Do THIS Today to Reset Your Life, Energy, & Happiness

24:29Mel Robbins:You know that feeling when your brain is fried? You have like 12 irritating tasks you don't care about, but you have to do them anyway? That's where I've been lately. The administrative stuff was eating up half my day. So I've been using Microsoft Copilot as my extra set of hands. It's like having your own personal assistant. That's why Microsoft Copilot is my favorite AI tool. Last week, I had to send this long, overly complicated email about scheduling and travel, the kind of thing that takes up way too much energy for what it is. I opened Copilot, talked to it out loud while I was walking around my kitchen, and Copilot turned it into a clean, professional draft.

25:12Mel Robbins:It was amazing. And because my brain wasn't fried, I had the energy to sit down and eat dinner with Chris without feeling mentally wiped. That's the whole point for me. Microsoft Copilot clears the clutter so I can be more present for the moments that matter. That's why I'm using it. If you want to try it for yourself, visit Microsoft.com backslash Mel Robbins to download the Copilot app. Get started with Copilot today for free and see how handing off the small stuff gives you more energy for the moments that matter. That's Microsoft.com backslash Mel Robbins. I have two truths and a lie to share with you.

25:48Mel Robbins:Here we go. I high-five myself in the mirror every morning. I'm amazing at fly fishing. I have been a Verizon customer for over a decade. All right, I lied. All three of those are true. And you know, Verizon isn't as expensive as you think. In fact, if you bring in your AT &T or T-Mobile bill, they'll give you a better deal. That's right, a better deal on the best network with the most ways to save on plans, streaming, and phone deals. Take your AT &T or T-Mobile bill to your local Verizon store today. Get your better deal and start saving for real. And one of the reasons why I've been a Verizon customer for over a decade, they have the best sell service everywhere.

26:30Mel Robbins:I travel so much for work and Verizon is always there for me. Based on RootMetrics Best Overall Mobile Network Performance, U.S. Second Half 2025, all rights reserved. Must provide recent consumer mobile bill in the name of the person redeeming the deal. Additional terms, conditions, and restrictions apply. This podcast is brought to you by Expedia. Planning a family vacation is a lot. Everybody has different schedules, different needs, and strong opinions. So wouldn't it be nice to have a co-pilot? Something that makes the planning part way easier? That's where Expedia comes in. Expedia lets you book flights, hotels, vacation rentals, cars, activities, all in one place.

27:12Mel Robbins:And when you bundle it together, you can save up to 30%. Plus, if plans change, because they always do, at least in my family, Expedia helps you stay in control. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Members only, savings vary, see site for details.

27:36Mel Robbins:Welcome back, it's your friend Mel Robbins, and today you and I are hitting the reset button together. we're reconnecting and we're answering two questions that are gonna really make you feel better about where you are and where you're going. Now, before the break, I asked you the first question, which is, what have you done this year that you're proud of? And I was just starting to tell you the story of something that went crazy wrong in Sydney. Now, let me just set the table for you. This was the biggest show of the entire three-month tour. there were 9 ,000 people in the audience, 9 ,000. And the tour is about two hours long and it's not me doing a podcast interview.

28:21Mel Robbins:It's not me giving a speech. It's a show. One of the big things in the tour is I wanted this tour to end with a massive confetti explosion. And the reason why I wanted this is because our family went to see Coldplay I love Coldplay. And there's a lot of moments during the Coldplay concert where they are exploding confetti and it's in shapes like stars and butterflies. And you see all these people on the floor of the arena they're playing in and they're getting showered in this confetti. And we had really good seats. They were kind of in that like rung of seats that are right at the edge of the field.

29:04Mel Robbins:I almost dislocated my shoulder trying to reach for the confetti. I mean, the confetti was like right there. And it was such a bummer to see all these people showered in it and taking photos and we couldn't quite reach it. And so I said to the team when we were planning the tour, I want to douche this theater. Like I'm talking Super Bowl. I want the back rows to be able to feel the confetti. I want this huge celebration and joy and just to honor the audience and to have it be experiential. So we've got this show in Sydney, the biggest show of the whole tour. It is our sixth show in the stretch from New Zealand through Australia.

29:54Mel Robbins:We have our six confetti cannons. We have the biggest amount of people and they're in this arena that goes like straight up so we can get the confetti to the top. And at the end of the show, I sign off the show saying the exact same thing that I say to you at the end of every podcast, that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And then I pause and I say, now go blank, do it. And the confetti's like, except for Sydney, the biggest show of the entire tour. You want to know what the confetti sounded like? A small silent fart. That's it. That's it. That was it.

30:43Mel Robbins:It was one of the six cannons.

30:49Mel Robbins:The confetti didn't even hit the front row. That's it. There we go. Okay. And you want to know something incredible? Because I'm really proud of. I'm not proud of the confetti, but here's what I'm proud of. I'm proud of the fact that I didn't even get upset about it. I wasn't angry. I didn't snap at anybody. I didn't yell at anybody. Because here's the thing. Do you think the person running the confetti cannons actually meant to do that on purpose? Of course not. Of course not. And wishing about things going differently robs me of the ability to celebrate how epic the show was and how amazing the audience was.

31:31Mel Robbins:And that's why I'm so proud of managing my stress because I didn't rob myself of all the good things that happened by over-indexing and gripping all the things that didn't or that didn't go right. And now we can have a laugh about it because it's the show where the confetti farted. That's what it is. And all 9 ,000 people still had an absolutely epic, incredible, electric, life-changing experience. And those are just three examples of some of the crazy things that happened. But here is the other thing that I found to be incredibly difficult to manage. And I just, I really want to give another shout out to everybody who is a musician.

32:16Mel Robbins:Your tour schedules where you are sleeping on buses and you are going from performing night after night after night after night and the load-ins the same day. If you're not in the music industry or you've never toured, you have no idea how grueling of a schedule this is. Here's a sample schedule. You land in a city in the afternoon or you pull in on your bus, you check into a hotel, and then that's it. You kind of go over lines, you figure out what you're doing. The next morning, 7 a.m., you load in. You load in all the equipment. We have to build the full set. You have to build the huge screen, the lighting racks.

32:58Mel Robbins:You got to test it all. You got to wire in all the technology. that takes until about, I don't know, 3 p.m. Then we roll over for tech rehearsals because we've got to set all the cameras. There are five cameras. We've got to run through the show. We've got to run through changes. We've got to meet the local team that's going to be moving sets on and off. Then I go out into the lobby. I sign 500 books. Then I introduce myself to all of the people that are working as ushers at the event. We were also doing some activations for Pure Genius Protein, my protein shot company, handing out free samples.

33:32Mel Robbins:And so I then greeted all of the people that we were hiring in each city to be handing out samples and, you know, talking to the fans that were coming. Then I go backstage and this is probably now about 5.30 or 6 o 'clock. Now we're doing makeup and getting ready. Doors open at 6.30. The crowd is running through at 6.30. The show begins at 7.30 with a friend of mine, Sam, who dresses as a drag queen version of me named Melodrama. Oh my God, I got to tell you about this thing that happened. This might be my favorite moment of the entire tour. This happened in Vancouver, the matinee show on Mother's Day.

34:17Mel Robbins:If you were there, you know how extraordinary this is. So Sam is dressed as the drag queen version of me, melodrama, and he kind of, you know, warms up the audience, is funny as hell. Then he goes out in to the audience because I really wanted the audience and every person there, because a lot of people come alone, to feel threaded through the entire experience and to feel connected to and part of the community that's there. And so he goes out and he, you know, talks to people and it's hilarious. And he came up to this woman, I believe her name was Colleen. And he was asking, does anybody have a birthday?

34:58Mel Robbins:And she raised her hand and she said, my birthday was last week. And he said, well, what are you celebrating for your birthday? And she said, well, my birthday wish is to beat this damn cancer. And Sam turns around to the entire group of there's almost 3 ,000 people, this is pre-show, at the Orpheum in Vancouver, and says to the crowd, all the lights are on, shows kind of like we're in pre-show zone, says to the entire crowd, who here wants to grant that birthday wish for Colleen? So she beats the entire theater erupted onto their feet, jumping up and down and screaming and shouting for Colleen.

35:50Mel Robbins:She collapsed in tears. I was backstage kind of watching the whole thing. And Marcus, who is our tour director, ran up to me and said, let's sign a book for her. So I'm backstage signing a book because this is all going down live. To see people walk into a theater as strangers, And in one sentence, get up on their feet in celebration of someone's fight for their life as she's facing this cancer diagnosis was for sure the highlight of the tour. and again if I had been stressed out backstage worrying about all kinds of stuff I would have missed it and I am coming back from this tour not only proud of myself that I managed my stress and had fun and was present and calm and experienced all the magic but I feel so full from that energy of you and your fellow listeners and so clear about some of the topics we need to be discussing, some of the changes I want to make to the types of episodes that we've been doing on this podcast.

37:07Mel Robbins:And I also am very clear that I want to have a closer connection to you. And so one thing I'm going to tell you is if you're not on the newsletter that goes out twice a week, it is free. Go to melrobins.com slash newsletter because I write a personal letter twice a week. And that way you don't miss a thing. And you'll be joining 2 million other people that receive that letter from me every single week on Mondays and Thursdays. And I would love to stay connected with you because we're going to be doing a lot more in the future around this podcast. We're going to be taking more questions. We're looking into ways to do interesting events or to do kind of live experiences around the releases of podcasts.

37:51Mel Robbins:Nothing is set in stone yet, but I'm just super excited to be more connected with you and to find ways that we can create opportunities for you to be in rooms and experiences like that. So the first question of this reset is thinking about this year. What are you proud of? What are you proud of that you've experienced? What are you proud of that you've done? What are you proud of that you've been working on? one thing that you're proud of. And I promise you, if you look, you will find that thing. And then I want you to take a moment and I want you to really sit with it and pat yourself on the back and ask yourself, well, why am I proud of that?

38:35Mel Robbins:Because I bet that there's something a little bit deeper that will get revealed. You're going to realize, wow, I'm proud of this because I recognize that I'm changing. I'm proud of this because I see that I am putting myself first. I'm proud of this because I see that I'm doing the things that are important to me. I'm proud of myself because I've really shown up for other people and I've managed this challenge really well and I'm stronger than I think. So that's the first question. What have you done this year that you're proud of? Now let's talk about the second question. What are you looking forward to?

39:14Mel Robbins:I mean, when you think about now until the end of this year, what are you looking forward to? Because the time is going to come and it's going to go. It's going to pass. That's what time does. And with the time that you have left this year, what are you looking forward to? And I want you to really think about this. What is something in your life that's personal to you that you are truly looking forward to? And if your answer is, Mel, I have no idea or nothing. Or maybe it's like, I don't even have time to think about what I'm looking forward to. I'm just trying to survive and get through the day.

39:57Mel Robbins:That is really important and honest information. And I'm glad that you're being honest with me because when you have nothing to look forward to for the remainder of the year, this is one of the reasons why life feels so hard. This is why one day bleeds into the next. This is why you feel like you're in autopilot and survival mode because every single day is the same thing. Wake up, answer the text, check social media, make coffee, go to work, come home, figure out dinner, clean something, scroll, go to bed too late, make yourself wrong, lay in bed and think about your problems, wake up, do it again.

40:37Mel Robbins:No wonder life feels flat right now because everything is responsibility. Everything about life is managing or taking care of other people. It's about what's next or work or, oh my God, nothing is, I can't wait for this thing that's happening. And there's a scientific reason why it's important to have that feeling of anticipation, that sense of I can't wait for that thing to happen, whether it's a wedding or it's a concert or it's some trip that you're taking or somebody that you're seeing. And this research was first shared on this podcast by Dr. Tali Sherritt. Now, she's a renowned neuroscientist who's taught at University College London, MIT.

41:24Mel Robbins:She's the director of the Effective Brain Lab at University College London. Her research is very interesting because it's sort of this intersection between neuroscience, psychology, and behavioral economics, and her real expertise is studying how emotions influence your beliefs, your decisions, and your behavior. So Dr. Tali Sherrod came on the podcast and explained this concept of why it is that we can get into this rut. See, what happens is your brain loves familiarity. In fact, it is designed to learn patterns. But when your brain gets used to something, whether it's the way that you're moving through your day, you wake up, you go to work, you drive the same way, it's the same emergencies, same stress, same people, same conversations, you drive home the same way, you cook the same three meals, you watch the same stuff, you scroll the same, you go to bed.

42:13there's something happening in your brain where it stops noticing all the good things.

42:22Mel Robbins:It stops paying attention to change. And the more familiar something becomes, the less your brain reacts to what you're doing. This is what Dr. Tali Sherritt calls habituation. And here's the catch, and this is why I'm bringing it up. If you're kind of in one of these modes in life where it's the same old, same old. Oh my God. Yes, the less your brain is reacting to the same old, same old, but it's also reacting less to the good stuff. That's why you can love your house, but stop appreciating it. That's why you can love your partner or your dog, but you get used to them. That's why you can have a life or a state of health that you've worked really hard for, but still feel kind of flat.

43:12Mel Robbins:Dr. Tali Sherritt would say, this is a sign that your brain has, quote, habituated. It has gotten used to the day-to-day. Whether the day-to-day is hard or the day-to-day is good, it's just the same old, same old. One of the fastest ways to just wake your brain back up, snap you back into the moment is novelty. Something different, something new, something on the calendar to look forward to, something to anticipate. And that means that putting something on your calendar, it isn't just this tiny little thing to shake things up. Oh my gosh. The research is so cool because it gives your mind somewhere good to go.

43:51Mel Robbins:It helps you get out of the day-to-day and escape it for a second and time travel and anticipate something that reminds you of who you are, that reminds you that life isn't just work. It isn't just caretaking. It isn't just scrolling on social media, life is meant to be lived. And you can experience that now by putting something in the future that you look forward to. And so as you answer this question, between now and the end of the year, what are you looking forward to? I'm going to share some of the things that I'm looking forward to because I'm hoping to spark something in you, to inspire you, to remind you of parts of you that you may have forgotten.

44:36Mel Robbins:And the very first thing that comes to mind, because this is happening in just a couple days, I am going on this trip that I am so excited about. It has been in the works for two years. It is a backpacking, camping, and whitewater rafting trip with our family. And even cooler, we're going with two families that we love that our kids grew up with. And I am so looking forward to this for a number of reasons. I'm looking forward to this because I love to camp. I love whitewater rafting. I love being on the river. I love hiking in canyons, and I love having our family together. And I also love experiencing these kinds of trips with friends and their families.

45:20Mel Robbins:And this is a big one because this trip has been on the calendar. Oh my gosh. Well, it's been on the calendar for 18 months, but it's been in planning mode for almost three years. We start at the Grand Canyon. We then hike down a full day hike. This thing sounds like a death march in the desert. We have to carry all of our own stuff down on our packs. This hike is like nine hours long. It's going to be 100 degrees. Honestly, all of the materials are scaring the hell out of me. Then we climb into rafts, and it's just our three families and the guides, and we are rafting for nine days and eight nights, camping along the river every night, sleeping in tents, pooping in a bucket.

46:04Mel Robbins:We are three days away from leaving for this trip, and we have tons of gear. So it's all spread out. We're laying out gear. We're trying to figure out what to bring. Our son Oakley has this beautiful new backpack that he's just bought that's only two pounds, and Chris has all this technical gear. And Sawyer did a backpacking trip through Asia for four months solo. And so she's got a pack that's like two years old. And there on the floor of our basement is my pack. Now, this pack is an OG. I bought this backpack in Grand Rapids, Michigan in 1986 because I was heading off as a freshman at Dartmouth College.

46:51I hate having to do math on the podcast.

46:54Mel Robbins:How long ago was 1986? How long ago was that, everybody? What?

47:07Mel Robbins:39 years. Wait, somebody check his math. 1986.

47:15Mel Robbins:Wait, I graduated from high school 40 years ago? Oh, my God. In fact, you guys, let's go get this thing. I'm gonna run down to the basement while we take a quick break so you can hear a word from our incredible sponsors. And if you're loving this episode, if you're thinking about somebody that you're proud of or somebody that you really wanna organize something that you have to look forward to for the remainder of the year, share this episode with them. Someone who needs the reset, someone who's been checking in on everybody else, but maybe hasn't checked in with themselves lately, be generous and copy the link, put it in a text and send it to them.

47:56Mel Robbins:And I promise you, this episode is going to inspire them to want to create something to look forward to with you. Already, don't go anywhere because when we come back, I'm going to be here with that backpack and another story to tell you. Stay with me.

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48:57Mel Robbins:Whenever I'm in our Boston studios to record the Mel Robbins podcast, the days are long, things move fast. My team and I cannot leave the studio to go run around Boston to grab things we forgot. That's why we use DoorDash. Early morning coffee runs, lunch runs, to get all those cool props that we use on the Mel Robbins podcast when you watch on YouTube. When life gets crazy, DoorDash helps bring some order to it. Order now. When it comes to investing, or really anything, don't you think it's important to choose a company that you can trust? One where you have the freedom to do things your way, with confidence.

49:32Mel Robbins:Because some days, you might want a little more control and flexibility. And other times, you may need a specialist in your corner to help out. While with Schwab, you get all that and more, all in one place. Schwab has everything from self-directed investing when you're thinking, hey, I got this, all the way to full service wealth management when you're like, you know what, I'm going to need to get some help. That includes planning for big goals too, like college, buying a house, retirement planning, and more. Because if you're going to do this whole money thing, you might as well choose a firm that lets you do it your way, right?

50:06Mel Robbins:Visit schwab.com to learn more. That's S-C-H-W-A-B dot com. You know, there's just something about spring that makes you just want to take everything outside. Your coffee in the morning, relaxing in the sun, maybe being outside hosting a few friends this weekend. If you've been thinking about your outdoor space and making it a place you want to hang, Paragold brings together some of design's best home brands in one place. And Paragold is offering the largest ever outdoor selection from furniture to weatherproof lighting, accents, and serverware in every style. You'll find high-quality pieces crafted to outlast the season and elevate your space.

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50:58Mel Robbins:Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins, and today you and I are reconnecting and doing a mid-year reset, and we're answering these two questions. The first one we've already answered, which is all about like, what are you proud of that's already happened this year? And the second one we're digging into, which is what do you have to look forward to? And I promised you before the break that I was going to go to the basement and I was going to drag my old pack up here so you can see that I am not exaggerating. This sucker is ancient history. And so let me show you this pack. Here she is, everybody.

51:36Mel Robbins:This is the, oh God, smells like it's 39 years old. It's a low alpine backpack. Holy cow. This thing weighs, I've been doing resistance training, so I'm now familiar with weights. This feels like a seven pounder. This is really heavy. Wait, David, is it 39 or 40? I've now got the backpack in my arms, if you're listening in audio, 39 or 40 years. 39 years and four months is how old this sucker is. It's got tears in it in the bottom, which is bad. It means stuff is gonna fall out. It is stained to the hill. This backpack, holy cow. I have climbed mountains. I have gone to the Wynn River Range. I've gone down the Talichalitna in Alaska with this sucker.

52:25Mel Robbins:It is stained. It is heavy. It has served me well. So here's the question. Should I get a new one? What do you think? You know, I'm the kind of person that really, I kind of like rolling into a situation with the worst equipment and then smoking it. And everybody's shocked that I'm actually a great hiker with a outdated, almost four decade old ripped backpack, you know, held together with duct tape. But I'm kind of feeling like I'm not doing myself any favors because I don't want a repeat of what happened on our last big hiking trip. Now, you may remember this story, and if you're brand new to the podcast, don't worry.

53:06Mel Robbins:I will just give you the details of it because I did an entire episode a couple summers ago about this, but here's the short version. Our family loves hiking and camping, and we drove eight hours a couple summers ago to Baxter State Park in Maine to climb Mount Katahdin in Maine. Now, this is a huge family trip, a big bucket list. And if you don't know why Mount Katahdin is such a cool mountain, it is the northern end of the Appalachian Trail, meaning people that do through hiking up the Appalachian Trail, they either start the through hike at Mount Katahdin or they end it there. It is steep. It is rocky.

53:48Mel Robbins:I'm talking boulders the size of Volkswagen Bugs. It takes all day. You got to start at the crack of dawn. So we prep. My husband is Mr. Camper. He's a Knowles alum. He was on the Knowles advisory board, which basically mean the guy loves to live outside. The man would live in a yurt if I allowed him to, but I'm not going to allow him to because you smell when you camp in a yurt, but that's a different story. So here we are. We have been prepping for a week. Chris had spent the entire day before the drive packing up the pickup truck. We were constantly checking the list, constantly like, you got this, you got this.

54:25Mel Robbins:And of course, we are all over our three adult kids because we think they're the ones who are not going to remember something important. So we pull into the park after eight hours in the pickup truck. And all of a sudden I realized, oh my God, my hiking boots are sitting on the back porch in freaking Vermont, eight hours from here. The only shoes that I have are Birkenstocks. Birkenstocks to climb a mountain. When I realized this, I put my hands on my face and just bowed my head. Everyone in the car went silent, but here's what we did. We turned around. We drove 45 minutes in the wrong direction because Baxter State Park is in the middle of nowhere.

55:22Mel Robbins:We found a tiny farm supply store, and there between the muck boots and the work boots was a single pair of hiking boots, brand new. and they were my size. Now, they were a little tight. They were extremely stiff, which if you know anything about hiking or doing a 5K or doing anything, you do not buy brand new things that you do not break in for this kind of thing. But I'm going to tell myself, I said, that's it. This is a sign. This is a sign that everything's going to be okay. And I told myself, these boots are going to be unbelievable. These boots right here, these are going to be magic boots.

56:03Mel Robbins:And you know what happened? I climbed the mountain. 12 hours, zero blisters. And the thing that I want to say about this is that one of the things that I'm super proud of about that moment, you get a choice about what your mindset is going to be. And I could have easily allowed my mindset and my attitude to be, okay, well, I have boots, but I'm screwed. I'm going to have blisters the size of Mount Katahdin by the time we're done. I'm never going to make it up the mountain. This is going to be horrible. It might even be better on my Birkenstocks. This is going to like, these aren't going to work.

56:35And if I had gone down that road, I guarantee you I would have had blisters the size

56:41Mel Robbins:of Mount Katahdin and I wouldn't have made it up the mountain. But because in that moment when I saw the boots and I'm like, these are my size, I can make these work. And I'm going to start telling myself, these are going to be the best boots on the planet. I am not going to have blisters. I swear to God, mind over matter. And it taught me an important lesson. Your settings in your mind about what you believe is gonna happen, change what is gonna happen. You get a choice about whether or not you're gonna say, today's gonna be a good day, or oh God, today's gonna be horrible. You get a choice about whether or not you say, I can figure this out.

57:16Mel Robbins:It's gonna be better than I thought, or I'm screwed. And so think about something right now that you're dreading or that you have a negative attitude about. And I want you to apply what I just told you about the hiking boots to it. What could you say to yourself instead? Can you say, I can figure this out. I'm underprepared, but I can figure this out. I'm nervous and I can still do it. This is gonna go way better than I think it's going to. I can make a mistake and still like have an incredible experience and learn for it. That's what I want you to do in your life. And honestly, that's what I'm choosing to do about this incredible trip going down the Grand Canyon.

57:57Mel Robbins:And what I'm really excited about when I think about why I'm looking forward to this is that when, you know, Chris and I were younger and our kids were really little, this is what we did all the time. We were always camping. We did this before we had kids. Chris and I were always fly fishing or hiking or camping or out in the back country. In fact, our honeymoon, we went on a fly fishing trip to Montana in the middle of nowhere, Twin Bridges, give you a big shout out there. And part of it is because we both love being outside. I grew up in Western Michigan and was always outside. And Chris grew up hiking and skiing in Vermont.

58:35Mel Robbins:And, you know, that was part of our life. And then what happens? Life happens. Kids, work, schedules, sports, bills, aging parents, dogs, homes, responsibility. And little by little, the things that you used to do, they just somehow slip through your fingers and drift out of your life. Not because you don't love them anymore, but because you stopped making room for them. And I think that's one of the reasons why I'm so excited about this trip. And I bet there's something in your life. There's something that you used to do. And often when somebody asks you, what are you looking forward to? You think about things that are new, but maybe there's something to look forward to that's you bringing back the old, something that makes you feel like yourself again.

59:30Mel Robbins:Maybe you need to pick up the guitar. Maybe you need to sign up for dance lessons. Maybe you need to take a Saturday and go fishing for the afternoon. I mean, what did you used to do that made you feel alive? What did you and your partner do when you were first dating? What did you actually love to do before life got so full? Did you cycle all the time? Chris used to do that. He used to do triathlons. Would you sit in a coffee shop and read for hours? Were you in a book group? Did you play tennis? Did you paint? See, having something to look forward to is important because it reminds you that your life isn't just about what you're dealing with today.

1:00:13Mel Robbins:It helps you pull your head out of the routine and look ahead and go, oh yeah, oh yeah, I get to enjoy my life. It makes you feel excited again. It gives you a little spark. So what is it for you that you're looking forward to? And it doesn't have to be something big. Maybe it's a wedding that's coming up. Maybe it's one of your kids that are coming home. Maybe you're playing in a golf tournament. Maybe you're realizing, wait, I don't have anything and maybe that's why I feel so down. I need something to look forward to. You know, one thing you could do is you could reach out to friends. It's our 30th wedding anniversary this year.

1:00:57Mel Robbins:And, you know, Chris and I talked about whether or not we were gonna do a big party. And one of the things about a big party, they're a lot of fun, but when you're hosting a big party, do you ever really talk to anybody? No, of course not. Neither do I, because I'm busy throwing the party. And so I said to Chris, instead, why don't we just make a list and let's pick all of our favorite friends that don't live near us and let's schedule like five weekends where we invite people to come hang out with us or we go to them. And so another thing that I'm looking forward to, steal this idea, is we have groups of friends coming to Vermont and groups of friends gathering in other places five different weekends.

1:01:41Mel Robbins:And in fact, I'm gonna invite you to one of them right now because one of the weekends is August 21st. I am doing something so cool and I want you to come hang out with me I'm throwing out the opening pitch for the Red Sox it's a Friday night game at Fenway Park at 7pm your friend Mel is going to be on that mound I'm going to launch that ball I'm going to be practicing I want to make you proud but it's let them night and our daughter Kendall is singing the national anthem and you can get tickets and you can come hang out with us And I would love to have that experience to look forward to with you.

1:02:20Mel Robbins:And we've got a ton of friends coming into Boston to be able to be at the game that night. They're playing, I know you're gonna ask me, so they're playing the San Francisco Giants. It's August 21st, Fenway Park. Talk about an epic summer night to look forward to. Plus it's let them night. Plus there's a bobblehead. Yup, it's the first time in Red Sox history that they are doing a bobblehead to honor a woman. So if you're in the Boston area or if it's always been on your bucket list to experience Fenway Park and an evening Friday night game with the Red Sox in that historic stadium, come hang with me.

1:02:57Mel Robbins:And then we both have the same thing to look forward to. I've been blabbing on and on. I'm looking forward to the Grand Canyon trip. I'm looking forward to all of these groups of friends that we're going to be seeing. I'm looking forward to Let Them Night at Fenway Park on August 21st and seeing you there. Now it's your turn. What are you looking forward to? And if there's nothing that comes to mind or there's nothing in the calendar, don't feel bad about that. It's just a cue. It's a cue that you gotta put something in there. And so I want you to pick one thing because as I've been yammering on and on and on about camping and about concerts and about just making dates to see friends.

1:03:41Mel Robbins:Oh, I got another thing I'm looking forward to. My niece is getting married. My niece is getting married in the fall. I'm looking forward to that because we're gonna see a lot of family that I really love and I don't see very often. Do you have something like that? Put it in the calendar. And if you don't have something like that, I want you to pick something. What is something that brings you joy? Whether it's something you used to do or it's something that you've been wanting to do. And here's one more thing. As your friend, I wanna nudge you to do this. Is there someone else that you could invite to do it with you?

1:04:12Mel Robbins:Like, is there a bluegrass festival that you've wanted to go to? Is there a tennis clinic that you wanted to play in? Is there a trail that you've been wanting to hike that is just, you know, an hour outside the city you live in? Send the person the text. You want to do this with me? That's it. And if they say no, let them. Then ask someone else or go by yourself. But don't put your life on hold. Don't just stay in autopilot doing the same old, same old. Because here's one thing that I'm going to keep reminding you. If you change nothing, nothing changes. Nothing. If you change nothing, nothing changes.

1:04:51Mel Robbins:And one thing I want you to change is I want you to have something to look forward to. The research on this is very clear. And I think as you're listening to me and you're thinking about your own life, you're either thinking, well, it's nice for Mel, or you're thinking, God, I got to get myself back. I got to host a neighborhood barbecue. I got to do something. And I'm begging you, the future that you want, the things that you are looking forward to in the future, they start today. They start by picking a date, picking a thing, making a plan, sending the text, buying the tickets, or just organizing the group that's going to go on that hike and you deserve to have something in your life that makes you look up and go, oh my God, I can't wait for that.

1:05:38Mel Robbins:I can't wait for that. And the things that are out in the future that you're really excited about are also important because they help you get through the challenges that you're facing today. They remind you of who you are. They remind you that life is more than bills and going to work and grocery shopping and trying to do laundry and trying to answer all the emails. There are parts of your life that are meant to be enjoyed. But don't make the mistake that I made of just assuming that somehow it's all going to magically fall out of the sky. If you don't have something to look forward to as your friend, I'm telling you right now, I don't want you to do another thing after you're done listening to this, but to create something to look forward to because you deserve that.

1:06:24Mel Robbins:So that's it. I told you we were just gonna hang out and talk as if we're on a walk today. And let me just remind you of the two things that you're taking away from this episode because these are the two things I'm taking away. First, stop and give yourself more credit. You are doing so much for everybody. You're taking care of everybody else. You're going to work. you're doing all kinds of stuff, okay? And yet you're not giving yourself enough credit. Stop measuring your life by the things that you haven't done. Instead, I want you to ask yourself, well, what have I done this year that I'm proud of?

1:07:06Mel Robbins:That's it. What's one thing that you're proud of? And take a moment to really acknowledge yourself. The second thing that you're gonna take away from this, what are you looking forward to? And if there's something there, just like savor it for a minute. Because if you close your eyes and you think about that wedding or you think about that trip or you think about when your adult kids are coming home or you think about, that's how you can tap into the power to lift yourself up right now. And I wanna be clear about something because this has been a very difficult year for a lot of reasons. And no matter where you are right now, no matter what kind of year that you've had so far.

1:07:47Mel Robbins:Using these two questions, you have the power within yourself to reset the way you experience the rest of the year. You will tap into the resilience inside of you that's already there. It was just waiting for these two questions to remind you that, yes, you have the power to feel proud of some of the little things that you've already done this year. You have the power to feel proud of how you showed up for other people, to feel proud of the weight that you've been carrying and you still get out of bed and you still go to work. You have the power to feel proud that you graduated or that you got that new job or that you got through that breakup.

1:08:27Mel Robbins:Those are things that you deserve to take a moment and go, you know what, well done. There are lots of things that you have done a great job of this year and I want you to take a moment and say, well done. And you also have the power to create something to look forward to. And don't underestimate how important that is. Remember what I like to tell you, if you change nothing, nothing changes. And the one thing that you could change is putting something out there that gives you a reason to look forward to the rest of the year, because I want you to have that. And one more thing, in case no one else has told you this, as your friend, I wanted to be sure to tell you, I love you.

1:09:10Mel Robbins:I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. Answering these two questions, hitting the reset, reminding yourself that there are things that you deserve and should feel proud of, and taking the time to put something out into the future for the remainder of the year that gives you something to look forward to, of course that's gonna make your life better. And that's why I'm so excited that you spent this time with me because that's what I want for you. Alrighty, I will see you in the very next episode. I'm gonna be waiting for you the moment you hit play.

1:09:50Mel Robbins:Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

1:10:31Mel Robbins:I am so excited that Sephora is now a sponsor of the Mel Robbins podcast, because you know what? I'm in there all the time. Here are a few things that I love. I love the Kerastase Chronologist Overnight Use Serum. It makes my hair feel silky smooth and full of life. I also love the Salt-N-Stone Santal and Vetiver Extra Strength Aluminum-Free Deodorant. It has no aluminum, alcohol, parabens, or phthalates. And I love Merit Great Skin Instant Glow Serum. It hydrates my skin before I put on makeup. Shop now, in store or at sephora.com. Here's one thing you might not know. Did you know that your vagina has its very own microbiome?

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