Jim Curtis: Overcome Insecurities, Step Into Your Possibility and Believe You’re Enough, Finally!

0:00And what if I was the most lovable? What would that look like? When you said that, I felt my whole body shift. Yes. I felt like you can do anything. Everything shifts energetically if that's your focus. You say what you're seeking isn't missing. It's already within you, waiting to be remembered. You are not separate from things. They're not beyond your reach. That your identity creates your reality. And if you want something, you start to align with it and you say, what are the blocks in front of it? Not how do I go get it? Because it's already there. You have dealt with debilitating health issues and insecurity.

0:40You've transformed your life. You've now helped thousands of people transform theirs. You're now dating one of the most famous and beautiful actresses in the world. How have you done this in your life? You transformed your health, your deepest insecurities. How? Well, first I'll say I started walking with a limp and we couldn't figure out what it was. We got MRIs and I eventually went all over the world just trying to find out what was causing this. Was it a tumor? Was it cancer? Was it multiple sclerosis? At one point I couldn't walk at all. Okay, now that I have this new body, it's created a new identity because I'm no longer that kind of kinesthetic, masculine, you know, and so what is the new identity?

1:28And so for a long time, the new identity was weak. The new identity was not enough. And I had to say, am I going to settle for this? Jim Curtis. Hello. Nice to see you. Welcome. Welcome. Thank you. Yeah. Whether you're dealing with insecurities, health challenges, or fear, imagine breaking fully free from self-doubt and truly transforming your life. Get ready to release, align, and become with today's guest, Jim Curtis. Jim is a transformational coach and wellness leader dedicated to guiding people through change. He blends neuroscience and spiritual principles to help you reprogram your patterns and become your best self.

2:12With more than 25 years in wellness leadership, hypno-coaching process, and hypno-meditations, Jim has worked with leading entrepreneurs and public figures. His work is deeply personal, shaped by his own journey with chronic illness and childhood trauma, and rooted in the belief that no matter what, transformation is always possible. And you have someone who's like, I keep dating emotionally unavailable guys. And we have to say, okay, what's the pattern there driving this? And one step deeper is what's the belief underneath that pattern. So for example, it could be, I'm unlovable. I truly believe our self-worth is our ceiling.

2:53Like I believe that in so many areas, like we'll sabotage things we don't think we're worthy of. Self-worth is our ceiling. Isn't that an amazing thing to say? I started to find myself sabotaging myself because I felt as though I wasn't worthy of that level of abundance. Wow. He's been making headlines everywhere this year for his thought leadership, also for his love life. His brand new book, The Book of Possibility, Release, Align, and Become, is a practical and compassionate guide to healing, unlocking the power of your subconscious mind, releasing fear, and creating lasting change. He's also making his television hosting debut in his new original interview series called Beyond the Program with Jim Curtis, premiering exclusively on Gaia this October.

3:43I am so happy you are here, and thank you for being part of the Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast family. I'm so excited for today's conversation together. And if you haven't done this yet, can you take two seconds and hit the subscribe button on the app that you're listening on or watching on? That way you'll be the very first to get every inspirational episode. Plus, you can get weekly inspiration into your inbox from me to you for free. Just join my newsletter at jamiekernlima.com. And thank you so much for sharing this with every single person that you know who might need some inspiration and hope today, because we are all in this one life together.

4:22Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Oprah, how have you defied the odds? Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug. First Lady Michelle Obama. Jamie, you are going so deep. I have never had this in-depth conversation. I've actually never said that out loud to anybody in an interview before. You know how to get there. Your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow, Melinda French Gates. When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. Megan, Duchess of Sussex. I wasn't expecting that one. I could see the light around her.

5:10She's infused with light. Maria Shriver. I never made that mistake again. Imagine overcoming self-doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. He's traveled here today to join you and me in person. Jim Curtis, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Thank you so much. That was very comprehensive. I loved it. Every part of my life. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy you're here. And congratulations on the book of possibility.

5:59Yes. Tell us about this book for anyone who is tuning in and wants to know, is it for them? What is it about? Transformation is always possible. That's what I believe. And you don't have to be, um, what I call 100 % healed to be able to transform. Right. So thank goodness. Right. Right. Like, like with me, I walk with a limp, you know, right. But I can still shine light really brightly. So sometimes we start to think when I get unstuck, when I do something different, when I'm ready. And this book allows you to say that now is the time, allows you to see that now is the time, that you can shine now.

6:39And it's often really easy reminders. This is not a complicated book where you're like reading line after line after line and trying to figure it out. Like some of these books that I studied growing up about Buddhism or anything else. This is a really easy book that speaks to you on a subconscious level so that your mind naturally starts to release some of these limits that we have around fear, around suffering, and allows you to step forward. It's a reminder that you are so much bigger than these issues that may be happening, so much bigger than the challenges, and that you can step into transformation every time.

7:16This book shows you how. I love that because when we're dealing with some of the big things, we think like it's just us or we're doomed in the future. You say that our subconscious patterns that we all have are quietly shaping our health, our relationships, our confidence, our sense of fulfillment. So can you explain this at a really basic fundamental level? Do we all have subconscious patterns? What are they? How are they impacting our lives? What can we do about them? Yes, at a very easy level. The simplified level is that we learn things. We learn how to be in the world, how to interact with our environment.

7:58We learn this from our parents and our grandparents and our teachers, and it created a pattern. We can't take all the information in at once, so we create patterns so we know how to react to things. And these patterns often are keeping us safe. And sometimes that safety limits us, or we fall into the same familiar patterns because our subconscious mind loves familiarity because it's safe. And that familiarity may not be serving us in our conscious waking world like relationships. We may have the pattern that we go after people that aren't quite right for us. They don't give us the attention that we need or the love or the support we need.

8:40That they're somehow, people like to use the word toxic, somehow toxic. And we end up upset and unhappy and the relationship breaks up. there is a pattern there that's driving that. And it's in your subconscious mind. It's usually there to protect you. So when I say patterns, we look at those beliefs that are creating patterns that create our identity and that we go out in the world and we create our reality from. So when you have someone who's like, I keep dating emotionally unavailable guys, right? They tend to think, why do I keep picking wrong? Or why do I keep attracting people that do this to me.

9:18But are you saying that this could be, oh, it's actually familiar to us and we're doing it without realizing it. And once we recognize, oh, actually I'm seeking what's familiar, even though it's not good for me, even though I don't want it when I think about it, but I'm seeking what's familiar. How do we realize that we're doing this? How do we all realize, oh, wait a minute, is this familiar to me? And that's why I'm doing it. And then what do we do about it? Yes, that's the part. And that's what this book is about. It's about release, aligning, and becoming. So the first part is release. And we have to become aware.

9:51And that's taking inventory of our lives. If it's relationships, because that's what we're talking about, or even money or wealth or health, you start to say, okay, what have been the results in my life in the past? Because we have to, like a business, we look at the results so far. What do we have in our lives? and if we have like this really loving relationship but where it's hard to make the rent then we have to say okay what's the pattern there driving this and one step deeper is what's the belief underneath that pattern so for example it could be i'm unlovable because something happened in my childhood where mom and dad split up or my parents or something you know i didn't get the attention that i needed from dad and i was always striving for that right and so this belief that says, you know, I'm not worthy of dad's love, follows into a pattern of finding men that are familiar to that.

10:43Even though the conscious mind says it's painful and that I don't want it anymore, you're going after that familiar pattern. You create a familiar pattern because you're going after that belief. And then in your life, in your reality, you have a bunch of relationships that don't fulfill you. Why do we go after the familiar? Is it because it keeps us safe because we know what it is? There's so much information coming into us, right? We have this mind that's collating, this reticular activating system that's going out and looking for the information that we want based on our beliefs. We can't take it all in at once.

11:14So we have an operating system, just like any computer, I call it. That's dumbing down. I want to talk about the soul later. So the operating system says, I need patterns to make sense of this world, all this information and who I am. I need to identify an identity so that I can operate within this world. and those patterns support the identity and they're familiar and they keep us safe, even if they're limiting. And we can change them. That's the best part, right? I always say, okay, what's the belief driving this pattern? Well, the belief is I'm not good enough or I'm great with love, but I'm bad with money.

11:55You know, and that's just what my mother used to say to me. You have champagne taste and beer pockets, right? And so I always said, boy, I'm always going to want more than I have. So we say, what is it? And is it true? Where in their heart, if I was to do surgery on your heart, would I find this belief? No, because it's out here. It's just a piece of information that we've adapted as truth. So is there any other truth? Yeah, other people have this. I could have this too. So my truth is not 100%. And therefore, I can start to reprogram based on other truths I want to adapt into the program. Mm.

12:32So many people think if they change something or get something on the outside, then it's going to fix everything. If I hit my goal weight, if I get a certain number of my bank account, if I get married to the love of my life or get this dream job or whatever it is, 2026, I have people, oh, I have millions of followers, whatever it might be. And you say that real transformation doesn't happen outside of you, that it has to happen inside of you by by changing your identity, your beliefs, your patterns you're operating from. And this is a lot about what you're talking about in your book is how exactly do you do this?

13:06What are the steps? Because I think we've all made that mistake that we think like, okay, well, something's missing, or I'm not happy, or I'm unfulfilled. But when this thing finally happens, then, like then... If I only moved to California, I'd be happy. You can't escape your mind. You can't escape your heart and your energy. It follows you. So the work starts within. And when you start to do that deep work within, and sometimes that's, guess what? Sometimes that's the most difficult work we do. Yeah. Like, so that's the hard work, right? That's the hard work because fear comes up. And what happens when you want to change the familiar?

13:45That's when you hit the most amount of resistance. So people that are doing the spiritual work or the self-work or the deep inner transformational work, they say, Oh my God, you know, I've been through the toughest patch of my life ever. Right. Everything seems to be crumbling. Even people around me are leaving. And I'm so uncomfortable. And I said, yes, because you are pushing outside of the familiar. And when you do that, all the alarms go off to say that you're not safe. But when you get to the other side of it, the beauty opens up of what's possible. And, and so much is, that's the biggest thing to keep in mind is that it's all possible.

14:24And I would imagine the alarms go off to everyone else. Then they're like, wait a minute. Now you're not familiar to them if you're changing and growing too. That's a great way to put it. Sometimes people around you are like, wait a minute, something's not familiar to me. Now that feels unsafe to them. Yes. They freak out when you're growing and transforming. You're different. And therefore what I had an idea of you, that makes me challenge myself. right now i feel different and if i'm going to stay in my fixed identity then i have to either ostracize you or remove you or accept you for where i am and then that means i'll change too so a lot of people on the spiritual path feel this all of a sudden they feel a little bit of a spiritual awakening they open up they're excited for life they believe there's something more they start to stock talking about the potential and the light and so everybody's like oh no You've gone off the deep end.

15:13What are you talking about, manifestation? Yeah. And, you know, that's a fact of life. Can you explain energy and frequencies, how what we attract to us reflects our own energy and frequency? I like to say it's physics. And then I had an interview by a woman. She said, I'm not sure that's peer-reviewed. And I was like, when you say you have chemistry with someone and you have a chemist there and you say, boy, I have great chemists. It's not peer-reviewed anyway. So sometimes it's a leap of faith to know that when you walk into a room, you can feel something, right? I've been to meditation retreats when you're meditating and the whole level of frequency goes up in the room, right?

15:54And you can kind of feel that. So when you tune into your body, you realize that we are all vibrational energy, right? All the way down to the atom, we are vibrating at a frequency. And you can just do the tuning fork tests, right? We have different vibrations, different hurts, which we're vibrating at. And often as we raise our vibration from guilt and shame, which is a self-loathing, low vibration, to acceptance, joy, excitement, love, which is a high vibration, you step into just something that feels lighter and happier, more magnetic. And it's been proven in the scientific world, and then we make the jump into the spiritual world, that this correlates to how we attract things.

16:42Because frequencies connect and attract each other. You find yourself vibrating at the same level. And when you do that, you can start to step into a whole new opportunity to say, okay, I'm not so separate from that health. I'm not so separate from the abundance that I want. I have to raise my frequency and believe that I'm worthy of it. Yeah. I truly believe our self-worth is our ceiling. Like I believe that in so many areas. Like we'll sabotage things we don't think we're worthy of. Self-worth is our ceiling. Isn't that an amazing thing to say? And I found it in my life, right? As soon as I, there was a time in my business where I started making more money than I ever experienced before.

17:30And I hit the ceiling or I call it the homeostasis, right? Homeostasis is when our blood pressure, you know, evens out. High blood pressure, low, and we're always even. Same with the body temperature. Same with when we get too cold, we shiver. Too hot, we sweat. So we're in homeostasis, right? And I believe our beliefs are there too. So when we get to a point where we think we're getting more than we should have, we sabotage ourselves. So I got to this point in my business where it was like, oh my God, so much money is coming in. And then I started to say, oh, don't take any. I don't think we need any more customers, no more clients.

18:07This is enough there. And then someone would go against the refund policy. I was like, just give them their money back, right? I started to find myself sabotaging myself because I felt as though I wasn't worthy of that level of abundance. And so I had to go back and say, what part of me, what program, and at what age was it created? I had to recognize that I was doing that and then question myself. Ask my subconscious mind. Subconscious mind, at what age was this pattern and block created? Okay. I recognize. I see it. something tells me, let me explore that. Is it still true? Am I worthy now to do good in the world and to therefore do well myself?

18:52And then we start to overcome it with awareness. We release that. We love it. We say, I'm so sorry that child doesn't need to be safe anymore. We can step into the light. And everything changes. And that's called raising the ceiling of your own homeostasis. And we do a lot of that in the book and the meditations that come with it. How long ago was that experience for you? I think it was six years ago. Six years ago. Yeah. And did you remember what your mom had said? That was part of it. Yeah. That was part of it. I grew up also in a blue collar family and, you know, kind of wealth was for those people.

19:26And, you know, we were hardworking, you know, kind of go out and shovel the snow type of Bostonians. So I realized that, you know what? Wealth and abundance is an energy. I can step into that frequency and do well while doing well or do great while doing great, whatever way you want to put it. This is going to be a big aha moment, I think, for a lot of people because I don't know anyone who hasn't sort of like sabotaged something or even has this sort of bad habit they wish they didn't have. They're always late or they can never quite, you know, whatever it might be, pay their bills on time, whatever it might be.

20:03And it's really interesting to actually look at it the way you're describing, the way you take everyone through in the book of possibility, which is out now. Grab your copy. Grab it. Everywhere books are sold. And an audible. But you take everyone through how do you do this. And I think it's going to be a big aha moment. Even for someone listening right now who's not into all the spiritual stuff or what some people call woo-woo stuff, but they've got some issues. And if they could figure out how to make their life a whole lot better, I think having this fundamental, here's how you do it. Here's how you take it through.

20:34Here's when you uncover, where is that coming from? And then you love it and you release it and you step into the light. I think that's going to be a big shift for a lot of people in any area of life. I think you're right. And I work with a lot. There isn't a person that I've worked with, no matter how successful, no matter how well known, that isn't having a human experience that feels some blocks. That's what we're here for. This is called the school of life. And it's not always easy. So we're here to overcome these amazing challenges. And you notice I said overcome these amazing challenges instead of like solve these issues that are crushing me.

21:15Right? Overcome these amazing challenges that we get to have so that we can grow into something greater. And if that is, you know, like why? You just have to start questioning everything in the release phase. Why am I late all the time? I know that I don't feel good when I show up late. I know that my friends get upset. I know that it doesn't look good on job interviews. So why is it? Why is it? What part of me does that create some safety? Or is it the block from? Or why is it that every time my relationship is going so well, I start a fight? Right? Why do I get in a fight? Or every time that I feel as though I need some reassurance in my relationship, meaning I need to know how much they love me, I pull away.

22:03And that creates a lot of strife in the relationship because the other person starts to get anxious and somehow we feel safe that way. But it's not allowing us to step into our most loving selves, the most intimacy that we could ever have. And so we start to ask, what is it about me that's doing that? And when we start to ask these questions, everything opens up. Now we add some neuroscience to it, knowing that we create neuroplasticity and new neuropathways faster by reading, writing, and listening all at the same time about one issue. So like I said in the book, and this is not all promotion for the book, I hope people get into this expanded mind just from listening to this podcast.

22:42But when you start to read something, the information that could give you an aha moment, and then you write your own thoughts and experiences about it, You start to ingrain what you want to become as well. And then you listen to something that can move the conception or perception of something. All three of those create a new potential, a new possibility faster. And so whether you believe in the woo-woo of spirit or not, this is proven science in terms of being able to learn quicker. I want to ask everyone right now who's listening or watching this to think about one thing in your life that you're seeking, one thing that you want in your life.

23:20Just think about one thing that you want right now. And I want to ask you this because you say what you're seeking isn't missing. It's already within you waiting to be remembered. Does that apply to everything? I think so. Yeah. Will you say more about that? Yes. Right. Right. And so the way that I speak and the way that I write is all to a reminder. And so I used to get these comments. I'd go and speak in front of a big crowd or I'd put out some videos or something. And people would be like, that's right. That's such a great reminder. And I'd be like, oh, God, I'm doing something wrong. Why have I not had this major breakthrough moment of people?

24:06like, uh, and, and, oh, they already knew what I was, yeah, I already knew this stuff. And it's like, and so, um, I realized that there's a place for everything. And my key role is to remind you, to remind you of these things that you have forgotten, that your soul has always known that your mind, that your subconscious mind has always known and you may have forgotten. And these reminders are simple. And the reminders are you are not separate from things. They are not beyond your reach. That your identity creates your reality. And if you want something, you start to align with it and you say, what are the blocks in front of it, not how do I go get it?

24:48Because it's already there. There's so much wealth in the world. You experience this. You realize there are some blocks. You start to remove them. Your business flourished. Every time there was a challenge as an entrepreneur, you overcame that challenge. not thinking that it was not possible, just knowing that, you know, maybe there's some boulders in the way that I need to climb over. And so we realize that this is all available to us because what we dream of, what we desire, right, that idea and image, if we can think about it, desire it, dream it, imagine it, that means that we can create it.

25:23That means that it has to exist somewhere we've dreamed it up right think about the fax machine and some guys like we're gonna send some papers you know like some information and like try selling the first fax machine yeah try selling the first fax machine like here you go someone else somewhere is gonna have another one of these and you're gonna be able to send a document over the uh airwaves and the frequency and the vibration and say okay and but he had a dream same with a skyscraper you know someone thought about a 50-story building when build it. So if you can dream it, you can get it. This is not separate.

25:58Anything. You believe that. No matter what, if we can dream it, imagine it, you think in time and space, in this time and space, in this reality we're experiencing as a human, that if we can dream it, we can create it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now, okay. Perhaps there are some limits on our own consciousness, right? And then someone who has a health issue that says, you know i you're telling me i can overcome like i'm in a wheelchair and you're telling me i'm gonna i can dream about running therefore i can run no not necessarily because we have to get to the emotion of it right i dream myself about like oh okay i have dreams about running and i wake up and i was yeah i feel so good like yes i remember that feeling of the strength in your body and your lungs and being able to run.

26:49And someone said to me, do you feel badly that when you wake up and you realize that you can't run? I said, no, absolutely not. It feels great. And so I'm not saying that you want to like wake up and all of a sudden you'll be healed of your condition or your disease. What I'm saying is that what you really want is the emotion of feeling happy, joyful, whole. And despite not being able to run, you can still feel happy, joyful, and whole. Hmm. That is a huge granular difference right there. Because you want the thing and you're like, okay, maybe it's not possible. You could physically run, right?

27:25You're saying right now, you could not physically run. And I'm going to ask you about your story, but you're saying why you want the feeling of physically running is you want to feel these emotions. You want to feel happy and joy and strong, but you can actually feel those. And then you've accomplished what you're hoping to. Right. Someone may be saying, oh, Jim, I can imagine myself being a billionaire. Yeah. Right? And we know that there are only a couple hundred billionaires in the world. You're not going to be, perhaps you will be, right? If you can imagine, you go out and do it, right? But why do you want to be a billionaire?

27:56You have to get to the emotion behind it because you want this feeling of safety, abundance, wholeness, excitement, opportunity. Well, you can go out and get those without a billion dollars in the bank. You have dealt with debilitating health issues and insecurity. You've transformed your life. You've now helped thousands of people transform theirs. You're now dating one of the most famous and beautiful actresses in the world. How have you done this in your life? How have you transformed your health, your deepest insecurities? And you're sitting here right now having helped thousands of people, having now done this work for over 25 years and contributed to so many people, living an incredible life.

28:42in every respect. Yeah. Yeah. What would you say is how? Well, first I'll say, see, anything is possible, right? Anything, again, that's where I kind of chalk up to possibility. The other part is I continued to unravel the identity that I had. And so when I would find an obstacle, I'd say, what's happening and what do I need to change? And so whether that was changing my career from working as an entrepreneur and companies like WebMD and Everyday Health and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, I felt resistance. I listened to my body when I started to feel sick. And I said, something needs to change in my life.

29:24And I always had the curiosity and the will to actually take that step beyond fear and to change it, right? And I also, with health, right? I think it's really important to say, can I shine my light despite it all? Or do I need to be completely whole, healed, and healthy to shine my light? This is big, Jim. Will you just share for a moment? There's many people listening or watching that haven't read your book yet and they don't know your story yet. Will you just share with them the context of what you have gone through as far as your physical health and physical health challenges you've gone through?

30:06Because I want everyone to put themselves, it's easy to see you, you know, oh, he has everything right now. But I think what's so powerful is when it's like, oh, but how far have you come? Like how far have you come in your journey? And a lot of people are going to connect to this part of you. Can you share just a little bit, because there's so much more in the book that's so well told, but a little bit about your health struggles and what that did to your confidence and your insecurities? Because we all have insecurities, but some of the ones that you've dealt with, people can only imagine. Right.

30:43So I was at 20 years old, I woke up, I was always an athlete. I was going to college on a swimming scholarship, and I was kind of identified as being the strong guy in the room. I was kind of happy and very physical. And at 20 years old, I got into the shower. I couldn't feel any water on my left foot, and I thought that was very strange. It eventually moved up to my calf and then to my leg and then to my stomach, and I started walking with a limp. And we couldn't figure out what it was. We got MRIs, and I eventually went all over the world just trying to find out what was causing this. Was it a tumor?

31:27Was it cancer? Was it multiple sclerosis? And we could never really find a cause. But what did happen over the decade is I got incredibly ill. My pain body was really, really over the top. in terms of what I was feeling in my body. And then I started to walk with a limp. And then at one point I couldn't walk at all. And I came back from that through both medicine and what I believe is spirituality. And I started to say, okay, now that I have this new body, it's created a new identity because I'm no longer that kind of kinesthetic, masculine. And so what is the new identity? And so for a long time, the new identity was weak.

32:28The new identity was not enough. And I had to say, am I going to settle for this? And the new identity said, you can't go out and lead people and teach, even though I was working at these big health and wellness technology companies, because you can't be in front leading people because you're not whole yourself. And how are you going to show someone how to be healthy and happy if you're broken? That was my identity for a decade. And it was based on old stuff from childhood too. And that would get you nowhere. And so I really had to say, what do I want? How can I align with it? and how can I release that old identity and step into something new?

33:18And here's the simple reminder. One, you need to forgive. Forgive yourself first. Forgive yourself for not being enough. Forgive yourself for not being healthy and whole, for not having enough money, for all those things that you're beating yourself up for. It's not true. Just forgive yourself first. And the second thing is, guess what? You're so lovable, so incredibly lovable. Start with you. Love yourself. Because when you can love yourself and accept yourself, everything changes. You don't have to be perfect anymore. Guess what? You are lovable and complete as you are. And everybody makes mistakes.

34:00Those mistakes that you make. So as soon as I say you're lovable and your listener is like, but you don't know this. Right? Guess what? That's lovable too. You can accept it. and from that point of loving forgiveness you move on to say okay if i no longer have to be afraid and shameful because i've done these things i've forgiven myself and i no longer have to feel as though i am unlovable right i can step in with the question of what if i was the most lovable what would be possible for me and so okay well if i'm the most lovable then i can lead people i can step into new opportunities i can find love and then if i'm the most lovable that means i'm shedding love i'm sharing love i'm pushing it out that energy of love is coming out of my heart and if i lead in the world like that what is possible and the quite the answer to that is everything.

35:00And so how do I get there? Well, forgiveness and love. And that's the steps that you need to take. And there are many ways to kind of eat those vitamins. And we talk about some in the book, but that's the first step. For the person, for the person who's like, oh, but Jim, you don't know what I did. You don't know how many mistakes I've made. You don't know how many times I broke promises to myself. You don't even know what I look like in the mirror, naked. You don't know the times I didn't keep my word to someone. You don't know all the failures I've had, whatever it might be, right? All the mistakes I've made.

35:40How does that person then forgive themselves and love themselves? What do they do? Okay. The actual part. When we say, okay, let me, first your right size. What am I hiding? All those things that I'm hiding. Right. You know, they say in AA, I'm only as sick as my secrets. Okay. And then am I the only one hiding this shit? Oh, yeah. Everybody's hiding the same stuff. All right. They're not good enough that I did this wrong. And everybody's made mistakes. This is a school of life. And what if we were put on this school of life to have these experiences so that we can learn and grow into something greater?

36:24Like what if that was our purpose, that we can't get out of this life without having these mistakes and issues? Okay, that's the first rationale that we give to our subconscious and conscious mind, so that we can start to get ready for the change, that I'm not alone in this, that I'm not the one, only one hiding my shame, and therefore, okay, we're all on this journey together. That means this one, this is, if you take anything away, this is it. That means that I'm not doing it wrong. And if I'm not doing it wrong, that means that I'm doing it exactly right. Oh, even the mistakes, even the stuff that I'm hiding.

37:02Yeah, you're doing exactly right. Radically accepted. Okay. Now, from this point of doing it exactly right, radically accepting all that stuff do i want to continue this way no i'd like to have something different good okay so now let's start to write down what we want to be different and then you start to align with that vision because sometimes you ask people what do you want and someone says i want to be happy no we need to get very specific what's going to make you happy How do you want to be happy? Who are you with? Where are you with? Right? So what do you want? So the first part is releasing.

37:44And we use things like the Honoponopono prayer, which is a really powerful, energetic, vibrational code. It's like stem cells in your body. All you have to say this and the vibration of it will go and start to heal people and experiences in you. The second part is sometimes you have to make amends. Sometimes you have to go to those people and say, you know what? I'm so sorry. I made a mistake. and, you know, I want to have a new relationship. Let's make amends. And then you forgive those people that hurt you. Release their energy. You're no longer going to rent space in my mind. I release you and give that energy back to you.

38:23Now, you don't have to go and tell them that, right? You say that to yourself. And the forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. And then you forgive yourself. and there's all sorts of writing exercises, questions to ask, and things to listen to. I use meditation and what I call hypno-meditation so that we can get into the subconscious mind, re-experience these things very easily in a place of peace and relaxation and start to reframe them because the mind remembers stories. And when we reframe the stories, we can have a new story in our mind. And then we move forward into the aligned piece and then embodying that as we make it our identity with a few steps.

39:03Two things. I don't want anyone to miss what you just said. When you go from I'm lovable and you go through the whole process and you forgive yourself, you forgive others, and then you go, and what if I was the most lovable? What would that look like? When you said that, I felt my whole body shift. I felt like you can do anything. Everything Your whole, like everything shifts energetically if that's your focus. And so really quick, when you mentioned the whole Opa No Pono prayer, can you just share briefly for someone who's never heard of that, what it is? And also, can you do that to yourself in the mirror?

39:44Oh my God. Yes. And how do you use it? Yes. I use it. So the Honoponopono prayer is a Hawaiian prayer, and it was developed by a man or written by a man in Hawaii that the lore goes that he prayed over inmates' pictures in one of the most violent institutions, prisons in America. And as he prayed over these inmates, this prayer, it is a vibrational code that, you know, the words are, the words we say are just frequency and vibration. We hear them because there's a, you know, a resonance and it goes into our ears and then we have an understanding based on our programs what those words mean. Right.

40:34But really, they're just a vibration. And so everything is vibrating. What if the words that we say are actually codes to change the vibration and the reality around us? And so the Honopono prayer is a vibrational code for forgiveness and realignment. And as he prayed over these inmates at the prison, all of them were either downgraded into a less high of security prison. They were moved into a lower security because violent crime went down so much. or they were released. And they never, he never saw them. He got into that vibrational match with them. What I use this for in my life is forgiving myself and others.

41:21And I always pictured my inner child was just like healing when I said this prayer. And it would, it was one of the most profound experiences that I had in my initial kind of journey because every time I said it, it would just, I would start to weep. not of sadness but of release that i no longer had to carry this burden of shame and then when i do it with people in the large groups that i do i always look at the screen or in the crowd tears and i know it's not sadness and so it's a powerful vibrational frequency and it goes like this. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And anyone listening, just maybe even close your eyes and just take this in for a minute.

42:12I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Don't think about anyone. Just allow this to penetrate into your energy, into your heart. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And as you repeat that over and over again, you'll start to feel something release, some energetic shift. And then when that shifts, if you are completely lovable, if you were forgiven, what if it all works out better than you ever expected? Then what's possible? So my husband and I, this prayer has been so helpful because there's times where we'll be in some kind of disagreement or some kind of argument or one of us is whatever's going on.

43:00And it feels like, you know, is this repairable in this moment? Do we even have time or capacity? But also we don't want to just stay mad and keep that energy vibration. and one of us will just start this prayer and then we'll both do it to each other. We'll say the four lines to each other and there's something that shifts and it's like... Every time. Right? Yeah. It's like, oh, what if this is an illusion, this anger that I'm feeling about this kind of thing that doesn't really exist and now all of a sudden I can shift it just by like stepping into love and acceptance with you and forgiveness?

43:36Yeah. And it's like, okay, so maybe it didn't change the problem, but at the very least, it changed how you felt about him and the issue in that moment. Isn't that enough? Do you and Jennifer use this at home? Like if you have a thing. We do a lot of meditation. We do a lot of talk. But we don't use this particular prayer. We have. We have. But it's a very easy. It's really powerful because especially if one person, if someone's so frustrated and then you actually just look into your partner's eyes and you say these four lines, you almost just can't be mad anymore. You're almost just like life's too short and you keep it moving.

44:17It is true. It's very healing. Yeah. How long have you been with your husband? Oh my goodness, Jim Curtis. 24 years. 24 years. So I think that at different stages in your relationship, right, that different tools are really beneficial. Yeah. So after 24 years, you're like, I know you. And now, and also I have like, you know, like I'm ready for you. Right. And so when you use this, it lowers defenses. Right. It's like, oh, I no longer have to be armored up for you because we're on the same team and I love you. Right. And so, you know, Jen and I have been together a year and a half. So this tool isn't, you know, isn't the first tool that we go to.

44:56Yeah. Right. What is the first tool? Meditation or? Yeah. Meditation. acceptance, understanding, you know, kind of those kinds of things. And, you know, in the honeymoon phase, like your tools don't have to be like big sledgehammers. Yeah. No, this one is so good. And, and sometimes when we do it, I'll think to myself, even though you're wrong and I shouldn't even have to be dealing with this, but then I'll say it. And I'm like, it just puts you in a higher vibration. It just does. You know, because Even if we don't think we did anything wrong, just saying I'm sorry, which is hard sometimes for people to say, that part of it.

45:33But it also feels true at the same time. Yeah, because maybe you're not only saying to him, you're saying to your inner self. Yes. Right? And some people say, if I say I'm sorry, that means I'm not right. And if I'm not right, what does that mean? Often people say that means I'm wrong. And if I'm wrong, that means something's definitely wrong. If I'm wrong, then something is definitely not going right. Right? And the question is, you don't have to be right because there's no right. Everybody has different beliefs, different things. Your girlfriend and all of our best friends. My girlfriend. Yeah.

46:08Your girlfriend and all of our best friend, Jennifer Aniston, calls you her love. She calls you her love on social media. Can you just update all of us on the status of your relationship right now? um it's going really well my experience of her is um so grounded and so open and caring and kind and loving right and so she uses words like my love or you know and and she has this group of best friends that are like family um and so i feel incredibly blessed to be part and welcomed into that family. And I feel blessed to be in a relationship with someone that is so open-hearted and kind and loving.

47:04Have you felt loved and ushered in by all of Jennifer's friends? Yes. Such a beautiful community and group of people. it really speaks to her and them, you know, that everybody is so grounded, so kind. And it's not just to me. Yeah. There's a reason why that whole group and community is so beloved. You know, everything that kind of, it's all true. If this weren't true, I just wouldn't say anything at all because I would never say anything negative, but it is true. The first time I met Jennifer, I was blown away by how kind she was, you know, just kind and just loving and just like inclusive. Inclusive.

47:55Isn't that a beautiful thing? Really a model for how we can all be in this world. Right. And she has an opportunity. You would understand if she was less so. Of course. Yeah. I think that she is a real example of stepping into possibility. She came from living in New York and New Jersey, and there was this kind of household name and retained herself. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

49:03it can impact and change their life too. And if you love today's episode, please click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app you're listening to it on or watching it on. And if it added value to your life, if you could please give it a rating or a review, I'd be so grateful. Five stars is always good. And again, please share this with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Maybe someone you know is stuck or needing a reprogram or needing to release from fear. Maybe they're making a change in their career or their marriage or their health.

49:36Please post this episode and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

50:15Here, I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love. And I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.