Why New Experiences Make Life Feel Longer

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1:06This is the Ed Myerich Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So I'm so grateful that you're here today. And you know what? Speaking of today, days, time, et cetera, didn't it seem like time passed much more slowly when you were a little boy or a little girl? your childhood summers didn't they seem to last longer than the ones do now don't they just didn't summer just seem to fly by yet when we were kids they seemed to just last forever the endless summer and I've always wondered why that is and I also by the way love when I read neuroscience that validates the work that I teach it's applicable work that I teach but when science kind of validates it and one of the things I've been so big on now for about a decade is imploring so many of you to try new things, have new experiences.

1:57And now I really know from a scientific standpoint that I'm right about that. And so time really did go slower when you were a child, by the way, and time really is passing you by and going much more fast now. And science can validate that. So first, I want to thank someone who listens to the show named Melissa Bell, who sent me this article and said, I think you should talk about this since you already talk about doing these things, but now there's scientific work. So there's a great article out that I'm going to, you know, want to give credit to in today's show from Inc Magazine. And it talks about, the title says, want to feel you're living longer, a fuller life.

2:34Neuroscience says making denser memories is the best way to slow the passage of time. Jeff Hayden wrote this article, by the way. And we're going to talk about today, your life and time. And if things feel like they're just passing faster than they used to. It's because it truly is, at least in the way you experience it. You know, our life is the way that we experience it. It's our version of our life. It's our filter of our lives. It's our reality is our life. Two people can experience the exact same things and have a different reality and they have a different life as a result of that. And so it actually turns out scientifically that your summers inside of you, in your mind, in your spirit, in your emotions did pass more slowly.

3:15And that's because of something called dense memories. Neuroscience is now proving that the more you build dense memories, the more the perception and passage of time slows down. And so I want to talk about it with you today and then give you some suggestions as to what to do. You know, there's a, he talks about this too in his article, but there's this dock outside. I'm now blessed that I live on this Island that I was able to get a few years ago. and this is my first summer here. First time I've ever spent a summer here. And I have to tell you, it feels like the longest summer I've had in 30 years.

3:48And I've figured out that the reason for that is everything's new. The location's new, kind of being on an island is new, being in the part of the country that I now live in is newer. I'm having all these new experiences, discovering new parts of the place, new experiences, new hobbies that I've created since I've been here. To be honest with you, it feels like the longest summer I've had that I can ever remember. And now I know why, because my mind is creating all of these new dense memories as opposed to thin familiar ones. There's actually a dock. He talks about this in the article, which is just crazy to me, but there's a dock when you get off of the boat to come to where I live now.

4:26And I remember the first time I pulled up to that dock, the walk seemed forever to get to the land. And I now know that the reason is, is my mind was creating all these new perceptions and memories and experiences because I could see the ocean to the left and the rocks over there and how high the tide was and a bird flew by and I could see a pasture out in the background. And I was taking in all this new information because I'd never been here before. And as a consequence, my perception of time slowed down. And now when I get off that dock, it's like a 10 second walk and I'm on the land. Why? I've done it 500 times now.

5:03And so none of it's new. Everything's familiar. And our brains, the way they work, they're always trying to conserve energy. We're always trying to move towards what's familiar, right? So because now my brain's like, I've seen that, I've seen that, I've seen that. This is common. I understand what that is. It's got nothing to lay down a dense memory of. It's all very thin. And so the passage of time is very quickly. It's the same reason why when you're on a treadmill and 10 minutes seems like nine hours, doesn't it? It's because you've done the treadmill before. There's going to be no new experience.

5:31You know exactly what it's going to feel like. You know exactly how you're going to be breathing and sweating by that time. So your mind, it just seems like it's going to take forever, yet it goes like this. Our perception of time is somewhat perverted by the experiences we have or not have ever had before. And so all of this article is very familiar to me. So I'm going to share something with you, some of the stuff from it that I just loved. So there's a new article in Scientific Reports. There's new research in there. and it says how you perceive the passage of time is related to the amount of new perceptual information you're absorbing at any given time.

6:05So when you're young, everything seemed new in those summers, new experiences, new hobbies, new friends, new things you see, all these new experiences. And so it changes your perception of time. There's a study. And by the way, time feels longer, not shorter. When something is familiar to us, our brain can process this. It's even like when you meet someone. As you get older and older, you have less dense memories because you have more information already. So that's why if you're an entrepreneur, oftentimes you can get very bored with your business after a while because there's nothing new to it.

6:38You haven't created anything new. There's no new way in which you do business. Innovation in business is not just so that you stay competitive, but it's also so you stay fresh, so you stay interested, so that you enjoy it like you did as a child in the summertime. It says in the article, it's great. Think about the first sale you ever made in your life if you're in sales. You can remember it like it's yesterday, right? The memories, the details of it. But your 500th sale, it's just a blur, right? And that's why when we meet people, even times, like when we were a child, we'd meet people and would take forever.

7:08Now you meet someone. I've met that type of person before. I've met someone with that career before. I've met a guy from that area before. I've met a lady with that background before. I know somebody with that name already. And these memories are much more thin. Your first date compared to your 80th date. The memories are just very different. The perception of time is different. Our emotional experience is different. So what am I really saying so far? So far, it looks like scientifically, if you have a very familiar life, it's going to go by very quickly. And if you have any sense in your life that life is passing you by, it's true.

7:40It's true from two standpoints. Number one, time is running out on you. And two, the things you're doing are so familiar, you're not getting any juice, any dopamine, anything out of your life anymore because the more we do something, the less we get the hit. It's why a drug addict, oftentimes, you'll meet people that'll tell you they've been on whatever drug, crystal meth for 10 years, and they're like, I don't even get high anymore. I don't even get high, but I do it out of the habit of doing it because it's who I am. It keeps me familiar with myself. Often in life, if you just keep doing the same thing over and over again, you don't get high anymore.

8:15So that's why it's incumbent upon us to create new things we do, new experiences. And they don't have to cost money. Some of the ones I'm going to list today that I'm doing do cost some money because I've been blessed to have that in my life. But most of the things in life that we really enjoy are simple. You didn't have any money when you were a little kid. You didn't have any resources. What you had was things that were new all of the time. So this new article in Scientific Report says that new perpetual information, the more we absorb, the more we enjoy an experience and the longer it seems to last.

8:45So the more your brain has to process, the more it slows time down. The less your brain has to process, the more it speeds time up and there's just nothing great about it. There's a new article in here that they quote from neuroscience and bio behavioral reviews found that once we reach our 20s, listen to this, the release of dopamine as the result of experiencing new stimuli starts to drop, also causing time to seem like it passes more quickly. So if you want to get back to that part of your life that felt like childhood again, the blissful experiences if you had them when you were a child, you need something they call dense memories, dense memories.

9:26And again, this is something I've talked about for 10 years, but now there's validation of it and I appreciate this article as a result. So, you know, that walk that I had on the dock really is reflective of that. The first time I rode a horse, which was not that long ago, I can vividly remember it and it took forever. Now I get on the horse and I kind of ride it, right? And it's sort of familiar. It's not as dense of a memory in my life. One other thing they say in the article that I think is really fascinating is that it also is why in some cases in life for certain tasks, you can't quite estimate exactly how something's going to take, especially something you've done before.

10:05So like, for example, I, um, the gentleman who helps me with my horses here has been sick for a while. So I've been cleaning all the stalls and, but I've done that a lot. You know, I've cleaned the horse stalls quite a bit, but because I've done it so much, I think it takes me about five minutes. Right. The other night I said, I'll be back for dinner. I went down there and I said, I'll be back in 10 minutes. I figured it would take me five and then I'd get back. The truth of the matter is it takes me about a half an hour to clean out all the stalls for all of the horses that we have here. Because I've done it so much, I don't have a perception of time because it's something that's just a pattern for me.

10:38It's familiar to me. That's why sometimes you underestimate tasks of how long they're going to take if it's something you're familiar with, which I thought was a fascinating thing as well. This is really important, though, if you're starting to get bored with your business or your career. And it's really why if you don't create new ways you do things and innovate, add a new product, a new strategy, a new script, a new way of teaching something, a new way of approaching it, whatever it might be in your business life, you can become very bored. And bored entrepreneurs or bored employees aren't productive and they can actually be dangerous when they get bored because they start to not even do the things they're supposed to do to become successful.

11:16So here's the deal. How do you slow the passage of time? So there's a Stanford neuroscientist named David Eagleman. And he says that we all have the impression, you know, he's talking about these childhood summers lasted forever. But when you're older, the summers go by, like I said, more quickly. And he said, that's because your brain's job. This is so fascinating to me, is to build an internal model of the world. Your brain is locked in silence and darkness inside your skull. And all it's trying to do is understand the structures of the world so it can operate better. Also, truthfully, so it can conserve energy.

11:48Your brain is always trying to conserve energy and not have to work as hard in case it needs to do something else. So when it encounters a surprise, when you encounter a surprise, your brain writes it down and makes a change to your circuitry, literally. But as you go through life, he says, and your brain develops better models of the world, less and less carries much surprise. That's why you lay down fewer memories as you age. You've seen this situation before. You've met that personality before. You've done that job before. The memories you lay down are much thinner. they're more impoverished.

12:20But in contrast, when you're in your childhood, everything's new. And so the richness of your memories gives you the impression of increased duration.

12:31Okay, so what's the key then? Here's the key. And you're not going to like this if you're just a habit person. See, remember this as we step back. Human beings are compositions of habits, patterns, and behaviors. And they go through them over and over. They have habitual thoughts, habitual ways they drive to work, habitual conversations. They've got a group of friends that are the same. They watch the same types of TV programs. They get the same political stuff in their feed. And so they continue to do these same things. And it's an odd analogy as someone who's a child of an alcoholic drug addict, but they get less high off of life.

13:09And your composition of patterns, if you want to have a longer life, and I mean this literally, I think you'd probably be happier and physically live longer. but if you want to at least have the perception of a richer life, you've got to get out of the familiar. This is not just proven in my own world experience with all the people I've coached and after 53 years on earth, but now neuroscience is telling you your internal world, your internal experience is flying by. You're getting less dopamine because it's so pattern-based. Getting humans to change is difficult. Here's what people will say when I say this to them.

13:44They go, yeah, but I know what I like. I like this particular steak, Rick. You know, I like to do this particular habit or hobby, right? I like these particular types of people. I know what I like. I'm established in my ways. And you know what? I'm pretty happy. Yeah, but things are flying by. They're flying by. And you're running out of time. I had a friend of mine just the other day, and everyone knows I've had some health issues, you know, some frankly significant. And he goes, bro, you know, you're going to have between five and 30 summers left. and it stopped me in my tracks. Five and 30 summers.

14:21I'm 53. So if I were blessed, I'd get 30 more great summers. And I know I've had anti-aging people on my show. I know that. Say you lived to 125. Maybe I will. Maybe you will. But healthy, you know what I mean? And maybe I will. Maybe science will change where I can live to 125. I don't know. But I actually have already had some significant health scares. Five and 30 summers left. Well, I want those to last as long as they can. How many more conversations am I going to get to have with my mom? How many more are you going to have if they're still here? How many more actual experiences with your friends?

14:58You know, you say, I'm 25 years old. Okay, so you have 50 more summers. That's it. It's finite. And I can tell you that if you don't begin the habit of what we're going to talk about in a second here, you're going to have a whole lot shorter life. in your experience because you're not laying down dense memories. So generally speaking, they say in the article here, do new things, try new things, push yourself to do these new things, try to create more firsts and more different experiences. Have you heard that before? Me on this show for about a decade. Do that. And when you look back, time will seem to have passed more slowly because your memories will be much denser.

15:40That will change your perception of what psychologists call retrospective thinking. Then leverage the power of what psychologists call perspective timing. Generally speaking, perspective timing is looking forward to predicting future outcomes, especially regarding time. This is my go zone. I've been saying this lately. Everything in personal development tells you to be present and to be more present, including me. But I have also said, I believe you have to be able to be focused on the future as well and look forward to a compelling future. Isn't there something cool that if you know you're going to go to a concert on a Saturday night that just helps you get through the work week better?

16:20Isn't it? Or if you knew you had a vacation coming, isn't it just easier to get the grind done? So although we want to be in the present, we also want to have some focus we're looking forward to in the future. And that's why goal setting and dreaming and envisioning your future life and spending time on that is so critical to a rich life. Turns out scientifically, they recommend here, if you're going on vacation in a month, put the date on your calendar, stick a note on the fridge, looking forward will make the intervening days feel like they take longer and make the anticipation a little sweeter.

16:57So it turns out that the anticipation of a future event actually slows down time as well. as a kid, weren't you looking forward to those summers? Remember how upset you were when you had to go back to school when they ended, right? So if you have things to look forward to in your life, turns out that slows down the perception of time because of anticipation. So doing new things, and by the way, don't go on vacation at the same darn place. Well, we love the blah, blah, blah resort. Okay. You've done that one. Now I'm going to be honest with you. I'm so crazy about this topic, I've probably taken it to the extreme in my life.

17:34Like we've moved a lot. We've, we've lived in many different places and about every time we move people, isn't this the best place? And I'm like, yeah, but after a while I've been there and I want to experience something new. So I'm the same way with restaurants. I, there are restaurants I love to go to, but I've been there. Like I get it, but it's not as rich as an experience as it was the first time. I actually, there's a great restaurant here where we live and, and, um, it's my favorite restaurant probably. but I got to be honest with you. I brought people there recently. I'm like, yeah, it was really good.

18:05And I'm like, no, it's the best. But if I actually based it on the experience I just had, truth is it's good. I'm still going off of the first experience. Why? Because it was a dense memory. It was amazing. It was new. It was incredible. You know, I'm right about this, by the way, you know, I'm right about it. So the first time was like, oh my gosh, I've never had food like this in my life, the service. But the truth is the 18th time I've been there, it's really good. but it's not what I remember. But I keep saying it is to everybody I bring there because I'm going off the first dense memory. Does that make sense?

18:41So try new things, go to new places, do new stuff. I'm gonna go through some specific things in a second. And so it says about, you know, having the anticipation of life really matters as well. Eagleman also says doing new things or just doing the simplest things a little differently, like taking a different route to work, rearranging your office, or even just brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand, I think I covered this on about 15 podcasts ago, will make you seem as though you're extending your time a bit because you're forcing your brain off its hamster wheel of doing things a particular way every day.

19:17And so they say this at the end, since time is your most valuable resource, why wouldn't you want to make it seem to last as long as possible? Okay, so how do we do this? Well, I'll tell you, I'm crazy now about creating new experiences and doing new things. And let me be candid with you. That is not my personality. I don't like surprises. At least I think I don't. I don't like to do things I'm not good at. I'm 53. I know I like to golf. I know I like to lift weights. I know I love comedy. I know I love good food, good glass of wine, good cigar. I know what I like. And I kind of know the types of people that I like.

20:00I also know my life feels like it's passing me by. It's flying by. And I have a really good, blessed life. I have the resources to do things that I'm very fortunate to be able to do. And so these decisions I've made the last decade to create change and variety in my life is not easy for me. In fact, if I relate to you, if you're saying, man, I just don't want to, don't need to. I promise you, if you do the things we're about to talk about for a few minutes here, you'll have a richer life. It will seem to last longer and it may even last longer. I do crazy things like brush my teeth with the other hand.

20:45I mean, that's a simple thing, right? But I also have tried a bunch of new things. So, for example, I learned to ride horses the last three or four years. I have a bad back. I had every reason in the world not to do it. I've got a bad back. I have other hobbies that I enjoy. It's an expensive hobby. I'm no good at it. But, man, is it one of the most therapeutic things I've ever done in my life. I find myself on YouTube learning new ways to saddle a horse, bridle a horse, lunge a horse, train a horse. new strategies of how to help feed them, new things about their feet. The amount of things I've learned the last three or four years that I know about horses and riding them and caring for them and having the right people around them and how good they are for my soul and my spirit is incredible.

21:37Does it take time away from other things I like to do? Yeah. But you know what? This has been the longest summer I've had since I was a little boy. and I think those horses are part of it. I think this new place is part of it. I think new books I'm reading. I'll give you something I'm doing now. I've never read a fiction book since I got out of high school. I always read nonfiction. I read business, personal development books. I don't read fiction books. I've always said that's a waste of time. I don't want to read fake stuff, right? I'm reading some fiction books now and it's interesting to me.

22:07I'm fishing. I am not your typical personality type to fish, right? I don't like just sitting there, drinking a beer, throwing a line out. You know, I'm an aggressive dude. I'd rather go hit the weights really hard for an hour, you know, and do something intense or competitive. And I'm certainly not going to be a competitive fisherman, but you know what? I've started to enjoy it a great deal. Time passes very slowly. I've learned a bunch. I'm growing. I'm almost like a kid again, you know, and I take really long walks and that's something I've never done. I always ran all the time. Well, I love walking.

22:44I love being outdoors and experiencing things. And so I've made new friends and not all of them are the same types of people I've always hung around. All of these things are slowing the passage of time. So let me ask you a question. Could you go on a new place on vacation? Could you start a new hobby, learn a new language, switch the coffee shop that you go to? Switch the location you go to. Switch the TV programs that you watch, right? Could you start to listen to something that you've never listened to before? Maybe this is the first time you've listened to personal development. Start to work on that.

23:19Maybe it's something that you want to grow or an area of understanding. I've got a very, very good friend right now who's completely learning to speak Spanish, by the way, on Babbel. No joke, but they're learning to speak Spanish and they're learning something new. Change your routine. My goal is that every year I have two brand new crazy experiences. They don't need to cost money, but two crazy brand new experiences every single year. And I'm forcing myself to do it. Most people have a bucket list. I've got a effort list because I don't want to do most of these things. A bucket list is like, man, I'm dying to go see Paris.