Why Losing Sight of What Matters Steals Your Drive—and How to Reclaim It Feat. Brendon Burchard

24:43Yeah, when your spirit is really alive in you, because you're doing prayer, you're having that moment of faith, and when that's there, you do have a different level of confidence in life. You really do, because you can trust yourself and you can trust something beyond yourself. Now you got the double edged sword, right? Trust in self, I was congruent. Trust in faith, something bigger has got me. Now you have a two-sided trust. You're stronger and people feel that from you. They're like, oh, he seems solid he seems solid and what I want people to have is that solidity in their week where there's a strength there's a centeredness, there's a groundedness because performance edge we always think it's like super high but it's not about this hype it's more about being grounded being strong and I also want to share for those who maybe you're listening to podcasts I'd love for you to go to YouTube and watch the riff Ed just did because I'm going to give you one more tip on this performance edge, getting it back.

25:51People who are able to maintain their drive over a period of time, they do what Ed just did. It's called leadership communication. They speak like leaders. They step in and embody a role model mindset. They are like, oh, I'm aware people have influence. I'm aware that I have the ability to influence energy. So Ed just took the whole thing and ramped it up. Well, guess what? The rest of the day, because he had leadership communication coming out of his mouth, he'll literally be more expressive, more driven, more focused. And I tell people all this time, I'm like, hey, you know why you lost the drive?

26:36You're too quiet. You lost the drive to you're our expression, our voice gives us superpower. We're human beings with human stories. When we actually start sharing and when we understand we can impact people because who's the most driven people you ever met? They're always leaders. They love the role of being a leader. They love the role of having purposeful influence with other people. And when you lead, you maintain a different kind of edge because you don't play the victim card. Yeah. You lead. You have a different kind of edge because you have responsibility that you took upon. You're carrying the mantle that you chose to carry.

27:21You're carrying the torch that matters to you. And you realize that you can help other people. You can serve other people. You can enlist other people, enroll other people, build other people. And soon as there's other people in this mix now, As you lead them, as self-expression comes back into your life, like genuine self-expression for a cause, for a mission. I know when someone's lost their edge, they're less evangelical for whatever their cause is. I know evangelism means something specific maybe in the Christian faith, but I'm using it as a sort of a non-denominational, if you will. It's like when you aren't passionately sharing your cause, your mission, your dream, like business owners all the time, I can tell when they lost their edge, they'll sit there at lunch the whole time.

28:11Yeah, I kind of do this. And they're trying to be cool now. They're trying to be like, they're trying to be the cool person. They're trying to be the subtle person. And it's like, no, no, no. You lose the edge of your business if you don't talk about it, if you don't hype it. If you aren't hyping your business, promoting your business, talking about it with fire, no wonder you lost the fire. You got to be a fire-breathing dragon once in a while about something important in your life if you want to be someone who has that drive and maintains it. Expression is power. And if you don't express, then what happens is, guess what?

28:50You tone down. as you tone down, as you placate, as you go silent, your soul goes, I wasn't born to be a silent soul. You were given voice. You were given expression and expression gives you the drive back. Just like you saw, if those who watch it, Ed lift, I mean, he almost jumped right out of that chair and lifts himself up like that. I guarantee the rest of his day is more driven. It's why I tell people, if you read the Bible, read it out loud in the morning. If you have a favorite verse or where you have a favorite poem, where you have a favorite quote from a book, verbalize, express stronger, express more powerful.

29:28That's why when you see a great speaker come off stage, they're like glowing. I mean, they're like, they're driven. Yeah, you're right. By the way, I got everybody. He's so right about this. I, there's this, they're cousins, this idea of selling yourself to dream. Can I just give you all to add to what Brennan was saying? Like, this is going to be very simply put, but I say this to you if like if you and I were riding in the car together right now you listening to this or watching this on YouTube can I just say this to you this is gonna sound basic but no one said this to you in a long time and I believe this to be true you know you get your edge back you gotta want it listen to me really close the people that win they want it more they want it more they're hungrier they're starving to make it done and to Brendan's point the longer you do something you get a little bit fed.

30:17Maybe you're not literally starving. When you started your business, you were literally starving and that gave you an edge. And the more you get well fed and you got a steak once in a while and a nice bottle of wine, it's just as like this slow asphyxiation to where you just don't want it like you once did. So if you want to get your edge back, you got to sell yourself the dream. You're going to start keeping these dadgum promises and you got to want it again. This next year, I promise you, it's going to come down to who wants it the most. And that may sound like rah-rah to you. And it is not.

30:51I'm just telling you, hungry people, man. And you could be, like I said earlier, maybe you're an entrepreneur listening to this. Maybe you're a stay-at-home mom. Maybe you're retired. Maybe you're 15. Maybe you're a teacher. Listen to me. How bad do you want it? And you got to get clear on what it is you want to want it bad enough. And this thing I said earlier about your body, don't discount this. Listen, you make a statement when you walk in a room, if you are physically fit, that says this person should be listened to. This person is disciplined. And when you walk in a room and you're not, that also makes a statement.

31:29Now, let me be very clear. Listen to me as a friend. You don't have to be muscular or fit or jacked. Okay. None of that. I think it wouldn't hurt if you were, but it doesn't matter. Here's what does matter. The people see you're changing. So if you are out of shape right now and over the next 90 days, you're just a little bit more fit. You're a little, you got a little more coloring in your skin. You're a little bit more energized. If people see you changing, making progress, that's infectious. That's magnetic. It doesn't need to be the final product. If you look like a fitness model on a cover, that's not what I'm saying.

32:05What I'm saying is you make a statement with your body. Wow. His body, since I've known Brendan, he's working, he's lifting more weights. He's more fit. Right before we went on, we were talking about back exercises he does for his lower back. Cause my lower back's bothering me. Progress is magnetic. And so actually the fact that you're not in great shape right now could work to your advantage. Cause every time somebody sees you these next 12 months, like, what are you doing? That's incredible. Look at the change you're making. And when you change your body and improve your body, it sends a statement to you that you can change anything.

32:37This stuff matters. When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at goodtoknowfacts.org. No spin, no judgments, Just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients. Visit goodtoknowfacts.org. And correlated to that is this. People that get their edge back make the hard choices and the hard decisions. The difficult ones. See, I say in the power of one more, one of the one mores is you are one decision away from changing your life.

33:29Here's what I know about every one of you listening to this right now. You already know what that decision is. You know the one thing you're not doing you need to be doing that could flip the script right now on your life. Maybe it's your confidence. Maybe it's your belief. Maybe it's getting back connected to your faith. Maybe it's getting in the gym. Maybe it's getting out of a relationship, out of a business you're in that you don't love anymore, out of a job you're in. But you truly know. You have an intuition right now, as I said it, what's the decision? and the people that are blissful and happy make the decision for some of you it's to really listen a lot more closely to things brendan teaches about peace maybe the decision for some of you is i've got to take more time to me i've got to get clear on where my breaks are i've got to get clear on my peace of mind time i've got to get more into my self-care i don't know where on that spectrum of life all of you are, but I know you pretty much know what that decision is.

34:26It's whether or not you'll have the courage because you get clear enough on what you want and you want it bad enough that you will make that one decision. So let me just give you a perfect example of that, which is my mom. I want to make sure this week on the podcast, I honor my mom. My mom turned 75 years old this month. Wow. My mom has never exercised in her life ever. She raised a family, She became a grandma and it just wasn't part of my mom's in life ever. And she's had lots of different health issues. I won't get into all of them, but one of them's really problems with her back and mobility.

35:01And, and, um, we've just been kind of concerned about mom's health the last few years, especially since dad died. And anyway, we challenged mom to start exercising. So she got a treadmill that was my dad's and she put it upstairs in my dad's old office. And my mom started walking on the treadmill. And I asked her the other day, I said, mom, well, how much could you walk? the first thing she goes, let's just at an incline of one. It's no big deal. It's, you know, I go, mom, come on, what are you doing? She goes, well, I walked for 12 minutes and I knew this because my sisters had told me. And I said, well, what are you doing now?

35:32She goes, because my sister said she's up to 37 minutes now. And she goes, well, I was up to 37 minutes and, you know, and then I thought the other day, one more, just do one more. Like my son says. So I went one more minute, which turned into one more. And then another one. And I did 40 minutes this morning. I said, Mom, that's crazy. You're walking. I can't do 40 minutes. That's great. She goes, it's just one on the incline, Eddie. I said, Mom, you went from 12 minutes to 17 to 40 minutes and 90 days. Isn't that amazing? And she goes, well, guess what else? That was after I went walking at the park with Andrea, your sister, this morning.

36:06So I walked at the park for half an hour, and then I came home, and I thought, you know what? I'm going to do a little bit more. And she did it. And I have to tell you guys something. that inspires me way more than someone who's already in perfect shape at the gym it's the progress this precious beautiful soul at 75 years old and i just picture and she doesn't want to get up on that treadmill every morning she tells me i never want to do it eddie and i said mom it's so damn inspiring that you're doing oh stop it you can lift that many i said mom i promise you if i tell somebody on the podcast about this there are people not working out they're gonna and even if they are.

36:42They're going to go to the new level. She goes, please don't embarrass me. Well, mom, I'm embarrassing you today. It's awesome. And I'm going to tell you guys that inspires people. It's not perfect people. It's progress that you make that will inspire others. So mom, proud of you. Mom, my lab. Yes. I love it. And in your case, what were we just talking about before we got on about you and I were literally vision casting what our ideal looked like life look like this next year and at 66 years old was our literal personal conversation before. Was it not, brother? Yeah. I've always found that people with edge, they want to talk about the future.

37:19They want to know, how are you changing? What are you going to make happen? How's it going to be different for you? What's the best life? People who are driven, they're after that. They want to experience high performance in their life, but they want to experience the best life along with it. And so they're optimizing every little thing to make their back feel better. They're optimizing every little thing. Like, how can I do this thing I love doing more? Ed and I were talking about me writing and how much I love writing. I want to do more writing. So I've got to optimize my life so I get to do that more often.

37:53Ed loves to golf. He wants to optimize his life to do a little more golf. Part of drive is knowing what you want to optimize to live a certain kind of life. Listen, you can be a grounded, soft-spoken, caring, loving Buddha and still have extraordinary power and edge. The Buddha did not lack edge. And that's what's important, that magnetism, that ability to believe in something, to espouse it, to enlist other people brings you to life. But I'm going to come back and illustrate a little bit what Ed said, which I think is so important. You have to want it. You have to have that hunger. And let me give you what that means for most people who I've met who are driven.

38:40I can always tell. Psychologically, they're usually after three things. They might not even know it when I start working with them. Number one, when you think about people who have a lot of edge and performance drive, they want to see themselves in the future as super capable. It's the stuff that we talk about, like self-mastery, but it's also the stuff we talk about in your and I work, Ed, about competition. Do you know why you want competition? Do you know why you want to take that challenge? Because you want to see yourself as capable. Maybe you weren't capable before, but developing capability gives you that confidence.

39:23Developing capability makes you able to handle things. Developing capability makes you sense that you respect yourself. If you work with a fighter, you can see the ones who want to get capable. They want to master the game. That gives them edge. They want high capability. The desire for high capability makes you hungry. The second thing is they want to be admired. A lot of people with real performance drive, where it's not just for no reason, they want to be respected members of community. They want to win the award. They want the status. And people don't like the word status, but I'm like, a lot of people do a lot of things for status.

40:07But what they really want is to be admired. They want to be respected by other people. They want to respect themselves for their capability, but they want to be respected by other people by being seen as a leader, a role model. And that's important. And the third thing they have is a psychological drive to see themselves in the future with more freedom. A lot of people are driven to have more abundance, more financial wealth, more freedom of time, more freedom from the bad job, freedom from the bad people. They want a greater sense of lifestyle freedom says, you know what? I can do whatever the hell I want.

40:42So I'm going to build my life so I can do whatever the hell I want. And those three things, Ed, I've seen bring people right back to life. I go, oh, you're not trying to build anything in terms of capability. No wonder you don't have hunger. Oh, you don't see yourselves being admired and respected, achieving something great in your community or being a leader. No wonder you're not engaging. and no wonder you don't have this drive each day because you're not trying to have more freedom for yourself or your family you're just going through the motions you're just kind of surviving but if we can get capability and admiration and freedom back in the conversation now people go hey i feel different i'm ready to go i'm just thinking about myself at 22 all the way to 53 right now as we record this those are still the three for me they're still the three and i have to tell you, I can tell you that being admired is awesome and you need to go get a bunch of that.

41:35So you know that that doesn't fulfill you all the way, everybody, but it is something that everybody wants. But I can tell you the one that is underrated, which is freedom, freedom in life to make the choices you want to someday be in a place in your life where you call the shots, where the world doesn't have their thumb on you or your family anymore is, it makes me emotional to the standpoint of, I just wish so many people knew how good that feels to wake up free because so many people live in free countries, but they're not free. They're not free financially, but they're also not free emotionally because they just have not given themselves the gift of real grace and real love of themselves and real belief in themselves.

42:14And so they live in a bondage and a prison in their own minds that they've created. And you can escape that prison anytime time you want, you guys, we're giving you the key. Just unlock it. Just walk out right now. You can walk out of that bondage of your mind of not believing in yourself or being down on yourself or not having a dream again in your life. You know, not having that thing inside of you that gives you that fire that Brendan started out with, that want to, that hunger. You can just, you can literally just take the key and open the prison gate right now and walk right out of that door into a whole new life.

42:47And that's not rhetoric. It starts in your mind. It actually starts in your spirit. And then it moves very quickly to your mind. And I will tell you that in your life, I think the devil, the adversary, the negative vibrational frequency of life is usually in the mind and the highest vibrational frequency, God, Jesus, in my case, is in the heart. If you listen to your heart and just get a little bit quiet and you'll begin to have that heart whisper to you that you're born to do something great with your life. You're born to do something awesome. And it is not too late for you. Your mistakes, your past setbacks do not disqualify you.

43:22You're immensely qualified. And I'm going to tell you the last thing. I'll give you a key on my end and then I'll let Brendan wrap things up. I think that, you know, a lot of people want to be inspirational or motivational to other people. And you said something earlier, it really starts with being an aspirational person. If you want to motivate and inspire others, you have to be somebody other people would aspire to be like. And people admire are people who keep the promises they make to themselves. People admire people who change and grow. I don't admire. What do you admire more? Somebody you see in the gym that's six foot three, 220 pounds, Brennan, just ripped and jacked.

43:59That's admirable, right? That is. You go, I put a lot of debt. I admire that. There's a level of admiration for that. Yeah. But what if you saw somebody that was at the gym three years ago that was 280 pounds, and then you saw them six months later and they're 260 and they maybe left for a while you come back and they're 240 and 230 and they just look happier and move more fluidly and aren't as sore and as what's more admirable i'll vote i'll tell you right now i think the more admirable person is the person who's changed the most and so it's about change that aspire if you want to as people need to aspire.

44:37You need to be the example. You need to be the example in whatever that area is. It's, I think it's most admirable what you're overcoming. You could be so inspirational. The most eloquent speakers, the most, it's what do they overcome? That's what inspires people because they see themselves in you. Most people don't see themselves in the perfect speaker or the, or Elon Musk worth 360 billion. They don't see themselves in, but they can see themselves in you And the way you inspire and motivate them is being someone they aspire, aspire to be like by changing and growing and improving. That's what motivation is.

45:16It's being someone that people aspire to. And here's how you do it. My last key for today. You got to do hard things. You got to choose to do difficult things. Hard things. And one of the things I've tried to do with my children is like I don't coddle them. I don't try to protect them. I want them to learn to do difficult things in life because I think that's really what creates change is facing resistance and pushing through it and getting to the other side. And every time you push through some resistance, you get to the other side. You begin to build a reputation with yourself that you can get to the other side.

45:54That's how you build muscle. It's with resistance. It's not lifting nothing. It's doing something where you face resistance and choosing to do the hard thing, the difficult thing that the average and ordinary will not choose to do. And when those opportunities and their opportunities present themselves to you, dig deep because you want it more. You want it more than you're afraid. You love your family to create that change more than you're afraid of doing that thing. And when the love you have for your family, the love you have for other people, the love you have for God, the love you have for yourself is greater than your fear.

46:31You'll push through and do the difficult thing. That would be my last piece on getting your performance edge or getting it back. What would yours be? I love it. That is the quintessential description of taking on challenge because it causes you to rise, causes you to change, causes you to get better, causes you to push. It's like that willingness to take on challenge. It might be a different reason for everybody, but that willingness to take on challenge and to push and to dig deep, that's everything. And now the most important thing, and we kind of save it for last, is, you know, I teach this for desire framework about that what we all really want is aliveness, deeper connection or relationship, meaningful pursuit and growth.

47:17And the people I've always met who have the most drive, that part about meaningful pursuit is so important for them. If you don't have the drive, you haven't found your meaningful pursuit. There's nothing wrong with you. Your brain isn't broken. You don't need to blame everything from childhood and everything else. There's nothing wrong with you. You're in the right place at the right time on this earth. Trust in that. Right now, if you want to be more driven and find yourself moving in the right direction, you have to choose what that direction is. Meaningful pursuit. Lots of people are busy, but they're not in pursuit of something that brings them alive, that they sense is fulfilling or meaningful.

48:02So this is where the language of mission comes in. People with drive, drive, they're on a mission for something. They're in pursuit. They're not in thinking about it. They're in active pursuit. Lots of people who lost their drive. I go, you lost your drive because you're not driving. You're not even in the car. You don't even have the destination. You have a fancy car sitting out front. You're in front of Netflix at home. That's why you feel bad. You got to pick a destination, get in the car and be in pursuit. And this is what's really important. The chase brings people back to life. When we say hunger, what we're really saying is, oh, human beings, we are goal-driven animals.

48:45We want to be in the chase. And when we get back in the chase of something that matters to us, a meaningful pursuit, sometimes that meaningful pursuit is earning more for your family. Sometimes that meaningful pursuit is getting command of your body and getting healthier with some self-discipline related to your health. Sometimes that meaningful pursuit is building that particular business, that particular competency. Sometimes that meaningful pursuit is going for the title belt, going for the award, going for the gold. But if you don't have the meaningful pursuit, I just want to let you know there's nothing wrong with you.

49:21You have to discern what that is and get back in pursuit, even if you don't know every step, even if you don't know if it's the perfect thing, even if you don't know if that's my life's purpose? What is meaningful and fulfilling for you to chase right now, to pursue right now? Your mission, you might not know your 50-year mission. You might just know, hey, in 2025, my mission is to make my life outstanding. My mission is to improve. In 2025, my mission is to do better for my family or to earn two times more or to start this thing or to stop this thing. But if you don't have the meaningful pursuit, don't be shocked that you keep getting in your psychology and sort of spin cycle of negativity or spin cycle of discouragement.

50:06The spin cycle will always happen until you pick something outside the spin and you see what is meaningful for you. So find that meaningful pursuit, challenge yourself, push to pursue towards it. And all of a sudden you start feeling alive again, but you also this time get to feel fulfilled. Also get to feel love. Also get to feel joyous because you chose a pursuit for you that's meaningful for you, for your life, your family, your mission. Find that meaningful pursuit. You will come back alive, champion. So good, brother. Oh, my gosh. Told you guys, once a month, just the planet vibrates a little bit differently when the two of us get together.

50:49remember this guys ultra.vip come spend a couple days with brendan and i at the end of january 2025 it's going to be awesome go there brendan thank you so much for today brother i love you really incredible you inspire me every single time now i'm fired up the rest of the day baby so thank you max out this is the ed mylin show