benny blanco Isn’t Afraid To Fail (Live)

25:13Gwyneth Paltrow:Like fail how? Give me an example, like in your daily life now, what would be? Something I fail at? Like, I don't, it can be anything. It can be like failing like a friend where I'm like, oh, why did I say that thing? Like that was so stupid. Like, and it's like, and usually when you say that to your friend, you're like, I'm so sorry I said that thing yesterday. They're like, what are you talking about? That's just like our own insecurities. But I'll, but like, yeah, something as simple as that or like something where I'm like, oh, why did, why did I put this song out like that? Or it's like, oh, why did I let this happen in the rollout?

25:48Why didn't I do? and I remember it enough to learn from it the next time to be like okay here's the adjustment I'm gonna make like it's like in golfing I know that when you're like when you're golfing one like minor adjustment can change like your whole swing I don't ask me why I know that but I know but I heard it and and I feel the same way like in things that you're trying to create and do and And I never think that any dream is like stupid. Like I'll do anything, anything that comes to my mind. If it keeps coming to my mind over and over again, I have to pursue it. I just have to do it. And I'm not afraid to, for it to fail.

26:29Like, yeah, there's like tons of things. Okay. First of all, as a musician, I'd say 95 % of the music I make in a year never sees the light of day. Never, ever, ever, ever does not see the light of day. Most of the things, I mean, you were married to a musician. You, I'm sure you've seen this many times. Most of the things I do will never see the light of day. I'm just making aimlessly.

26:54Gwyneth Paltrow:No, Coldplay is just hits, hits, hits. Well, well fuck me. No, so it's like everything, everything I do, I'm just aimlessly throwing things at the wall, praying that something's gonna stick. And I know it will stick eventually. and it's like if I'm making like a cookbook, like it's like I didn't, I didn't know I would ever be able to make a cookbook. I love your cookbook by the way. Thank you. And like you were a big, you were a super big inspiration on making my cookbook. I remember the first, like I got your cookbook and I was like, I was like if Gwennett Palsro could make a cookbook, I can make a cookbook.

27:31She's not a professional chef. Like she's like, and I was like, and I remember tasting the recipes and I was like, these are so good. If I like work and do stuff that's like approachable and I know I have like good taste in things. And I know that it was like, it was a very important moment. And I swear to God, it was a very important moment in my life. I still have the same one from when I was like first learning how to cook. And it has like all the little ear marks in it and like grease stains all over it. And no, I'm serious. It was still the one with the white cover. And I still remember using that to help me be like, okay, well I can start cooking.

28:07And then eventually, if I cook enough, somehow something will happen. I don't know how it's going to happen. At first, I wanted to open a restaurant. And then it moved to this thing and that thing. And then I started having dinners at my house. And randomly, there was like a New York Times article that got published that was talking about these dinners that I had at my house. and then the lady who became my book agent cold called me and came to my house, flew out, came to my house, took a 20 minute meeting with me walking in high heels. And I was like, okay, you're hired. For sure you're hired.

28:43You walked in high heels for 20 minutes. And I knew she was a fighter. And then she got me a cookbook deal and then I made a cookbook. And then when I was making the cookbook, I was like, nobody's going to buy this thing. Well, first in my head, I was like, everyone's going to get this thing. But really, like, I was like, nobody's going to buy this thing. But I like fake the funk until it happened. And then I was like, holy shit. And then before I knew it, I'm like a New York Times bestseller. And like, if I didn't like, just chase that thing, it would have never happened. If I would have quieted that voice in my head, like I just urge everyone, just like that voice in the back of your head is there for a reason.

29:19And you should chase it. And you should try it. And even if it becomes like a hobby that becomes like a lifelong cool thing, or it becomes some sort of thing that lives over there that like you touch on.

29:30Gwyneth Paltrow:It's a real approach. I mean, it's like you've got a real voraciousness about your pursuit of these things. It's just so important. Like I had a talk with my mom one time. I said like, well, why didn't you keep painting? Why didn't you keep modeling? And she was like, well, nobody ever told me to do that. And I didn't think that that was what you did. So I got a job here and I did this. and I can't let that happen for me and I can't let that happen for my children. I can't let that happen for anyone I come in contact with. So every single person I'm saying, do whatever the fuck you want and everybody saying, hating's free.

30:04So people are gonna fucking hate all day long and fuck them.

30:08Gwyneth Paltrow:Where do you think this incredible appetite you have to pursue all of these different things, is there, how do you do that? Do you prioritize? Do you just sort of catch an instinct and follow it. I mean, because you're, I mean, you have a book coming out. You've got your amazing podcast, which I was a guest on. It was very hilarious. Oh, was I not supposed to say anything you want? I don't care. Okay. Fuck it. See? But how do you, how do you do all of these things? I mean, it's kind of extraordinary. Well, I know I'm going to die one day. Okay. Yeah. I know you're going to die. I know we're all going to die.

30:50Okay? How's that for sadness? But what am I going to do, sit there and wait for that day? But I know if I go to bed at night and I know I did everything I could do to have, like, the sickest day possible. And sometimes the sickest day possible is sitting in my underwear and, like, eating ice cream all day. But some days it's going out trying to like start a business, trying to do this, trying to do that. But at the end of the day, if I'm doing what I love every day, and some days you're not doing what you love. Some days it's like the worst thing in the world, you know, and we're doing things we hate.

31:32But if we're constantly pushing ourselves to try to do the best thing that we can do, like that's a day of living. Like, I want to laugh in a day. I'd like to cry of joy, of sadness. Like, I want to have, like, full, I'm a very emotional person. I want to have full range of emotions. And I think taking my life into my own hands, and I'm not, like, one of these kids who, like, came from, like, a billion-dollar family and, like, was able, like, I worked fucking hard. I worked so hard. I know what it is to start from the bottom and I know what it is to be at the at the top of a profession and that's why I made this book because when I was younger I didn't know I didn't come from an area where like everyone was like I couldn't just like phone up someone and be in New York and LA and I grew up in Virginia like there wasn't it wasn't a bustling like like Hollywood scene there.

32:30And, but I, I just, I just used sheer, like sheer will will get you so far in life because so many people, so many people are just like not going to put in the effort. Like they're just not going to do it because either they're programmed to do it or they're scared or they're, they're embarrassed or they're, you know, there's so many failure. you're the reason we don't want to fail is because we're scared to let ourselves down let others down and and it's if you just like throw that out and just be like yeah I'm gonna fail I'm gonna feel so much it's so freeing it's so freeing and not caring what like other people like I don't give a shit what like some person in Wyoming wrote on like my Instagram that what I did sucked Like, okay, cool.

33:17Awesome. Like, like I've never taken the time out of my day to be like, hey, you suck. I'm like a thing. Like, it's like, what are we wasting our time on? But I care about like taking that energy that like I'm wasting on like hating on someone else. Like, you know, we compare ourselves to people so much and like social media and all these things have made it so hard for people to even take those risks even more. So much easier, but also so much harder. I was talking about this the other day. My friend was like, my friend was sitting there with me. He was like, why does my daughter say today is the worst, is the hardest time for a woman to live?

33:51And he was like, I don't understand it. And I said, I said, of course you don't understand it. You're like a bald man. You're a bald white man. I said, I said, of course it's hard for her. And I was rattling off all the things. And, and, and it does make things so much harder, like to, you know, be scared to fail and shape. Like it's so scary to put yourself out there. but if you do you have nothing to lose you don't have anything to lose like just do it i know it's so scary to start doing it but like once you jump off it like you never turn back like i mean i do

34:22Gwyneth Paltrow:think going back to what you were saying about the the young girl or the woman saying it was hard in this era i i do think that i'm trying to navigate you know where when i grew up it was like you could like make out with leonardo dicaprio in a bar and no one would know that didn't happen but like in 1990 whatever like you could you know there was so much privacy there were no phones obviously there were no cameras um and I do think and I see with my daughter and my and my kids friends you know the the ruthlessness and and and the hate that's out there and and on the internet and that if you're if you're still if they're the permeability is there it's it it must be really brutal to be growing up in this age.

35:08Gwyneth Paltrow:But you know, you've done this thing where you've kind of like turned it on its head. And I feel I look up to you so much in the way that you have mastery over this social media stuff. You got to tell me, like, is that strategic? Is it, are you just kind of doing what you think is fun and funny? Are you, and what is the purpose of it? Is it, is it marketing? Is it, you know, album sales? Um, well, I think I just don't care. First of all, like, I don't care. I don't care. Like, you know who I, you know what I care? I care if like, if my friends were to write me a thing that was like, Hey, like, Ooh, that post was bad.

35:49I'd be like, what? But like, if it's like somebody who's never met me, it's like, you know, nothing about like, I can't take anything you say seriously because you've never even met me. Like it's so, So that's instantly out the window. So it's like, okay, next. And then I think my mom did an incredible job raising me and giving me comments. Where is she? She's in the audience right now. She's so cool. Raise your hand. There she is. Yeah, I think being raised with, like, effeminate energy, I think, made me, like, way more sensitive to certain things. that like I shouldn't I'm like a little bit overly sensitive to stuff like that but I think it gave me um a unique perspective on like how to navigate life and how to navigate relation not just like female was your dad not around my my my parents divorced when I was pretty young and I lived with my mom and they were at like the most like formative it was like right before I'm like going through puberty.

36:55And then like, so I'm like having to like ask my mom all these questions. And, um, and, uh, are my balls supposed to be this high? Yeah. I'm like, mom, what's going on? You know, and, and no, and I, you know, I was, and I think at that time, my mom was also just like struggling, trying to like, you know, trying to start a new relationship. She worked in a different state. Like it was like she, you know, it was hard and I felt like it helped me grow up a lot. And so she gave me so much confidence. So like first I like got a lot of confidence. And, um, then also when I, I, I spent, you know, 15 years behind the scenes watching all these artists go through the rise of social media and like watching it tear them down and like watching like some of my friends that are female artists like like have to take their internet off their phone because there was like a picture of them at the beach when they were like bending over and like being on like the side of it now like with you know really living with the person you know i'm i'm i live with i live with my wife no but i you know seeing you know she's under so much like nitpicking at all times everything she does if she you know and everything we do and it's like so there's no time we don't have time to to have that be a concern in our life it's like there's

38:28Gwyneth Paltrow:no but how do you keep it out because right we're all human and it you know i mean at this point i'm pretty impervious but even still sometimes i don't read anything i'm not like a person like I'm like, I'm trying to be present. Like when I'm with my friends, like I'm like, we're like having a fun time. I'm not like looking at what's happened. I don't even know which one, is page six still a thing? I'm not like looking at page six.

38:58But when something does happen, like a few weeks ago, I was like, I forgot. I was like on the phone with like my publicist for something. and then like it got brought up. It was like, it was like, oh yeah, you guys are getting a divorce. And then I'll call something up. I'll be like, babe, I'm sorry, we're divorcing. And I'll be like, and I'll be like, well, that's what it says online. We have to be divorcing. No, so we're like, so like we'll make a joke if we do come across something. But no, for like -

39:30Gwyneth Paltrow:Yeah, and you guys use social sometimes to like post-part. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's hilarious. Like it's, I mean, she's my best friend. So we're just like, like everything's, you know, and when I go online and I like post stuff online I'm like yeah it's like okay I'm gonna put out a cookbook what's a cool way to promote it I love cooking why don't I like all those people I know we're all like scrolling looking at like food Instagrams I'm like why don't I go and cook with all my favorite people so then I decided to do that and I started doing that I guess before everyone started doing it.

40:08I just was doing it because I was like, well, I'm putting out a cookbook. I love cooking. These people cook. They put out videos. I don't want to do a video where I'm like doing a dance routine. I'm not going to do that. And I'm like, so how can I be myself? So you're never going to see me do something on social media that's not myself. Like I can't not be myself. And that's also like anyone doing stuff, trying to put yourself out there, like be yourself everyone else is taken like just like you're you're you and if people don't like you for you fuck them um how do you get these ideas for these cooking videos for example

40:48Gwyneth Paltrow:what did i do you took a leftover bag of in and out cheeseburgers and you made it into quesadillas yeah that was great um and you when you ate it it looked like it was really good it was delicious delicious my you got a spicy pepper out of yeah yeah yeah i had a little pepper my my my mother would love you because leftovers are her favorite thing in the world i was raised by the leftover my my mother is the michael jordan of leftovers we we are we are if there's leftovers they are if they start on monday they are we're there's something there's some mutation of what it once was on Friday. Like, it's like, yeah, like my mom, I grew up in a leftovers home.

41:39There was, and I can usually, I like judge people. It's the one time I like really, if like someone, if like the food is finished, we're at a restaurant and like, there's like, no one's taking the leftovers. I'm like, and then I'm like, we'll box that up. Like, it's like, like, we're taking whatever's not nailed down. Like, um, even, even like my mom surprised me. I'm like, Mom, come on, you can't take, there's one bite. She's like, I can put it on this. And so leftovers are in our house a lot. My wife has the diet of like, if your child is having like a five-year-old birthday party, that's like her death row meal.

42:20So she's like, yeah, like burgers and fries, Like whatever, whatever you is bad for your diet, she is doing and somehow having like glass skin. And I'm like, how, what? This is not Goop approved at all. I know, I know. No, I will tell you, the one healthy thing I can get her to eat is Goop. I also, my friend, before my friend was on the phone, I was on FaceTime with a friend and he said, what are you doing? And I said, I'm doing this like a Goop podcast. And he said, Goop Kitchen podcast? Like he doesn't know anything. He doesn't even know you have anything to do with Goop. He's like, Goop Kitchen podcast?

43:00And I said, yeah. And he goes, are you going to be with the owner? And I said, yeah. And he goes, tell him. He's like young. He's like, tell him that the pizza fucking slaps. That's what he said. And then I was like, I was like, okay. And then he was like, it's the best pizza I've ever had. He was like, I don't even care if it's healthy. It's the best pizza I've ever tasted. I will tell you, it is some of my favorite pizza. And I only want New York pizza. It is some of my favorite pizza. I know. I don't even want to know. Don't start posting like the calories and stuff because I know it's not too healthy, but it's healthy enough.

43:35That's all I want to know. Okay. It's healthy enough. And it's funny because I always, I'll quiz, I'll quiz Brad and I'll be like, okay. He works out at the gym with my husband. Yeah, I work out with her husband and he's like, looks so much better than me. It's crazy. like and he always takes a shower because he has like a meeting after and like right before he's taking the shower he'll like maybe he'll just have like a towel around his like thing and he's got like this guy's got like a 40 pack he looks insane he looks like the hulk and and and i'm like and i'll say like what did you eat like and i'm just like oh if i eat exactly what he eats i'll look like him and i'm like what did you eat he's like i've been working out for like 30 years and i'm like, okay.

44:18And I'm like, but really what's healthy at goop? And he'll like tell me like the healthiest thing. And I'm like, okay, I'm ordering that. And I'll just, but Selena, what she will do is she'll get the Chinese chicken salad and she really doesn't like fruits or vegetables. So she, she eats everything on top of the salad and then she leaves the lettuce. And then I'm like the little rabbit that comes by and eats the leftovers.

44:42Gwyneth Paltrow:What are you going to make out of those leftovers? The lettuce? There's none. There can't be leftovers. The only, actually, you know what I did one time? I will tell you. And if you ever put this on your menu, I'll sue you. Okay. I had the pizza. And me, like other people, yeah, sometimes I leave the pizza out all night. Sometimes I do. And it still tastes delicious the next day. And I don't care what anyone says. I don't care. I left a cheese pizza out the other day. And I was eating healthy. next day so I was like okay I gotta eat healthy I was making my salad and I took a slice of the pizza and I cut it up and I put it in the oven and then I turned it into like these little croutons so I like I took a slice of pizza I had a huge salad then I just had this like little naughty section and I had this and it was just like and it was like every bite there was like a little teeny bit of I was like ooh like it was like it was like just enough it was just enough I want to eat healthy but I want just enough shit to make me feel like I want it to be just bad enough and I feel like that's what goop is it's delicious you feel so good about yourself after you eat it you're like I ate all my stuff but it's like just enough bad like there's just enough like I'm like the flavor yeah I'm like this sauce tastes like a little too good like so I'm stoked on goop thank Thank you.

46:08Gwyneth Paltrow:Okay. We're, I can't believe it, but we're out of time. So I'm going to ask you, can you believe that? We talked about goop for 30 minutes. It's good for the goop podcast. I know. All right. You got another question? They're just rapid fire. Oh shit. Okay. Okay. Ready? First thing you do when you wake up? Poop immediately. Immediately. I don't drink caffeine. So I guess some, I have no idea. I I don't know. It happens immediately. Within 15 seconds. Okay. I guess I'm healthy from goo. Very. Last thing you Googled. I don't know where my phone is. Is my phone? Will you pass me? Okay, while you're passing it.

46:50Gwyneth Paltrow:Hold on. Okay. Okay, we're about to look. Google, it's just when you put it in the top of the bar, right? Yeah. Okay. Wow, that phone case is really on brand in this wonderful way. The last thing I actually Googled, because I was in a debate with someone, is most satiating foods. And I was right. What were they? Like healthy and satiating. They say a potato is the healthiest. First of all, potatoes were getting painted in the 90s. They were telling us they were bad for you. Potatoes are the best thing for you. It's better. It's the best carbohydrate you can have in the world. Look it up when you get home.

47:32Gwyneth Paltrow:Is there one artist that you have not produced that you would like to produce? No, I'm just like a, if they come, they come. I like to let things happen naturally. I guess like if he was alive, Prince. But then I wouldn't even want to work with him because like I don't want to be the guy that made the shitty Prince song. So, yeah. Okay. And what is Selena's best quality? Oh, my God. She's got too many. Can I say a few? Yes. Her ability to, no matter what, make me feel better in any situation. Like she's like truly a rock star at making me, and I think we are this to each other. There's no competition.

48:19Like I've, I've been dating people before where there's like a competition and it's like, what, we're not like in the, we're the same team. We're not racing against each other. And she's can, she makes me feel like I can do anything in the world. Like she makes me feel like anything is possible. And she's like, and if I can't do it, she's going to help me get there and vice versa. That's like my one thing that's amazing. Another thing is that, um, she truly, and I've said this about people before in my life, but hers is so different. She truly has, I think one of the kindest hearts of any human being.

49:00Like she, I don't think she's ever meant to do, of course she's probably done something wrong a bunch of times, but like she's never meant, I don't think there's ever been a malicious bone in her body. And I think her ability to listen to people, like she'll, we were, we were out the other day. Okay. We're sitting there and There's two times. We were out. And she walked into a convenience store, just like a bodega. And this girl was there. And she lost her mind. And Selena took out her actual rare beauty products from her purse. And the girl was like, oh, we don't have that much money. And I always try to get on the mailing list, but I don't have any followers.

49:52And Selena took out all of her current makeup, gave it to the girl, sat there and talked to her, got her information. Now she's on the gifting as if she was a big influencer. So she did that. Another time, we're at a bowling alley, and this old lady comes up like a grandma, and she's crying. And she's just like, you are such an important role in my family's life. And she brings over her daughter. And then her daughter's crying. And she's saying, you were so important to me growing up. Then she brings over her daughter. And she's crying. So it's the generations. And she sat and she talked with these people for so long.

50:39And we had to leave. We really had to leave. And she's like, she will stop the world to make somebody feel good.

50:47Gwyneth Paltrow:That's beautiful. A lot of people don't do that. A lot of people, like, a lot of people just would never think. Like, she's always thinking, like, how can I make someone else's day better? And I try to live that way as well. So it's like for to be with someone who does that and just like, yeah, just to see her heart. Just like, I mean, I could ramble all day about her. Like, she's like truly my soulmate. I love it. So sweet. Are we done? We're done. You guys see we've gone over. What's that mean? That means that the clock is going up instead of down. Please leave the stage. I'm Benny. Benny. Thank you so so much for joining me today.

51:28Gwyneth Paltrow:It's been such an absolute pleasure to be with you. And I think Selena deserves you as much as you deserve her. And I mean your career it couldn't have happened to a nicer or better person really. Before we stop, can I do one thing? Yeah. Okay, give me that thing you just asked me. Give me that. Okay. What's the first thing you do when you wake up? I want to know. Don't we want to know a little bit? Okay, what's the first thing you do when you wake up? Fuck the timer. Take off my mouth tape. Your mouth? You have mouth tape? Every night. No. No. That's crazy. Yeah. Okay. What's the last thing you Googled?

52:04I don't have my phone, but probably, you know, I'm sort of clotting a lot of food stuff, recipe stuff.

52:13Gwyneth Paltrow:Like if I were to do this at 425 instead of 375, what would the outcome be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and now I'm going to another one on the list. Okay. What would you order at 2 a.m.? And it can't be Goop because Goop's not open at 2 a.m. True. I would order probably, I mean, what is open at 2 a.m.? You don't even know. You'd probably go downstairs and like make a frittata and make a video and somehow look beautiful doing it. Like, I always wonder, I'm like, is she getting like made up before these every time? Do you have like some sort of filter on it? Are you kidding? Yeah, you look so good.

52:47And then you're like, make it like every day. You're like, you're like working so hard and making all these videos. And it like looks, I'm like, damn. I'm like, can we come over and be Brad's friends and like sit over there?

52:59Gwyneth Paltrow:Definitely. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. That was amazing. You're amazing. Thank you, everyone.