons. You've got to make the changes that are necessary.

1:31:11Then you have some daily practices. There's like seven steps to this. You measure and you celebrate and you begin again. So I teach people the exact path. And if you're not on the path, it's scary. If you're not on the path to financial security or freedom, it's scary. If you're not on the path to quality relationship or you're on a path right now that's leading to pain, you better educate yourself. But you got to start with what you want and why you want it. Then you got to see what's wrong with you, not your partner. What's the challenge? What's the habit? What's the emotion? What's the triggers?

1:31:40Got to take a little action plan. You got to make the changes. And this process, the hero's journey is you go on the journey. You become more by facing these challenges. You learn and you grow. And then you bring that back home and you experience, you know, the rewards of being the hero in your own life. And that's in essence what people need to be able to do. And it's not that hard because there's patterns. There's certain patterns that work. I don't care what the color of your skin is, how old you are or young you are. I don't care what your nationality is. I don't care what gender you are or your sexual preference.

1:32:12These are the laws of life. If you understand the laws, you align with them, you do well. So one of the reasons we do this three-day process is in three days for just two and a half, three hours a day, people are able to get clear what they want exactly in each of these areas. They get clear what's gotten in the way. They come up with their plan. They start to face their demons and they move the ball forward. And that's how you get the kind of results that we've seen people get that are just mind boggling. You know, people that just came and spent three days with us. And if they want to go deeper, they can go to some other event.

1:32:42But we don't hold it back. It's not partially free. It's totally free. and I encourage people not only come and do this because it's January 25th through the 27th it's right around the time your news and resolutions you had them are probably going out the window and you can do it with your friends or you can do it with your family together you can do it from home you don't have to travel you don't have any expense or you go to the office and do it with a group of your friends at the office type of thing but I promise you a big experience you won't forget so you just you know if you get yourself in immersion that's how it changes the problem is people try to a little bit at a time it's like trying to learn a language a little bit at a time And people that learn language in high school and college usually don't speak it 10 years later.

1:33:17But if I dumped you in Italy with no teacher and said, I'm picking you up in 90 days, because you're seeing it, breathing it, being around all day long, in immersion, you learn the language. This is the Ed Myron Show.