Why You’re Never 100% Ready and Why That’s Okay Feat. Jeff Foxworthy

30:14And that's what I used to think. The way I dealt with homeless people was if I'm at a red light and I see one, I've reached in my pocket and pull out 10 bucks and you know give it to them and like go away but did i tell you and stop me if i did about the first guy i ever met at the shelter yeah but i want to talk about it that's jason isn't it jason yeah yeah go ahead i want them i want them to hear this so so the first kid i meet at the shelter he's like 21 years old healthy and i sit down and have lunch with him and i ask everybody their story. I said, what's your story, Jason? And he said, well, it was me, my brother, my mom, and my dad.

30:55And when I was 11, my mom killed herself. And a couple of years after that, my brother killed himself. And it was me and my dad. In my second year of college, my dad killed himself. And he said, I just, I got where I could not hurt anymore. And I started smoking crack. And I'm sitting across the table thinking, hell, dude, I want to start smoking crack, too. Who can lose everybody in their immediate family to suicide and all the thoughts that go with that? And so Jason wasn't a bad guy. Jason had a hurt that he couldn't deal with. And when I started doing small group Bible studies with these guys, you start realizing almost every one of them, something bad had happened to them as a kid.

31:48And they couldn't deal with the hurt. So they started drinking or they started doing drugs. And when you do that, you're not employable. And, you know, then you take from your family and to the point they can't deal with it anymore. And that's how you end up on the street. And so I learned through that thing. it's like, okay, if we can ever identify the hurt, then maybe you got a shot. And I mean, I don't know how many times I'd have a prepared lesson and we'd be doing it. And some guy would just start crying. And I'm like, Pete, what's wrong? And, you know, Pete would then tell the story about how his uncle would abuse him in the garage or something.

32:33And I said, okay, that's Pete, this is so great because you've had this locked in the basement and now you've finally gone down, opened that door, drug it up the stairs, pulled it out in the front yard and let it sit in the sunlight and call it what it is. It's not a secret anymore. And we love you just the same. And God loves you just the same. And so if you could ever put salve on that hurt and just say, This is not your fault. You're love, man. And part of my image, because there's something, I don't know if other people think, like, I'm such a picture guy. But, man, there's so many times I would do it as a kid, and I still do it as a 67-year-old.

33:17I'll say to God, Dad, can I crawl up in your lap, and you just rub my head for a minute, please, because I'm having a bad day today. and that's the way I view it man it's that loving father just like yeah buddy crawl up in my lap this is such a good conversation I told you guys it's gonna give me a normal one you know I it's interesting you help people heal through the bible study stuff you do the ministry stuff you do you heal them when they laugh and as I've been a speaker the last My dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I got sober, though. So I had two dads. I had the dad before that and then had this amazing father for many years after that.

34:04I was blessed. Yeah, you got to see him that way. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by eBay. Before all the algorithm fed blah and the endless sea of dupes, shopping used to feel more fun. Find that feeling again on eBay. It's not mindless scrolling. It's a fashion pursuit. And when you score that rare Adidas collab or the Dior saddlebag you've been manifesting, it's a rush. eBay has millions of preloved finds from hundreds of brands backed by authenticity guarantee. eBay, things people love. Next up is a little song from CarMax about selling a car your way. You want to sell those wheels. You want to get a CarMax instant offer.

34:46So fast. Want to take a sec to think about it. Or like a month?

35:03So, want to drive? CarMax. Pickup not available everywhere. Restrictions and fee may apply. I think one lesson I would share with everybody today, just because it just occurred to me saying it, so I just need to make sure I say it, is my dad then helped thousands of other people get sober over his lifetime. And the reason that that is, is you're most qualified in your life to help those that you used to be. And so a lot of times the adversary will try to get you to believe your sin, your mistake, your setback, your divorce, your bankruptcy, your sin, your averageness, the fact that you've always been average is disqualifying to do anything great in your life.

35:37And the fact is, I think God's going, no, no, no, no, we're going to use that. And that's my dad's alcoholism and drug addiction was really the catalyst of the great works that my dad did in his life. And so you're most used to be. It's what made people listen to him, is he knew what he was talking about, right? Correct. I always did that with my comedy. I was lucky. I found a template very early on that worked. And that was that if I thought something or my wife said something or my family did something, I'm going to trust other people are thinking and saying and doing the same thing, no matter where they lived.

36:19And even with the redneck jokes, that came from people, because I had this thick accent. I remember the first time I was up working in New York, I had a New York comic pull me out in the lobby, and he said, yo, dude, look, I don't want to hurt your feelings or nothing, right? But you've got to take some voice lessons and lose, you've got to lose that stupid accent you got. And I'm like, well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent. You know, so I was adamant about keeping my accent. And I was blue collar. I wore jeans and boots. I drove a pickup truck. And they were always good nature, but they were kidding me about Foxworthy.

37:01You're nothing but an old redneck from Georgia, you know. And one night I was playing in a club right outside Detroit. And it was in November, which was deer season. and I said something after the show we were sitting around. I said, man, I wish I was sitting in a tree tomorrow morning. It's opening weekend of deer season. And they were kidding me. And they're like, Foxworthy, you're just an old redneck from Georgia. Well, the club we were playing in was attached to a bowling alley that had valet parking. And I said, if you don't think you have rednecks in Michigan, go look out the window. People are valet parking at the bowling alley.

37:40And I went back to the hotel and I wasn't thinking it was going to be a hook or a book. I was just like, look, I know what I am. But apparently a lot of people don't know if they're in the 10 ways to tell. And so it wasn't laughing at somebody. It was laughing with, you know, I could go through those jokes. And I'm like, that's my sister. That's my brother. That's my Uncle Bob. You know, that's my Aunt Judy. I mean, I wasn't doing research. They were popping out pretty quick. Yeah. I just heard one you did. We won't do the joke here, but I was laughing. It was the wedding reception you went to at Hooters, which is just hilarious.

38:22The reason I want to bring it up was that it's such a good joke. You're a great storyteller. So I want to do one just kind of tactical thing today. I wonder, a lot of times you have somebody on. I've noticed this with particularly entertainers. I've had a lot of comedians on because I use the show as a weapon to meet people I'm fans of often. And sometimes people that are great at something can't explain how they do it. They're just great at it. So I'm curious which way that goes with you. You are one of the great all-time storytellers. Telling a story, writing a story and telling it. I'm wondering tactically, like let's just get granular for a second.

39:03What makes a great storyteller? Do you know why you're great at it or why somebody's great at it when you see it as opposed to somebody who's not? Yeah, I think a lot of people have the thoughts that comedians have. But they go in one ear and they think it and it goes out the other. And there's something about a comic that learns to grab it and go, what is that? That's, you know. And if you look like my background looks pretty cool here. but my desk here in front of you, I write all the time. Look at that. You're holding up note cards and papers with notes. Paper. And I've always worked at it.

39:46I always had a work ethic. And I remember when Leno was, when I started, was the king of the road comics. And he was very generous with his time with young comics. And I remember I was still doing amateur nights and working at IBM. I was in Leno invited a bunch of people who was working in town to go to the Waffle House. And he was kind of holding court. And he said, your goal should be to write one new minute a week. Well, and I'm thinking in my mind, I can write 20 or 30 minutes a week. But he was right. And that's being on stage every night to say something that every time you say it, everybody in the room is going to laugh.

40:30And so on those years where I was doing 500 shows a year, I could grind out a new hour every year. Well, then you do an album or you do a special and it's gone. And you're right back to the starting block. And no matter how successful you become at it, you don't get to bypass that part. You're right back at the starting block on stage with a note card going, hey is this funny is this funny yep and but i worked at it always had a work that work ethic and i was i was grinding i mean through the years i think i did nine albums which were hours i did three blue collar movies i did two hbo specials two showtime specials three for netflix um 50 tonight shows so i'm thinking if you if you put that into what how much material is that oh my gosh yeah i think when you say that i think of you and like and seinfeld because the other comedians that i've become friends with because as a speaker i'm the same way i'm always writing i've got stuff next to me i got mine right here as well like there's just pages of them of just an idea, a thought.

41:46Sometimes it's an entire message. Sometimes it's two words. I'm like you as well, but in that sense, in terms of telling stories, but you would, I think is different about you about calm and you just tell me I'm wrong. It's okay. Like we're on, you can tell me I'm wrong, but most of my comedian friends, I mean, by the way, you might say, nah, man, they're just humans. But I would say, you know, I've had Sebastian on, I've had Whitney on, I've had Nikki Glaser on. I've had Dane Cook on. I mean, we've had, I've had Christina P. I've had a lot of comedians on. I love them. And not in general, not just, but I would say in general, a lot of comics privately, I think would even say this.

42:28That's why I said those names. There's a, uh, they're moving out of some pain or darkness almost more than the average person I've met. You tell me if I'm wrong about that. And maybe what's different about you is you do have this light in you which i know what that light is in general the comics that you know would you agree that they're they move they've got a little bit more of a a pain or trauma or dark view type thing in general or am i off on that no i think you're right um you know because i've had people say to me a while. I've always heard comedians are laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.

43:08And I've got, well, in a lot of cases, that's true. It's not true in my case. But, you know, my wife and I grew up together. She came from kind of a similar background. And I don't know why it worked, but I smoothed down her rough edges and she smoothed down my rough edges. We built each other. And I've learned is grown in this. But I find myself, and I jokingly say, I'm two decisions from drywalling. That's how famous I am. If I had to describe myself, I think I'm so thankful. I'm so grateful that I have had a life where I've done something that I really enjoyed. I still enjoy it. I hate the airport and I hate the hotel room.

43:58but that moment when the lights go down and people start clapping, I still get excited. I'm like, yeah. And I don't know if I shared this with you. I don't want to repeat myself, but doing an interview many years ago, a lady had said, okay, you host game shows, you write books, you do stand up, you do sketch. Which one are you? And I said, oh, well, that's an interesting question. Never been asked that. I said, what you described, those are all things I do. And I love what I do. I wouldn't want to do anything else. But who I am is I'm a husband and a dad and a brother and a son and a person of this community and a child of God.

44:47So what I do is probably going to change a lot of times in my life. But that's not my identity. and I think a lot of people in my business that becomes their identity you know because because what the world tells you is wealth and fame will make you happy when I was doing my sitcom in the mid 90s we filmed between Seinfeld and Roseanne at the time Roseanne was number one show on TV, Jerry was number two. But Roseanne had the biggest contract in television. She was making a million dollars in an episode. So she's super, super famous and making a million dollars every five days. And she was miserable, miserable.

45:36And everybody that worked on her set was miserable. And I just would kind of take that in and go, okay, the world's lying to you. Because if wealth and fame made you happy, she'd be the happiest person on this lot right here, right? And it's weird. Like if you pull up to a store, like I know when I get out to go into a store that I'm going to get stopped and I'll take pictures. But people are always nice. I'm nice to them. They're nice to me. Never told anybody no. But I'm not a big deal. I mean, I'm just not. I'm just, I had a gift that I don't know why I got it. I'm very thankful that I did.

46:16But how can I have an ego about it if I don't know why I can do it, right? I mean, it's like having an ego about the color of your skin. You had no control over that. So why would you have an ego about it? Or having an ego about where you grew up. You didn't have any control over that. Well, we don't have any control over who we were born to. either, right? What kind of family we were born into. It's so important what you just said, brother. And for everyone to make it a personal thing, it's so easy when someone is famous to see their giftedness. Beyonce's ability to sing or dance, or LeBron's 6 '8 and 250 and runs a 4 '4 and can windmill dunk.

47:00Foxworthy's ability to tell a story and make you laugh and connect with you. But what you need to know is you have giftedness as well. Everybody does. Everyone. Yeah. And yours could be your discernment, your humor, your nurturing skills, your intellect, your touch, whatever it might be. And finding that skill, that gift rather, and then finding a way to use it to serve other people. Yeah. You'd be talking just like this guy. I promise you. Whatever that is. Is it teaching? Is it ministering? You know, is it making pottery? whatever it is is it you know it's it's whatever that thing is and that's to me it's like a great formula for for happiness is exactly what you're saying it's just easy to see yours because it's it's probably a little bit unique and more rare than certain other ones right because not everybody can do it on the level that jeff foxworthy can but you all have one i'm just curious thinking of it just made me think of it i got a couple things i want to ask you before we run out of time these grandbabies of yours um i'm looking forward to the day that i have mine i've just got babies but i want to have grandbabies and and uh my dad was a way better granddad than he was a dad like there's just it was just different your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding unconstrained one who navigates life on their own terms effortlessly They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions.

48:36They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. Muteen, the new fragrance by Miu Miu, defined by you. I'm curious. I don't know. It just seemed a little bit different. Most grandparents listening to this, if there are some, would probably say it's just different. If there was like a lesson, I don't mean to be corny, but I'm curious what your answer would be. If there was a lesson from your life you'd want those grandbabies to keep when you're gone of your life or what you'd want to impart onto them or into them, what would it, do you know what it is? What would it be? You know, it'd probably be, and my daughters would tell you this, but we had a little chalkboard on the door to the garage.

49:14And for their entire childhood, the last thing they saw before we got in the car to go to school was, and I had written it in chalk the first day, be kind and try hard. It's like my oldest daughter. She's pretty amazing. My oldest daughter was a homebody. Wouldn't go spend the night with her grandmother that lived a mile away. And one time, a guy in my church called, and he said, we got a group of guys taking their oldest kid to go to Kenya to work in AIDS orphanages. Would Jordan like to go? And I said, no. Jordan, Kenya. Jordan won't spend the night with her grandmother across the street. and I said, Jordy, you want to go to Kenya, work in AIDS?

49:57Yes, yes, yes. And we get over there and spend a week and we're in Kibera, the biggest slum in the world. One square mile fenced in with a million people in it, no electricity, no running water. And Compassion had a thing in there. But we come back from the thing and Jordan says on the way home, she said, Dad, there ought to be something kids could do to help people. And she researched, she found out more kids died of malaria than anything in Africa. She found a place where she could buy malaria nets for 10 bucks apiece. And she started doing bake sales and putting change jars at school and partnering with restaurants for a, she ended up forming a little company called Bite Back.

50:48And she, My shy kid in high school would fly around the country and go speak to youth groups and say, here's what's going on, but we can make a difference. And then she'd come home, and then two or three months later, that group from Colorado would send her a check for$30 ,000 to buy nets with. And somebody one time said to her, they said, well, that's got to be weird. You're in high school, and the other girls are talking about what kind of purse they got or what kind of shoes, and you're out here trying to buy malaria nets. And Jordan said, she said, it's not their fault. She goes, I've just seen something they haven't seen.

51:26But because I've seen it, I have to respond. And to the point that years later, U2 was playing in Atlanta. And I had a lady come get me. Jordan loved U2. And so did I. And the lady said, tapped me on the shoulder. And she said, could y 'all come with me? I said, what's up? She said, Bono wants to meet Jordan. Not Bono wants to meet Jeff. Bono wants to meet Jordan. And he had been following our own line. That's awesome. Yeah. And so now my daughter with two masters works in a homeless mission. You know. You got to be so proud, brother. Yeah. Awesome. So those of you that listen on audio, you should just see his face.

52:16You should see his face. That's my kid. I'm like, man, how did I end up with a kid like this? Well, I think it's actually pretty obvious how you ended up with a kid like this. I really do. Kids, most things with our children are caught, not taught. And they caught a lot from their daddy, for sure. Let me ask you this last, just because, you know, what moved me in our last episode is what I considered to be the depth of your faith. And those are the things that I look at in men in my life that I want in my life that I admire, men that make me want to walk in my faith better than I do. And just when I left, just the conversation with you, I want to be better.

52:56I'd kind of like just leave it open to you for the last question in advance. Thank you for today. Really, I've enjoyed it. I'm so thankful you would have me, especially to talk about stuff like this. This is cool. Yeah. It's cool. Yeah. Well, I'm grateful. And so if someone's listening and they're like, you know, I've been looking for answers in my life too. I've been, you know, looking, there's this whisper in my heart is what I call it where I'm just, you know, they're looking at God. They're looking at making a change in their life. And maybe they got a little bit of doubt or some fear or whatever it would be.

53:31If someone's considering changing their life in that direction, I'm just wondering what your message would be to somebody who came to you. They ran up to you in a Starbucks and said, Mr. Foxworthy, I saw you on my let show. And you talked a lot about faith and that area of my life. I want to step into, I think. What would you say to them if you had a chance to visit with them? Ed, I don't know if you'll agree or disagree. I think the secret to life and for those just listening, I'm holding my hands clenched in a fist. And I open them up. It's letting go. And I will tell myself that if somebody cuts me off in traffic, I'll clench my fist and I'll just sit there in the car and do that.

54:13Just open it and let it go. Let it go. And it's realizing that everything that the world tells you will make you happy, it doesn't.

54:28It doesn't satisfy. It might satisfy for a little bit, but it doesn't satisfy for long. So we get lied to here. And we all want to be in control of our own life. And we're not good at it. We're not good at running our own life. And I tell people, like, if you look around my office, I've got a laptop. I've got this little light here that helps light it up. Somebody thought this laptop out and created it with a purpose. Somebody thought this light out with a purpose. Somebody thought that chair out with a purpose. and why how could you not believe in God when you can look around where you're sitting and everything in there was created with a purpose but if you don't believe in God you think you're an accident you're the most complicated thing in the entire room and you're an accident there's a bigger chance of throwing the parts of a 747 down an escalator and them all coming together and working than us being an accident.

55:30So if it wasn't an accident, I'm not in control. I'm the creative. I'm not the creator. But if I'm the creative, I have a purpose. Everything in the body has a purpose. Like you're talking about, I get seen more. I might be the hand, but trust me, that ligament inside the hand, the hand doesn't work without the ligament. And that's what I think is we're created. I remember being a little kid, Ed, and I gave my life to the Lord when I was seven years old, but I grew up in a strict Southern Baptist church where everybody walked in a super straight, don't drink, don't smile, don't cuss, don't dance, don't, straight line, and it was a dichotomy to me internally because I said, I'm wired like this.

56:22And I'm, for those listening, I'm doing a weaving motion. And I was like, God, I love you, but I can't do that. I can't do that. And it took a long time for him to finally whisper to me, who do you think wired you like that? because I need that in some places. Sometimes I need that straight line. Sometimes I need that wavy line. And so what I found was that like, because I grew up an outdoor, I'm a bow hunter and a fisherman and all that. Well, I could go do a wild game dinner for guys that would never, ever go to a church. They wouldn't go to church to save their life, but they would come to hear me be funny and I could go be funny for 30 or 40 minutes and roll that over into a story about God.

57:14And the response to it was crazy. People that, like, I ain't been to church in 40 years. I got mad at God, but I've never heard it presented like that. And so I thought, okay, so I've taken the gift that the creator gave me. And I always thought laughter was the release valve that kept the boiler from exploding, right? There's a value to it. But I've used it as a way to point back to the creator. And I think that's my purpose. Everybody's purpose is different, but I think that's mine. So good, brother. My word for the year is surrender. That was my word for the year. And that's what you just did with your hands.

58:05And you know what it is? we think we're going to lose something when we do. I know. You think, oh my gosh, I'm giving up control. But the way of God is upside down to the world a lot of times. And instead of losing something, oh my word, is it freeing to go, hey, I don't know what's going to happen here, but you do. And you're in control of all of us. And you say for those that love you, what you've got for us is good. So I'm just going to trust you on that. I don't have to have it all figured out, but you do, you know. Yep. And by the way, go back to the beginning, guys. Just thank you, Dad. Thank you, Daddy.

58:48It's the best visual, best example, best concept ever I've heard. Because it's exactly for me the way that I see my Savior. I love you too. He said it first. He said it first at the cross. So when I think about him, I look up in the morning and go, I love you too. Because he said it first. Come on, you guys. This is so good. That was a quick hour. Man, thank you. What do you want him to go look at? I know you mentioned your podcast. Let's take everybody who's so darn emotional right now and sharing this. This is going to be one of the most shared episodes ever. Where do you want them to find you?

59:28Your podcast? You can find me all over the place. I mean, yeah, if you're interested in comedy, but, you know, you can find me talking about other stuff. And I'm not a genius. I'm blessed, man. I'm grateful and I'm blessed that I've just had such a good life. And hopefully, you know, and I would kind of learn that through the years. Like when we'd go through the hospital up there at Duke and a kid didn't know you were coming and you'd walk in the room and there'd be one of my CDs. or there'd be one of my books and I would realize, oh, this, they're using this as a bomb when I'm not here. There's value to this thing that's laughter.

1:00:15And that made me look deeper at it. So hopefully there's some value to it, right? And hopefully I use it for better things, you know, leverage that platform. Yeah, you are doing that. Today was just a complete blessing. I can't wait to see you on the road. We're speaking together. Yeah, I hope we get to do this because I was looking so forward to doing it in person with you. And then my plane sat on the runway for three hours. By the way, guys, we were supposed to do this in person. I'll tell you all this last. In person, his plane sat on the runway for three hours, 15 minutes from where we were.

1:00:53Yes, I could almost see you and I couldn't get to you. Yes. He got to the town. He just didn't get to the town. So anyway, thank you for today. It was awesome. Oh, man. I look forward to the next time. Thank you, buddy. I actually do, too. We're going to do it again. Thank you, everybody. God bless you. Share this with somebody that you love and care about. Max out. God bless you.

1:01:15This is The Ed Mylan Show.