Reflections on Marriage, Stunts, and Dim Sum (with Michelle Yeoh)

28:43It becomes superficial. I mean, you become strangers and you wonder why you drift apart because you don't share in life. You don't share in conversation. You don't know what the other person is up to. I love my space. I love to be, it's like Jean and I have a really, really good relationship. And you just got married, right? No, after 19 years. After 19 years. I'm going to ask you about that too. I was like, what are we thinking? But your first, how old were you when you were first married, your first marriage? I was 28. Oh, you were 28. So I was old enough, you know, because my mom was married when she was 21, 20.

29:19So even at that stage, we were encouraged to get married in your 20s, you know, to find the right guy, to settle down. I mean, that was my mom's biggest wish for me as well. And I think a lot of the times that her generation of mothers have that wish for their daughters to find a good man, you know, to be able to settle down and be well taken care of. Of course. Yeah. That sounds pretty good to me right about now. I gotta tell you. But I tell you now. Because then you lose your sense of freedom. Right. You don't have your independence, right? You're always depending on him to tell you what's the right thing to do, where to go, what, you know.

30:00It's true. And then your life is dictated by the whole system. Were you sad that you didn't end up having children in your first marriage? Oh, yes. I mean, still sad. I mean, I love kids. That's one of the biggest joy in anybody's life. But it is what it is, right? I mean, it wasn't for the lack of trying. We did whatever it was necessary to try. And unfortunately, physically, I was unable to. And I felt at that point, again, it was really my choice as well because I knew my ex really wanted a big family, not just one son, but two sons or three even better because he was working hard for a big empire and he needed sons to carry his lineage.

30:53So I was looking at myself going like, oh, God, 10 years down the road, you can't even have one. What are we going to do? That would be too late, right? Is that why you parted, really? That's one of the main reasons, because I think that's tough on any. And I think sometimes, on hindsight now, I think it was a smart thing for me to do, to be able to step away and not pretend that it will work out. Yes, we did love each other, but then it doesn't get better. because, you know, there are expectations. So it was a tough, tough thing. And I guess that's one of the reasons why we are still good friends today.

31:35That's great. His eldest daughter is my first godchild. Oh, that's so sweet. His first ex-wife and I are like, we call each other. We go on holidays with each other. When she was the YPO, I would be her plus one. That's amazing. Yeah. I think it's moving forward. It's accepting and letting go. It's all the same thing. So it was tough. But now I'm very blessed because now all my friends throw their kids at me. So I have six godchildren. That says a lot about you, Michelle, you know? I mean, to be made godmother that many times, I think. It says a lot. It's like, okay, guys. Enough, no more. Yeah, now I have grandchildren, which is even better.

32:21That's so nice. So you end up with stepchildren, right? Yes. I mean, Jean has one. He has one. Yeah, one son. And Nicola, and he calls me girlfriend. I call him boyfriend. I mean, we have a very complicated relationship. But we're very, very good friends. That's amazing. Yeah. In fact, when his girlfriend got pregnant, he told me before he told his dad. Oh, really? That's so nice. You know, it's funny, like the role of a stepmother. And, you know, I'm a stepmother and it's, you know, initially it was so complicated and so difficult. But they were just at like the wrong age, you know. That is much more complicated.

32:59But, you know, as the years have gone by, it's such a gift to have these incredible kids in my life. And I love them so much. Right. It's like a different kind of love that I never really knew I had. You know, you don't have to be bonded by blood. No, you don't. There's a certain, you know, karma. There's a certain, you don't know what it is. It's a Buddhist take on being a step-parent. I like it. That it all comes from the past. Destiny, you know. So it is very nice. And in fact, our grandchild was born on the 1st. Because when we went back to celebrate the New Year's with Nicola and Darina, on New Year's Eve, he said to me, when are you leaving?

33:43So I said, I'm leaving on the 2nd to go to Los Angeles. And he says, you know the baby is due on January the 30th. Where are you? And I'm like, I'm going to be in Toronto. I'll be filming there. He goes, what kind of grandmother are you? You're not going to be here when the baby is born. When do you come back? I said, I think I'll come back in March. He said, the baby will be walking. Oh, my God. He was giving me such a hard time. He was like, how can you leave? What do you mean? You promised to be my babysitter. Now you're going to leave me all. Then the baby appeared on the first. That is so crazy.

34:17That was the best thing ever. Amazing. That's quite early. Big surprise. But healthy, like mighty set of lungs. Born in France? In Geneva. Born in Geneva. Yeah. So tell me why you said yes to doing the brother son with my husband. Oh, you know what? When I received the script, I saw your husband's name there. And I was like, I want to work with this guy because I've seen all the shows that he's done. And I've always been very fascinated by how he always pushed the boundaries. And I thought, okay, I want to see if it's actually him who pushes the boundaries or somebody else. Right. And I was very pleasantly surprised when I read the script.

34:57And I thought, this is something that's not really been done here in America before. You know, to talk about the gangsters and this way. And in such a, that's what I love about Bratz's other shows. There's some kind of dark humor in them. Sometimes it's a little twisted. And I thought, this is the best way to tell a story like this because we don't want to glorify triads or anything like that and make you feel like, oh, yeah, it's so super cool to be a gangster where it's not. It's kind of cool. In the show, it's pretty cool. If you're a brother's son, it's kind of cool. Yeah. Other than that, it's not.

35:36So when I read it, and also it was a character, a kind of mother that I've not played before. Right. Because, you know, I came from playing Eleanor Young and Crazy Rich Asians. So good. And then Evelyn Wong and everything everywhere all at once. Yes. And then now another E. I wonder if they did it on purpose. I don't think they did. No. But it's so amazing. So my third E, Eileen, son, is this fascinating woman, a mother who would do anything for her children. And very extreme, as you will find out. Oh, yeah. So plus the fact that your husband was producing at the showrunner and all that. And he's dropped that gorgeous.

36:19So it's good to look at someone. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt at all. And I love the fact that it's so collaborative. After you read the script, either it appeals to you or it doesn't. But for me, apart from the script appealing, it's also the people who are working on it that's very important to me. Because I think right now we have choices. We can choose what we want to do with our time. And the choice is like I'm not going to do a script where I don't find it fascinating, and then I don't think the people that I will be working with is interesting. Yeah. So in that way, I don't I would prefer to be home with my family, you know, running around with the kids and be a good babysitter.

37:04Yeah. For a change. So I met with them and I was fascinated and I really, really was. So great. And have you done television before? I had. Oh, yes. You've done Star Trek. Yes. Star. Yes, of course. Yes, yes, yes. Of course. It's very different because Star Trek is, you know, it's episodic in the sense it's not just one. Right. Because this is like one, you know. That universe just keeps going and going and going. Right. And then I did. I only guest appeared in American Born Chinese, which was the Disney Plus one. OK. But Brother's Son is really my own show. Yeah. Right. But I must say, when they first, I think David Unger was the one who called me and said, oh, they want you to play mama son.

37:53And I go like, I don't want to play a mama son. I've already, I played Memos of Geisha already. I've done that. He doesn't know mama son. I'm like, what? So he's a mama. Oh, that son. The name son. The name son. Yeah. And what is it about, how would you describe her character? You said it's very different from the other mothers that you've played. And it turns out to be such a surprise who she actually is. Right? Yes. And it was funny because I remember Brad, you know, it's typical of him to always want to enter a world that he doesn't know a lot about, you know? So like whether it's Pose or, you know, he was the only white guy in the writer's room.

38:37He's like, it's critical that everyone, it's an all Asian writer's room. I can be the only white guy in here. and he learned he it was so incredible like he would come home and tell me about like a Taiwanese mom and how they behave and what this means when they say yeah do whatever you want and that it means the opposite yeah and all these amazing intricacies of like of what it is nuances right right no I think that's where I find him very interesting is like we want to be challenged the whole time. I want to be able to walk into a project where I'm going to learn. I mean, for selfish reasons, I want to be always learning.

39:16Yeah, me too. Because God forbid, you know, you think you know everything, then it's only downhill from there, right? So it's fantastic. And what I love is that the fact that he championed an all Asian story. So cool. It is so cool. I mean, it's also his first production for his own company. Yeah, it is. Right? So for me that he has taken this on meant a lot. Yeah. That's one of the main reasons, apart, of course, that I play number one. Of course, number one on the call sheet. Makes a big difference. But it just went to show how much he believed in it, right? Because I only want to work with people who believe in what they are doing.

39:59Because when you do that, then you're passionate about it. And it will show. It will come across and it will show not just on the pages, but, you know, on screen. You will feel that passion. You will feel all those emotions. For sure. And the first time when he brought all the kids to your home. That was fun. No, it was good because, you know, it also showed them that he was caring. He hears them. He sees them. And that is what we all want to be. You know, that's his great gift is being able to be present and hear. Like he sees people so deeply and it's a gift that he has for sure. It's a very, very, very valuable gift.

40:41How is it doing such physical stuff? Oh, fun. Still fun. Oh my God. If it wasn't, I wouldn't do it. I mean, sometimes I look and I think like I'm 10 years younger than you and I could never lift my leg that high. Like, oh my God. Because I do it every day. Right. I think that's the thing is not to stop. And still ballet? Oh, no. I've stopped ballet a very long time ago, unfortunately. Because, you know, ballet is, you have to be dedicated. And also, you have to be able to attend the classes. It's not really something that you can do on your own. Not like martial arts or karate. You know, when I do a lot of shadow boxing, I do a lot of training by myself.

41:24Because the easiest is to say, well, you know, there's no one to train with. So we'll do it the next time or the next day or whatever it is. so with this I can do it every day I'm doing it every day so that I am I'm in practice yeah so that I can you know hop onto the set the next day and go okay I'm ready for you wow let's do this so even if you're not filming every day and will you tell me a little bit I mean we're at goop so you have to tell me about your fitness and wellness regime no I think I should learn from you no mine I mean, I'm terrible. I mean, I, I, one thing that I do is a lot of stretching, because the core is one of the most important thing.

42:05I'm trying to learn how to meditate, failing miserably. Oh, yeah. But I love it, though, because it's the process of doing it. And how do you, why do you say you're failing at it? No, because I, you know, when you try to. You stop the timer and say, forget it. I don't do that. You know, in the old days where they say you have to clear your mind, clear your mind. it's bs right you do not clear you do not mine will never be cleared but i a very dear friend jet jet lee so he introduced me to his name dropper and he he what do you call it name oh i said name dropper oh wait till i drop mornings i love it i love it but he was he is amazing he met he tells me he meditates eight hours what yeah a day what is he doing with the rest of his life but Don't worry, they do it together.

42:57I mean, him and his wife. So, you know, he's like, I guess nobody talks to anyone. Maybe that's the way to keep a marriage happy. I don't know. They've worked it out somehow. But, of course, it's not eight hours in one stretch. Okay. So his Rinpoche was saying to me, it's like, you know, you don't, you know how the concept of sitting in the lotus position and then everybody go, total BS. He says, you can be in any position. is whether it's just your breathing. It could be a few seconds. It doesn't have to be 15 minutes. You don't have to put on a timer. He said, you just do it whenever you want to do it.

43:35That's true. And just be relaxed about it. Actually, I think I'm going to work with this amazing meditation app company that teaches how to do it with your eyes open as well. Because you can be anywhere and do it. That's right. I do it now when I'm hiking, when I'm walking. because it's all about your breathing. It's all about if you can, I have a vocal mantra in my head. So he says, as long as you're saying that mantra in your head, you're already meditating. It's a focus, right? It doesn't sound like you're failing. It sounds like you're succeeding. I prefer to think that I'm failing. So then I keep trying to be better at it.

44:13That might be a trauma response, Michelle. I might suffer from the same problem. So, okay, so do you meditate in the morning? Yeah. Is sleep important? Like how do you get the pie chart of your day? I don't, I don't, I've learned not to do that anymore. You know, you get frustrated. It's like, what is the right amount of hours you're supposed to sleep? So now I'm like, if I wake up at three, I wake up at three. Someone is going to be awake somewhere in the world. That's right. And then if I wake up very early, which I tend to, then that's the time when I just take that time to breathe, say my own little mantra to myself, you know, do my stretches in bed and things like that.

44:57That's so great. Okay, and then what happens? And then coffee. Coffee. And then when do you train? No, then after that I train. Okay. If I can get onto an elliptical, that's my go-to exercise machine. If the weather was good, I like to walk. I love hiking. I love being out in nature and things like that. If not, if it's raining, if I don't have an exercise machine, I just do shadow boxing. Just in your room? In my room. That's amazing. I don't give myself an excuse. If I have this space, I will use this space. Wow. That kind of discipline is so important. But I think it's a way of life. It's hygiene.

45:43Yeah, exactly. Right? I mean, you wake up, you don't think about it. You brush your teeth and comb your hair and you do the whole work. So I've incorporated the exercise. Into that. That's what I've done. I can do my stretches while I'm brushing my teeth, you know. And then I do my squats and I do my leg lifts. It's so great. I mean, it's so inspiring to see how strong you are, you know. And it's just that we don't have to, because I'm just like dealing with menopause stuff right now. I'm feeling it. Luckily, I've done with that. Oh, I can't wait to be done. I just want to be done. It can be frustrating.

46:20It's really, it's not. The flushes is like, oh. It's not for the faint of heart. I was in a meeting earlier and I wanted to rip my sweater off. I thought, I'm at work. I'm not going to do that. Ice cubes. Exactly. I think I need some. What do you eat? Let's get into that. I eat everything. That's good. Yes. What is your favorite thing to order at Dim Sum? Oh, chicken feet. Oh, my God. Are you serious? You ass. Okay. Don't give me that. I can't do that. Don't give me that. It's the collagen. It's the soft bone. It's so good for you, right? Yeah. The Chinese believe if you eat something like tendons or, you know, things with collagen, it's supposed to be good for that particular part of your body.

47:04So lots of chicken feet, lots of soft bone. Okay. My favorite is, I can't pronounce it, although Brad was trying to teach me how to say it in Chinese. It's like the fried... Like the swing roll? No, it's like fried dough, and then they wrap it in rice paper. Oh, chong fun. Thank you. Ju chong fun. I love that. That's my favorite. Do you still... That's my favorite. I love dim sum. Oh, me too. It's like my favorite. We just had that before we came here. Oh, you did? Where did you go? No, we ordered in. Oh, okay. That's okay. Are there good places in Paris? Yes, there are. I think you just have to discover them because right now we have like the Peninsula Hotel, the Shangri-La.

47:50The Shangri-La, the food there is amazing. It's very good. I always eat there. Well, because they come from a Chinese family, right? The Quark brothers, the Quark family. So they run and they always have chefs brought in from Asia, wherever they are. Brad said, I took him there for dinner, and he said, I want this to be my last meal. So when I die, this is what I want the night before. I was like, I don't know if I can plan that, but I'll try. Oh, my God. I know. He loved it. And the Peninsula is good, too? In Paris, yes, for the Chinese food. They have a really amazing Chinese restaurant. Oh, that's so good to know.

48:30I mean, I have to ask you about winning the Oscar last year. just because when you won I won I remember that pink dress oh my gosh I think yeah I forced the pink dress on everyone that was in 1998 or 9 I want to say I was 26 oh wow isn't that a lot of pressure to win the Oscars when you're that young it was really a lot I mean what is your next right Like, when is your next? And then everyone. What do you do to top that? Yeah. Yeah. And then I feel like everybody stops rooting for you, you know, when you're that young. It's like, it's sort of annoying that you won. Right. No, I think I understand what you mean.

49:19It's almost like, oh, God, how can you win when you're so young? You haven't even, you know, been tormented and tortured for long enough to already get that. And God forbid if you get another nomination very quick, soon after that. I know. So. It was a lot. It was, I think it's hard to win at that age when you don't really, you know, when I, I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I wanted. Like, I was such a kid still. But you wanted to be an actress though. Well, I, I, yeah. I mean, I, my mom is an actress. Yes. So I wanted to do what she did. You know, like she was so powerful when she was acting and so happy.

50:01And so I was like, oh, that's how you get freedom is to do be on stage, you know. So so I I just followed her. And then I think, you know, by the time I was about 30 is when I started to think I'm not sure that I really want to do this. And I think winning the Oscar was, you know, as I mean, it's probably much different when you are a grown up, really. and you win and you know who you are and you have struggled. But I think I felt very exposed and like that the energetic force of everybody like looking at me and talking about me was a lot. Right. It didn't feel. You weren't comforted. No, I wasn't.

50:44You didn't feel like people were like, you know, championing you. No. Oh, gosh, that's tough. No, I didn't at all. That is really, really tough. Yeah. No. But when you won. When I was headed towards that direction, you felt. You can feel it. I really felt, you know, the pressure of, especially the people from my side, from our part of the world, whether it's in America, in Europe, and especially in Asia, that hunger. Right. And it was tough because people would come out and say, you can do this. You have to do this. Right. Because you're representing a whole race of people. But it's not up to me.

51:25I mean, people still, like, just the other day they said, you knew you were going to win, right? I'm like, no. You didn't, even after winning all the other stuff? Because I only literally won SAG. Right. But I didn't, it wasn't a lot of others. I thought you won. I won Golden Globes. Yeah, Golden Globes. But then we were separated. You know when Golden Globes is like drama and musical and comedy? Oh, of course, right. Then you don't feel, you feel a lot more, oh, there's room to play with. You know, you keep your fingers crossed. Right. But I think it was BAFTA that smacked us all in the head when, you know, nothing.

52:03It was just, I think we only won for editing. Oh. Yeah. So we all came like, oh, no, my God. Oh, my gosh. But I think my proudest moment was SAG. That, it was a complete surprise. I know I cussed and swore and did everything. It was perfect. It was perfect. It was amazing. And to think like, you know, to be the first one in that way is so moving and so powerful. It was. I think it changed the lives of so many youngsters who really felt we can do this, you know. Yes, and this is why representation is so important. When we fought so long and hard for it, so it was. I mean, I think at that point when I was sitting there and thinking, oh, no, if I don't win, how am I going to go home?

52:58I don't know how to walk into that room anymore. I remember seeing, like, was it videos of your mom and everyone at home? Like, I saw it on the news. Oh, my God, because my sister-in-law, you know, bless her. Because, you know, it was like my mom couldn't travel all that way here. And also I knew how difficult it would be. I wouldn't be able to look after her. And so then she organized. At first she said, oh, no, we'll have like 40 friends of her friends. And then the next thing I knew was like, what? You have how many hundred? What? There? And so can you imagine the time difference? What time was it there?

53:35They had to go at 6.30 in the morning. But they were so sporting. They dressed up. They were walking the red carpet. They were doing all that. And then at some point, as the night went up, and of course, ours have to be the second to last, right? Of course. And you're sitting there going, I remember at that point, just before that, I was thinking to myself, oh, Jamie had this thing. She would give us each a little gold ball. It started with the golden globes. And she said, okay, here, have this. And we're going like, what? She said, at least you will have the golden globe to go home with. So that became sort of our good luck charm.

54:18Right. You're passing it back and forth. Yes, and so she would give it all one. And at that point, my purse had dropped, my ball rolled out. Oh, no. Oh, no, you're right. And I was going like, where is my ball? It's not funny. At that point, and then I was thinking, oh, my God, if I lose, my mother is sitting there with like 400 people. I wouldn't know what to do. I seriously wouldn't know what to do. And then, of course, at this point, Jamie reaches across, because she's sitting. John was here, I was here, Jamie, and then Key. And both of them have their Oscars on the floor next to them. Right.

54:52And then she reached across and goes, and then Key went, I was like, what the hell does that mean? He's like, don't worry. Even if you lose, we still love you. I'm like, wow. Thank you, guys. I feel great. Oh, my God. And so do you remember what it felt like when they said your name? Who gave it to you? I can't remember who gave it. Halle Berry. Oh, Halle Berry. Yes. Amazing. Wow. Jessica, Halle, and myself. That's so great. And I have this amazing picture of us. Arm and arm, we walked off the stage holding each other, and it was just like the perfect combination. Amazing. You know when the names are called out?

55:29You're sitting there going, like, oh, God. Oh, that's so crazy. Yes. It's so crazy. I had like a total out of body experience. I thought I can't even be in this body right now. It's just too intense. It really is, right? Yeah. At that point. And all I remembered was Jean jumped up and was there. You know, everybody was hugging me. And you're like, then the thing is like, I have stage fright. What am I going to say? What am I going to say? What am I going to say? And Jamie was like, go on stage, go on stage. And the worst thing that happens is that you know how they have that teleprompter at the back?

56:02Yeah. And within a few seconds, he said, please wrap it up. Wrap it up. And it kept flashing faster. You're like, I'm the first fucking Asian woman to win Best X-Men. I'm staying up here. I'm really going to kick your ass, okay? If you do that one more time. I know martial arts. Take that down. I'm going to just leap across the heads and... Oh, my God. No, no, no. It was fun. And where is it? Where do you keep it? At the moment, it's traveled back to... It's in Geneva with Jean. Because we took it to Malaysia to be with my mom. It had a world tour. It has been. He's well-traveled. He's been all over the place.

56:41Yeah, so it's good. Now, Jean is like his baby. When you're traveling, he can sleep with your Oscar. He literally carries him around. He's so cute. That's so sweet. That's so proud and loving. Yeah, he's very, very proud. And how does it feel now, like that it's been almost a year? You know, sometimes it feels, it's still overwhelming. Yeah, yeah. It still is. I still haven't come to a point where I don't know what's happened. Sometimes you don't know what's happening and you go, oh, my God, it's a year. Because now very soon we're talking about the next Oscars. Yeah, yeah. Are you going to go and present?

57:20Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's great. Definitely. Can't wait to do that. Now I can sit back. when I watched them do the actors on actors. I know. It's like I had to go through all. No, but when you were there, I think first time doing it, it was scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Because you've not been down that path before. You don't really understand what's going on. But I had a great publicist in Liz, and the people from A24 were fantastic. So they really rallied around us. That's great. Because, you know, it was like, it's almost like a campaign. It's like a political campaign, right? It's unbelievable.

58:02And you go, what? You have to do this when? How? Is that all the things leading up to that? Yeah. And not to overdo this or overdo that and do enough and be, and you're so scared that you're going to say the wrong thing. And so it was like. It's intense. But so beautiful, so well-deserved, and it was so exciting to see. No, it was. It was overwhelming. It still is. I think there are moments, and the best part is like you see and you feel the joy, you know, when they come up to you and they congratulate you. You can see how really, really happy they are for you, and that's really nice. And I'm sad you didn't have the same experience when, you know, because like right now I feel that it's like it was so important that I did.

58:55And in a way they felt like you did this for us. Yeah. So, you know, we're here for you. That's amazing. So, yeah, it is amazing. That's amazing. And what, just as our last question, what are you looking forward to in 2024? Oh, more new things to play with. Lots of acting. Yeah. I love what I do. I think you have to. This has to be a passion. If it's just a job, I don't think you'd enjoy it because the hours are crazy. Crazy. It's emotional. And I'm not a very good people person. I don't like crowd. I don't either. I like to be at home. Me too. So it is work on the other side when you have to go up.

59:40Energetically, yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Especially if you're more of an introverted person like I am. Right. So you know how it is an effort. Yeah, it is. You know, to go out there and I'm worse than small talk. Yeah. I don't want to go to the 40s. I don't know what to say. Well, I hope that it brings season two of The Brother's Son. Me too. Because there are so many. Because when we were talking about season one, we would, you know, because I love to work with backstories of the characters. It's like, how do they become the way they are right now? And then, you know, what happens to them, how they change and how they are forced to change or not.

1:00:23And this character, the two sons and the mother, and even the dad, right? That dynamic, the whole situation. Well, I hope we were trying to make Brad take us all to Taiwan. Yeah, that would be really good. That would be really fun. I'm going if you guys are going. We have to go. That's the best reason for doing season two. Exactly. That we all travel together. And dim sum every Sunday. Oh, that's Taiwanese food. It's really good. Michelle, thank you so much for being on the pod. Thank you. It's been so much fun. It's been amazing. You're so inspirational. Oh, thank you. Really. Truly, you really are.

1:01:02Thank you. And it's been an honor. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for this privilege.

1:01:10Thanks for listening to my conversation with Michelle Yeoh. The Brother's Son is now on Netflix and it's a must watch. Thanks for tuning in. This has been a presentation of Cadence 13 Studios. I hope you'll listen, follow, rate, and review all of our episodes, which are available for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you get your podcasts.