Why Your Environment Dictates Your Future Success | Ed Mylett

23:48Not that having a baby is not a wonderful thing, but there's a season for that. And this ain't it. Do you think this group, so there's two groups with you though. So you got the group that you lead before COVID with the homeless folks, and that's just beautiful work you've done. And that grew to from like a few to like 100 people, I think. Right. So it started with 12. Yeah. Well, not interesting that it started with 12. Yeah. Ironically. Yeah. What an interesting number. But it grew. But I think the other thing for me has been who I'm around as my friendship circle and this power of association.

24:25People don't take it seriously enough. If you really look at the lives of the five people you're around the most, I mean, really look at their, not just their material success, but you know, their, their bliss, their happiness, their peace, right. Their contribution, like really evaluate them. Their emotional maturity is another thing. Like people always want to be around people that accept them. These people accept me as I am. I don't want people. I want to have a few friends. I'm like, Hey, let's pick up before they come over. I want to have a few friends. We're like, we laugh our tails off, but I'm kind of accountable to them too.

24:55Right? Like that to me has been huge. And I have to think for you to have this kind of longevity and not make the big mistakes. There's this other group that I think you meet with on Thursdays or used to that like has been in your life forever. So discuss this because it may not be a Bible study for everybody. Most, some people might not want to read the Bible. Some people may not be people of faith, but having a group, right? So talk about that a little bit. Yeah. It's having a, having a group of guys, you know, and I don't mean the sexist at all but for me it was having a group of guys that you could be accountable to that you could that some guy could look at you and go hey dudes i'm struggling at home right now man i'm you know i've been flirting with this girl at work where somebody else can speak some wisdom and do you go dude be careful because you're going to mess this whole thing up you're not going to have your kids and so yeah there was a group we met for breakfast thursday mornings in a barbecue back of a barbecue restaurant for 18 years.

25:51And so what we did was we did life together. You know, when somebody was having kids, then you're sitting there like praying that night, man, please, please let this kid be safe. Please let the mom be safe. When somebody's mom died, you're there with them. If for no other reason, just I'm here, you know, while you bury your mom, but we were doing life together, going through work struggles together. And I think it's real important in your life. We weren't created to live in isolation. That's what that's been the really weird thing with COVID is is this isolation. I saw a study where they were they were studying people that lived in isolation, but had totally healthy habits.

26:32I mean, like a vegan exercised every day and all the people that lived in community like had that group of friends didn't matter if they smoked drank whatever they lived longer and happier lives than the people that that lived in isolation no matter what their health habits were because we weren't create you need people around you i always said elvis needed somebody around him to go drop the cape and the hat stop stop you're acting like an idiot stop michael jackson needed somebody to go dude don't be taking this stuff to go to sleep stop yes and you need people speaking truth into your life. And, and the people that are telling you what you want to hear, that's not your friends.

27:14Your friends are telling, or the people that are telling you things that you don't necessarily want to hear, you know, to go, Hey, buddy, I love you, but you need to be careful here or you need to watch this. And so you need people that care, that love you enough to speak truth to you. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Jeff. I last question. It's actually, I hope, I hope you remember this story or this analogy. So I've been around faith all my life. Well, not all my life. That's not right. But I've been around faith most of my adult life. And very rarely does somebody say something. At Erwin McManus, who's a pastor on my show, he was a pastor.

27:54He came on my show and he said something I had never heard before that stuck with me, which is that all other faiths are basically about what you need to do to get to God. And he said, what I love about my Christian faith is that my faith is all about what Jesus did to get to me. And it just has always stuck with me. It's that stayed on my heart. There's a second time and it happened yesterday and it came from you. So there's pressure on you to remember this. But you talked about, we've all sinned in our lives, guys. We've all made mistakes. And we carry this stuff with us because we do wanna be better people.

28:30We should try to aspire to be better. We should try to do good in our lives. That's the whole, we were put here to do something great with our lives, but we fail often. And it was the defense attorney analogy. Do you remember that? Please tell me that you remember it because it's beautiful. I do remember that. And to me, that's... It's not going to leave me, Jeff. So would you just share that with everybody in the last couple of minutes here, that whole concept and thought? And so here's the other thing, Ed. So for me, there's a lot of things that happen in organized religion that I'm not a fan of at all.

29:05But I'm really big on faith. And it's this one. The amazing thing about it to me is it's not based on how good we are. Because you say we all make mistakes. Hell, I'm going to make them today. I'm going to make them tomorrow. And no matter how bad in my heart I don't want to do it, I'm going to make them. So it's not based on how good I am. It's how good he is. And so what, and that's what happened at the cross was, was he goes, Hey, I love you enough that there's gotta be justice for all this bad stuff that you've done, but I'm going to pay the price for it. And so being the visual guy, it's like sitting in a court and they're going through your life and going, all right.

29:48And what about the, you know, the time you drove drunk and, you know, had sex with your buddy's sister in the back of your car. and and and it's i just depicted the defense attorneys just being jesus and he stands up holds up that hand with a hole in it goes i already paid for that and what about the time you do this already paid for that you know and that's what is what about that is not attractive to somebody to be loved because that's that's what we all want and as a comic you're always looking, what do we have in common? We all want to be loved. We all want to be heard, but we all want to be significant.

30:29You know, we all, we want to mean something. We all search for significance. And to me, then the story of Jesus is he goes, not only do you mean something to me, you mean everything to me. You, you meant I let him do this and I could have just held up my hand and band of angels was I let them do I let them beat me and I let them nail me to a cross because I love you this much so you don't mean something you mean everything to me and and and and this is not I'm not a preachy guy and if you don't have faith you and I can still be friends and we still hang out we still laugh you know this is just for me this is this is my lane and and it works and and and i and i don't want to sit in judgment of anybody's faith or lack of it that's not my job this i'm just telling you my story yeah i love your story and i'm i could feel it right now my audience wish we were going another hour but you got a busy day and um i enjoyed this i i 10 out of 10 tremendously brother i think you're and i love your heart for other people to want to mentor to, you know, it's, it's like holding, helping somebody else hold their heavy rock, you know, to go here, man, give me that side of it.

31:48I'll help you hold it for a minute. And that's, I think that's awesome that you just got a heart to mentor people that way. Thank you, brother. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. All right. Welcome back, everybody. It's not every day you sit a couple feet away from an icon, from a mogul. And somebody, when you're growing up, that you admired so much from a distance to be able to come up close and meet them and feel their spirit is really an honor for me.

32:23And the man that I'm going to talk with today that I'm going to share to the rest of the world this conversation with is a rapper, record producer, entrepreneur, unbelievably successful entrepreneur. The thing I'm most impressed with him, though, is how he is as a father. It's the thing that stood out the most to me. And so most of you know him as Master P, but his real name is Percy Miller. And I'm so grateful to get to know Percy today. So Percy, welcome to the show. I'm glad to be here, man. It's so good to have you. What about who you surround yourself with? What do you think about that topic?

32:54I really believe that, and I'll say this to you respectfully, I think in a lot of different communities, that message is not communicated strong enough about, because particularly when you grow up in an environment, I would imagine, I can only imagine, where not everything around you is great, right? That it's easy to grab onto groups of people that don't serve you, that aren't doing the right things, that don't think the right things. And even in everyday life, no matter who you are, I think you are who you surround yourself with. I think it's a huge influence on people. It's the truth. Do you believe that?

33:27Yeah, because think about it, right? most people look for followers how many people look for leaders because a follower is going to tell you whatever you want to hear that's right so you all should know right there man leave that alone don't be afraid to cut people off that don't mean you no good I don't care who they are family members friends could have been around because my thing is I like everybody has 24 hours most people want you to be successful until you're successful that's when they hate you Like that's when the jealousy kick in, the self-hate kick in, because nobody wants you to get there before them.

34:03Think about it. I grew up in a project. You think people in a project wanted to see me make it instead of saying, you know what? This this kid made it out here. He one of us. No, man. Well, he ain't all that. Really. So, you know, those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time, that sweater that kind of just goes with everything or these perfect pair of pants. Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy, and that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high-quality wardrobe staples with premium materials, like 100 % Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton.

34:35The styles are timeless, versatile, and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for every day. It's what I'm wearing right now. They give you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted tees and polos, and breathable activewear. Quality basics designed to work with your wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. I love their cotton tees. I'm wearing one now, and I get a ton of compliments when I wear them on the podcast and when I speak. So, find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com slash ed for free shipping, on your order, and 365-day returns.

35:10Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That's quince.com slash ed. So, you know, I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level, and I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. and then I found all-in-one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine finally, once and for all. 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across 9 major organ systems in one drink. You can have all these supplements for$2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great, and I bring energy to the entire day.

35:47Go to im8health.com slash ed10 right now or click the link in the description and use code ed10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets, plus 10 % off your order. That's code ed10 at im8health.com slash ed10. Code ed10 at im8health.com slash ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I was the best person I could be when I was there, and I represented the way I needed to represent it. I was an A student. Were you really? Yeah, I grew up in the hood. I didn't want what everybody else wanted.

36:29Even though I know this is my environment, I was always thinking, I live in a mansion because I know that's where I was going at. While they was thinking, oh, I live in the ghetto, I'm going to die here. I'm like, no, I'm not about to die here. I'm about to make it out here because I already seen it, that I'm supposed to be living in a mansion. so I'm already dreaming big thinking outside the box looking at something no I'm not looking at these bad conditions and thinking oh this for me I'm like no this ain't for me I wasn't supposed to be here I'm here because of my family that came before me but now I need to break this curse and so that's basically people don't realize these curses are generational especially when you come out of poverty the only way you could break it is you have to do it you gotta be the Like, and I've always looked at my grandparents and told them, like, look, I'm going to get us up out of here.

37:18And so that was before. How old were you when you would tell them something like that? Like seven years old. Oh, my gosh. Seven years old. I mean, I used to tell my grandparents, my grandmother said, baby, don't worry about it. We're going to be all right. I said, no, grandma, I'm going to get us up out of here. And I always thought it was basketball. So I worked on my game to get to college. I wasn't even thinking about the NBA, even though I know I wanted to make it to the NBA. But I'm like, look, if I get education, then I'll be able to do something. I'll be able to get some better resources.

37:47And when I got to college, my coach was like, why are you so happy, son? I said, Coach, I've been sleeping on the floor all my life. I never had a bed until I got my own bed when I went to college. But I never was angry and upset. I'm like, that motivated me. Like, I'm going to change this. And so my grandmother had 12 kids. So me and my brother, that's 16 people in the three-bedroom project. But we was happy. We had the best, neatest house in the ghetto. Whenever the mayor or something come, they come look at our house. We had grass. We had flowers in the backyard. We wasn't living like we was in the ghetto.

38:26Our mindset, and that come from my grandfather. So when you look at the military thing with No Limit, with the camouflage, my grandfather always told me because he fought in the Vietnam War, And he said, son, they were supposed to give me$10 ,000 when I come back so I could go put down payment on the house. And they didn't do it. So he said, son, you have to start your own home. You have to get your own business. And that's where my company came from, No Limit. And that's where the whole camouflage came from. My grandfather, the big daddy, Claude Miller. And so that's how I built my brand with the whole camouflage and the No Limit thing, No Limit Soldiers.

39:00That's where it started from. And then my grandfather passed. I was with him. and he died in the VA hospital where they gave him some blood and medicine for another patient. And so my grandmother ended up getting$280 ,000 on a life insurance thing and she gave everybody in the family$10 ,000. I took my$10 ,000 and opened up No Limit Records, the retail store. At 19? At 19. That last couple minutes is one of my favorite minutes of my life. Yeah. Just hearing that. Sorry, that makes it. I'm just picturing you as a 7-year-old little boy. Yeah. Look what you've turned into. Yeah, well, when a lot of people didn't believe.

39:37I'm sure nobody believed. And so, but that's what this is about. Like, you don't have to wait for them to believe. So when I started my record business, and the music side of this, right? So you got Tupac, you got all these great artists, right? So I'm in the radio station trying to get my song played. And I bring my record up. And I'm from the South, but I live in California. I sound country. I got body, body. I'm sound. Like, nobody understand me but me. So Tupac, like, you about to get this play? I said, yeah, man, I'm about to get this play, right? I get up in there, the program director, say, what you have, P?

40:11I say, body, body. He said, what is that? I said, man, that's a hit. He like, man, this don't work here, P. He said, bring me something next week, something better. I'll come back next week. He said, what you have? I said, body, body. He said, didn't I tell you to bring me something else? I said, yes, sir, I'll bring you something next week. Come back the next week. What you have? I said, body, body. come back the next week body body he said man i can't play i said can you just put it on one time and let the people hear and if they don't like it i'll never come back again he said all right just to get you from out of here i'm gonna put it on the people called in and said man i love that record body body and that's how my career blew up and i also was on tour with tupac and uh i'm there with the lights on so don't be afraid to start with humble beginnings that's why I'm so humble now because I started with humble beginnings nobody gave me that I had to work for so I appreciate it and that's the message we got to give to the next generation appreciate every opportunity go create opportunities I'm on stage when the lights on nobody coming to see me they waiting for Tupac you know I see one guy I'm singing my song body body one guy jumping up down or be drunk or what this guy jam and I said I I walk off the stage, 30 ,000 people, and walk to this guy and give him a No Limit T-shirt.

41:34I say, you like that? He say, man, I love it. So my brother's standing next to me. He say, man, why you so happy? I say, I got one. He say, got one? I say, a fan. I say, I'm going to turn that in a million. He say, yeah, right. I turned that. We even sold over 100 million records independently today. And that's how golf works. It's nothing but golf because not stopping, not giving up. People ask me, how bad you want to be successful? As bad as I want to breed. Oh my gosh. I'm sitting here. I have to be honest with you, it's a little bit of an out-of-body experience for me. I'm like, this is Master P telling me that he gave a dude a shirt.

42:08He was happy to get his first fan. The other part of me is like, there's going to be hundreds of millions of people sharing these clips. This is some of the best clips in the history of the planet. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Ed Milet. Jamie. It is such an honor to interview you on your show. This has never been done before. Nope. You in the hot seat. Yeah. We're flipping the script.

42:41And are you ready? I'm ready. I feel like I'm in great hands with my dear friend here. So let's do this. Can you share with everyone this story? I feel like someone needs to hear this today about your first grade teacher. Yeah, Mrs. Smith. Yes. So yeah, I'll even elaborate on it a little bit. So And I was getting picked on. This is what I think happened. Mrs. Smith was just a super, really kind lady. And we had moved to the town that we were in then. And so I was also a new kid. On top of being small, on top of being Eddie Spaghetti, on top of being insecure, on top of leaving many mornings where my dad maybe didn't come home the night before or there was just turmoil the night before.

43:23I'm just leaving that house, this little dude. I wish I could go back and hug him, you know, which my mom did a lot of, by the way. And so she knew that I just had no self-esteem. And I believe she orchestrated this entire thing. But we were doing testing, like, for grades and stuff, for the next grades. And she purposely had, I believe she purposely did this for me. She had someone come in the back of the room and say, Mrs. Smith, we need your smartest student to come take a test to represent the class. And I could see the person in the back. I heard them. And I watched Mrs. Smith go, that's Eddie Mylett.

44:01I would pick Eddie. He's the smart boy. And she picks me. And I remember going, oh my gosh, she thinks I'm the smart boy. And I just looked at her and she smiled at me. And I remember just lighting up. And then the person goes, okay, then Eddie Milet, you need to come with us. And I stood up and it was the first time ever in my life that I was like, I'm special. This is special. And I walked up and went to the back and I took the test and I guess I did well. But when I came back in, I didn't say this the last time I told this. When I came back in, at the end of the day, the class was over and Mrs.

44:45Smith said, Eddie, can you come up here for me? And I came up and she hugged me. And she goes, you're so special and so smart. You're the smartest boy. She just like hugs on me for a minute. And it really changed my life a lot. It changed my life because that was the first time I was like, Maybe they're wrong. Maybe I am smart. Maybe I am special. And this beautiful soul knew exactly what she was doing. She orchestrated all that. She knew there was this child. I think she had this sense something was going on in my home. Because kids don't come like that to school, that shy, that timid, unless something's wrong at the house.

45:37and I'm telling you the truth that I've thought about that like hundreds, maybe thousands of times in my life, that event in my life. What a beautiful, beautiful soul she was. So that's Mrs. Smith. It's one of those people, you know, in your life when you close your eyes and you go, there's this handful of humans that make you feel special, make you feel loved and cared for and believed in. And she's on that highlight reel of like maybe three or four human beings in my entire 51 years. And the reason that that's important is because I've tried really hard in my life to be that person for other people.

46:23That they go, he loves me, he cares about me. He most, maybe even as important, he believes in me. And then you show people how to live a little better. That's exactly what she did. She was a super, super special person. And little did she know that little first grade dude would, you know, be on a show with you today. You know, last night when we were talking on the phone about this idea about how many people don't feel seen. Yeah. And I'm just imagining like the power, right, of her seeing you. First time anyone saw me. I was telling you last night that a lot of my work in my life has been, I don't know why it makes me so emotional, but a lot of my work in my life has been about helping people that perform pretty well perform their best.

47:09And the more and more I've been doing what I do, the more it's occurring to me that that's my role is a little different. And that is that there's millions and millions and millions of people, maybe more than ever in the world that were like the first grader me, but they're 30 years old. They're 35 years old. They're 40 years old. They're 22 years old. And they don't believe they're important. They don't believe they're valuable. They don't know what their role in the world is. They walk in a room and no one knows them. No one acknowledges them. No one sees them. And more and more and more, our culture's making that prevalent.

47:46And then worse, sometimes we're mean to one another or hurtful to one another. And I really feel like the remaining part of my life is to help people know that they are seen, that they are important, that they do matter, that they do have something to give. My sister's here watching this, my baby sister, who's runs all my businesses, but my middle sister is hugely successful as well. She's not on Instagram. She's not wealthy. She's born with diabetes. She's basically blind. She can't drive anymore. But she's changing the world every day. And what she does is she's a school teacher at a Christian school.

48:33She doesn't make any money, any real money. But every day she's using the gifts God gave her, her two or three gifts, which are her kindness, her ability to teach, her gentle nature. She's also really tiny and short, right? So she's the same height as the students. Like she was made for this job and she helps little children feel seen and important. And guess what? She's seen and important. And I want people to know that you do matter. You're not invisible. You count. You were born to do something great with your life in big ways, what people think are big and what people think are small ways.

49:12But I see you. I know you see them. And I just want people to feel like, you know, our community and what I'm going to do with the rest of my life is to let you know that you matter, that you're important, that you're beautiful, that you're special and that you were made. God made you in his image and likeness. He literally made you in his image and likeness to do something beautiful with your life. And you may not have found it yet, but we're going to find it together. All of us together, we're going to find it for you. We're going to find it. We're going to take advantage of your great blessings and gifts that God gave you and he did give them to you.

49:44And we need to, you need to figure out what they are and we'll help you do that. And I hope the book helps with that actually a lot too. The book is so powerful about that. And, you know, I think another powerful thing about your story and you getting to this place where you're able to articulate like your contribution to the world and with such clarity and granularity about how you see people and the impact you want to make, but on your journey, right? Because there's people that probably heard what you just said, like, okay, I believe it, but right now I can barely pay the rent or right now I don't feel seen when I walk in the room.

50:20And what I want to ask you that I think is so beautiful and relatable about your journey is you have had, you have been in a situation in your life where you're, you were driving a car where the panels were Velcroed on. You've had your, your car repossessed. You've had your home, I believe foreclosed on. You had to shower in a public shower. Can you share about that time in your life? And in that time, did you still have this sense, this sense that you had a calling, that you were going to make it, even if you didn't see away at the time? Because I think there's people listening right now that feel like they're in that spot and they think how, okay, okay, I meant to do something great with my life, but like, look at my situation.

51:08You've been there. I've been there. So that, yeah, I've had all that stuff happen. The hard part for me was that, like I said earlier, I had these fears. Maybe a lot of people can relate to this. I wasn't really sure that I could do something great with my life. And then when I started to, I was like, maybe I can. And then when I'd have this setback, I'm like, I knew it. It was a fluke. And the worst though was when the water got turned off. When the water got turned off and we would have to go down to that outdoor shower, we were newly married and take showers every morning there. And I'd hold the towel up and Christiana would brush her teeth and shower outside.

51:42And then she would hold it up for me. And then I'd totally emasculated in the shame. We'd walk up every morning to that apartment and I'm trying to sell the dream and I'm living a nightmare. Right. But I have to tell you that my faith during those times, I did actually have a little bit of a sense that, you know what? I'm going to do something great. And I got really, really, really, really close to not believing that. But my dad had this thing where when he got sober and it's just stuck with me. Thank God. My dad, when he got sober, I said, Dad, are you going to stay sober the rest of your life?

52:21And this is where the power of one more comes in. My dad says, I don't know. I'm not. I can tell you this. I'm going to stay sober for one more day. And so when I went through that, my dad called me. I was really broke. My dad goes, you thinking about quitting? And I go, yeah, I'm close. He goes, just don't quit for one more day. he's so wise. And, um, I didn't. And that not quitting for one more day and holding on would go to the next day and to the next day. But there were these glimpses in my life where it's like, you know what? I may not be the smartest or the best talker. I definitely don't have the highest IQ.

52:56I'm not the tallest dude or the strongest dude or the best looking dude or any of that. But, um, I'm not going to get outworked. I'm going to outwork you. I'm going to do one more rep in the gym. I'm going to do one more phone call. I'm going to do one more email. I'm going to do one more text. And I did have this overriding opinion, which I opened the book up with that, you know what? I am one meeting away from changing my life. I'm one decision away. I'm one relationship away. I'm one new thought. I'm one new client. I'm one away. I never, I never thought it was impossible. And I also really believed, here's the thing that I had an advantage of.

53:32I believed in this one more stuff so strongly that I also didn't think it needed to be 25 years away either. I thought it was like, even for you in your career, you struggled and struggled and struggled and struggled. And then, you know, the QVC moment happens, right? And so there was this one moment, one decision, one meeting, one show. And it wasn't all the one, because there's all the things you led up to that, but it was a catalyst that puts you to a new level. It catapults you to a new level. And so for me, I always was looking for that one. What's the meaning? What's the thought? What's the emotion?

54:04What's the seminar I should go to? What's the breakthrough? And I stacked up these one mores. And I did have this sense like I am going to be the person who is pursuing these one mores much more aggressively than most other people will, because I'm not the smartest. And so because I'm not, I have to outwork people and I can control that. And I think anybody who knows me will tell you back in those days, and even now, they'd say that dude doesn't get cheated when it comes to work. I won't get cheated. So that humility of knowing my limitations, some of you that are like, I know I'm not this or that or the other.

54:38Awesome. That's great. Let's leverage that into being a one more thinker, being a one more doer. Let's leverage our humility. That humility you have, which is all it really is. You're way more talented, way more gifted, way more favored than you know you are. But let's leverage the fact that you don't believe all that stuff about you. You don't have to believe all these great things about you. What we have to do is do the right things for right now. And as we do the right things, all this evidence is going to start to appear for you one by one by one by one. And by the way, I'm not unique to that.

55:07Jamie's story is identical in just a different way in a different form. And if you took apart most people who are successful, there are these one meetings, one relationship, one decision away from new levels all the time. And I did have a belief I would find those. Yeah. When I read the open of your book, I instantly went to, you know, as everyone I think will do, you apply it right away to your own life. Yeah. And you start thinking about where could I have done one more? Where did I do one more? And it made all the difference. And the first thing I thought about was, you know, for me, it was hundreds and hundreds of no's, but I learned to sort of change my relationship with rejection and just keep going for that one more.

55:48And then I eventually got that one yes. And then I eventually got the one show and I would email and email and email, you know, trying to get into a retailer who told me I would never write. And it's that one more email and you don't know which one it's going to be. But when you go for that one more, um, you change your relationship. Let me ask you this. You change your relationship with the one more or with the rejection. Do you think to some extent that people, I write about this a little bit in the book, but I'm more and more believing this. Do you feel like maybe you have a different relationship with pain than most people, meaning I feel like to some extent eventually, because I got a lot of pain in my life.

56:25I think my relationship with it changed, that the presence of it didn't mean necessarily I was a failure or the presence of pain or adversity used to mean to me, see, that's proof. I'm not. But now at some point, the presence of pain, my relationship was like, I'm going to get something from my pain. I'm going to get pain anyway. And I talk about this a lot lately, but all pain is temporary. It's when we believe it's permanent. Nothing's permanent. My father's body, other than my father's soul, my father's body even wasn't permanent. My body's not permanent. So my father's pain in going through chemo or radiation or the surgeries wasn't permanent.

57:08And so the pain you're in, whatever it is, is not permanent. Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary pain and temporary conditions. And at some point, my relationship with pain changed just a little bit to where the presence of it, Napoleon Hill says that on the other side of pain, if you can survive the temporary, you get introduced to your other self. And that's so profound to think this presence of pain in my life, if I can survive the temporary, on the other side of it, I meet another me. And usually another version of your life is on the other side of it. So now when pain comes into our lives, it's not that we want it, not that we embrace it, but we almost dance with it differently now because we know on the other side of this, there's another us.

57:56And you know this to be true. You've met many different versions of yourself on the other side of temporary setbacks and pain. So have I, and I hope that helps everyone. It does. Well, and I don't fear it anymore. Me either. I want to get really real about pain, though. You, I don't want to say inflict pain on yourself, cause pain. You're very hard on yourself. And I think that may surprise a lot of people because you are also so inspiring and uplifting and you just, oh my goodness, can you just pour into someone and have them just believing to the point where they're flying. You know what I mean?

58:34Flying high with belief. Thank you. And this other part of you is so hard on yourself. Yeah. Can you share that? This is what I've finally discovered as I've gotten older, is that when you allow yourself to feel loved and valued, you'll actually achieve far more significant things. So this actual feeling of if I get this achievement, I get this significance, then I'll get love is actually a limiting level of significance and achievement. But someone who feels loved, someone who feels cared for, someone who feels valuable, they go achieve far greater external things anyway. And it's not always just achievement.

59:12It also can just be attention. So sometimes people conflate attention with love. So if I can get this woman's attention, if I can get this man's attention, if I look, my look, if they think I look great and I can get attention for that, then I'll feel loved. Or if they think I'm really smart, then I'll feel loved. Or if I can read them my resume that I've got an MBA or I've got a doctorate, then I'll feel loved. Or I'm going to tell them about my jet and my car. I meet people all the time where I live here. That's like the first three minutes is their resume. I've got this. I've got that. I did this.

59:46I did that. And I've literally stopped people here before after a while when they do it with me at this particular place I live. And I go, hey, brother, I love you. It's cool, brother. I love you. You're cool with me if you had that jet or you didn't. I don't love your jet. I love you. Right. I don't love how beautiful you are. I love you. right? I don't love what you're achieving. And so we have an achievement addicted culture as well. That's lying to people by saying, if you'll just go do these things, then you'll feel better about yourself. Then you'll be happier. And I talk a lot about blissful dissatisfaction, which is essentially this people conflate.

1:00:26You can be dissatisfied and want more and still be blissful. You can live blissfully and still be dissatisfactions healthy Disfaction says I'm capable of this and I'm doing this. I want to fill the gap. That's wonderful Nothing wrong with being dissatisfied That's totally different than being unhappy though So you can simultaneously be blissful and happy and dissatisfied to the extent that you want to grow and change That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Milet show on Apple and Spotify links are in the show notes You'll never miss an episode that way Welcome back to Max Out, everybody.

1:01:02I am Ed Milet, and by popular demand, I have the man to my left here today. He's one of the most inspirational figures in the world, author, motivational speaker, thought leader, and for me, one of the most interesting and influential people in all of social media, somebody that I'm very proud to call a friend of mine, former NFL football player, Baylor football player, wonderful father and husband, Trent Shelton's here with me today. Hey, man, thanks, man. I appreciate that. Thank you for being here. connect man I've been waiting for this for a long time I think a lot of people have been waiting for this so people ask me are all your friends really wealthy and successful no right in fact a couple of my very best friends I consider them incredibly successful but not wealthy right they're successful as husbands are successful as dads are successful in their contribution they don't measure success based on money but I consider them successful people all my friends most of them have this in common they're very self-aware yeah they're self-aware and so because they're so self-aware they're aware also of me it's very difficult to be to be able to give yourself to somebody and support them if you don't even aware of who the heck you are exactly so I got some goofy crazy friends because but I love that about them not all of them are business moguls or former athletes they're just people who kind of know themselves and like themselves and want to change themselves that's what mine have in common but I want to talk about that change now with you yeah because they see this man I mean I think it's obvious that you know you're you and I are grown men we're sinners saved by God's grace in both of our minds, but we make mistakes.

1:02:28And we're both always trying to figure stuff out. But let's be honest, I think one of the reasons you've evolved so much is that you're vulnerable with the changes you make. So if you follow Trent, and if you're not, you're about to, all of you, you know, you're going to see someone who's constantly giving wonderful advice like what you're hearing, based on his own experiences and mistakes. But it's amazing to me to think that this man that I know is such a loving father. And when we talk on the phone or in person about what kind of father you are about what kind of a son you are a friend you are a husband you are i consider you a great man based on those things about you but those are things that have also made progress in your life too so if you're willing to talk about this just for a second for sure let's talk a little bit about tristan and your son because you said at three years old you know right you would come back and all that but let's if you don't mind sharing this i want all the men and women hearing this who right now are beating themselves up about a behavior they have every that's listening to this there's something you're ashamed of.

1:03:25There's something that you've done in the past or currently doing that you think because you've been bad, you can't win. You can't make progress. You can't change. You don't deserve to succeed. And you keep beating yourself up about this, something you've done that you don't feel good about. So if you'd share this and they can see a total turnaround and somebody share it. Before I start, I'm going to share three things real quick for, cause I'll forget where these three and some people who follow me might've heard these things but I came up with these quotes based upon this transformation. Number one, I said my transparency leads to my transformation and I want them to understand that.

1:04:00Your transparency leads to your transformation and other people's transformation. The second thing that I told myself was see my heart not my past. Right? Because just because you made some past mistakes doesn't mean your future can't be great. So understand that. So with my story, me and Maria, who's my wife you know we didn't have a cinderella type of you know come together and it was so beautiful we went through a lot yeah you know tristan was born out of out of whale lock and it hurts me to say this man and tristan knows so if he ever sees this he knows but i was viewing tristan as a disappointment when maria called me told me she was pregnant i was viewing him as a disappointment and it's amazing how when i fast forward how god can use what you thought was your biggest disappointment as your greatest rescue.

1:04:47Absolutely. And Tristan, when you listen to this later, the first thing your daddy talked about when we first met was you. Just so you know. Exactly. So that's why he knows. And he knows. And so the reason I say that is because me and Maria had a girlfriend at the time. You had another girlfriend. I had another girlfriend at the time. This is my first time talking about it, man. So I'm giving it to you, brother. I had a girlfriend at the time and we were off and on and that was still no excuse for me to do what I was doing, but I was messing around. I was living that lifestyle, man, which is a hard lifestyle to handle.

1:05:15I mean, you have money, you have everything at your disposal. You want to live that life. And I ended up getting Maria pregnant. And when Maria called me, I made her feel like she was wrong for getting pregnant because I didn't want to face my truth because I knew I had to call my girlfriend. I didn't have to say, Hey, I cheated. And, you know, make a long story short, I was in New York and I tell her and, you know, she kicks me out and I I feel like my punishment was right after I get stuck in the airport for two days. For two days. And what was even deeper is our families were close. So our parents that were best friends didn't talk for years.

1:05:53And subconsciously, and even consciously, I was blaming Maria for it. So I was treating her wrong throughout our whole pregnancy. And it was probably the lowest point of my life, man. But it took me facing my reality, which a lot of us don't do. you would never win your war by running from your battles so it took me manning up looking myself in the mirror and say you're not being a man you had an example you have no excuse your dad was a man yeah you know my dad was in my life and so I faced it man and um to fast forward you know me and Maria we went through our ups and downs she dated other people I dated other people but Maria was there for me when nobody else was she had all the right to get back at me by saying You're nobody now.

1:06:37You don't have football no more. You're playing arena football. You don't have any money. She never threw that in my face. She never bothered me about child support when I couldn't afford it. She stuck by my side regardless. And I appreciate her forever. Baby, you watching this? I love you forever for this. And she believed in my purpose when nobody else did. That's wonderful. And a lot of people on social media are like, oh, you know, Maria doesn't, she's a silent supporter. I know exactly what you're talking about. I do. It's like, oh, she should be a speaker. No, she shouldn't. And if she wants to be that, fine, but she supports me more than anybody else because she allows me to do what I do without any interference.

1:07:12I love you, man. Like, just so you know, your transparency does lead to your transformation. And the fact that you're willing to share this because he's such an incredible father. And you can see his love for Maria and how he talks about her. And by the way, Maria, same thing, off camera, too. That's how I measure a man, right? Like, when no one's around, when you're with your boys, then how do you talk? How do you act? and I admire that about you, but I will, like, people say, well, I'm vulnerable on social media. That's real vulnerability. Yeah, man. But you just, like, because all of us listen to this.

1:07:40Listen, everybody, I love you so much, man. Thank you, man. I appreciate you so much because you're so highly respected, and it's easy when we're in the positions you and I are in to sort of put on a facade of perfection, and, you know, people say, well, I share something. That's sharing something, and I hope everybody listens to this. We all have things in our life. Listen, listen. we all have things in our life we're ashamed of. That's right. We all, I was just thinking of something the other day, you know, in the interest of time, but I was like, I can't believe I did that. At one age, I'd done something in a classroom on a test in college, you know, and I was like, I can't believe I did that.

1:08:15Like, we all do things we're ashamed of, and what happens is we hold our own sins against ourselves for the rest of our life, and they hold us back from making progress. So the fact that you do share this, it does give you a chance to move past it to make progress. I'm so impressed with you. I want everyone to hear this message. This man has turned himself into one of the most influential people on the earth about how to transform your life and change your life. And he came from the places he's describing to you. Forget perfection. It doesn't, forget it. It doesn't exist. You know, and I know in the social media era, it's, it's popular.

1:08:48I mean, it's popular, right? I mean, it's like nobody's really posting their struggles. And I'm not telling you to go on a soapbox and post all your struggles online. You I'm not saying that, but just be real. It's okay to show that you're a human. It's okay to be embarrassed. I mean, when I first started speaking, it was 10 people that showed up, and it was my family and my friends, but I was proud. Yes. Like, I was happy about that, and I just see so many entrepreneurs, influencers trying to fake it till they make it. You're so right. The better thing to do, when we agreed, by the way, we were going to riff today because we shared stuff, the better thing to do is to get people rooting for you, and by the way, when you're vulnerable, people root for you.

1:09:24It's a big time. Show your weaknesses and your bad days, the things that aren't going good. So you shouldn't do it for this reason. But here's the secret. If you want to grow your social media content, if you come across perfect all the time, that kind of gets boring, right? It's not relatable. It's not relatable. It's not true. And people kind of sense it. So unbelievable story. Just unbelievable. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody.

1:09:53I'm so excited about today's program because I'm one of the most inspirational people, I think, on earth today with me. And she was also, I always put these polls out to you guys saying, who do you want on my show? And there kept being this name coming up, this beautiful name, by the way, Fallon Taylor. Fallon Taylor. Get her on your show. And so I'm so excited that she's here today. This lady to my left is amazing. She's an incredible entrepreneur. She's got an amazing social media and YouTube presence. but she's probably best known for being a world barrel racing champion. And not only is that extraordinary, but she did that after breaking her neck and having a 2 % chance to even ever walk again.

1:10:31And she comes back and wins what is really the world series of barrel racing. So I'm so excited for you guys to hear this story. So thank you for being here. Thank you so much. I really am excited to be here. How important have your parents been to you? So insanely instrumental. And so I always encourage people because I realize that I'm probably in the minority of people that have parents that were married for 56 years and, you know, have that kind of encouragement. I think that that's the biggest thing, the biggest takeaway for me when I help someone is I'm understanding they don't have that same support.

1:11:02But you can get that same support from just like the Max Out universe. You've got people around you that are like-minded, that want to help you, that want to see other people win. Not everybody's going to want to see you win. Right. Not every single person is excited for your journey because you're going to prove a lot of their beliefs wrong So be around people that really believe that if you do all of the things necessary to really get some lift off the ground of the things You want to achieve those people are going to just propel you to the next level So being a part of something is really important.

1:11:31It's why I created this. It's like I want our community supporting each other That's why I do all this stuff of like hey comment on my stuff get in there I want you commenting on each other stuff. I want you liking each other stuff I want you knowing what each other do and supporting each other because you're exactly right. Most people don't have parents like you have or that I have. They don't have people in their life that are supporting. So you have to go find those people. And in my case, I've created that environment for you to find those people. And then I bring on amazing people like you too.

1:11:57So last question. If you and I, you know, this has been a blessing for me as I've told you. But if one of my listeners said, could I get like five minutes and a cup of coffee with you, right? Or could we go on a ride for five minutes? and they could ask you something. Most of them would say, and I know we've covered a lot of it, but you're just like, there's so much still that we didn't even get to. And they said, I want to make my dream come true. And I'm at this place where I'm not doing it. I've tried and I failed. I tried and I failed. Or I don't have support around me. What would you just say to somebody who's like, I got a dream too.

1:12:29And you've inspired me today. What would be just a couple things you would share with them? If they met you like I got to, what would you share with them that they should be doing and thinking? I would tell them to write it down. The craziest thing. Let your mind wander to the craziest place it could go. Because we limit ourselves so much. And we limit ourselves by those beliefs that aren't true. Writing down if you had just an endless supply of money and all the time in the world, what it is that you would do. And then break it down to what if you had almost no time? What would you regret that you haven't done?

1:12:58What's that big regret? What's that regret? And then attack that thing first. Go there. and when the brain starts to kind of work its way around what if this thing could actually be possible the other little stuff comes along it's so crazy when you when you focus on fixing yourself and loving yourself all of a sudden that standard shift like I think more about my checkbook I think more about my how my spouse is treating me I think more about the people I keep around me and how they speak to me I think more about what I get up and get dressed like in the morning you know there's a time where it was sweatpants and it was just like, if I left my house, it'd be a miracle because I was so depressed and in such a place.

1:13:39And now it's like, no, there's a standard for how I want to present myself to a group of people. And however they think about that is their own problem. That's their own belief system. So I think just narrowing it down to what's that one big thing. Let's not leave this planet regretting something that we haven't tried and you will fail. And that's okay. That's the biggest lesson. The biggest lesson is in the failure. Oh my gosh, like 2013 for you, right? Every time. I think your whole, I picture this day today of the whole story of this little girl who turns pro at, you know, seven years old and then has this amazing life.

1:14:10But then I picture you taking that first step down the hallway that you've got to walk back and forth, right? And it's amazing to me to think that first step you took that day to get to the end of the hallway and back, that step eventually led to you being the world champion back on a horse. The smallest thing. It gets me emotional all over again. And it's those, nothing's ever done in these huge moments. Nobody's going to run up to you and go, I've got a million dollar idea. Or I'm going to help you win a world title. It's this little like saying yes to the lady that said you can get up, but you might die.

1:14:40Or saying yes to, yeah, I might try that thing. Or saying yes to, well, do you want to give this another shot? It's a little tiny thing. Saying yes to a first date with somebody you thought would never like you. Saying yes to a job that you think you're not qualified for. Saying yes to, it's not these huge moments. It's those little tiny ones, just that one step, that one little step. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. Hey, guys, welcome back to the show.

1:15:12You know, the reason I do this show, and by the way, it's precious to me because we only do one a week. We're the number one show in the world. And that is not easy to do when you do one a week and you're sort of ranked up against shows that come out every day or three or four days a week. And so that seat that this man is sitting in means the world to me because I only get to share one person a week with each of you. And so I take it as a great responsibility to make this time we have together every week so profound and so valuable in your lives. And I know so many of you get value out of it, and that's why you share the show.

1:15:41So I wanted to thank you. Today in particular is really an honor for me because I'm going to introduce somebody to you that some of you will know but many of you will not know. And I wanted him on the show today solely because of how good his work is How solid his content is in helping people change their lives and perform at a higher level I'd call him like a peak performance expert There's all kinds of different terms I could come up to describe this man But he's got a book called The Breakthrough Code that is outstanding And I like the way it's written He was a Wall Street guy for a while Then went to work to train in Tony Robbins companies He's been training top athletes and corporations for many years and he's just great at changing people's lives.

1:16:19And so Tom McCarthy, welcome to the show today. Yeah. It's an honor to be with you, Ed. And I'm just amazed at what you've done in such a short period of time. And it's incredible. Well, thank you. Identity. Uh, we both talk about identity a great deal and I think it's almost invisible to most people. So, you know, when you really listen to someone or you watch them, you can begin to hear their identity. I'm working with a couple of new athletes right now. And people ask me all the time, what do you work with when you're with athletes or what do you work with when you're with a CEO of a company or an entertainer or whatever it might be say my name say my name which I think might be Beyonce I'm not completely right am I right about that probably I am right about that the fact that I know that is pretty bizarre and if I'm wrong it's close enough everybody but it was rattling in my head yeah so anyway I might be right it's close but what I work with usually when I'm talking with athletes or working with them there's all kinds of different techniques but at the end of the day if I distilled it down, it's both their confidence and their identity.

1:17:14At the top levels, people still struggle with confidence. When you see an athlete go in a slump, is that they don't know how to hit anymore? Yeah. No. A couple negative results happened. They started to move towards that story, and all of a sudden, they're lacking confidence. And so if you have to work on your self-confidence or your identity, welcome to being a human. And I'm talking about people that have led big countries, run big companies, are the top athletes in the world. I think a lot of people think, well, I struggle with my confidence, so I'm not like these other people. It's natural to them.

1:17:44Yeah, right, until they have a big setback, and then it's not so natural. Or they just have this amazing identity, and they just have more, yeah, until they don't anymore, until the success is stripped of them. So how does one begin to build a new identity, and how important is it? It's everything. Your identity is your most critical story that's inside of you that shapes everything you see. Like we think we see the world with our eyes, right? We think we hear things with our ears, but you really don't. You hear with your story, right? You see with your story. And identity is like your truest, most precious part of your story, the one that you're going to like stand up for day after day.

1:18:28And a lot of people do have identities that are not supporting them. You know, they have identities or belief systems around. Like, I've written a couple books on speaking, public speaking, right? I've been speaking all around the world for years and years and years. And so we'll train somebody and they'll go, you know, I always get nervous right before I speak. And what I try and do is, like, that can't be the way you think about this. And they go, well, no, they get over it. And I go, yeah, but nervousness, you're either in one of two emotional states. I'm going to generalize here a little bit.

1:19:05When you do anything, you're either in a protective state. You're walking in. Like if I come in here and I'm going, all right, I don't know this guy. What's he going to ask me? I'm in a protective state. I'm not going to be as good. Words aren't going to flow. The mind's not going to work. Or I'm in a growth state, right? I've already flubbed some words, made some mistakes. I don't even worry about that when I'm speaking. I don't even worry about that. I probably made like 84 mistakes already. I don't think so. Right, if we've been counting. Yeah, I'm just kidding. I've been counting. but it doesn't bother me right because i'm not worried about that my identity is is not that i've got to be perfect every single time my day is just i give everything i've got i'm going to just pour everything i have into this and we're gonna have some fun but my identity and i'm sure yours has shifted a lot you know from childhood i was that person that thought life was hard i thought i was that person that thought life wasn't freaking fair man why don't how come i don't have a dad.

1:19:57I had to shift that. I had to shift that. And at the core of who we are is our identity. And when you really get clear on what that is, you can, and if you don't like it, you don't have to stick with it, right? You can shift it and change it. I love what you were saying earlier. It's to me, it's like carving away at something. So I don't look at it as like one and not, right? You know, I know there's some lag time, but I'm just going to carve away today, carve away, carve away, carve away. And then it does start feeling more and more real and then you're living it. And then life is so much easier because you're not even seeing the same world you used to see.

1:20:32It's a completely different world you're experiencing. And that may be hard for people to imagine. Like, what do you mean it's a different world? Like everyone sees the same thing. No, they don't. I had a friend, I was in a car accident. It wasn't bad, but we were in Hawaii. This friend of mine, CEO of a company was driving. His daughter was in the back. She was like six years old and somebody hit him in from behind so his experience was he's pissed off like gets out you know he's kind of angry uh and i'm sitting in the car his daughter in the back you know she called me uncle t she goes hey uncle t because can we go out and look she goes this is so exciting right you know this is so i've never been in an accident before so people don't see the same thing they do not yeah yeah dude brother that is such a good example on identity there's little pieces of ourselves that we begin to realize.

1:21:22Like I used to hear people say, I'll give you one little subtle thing that might help everybody. I was just thinking of it when you said it. Why hear, and I say this often too, like a lot of my, the separation is in the preparation, I say. Or like, you know, a lot of my confidence comes from how prepared I am. It's a real fine line with that though, because years ago it drifted into something dangerous for me. So yeah, I do think you need to be prepared. But I think a lot of people, what holds them back is the threshold of what they think they need to know before they act. Yeah. You agree with that?

1:21:52Absolutely. So like they, they get this preparation thing conflated where they go. Yeah. And so I'm just preparing. Yeah. And if I just knew a little bit more about it, if I was a little bit more prepared, if I had a little bit more knowledge, if I went to one more seminar, if I read one more book, if I just had one more exercise, then I take action. What I find is the identity level of people that do find bliss, do find successes, their threshold for what they think they need to know before they leap is lower and the people that struggle the threshold of what they think they need to know or be prepared or capable of is so high that they never quite meet that threshold to take a leap that was just a subtle thing that is such a great point because i you know there's people in life that whatever they do they just seem to get the ball in the end zone yes right and you know were they more prepared maybe but a lot of times they weren't and then there's people that and they're good people, but they always need that extra little thing.

1:22:46And, and that, you know, they're never quite ready and everything looks good. And then it doesn't work out. Uh, I do a little test with this stuff on me and I'm sure you do it on you too, but I do some crazy things, right? Like, um, I was asked years ago, actually it was 2005. So as many years ago, I was asked to play in this poker tournament. Now I'd played poker exactly one time in my life and it was back in college. So it was 20 years before. And these guys are saying, you know, come on, it's going to be great. There's going to be some World Series of poker players that play in the World Championships that are going to be there.

1:23:19And I'm like, guys, I don't even know how to play. I don't even remember anything. They go, well, yeah, come on. You're going to be fun. So I said, all right, I'll do it. And I said, you've got to spend, I told one of the guys, you've got to spend 10 minutes with me and just show me the hands and remind me of the rules and things like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, exactly. But I didn't watch, and, you know, because I'm not, I don't play poker. I haven't played since. But I didn't watch tutorials. I didn't read books. I only had like a week to prepare. But here's what I did. Every time, because my identity was, at first, it was like, I'm going to suck at this.

1:23:53I'm going to embarrass myself. I'm going to lose early. And I'm like, no, stop that. Stop. I said, put a new thought process in. Put a new belief system in. And literally, this is crazy. but I told myself over and over again that I made great decisions and I found a way to win. And every time I thought of it, and I didn't, you know, I didn't proactively think of a lot, but every time I thought about, oh, that thing's coming up, yep, I made great decisions, found a way to win. Now, when I said it, though, I was like in a confident state, right? I made sure I matched what I wanted to, the emotional state that I wanted to have.

1:24:26And I literally believed that I was going to win the damn thing, right? And so I remember I'm getting ready to leave, and my wife knew I'd never played before or played once. And I said, hey, I'm getting ready to leave, go to that poker tournament. She goes, what time does it start? I said 6.30. She goes, I'll see you at 7. And so anyways, I went. I didn't even let that, right? Because you got the naysayers. She was just playing with me. We've been married 30 years. You just met her. But I went, and I just, you know, I had this confidence, like unearned confidence. Yeah. Totally unearned confidence.

1:24:58But people are making mistakes, and I win my table, and then I get to, you know, finally the championship table, and now I have one guy left. I had, like, this huge pile of chips, and he didn't have as many, but he was, like, you know, one of these really good players, and people are saying, oh, this guy's beating you. He doesn't even know how to play, and the guy's getting pissed off. And he goes all in. I go all in, and, you know, I win. That's awesome. My friends are picking me up, and I got this, you know, big, huge trophy and bracelet and all this kind of stuff. I love it. And so I come back.

1:25:25It's, like, 2 in the morning. I open the door of the bedroom. My wife's long asleep. Turn the light on. Guess who you're sleeping with tonight? I love that. Now, I'm not saying I could have done that 10 times in a row. But literally, I consciously burned all the boats. I did not allow a thought that was going to lower my confidence in any way. And I did it for about a week, right? Great. Yeah, but that's what happens, right? You know, even if I wouldn't have won, I know I would have played a heck of a lot better because I had done that. That's the thing that most people don't get. Well, I didn't win.

1:26:01Well, were you better? Yeah. Okay. Then do it. That's the whole point. By the way, I love that term unearned confidence. Obviously, the highest form of confidence is something you've earned. But let me tell you something. Unearned confidence is a pretty damn good substitute. And it's a whole lot better. When you got to go. And by the way, what most people think, this is what they'd say to themselves, I've earned lack of confidence. and so you think you have to earn this confidence thing all the time it is absolutely not true and not enough of you give yourself credit for your intentions either you don't give yourself enough credit just for your intentions to serve your intentions to contribute and it's a huge huge thing I I love that story because you know for me I where's it come from for me often I had two friends the last week say something I have a couple things I'm ill prepared for like I have no life experience preparing me for a couple things kind of like this poker tournament for really good friend of mine, John Gordon said, by the way, we've talked a lot about energy today.

1:26:52I'm also a Christian. So I'm both and John's and he's a good Christian friend of mine. He goes, Ed, faith over fear, choose faith over fear. I'm like, that feels good, man. And then like three days later, my next door neighbor at the beach, Jerry, Jerry, if you're listening to this, thank you for this gift. He's like, Hey man, I've just, all my life, I've chosen faith over fear. Yeah. And it just, I was like, wow. Now that's that vibrational frequency thing, right? Like, like all of a sudden, both of these messages were being directed to me. For me, that applies to my Christian faith, but for some of you, it might be, I'm going to have faith in the work I've put in.

1:27:20I'm going to have faith that, you know, that everything always works out for me. But sometimes it's just a matter of taking a leap and going, I'm going to choose faith over fear because what is holding you back is the fear. So I just wanted to share that with everybody. One thing, one thing on that, on two ed is, uh, turn fear into faith because fear is energy, but use that energy, shift that energy and turn it into faith. I used to sometimes, you know, way back in the past, be a little bit jealous. Hey, how'd that person, you know, accomplish that or do that. Then I'm like, hey, that's not a good use of energy.

1:27:50And I turn jealousy into prosperity, right? You know, I just, whenever I will, you know, see someone doing well, I'm like, whoa, great. Hey, this is proving that I can do even more too. And literally just shifting energy into another form. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm so excited to have my friend here today. This guy, he's perfect timing for me in my life.

1:28:26And so I know what we're going to discuss today is going to improve and change your life tremendously. And I just have this feeling I'm having him on again at the right time. So this gentleman's been on the show. I very rarely have people come back twice, but when they really, really help people, I do it. So very few times, Only a couple I had done that. But my friend Trent Shelton is here today. Trent is an author. He's a podcaster. Straight up with Trent Shelton is his podcast. And I think I would just call him somebody who, I guess a life strategist, but I just think he helps people manage their lives better.

1:28:57And I want him to help all of you do that today. And I think he's the best at what he does. So Trent Shelton, welcome back to the show, my brother. Yeah, man. I appreciate you, man. Thanks for having me back. It's good to see you. It's good to be back on this epic podcast, bro. So thank you, man. Now there's the, so there's the angels in our life. And then there's the people that aren't angels in our lives. This is part of that peace thing. Yeah. And everybody says all the time, Hey, remove toxic people from your life. But here's the truth. Almost nobody ever does it. Almost nobody does it. They just don't, they go, I'm going to get rid of these toxic people in my life.

1:29:33Yeah. But you don't, you don't. And I think, I don't know if it's a lack of courage or the ability to do it or if people feel like well then i'm going to be alone and that's worse than this toxic person in my life but talk about because you're just so profound about this is the the way you say it what do toxic people do to us and then how do we find the strength to do we remove them do we keep them at a distance like what are your thoughts about toxic people stealing that piece i want this year or we all want absolutely i'll just i'll just ask everybody's question and this question seems a little bit straight up and harsh but it's the reality you know if you're in a situation where your environment sucks your environment's terrible and i want to be clear ed you know i mean sometimes we're the toxic people you know i mean sometimes we gotta look ourselves in the in the mirror and make sure we're not that person and take that responsibility but once you understand that you have the things around your life you gotta ask yourself So picture everything in your life as soil, right?

1:30:35Your environment is soil. The people that you're around, the places you take your life, everything is soil. I believe that each and every one of us, we're a seed. We're a seed of greatness. We're a seed of goodness. We're a seed of, you know, a person being legendary. We have all of those qualities in us. I believe God made us that way. What happens is a lot of us, we put our seed in toxic soil and we wonder why we're not producing the right harvest for our life. Right. We wonder why we're producing weed. We wonder why we're producing things that end up dying. So I want to ask the person listening to this right now is what type of soil are you putting your seed in?

1:31:19Because a great seed and bad soil will not produce good fruit, will not produce a good harvest. and you got to be real with yourself. Do you want to live the rest of your life unhappy? Do you want to die unhappy? Do you want to die miserable? Because like you said, a lot of people are afraid. They're afraid of confrontation. They're afraid of what people are going to say once they make that decision because we know how it is. People will start to make you feel like you're the bad person no matter what you have done for them. They'll point out all the things you didn't do and not all the things you did do.

1:31:49I think people are also, yeah, they're afraid to be alone. But you have to understand this about the journey. sometimes it takes being perfectly lonely, because I say perfectly, to understand what being perfectly loved feels like. So it took me in my darkest moments, in my loneliest times, to understand God's true love for my life. And once I realized the love that he had for me, once I realized how he created me, it became a lot easier. So I gained more confidence. I knew my worth. And I went on this journey of being the greatest me. And one thing about the journey that's true, the journey will always be loyal to giving your life what it needs so as i walk down the right path yeah it was lonely at first as i'm climbing this mountain i've seen somebody else that was climbing the mountain in the same direction i've seen somebody else as i went a little higher that was climbing the mountain in the right direction and you build this tribe of like mindsets and so you know another illustration just really quick and like yeah please it's it's like a i'll just put it like this.

1:32:48My neighbor, like two houses down, we're in Texas, right? We're like in Dallas, it's hot. So we moved here and my neighbor has like a palm tree and it was about fall time. So the palm tree, it looked good. Right. And so when winter hit, the palm tree was terrible, right? The palm tree was bad. The palm tree withered away, it died. They have to cut the top off. It looked terrible. And it made me realize it's true. And I want people to understand this. When you look at your life and you look at yourself as that palm tree, right? You're beautiful. Everybody wants you. You're a popular tree. But if you put yourself, right?

1:33:26If you put that palm tree in New York, that palm tree wouldn't ever reach its full potential. That palm tree wouldn't be a palm tree. It would be an ugly tree nobody would buy. But if you put that palm tree in Cali, you put that palm tree in Florida, you put that palm tree in Hawaii, you put that palm tree in Puerto Rico in the right environments, that palm tree flourishes. That palm tree looks beautiful. So with your life, yeah, you're that palm tree. You have all those great qualities. And if you're in the wrong environment, you will never meet the potential that your life has.

1:34:16Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu is now streaming on Disney+. What are you waiting for? Hop on. The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+. This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu, now streaming on Disney+. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports.

1:35:10Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.