Kate Hudson on Betting on Yourself

0:02When you are pioneering anything or introducing new ideas to the culture, you get criticized. You do? Yeah. Did you hear about that? I didn't find the one. I found someone I respected and we made it the one. In a sort of longing kind of view of love, people understand each other as if by magic. Nothing in itself is addictive on the one hand. On the other hand, everything could be addictive if there's an emptiness in that person that needs to be filled. I now know that nobody changes until they change their energy. And when you change your energy, you change your life. I'm Gwyneth Paltrow. This is the Goop Podcast, bringing together thought leaders, culture changers, creatives, founders, and CEOs, scientists, doctors, healers, and seekers, here to start conversations, because simply asking questions and listening has the power to change the way we see the world.

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1:07Today, I'm talking to my old dear friend, Kate Hudson. Kate has many creative talents and in the past decade has stepped up into being an entrepreneur. She is an author, host of a podcast called Sibling Revelry, which she does with her hilarious brother, and founder of some amazing brands across many different categories. Her most recent business is In Bloom, a line of plant-based nutritional powders. I think we could all use and assist in that department right now. Kate and I sat down while on opposite coasts to talk about what we often do when we get together, culture, health, the importance of having energetic support in our lives.

1:49And then I finally got to the point where I was like, if I don't access the fact that I've experienced trauma in my life, then I'll never be able to heal what it is. And I have to not be apologetic about the fact that, you know, I am suffering in a sense and it's mine and it's my own and I have to deal with it.

2:13So let's get to my chat with Kate Hudson. So one thing I was thinking about that I found really interesting and also something, so one of the things that I love the most about you and like what makes me feel so inspired is your incredible ability to be in the present. And I think therefore, intrinsically, you are usually, and we've been through some rough moments in our lives in parallel, but usually you are really a happy person. And your baseline is high, especially for someone who you know grew up with this you know life that you did and with fame which I think is so toxic and destabilizing and bad for all of us but you seem to sort of have this buoyancy and so first I want to ask you do you feel that it's a pursuit like do you agree that you're happy relative to other people do is it a pursuit or is it something that you strive for and therefore or are like making up a delta, and then you bring and cultivate happiness in?

3:32I mean, I think it's a little bit of both. My mom, I remember my mom telling me one time she was reading this book, and then I think it was The Female Brain. Remember The Female Brain? I never read that one, actually. Well, one of the things that they talk about is that there actually is an optimistic gene that some people's brains are more predisposed to optimism than others. you know, and we know that our brains are not optimistic muscles. They're constantly reactive and ready to move in more kind of protective ways. And some people are more predisposed to being optimistic. I think I might have gotten that kind of gene because it's not hard for me in challenging moments or very down moments to see the light on the other side.

4:31And I think that also it might just be the programming. Like I think from a young age, because my mom, as much as people see what she is, she's very complex. I mean, she's not just this like happy tap dancey, you know, and we know this, we talk about this all the time. I mean, my mom is complex. You don't get to where she got to without having, what is it called? Kushkas. What is it? I love to go Yiddish on us. But mom was always super honest about how to find joy and how challenging life had been for her at times and how she was able to cultivate it. And I think it was almost like something that I knew was something you have to work on.

5:24And also think it's like a concoction of things, right? I always danced. I was always active. I never really didn't eat. You know, I ate what was fed to me, which was usually predominantly healthy foods, right? So even though I wasn't thinking about the importance of those things and how they affect our brain and our joy and how we see the world, you know, I didn't know, but I was getting good stuff. And then I think I also grew up knowing that we need to talk it out, that when something is troubling or when something's affecting you, that being open and talking about it and transparent about it and not hiding it is important.

6:08So I guess in short, the answer is, I think I'm predisposed to being pretty happy. And I think that I was given some good tools. That being said, when I started, I think when I started, I think everybody has like a moment in their life where they're like, Ooh, this is, this could go either way. This could really start to go in a direction where I'm not very happy and I'm finding myself in a big rut and it could be destructive or you start to reach for things that are a little bit more challenging. And I think I hit that around 30, I'd say 34. And you're not like the jumpy kid anymore. Your career is either what it is or it's, you know, you're more solidified, I think, as an adult and who you've become.

7:00And it sort of hits you like, okay, well, at least for me, that was the time I was like, I need to make some serious pattern life changes or this could go in a different direction. And I think when I did that, then I really started to feel freedom, which to me is what happiness really is. What were those signs that you were, you know, that you saw or the things that you were feeling that led you or that really catalyzed you to become conscious and go, no, I'm going to go this way. Like, tell me about that time. Oh, I mean, I think relationships. I mean, for me, that was my career, my life, my personal goals.

7:47I move and I go and I get, I go after it. Right. It's my relationships that have always been my challenge and walking the line of, you know, whether it be my choices, whether it be what I'm bringing to the party and what I need to see and look at and what I've needed from them. And I think that that particular time, it was like, I don't want to make the same. It was the time that I took responsibility for what I brought to it, to the party and was like, if I don't shift this, you know, I, it's like, you know, when you hear a girlfriend always talking about what's wrong with their partner, what they're doing wrong and the problem with this person and that person and this person, after a while, you're like, the only fucking common denominator here is you, right?

8:46So like, how about you what are you doing that's creating this story for you in your life and I realized I just kept telling my I kept creating the same it was like watching the same sitcom episode over and over and over again and that I was the only one who could like dig deep and and shift it what was replaying over and over. Was I replaying? Yeah. Oh my God. I mean, how long do we have? You know, I think for me it was, I mean, clearly a lot of dad stuff, you know, Bill, my dad, bless him and I love him dearly, but he was a pretty absent shitty dad and I needed him and I didn't have him. And I think that I, you know, I was lucky enough to have Kurt, but that absence and my, how I, how it manifested in me, that loss or that neglect sort of manifested through my relationships or my, the things that I needed validated or all of these things that I think are really relatable to a lot of people.

9:56The way you were choosing, was part of it that you were choosing men who had that kind of abandoning tendency? Like who couldn't show up or be intimate? I wish it was that simple. But I actually think it was me. You know, I think I was really choosing the path to be abandoned or to abandon. Right. I really believe in taking responsibility for your own shit. At some point you have to look at it and go, okay, why do, why am I always finding myself in the same spot? Like it's gotta be what I'm, what I'm doing.

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11:47What would you say to somebody who might be in that place? It's difficult sometimes to make the leap between recognizing that and then actually taking the steps to start unwinding and unpacking some of that and starting to make better choices. So how did you start to do that? Okay. How did one do that? I think the first thing is, is you have to allow yourself, like for me, and I think it's different for everybody, you know, in my mind, for me personally, it was like, I'm so lucky. I've been blessed into a life of luck. Who am I to struggle and to go through all this pain? And I'm fine. I get it.

12:32Right. That was my block. And then I finally got to the point where I was like, if I don't access the fact that I've experienced trauma in my life, then I'll never be able to heal what it is. And I have to not be apologetic about the fact that, you know, I am suffering in a sense and it's mine and it's my own. And I have to, I have to deal with that. So I think the first step is to allow yourself the opportunity to be okay, knowing that you might not, you know, you've got things that you can work on, you know, and that it's okay way to have experienced trauma that you need to address. That's number one.

13:16And then I think that the next part of it is sticking with, I always like the quote that contentment is a discipline and whatever it is that you're choosing to do, you know, the therapeutic way with a psychologist or a life coach or a guru or your, you know, pastor, whatever it is, the, you know, whoever you're leaning into that you're disciplined about it and that you stay with it. And that when it gets hard and you feel uncomfortable, that that's when the good work is actually like getting done. And then I always, sometimes like, if things just get a little like too weird and heavy, I'm just like, you know what, like stop, don't put so much pressure on yourself.

13:59It's like one foot in front of the other. Just do the things that you know are like good and are feeding you your soul and are accessing things that might be hard, but like, it's like, don't carry the, the whole world on your shoulder. It's not, you know? Yeah. I think it's hard to do good work. You know, we all know that it's not fun to have to go through and, and kind of like work through pain. It just sucks. It's so much more, it feels like it's easier to avoid it, but we know that, you know, the more you avoid it, the worse it festers, right? And then it festers in disease and stress and, you know, we get, you know, people get ulcers and their hair starts falling out.

14:43It's true. I think, well, Western cultures aren't very good at processing through stuff as it happens or like, certainly, you know, I don't think we were when we were little taught like, oh, you feel terribly upset about something. Let's just sit here and cry. Let's just cry. It's like, no, you're fine. And it's going to be okay. And let's fix this. And so I don't know. I think we're not given that kind of vernacular where it's like, feel your feelings. And then you're right. You grow up and you have all these coping mechanisms and we're stuffing all this stuff down and then it comes out sideways.

15:23Yeah, you know what? I was actually talking with someone today about perspective and that's another part of it. There is a philosophical aspect to it, which is that sometimes like, are you fucked or is it just your perspective? You know, we can shift the way we see the things and how we respond to them. Absolutely. Now you're in a fantastic relationship. I am. with the greatest guy. He's the sweetest. How did you manifest and how do you maintain a healthy relationship? I just try to wake up when I wake up in the morning, I think about purpose. What is the purpose behind the day? And what that, for me, what I mean is it's not just one thing.

16:14It's like how I interact with my children or how I'm going to communicate with Danny. what do I want to get out of it? You know, and I think so many times you find yourself in little bickering arguments or things that can kind of chip away when, you know, people call it the love cup and, or, you know, or empty the love cup. And I think it's when you speak with purpose or you communicate purposely with your partner that you're mindful of, you know, what you're getting out of it, where you're at. I mean, the other day I was getting my period. I was so aggravated. I literally woke up. I was like, I'm, I know today I'm going to kill somebody.

16:56Someone's going to get it. I don't know who, but I can feel it. And I knew it. And like the harvest moon is an Aries. I'm an Aries. I was about to like unload my feminine nitty everywhere. I was like, this is going to be a disaster. And it was, but I warned everybody. So I kind of came downstairs. I was like, guys, mommy's, I have zero tolerance in my tank today. So I just want to say that if I snap, if I feel agitated, I'm having a hard time, which is so nice. It sets everybody up, especially the kids. It sets them up with like a context where then there's safety inbuilt in that right because they know it's temporary they know you're self aware they know it's not scary that's very that's really good parenting how is it that oh my god first of all I can't handle Ronnie I can't take it she's the cutest thing on the planet she's so verbal kill myself she is so verbal it's crazy she I can't take it I mean and she's like changed my life I mean all my kids changed my life but I don't know if it's my age or it's a she's a girl too girl I yeah I just I can't the connection is different I mean she sits on me first of all she doesn't let me have anything to myself already.

18:30I'm eating food. She eats it. I have a drink. She takes it. Like my, I'm putting my makeup on. It's out of my hand. And once I like already, I'm like, Oh, this is totally, you know, there's a, such a different recognition. Yeah. It's funny with girls too. You know, I remember cause obviously I had Apple first and then Mosey. And it's, it is so different, like the boy and mom and the girl and mom thing. But a lot of mothers I've, you know, who were sort of my generation or older than me were like, oh, you know, girls and it can be tricky. And it's like, I am in heaven. She's 16 and I'm in heaven.

19:11I feel really lucky in that respect. And I feel like I see with you and Ronnie, that little kinship. And it's so sweet to see it. It's already there, you know? And the thing is, I think, I don't know what that is. It must be age. It must be, you know, this, I think we're just becoming more aware of tendencies. You know, it's like, I know that the complication of the female relationship, the mother-daughter relationship is usually has to do with like identifying with each other, the mother identifying with her younger self and, you know, all of that psych, you know, psych 101 jargon. Right. But I feel like at this point now we are so aware, women are so aware or maybe have experienced it themselves that you just want to, you just want them like i want her to just fly and i just want to watch my kids like let i want to watch them in when they're my age in in that moment you know and like sit back and revel in them and yeah who's that dog gaucho this is the rescue gaucho hey not leave my side because you're so happy because she got you he has really bad breath oh my god when did you get gaucho i got him a year ago at the society in santa barbara cute you haven't met him in person that's impossible i'm i don't think so which is weird but well i haven't seen you since freaking lockdown.

21:03I know. Which is already seven months. So crazy.

21:14So I want to ask you about your businesses and your entrepreneurial spirit and how that, how you started to, yes, queen.

21:31How did you start to notice that was a part of you? And how did you decide what road you wanted to take? So, you know, what's really interesting about this? I never really thought about it until like people started asking me questions about business like you know business and I honestly think that the light bulb started to go off younger because of Kurt. Kurt has always been a very tough negotiator in his own business and Kurt has a lot of really interesting theories some of which I agree with some of which I don't as most fathers, as most people have with their fathers. But one of them I liked was he was like, you know what, if I could bet on myself, I'd bet on myself.

22:24And I thought, that's an interesting, you know, we, as actors, you sort of, you're always feel kind of, you're just a hired gun, right? And we negotiate what we can, because we can sell this movie. And this is obviously that's in success. But, you know, in the beginning, you just do whatever the fuck comes your way, because you're excited to get work. Then you have a platform and an opportunity and you kind of started having people, you know, the endorsement game. And I remember like earlier on, I always would wonder like if they're willing to pay, say, you know, David Beckham X amount of millions of dollars to promote their product, you know, that means that what he, the value he's bringing is far more than that millions of dollars if he bet on himself.

23:17And I liked that idea, right? Cause it gave me, it makes me feel like I'm a little bit more in control of the things that I want to bet on. And then honestly, it also came down to, I have a hard time selling things I'm not really passionate about. And when you have an opportunity to people coming to you immediately, you're like, okay, wait, let's marry this so that I can really feel good about the things that I'm doing and take this opportunity and maybe put some good stuff out into the world and have some ability to mold it into the types of businesses that I'd like to see out there in the world.

24:01And that's really where it started. Cause when I went started and signed on with Fabletics and co-founded that with my partners. I was like, it wasn't something that many people had really done, especially Fabletics, which was sort of like a, you know, it was, I mean, we were looking at a flexible subscription model and we were looking at clothes at a, you know, hopefully a high quality with a low price point. It wasn't exactly like a popular thing for, you know, a movie star to be doing. And I took kind of a chance on it because it felt like it could be something that people would need and that could be inspirational.

24:47And it worked. And then here we are, you know, today. And then the learning curve happens. Like, you know, because you started from ground up and you're, you're so different than me because you, I mean, And I watched it, you know, you had your concept and it started with, and I remember you saying, you know, you can't just have a brand. You have to live and be your brand. You have to create trust. You are where you're at today because one, you're a smart businesswoman, but two, you were passionate about the things that you wanted to give back. You had all this access and you were like, why am I not cultivating a place where women and men can go to find all the great things that I'm able to access and talk about interesting, provocative ideas and products?

25:41And you did it. And for me, it was like, okay, I felt like I love being active. I want to reach people. I'm passionate about healthy lifestyle. there's a real wellness theme that you have like in it's not called weight watchers anymore what's it called a ww that what's it stand for though it's weight watchers it's wellness that works but it's weight watchers it's just ww it's ww reimagined like how did you get involved with that that seems to me even more risky than like a fabletics thing that you're co-founding because it's this established brand and like you, you helped rebrand it, but at the time it was like, not as cool.

26:27Not cool. Yeah. I have a, I have a tendency to like ideas that aren't necessarily cool, but that I know can really reach a lot of people. And to me, WW. So, well, first I also love strong interesting passionate women and that partnership started first and foremost with oprah and mindy grossman who are yeah and and mindy is just i mean she's the greatest and she's so passionate about ww and when she came to me and talked about the rebranding I realized I knew nothing about it and then when I started looking into it I was like you know what this is fucking brilliant one of my friends what after you signed on was like oh I'm gonna try to do this one of my school mom friends and she would be like I'm gonna have this it's two points you know whatever my glass I'd be like you like Kate Hudson don't you she's like the thing is it works.

27:36I also think, you know, the other thing, and Gwen, we know this, we're very disciplined people, but when we put our mind to something, like we know the protocol, we know how to get there. We're passionate about food. We understand it, cleansing, like we know what to do. It's so hard to create that kind of discipline as an individual, you know and I think that if it's your nature that's great but that's not most people what you need to talk about is the need for support because I think so many people don't realize that having a support system helps so much yeah the support system is huge and also I don't know having that rubric to follow like whether it's WW or Prolon or whatever you're doing like you know even I I need to follow a program if I'm going to be you know because you know me I'm if I'm on the program I am on and nothing will derail me and I'm going to finish it and if I'm off I am off I'm like yeah teenies and you know disaster but I think what people really need is the motivation first to feel like they can do it and then the support to know that if they like fall off that it's okay that they can just get back on again.

28:52And so WW to me is like the perfect place for people to go that don't understand food, even if they do understand it, but that really need just like, you know what? I need the check-in thing. I need the companion where I can go.

29:14so tell me about in bloom which is so cool i i just tried it yet yes i just tried it it is delicious what did you try vanilla you did the protein vanilla protein okay okay well i want to ask you, like, what do I do with the other ones? Because this is part of what I wanted to ask you, because there's all these fantastic potions I'm like to eat. First of all, why do you decide you want to do it? It's all whole foods, which is incredible, right? There's nothing, there's no protein isolate. There's no synthetics. We, it's all plant-based. We use very small amounts of filler. You know, what's been great about this.

29:58Okay. So let's start from the beginning was, is, you know, when you're, and you've got this sort of lucky kind of umbrella that you've created, so you can do all kinds of your fun, favorite things inside of it. And for me, it's like, if someone says, Oh, will you come do a beauty products or you want to come do makeup? Or do you want to do this or supplements or whatever? You know, you have people that would like you to do, to work with them. And for me, it was like, I wanted to get into beauty, but it just didn't make sense for me to get into beauty in any place, but starting from internally.

30:35Right. Right. And I just wanted to go through what my, I wanted to do what I would want. And my thing is, is I have a really hard, I do have some pills that I take. I have a really hard time swallowing pills. I find that when I have to take so many pills that I end up not taking them as, as much as I do a powder. So like collagens, I'd always take, it was easier. If I had iron that was liquid, I'd take it, you know? So I wanted to create a system that was more, that was a good kind of powders and that will be more liquids. And then the things that need to be encapsulated in like a gel, like we're doing a probiotic, that's much better in a capsule.

31:19So I, you know, you want it to be its efficacy to be the, you know, solid. So, so that's the first thing. And then I wanted to create a system that kind of hit on the basics. So you have your essential, which would be your daily, which is your vitamin. But do I put that in with the, so that's part of the fun of what we can do is that you can do anything you want with it. You can have it with that alone with water and just down it. I mix all of them all the time. So like my daily that I do every morning is my daily vitamin and my beauty aura. And I put some lime in it and cold water, maybe a little pure cranberries or just water.