826: A Shoplifter's Craving for Felonious Savings | Feedback Friday

23:49And then you'll know that things won't always be this intense and maybe that'll make the sacrifice even easier. Good point. That might be the ideal situation. Just a short-term sprint, make some great money, then rebalance your life. That's often the beauty of 1099 work. But hey, congrats on getting all these offers. It's really exciting. I love that you're in a position to make some great money and to keep building your cred. Only you can decide what you can handle, but I would definitely consider these jobs. And hey, If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And you can always drop one of the jobs.

24:21Maybe the best approach is to treat this as an experiment and just see what happens. Nothing wrong with having some fun with your career, making some more money, finding out what kind of lifestyle you really want. Good luck. And I hope you're as overjoyed as you are overemployed. By the way, Gabe, Scott Galloway on this show in other places has talked about work-life balance. And he said something along the lines of, if you want work-life balance and financial success in your 40s and 50s, you can't really have work-life balance in your 20s and 30s. And it's an uncomfortable truth because the new sort of gen whatever, they're all kind of like, but I want to fart around a lot and do digital this and that, Nomad, and not only work 10 hours a week.

25:05And that's cool. You can do that. It does work. The problem is you probably aren't going to build, just statistically, it's already hard even if you do sacrifice a decade or two to build a multi-million dollar business where you can really have the level of success that most people want and then also work a lot less in your 40s and 50s, you're going to have a much, much harder time doing that when you're working 10 or 20 hours a week instead of 60 like other people who are trying to do the same thing. So keep that in mind because maybe right now you do need to bust your ass constantly and not have any balance and not see your friends that much and et cetera, et cetera, in order to hit certain goals.

25:42I'm not saying that's the case for this gal, but I just want to highlight that I'm not saying like, oh man, make sure that you are living this way with tons of free time or make sure you're prioritizing all these other things. You may indeed regret sacrificing it or not, but you're probably not going to have work-life balance throughout your whole career. And sometimes that's okay. By the way, Scott Galloway, episodes 204 and 734. He's been on the show a bunch, I thought, more than that, but maybe not. You can reach us Friday at jordanharbinger.com. Please keep your emails concise. Use a descriptive subject line that makes our job a whole lot easier.

26:15If there's something you're going through, any big decision you are wrestling with, or if you just need a new perspective on stuff, life, love, work, what to do if your boyfriend is twice your age and you're second guessing the relationship, whatever's got you staying up at night lately, hit us up Friday at jordanharbinger.com. We're here to help and we keep every email anonymous. Okay, next up. Hi, Jordan and Gabe. After divorcing my ex, I met a guy who is very kind. He cared for me, made me feel important and took care of me through a recent health issue. Although I know he's a wonderful person, there's always a lingering thought that I am ultimately the caretaker.

26:51I worked hard and am now close to meeting my financial goals. I'm not well off, but I'm also not broke. But my kind boyfriend is financially clueless. After more than two years of trying to look for a job close by, he moved to a city four hours away by plane. I can work remotely, but I can't move due to my custody schedule. We only see each other every four to six weeks. If we do ever start living together, I will likely have to share my assets. For example, if we get a house together, I'll have to buy it for us, and he'll contribute by working on the house. He is a good handyman, and he does a lot of fixing and cleaning.

27:25After my divorce, I really struggled financially, supporting my ex through child support and alimony because he just couldn't get a decent job. My father was also a financially irresponsible man, and I don't have a financially strong male figure in my life. The thought that I may now have to include another person in my financial plan makes me anxious. I'm barely holding things together, largely for my kids. Am I being materialistic or is it time for us to part ways? In a relationship, is kindness a currency? Signed, a perturbed partner petrified by these pecuniary problems. Ooh, interesting question and it's a tough one because this really does come down to your values, your needs, what you feel is important in a relationship.

28:12And it's also tough because it sounds like your new boyfriend is a solid guy. Not great in the financial department maybe, but he's kind, he's caring, he took care of you through a recent health issue. These are obviously important qualities and I'm glad you've chosen a decent person. Congrats. So there's a practical aspect to this and then there's a more psychological aspect to this. On the practical side of things, yeah, it's obviously a concern. It's not necessarily a deal breaker, but it's something to really consider. Because like you said, the thought of including another person in your financial plan, it makes you anxious.

28:45You're barely holding it together. You got your kids to worry about. So if supporting a partner who can't or won't pull his own weight is going to compromise you, and by that I don't just mean make you stress a little, but it's doable. I mean actually put you guys in a tough position, maybe even deprive your kids of the resources they need and they deserve. then I do think it's worth pausing and considering whether this is the right move. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean you have to break up with this guy. He could still be a part of your life, but with different terms. Maybe you guys keep dating for a while with clear expectations.

29:18See if he gets his stuff together on the job front. See if the relationship lasts long distance. See if things continue without the financial element in the mix. That'll also help you decide, well, it'll help both of you decide, actually, which qualities of his are most important in your relationship. A lot of your concerns are about what might happen in the future if you start living together, if you buy a house together. But right now, he's four to six hours away by plane, which, by the way, that is, what is that? That's like across Canada or whatever, the United States. He's struggling to find a job.

29:52You've got this very full life. This might be getting ahead of yourself a little. I don't mean to say, like, gosh, that's too far to make it work, but you might want to slow things down a bit, see how things go. Totally fair. I mean, that's like living in Hawaii or something. On the more psychological side of things, I think you see that dating men who struggle financially, it's a pattern. Your ex couldn't get a decent job. You supported him after the divorce. Your new boyfriend is financially clueless. He's struggling to find a job. And your father was financially irresponsible, which I'm sure was a very formative model.

30:23So this obviously raises the question, why? And maybe more important for you right now, what is having to care for other people, men especially, bring up for you? How does it make you feel? What role does it put you in ultimately? And does it maybe even feel kind of familiar and comforting in addition to being frustrating? What is possibly being a caretaker accomplished for you? Obviously, only you can answer those questions. But if you want to figure out whether this financial thing means you're just the more successful partner or you're kind of caretaking. Those are a few questions that I'd be asking.

30:56Gabe, I'm so curious to know what it is about this financial caretaking thing and that feels so compelling to her. Obviously, her childhood played a big role in that. But why is it happening again with this new guy? I'm not quite sure. So interesting. It is hard to say because these things are obviously they're very subtle and nuanced and they're very personal. But there was one thing she mentioned in her letter that might be a clue. I think she said that her boyfriend is very kind. He cared for me and he made me feel important. Okay. Yeah. So it's interesting. There are two ways to read that, right?

31:29One way is that this guy just is really a solid, decent, loving person. He's thoughtful. He's kind. He's making her a priority in his life, which I mean, if that's what's going on, I think it's wonderful. The other way to read it is that our friend here has a very strong need to feel important. and this guy is fulfilling that need, which means that, hey, she might be willing to support him financially or to cut him a lot of slack and discount his professional troubles because it feels so gratifying to feel important to somebody. And look, I don't want to speculate too much here because I know we're kind of reading in, we're reading between the lines, right?

32:05But that could be another legacy of having the father she did. Right, so are you saying that her boyfriend knows he's doing that or what? No, not quite. It's hard to say. I don't know if he's consciously going, my girl likes to feel important, so I'm going to make her feel important. So she'll buy me a house one day. It's possible, but I mean, I guess that's theoretically possible, but we don't know. And I don't necessarily get that sense. Probably what's happening is something much more unconscious, like her unconscious need to feel loved and important and prioritized by somebody might be intersecting with his potentially unconscious need to take care of somebody else and be supported by them, too.

32:46One, that's fascinating. And two, I guess it makes sense, right? Because if the dude's a grifter, he's probably not like, okay, now I'm going to move six hours away by plane. It's like most of these grifter, predator, financial guys, they move in and they leech off you every single day. Yeah. So in a way, they might both be caretakers just in different ways. She with the money, the responsibility, he with the attention, the kindness. It's like a Lego. It's like Legos that fit together, puzzle pieces. Yeah, that's a great metaphor. It's, you know, like she said, is kindness a currency? Interesting question.

33:15It's an interesting word to use, although I know what she's getting at. But, you know, Gabe, part of me wants to say, is that so bad? Is it really so bad in a relationship if one person provides one kind of value and the other person provides another kind of value as long as they're happy? I mean, I feel like if the roles were reversed, if this is a guy saying, yeah, you know, my wife, she's amazing. She cares for me. I was really sick and did that. But our house is awesome and everything. But I make more money than her. Everybody be like, and right. But since it's a woman and a guy, it's like, why is everything dysfunctional?

33:46I make more money than him and he's not good with money. I guess not making money, not being good with money are two different things. But it's again, if the roles were reversed, I think people would have a totally different view of maybe this couple in the situation. It's a very fair question. So my take is it's not bad if they're both doing it with a lot of awareness about how those roles and how those dynamics operate in their relationship and they're communicating well about all of it. And right now, she's not totally happy because she finds herself taking care of yet another guy and maybe wondering, hey, why is it, you know, why is that the case?

34:21Why does this keep happening to me? And that's understandably stressful. It's creating some fear. It's, I think, maybe creating a little bit of resentment on her part. And it's clearly echoing her past and tapping into needs that she might not fully appreciate. So my advice is dig into that. Figure out what role your boyfriend is really playing for you, what role you're really playing for him, and what needs you guys might be meeting in each other, and what needs you guys are somehow interestingly revealing in the process of dating and making all of these arrangements. I personally don't think you're being materialistic for wondering whether you should support your boyfriend.

34:58Money is obviously a concern. It's a practical reality. It's important. And you have your children to prioritize, and it's not clear if your boyfriend is really taking care of himself the way he should. I mean, these are all perfectly valid concerns. I think what's really happening, though, is that this money stuff is very charged for you, as it is for most people. And there's a part of you that's going, you know, it's not feeling right, and it feels very familiar. It's not sitting well with me. In one way, it feels very good, and in another way, it doesn't feel good. And I don't know what to make of that.

35:29And when you have that thought, and when you have that feeling, I think it's absolutely worth exploring them and figuring out what is going on underneath. And then you can decide for yourself what's really important in the relationship. Agreed, Gabe. I think if she explores that alone and with her boyfriend, and maybe even with a therapist, if she can swing it, she'll start to get clear on why she's drawn to people like this and what she really wants out of a relationship. And if she gets to a point where she goes, you know, I'm okay being the primary breadwinner as long as my boyfriend is holding up his end of things in XYZ ways.

36:00is it's more important to me that he's kind and loving. Okay, great. If she's comfortable with that, she sees how it works. They're both on the same page. I just, I don't think it's necessarily a problem, assuming he's not taking advantage of her or she's doing something she doesn't want to do. So yes, I do think kindness is a currency in a relationship. Everything is a currency, if you want to think of it that way. But the more interesting question is, why does that currency have so much value in your specific personal economy? And what is your boyfriend using it to buy, so to speak. Answer those questions and you'll get to some really important insights.

36:35So sending you good thoughts, wishing you and your family and your super long distance boyfriend all the best. You know who won't take kindness as a form of payment, Gabriel? The amazing sponsors that support this show. We'll be right back. If you like this episode of Feedback Friday and you found our advice valuable, I invite you to do what other smart and considerate listeners do, which is take a moment and support our amazing sponsors. All of the links, all the discount codes, all the deals and ways to support the show are at jordanharbinger.com slash deals. You can also search for any sponsor using the AI chatbot on the website as well.

37:07Thank you so much for supporting those who support the show. It does keep us going and it makes it possible for us to continue creating these episodes week after week. Now, back to Feedback Friday. Okay, next up. Hey, Jordan and Gabe. I'm a 26-year-old woman and nine months ago, I started a job in an industry that I'm I'm working toward getting out of. For the first three months, my small team didn't have a direct manager, but then they hired one, which I thought would be great and give us some much-needed guidance and contact. But this manager is actively detrimental to my workday. Every problem he gets involved with becomes more difficult than it needs to be.

37:47On more than one occasion, he's deflected my questions by telling me to ask people in other departments who obviously wouldn't know the answer. If I press him for an answer, he'll do just about any kind of verbal trick to avoid having to make a decision himself. All the responsibility is shifted to us, often by making us guess at answers, at which point he'll then agree to quote-unquote whatever the team thinks. He also adds steps to solutions that aren't necessary and consistently shows that he doesn't know the basics of what the team does every day. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt at first.

38:19I know adjusting to a new job can be difficult, but six months in, I'm beginning to doubt that this will ever change. Even more frustrating, he's now started calling himself my mentor. This was unprompted, and frankly, unwanted. And as my quote-unquote mentor, he likes to use meetings with me to tell me about his career goals, his past work experience, and how difficult his current job as my manager is. I tried really hard to like this guy, but the mentor-mentee relationship that he's trying to force on me is really frustrating. Between the quote-unquote mentoring and never getting a direct answer when I need help, it all feels kind of patronizing.

38:59I'm now considering switching jobs. I wanted to wait on a job change until I could make it an industry change too, but I'm not quite there yet, and I won't be for at least another year. Is there anything I can do to make this dynamic more bearable? Do I give this guy feedback on his whole approach and relationship with me? Or should I just polish up my resume and start looking? Signed, tormented by this Tor mentor. Ah, this is so infuriating. This guy, he's so cringe. First of all, the worst manager ever. Worst manager ever. Can't lead to save his life. But then he turns around and he's like, hey, little lady, lucky you.

39:38I'm going to be your new mentor right i can just see just bold highlight underlining italicizing that word now sit back and enjoy this 45 minute story about the time i closed a six thousand dollar client at the hilton garden inn in orlando in 2003 jesus oh hilton garden inn what by the way nice callback excellent cookies from what i hear that's right and you know this guy be eating all the damn cookies at the hilton garden and then telling our friend here why they have the perfect chocolate chip to oatmeal ratio i could just hear this guy giving her a detailed analysis of like every mid-tier corporate hotel chains cookie recipes yes while he tries to like guide her career under the guise of the recipes ridiculous it's very michael scott of him this whole thing i'm not charming or kind at all no true as she nods off in her chair from just across from him just dying and being like i thought I thought I was going to get out early today, but now I'm being mentored.

40:35By the way, that is what being mentored is, right? Telling your employees about every hotel cookie you ate since like 9-11. I remember it like it was yesterday. And I remember where I was. It had walnuts and raisins and cranberries and that crunch. You sound like you're on The Laughing Goss again. It's wonderful. Yeah, I know. Definitely worth 45 minutes of her time, that story, whatever that is. Anyway, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this guy. It sounds like, first of all, he's very insecure. He can't read the room really at all. He's probably super lonely. He's obviously hopeless as a manager.

41:10And he just, he wants to feel important and valuable. So it really, all of this is very Michael Scott. This guy's a complete wanker. We wanted to run this by an expert. So we reached out to Alyssa Cohn, startup coach, investor, and author of the book, From Startup to Grownup. She's been an expert on the show for a while, a friend of mine for a long time. And Alyssa confirmed that, yeah, you're in a real pickle over there. By the way, Hilton Garden Inn, great pickles. But what she likes about your situation, and she encourages you to embrace this, is that you have clarity. You have a manager who, for whatever reason, just isn't cutting it.

41:46You got some pretty strong evidence that he's probably not going to be open to feedback. This guy sounds like just the last person you want to actually even try to get feedback to. So in Alyssa's view, it's good to know that you don't need to waste your breath here. You can take comfort in that fact and use all your anger, your irritation, your frustration, use all of that as fuel to do the one thing that you can do, which is just get yourself out of there. And that's precisely Alyssa's advice. In fact, she said that if you were her client, she'd work with you to look at your schedule and carve out at least five hours a week to focus on getting out of that role and into something that'll work a lot better for you.

42:26You guys would fill that time with things like getting to know as many people inside of your company as you can so you can possibly change departments, meeting new people in other companies to possibly find other opportunities there, identifying some marketable skills that will help bridge you to another role, taking courses, reading books to learn those skills, maybe even volunteering in a professional organization to hone some skills that you're not able to practice in your current job, along with meeting even more people. And to quote Alyssa here, remember that the most likely way you'll get your new job is through your network.

42:59So build it now. And that's interesting. That sounds so familiar. It's almost as if every expert out there is saying the same thing, which is that you've got to dig the damn well before you are thirsty. Wise words. Now, about the industry move, we're not sure exactly which industry you're trying to move into, obviously. But Alyssa's question there is, are you sure that you're not ready to make that move? Is there maybe an interim move you could make that would get you closer to the industry you would like to be in just as a starting point? Because in her experience, every industry has certain aspects where you could use, you know, transferable skills to move into job opportunities.

43:34Like, you know, there are all these skills that are very general in nature, project management, marketing, finance. Those are very flexible skills and they're valuable in a lot of different roles. Making that kind of move would allow you to get your foot in the door somewhere else and be in a good position once you've finished whatever training or prep that you're working on now to help you get ready. At the same time, Alyssa said you should see if you can find another job in another department at your company just to get away from this dude. If there don't seem to be openings inside of your current company, maybe try to take your experience to a new company.

44:06That might be the move. But either way, to quote Alyssa here, the person who cares the most about your happiness and your satisfaction and your career is you. So you have to take control. And I gotta say, I really appreciate that Alyssa brought that up because I think sometimes these little crises, they have a way of forcing us to confront certain assumptions about our careers, about our lives that feel very fixed. And in your case, that might be the idea that it's going to take at least a year for you to make a move. Or it might be the belief that you don't have valuable skills yet, or that you can't begin laying the pipe for this transition starting now.

44:42These are all really good assumptions to investigate. Because once you dig into them or you start working on them or you just look at things in a new way, you might find that they aren't 100 % true and you can start making moves now. I agree completely. Those ideas you have about how things should go, they can really often hold you back from making a great move a lot sooner. Alyssa's last piece of advice while you're working on getting away from your mentor, it's important to remember not to get negative. Even if people around you are commiserating with you, validating you, maybe they're even egging you on to complain about this guy, Alyssa's advice is not to take the bait.

45:17Do not do it. If you build a reputation at work for being positive and solutions-oriented, if you focus your extra energy not on gossiping but on offering value to your colleagues and getting to know people outside of your circle, you'll create a much better chance at getting yourself out of this situation, which is the most important goal. Also, I just think that's really sound advice. personally, I don't know if I could follow that advice because it's so tempting to not do that. But it's not just practically, psychologically, complaining about a person or a situation, I know firsthand it can really drag down your mood.

45:48It can drag down your thinking. It can keep you stuck. It can sap your enthusiasm and creativity and your positivity, all of which you actually need now more than ever to make this move. I'm not saying you can't do some healthy and legitimate griping sometimes. Just be very disciplined about your thoughts and your behavior when it comes to this guy. I mean, maybe if you got a friend or a roommate or a boyfriend, whatever, maybe vent to them and just stay away from the people at work doing it. So there you have it. Take control of your career, build your network, build your reputation. And as Alyssa put it to us, one day when you're a manager yourself, you'll be able to use this experience to be a real mentor to other people.

46:25And unlike Mr. I closed a client at the Orlando Hilton Garden urinal over here, you're not gonna inflict your war stories on people. you'll actually help them and you'll probably find that super rewarding. Big thanks to Alyssa for her help on this one. We're gonna link to Alyssa's book and her podcast from Startup to Grownup in the show notes, along with her five scripts for Delicate Conversations PDF. Highly recommend all those. I hope this helps. You know what? I guess that means we are your mentors now. So go ahead and schedule our next meeting. I had some snickerdoodles back in 08 and you have to hear about it.

47:01All right, what's next? Hey Jordan, I genuinely love your podcast. I've listened to several hundred of them, and I consistently take notes on your best interviews. However, I've recently been really bothered by how frequently you consistently tout capitalist talking points. The CCP is authoritarian and dystopian, there are people who pathologically can't take responsibility, and so on. I need to send this feedback because it's getting harder and harder to listen to this podcast because it's starting to sound like Red Scare propaganda. This is problematic to me because there's numerous issues with capitalism, like the disproportionate consolidation of wealth and power, the political corruption that comes from lobbying, the disregard of the environment for profit's sake, and the commodification of basic human needs.

47:48I could go on, but my point is I'd like to ask you to have a couple of reasonable leftists on so that you can take in new perspectives, offer these perspectives to the world, and potentially make a huge change for the sake of my personal value, which is human thriving. As I grow and learn about more nuanced positions, I'll probably just drop your podcast entirely because I do want to listen to other ones. I know I'm just one person and my view doesn't have that much sway, but it's all I have. Signed, not trying to bitch, but might have to ditch this capitalist-ish. Well, look, thank you for the kind words and for listening to the show.

48:25I do appreciate that. And I genuinely love when people from across the political spectrum listen to this show. That's kind of the whole idea. So I find this critique very interesting. I can certainly appreciate where you're coming from. I know you're coming from a good place. I don't know if these arguments quite hold up. They certainly don't support the conclusion that you seem to be coming to. First off, China is indeed an authoritarian state and in many ways dystopian. Not sure that one is even up for debate. Capitalism definitely has its issues, for sure. Not denying that whatsoever. But isn't that just whataboutism?

49:01You're basically saying, okay, China might be a little sketch, but what about American capitalism? And it's like, yeah, sure, we can talk about American capitalism's flaws, absolutely. But what we're talking about is the fact that the CCP, the Chinese Communist Party, is literally committing genocide and surveilling its people and participating in organ harvesting. And even if another country were also doing that, we're also just focusing on that right now. And that's fair. But look, let's grant that capitalism has some serious issues, which, by the way, I agree with a lot of what you said. But you realize that any issues with capitalism, China also has those in spades, right?

49:38Those communists are the most capitalistic of all. But since they're largely in denial of that system, the capitalist system, which, by the way, is the greatest engine for upward mobility in human history. They're just having their economic cake and eating it, too. And because they're authoritarian, they're not keeping it in check even a little bit. Many of the same issues plague China's system as well, except for they're way worse. I think when we look at disasters that happened in, say, the Soviet Union or China, the way that the environment is treated in those countries, is it better than it is in the United States or is it worse?

50:10I think we know that it's much, much, much, much worse. As for the Red Scare stuff, China isn't a dystopian state in many ways simply because of communism. It's dystopian because it has a dictator, because it is a dictatorship. It's capitalist in everything but name. And I know it's easy to be like, oh, this guy says China's bad. It's because he thinks capitalism is amazing and he hates China and he hates communism. No, I just don't like dictators. Syria probably isn't a great place to live either. They just don't have the resources to control and surveil their population. so they just murder everyone instead.

50:45So the Red Scare claim? Eh, it's kind of just BS in my opinion. My objections to China aren't because it's China, per se, but because I abhor totalitarianism and authoritarianism in pretty much all its forms. It just so happens that China is one of the most frightening and powerful totalitarian regimes around right now. And again, once again, nothing to do with the Chinese people, always the government. It's one of the top regimes exerting the most influence around the globe right now, and in many ways, a very negative influence. As for diving into politics more explicitly on the show, well, it's funny you said, I would like you to do this because of my values, but I'm going to leave that aside because that request is, the way you phrased it is kind of ridiculous, but I'm going to leave that aside because I know what you mean.

51:28I'm definitely not going to be doing this. It's been a hard rule since the start. No leftists, no rightists. I don't even want centrists if the episode is going to be about politics. People listen to us to get away from that stuff. The last thing I'm going to do is dive into political drama just to supposedly balance the show for people who want to hear something political that they can get literally anywhere else. But of course, some of our guests have obvious political leanings. I won't deny that. But generally, we don't talk about their policy positions. We're talking about what concrete skills or perspectives they can teach our audience, which, by the way, I don't always agree with, which I don't expect the audience to agree with either.

52:09For me, this is all about opening up our thinking and encountering different points of view. And I always get a little chuckle out about the people who crap on me for having Senator Barbara Boxer on the show and said nothing about Oliver North or the people that blew up when I had Oliver North on the show, but had no problem when I had people on the other side of the aisle, like Barbara Boxer on. For me, it's all about those different points of view, or at least appreciating how the quote unquote enemy thinks if you're really that partisan. But also, hey, we do tons of episodes on capitalism. You said you love the show.

52:41I just interviewed Siddharth Kara on frigging cobalt mining, how 75 % of the world's supply of cobalt is mined by peasants and children in the Congo and subhuman conditions and how that industry is driving deforestation and pollution and birth defects and human misery of all sorts. I interviewed John Perkins, the so-called economic hitman, about how corporations and governments coerce developing countries to auction off their rainforests and their mines at bargain basement prices. The list goes on and on. So I'm not sure where the whole Jordan is an unapologetic right wing capitalist shill thing comes from.

53:16I think people miss certain episodes or maybe they just hear what they want to hear because they want to hear more of their extreme political ideology or not extreme political ideology on the show. So when you say that you're going to drop the podcast entirely because of this? Well, it's a bummer and it makes me a little sad. It sounds to me like you no longer want to listen to something you've learned a ton from because you disagree with some of what you perceive as my, frankly, unstated political beliefs. So my question for you is, is that really a healthy mindset to have? Is it wise to expect every podcast you encounter to cater to the beliefs that you already have and or change to do so?

53:58What would you tell somebody who said the same thing to you. And by the way, there are tons of podcasts out there that do delve into all the stuff that you stated that you want to hear and that are more explicitly political slash left-leaning. And that is great. Seek out the information you want. But I wouldn't try to require a podcast you already love to cover what you want to hear just because you already believe it. If you drop the show, I'll be bummed, but please remember who loses here, what you lose, and why you are losing it. And despite how worked up I might sound right now, I say that with lots of love and appreciation for your letter and with the sincere hope that you'll stay in our show family even if you don't agree with everything that you hear.

54:38I don't mean to sound self-important, but I really do feel that in today's world, we need to remember that agreeing with every position, it's not a condition for participation or enjoyment or value. In fact, quite the opposite. It's just all ideas. Because here's what I do know. You'll never lose with an open mind. Hope y 'all enjoyed that. I want to thank everyone who wrote in this week and everyone who listened. Thank you so much. Go back and check out Ozan Varol if you want to become a better thinker. Really sharp dude. If you want to know how I managed to book all these great people and manage my relationships using software systems and tiny habits, these are really, really useful skills, folks.

55:14It's our six-minute networking course. That course is free because I'm a great capitalist. It's free over there on the Thinkific platform at jordanharbinger.com slash course. I'm teaching you how to dig the well before you get thirsty and build relationships before you need them. The drills take a couple minutes a day. I really wish I knew this stuff 20 years ago. It's all at jordanharbinger.com slash course. A link to the show notes for the episode can be found at jordanharbinger.com. Transcripts in the show notes, advertisers, deals, and discounts, ways to support the show are all at jordanharbinger.com slash deals.

55:46Go try the AI chatbot at jordanharbinger.com slash AI. I'm at jordanharbinger on both. The branding is just hitting you in the face. I'm at Jordan Harbinger on both Twitter and Instagram, or maybe I am a capitalist. Yeah, I was just about to say, what a capitalist show you are, Jesus. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn. You can find, by the way, all banned in China, free capitalist society. You can find Gabe on Instagram, also banned in China, at Gabriel Mizrahi, or on Twitter at Gabe Mizrahi. This show is created in association with Podcast One, which is a website you can't get to in China.

56:18My amazing team, and I'm serious about that. I checked. It's blocked. My amazing team is Jen Harbinger, Jace Sanderson, Robert Fogarty, Ian Baird, Millie Ocampo, and of course, comrade slash capitalist pig, Gabriel Mizrahi. Our advice and opinions, those are our own. And I'm a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. Do your own research before implementing anything you hear on this show. Ditto Alyssa Cohn. Dr. Kodum's input is general psychological information based on research and clinical experience. It's intended to be general and informational in nature. it does not represent or indicate an established clinical or professional relationship with those inquiring for guidance.

56:51You can learn more about Dr. Kodum and his practice at copepsychology.com. Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love. And if you found it... That sounded a little communist. I just got to say, I don't know, I'm a little bit confused now by your ideology here. We rise by lifting others. I mean... Power to the people, Gabriel. I'm just very confused about your personal beliefs. I just, they're all over the map here. You know what I should do? I should just conform my beliefs to what you want them to be. And then you will stay as a subscriber to the show. That's the easiest way for me to go about this.

57:21Share the show with those you love. And if you found the episode useful, please share it with somebody else who can use the advice we gave here today. In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you listen. And we'll see you next time, unless you unsubscribe. Here's what you should check out next on The Jordan Harbinger Show. What I tried to do was thank a thousand people who had even the smallest role in making my cup of coffee possible. And a thousand you go, oh, that's not a lot. It's a that's a lot. Oh, my God. It was a lot. A hundred people would be a tedious.

57:54No, it was it was way more than I anticipated. Ten times that many. Everything we do requires hundreds, thousands of interconnected people and that we take for granted. it. And just making this mental switch, just from a selfish point of view, is very good, because it really does help you appreciate the hundreds of things that go right every day, instead of focusing on the three or four that go wrong. There's a great quote, I wish I'd come up with it myself, but it says, it's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting. So I had to fake it for a long time.

58:34You know, I would wake up in a grumpy mood, but I'd be like, I have to spend an hour calling or visiting people and thanking them. And I'm not in the mood to do that. No. So it was like acting. It was like method acting. And I would force myself to do it. But I'll tell you, by the end of that hour, your mind, you know, the cognitive dissonance is too much. Your mind will switch over to gratefulness. There's a great quote that happiness does not lead to gratitude. Gratitude leads to happiness. having that mindset really will make you happier.

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1:00:02If you want to make learning effortless and fun, check out Everything Everywhere Daily. It's quick, fascinating, and a perfect way to stay curious. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.