9 Small Things That Will Help You Feel Amazing Again

0:00Mel Robbins:Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:08Mel Robbins:You know, a couple of days ago, I asked you online in the stories on Instagram and comments on YouTube, what is keeping you from feeling amazing right now? I saw the same answers over and over. You feel exhausted, overwhelmed, stuck. And look, I get it because I've been feeling that way too. And so I thought to myself, all right, what could I do that could help you and me feel more energized today, as in right now, and without some big 90-day plan or some huge commitment because we don't have the energy for that. I found exactly what you and I needed to hear right now. There are nine simple changes that I'm going to share with you today that make a surprisingly big difference in your life and how you feel.

0:52Mel Robbins:These are like little life hacks that are super easy to remember. Plus, they're based on all the latest research on feeling better, and improving your life and your health. And I guarantee you, you and I will be able to do all of them today. Now, if these nine small things feel a little familiar, that's because I've shared them before. They make such a big difference, so much so, that this episode that you're about to listen to became our most shared and recommended episode on YouTube. And it's one of my personal favorites. And you may not have heard it. And even if you have, trust me, this is exactly what you need to hear right now because you need these reminders again.

1:31Mel Robbins:So I wanted to give this episode to you and to me now so you can take back your time, your energy, and your sanity. I want to help you make your life easier right away because you deserve that.

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3:03Mel Robbins:Hey, it's your friend Mel, and I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am always so excited to be able to spend time together with you, and I want to start by thanking you for taking the time to listen to something that could help you be happier. Today's conversation is absolutely going to do that. And if you're brand new, I also want to personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family and say you are listening to the perfect episode because I have nine simple changes that I'm going to share with you today that are going to make a surprisingly big difference in your life.

3:37Mel Robbins:And what I love about each one of these nine simple changes is that each one of them has its own kind of little fun way to remember it. I'm going to teach you the little tricks to remembering these things. And what's also really awesome about these nine simple changes is that each one is a way that you can apply the latest research in an easy way to your life. And the fact is, there are lots of episodes that you and I do together where we get to sit with the world-renowned leading experts on topics ranging from neuroscience and habits and health and happiness and relationships, and they go so deep on a specific topic.

4:16Mel Robbins:And I guarantee you, the second you hear me explain each one, you're going to be like, oh my gosh, that makes so much sense. Why did I not think about it that way? And you're also going to go, thank you, Mel, because the way that you just explained it and that simple little saying that you gave me, now I can remember it. And if I can remember it, I can apply it. And not only can you apply it, you want to know how simple these nine changes are? You'll be able to do most of them while you're listening. And the ones that you can't do while you're listening, you'll be able to do them today. That's how easy and impactful this is going to be.

4:45Mel Robbins:So let's just start with the very first little change that you're going to make. I want you to start repeating that phrase that my grandma used to say to me to yourself. Whether you think you can or can't, you're right. And let's unpack that because there is so much power packed into that one little sentence. Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right. And I'm going to give you an example. Let's say that you're in a situation where you would really love to get a better job. I mean, who doesn't want to get paid more? Who doesn't want to work somewhere where they feel valued and they're having fun and they're making a difference?

5:15Mel Robbins:if you think you can't get a better job, are you going to apply? Nope. Are you going to do the work on your resume if you think, well, I can't get a better job? Nope, you're not. Are you going to network with your parents' friends or reach out to college friends so that you can get a better job? Not if you think you can't. Are you going to update your LinkedIn profile? Nope. Why? Because you think you can't, that mindset of thinking, I can't do that, stops you from taking action. And if you stop yourself from taking action because you think you can't do that, you're right. You can't do that. The mindset itself is what's stopping you from taking the actions that are going to get the result that you want.

6:01Mel Robbins:Now let's flip it, okay? If you think you can get a better job. Now what happens? Now you're opening the door to optimism, to hope. If you think you can get a better job by trying, you're going to want to try. You have a reason to try. You're going to feel more resilient. Because if you say to yourself, if I think I can, or I think I can't, I'll be right. One thing that you say, if I think I can, creates a mindset where you try. And when you try, that's what matters because it's all in the trying that you create the results. And so here's how you apply this first little change so that you create surprisingly big results in your life.

6:50Mel Robbins:Just start telling yourself, I can do that. I can try that. I think I can change my attitude. I can improve my relationship with my spouse, I can get in better shape. I can learn this AI coding thing if I wanted to, because if you think you can, you'll be right, because you're going to be more likely to try. You're going to open up the door to all kinds of opportunities, because now, just through that small little tiny shift in your mindset, I think I can. You will make the effort. So remember, the first tiny little change that creates a surprisingly big difference, we're talking domino effect here, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.

7:35Mel Robbins:So by gosh, you better tell yourself you can. Now let's go right in to the second little change that I want you to make. And honestly, I can't believe I didn't stumble into this one sooner. And I don't even know who to give credit to for this, but we're just gonna take it and run with it. So the little change number two is this. If you wanna get eight hours of sleep, spend nine hours in bed. What the heck? That is so obvious. If you wanna get eight hours of sleep, spend nine hours in bed. I'm the kind of person that if I think, okay, I wanna get eight hours of sleep tonight, I literally climb in bed at 10 o 'clock at night and then I set my alarm at 6 a.m., that's eight hours.

8:21Mel Robbins:Do I get eight hours of sleep? No, because it takes time to fall asleep. In fact, one of the world's most renowned researchers in the science of sleep is none other than Dr. Rebecca Robbins at Brigham and Women's Hospital right here in Boston, Massachusetts. It's one of Harvard's many hospitals in the Boston area. This is what she told me about the average time that it takes for someone to fall asleep. This is a great question. And I think a big area to promote awareness about because we think that we just should be able to crawl into bed and flip our brains off like a switch. Wrong. Sleep is a process.

8:57And so falling asleep actually takes time. And more than a lot of people realize, even a healthy sleeper with no problems should take about 15 or 20 minutes to fall asleep.

9:06Mel Robbins:I mean, 15 to 20 minutes on average, if you have no problems. And when I was mentioning this little simple change, you want to get hours of sleep, you better spend nine hours in bed. My friend and one of the producers on the show, Amy, she looked at her kind of sleep data and she's like, well, no wonder I consistently track at seven hours, 35 minutes. Why? Because like you and like me, she's climbing into bed at the exact time she thinks she needs to fall asleep. And then she sets her alarm for eight hours later. And we're not doing that anymore. You and I, we are making a little change that's going to have a surprisingly big impact.

9:45Mel Robbins:Instead of you and I focusing on getting eight hours of sleep, nope, we're not going to do that. We're going to focus on spending nine hours in bed. Doesn't that just shift your mindset right away? Simple change. Surprisingly big difference. And I want you to think about that in your own life. Think about it tonight. Instead of thinking that you need to get eight hours of sleep, I want you instead to go, oh, I got to spend nine hours in bed. And you want to know the cool thing. So let's just say that you're one of the lucky people that Dr. Rebecca Robbins was just talking about. You can fall asleep quickly.

10:18Mel Robbins:That's wonderful. 15, 20 minutes, bada bing, bada boom. If you think about being in bed for nine hours and you fall asleep 20 minutes into climbing into that bed, and then you wake up eight hours later, guess what? You got 40 minutes to spare and you're now getting up even earlier than you thought. I mean, this is such a win for such a simple change. I just freaking love this. And while we're on the topic of sleep, I've got another little change that will make a huge difference in the quality of sleep and your ability to fall asleep. I call this the 5-10-20 rule. I'm going to break it down in a minute, but this relates to all of this research that's out there right now about getting light exposure first thing in the morning and how if you get up and you get outside right away and you get exposure in your eyeballs right away, it resets your circadian rhythm and that helps you sleep at night.

11:14Mel Robbins:Now, all this research is super duper exciting, but the second that you hear, okay, the moment you get up in the morning, one of the best things that you can do in order to get a better night's sleep at night is to get yourself outside and get those UVs into your eyeballs. If you're like me and you hear this research. You want to do it, but then you immediately have questions. You're like, how long do I need to be out there? What if it's raining? What if it's cloudy? What if I can't get outside? What do I do? How much light is too much light? How am I supposed to remember all this stuff? Simple.

11:48Mel Robbins:All you need to remember is that the research says in order to sleep better at night, I got to bank some sunlight first thing in the morning. I got that. That's why you're going to think of the 5-10-20 rule. Because when I hear 5-10-20, I think about getting cash at a bank. And when you go to a bank, they give it to you in 5-10s and 20s. And I remember when I was younger and I was waitressing and I was a bar back, there would be nights where I would be the one closing down the restaurant and ending the shift. And I would have to tally all the cash and close it all out. And then they give you this big envelope that you zip.

12:22Mel Robbins:And then you go to the bank and you drop it into the night deposit box. And so 5, 10, 20, which is what was in that envelope. So when I would drop it off into the night deposit box, that was what was going into the bank. And for you and me, we got to bank either 5, 10 or 20. And here's how this works. If it's sunny outside, you need to be outside for five. You got to bank five minutes. If it's cloudy, can you guess how much time you need? Bingo. Look how smart you are. 10. That's right. Give yourself 10 minutes outside if it's cloudy. And if it's rainy, how long do you think you need to be out on your porch?

12:58Mel Robbins:Boom, you got it, 20. That's the 5-10-20 rule. Sunny 5, cloudy 10, rainy 20. Or sit next to your window for 20 minutes. That's it. That's how you remember this research, that you got to bank UV light first thing in the morning to reset the circadian rhythm, and that helps you get a better night's sleep. and the 5-10-20 is a simple rule of thumb that you can follow that will help you apply it no matter what the weather is. Isn't that awesome? Little change, surprisingly big difference. And that brings me to number four. Now, Henry David Thoreau said, an early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.

13:38Mel Robbins:Your friend Mel Robbins is telling you, a little walk is a solution to 93 % of your problems. I'm going to explain this. Let's just say you got a report due at work. You've been working on it. It's super stressful. It's due in literally a couple hours and your head is spinning. You're so overwhelmed. That's a problem. The deadline is looming. Your head is spinning. The solution to that problem, to feeling overwhelmed in that moment, it's to take a walk. Because in that situation, you don't think you have time, but the truth is you don't have time to waste sitting there spinning. and a 10-minute walk is the solution to that problem because it's gonna reset your mind.

14:19Mel Robbins:This is all based on research. It's gonna improve your productivity. It'll spark new ideas so that when you walk back in and you sit down, boom, you're ready to focus and you will get that puppy done. Let me give you another one. Let's say that the person that you've been seeing suddenly sends you a text and says, you know, I've been thinking this isn't gonna work out. That's a problem. You're heartbroken. You're disappointed. Maybe you're super annoyed that they did it by text. Instead of firing off an angry response or sitting there with that text message feeling like a rejected loser, because what's gonna happen if you do that?

14:56Mel Robbins:You're either gonna send something that you regret or you're gonna get completely overwhelmed by your emotions and that's gonna make you feel even worse. What is the solution to the disappointment that you feel when you get a text like that out of the blue? I'll tell you the solution. Take a little walk. because walking lifts your mood. It reduces the intensity of the disappointment. It also allows you to step away and get objectivity from that thing that immediately stressed you out, which was that text message. And it creates a break from the flood of negative emotions. And as you're out there walking, the rhythm of the movement and the change of the scenery can help you clear your mind.

15:34Mel Robbins:It makes it easier for you to gain perspective and calm down and start to move forward and actually choose what you're going to do as the response instead of acting out of reaction, which you're always going to regret. All of this based on research. Little walk, big difference. Here's another example. Let's say your mom calls and tells you that the test that they ran on your dad came back and it's bad. They think your dad has cancer. Your heart sinks. Your worst fears just flood through your brain. You hang up the phone, you start to cry. Now, let me tell you something. If you immediately go and log on to WebMD and you go down that research spiral, you're gonna feel worse, you're gonna feel powerless, and that's gonna be a major problem.

16:24Mel Robbins:Why? Your parents need you to process what you're feeling and get to a point where you can think clearly so you can help them, so that you can be supportive through this whole thing. So the solution to this really big problem, go for a little walk. The walk isn't going to change the fact that your dad has this diagnosis. What it does is it changes you, your state of mind, your physiology, your mood, your emotions. Based on the research, going for a little walk makes a big difference because you're going to be able to process this information and it gives you space from your emotions so you're not overwhelmed by them.

17:05Mel Robbins:And that's going to let you walk back in with new ideas and a much more strategic response to the situation. Here's another example. Let's just say you finish dinner and now, like me, you are craving a bowl of ice cream with hot fudge sauce and some salted peanuts on top. And you can tell that I always crave that little sundae, right? Well, that can be a problem, especially if you've made a commitment to eat less sugar and lay off the desserts every night. So the solution to that problem of when that craving hits, go for a little walk. Why? Well, studies have found that a 15-minute walk curbs cravings for chocolate.

17:45Mel Robbins:It reduces the amount of chocolate you even eat in stressful situations. Other research shows that going for a walk after dinner not only helps you reduce stress and helps you digest, but it also helps you process insulin. How freaking cool is that? Who knew a little walk could do so much? Here's another one. You just had an argument with a roommate over the fact that your roommate's significant other is always at your place. They never go to their place. They're always at your place. And so you now live with two people, not one person. And it's starting to feel weird. So you bring it up and then they blow up you and it's really tense conversation and they walk into their bedroom door and they shut the door.

18:25Mel Robbins:This moment's a problem because you then start to question the fact that you drew a boundary. And then you're going to want to feel if you stay in that space, like you need to then go knock on the door and apologize. It's okay. I didn't mean it. I'm just all stressed out. The solution to this problem is going for a little walk. Because as you're learning, the power of a simple walk is extraordinary. By walking it off, that is a phrase. You're going to gain clarity. You're going to gain perspective over why this issue is important to you and why it's important that you become the kind of person that does express the boundaries and the requests that you have.

19:07Mel Robbins:And that's going to help you walk back into the apartment and realize it's not your responsibility to manage your roommate's emotions. And it's not your responsibility to manage your roommate's disappointment. It is your responsibility to ask for what you need, and that's all that you did. And the truth is about a walk is that it's not going to erase the problems that you're going to face in your day-to-day life, and it doesn't erase mine either. The reason why a little walk works as one solution for so many problems that you face is because of how it changes you so quickly, how you feel, your mood, the clarity of your mind, and that changes your ability to come back and deal with things differently.

19:50Mel Robbins:When you're in control of your response, you have the power to solve 100 % of the problems you face. And that's why it's so cool. And it also has this magical, powerful effect to opening you up to different solutions that you never can see for yourself if you're still standing in your apartment or searching on WebND or sitting there rage texting at somebody that broke up with you. So Henry David Thoreau said, an early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day and your friend Mel Robbins is reminding you a little walk is a solution to 93 % of your problems. Don't you love these? Because they're kind of things you know, but it's a whole new way to look at it.

20:31Mel Robbins:And I love the sticky ways to remember it. And this feels like a fabulous time to take a quick pause, hear a word from our sponsors. And by the way, don't go anywhere because the little change number five that I'm going to tell you about, I think is going to surprise you and you're going to love it. So stay with me.

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22:14Mel Robbins:And get this, you can apply for free in minutes. It doesn't have to feel like the right time to be the right time. Get started at snhu.edu slash mel. Being a serious business owner takes hard work, patience, and a drive to keep moving forward. So it's important to find a serious business card that goes the extra mile. With the VentureX Business Card from Capital One, you earn unlimited double miles on every purchase. And with big purchasing power, you can spend more and earn more. This is your sign to take your business to the next level. the Capital One VentureX business card. What's in your wallet?

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23:05Mel Robbins:Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. And today we are talking about nine little changes that make a surprisingly big difference in your life. And we've already covered four of them. The first one was if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. That's a little mindset switch. And I want you to always think you can. The second little change is if you want to get eight hours of sleep, make sure you're in bed for nine hours. Frickin' love that. And the third little change that we've already talked about that makes a surprisingly big difference is about that research of getting light first thing in the morning in your eyes.

23:42Mel Robbins:And you're going to remember you got to bank 5, 10, 20. And I bet you even remember what the five, 10, and 20 stand for. You got this. Five, if it's sunny. Ten minutes, if it's cloudy. 20 minutes, if it's raining or you're looking through a window. I freaking love that. And the fourth one that we just talked about, which is you got a problem, take a walk. It is a solution to 93 % of the problems you're going to face, not because it removes the problems, but because it changes you and your ability to respond to those problems. And that brings me to little change number five. I told you this was going to surprise you.