One High-Stakes Decision Changes Everything | Ep 992

0:00I can drink a bottle of Jack, get in the car, I can change everything with one decision, right? I can make a step to invest in something. I can buy something. I can invest in myself. I can have a terrible conversation with Layla, or I can have an amazing conversation with Layla. But just one decision, and that's always given me power. But the thing is, is that instead of changing our lives, we blame, and when I say blame, I want you to think, give power to sources outside of our control. And this is what you and this is what your prospects and your customers are doing. And this is why so many people are weak and powerless.

0:34And so we're going to do a fun activity today because I want you to be involved so you can learn it. And we're going to do this so that, one, you can help decisions to help yourself with whatever decisions you're facing. Two, you can use these frameworks to help prospects help themselves. And then three, become more powerful. So, but rather than keep this hypothetical, I need you to visualize the decision that you need to make. All right? Can you do that for me? Fantastic. And this is why. I want you to actually think through a decision together, because this is a statement from Confucius. I hear and I forget.

1:04I see and I remember. I do and I understand. So my goal here isn't for you to take screenshots of every picture, or of every slide. That's not my point here, because the thing is, when you do that, and you kind of, I mean, this is why I do it, I take pictures so that I don't have to remember it. But I don't want you to remember it. I want you to understand it. If you understand it, you won't have to go back to your notes, because let's be real, half the time you're not even going to open these notes up again. You're here now with me. Try and understand. If you do that, it can change your life.

1:31Because what we're going to do is not going to be some scripts that you have to understand, but the logic behind the arguments that people will give you as to why they are not choosing to become more powerful. And if you can unlock that, people will feel more powerful talking to you. And they will want to buy from you because of the feeling they have. Does that make sense? And so that's when you're using logic to create an emotion. So here's an easy one for you. Anyone here presented with the decision last 24 hours? Yes. Great. Fantastic. So who thinks the decision could change your life for the better?

2:00Great. For the worse knows. All right, let's go. So here's my goal. I want to show you as though you were prospect, how to think through a decision and help others using these frameworks, right? What you want, what you don't want, maximize the left, minimize the right. So here's what this is translated to. If you decided by the offer, you feel more certain about your decision. If you decided not to buy the offer, you feel fucking certain about the decision. And if you're undecided, you make a fucking decision. All right. And you feel good that it's the one that has the highest likelihood of getting you close to where you want to go.

2:30And this is what we have to walk through with our prospects. When you're looking at them, you have to be like, I don't want you to buy. I want you to decide for you, not for me. I'll be the same either way. Right. You're like, I'm going to be ripped and in shape. It's not going to change me. Right. That's not going to change. But like, it will change for you. Right. So, quick note on sales ethics, and then we'll dive in. Helping someone make a decision to help themselves does not mean buy-in for me. That's a reiteration. You have to keep their goals at the center of the decision. And you should be happy.

2:58I mean this. Because if you can shift this, truly, if you can be happy when someone decides to own the power and not work with you, then the pressure around sales disappears. It evaporates. There's no stake. The stake is, did I help them? Does that make sense? And that means that you can win every sale. because you change the metric you're measuring yourself by. That's the superpower. And that's where you do make the most sales because you don't care about the sale because you care about the person. And the people pay the people who pay the most attention. That's why I call it paying attention.

3:30They pay for it. They pay for you to pay attention rather than talking about yourself, right? Because they don't care about you because they're thinking about 100 other things. And this is why. Most importantly, make high-stakes decisions to help your prospects in order to best serve them. Okay, so I told you earlier I was going to talk about the difference between obstacles and objections. A couple of you guys raised your hands about the differences. I'm not going to ask. I'll tell you what it is. Obstacle is a thing that blocks one's way or prevents or hinders progress. When you disagree with them, that is an obstacle.

4:03This happens before you solicit the sale. Someone says some bullshit before you even get to the sale. That's an obstacle. A simple example I hear all the time. hey, why'd you hop on the call today? Hey, why'd you walk in the gym today? Whatever it is, right? Them. I just wanted to find out a little bit more about the program. First 10 seconds. Obstacle. You're not here to find out more about the program. You're because you're fat. But they got to say it. So you're like, oh, so you're finding out, like, do you do this all the time? Do you go to lots of different programs to find out information?

4:32Or is there a problem you're trying to solve? They're like, oh, well, you know, I'm trying to lose weight. Like, oh, got it. So you're not just hopping on 100 calls a day because I was like, that would be a very weird existence, right? You just hop on for information all day. Ha ha ha ha ha. Great. Fantastic. I've had this conversation before, right? So it's an obstacle, right? And the thing is, it's easy to confront and destroy obstacles before you ask for the sale. Once you've asked for the sale, you switch to objections. Objections is when they disagree with you. So it's much easier to be on the other side, disagreeing and helping them break their beliefs before the stake has been presented.

5:09After you're in the red zone, it's all closing. It's all objection overcomes, right? Example of that is like, I don't want to buy it right now. And you're like, totally understand. What are the main criteria you're thinking through? Which is always funny because people are like, I need to think about it. I've never had someone like leave because they need to think about it. I'm like, cool. What are you thinking about? And they're like, oh, I'm still here. So learning how to talk through these high stakes decisions with yourself or others is the purpose the presentation, and as a result, you'll become more powerful.

5:37Okay, so before I dive into each of these arguments, I have to make this one statement, is that the person must really want the goal and believe three things. One, which will get to it, there we go, the product will get them the goal, comma, the way they want to get there. And I learned that second half the hard way because we found out in gym launch that people would say no sometimes to buying memberships, right or buying challenges or whatever but when we offered them the ability to come back the next day help them for free we'd sell them four hundred dollars of supplements and they just said no to a hundred dollar down service thing i'm like what the fuck it's because they want to lose weight but they want to lose weight their way and so that's when i started learning like oh not only do we have to make sure that they want the goal and they believe that the product's going to get them there it has to get them there the way they want to get there this gives you ammo for the questions that you're going to ask.

6:31Does this make sense? Okay. The second thing is that you and others will support them. Like, are you telling me the truth? Is this really what's going to happen? Will other people around me support this decision? And the third is that it will work for them and not just everyone else. Sure. I've seen the people who step on the stage, but they're different than me. I'm a snowflake. I have metabolic thyroid ketosis, right? Whatever. I have zero influence oliger, whatever. You know what I mean? Like, I have no following this, itis, right? Whatever it is, right? Whatever bullshit you tell yourself.

7:08And what you have to do in this situation is you have to provide proof so that it would be more unreasonable not to believe than to believe. And this is a logical close. This is not an emotional close. This is when you look at someone and say, how many people would you need to see for it to be more unreasonable for you not to believe than to believe? At what point? Is it 10? is it 50 well here's a thousand tell me when to stop okay okay okay great so that's not the real reason and then you can confront the real shit all right so otherwise if they're not sure of those things if they don't actually want to lose weight if you don't actually want to make money doing online fitness then it doesn't matter what jason says you don't want to make money doing online fitness then you're not going to buy right if you do want to make money doing online fitness then you go down the train tracks.

7:55Make sense? Okay. Again, this is why you expect no at first because if people could make the decision, they would have already made it. All right. Now to the main course. Richard Feynman, besides Charlie, one of my favorite thinkers of all time. He was like the second guy on the atom bomb. Sounds negative. Brilliant teacher. He's known for this. Understand, don't memorize. Learn principles, not formulas. And that's what the rest of this presentation is about is the principles behind overcoming these distortions that people have. And so this is me asking you for your own sake. Don't take pictures of the slides.

8:25It's because all the stuff's going to be in the recordings, but you are here now, so be here now, so you can understand it, okay? So there are three sources. This is a huge breakthrough for me, so I'm going to share it with you this first time I've shared a life. There are three sources that we cast our power to, okay? And it took me a very long time to get through this because I looked at Grant, and he had his, you know, you got Stahl, Decision Maker, Money. And you talk to Barry, who owns Sage. She's like, you got time, fit, money, fear, shame. Right? Those are hers. And then Jordan Belfort's got his.

8:57So everybody's got, like, these are the only overcomes. Right? I was like, there has to be an actual truth here. Like, there has to be something that's true that's unquestioned. And so trying to figure this out, I actually went back to Dr. Albert Ellis. Anybody who knew who he is? No one. Great. Who here knows what cognitive behavioral therapy is? CBT? He invented it. Smart dude. And so what he noticed is that he originally had 11 distortions of reality, and he dropped it to 9, then to 7, and then he came to 3. And the 3 stuck. And the 3 are what I'm about to share with you. And you're like, why is he talking about this about sales?

9:34Because the objections that people offer you where they cast their power to are distortions of reality. They are the things we use to upset ourselves. These are the 3. Circumstances, and this is the irrational statement that people make. I must get what I want when I want it. I must not get what I don't want. If I don't get what I want, I can't stand it. That's when people blame their emotional disturbances on circumstances. Two, others. Other people must treat me fairly and kindly and if they don't, they are no good and deserve to be condemned and punished. It's like your animal brain, right?

10:12Three, self. I must do well or else I am no good. These are the three core distortions that upset people. This is like mental illness, right? And so I'm not saying anyone has mental illness if they don't agree with you. It's more so that these are distortions that are not real. And if you can understand, not memorize, if you can understand this, then you can have these high stakes conversations understanding exactly which distortion they're suffering from. And I'll show you how to overcome them. Okay? And so I like to consider the onion of blame. This is one of the bigger breakthroughs I had. They start with the outside.

10:46They blame circumstances, time, money, other shit. And then the step next to that, they start to blame other people, my spouse, my kids, my employees. And then finally they say, it's me. It's my fault. And so you might have to overcome multiple layers as you peel back. And based on the objection they give you, you can know where you're at. You can know how close you are. If someone just says, I have to think about it, then you're like, great. I'm talking to the person who's in power and the decision maker, and I just need to get them to say yes. If they're like, I don't have, they're casting the power away.

11:19And some of you guys are probably casting your power away on decisions you need to make, which is why I'm making this presentation.