Make Your Space Special! Superstar Designer Amber Lewis (Pt 2) Shares Insider Tips + Her Deeply Personal, Inspiring Journey to Skyrocketing Success

0:00Amber Lewis: Oh gosh.

0:01Jamie Kern Lima: Do you do this?

0:02Amber Lewis: Do you make people cry all the time? I can't believe I'm crying. Coming up in this incredible part two episode with Amber Lewis.

0:10Jamie Kern Lima: It's tough to talk about. MS gave me that perspective of just I have a different fire under my ass now. Really? Yeah, because tomorrow isn't a guarantee.

0:19Amber Lewis: Yeah. Wow. I'm so honored you're here. Thank you. Blessing all of us with your time. Thank you. right now. Amber Lewis is one of the most talented, buzzed about, and in-demand interior designers right now. And she is here in person today with you and me to help us curate our own spaces, make our homes more magical, more livable, and even more us. What would you say makes a home often look energetically off, even if someone spent a lot of money on the stuff in there? Honestly, when things are... Everyone wants to know what's your favorite white paint. I have a few go-tos, but one of my favorites is...

1:02Amber Lewis: The color around us can change how we feel. When it comes to kitchens, what's something that really, really matters and what's something maybe that people get wrong a lot? How do you make a small room look bigger? What is something that often people will DIY, but you're like, oh no, no, no, it's actually really worth... Even if you're on a tight budget, it's really worth spending the money of actually hiring someone to do it who really this is what they do. Honestly. Amber Lewis is a seasoned interior designer, founder of a full-service design firm, Amber Interiors, touting clients across the country.

1:37Amber Lewis: The genius behind the brick-and-mortar and online retail stores, Shop Amber Interiors. And as a result of her remarkable love from her customers and demand for her talents, in recent years, she's expanded her business into successful multi-year furniture, rug, textile, and decor collaborations with companies you love like Anthropologie, Lolloy, Visual Comfort, and more. She's published two bestselling books, Call at Home and Made for Living, and her brand new third book, a new home renovation and interior design book called Interiors, curated spaces from start to finish is available everywhere books are sold.

2:17Amber Lewis: And not only is she sharing answers to all of your most pressing design questions, she's also opening up like never before. We all go through things. We're all carrying things that no one can ever know or imagine unless they're inside our world.

2:33Jamie Kern Lima: It just very clearly just said, yeah, you just have MS. MS is invisible, and that is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. It's been a whirlwind. I've one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me bizarrely has been this diagnosis the perspective shift is something that you only get through a traumatic event it's not anything I would have ever thought I needed because I was on such a mission to grow and big big big next next next and all of a sudden you get sick and everything stops you are just in your body in your body that is failing you and you no longer are living for anybody else you're just trying to get through the day and that is something that I would have never known had I not been given the perspective of this disease I try to look at MS with a very day-to-day how am I feeling today if I let myself get too far ahead of myself with thinking about the future is when I tend to to kind of collapse a little and feel very overwhelmed.

3:42Jamie Kern Lima: I was with my ex from when I'm 22 years old. And our life was really his life. We'd built everything together. We were a really, really, really strong team. And we still are a very strong team. But marriage is tough. We went through a lot of trauma. Our married life was struggling. And it was really hard. It was horrible. It was the hardest thing I think I've ever gone through. Taking those hard looks at your life are some, it's when the most change and evolution happens. Getting sick, my whole rug was taken from underneath me. I had to look at every single thing. And the people in my life too.

4:27Jamie Kern Lima: I work with him every single day. He's my best friend. He's your best friend right now. And we love each other so much.

4:33Amber Lewis: Are you dating anyone now? Yeah. Do you think if you had never worked together, you'd still be married? Do you think if you had not been diagnosed with MS that you would still be married?

4:44Jamie Kern Lima: I do actually think that. Really? You have to look back at your partnership as well and think, well, this is why.

4:52Amber Lewis: You have a huge, thriving, avid fan community. I read that people have asked you to sign their chest. Their boobs. Their boobs.

5:00Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. Yeah.

5:01Amber Lewis: When people are often successful, usually it's not an accident. And to understand who Amber is, behind Amber, hearing how you've navigated really tough decisions. I mean, you're a badass. You're a badass and you're really tough and you're really ambitious and you're no joke. And seeing that side of you. I'm getting emotional now. Everyone else cries on my show, but I'm like crying right now because I'm just like, I love this. Oh, man. Oh, my God. It's like a therapy session, ma 'am. It's so beautiful. Oh, thank you. I am so excited for this conversation, and I'm so happy that you are here. Thank you so much for being part of the Jamie Kern-Lima Show podcast family.

5:41Amber Lewis: And if you haven't done this yet, can you take two seconds and hit the subscribe button on the app that you're listening or watching on? That way, you're going to be the very first to get every inspirational episode. Plus, you can get weekly inspiration into your inbox from me for free. Just join my newsletter at jamiekernlima.com. And thank you for sharing this episode with every single person that you know who might need some inspiration and hope today because we are all in this life together. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Oprah, how have you defied the odds? Her show is unlike any I've ever done.

6:20Amber Lewis: A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug. First Lady Michelle Obama. Jamie, you are going so deep. I have never had this in-depth conversation. I've actually never said that out loud to anybody in an interview before. You know how to get there. Your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow, Melinda French Gates. When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. Meghan, Duchess of Sussex.

6:53Jamie Kern Lima: I wasn't expecting that one.

6:55Amber Lewis: I could see the light around her. She's infused with light. Maria Shriver. I never made that mistake again. Imagine overcoming self-doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

7:14Jamie Kern Lima: Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life.

7:18Amber Lewis: Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. What would you say makes a home often look energetically off, even if someone spent a lot of money on the stuff in there?

7:36Jamie Kern Lima: Honestly, when things are too matching. I think when someone says they bought the nightstand to match the dresser that matches and everything is the same finish and everything is the same color, I say get a little funk in there. Get a little bit of a different finish or texture or color. because it does, that energetically feels too much like a showroom and you want, you know, we want to live in our spaces. Yeah. And know the people who live in the spaces.

8:03Amber Lewis: Right. Right. Do you have a favorite? So when you're picking a white paint for a wall or a white paint for a ceiling, do you have like a couple go-tos that are your favorite whites?

8:16Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. In my first two books and even in this one, I just go through like the gamut of my white because I get that ask all the time. Everyone wants to know what's your favorite white paint. I have a few go-tos, but one of my favorites is just, honestly, Benjamin Moore Swiss Coffee. It's a tried and true. It's warm. I paint it on a lot of ceilings. I paint it on a lot of trim and I paint it on a lot of walls. It's a good color, but there's so many whites out there.

8:45Amber Lewis: There's so many. One of my close friends, Victoria Jackson, who's done a number of houses, That's her favorite color, Swiss coffee.

8:51Jamie Kern Lima: It's Swiss coffee. It's just straight. And every brand does it a little bit different. So Dunn-Edwards Swiss coffee is a little different than Benjamin Moore Swiss coffee, which is a little different than like Bear Swiss coffee. So it's ridiculous, but every one is a little bit different. I like Dunn-Edwards and Benjamin Moore.

9:09Amber Lewis: Do you like, and the Swiss coffee Benjamin Moore, it's almost like it's white, but it's almost like a cream. Yeah, it's creamy.

9:16Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. Which is beautiful because you don't want something to feel so white that you're in an operating room. It's the same with lighting. You have to be very specific about really honing in on a warm tone light. And so you don't want your paint to feel cold and you don't want your lighting to feel cold. It's a little creamy. Have you heard of Windborne White? Yeah, it's great. It's fantastic by Farrow and Ball.

9:37Amber Lewis: And that one is – and then a lot of the more accessible companies have sort of been inspired by Windborne White and made a match. Yes. Okay. And that one's a little more white-white.

9:47Jamie Kern Lima: Wimborne is white, but it has a lot of yellow in it too. It has a lot of yellow, but like a good yellow. I've done a bunch of homes in the Wimborne. Oh, Farrow and Ball is another incredibly beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I could go on and on. I could write a whole, another whole book about just white paint. About white paint.

10:04Amber Lewis: Oh my gosh. Has anyone ever done that? I wonder. I'm sure. I'm sure. That's a good, I mean, that's important. I never understood why your white paint color matters because this is not my world and I totally get it because the color around us can change how we feel.

10:19Jamie Kern Lima: Well, and here's what's another really wild thing to think about is that some people will say, well, oh, okay, I did this white on the interior and then they'll go paint it on the exterior. Wrong. You have to think about the exterior in a totally different way than you do the interior because the exterior light is going to change seasonally and it's going to be different every single time of the day. And you can't just do a one size fits all. So that's a whole other kind of thought process and theory.

10:48Amber Lewis: I think about it all the time. What's so cool about this conversation is to be so granular about things. I think this is fascinating because when a regular person like me hops onto your Instagram and looks at something and I'm like, why does this look so good? But then you hear the thought behind all the things. And also just the reps you've put in over the years of figuring out why a white paint matters so much and how the color on the outside changes during different light and all of that. So super cool to hear about all of this. When it comes to people's kitchens, what's something that really, really matters and what's something maybe that people get wrong a lot.

11:32Jamie Kern Lima: Storage really, really matters. I am a big fan of hiding appliances because I love a clean looking kitchen, but a working kitchen. So I like when the appliances are behind cabinets if possible, but I love to see pots and pans. So it's like a very unique kind of flow. I want you to feel like you can use the space and you can use the kitchen, but I also like the idea of some of the uglier things like our appliances that we use every day to be behind a appliance garage. And I think a good range is a big, big worth, worth the money investment. A good range. A good, a good stove top oven range.

12:16Amber Lewis: Yes.

12:17Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. If you're remodeling a kitchen, that's choice number one, in my opinion. I think like one of the most important things is what is the range going to look like and then build around that. Is it kind of like the centerpiece? Yeah.

12:28Amber Lewis: Yeah. Jewelry. The jewelry. How do you make a small room look bigger?

12:34Jamie Kern Lima: Actually, by less. So I think one of the things is it's the other idea is that you would think if it's a small room, small furniture, I actually think the opposite of that. You actually want bigger furniture in a small room because it feels a little bit more cozy and intentional instead of it feeling super small and then you put super small furniture in it. And also you can't really, unless you want it to feel like a nook and a very kind of dark little hole, you always want to be a little bit brighter in a smaller room on the walls. So like whites, creams, try not to go too dark and heavy because I think sometimes that will make the space feel like a small little hole, cave.

13:16Amber Lewis: That's like how black pants make us look thinner and white pants bigger, like that kind of thing. Totally. That makes sense. Absolutely. Brighter, whiter colors. Yes.

13:24Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. And ironically, a little bit of a bigger furniture scale, I think is better.

13:30Amber Lewis: Yeah. That's so interesting because you'd think, oh, it's small. Let me get the smaller chairs. But yeah.

13:35Jamie Kern Lima: Probably smaller chairs, but I like when there's a little bit more upholstery. So if you're doing a living room that's small, I like the idea of a bigger sofa kind of filling the space a little bit more because it's kind of cozy. You're leaning into the fact that it's a small space.

13:48Amber Lewis: You know, there's so many YouTube videos and so many things out there on DIY and like doing things yourself and all that. And what would you say is something that – because there's, you know, designers, of course, and contractors, then there's subcontractors, and then there's just figuring out someone that is a professional who could do it, whatever it might be. What is something that often people will DIY, but you're like, oh, no, no, no. It's actually really worth – even if you're on a tight budget, it's really worth spending the money of actually hiring someone to do it who really this is what they do.

14:21Jamie Kern Lima: Honestly, the painting because I painted myself for clients when I first started in the very beginning. And I had to learn a technique that I didn't know. you use like solvents and you want, I think if you are painting something, it's kind of good to hire someone who has a little bit more experience than you with a paintbrush. I mean, you can do it, but I think DIYing, never DIY or paint your furniture. That's something you always want to outsource if you're going to repaint something. Painting.

14:50Amber Lewis: You know, that's funny you say that. I learned that the hard way recently, actually, where the company we hired didn't prime correctly. and every little crease, and they were so expensive by the way, I'm figuring it out what happened. But every corner and crease is cracking. And oh my gosh. And once you have things installed to have to redo it, it's such a nightmare. So that makes a lot of sense. So painting you think is worth it. Good quality painter and a good quality contractor go a long way. Okay. This is a big one for a lot of people because a lot of people will just grab, they'll order something online or they'll surf different furniture stores and they'll buy this or they'll buy that.

15:37Amber Lewis: When you have pets and you have kids or you just want to be able to put shoes on a couch and not worry about it, shoes on a sofa and not worry about it, what is the best fabric you would say for like a sofa that's the most durable for kids or pets, but still you'd love and feel chic? And, or do you Scotch guard things? What do you do to make something where you just don't have to worry about it?

16:02Jamie Kern Lima: Well, they make a lot of amazing fabrics now that are that indoor outdoor quality. So they have that stain guard in them, performance fabrics, but sometimes performance fabrics don't actually look like the beautiful hand kind of linen that I am drawn to, but companies are getting a lot better. So a performance fabric is great because you don't have to worry about it so much, but honestly, natural fabrics are really durable. I mean, they've been around for years. It's the same theory about people with natural stone in their kitchen. They freak out. I don't want it to stain. If you go to Europe and you look at everything everywhere.

16:38Jamie Kern Lima: It's all marble. It's the floors in the Vatican, like the ceilings, everything, it's marble. And it adds patina and character. You just have to get not precious about it and lean into the fact that it's going to get a little wear and tear. You have to be okay with that. So it's adapting your mind to the space. But I think performance fabrics, they're starting to get better ones, but ultimately I love a natural fabric and a wool. Wool rugs are beautiful and they actually wear pretty well. But the ones that we do with a little wear are great too.

17:10Amber Lewis: This is the most random question, but I think everyone wants to know this for their real life is do you have a favorite stain remover?

17:19Jamie Kern Lima: Honestly, the one that Resolve makes, it's like a pet and odor remover or Nature's Miracle. Both of those work fantastic. Nature's Miracle works pretty good on stains. On stains on all types of fabrics, like sofas or rugs. Yeah. I mean, just make sure don't quote me, but test it first. But yeah, I mean, so far so good. I've used it for years. I've got three cats, so.

17:44Amber Lewis: Okay. Yeah. You'd be mortified if you've seen some of the times I've tried to remove stains and I'll like create a bleach spot on a sofa or any of those. Hire a

17:53Jamie Kern Lima: professional when it comes to like bad ones, you just got to hire a stain pro.

17:57Amber Lewis: Yeah. To get it out. I want to talk about a lot of the things that maybe a lot of people are going to connect with that are, we all go through things. We're all carrying things that no one can ever know or imagine unless they're inside our world. You shared publicly about your MS diagnosis. And can you share a little bit with us about how you discovered it and how has it impacted your life, your business world, all of it?

18:35Jamie Kern Lima: MS is a funny disease. And I'll sort of preface it all by saying it's an invisible one. So one of the hardest things to live with is something that doesn't have a always visible. When we see someone that's in a wheelchair has a disability, you know they're struggling because it's identifiable to our eye. We know that they're going through something because we can see that they're going through something. MS is invisible, and that is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with because I can't and haven't always been able to come in straight hot to, Jamie, I don't feel good today because I have MS.

19:09Jamie Kern Lima: It's not as easy off the tongue as, say, a visible disability. So that has been the hardest struggle. I was diagnosed in 2020. So when the world was shutting down on March 9th, I got diagnosed. I lost all feeling. It started in my feet, went up to my knees, and eventually it was all the way up to my hips. And I went almost six, seven days without addressing it. I was on a path. I was working crazy. I was moving into a new home that I had been remodeling and basically knocked down to the nothing and rebuilt the whole entire thing. And that was happening that week, literally the week before the world shut down with COVID.

19:55Jamie Kern Lima: This is in 2020. And I had all of these symptoms and I was in such a habit of I came next, I came second, everything thing else came first. And I finally got to a point six or seven days in where I went to the doctor. They did all these tests and they said, you have to immediately go to the emergency room. So I went to the emergency room and I got all the tests and multiple MRIs. I got a spinal tap and all the test results came back and they just very clearly just said, yeah, you just have MS. And it was the moment that they told me that not only did it, I knew what it was because Ironically, my aunt has MS, so we had heard about it when I was growing up.

20:34Jamie Kern Lima: But I had no idea that what all the things were that were coming with that diagnosis. What was that going to do to my life that moment and then the next six years that I've been dealing with since that diagnosis? And it's been a whirlwind. I've one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me bizarrely has been this diagnosis the perspective shift is something that you only get through a traumatic event it's not anything I would have ever thought I needed because I was on such a mission to grow and big big big next next next. And all of a sudden you get sick and everything stops. You are just in your body, in your body that is failing you.

21:26Jamie Kern Lima: And you no longer are living for anybody else except for your own skin. You're just trying to get through the day. And that is something that I would have never known had I not been given the perspective of this disease. So it's been a journey. It's been a journey. It started me on a propeller, started me on a, on a trail of all kinds of big shifts happening in my life. It was really jarring, really crazy.

21:59Amber Lewis: Today, what is living with MS like? And what does, when you think about your future, what does that look like in terms of prognosis, in terms of how you anticipate it impacting your life?

22:13Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. I am a very positive human being. I'm a very driven and ambitious person, like I said. And I'm also very half full. My mentality is a very glass half full idea. So I try to look at MS with a very day-to-day, how am I feeling today? If I let myself get too far ahead of myself with thinking about the future is when I tend to kind of collapse a little and feel very overwhelmed. Because the other part about MS is it's completely unpredictable. And no two people with MS have the same symptoms or their lives look the same. I could be running marathons at 75 or I could be in a wheelchair. I'm unsure.

23:00Jamie Kern Lima: But I know that today I'm grateful that I get to sit with you. I drove myself here. I get to see my daughter later. I get to play outside. I can do whatever. I woke up and I can go for a walk. And so today I feel great. And today I'm living with MS that way. Yeah. Have I lived with it very dark and very horrible and symptoms like you can't believe that have just stopped me in my tracks? Yeah. And that's been really tough. But today I'm okay.

23:36Amber Lewis: Have you or are you exploring things that have been reportedly healing for other people like Joe Dispenza meditations or Dr. Gundry microbiome, things like that?

23:51Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah, 100%. So I've gone through the gamut of taking medication and going off medication. I've been recently went back on disease DMTs, they're called disease modifying therapies. And I went back on and because I might, I thought that I was bigger than the disease. And I was like, I'm going to get off everything and I'm going to go medicine free. And unfortunately, it progressed. depressed that said in the same time since I've been diagnosed to today my whole life has changed I pay attention to what I eat I pay attention to my supplements I do like a ton of vitamin d and I'm a very just mindful human every single day I kind of wake up with a little mantra that I tell myself today is a beautiful day today is a great day I try to impart that to my daughter give her all these beautiful like life lessons you know the rules I call them be sweet be kind be respectful be safe be honest those are the only things that we can control and it's how I live my life and I think it's probably mind over matter really helped me through dealing with the disease and and what because medicine aside there's you know there's only so much I do I've tried all the diets.

25:13Jamie Kern Lima: I've tried it all. And I, you know, it's, it's just kind of is what it is. Yeah. Do you meditate? I do. What does that practice look like for you? Nothing like what typical meditation looks like. It is truly, I take about 20, 25 minutes of drinking my coffee in bed in the morning and I just stare out the window, process my day, I try to calm my mind, chill my thoughts out. I like to know what I'm going to do. A lot of times I'll journal what I'm going to do in the day so I have it down on paper. And that's my form of meditation. Isn't coffee in the morning the best thing? It is. It's like my family.

25:54Jamie Kern Lima: I can't function without it. But also it has to be, it doesn't have to be, but I like to have my 20, 25 minutes in bed just by myself, quiet. It makes me happy. Are your cats there with you? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Obviously. And I'll wake up, I'll set my alarm early so that I can have 20 minutes of quiet with

26:14Amber Lewis: nobody. That's nice. With them, you shared shortly after, not too long after your MS diagnosis, you shared about a shift in a whole other area of your life online with your community. You have a huge thriving, avid fan community. I read that people have asked you to sign their bra, their chest, their boobs, their events. I mean, people are just, you have a lot of loyal, loving customers out there and fans. But you had a giant shift in your personal life shortly after MS. Can you share a little bit about your then husband and that big transition and what happened and where is it now?

26:57Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. So the journey of even getting to here was really so twisty and turny, but I was with my ex from when I'm 22 years old and our life was really his life. We did. He was a musician, a traveling musician. He's from the UK. So he came here. Literally, we moved to Santa Monica together and we were together ever since like really young. So 22, I got married at 25, had my daughter three days after or three days before I turned 28. So a life happened to me seemingly young. And it was always with me and my ex. I mean, we built everything together. We had all these hopes and dreams and ideas. And we were a really, really, really strong team.

27:44Jamie Kern Lima: And we still are a very strong team. But marriage is tough. It's really tough. And I think we went through a lot of trauma, a lot of traumatic events in his life, in my life, getting MS. And, you know, one of the bravest things I think the both of us ever did was to take a really long, hard look at the difference between a really great partnership and friendship and parent. Like we are solid and but our married life was struggling. And I think that the two of us took a really hard look at that and decided that we were better partners in life, just with a little bit of a different definition. And it was really hard.

28:33Jamie Kern Lima: It was horrible. It was the hardest thing I think I've ever gone through. But taking those hard looks at your life is when the most change and evolution happens.

28:52Jamie Kern Lima: And, yeah, I mean, getting sick, my whole rug was taken from underneath me. I had to look at every single thing and the people in my life, too, and how was this going to affect them and their happiness and their well-being. And I didn't ask for this. Nobody asked for this. and so uh when i was looking at how do we all thrive after the fact it was the hardest thing i've ever done but on it you know being honest about where we were in our marriage was was really tough but it had to happen and i work with him every single day he's my best friend yeah he's your best friend right now best friend and we love each other so much and we will always love each other, but that's the only thing that we can focus on is we are completely united as parents, completely united as business partners and our life partnership is we just don't live together and we're not married.

29:53Jamie Kern Lima: Do you, are you dating anyone now? Yeah. So is he. We have both been in relationships for a few years now. And, you know, it's really wild to think that that was ever going to be in our future.

30:09Amber Lewis: Yeah.

30:09Jamie Kern Lima: And it's difficult and hard, but we're like one big, bizarre Brady bunch. We all kind of hang out and do things for our kids when it matters most. We go to Disneyland and try to, we're all very cordial and happy, but yeah, I mean, it's just honoring who that, who your people are. And I think with my ex, I love and respect him so much that I love and he loves and respects me so much that we knew that, you know, our marriage had run its course, but that we're still really strong as parents and partners. Do you think if you had never worked together, you'd still be married? Oh, that's a good question.

30:55Um, no, no, I don't think so.

30:59Jamie Kern Lima: I think sometimes people grow together and sometimes people grow apart and like trees on a branch, your roots can be super solid and they can run very, very deep, but your branches are getting further and further apart. And I think that there was a moment in time where that was happening to both of us. And so we were honest enough with ourselves to honor that and, and yeah, and to move next chapter. And next chapter.

31:22Amber Lewis: And do you think if you had not been diagnosed with MS that you would still be married?

31:28Jamie Kern Lima: I do actually think that. Yeah. Mainly because I would have never had the perspective to realize that, you know, maybe I take that one back. That's a tough one to say because I think my MS just put a lot of things into perspective. And I think getting married very young and being together with someone for so many years, like it really just comes down to growth and where you're growing. and what you're like, okay, so you get to a halfway point in your life, turn 40 years old, what does the next 40, 50 years look like? And if it is with this person, we're growing together, right? We're going to be together and we're on the same path.

32:10Jamie Kern Lima: And our paths were different, same, same priorities, different paths. Our priority was our daughter. Our priority will always be our daughter. Our priority will always be our business. And those are the things that we fortify. And those are the things that we're excellent at. Our marriage wasn't a priority. It wasn't important. It became less and less important as our paths started to shift. That's something a lot of people can relate to.

32:39Amber Lewis: Yeah.

32:39Jamie Kern Lima: And it's tough to talk about because there's so much stigma attached to divorce and separation, especially when you're together with someone for 20 years. I mean, your whole life is that person. But there's also in the same way that MS gave me perspective shift, there was, I wasn't going to have this terrible, horrible divorce where it was knockout drag out fights where we hated each other. We didn't, we loved each other and we love each other, but it's identifying reality versus the fantasy, right? It's identifying your real life with this person versus what you want it to be.

33:20Amber Lewis: And did being diagnosed with MS make you evaluate energetically how do I feel in certain relationships and what do I want my day to look and feel like and what do I need?

33:33Jamie Kern Lima: Life is a gift. Every single day is a gift. and every day should be filled with fulfilling that gift of being here, which is striving for the next best, biggest thing. I'm a tough person. I mean, full disclosure, I'm a tough cookie because I am driven and ambitious and I want and I want and I want and I want to do more. And path and priorities. Path for my ex, he was cool. He was happy. He was settling. and I was like, I got to get, I got to be bigger and better in all aspects of my life. MS gave me that perspective of just, I have a different fire under my ass now. Really? Yeah. Because tomorrow isn't a guarantee.

34:24Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. Wow. And how I'm going to feel tomorrow is not a guarantee.

34:28Amber Lewis: I'm so honored you're here. Thank you. Blessing all of us with your time. Thank you. Right now. Can you tell us about your daughter, Gwyneth?

34:36Jamie Kern Lima: Yes, she is the light of my life. I could cry talking about her. You know, I didn't know what I was going to be. I didn't know what I was going to be good at. I was just kind of like, even though I had a purpose and I was driven in all these things and I knew I was good at something, there was so many moments in time when I was growing up that I was just kind of flailing. I didn't know. And having at a young age, my purpose was never more clear than after I had her. And I didn't really know that I wanted to be a mom. I didn't, I got married young and all these things. I didn't really have like that was going to be my plan.

35:18Jamie Kern Lima: But once it was my plan, I was, you know, ambitious to like make it perfect and all the things. And when I had her, it just, all what you thought went out the window. The amount of immense love that I have for her is nothing I could ever describe. She has given me a purpose beyond any material, beyond anything else, looking at the way that she's the human that she's becoming. and you know just her whole little existence is so it's the biggest heart-bursting thing you could ever experience and I just am just in awe of her every single day she's the greatest is she the best thing that's ever happened ever ever and it's funny too because you have to look back at your partnership as well and think, well, this is why, you know, there's so many other things that we succeeded at or failed at whatever, but she is the why she's the reason why we were together and why we came together.

36:29Jamie Kern Lima: I truly believe it because she's such a perfect being in the world, perfect being in the world. And she is, yeah, the light of my life.

36:38Amber Lewis: when you imagine Gwyneth 50 years from now and someone asks her about her mom what do you hope

36:46Jamie Kern Lima: she says I hope that she knows that I found oh gosh do you do this do you make people cry all the time. I can't believe I'm crying. I hope that she looks back at her mom and says, what a, what a lady. She was so passionate about everything she did. She was curious and she was engaged and she was driven and she was ambitious, all these keywords, but they really are who I am. And I hope that she takes a little bit of that in her own life. Yeah. She's really magical to that one. Yeah.

37:29Amber Lewis: I feel honored and grateful to be seeing all these layers to you today. And also to hear when people are often successful, usually it's not an accident. And to understand who Amber is behind Amber and to imagine you as a little girl and the things you went through and the things you're exposed to and like sewing pillows. I think you got a loan from your grandma or something trying to put your own pillow. And then just everything that you, but also hearing how you've navigated really tough decisions. I mean, you're a badass. You're a badass and you're really tough and you're really ambitious and you're no joke.

38:11Amber Lewis: And seeing that side of you. I'm getting emotional now. Everyone else cries on my show, but I'm like crying right now because I'm just like, I love this. And I'm thinking about your daughter. And I'm thinking about what a blessing that, you know, because a lot of things are caught, not taught to our kids and like what she's going to catch from you. You know what I mean? Like, look out world. Look out world with Gwyneth.

38:35Jamie Kern Lima: It's pretty amazing. She's going to do stuff that one. She's pretty magical. I know that's the best way to describe her. She's just, she's awesome. She's super cool. And you were saying you're 5 '8", but she's six foot. She's six foot tall. She's six foot tall. she it's so funny because like she's she's and she's gorgeous I mean she's absolutely gorgeous and she's just this own but her own little person she looks nothing like me or her dad but everything like her and her dad sometimes like her dad and I are totally different but we somehow look alike yeah it's one of those magical things and you see it in your kids and you just hope that they learn you know she's she's privileged beyond belief she has parents that love her so much she has grandparents that love her so much, family that love her so much.

39:19Jamie Kern Lima: She's gone around the world, this kid, she's done some pretty awesome things. And so that's just giving her those experiences are pretty awesome.

39:27Amber Lewis: It's funny you say that because when I do see her Instagram and I see her having all of these cool meals with you or going to different things or seeing different, I get so happy that she's so blessed to be exposed to so many things at such a young age. She is.

39:42Jamie Kern Lima: And I feel like it's formative. She's going to have these experiences and it's going to help her when she gets into the next phases of her life, be really identified to who she is. I mean, these are the things that are helping her form, you know, her, her humanity, her human

39:57Amber Lewis: experience. Well, also she's just like, I mean, I don't think I knew what the word patina meant till I was like 40. She's going to like be so chic and into everything.

40:06Jamie Kern Lima: She wants nothing to do with this business, by the way. Yeah. I think she's trying to tell her like, you're going to get into it, right? She's like, no, mom, I want nothing to do with it. I love that for her though. Yeah. What a badass for her. She's like, no, I don't want anything to do with it. To know what she wants. Yeah. Your dad. Or what she doesn't want. Yeah. Dad and I could hand it to you on a silver platter and she doesn't want it. Yeah.

40:28Amber Lewis: She's into sports. Into sports. So I want to ask you about your book. One of the things I love about interiors as you take us through a number of different projects start to finish. What really inspired this book? Who is it for? And for the person who's listening or watching us right now, what can they expect to get out of it and to experience through it when they get it home? Besides the fact it's gonna look really good on their coffee table.

40:56Jamie Kern Lima: I want people to open the book and earmark it, put Post-it notes, write notes, Take little snippets from every single page. I think one of the things and one of the biggest compliments I've ever received as weirdly to put this on my title as an author is that I learned so much from your book. And I think with interiors, that was the goal is to read every, you know, four or five years, I'm learning things every single day. And that's knowledge that I want to give to the reader. I want someone to understand the process of what it is to create your interior, your interiors. Like what does that feel like?

41:35Jamie Kern Lima: How do I, where do I start? And what is a process I could follow? What are some tangible things I could take away? And in this book, that's what I've given, again, I've given the ability to take these six Ps to really look at the process, look at, you know, understand that there's emotions that come with it. And you're going to start somewhere and you're going to end somewhere. and every single page, you're going to be able to get something from it. That's my hope. Yes. I love that. Like bookmark it, earmark it, all of it. Write on it for all I care. Like just, you know, get a post-it note or two.

42:11Jamie Kern Lima: Nothing makes me happier than when I see my books that have a million post-it notes in it coming out the top. Those little stickers. I love it. I love it with like earmarks or folds or whatever. It's great.

42:23Amber Lewis: Well, you can get your copy of Interiors, Curated Spaces from Start to Finish by Amber Lewis. And we're going to also link to the book. We're going to link to your online shop. If you are ever in California, you've got to go into one of her stores. I'm sure you're going to expand beyond California as well. And so many of your collaborations, I've already just gone down the rabbit hole on long before we ever met because I was so inspired by them. And I love when someone has so much talent that I don't have. And I'm like, oh, I would never know how to create a rug this beautiful, but this looks so great.

42:56Amber Lewis: And what a great price. And my dogs can like just all of it. And I'll just go down the rabbit hole. And I have to say, meeting you is even has far exceeded any expectations. Thank you for sharing your heart today and for just being here on the show and letting us get to know even more of you. And definitely everyone go to her Instagram, which we'll link to also, because it just makes your day a little bit more inspired. and thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. I can't believe I cried, but here we are.

43:25Jamie Kern Lima: Here we are, Amber Lewis. Thank you, Amber Lewis. Oh man, it's like a therapy session, ma 'am. It was so beautiful. Oh, thank you. So beautiful, yeah. Wild, wild journey I've been on this one.

43:42Amber Lewis: Yeah, also you're so young and doing so much. Holy moly. Thank you. Holy moly. Remember, this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know because it can impact and change their life too. And if you loved today's episode, please click the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app you're listening to it on or watching it on. And if it added value to your life, if you could please give it a rating or review, I'd be so grateful. We love a good five star around here. And again, please share it with everyone you know. Share it with another person whose life could benefit from it.

44:17Amber Lewis: Maybe you know someone making a change in their life or their home, or just they need a little shift in their environment. You can share it with others online in your community who just might need the words and tools and tips and lessons and talent and genius in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. But before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy, the most worthy. You are worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world.

44:57Amber Lewis: And it is an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show here. I hope you'll come as you are, heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you'd like. Because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are loved. And I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.