30 Years of Marriage: 3 Things About Relationships I Wish Someone Told Me Sooner

26:38Mel Robbins:Did I mention how much I love you? Look at how old these things are. Here's another one. Hi there. Look, it's my bursting heart. Oh my God, you're kind of Chris. Or here's another one. Like they're literally all over the place. He's been doing this for years. I'll pop open my glasses. Did you know how much I love you? When I get one of these notes, I feel like your favorite person and you immediately become mine. And it reminds me of our connection. Does it solve the massive problems that we may be facing? No. Does it remove the financial debt that is crushing us? No. Does it erase the issues that our kids may be struggling with that are causing us to argue over what to do about?

27:30Mel Robbins:No. But in that moment, that singular note is your way to use your my favorite person in a busy life. And it's free. You could leave it, like I leave it on your desk when you go and lead your soul degree retreats. Like that's how you have infiltrated and created a connection with me. That no matter where I am, when I find one of these things, I'm like, oh my God, he thought about me. He loves me. He stuck that in there knowing I would find it. Oh my God, he's my favorite person. I didn't realize that the notes you sometimes leave on my own desk were inspired by my notes. That's cool. Of course they were.

28:08Those feel so good when I come back. You just tucked one in to the credit card thing that I don't think I've ever found.

28:17Mel Robbins:holy cow i wonder how long this has been in here this is from an omni hotel and resort somewhere that you were i guess i don't know i love you that was right in the little credit card slot i've never even seen that one that's an old one i can't remember the last time we were at an omni so yeah it is an old one wow you do that with flowers what do you mean for me do you even like flowers? Well, I do. Explain what I do so I know to do more of it. I do like flowers, but I mostly love them because I get to live vicariously through the love you have for flowers. And it's a little. So explain what I do so that everybody can steal this.

29:03Well, you just have such a love of flowers, and you come into my office when I'm not there, and you put one little flower, whichever your favorite of the day is, and slide it into a tiny little vase or however you like to present it, and you leave it right on my desk. And then I come back and there's you. It's not even the flower. I just see you. And it's funny because that's another thing that makes you my favorite person. Not just the flower, but when we first met.

29:50Also makes me cry First date Walking down the sidewalk

29:58Mel Robbins:New York City We're in mid-conversation After dinner Can't even remember what we were talking about And you took off running And I thought, what the hell is this woman doing? When I caught up to you You've got a leaf in the palm of your hand Shaped like a heart It was a yucca tree, I think. Ginkgo tree. Oh, ginkgo tree. See, I don't even know what's happening. And you were jumping for joy as if the good humor truck just showed up. You were so excited about this heart-shaped leaf and this tree and how it was your favorite. I mean, talk about authenticity and sort of that joie de vie that I felt from you.

30:43So when you put a little tiny flower on my desk, that brings me right back to your own love affair with flowers, but makes me feel like I'm your favorite.

30:55Mel Robbins:Amazing. Aren't we supposed to take a break or something? Actually, yes. I was just so kind of in the moment with you that I forgot about that part. Thank you. All right. Don't go anywhere. When we come back, we're going to share more of these lessons from 30 years of marriage. You're not going to want to miss the next one. And I'm sure there's somebody that you're thinking about. This conversation is an extraordinary gift that I hope you will share with the people in your life that you love. And don't go anywhere because you're going to love what we will be digging into next. Stay with us.

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34:20Mel Robbins:Welcome back. It's your friend, Mel. And Chris. Chris, I'm so thrilled you said yes. We are unpacking three lessons from our 30-year marriage. We're celebrating 30 years this year, and these are three lessons we wish somebody would have shared with us when we first met. Would have made a difference. Well, let's just jump right back in. So that's the first lesson. You're my favorite person, and those are two simple ways that you can start to apply it. And that brings me to the second lesson. And the second lesson is really relevant because a lot of what we've learned over the years, or I should just say I've learned over the years, is how important softening is.

35:04Mel Robbins:So you hear the relationship experts that are world-renowned talk about kindness and curiosity and having an open heart. And oftentimes when you're in the thick of life, it's like, well, how the hell do you do that when this person's freaking pissing me off right now. And for me, one of the reasons why I think our marriage is stronger than ever, I love you more deeply than ever, is that I have learned the importance of softening and remembering the person I married. And this comes to the second lesson. If you want your relationship to go the distance and be meaningful and deeply connected, always remember you did not marry the adult who is standing in front of you you married the eight year old version of that person and there are pieces of you as a little kid that never got the real i don't even know what the technical term is that there are parts of you like the reason you run into the corner is because that's what you did as a kid the reason why you go into of your head is because that's what you did as a kid.

36:15Mel Robbins:The reason why you don't ask for what you need, Chris, is because you grew up like a lot of people did in a family as the youngest with a lot going on where it didn't matter what your needs were because people didn't care or they cared, but they didn't listen. And so you just stop talking. And it's easy for me to get mad at you when I look at the 57-year-old version of you and be like, the man's a grown-ass adult. Why is he acting like this? Why doesn't he just tell me what he needs? And not stop and go, okay, hold on. This is my favorite person. And I'm not dealing with a 57. I'm dealing with the part of him, the tape, just like you're dealing with the part of me that is a little girl.

36:59Mel Robbins:And this is really important because one of the things that I've learned from the experts and what I've learned from our own like therapy, you and I have been working with a therapist for five years, that what's very important about this is it softens you. Because I think it's easy to be like, that person is awful. And you start to get super judgy. And because the world can make you hard, you don't want the way the world hardens you to be the part of you that you bring into the relationships. And I find that the moment that I think about the fact that I know who you are at your core, if you've been with somebody for a year, you knew who they are at their core.

37:41Mel Robbins:And when you can remember that most people aren't intentionally trying to hurt you or intentionally trying to make you resent them or intentionally trying to piss you off, they're just doing the best that they can in a very difficult world that we live in. And I've really been able to soften by thinking about the fact that there are times that you get scared. There are times that you're overwhelmed. There are times that you don't know what to ask for. And it's helped me really stop being so freaking judgy and angry and resentful when you're not doing exactly what I want you to do or behaving how I want you to behave and just slow the roll a little bit.

38:30Mel Robbins:Because you and I have struggled with something that the world-renowned couples therapist Terry Real talks about. He came on the Mel Robbins podcast. I know you know Terry very well. And he talked about something that was like, whoa. He has this term, let's see if this rings a bell, Chris, normal marital hatred.

38:56Mel Robbins:Let's hear Terry Reel on the Mel Robbins podcast talking about normal marital hatred. Normal marital hatred. Normal marital hatred. Normal marital hatred. my god and i gotta tell you i've been around the world talking about normal marital hatred for 40 not once has anyone come backstage and said what do you mean by that i'd like to say we all marry our unfinished business whoa hold on we all marry our unfinished business you got it you know what But young Mel could have had a guy that would have done everything she wanted him to do. I guarantee you there are guys you dated who you would not have gone through this crisis with.

39:55They did not blip on your screen. I call this the mysticism of marriage.

40:00Mel Robbins:The mysticism of marriage? Yes, we have the opportunity to heal our deepest wounds. sometimes not. Falling in love means, oh yeah, this person's going to give it to me. I'm going to be healed. They're going to give me everything I didn't get. Good luck. A real relationship comes, I like to say, when you realize your partner is, here's my quote, exquisitely designed to stick the burning spear right into your eyeball. That's the crisis. That's not a bad relationship. That's a real relationship. The question is, now what? Are you just going to repeat the same old, same old? That's hell. Or are you going to wake up and do something different?

40:45The crisis can wake you up if you allow it, but you have to do it. And so there's a lot that goes into why we don't wake up, how to wake up, and if we do stay awake, what the hell do we do then? what does unfinished business mean?

41:06Mel Robbins:That what does, because it's true, the person that you're in a relationship with has an uncanny way to get under your skin, piss you off, frustrate the hell out of you. You love them, but you want to kill them at times, right? Yeah. Definitely want to change them. Yeah. But what does unfinished business mean exactly for us? It means that you are now exactly in the childhood wound that that son of a gun that you picked was supposed to never put you in. You have been fundamentally betrayed. You are back, you're four, you're with your crazy family, and your partner is just as chaotic, it turns out, as your dad was.

41:52Your partner is just as betraying as your mom was. Whatever the wound is, all of a sudden it's in your face, and that's not what you signed up for. And you hate that son of a gun.

42:07Mel Robbins:When you hear normal marital hatred, what comes to mind, Chris? Driving down the road with you in the passenger seat, head down, doing whatever you're doing, silent, feeling like, or I should say, I'm feeling like you are a million miles away, even though you're two feet from me. And that's so on point what Terry is saying, because I think they say you either marry your mother or your father or something to that effect. And a lot of my struggle was the physical and emotional absence of my dad that really, I think, was at the crux of our hardest times because we were both running scared, trying to do what we were doing, like roommates, financial pain, all of these things that had us be in our separate corners, which only exacerbated what I experienced, which was a lot of physical and emotional absence from you.

43:17So yeah, that's the sharp poker in the eye or what have you. That's how it felt.

43:23Mel Robbins:I want to just really unpack this because I think it's a very common thing that people feel. When things get hard, you turn on the person that was your favorite person, and you immediately feel that shift in a relationship and you start to feel the distance and then you both go into your corners and what ends up happening, at least for me, is when you stop talking and you're silent and withdrawn, I feel alone and it really makes me feel unsafe and then I get mad that you're not just fixing everything. And that's where it goes way deep. And it never occurred to me until you and I started working with a therapist and Terry put those words, normal marital hatred, out there.

44:18Mel Robbins:I'd never heard that before. that I really understood what he was talking about. And I started to realize, wait a minute, when I get scared, it's typically because you're also scared. And my little eight-year-old version gets anxious and angry and feels alone. And yours probably feels the same way, but I start going a million miles an hour and you just get quiet. And that's when you can identify it, not as something somebody's doing intentionally, not as something that somebody's out to get you. This is the compounding effect of all of these smaller moments that creates this massive distance and disconnection.

44:57Mel Robbins:That's where you can go to work. And what's really helped me is basically going, I married like the younger version of you. You have unfinished business with yourself. I have unfinished business with myself. And we have an opportunity when we come at it that way to work together to help each other finish that business and be more supportive. of one another. What do you want to say? Just feeling a whole lot of gratitude that we've had 30 years together to move through it versus throwing the towel. Chris, this feels like a good place to take a break, not only so that we can give our sponsors a chance to share some words, but I need to go to the bathroom.

45:41Mel Robbins:So I have so much more I want to talk to you about. And I need to have a bathroom break. And you also need to listen to our amazing sponsors. Do you need a bathroom break? Always. We've got a lot more to share with you. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

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49:01Mel Robbins:Additional taxes, fees, and terms apply. Unlimited data is restricted to on-device smartphone usage. Domestic data roaming at 2G speeds.

49:15Hey, welcome back to the Mel Robbins podcast.

49:18Mel Robbins:That's Chris Robbins, my husband. We are celebrating 30 years of marriage. and we have three things that we're sharing with you that we wish we would have known when we met each other. Let's just jump right back into it. Let's do it. If the person listening, let's start with the person listening who is in a relationship with somebody who shuts down like you do. What would your advice be to that person about what you want them to know when a partner is shutting down and not communicating? because I'm the opposite. I get angry and vent and get flooded and then I'm a jerk and then I apologize and then I get in that cycle and I then feel more and more alone and I know that it just shuts you down more.

50:06Do you even take a moment to notice how you're feeling? No, no.

50:11Mel Robbins:Well, I didn't back then. If I did, if I had simply for many years paused in the driveway and taken a deep breath and said, okay, remember Mel, well, Chris is your favorite person. Life is hard right now, but you two are gonna get through this together. And supporting each other right now and trying to be kind to each other and caring and considerate and curious of one another is gonna make it way more likely that you two can get through this together. Do not let the world and the stress and the overwhelm that is very real overwhelm your marriage and your relationship and the power of the two of you standing together.

50:54Mel Robbins:So he's your favorite person. Chris is your favorite person. And he's probably just as scared as you are. He's probably just as stressed as you are. Take a deep breath and walk in that door and you can be tired and still be kind. I mean, that's beautiful and beautifully said and easier said than done for most of us. I said, I wish I did it. I didn't say I did it. So I don't really have a succinct answer to it. Well, what do you want somebody to know? Let's say somebody's listening right now and they've always thought, wow, I'm just married to somebody who doesn't talk. I'm just married to a thinker.

51:27Mel Robbins:I'm just married to somebody who, like, doesn't really talk about how they feel. What I think is very important about what you're talking about is that somebody who's quiet on the surface is still feeling deep, deep, deep emotion. And how do you help your partner? Because I used to say to you, what are you thinking? What's going on up there? What are you thinking about? What's on your mind, Chris? And you would still deflect. Probably because you didn't want me to yell at you if you were about to open up about something. Yeah, but I mean, maybe there was a period there where I didn't want to say anything, but I think it gets back to, yes, there was deep thought in there.

52:11And this is not a great answer because it's not easy to do in the moment, but understanding why it is that, let's say, in the instance where I'm being quiet, what is that? What's the origin of that for me? And that's where I think there was a lot of work that I did to recognize what I was missing or what I wanted. And a lot of the time, I think one of my light bulbs was in those years where it was tough and we were running around like chickens, it was rare that we would come together and actually have a powwow. In fact, the only time we did it was when we needed to go over our calendars, which I used to kind of scoff at because I remember watching my parents do that when I was a kid and thinking, that is so stupid.

53:13And then here we were on Sunday night trying to do that for ourselves. And as much as I didn't like that that's what was pulling us together, that was a great moment for me because there was an attempt to be close, to be aligned, to be in communication. And I use that as an example because it's one of those things that was like, oh, this is what's missing for me, is that connection, and not just communication, but as even just touch. I didn't grow up with a lot of touch. And so it took me, whatever, 30, 40 years to realize just like you reaching out and holding my hand or putting your hand on my shoulder or that that simple act of intimacy was like the greatest thing in the world for me.

54:11And it takes a little bit, at least it did for me, to recognize that this is what I need, this is what I want. And some of that may have come in the form of the struggles and the breakdowns and even the breakthroughs and some of the work that we've done together. But But again, the reason why it doesn't sound like a great answer is because some of it is time and recognition of being able to stop and slow down a little bit to even recognize the emotion or the feeling, which is why I asked you, do you think that? Because you are a very ready, fire, aim kind of person. Yes. And I am definitely more like ready, aim, okay, aim again, then fire.

54:54Mel Robbins:Yes. I think there's a lot that I want to really dig into there because it kind of brings us to the third lesson. You use the word simple intimacy. and one of the things that we have learned the hard way is that when we are in a chapter in our relationship where we're really connected and we feel supportive of each other and life feels manageable and I feel like you are my favorite person and I'm also treating you that way there's something that is very obvious and present and it is simple points of connection throughout a week. And you mentioned the calendar because this is something I never expect you to cry over, but I understand why you did.

55:48Mel Robbins:Because if you really think about why you fall in love with somebody, it's because not only does this person make you feel safe and make you feel like the version of you that you can be yourself. You don't have to compromise your values or who you are. They bring out the best in you. But there's also this incredible thing that in the beginning, you have all these shared goals and dreams. You have a vision. You have a way you think your life is going to turn out. And there's a lot of time spent about what are we going to do and what are we doing this weekend? And you see your friends and there's this scaffolding and these points of connection every week in the beginning of a relationship that remind you of why this relationship matters and why two can feel like one when you have these points of connection.

56:37Mel Robbins:And the thing about a calendar, whether you're young parents or you've just moved in together, is that life does trample you with logistics. And it's way worse today with texting and social and Slack and Monday and work and email and cell phones and all that stuff, like the volume of input that can act like a tidal wave to wash you away from your partner is endless. And so a calendar meeting on a Sunday night, not the sexiest thing in the world, brings you together and gets you aligned against a shared vision. That's why that matters. And there are a couple things that are always present, Chris, I notice in the periods of our life where things are really good.

57:23Mel Robbins:And this is not complicated stuff. number one, we do the calendar meeting because one of my resentful accommodations is feeling like, you know, it's all up to me or, you know, I didn't ask for help or whatever. And that's a moment where you can start to ask, is there something that you need for support? Is there something you need this week? You know, you had a huge week last week and I remember saying, let me take all the dinners. Let me support you that way. Now you would never have come up to me and said, hey, I have a big week, could you do dinners? But that calendar meeting allowed us to remind ourselves we're in this together.

58:01Mel Robbins:And what help do you need? And you always ask me, what can I do to help you this week? What do you need? The second thing that I notice is present is we take a walk a couple mornings, not seven days a week, but we might walk up the back loop, up the mountain we live on. We might go walk down the driveway with the dogs, but we actually two or three times a week, we just get a short walk in. Another thing that I notice is we have a couple meals together. And if we're lucky, we cook together. And we have this ritual where we ask the high, the low of the day. Lots of people have a version of this, whether it's rose, thorn, bud, or whatever.

58:40Mel Robbins:It just kind of prompts you to share more about what you're looking forward to. And then the final thing, I think this is really important because we neglected this for a while. Your relationship does not exist in a vacuum. And if you isolate your relationship from the structures that reinforce the power of being in a committed and loving and supportive relationship, that isolation starts to tear away at your connection because you start to feel like it's me against you. It's us against the world. All I do is work and then come home and that's my existence. And one thing we have done that I noticed at remarkable distances for our 30th wedding anniversary, instead of having a party, we said, you know what we're going to do?

59:33Mel Robbins:We're going to prioritize seeing friends and we're going to prioritize seeing people that, God, we're in our wedding 30 years ago. We're going to prioritize seeing other couples or other families or other friends that have been there because making time, whether it's with family or old friends or new friends, making time for that reinforces the memories. It reinforces the network that you've created together. Fun and connection is such a huge part of it. And when I look back at the times when we were really at each other's throats, we were not doing that. We were isolated. We were barricaded with our problems.

1:00:18Mel Robbins:We were at each other. We were locked away in your head, my anger. and there's something about getting out of your rhythm and into an intentional cycle of having plans to look ahead to. And it could just be making dinner with friends this weekend. It might be going to a live concert like we did with one of our friends that we hadn't seen these friends for two years. We're like, why don't we go for a concert with them? That's part of our 30th wedding anniversary. And, To me, it's made a huge difference. And it does something that really, again, takes me back to the beginning of when we met. And when the whole future was just wide open.

1:01:09Mel Robbins:And you feel when you're with your person, like we have a shared vision and we're going to do this together. And you can find your way back to it with these three things we're talking about. that four words, you're my favorite person. This lesson around softening and remembering you are in a relationship with your partner's unfinished business. Just think about them as little eight year old and you probably won't scream at them. And there's an opportunity to grow together instead of to hold grudges and to lean into each other. That's the opportunity. and then the final thing is it's like really thinking about the fact that your relationship is a third person in the relationship like it's you and you're responsible for certain things for yourself and me and I'm responsible for certain things for myself and you're responsible for supporting me and I'm responsible for supporting you in ways but there is this relationship that needs our attention.

1:02:15Mel Robbins:Otherwise, it's going to die. And so those things that reinforce alignment, things to look forward to, planning the calendar every week, checking in, how can I help you this week? What do you need? Prioritizing seeing friends and family that reinforce the good years and the memories and what you've all been through. Because there's so much value in being reminded that, yeah, you've been through things and you can come out the other side. Yeah, the only thing I would add to that is just the constant recognition of the changes that are occurring because in the honeymoon phase, you don't want anything to change and you don't imagine anything changing.

1:02:58And the reality is that change will occur. And coincidentally, many of us are seeking change over time, but we certainly can't anticipate all of the ambiguities that are going to pop up when these changes are occurring, whether we are forcing the change or they are being forced upon us. And I think stopping and acknowledging those along the way as being sources sometimes of things like grudges and what have you can be helpful.

1:03:32Mel Robbins:You know, I'm thinking about the fact that our daughters will often say to me, I really, like, really want to find someone like Dad. I really hope I have a marriage that's like your guys. Oh, my gosh. And you know what I say to them? I say, first of all, the man you see at 57 is not the man I met at 26. So there have been a lot of skill building. There's been a lot of water under the bridge. There's been a lot of growth. our marriage when we started did not look like it looks today. And so if you're in that spot where you're like, is this my person? Is it not my person? Will I ever have them? Do you think that you could spend 30 years with the person that you're in a relationship with?

1:04:13And over the course of 30 years, is this person the kind of person that's willing to lean in and

1:04:19Mel Robbins:work on it and grow with you. That was clear from day one was our mutual interest in growth and learning and understanding first and foremost of ourselves, about ourselves. But the fact that we wanted to jump into that pool together was very, very attractive. I think that's how you know you're with the right person. You feel like yourself. You see a shared vision of growing old together. You share values and have some overlapping goals and dreams about the way you think about your life and the things you want out of your life. And you're both willing to lean in and grow together. You have that.

1:05:04Mel Robbins:You have one of the single greatest gifts that you will ever experience in life. Chris, is there anything else you wanted to say? No, I mean, it sounds trite, but I just love the fact that we've had 30 years, even though lots of them were tough. I love that we're still in it together. I love that we took the time to learn some of these things to give each other the space to learn these things, which I know at times didn't come easy, but I am feeling lots of gratitude for our 30 years. Well, we definitely grew together. Majorly. And I do remember times where I'm like, this is just a moment. This is not the whole marriage.

1:05:52Mel Robbins:This is just a moment. We will get through this. Things will be better again. And I really do wish though, that the three things that we shared today, you and I had had going into this marriage. And I'm grateful that we have these tools as we continue forward in it, because I know we're celebrating 30 years, but I was thinking about it today. I can't do math very well. I'm trying to think of the math here, guys. like if I live to be a hundred years what would 75 be so 75 would be 45 more years oh god that's 102 no it'd be another 20 what no we've been married 30 oh oh in our marriage yeah wouldn't it be cool to celebrate our 75th wedding anniversary is it even possible to live that long how old is that I'm 57 we'd need another we'd need another 45 years wow 45 years I could spend with you.

1:06:48As long as I'm not drooling on myself, yeah, that'd be awesome.

1:06:52Mel Robbins:You'd still be my favorite person.

1:06:58I wonder about that.

1:07:04Mel Robbins:Oh, God. I would love to reach our 75th wedding anniversary. That would put us at 102. Do you think we can make it? I think we're doing all the right things to try to get there for sure. All right, well, let's put it in the calendar. Well, I just want to remind you that on our second date, when we declared we were going to marry each other, I hesitated to say that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I really thought about it in the moment. Like, should I tell her that? Because I'm feeling that. And the reason why I did feel that and I said something on our second date was because in that moment, I had a visual of you and I very old in two rocking chairs on the front porch of an old house.

1:07:51And that vision popped up in my head and I thought, I really do want to be in those rocking chairs together. And that's what compelled me to even say, I want that. So yeah, amen to 102. Hope we're there.

1:08:08Mel Robbins:Let's create it, Chris Robbins. Let's create it. I am so happy that you were here with me and Chris. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this. Thank you for watching it. Like you cannot listen to or watch this conversation with the person you're in a relationship with and not feel compelled to have a deeper conversation. There's just no way. Based on what Chris shared, based on what I shared, based on these lessons, based on the topics that we covered that I'm sure I could almost feel you nodding along like that's me, that's my partner. And if there's one thing that we kept coming back to over and over and that we've come back to is that you can't solve problems you're not willing to talk about.

1:09:00Mel Robbins:And you'll never process feelings that you keep burying. And hardening isn't going to improve your relationship. so if you really do want to go the distance with one another and of course you do that's why you're listening why not soften why not find your way back to this person that you fell in love with and we are here to tell you because we've been through hell and back it is absolutely possible and these simple lessons that we shared and some of the simple tools that we've used have helped us do that and in case no one else tells you i wanted to be sure to tell you as your friend that I love you and I'm sure Chris loves you too.

1:09:41Mel Robbins:And we believe in your ability to create a better life. And part of what makes for a much better life is more fulfilling relationships. And I know that what we shared with you will give you the tools to create them. All right, I'll see you in the very next episode. I'm going to welcome you in the moment you hit play.

1:10:06Mel Robbins:Well, the one thing that I will share with you is this moment is possibly... What you've been waiting for all your life? Once again, nobody did my hair and makeup, so... I did my own. I'm... I could do yours. I could give you some powder. Normally, I'm the one that's impatient. I'm ready, man. I have been prepped. Put your mic up to your mouth. All right, let's go back to the thing. That can be a blooper.

1:10:39Mel Robbins:Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

1:11:14Mel Robbins:Sirius XM Podcasts.

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