If This Episode Doesn’t Motivate You, Nothing Will

24:45We work so hard to find so many differences in ourselves when it's so easy to find something that connect us. He connected us because he was a teacher and he was able to say he connected with me because it was like I didn't know that I was looking for him in our family. In life, the greatest moments is going to happen when you're not prepared for them, when you're not looking for them. and Ant came through. I used to call him Ant. Ant came through and he just used to be like smoking a cigarette, drinking a hot tea, eating the craziest stuff. But it was like, wow, little go out there and live. It's waiting for you.

25:23It was waiting for me. I didn't give up. I could have overdosed. I didn't give up in New York City. I didn't give up. Ant didn't give up. I didn't give up. And what he did, he showed me that I'm going to get out and I'm going to create what Anthony Bourdain created. But I'm going to show people that's where I'm from. So as I'm looking at Anthony, I'm reading books, stuff on George Lewis. I'm reading all this type of stuff. And I'm in there in this university mode. And that was the whole thing. I'm not in prison. I'm in Princeton. I felt as though like, because I felt as though the information that I could learn here, I could go out there and make his money, make as much money as somebody that's in Ivy League right now.

25:58But the only thing different, I had to pay with my life. I ain't going to owe them no back money. I ain't going to owe them no lungs. I ain't going to repay that. I just got to get out here and perform. I got to get out here and do my thing. See, you only get paid for your performance in this life. Performance is when you get up every day and you put your energy into something. You only get paid for your performance. So if you got a nine to five, you getting paid for your performance. If you got a business, you getting paid for what you put into there. You got to perform. And the more you perform, the better you get.

26:26If you're an athlete, you go out there and you score more and more points, you won't get bigger, bigger deal. So it's about you only get paid for your performance in life. Nobody's coming to save you. Nobody's waiting for you. Nobody ain't shit falling out the sky for you based off of, oh, I know you. You're my friend. Oh, we went to the same college. Oh, we from the same neighborhood. Nobody give a fuck about that. Everybody trying to win. So perform and win. And if you don't do that, you're done. Well, you were dropping so much wisdom. I cannot write fast enough. And I also do not want to interrupt you.

27:00As you've been talking just now, I have three people in my mind who need to hear this. I bet as you're listening and as you're watching right now on YouTube, you have people that are coming to mind. So we're going to take a quick second to breathe. And while we're going to listen to our sponsors for a few seconds, I want you to take a moment and share this conversation with someone you care about. And stick around. We've got so much more to cover. And Wallow and I are going to be waiting for you after this short break. So stay with me.

27:36Welcome back. It's your buddy, Mel Robbins. I hope you're feeling as fired up as I am because, Wallo, I don't even want to waste time. I really feel like the person who is with us right now has no idea what they are capable of until they hear all the information that you're going to be dropping on us today. So let's just jump right back in. And here's what I wanted to ask you next. You have also said that there are more people mentally incarcerated in the free world than in prison. Talk to me about that because I love this university mode and people use all kinds of freaking excuses to not improve themselves, to not educate themselves, to not learn new skills, to not seek out other mentors.

28:18And I think you're right that there's more people incarcerated mentally in the free world than in prison. But what does that mean to you and how do you get yourself into university mode? Because you know what's happened? Tell me. When people used to come to prison, they fresh off the streets, I used to interrogate them. I used to interrogate them about what life is on the streets and the free world because I had it. I never wanted to be the person that was stuck. A lot of people, when your family member go to prison, they're stuck in a time that they was incarcerated. So I didn't want to be stuck there.

28:50So in order for me not to be stuck there, everybody that would come to prison, I wouldn't interrogate them. Sometime I would have had a CO on the block, the one that was, you know, all right, I had them keep my cell as a transit cell. So somebody come and they not been in there for long, for like a week or two. Then I get somebody else because I used to love to stay up and just ask people questions about the free world. So this kid told me about Google in the yard. So we walk in the yard. He said, yeah, there's this thing called Google, man. I can find anything about anybody. I said, yeah, that's decent.

29:15He said, I can find stuff out about you. I looked at him. I said, man, you think I'm stupid? I've been in jail, but I'm not dumb. I ain't even on planet Earth no more. How you gonna find? I'm in here. Nobody know nothing about me. So I typed my name in here, Wildest People. And I'm like, all this stuff popped up. I dropped the phone. I'm like, damn, the feds on me, the CIA, they watching me. I didn't know what was going on because I never seen nothing like this. I've been in prison all this time. This is 2000, like 2013, 12, something like that. I don't even know. So I'm like, once I got that, I set up the social media.

29:47And that's where the 267 come from, Wallow 267. 267 was my prison number, DG267. And when I go to set up the Instagram, somebody had Wallow, so I had to add the 267. Even though that's the Philly zip code, but it also was my number. I mean, it's filiarical, but whatever the case may be, when I went on social media and I started seeing people in life, I'm like, hold up. Everybody was locked into an idea of what they think they should be based off of somebody else. And I was just seeing different cities. I just seen a bunch of people doing the same thing. And I'm like, it wasn't like that when I was growing up.

30:22Mel, if you're going to school in Boston, you ain't know what they was doing in Duke. If you went to Boston College, you ain't know what they was doing in Duke. You ain't know because we didn't have no social media to connect. So now we're living in a world where everybody emulating everybody. Everybody got the same hairstyle. They wear the same clothes. They wear nobody. Like, you got to think about it. Some of these big people, they would have never got this stuff. They would have never had this influence back in the day because if you ain't get on Oprah or MTV, nobody knew about you. So now I'm like, hold up.

30:52Don't nobody got no independent thought no more. So I'm like, oh, there's more people out there in prison. It's going to be easy out there. There's more people incarcerated than there's incarcerated because everybody out there walking around with a cell around their brain. And how would you describe that to somebody who doesn't realize that they're in a cell in their brain? Because they're afraid. The reason I say they're in a cell is because they're afraid to go out there and do what they want to do. So they even in a cell based off, you're in a cell based off of worrying about people's opinions, worrying about how people think of you.

31:25So now you can't move. You can't move. You're in a cell when you just, I'm just going to follow what they're doing. I don't want to have my own thoughts. I'm a part of this group that I don't even know why I'm a part of this group, but I think it's okay to be a part of this group. And I might only be a part of this group because where I was raised, who my parents are, the influence they gave me. I don't even know why I'm here. It's true. You know how many people that's like, hold up. I'm a part of this. I'm a part of this. And they will argue with you about why you're so wrong about being a part of something.

31:56And you like, I don't even, you can't even tell me why you're a part of what you, was you arguing with somebody else and telling them that they wrong and they a part of this over there. Think about that. People is just a part of something based because somebody told them to be a part of something or just because their mom was a part of something, their dad was a part of something, or people in their community was a part of something. They don't even know why. It's true. And then people get to a point in their life and exactly what you said happens. You start to say, I don't really like my life.

32:22I don't like how I feel. Why am I doing this? Why am I an accountant? How did I end up in jail? Why did I marry this person? This is the issue. And I realized this is what happened. We don't value the most important thing in every human being life. We use it for the wrong things. We use it for humanity. if you use it for, the most important thing in your life will always tell you the truth. Even if you duck it, will always be real for you. Will always show you who you truly are is the mirror. Not your friend, not somebody's show. The mirror will never lie to you because when you look in that mirror, you see who you is when nobody else is around, when nobody else is looking.

33:08when you get about the bed and your hair not done, you've not got that shave, your breath's stinking or whatever it is, and you go, and you go to splash water on your face, even before that, you go to use the bathroom and you walk by that mirror and you see yourself, you got all the answers there. You just keep running away from it. You're scared to be you. You're scared to be, the raw truth is there in that mirror. That's the raw truth, but you use it for vanity. And you know what's crazy about the mirror? A lot of times when you go to the mirror, a lot of y 'all be getting pimped by people future perceptions of you.

33:39Will he be getting pimp? Because when you go to the mirror in the morning, you know what you use it for? You use it for dumb stuff. You go to the mirror, especially if you got the big mirror in your living room or where you getting dressed at, you put all this stuff on, you're looking at it, and you say to yourself, oh, I don't like this. It's not that you don't like this. You don't think the people at work is going to like it. You don't think the place that you're going to is going to like it. The wedding, the party, the whatever. It's not even about you no more. See, you're using the mirror in the wrong way.

34:04You're supposed to be using the mirror to empower yourself and have real conversations with yourself and really look at who you truly are, but you don't use the mirror for that. You use the mirror for vanity. You use the mirror to keep pushing yourself back. When are you going to use the mirror to lift yourself up? When are you going to use the mirror to get forward? When are you going to stop being a scaredy cat? When are you going to grow up? Guess what? time is not on your side. One day you better realize that. Take advantage of the mirror. How do I do that? Like, I really mean this. I don't mean this like a cliche question because being honest with yourself can be a very difficult thing to do.

34:53Yeah. So many people sit in the wrong relationship for years. They stay in a job that makes them miserable. They keep making choices that are the easier choice now, but it makes your life harder, whether that's drinking too much or spending money that you don't have or spending time with people that really aren't your people and bring you down. How do you have that moment of honesty? Because it didn't happen immediately for you. There was so much shit that went down in your life and so much pain that you had to experience to get to a point where you're like, I'm just done with this shit. I got to this unhappy place by being someone I'm not, and I need to change.

35:39So how can I use the mirror, not for vanity, but to truly cause that kind of moment of truth that you need to have in order to change your life for the better? Mel, look at me. I'm talking to you personally. Okay. You know how you say, let them? Fuck them. Okay. Fuck them. You got to be violent with it. And when I say violent in the inside, this violence got to take place, not to anybody else. Okay. But you got to be ruthless within to say, you know what? I'm tired of you taking advantage of me. I'm tired of you being in my life. A lot of people is out here sleeping with the enemy. Their biggest hater is somebody that's laying next to them.

36:20Their biggest hater is one of their friends. Their biggest hater is one of their parents. Their biggest hater is one of their siblings. You got to be violent about it. let them fuck them. Fuck them. Say it, Mel. Fuck them. Say it loud and bell. Fuck them. Fuck. On the count of three, we're going to say it together. One, two, three. Fuck them. You got to be like that. We're not going to be here forever, Mel. We got to leave. And until you embrace the reality that you got to leave, you're going to keep catering to somebody else for their benefit. Mel, you got it all. You got money. You got this.

37:00You got that. But somewhere in your life, you got to cut that fucking button on, Mel. Even Mel got to do that. Melly Mel. Come on, Melly Mel. That's what my friends call me in high school. You got to do it, Melly Mel. You got to be able to, even you. Yes. You got people. There's lots of places. Actually, the more you actually say it, the more successful and free you become. Because you realize you have been a prisoner to other people's opinions. You've been a prisoner to making things easier for everybody else. you've been a prisoner to the easy decisions because you didn't want to make the hard one and that freedom comes when you are able to truly choose the harder path be honest with yourself first that shit's not working and the main thing that's not working is you and the decisions that you're making and stop blaming everybody else like that's the other thing the bottom line is you got to really do the big thing.

37:59You got to say, fuck them. You got it. Like, like, because it can't be, if you keep, because this one it is. Yeah. You keep negotiating with yourself and renegotiating with yourself. You're supposed to cut them off two years ago. They've been told you that they do not deal with you. They do not support you. They do not value you. You know, what's even more interesting. You know, what's even more interesting about this wallow and why this is so important is that nine times out of 10, the fuck them that you have to say is really more about your own resistance and bullshit that you're making up in your mind about what you think other people are going to think if you do the thing.

38:40Like it's even like before, it's one thing if somebody treats you poorly, that's pretty obvious when it's happening. But you treat yourself so poorly because let's say you want to start a YouTube channel or you want to go into real estate or you want to go back to nursing school. Most people hold themselves back not because of what other people are actually saying, but because of what you're saying to yourself. Well, I can't go into real estate because my friend will think I copied them. Let me tell you something. The reality is, don't nobody give a fuck about what you're doing. It's true. Don't nobody really, like nobody gives a fuck.

39:16Like don't know, like everybody keep thinking the day is so important that every, Nobody gives a fuck about what you're doing. They don't care as much as you think they care. A lot of stuff is a mind game. A lot of this shit be mind. And we be battling in our mind and we be like, hold up. I got to go this way because they're going to say this. I got to do this because they're going to say this. I got to wear this because they're going to say this. I got, man, fuck what they think. At the end of the day, you got to be willing to have people mad at you. But that's why you got to say yes to you and no to them.

39:48Yes. the discipline of saying no and the freedom that follows. Get that book. But listen, at the end of the day, you gotta get my book. It's coming. Listen, at the end of the day, that's why I created Yes to You because it's like, everybody's saying, like, we live in this world where it's dope. If you say yes, you the hero. If you say no, you create a victim. Like, we live in this manipulative world today. Everybody is using words. Oh, I'm a victim. This ain't go right. Like, this ain't go right. Listen, we all play a part. If you fuck me over today, Mel, and I allow you to fuck me over, I like being fucked over.

40:27That's it. That's dual accountability, right? I gotta be, like, we both accountable, right? You said fuck me, you don't fuck. I think if it happens once, that's once. If it happens a second time. It always happens a second time because people keep holding on to yesterday. Tomorrow is going to be better than yesterday when you say yes to you. and no to them. But if not, you're going to keep reliving in it. It always happened the second time. Well, that's the test. That's the universe and God seeing if you're paying attention. It always happened the third time. People is too comfortable with being comfortable.

41:04You got to be uncomfortable and really to win out here. You got to be, listen, all the winners that we see, nobody see them up all night doing research. Nobody see them in the gym working out, shooting a thousand shots in the gym. Nobody is uncomfortable. Your body hurt, you ache, you tired, you sweating. Like, that's what life is about. But as long as you keep saying yes to them, you're saying no to you. All right, let's be honest. This conversation, can we agree it's a masterclass? Mindset, purpose, real life growth, the truth. If your brain needs a minute to catch up, I get it. I feel like mine does too.

41:45So we're going to take a beat. And here's what I want you to do. Text this episode to somebody who needs it. I have a few people in mind who for sure need a little bit of wallow in their life. And while we're taking this quick break and we let our sponsors shine for just a few seconds, don't go anywhere. Because we've got so much more with wallow coming up right after this. Stay with me.

42:18Welcome back. It's your buddy, Mellie Mel. That's right, Wallo. I love that you called me that, and I love that you're here, and I love that you're sharing this with everybody. All right, Wallo, I got so much more I want to jump into with you. Here's where we're going next. I want to ask you a question because I feel like people change because of one of two reasons. One is pain. That's always the source for me. And the second is clarity. But clarity often comes from these deep moments of pain. When you were about to be released from prison, after being in prison for two decades, you had this video where you said that you had $1 ,000 saved up from the various jobs you worked in prison, from money that your family sent you, and you were so clear about what you were going to do when you got released.

43:11Can you share that? Because I want to unpack the power of that intention and the power of being clear because I feel like one of the things that really gets in people's way is they don't even, they're not even clear about what they want. And you were so clear that I could tell in the video, I'm like, this guy's going to do this. So tell that story and then tell me about the power of being clear about who you are and what you're out to do. See, when I came home from prison, number one, the first day it was time for me to get out, I was scared. You were scared? The scariest day of prison was the day that they let me go.

43:55And I'm going to tell you why before I get to where I'm going. Because I never was who I told my family that I was ready to be. I never was that person before. The person that I said I became, there was no temptation to show that I was that person. I was that person of the mind. But I wasn't that portion off of lived experience and action yet. So I was scared walking out because I'm like, wow, I got to deal with temptation. Once I got out there, smelled the air, breathing. Oh, man. When I did that video, I said in Nanny Middle Room. Shout out to Nanny. When I put that money on the bed, it seemed like yesterday when I did that video, I wasn't out of prison that many days.

44:35I was so clear in knowing. If you ever seen that video, you know what I'm talking about. She might put it in here. If you ever seen that video, you could see it. I knew. I spoke with conviction, and I'm clear about everything. Because you ready to know why I was so clear, Mel? Yes, I am. Who the fuck going to stop me? Ain't nobody worrying about me. Ain't nobody worrying about you. Nobody is going to get in your fucking... Don't nobody care. Who is going to stop you from materializing your dreams? And guess what? And guess what, Mel? Tell me. Americans be taking, playing games. What would they got?

45:14I said, I'm going to destroy them out here. They're out here playing fucking games. They don't even know where they live at. I said, I am going to destroy them like I'm an immigrant. Like I just got here. I'm going to destroy them. Nobody is going to stop me. Do you know how easy it is to set a business up? Do you know how easy it is to get a trademark? Do you know how easy it is to do these things? Do you know how easy it is to open up a bank account? Do you know how easy it is to get a passport? Do you know how easy it is to get a real ID? Do you know how easy that is? Nobody block you from doing them.

45:45So you mean to tell me, hold up, I could go on one of these sites and I could set up my whole business. I could just walk in the bank with two pieces of paper and say here in my ID and they could open up an account. I get a card. I get a miracle. I could go on social media and promote my products for free. Like, I'm sure somebody is going to stop me. I'm sure somebody is going to say, no, the fuck you're not, Wallow. You can't come on from prison and start. Who is going? Don't nobody care. Can't nobody stop me. Nobody is going to get in your fucking way. Can you please tell that to the person listening?

46:22Nobody is going to get in your fucking way. But you. Because what happened is, this is how it be. you be going to do your thing, right? You be going to do your thing. And this will happen. You jump right in front of yourself and say, uh-uh, you ain't going nowhere. You ain't going to be great. No, you can't do it. You're your biggest fucking hater. You. You always talk yourself out of ideas. Soon as you say, here it is. I put the idea down. I'm ready to do it. No, you're not. Then you sit back down. I'm sorry. It's so fucking true. You sit back down. You do all this research. You got, listen, We walking around with computers in our pockets.

47:00When I grew up, I didn't know nobody in the neighborhood that had a fucking computer, man. You only see that when you go downtown and you go into one of them buildings. And the computer was big as its table back then. You're walking around with a computer in your pocket. You mean to tell me you can ask a phone or anything? Back in the day, we had to go to a library to figure out something. And some books that we had. First, we had to find a book of the information we was looking for and hope they told us what we was looking for. Nobody is going to stop you but you. Now, let me ask you a question.

47:32When is you going to stop being the biggest enemy in your life? You're your biggest enemy. Nobody cares. Nobody's going to stop you. So what? They're going to talk about you. So what? They're going to laugh at you. What does that mean? Haters is your marketing team. Let them work. Haters is your marketing team. Let them work. They tell people about you. you know how many haters that get you followers from laughing at you or sending your stuff around to their friends look at this clown look at this they did that to me they laughed at me so what they was laughing at me because I was different I was laughing at them because they all the same what makes you cool look at it look at what's going on the smart fearless people is out here destroying shit the people that say I'm gonna sit here I don't care I'm gonna stay on this chair I'm gonna build my app They running stuff.

48:24When are you going to start running your life? Because you don't even run your life. You know what came to mind as you were saying that? Is that here you are free and you're building wealth and you're doing your thing. And you are just doing your thing. And the people who are in prison are the ones that are calling you names and hating on you. But the haters are helping you build your wealth. But listen. You know what I'm saying? Like in the prison of their mind. Because think about how incarcerated you are if you spend any of your time and energy tearing people down online. When you could take that time and energy and actually put it into educating yourself or building something that you want and getting out of your own way.

49:08You talk a lot about energy, how important it is to protect it. Let's talk about energy. Energy is very important, right? right you got different levels of energy you got positive energy you got negative energy then you just got floating energy energy that you don't know what the fuck's going on you don't know what you want to do energy i think there's a lot of people with that like yeah yeah but because a lot of times like the reality is it's sad and the sad truth is some people just don't got the energy to change Change is uncomfortable Because you got to cut that switch on You got to be willing to be talked about I did a post And I said on the post I said strangers make you rich Strangers make you rich Stop worrying about the people that you know Stop worrying about the people you went to school with Stop worrying about the people that you went to college with Strangers make you rich Strangers made Bon Jovi bitch It made Guns N' Roses rich Michael Jackson rich Michael Jordan rich Just think if only people that was Michael Jordan fans was the 15, 20 people, 30 people, 100 people we know.

50:18That's not enough. Stop worrying about, oh, they don't support me. They don't want me. Oh, man. Shut up. Strangers make you rich. When you go to Mel's show, there's people you never knew. They didn't go to college with you, Mel. Uh-uh. They don't know you. They wasn't your childhood friends, Mel. Nope. No, no, no. No, no. Now, everybody that Mel's talking about, let them, them people that, they don't matter. The people that support it and understand the mindset shift, they matter. We spend too much time worrying about the people that's not supporting or the people that's not there that we forget to say, I want to give a shout out right now on Mel, Melie Mel's show to everybody that ever supported WALO267.

51:08I'm talking about everybody that reposted me That liked it Even the people that talk bad about me Like at the end of the day If you want If you're talking about wealth You're talking about getting You got to have that right energy And you got to have the energy You got to have the energy To put yourself in position Before you get in position I was a millionaire before I was a millionaire Let me tell you something What does that mean? You were a millionaire before you were a millionaire I was a millionaire before I was a millionaire And I was preparing for my bank account I was preparing for everything to come because let me tell you something, Mel.

51:38I'm living in Philadelphia. I'm living in Nanny Middle Room, right? So I'm living in the middle room. I used to get on the subway. I had my backpack on. Or sometime I walked from Bro and Allegheny all the way to downtown Center City, Philadelphia. Whatever. It depends. I got my earphones on. I'm listening to Sanford. I'm jamming. I'm singing to myself. I'm laughing. People thought I was crazy because I used to dance all through the streets. Sometimes I throw Bruce Springsteen on streets of Philadelphia. Come on. He's singing. I'm walking through the streets. I feel like I'm in the movie. But I feel like Bruce.

52:10I'm like, Bruce. I'm like, yeah. The boss is singing to me. He's singing. He's my. Listen, you know how every time I come out the house sometimes, like a couple times a week, I had at Streets of Philadelphia playing by the boss. And I'm like, yeah, he's doing my theme music. It's like I come out, you're not like superhero. Yes. It's like Streets of Philadelphia. Everyone needs to walk on, man. I'm like, yeah. So I go downtown, right? And I'm telling you, you got to be bold. I was cocky with my imagination. and I'm going to tell you about how me going to prison from 17 to 37, it fortified my imagination.

52:41So I came back out with imagination like I was 17. But let me tell you about my imagination. I used to go downtown Philadelphia, the Four Seasons, one of the best hotels in the city, right? I'd go down there, right? I'd go to the bar, right? Just give me a hot tea and a to-go cup with lemon and honey because I'm like, it's on the top floor. I can overlook the city. I'm the man right now. You got to know you're the man. And you got to, listen, you got to know that you him. You got to know that you her before you become there, before you arrive. So I go there, get my hot tea. Right after there, I leave.

53:14I go see one of these luxury condos downtown. I'll go look at it. Because once I realize it, hold up. I could go check out an apartment, luxury condo. I could go test drive a car. And I ain't got to have no money in my account like that. Oh, it's on. So I'm just preparing myself for the lifestyle and I'm going to live. Like, I'm preparing myself. So I go in there and I never forget. I put my backpack down. I go in the condolet to be showing. Yeah. I'll be sitting back. So what do you think I should put here? Should I put my painting on the wall? Should I put my art here? Should I put the couch there?

53:45They're like, yeah, see, what I would do is, and I'm just like, yeah. And I'm taking my time. I'm not in no rush because I'm filling it in. I'm like, I would like to see that. Let me see the rooftop. Go on the rooftop. Smell the air. Overlook the city. It's nice. Do y 'all got a jacuzzi in there? Pool? Okay. Let me check that out. Oh, yeah. lead air. I go to the dealership, BMW, Benz, whatever. I'll be like, test drive. Yeah, let me test drive that. I'm talking about I want to test drive the most expensive car. Get in that John driver, seatbelt on. Hook the Bluetooth up because I need to play my music, throw my theme music on, coming through, window down, hand hanging.

54:22I'm like, it's nice. I get used to this. He's like, what you thinking about it? I said, I'm thinking, man. Let me go a couple more blocks. They're on their phone. They don't even care. I'm just prepping. I'm getting ready, right? I'm getting ready for the life that's coming. You got to be ready for the life. You got to live inside the life that you want before you get the life. And you got to live inside it right here. See, what happened with me that was different than people out here, when I went to prison 17 to 37, my imagination was fortified. I didn't have to deal with the real life issues that tear you down and beat down your imagination.

54:56Having getting married, divorced, heartbreak, getting lost, losing the job. So when I came out, I believe I could fly. Well, I also want to unpack one other thing that you were doing, which I think is really important because it's available to anybody. You were doing it in a prison for 20 years, which is when you were fortifying your imagination and it began with the story of Anthony Bourdain. Yes. You allowed yourself to imagine a world where you were traveling to all those places. You weren't just a person watching Anthony Bourdain doing it. You, in your imagination, taught yourself how to live that before you did.

55:41And in imagining it, visualizing yourself there, I believe you were training your mind to believe that it was possible for you. Because your mind doesn't know the difference between what's actually real versus the things that you allow yourself to imagine. And what's so beautiful about the way you just described, I went up to the Four Seasons. I ordered my tea like Anthony Bourdain. I enjoyed it. I smelled it. You're now pulling in your five senses, which then make your brain imprint on all of this experience. Now your brain is like, yes, this is where I belong. I do belong at the Four Seasons having a cup of tea.

56:23I do belong in an apartment that feels like this. And that is an example. And the story is amazing. Like the detail of the arm hanging out the window down and the themes. Oh, no kidding. You weren't. But that is actually how you do it. You invoke your senses and you don't just watch what people are doing. You step into the scene and you've become a master at that because you did do what you said you were going to do in that video. You did turn the thousand dollars in cash into millions. I turned it up. Yes. So what happened after doing all that and preparing for it? Like how else did you prepare yourself?

57:03See, I used to always, like when I walked the streets of Philadelphia, right? Because I was doing these videos, right? When I first got out, I used to do these marketing videos because I felt as though I was a marketer, right? I felt as though I was an ad agency by myself. So I would go to people's business. I'd be like, damn, I go to Mel's steak shop. I'd be like, Mel, how you doing? She'd be like, hey, what's going on? I'd be like, my name Waller. I want to do a commercial for you. You're like, what? What type of commercial you want to do? Well, Mel, you got a steak shop. You know what I mean?

57:31I want to just let people know about your steak shop. She'd be like, what you mean? I'd be like, Mel, do you understand that there's so many there's so many people living their everyday life that people 15 blocks away might don't even know you're here. What I need you to do, I need you to make a real nice steak, Mel. When you make this steak, I want it to be dripping the onions, I want it to look great. And I want you to stand right by me. And just the only thing I'm going to give you, we're going to do this minute video, but I'm going to give you to say something at the end, but I got you. And this is how it will go.

58:00What's up, everybody? I'm Wild O267. I'm right here at Mel Steaks. Let me tell you something. If you want to get a steak, I'm talking about Mel's is the place to eat the steak. I'm talking about this is a different type of steak. This steak right here, I had your tongue breakdance. I'm talking about your tongue to be doing moves you didn't even know your tongue could do. This is the best steak in the city. I'm telling you, we got the peppers. We got the onions. You might don't like peppers and onions, so it won't be on there. Well, you want American cheese? You want whiz cheese? What type of cheese you want?

58:21I'm telling you, these steaks is a different type of steaks. You're going to tell somebody about these steaks. You're going to run home about these steaks. You might even go running the maritime after you eat this steak. This is the type of steak. Hey, Mel, tell them what type of steaks you got. Tell them what you got going on. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So then I leave. Next week, you'll call me and be like, Walo, thank you so much. You can eat here at any time. Because I'm coming to do it free. See, I had to get my proof of concept. So I do a bunch of places free to get my proof of concept.

58:47And then what you do is somebody will call you, hit you on social media, and they'll be like, you might know, I got a friend. He got a laundry mat, Walo. He want to pay you. Right? So I'm like, oh man. So because the first time, the first time that I really got I paid for a commercial. It was when my cousin Gil called me. Gil called me. He's like, yo, man, somebody want to pay you$300. I said, man, I do them drawings for free. He said, you did enough for free, man. What you talking about? Gil, like, you did enough for free. They got$300. I'm like, damn, oh, yeah, you right. So I went and got it.

59:15And then I started charging it, but whatever. But it was like, I knew that people need to advertise. And I knew that everybody don't see everything. So I became that dude. And I just filled my page up with examples. Like, people don't understand. Whatever you're doing, go get examples. that I'm talking about some of the most some of the most valuable stuff you could do is free when I did my first TED Talk it was this girl named Nicole Purvey that I knew from Philadelphia she called me and at this time I'm charged with what's her name so they called me by the TED Talk TEDx and Atlanta I'm like TEDx I don't even know who TED is I'm like who the fuck is TED I don't know nobody named Theodore or TED I don't know him I know Theodore Roosevelt but I don't know no TEDx or TED Talk I don't know none of that shit so I'm like alright bet I said alright I said what y 'all want I said how much they charge?

59:59I mean, how much they paying me? What's their budget? I started asking them because I'm getting more professional now. I got my one sheet. I got everything, right? Pay me$50 ,000 here, pay for my flight. I'm getting all this stuff, right? So what happened is she was like, no, Walo, they ain't paying you none. But what he can do is he gets you a hotel. So I'm like, I'm like, Nicole, you sure I should do it? She's like, Walo, I'm telling you, this is big. A lot of people. I don't know nothing about Ted, right? I'm like, she's like, so I go down there. And this was for free. And the TED Talk that I did, I got two TED Talks.

1:00:31I got three. I made out of three. I got TEDx's. I got I Forgive My Brother's Killer. That was my first TED Talk. I spoke about me forgiving my brother's killer. And then the second one was Fuck It, Bud. And I forget it. But when I went down there and I did that, that was one of the most powerful things that I did. I Forgive My Brother's Killer. Because to this day, it wasn't about the money I made. the impact was more powerful than the money I made from people booking me and all that because I had people in airports, restaurants, they get up and say, man, I really needed to see that video. Talk to me about forgiveness.

1:01:08How did you forgive the person who killed your brother? Because it was an unbelievable pain that somebody shot my brother. He ran down the street. My grandma and nanny opened the door. He fell in nanny arms. She was like, what happened? He died and nanny arms in the childhood house we grew up in, in the doorway. It was so painful when it happened because I'm in a cell and I'm watching it on the news. I'm watching like somebody was shot. Because I'm outside of Philly at the prison. I'm like, that looked like nanny house. And I'm like, damn. A couple of days later, my mom bring his kids up. My niece and my nephew.

1:01:51yourself and when i seen them and i seen the energy that they had as kids and just like so excited to see me and just so like i'm like damn so much going through my mind i'm like and when i say forgive i mean be willing to live for somebody in the right way and utilize this as motivation to get up, to make sure that these babies is all right, to make sure my mommy, because he was the oldest. It was him than me, second. So I'm like, I got a big responsibility now. So I think the greatest thing that I was able to do based off of my environment, because I come from an environment where revenge is God, get back is God.

1:02:36But I said to myself, you're not going to be my God. My God is a different God. And my God forgive. One thing that I realized is that everybody want forgiveness, but who is willing, willing to forgive? Yeah. And it wasn't about no ego or none of that. Cause I got to always think of a logic as I got older and I'm like, what is the logical, what I'm gonna do? Go out there and try to do something to somebody and somebody do something to me or, and they lose me or they lose them and I'm back. Like, so it was the, uh, the whole thing was just to sit back and I had time. I still had years ago in prison where I was like, I got to figure out a way to turn the cycle of violence around in my community and show by example of what forgiveness look like and what living for somebody look like.

1:03:25Because if the cycle, the cycle of crime, the cycle of murder is too normalized where I come from, but it's normalized based off of ego. where I come from a lot of people die based off of ego based off of words based off of emotions and I said I didn't want that to be me and I wanted to be example not for it wasn't a natural thought of I want to be example for other people but I was just like I got to be example to my family and I got to be example to these kids and they got a man that they could count on because my brother wasn't able to fulfill that because his life was taken so it was like that there had me more like Okay.

1:04:06And I had to share that. And what's so funny, he said, you only got like 18 minutes. I'm like, all right, cool. Because nobody else is going to share that. I didn't want to, once I seen what the TEDx says, I said, oh man, I got this. How do you forgive though? How did you actually get to the point where you no longer carry that anger with you? Like that you're freed from it? Like what does forgiveness even mean to you? Forgiveness to me personally, my condolence to anybody out there that lost somebody. Anybody out there, if you lost somebody through violence, my condolence to you. And I know the feeling, so I know what you go through.

1:04:50For me personally, forgiveness helped me breathe because I wanted to celebrate my brother. I celebrate my brother by living for him, being happy, and knowing who he was and having the memory of him and not holding on to this dark part of this pain and this anger of the person that did something to my brother. When I got there, my back was straight. I didn't have to—I was able to breathe. It was like, damn. It was like, I'm not carrying that around with me. It takes a lot of energy to carry anger around for somebody to where as though the anger can supersede the love and the memories that you have for your loved ones.

1:05:32Because it's so much to carry. You carry and it could be unbearable. So now you're in a way, and I'm not saying that anybody have to choose this route. but in a way you're neglecting the memories preserving the memories and and and just the life of your family member that was lost so it was like it's it's just like it's real it's just like it just it just is a lot but i was willing to get to that part of my life and that was one of the most therapeutic things i ever did did you ever tell the person that killed your brother that you forgive him? No, he, out there, you know, it never was like to, it wasn't about him.

1:06:16It was about my family and me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. It ain't, it wasn't even about that. But, uh, if I seen him, I'd say that. It wouldn't, it wouldn't even be nothing. Do you want to sell him? Look, uh,

1:06:35I don't, I don't know you. We never met. but Stephen Keith Peoples that's my brother and I don't know I'm not here to judge you I don't know the circumstances I don't know what took place I don't know what transpired at night on Lippincott Street

1:07:02I don't really know and I'm not even here to judge you I'm not here to try to I don't know what happened I don't know why it happened. I wish it didn't happen. But I know a decision was made by you.

1:07:18And you took away somebody.

1:07:24Like you took away somebody that was a good dude, as we know.

1:07:33you took away a brother, a father, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a friend, a neighbor. You took away somebody that I find myself talking to or planning to talk to in my days before I remember that he ain't here no more. Right? Uh, uh, Maymay, Tyreen, they can't talk to their dad. My mom can't talk to us. Nanny can't talk to the son, the grandson. So it's like, I wish it didn't happen, but it happened. But let me tell you something. I don't know what you could learn or how, but I heard you learn from this experience and I hope you never do it again. Um, I'm not God. I can't judge you. And, um, I just wish it didn't happen, but it happened.

1:08:32But know that I don't feel no type of way to like want to do nothing harm to you or want something done to you. That's not my job. I'm not the decision maker. God is. I don't make no decisions, but I just want to let you know, if you're looking at this, if you didn't see, but I'm pretty sure you've seen it because I talk about it so much. I forgive you, man. And I don't forgive you just to say it, I forgive you in a way whereas though that was the greatest thing that I did personally for me and for my family because you took Steve away from me, from us, but you motivated the mother the fuck out of me to be something that I never even knew that I can be.

1:09:20So there's a gift and a curse in this whole situation, but I would rather have Steve here right now with me and be doing whatever I'm doing. But I just want to say that I forgive you and I hope wherever you're at in life, you ain't do this again and you learn from it. What's so beautiful about your brother sounds like an amazing guy. Man, he was fucking crazy, man. Steve. The best people are. Steve didn't give a fuck, and that's where I got it from. He was this little short guy, but he had the biggest heart, and he was just like, this dude was funny. He was crazy. He was just like, the things he would say in the house, the things he would say to people, like he really didn't give a fuck.

1:10:13And I'm talking about in a way where he just lived. Well, here's what I got from what I just experienced with you. That when you forgive, you actually create the space for your brother to live on in you. And so his life gets bigger. And when you hold on to something horrible like that, and you allow the hate and the darkness to take hold, you not only shrink the life of the person that you lost, but you also shrink your own life. And you could feel it. you could feel both the pain that you feel and the love that you have, but you could also feel the freedom. So thank you. Thank you. If the person who's been with us takes one thing from your remarkable life and all of the wisdom and truth that you've shared today, and they take one action, what do you think the most important thing for them to do is?

1:11:20Let me see that book. Yes to you and no to them. You see where you at? This you. This you up here. You see where they at? The discipline of saying no and the freedom that follows. Yes to you. We live in this world where as though everybody is looking for somebody to come and save them. Everybody's looking for a reason to be upset with somebody when they don't get their way. It's not perfect. But for so long, you continuously choose others and you say yes to others, but you say no to you. When did you want to start saying yes to you and no to them? It's not about them no more. It's about you. You got to start choosing you and letting them go in order to grow, in order to glow, in order to go.

1:12:08that's what this is about it's not about when you think about life it's not even about like trying to appease nobody no more how old is we man like what the like we living in the world where as though even a person at 18 and 19 they know better like we got too much information like you know better you got listen yes to you no to them that's it the people that be in your life you ever notice how your mom say no but you can deal with it the people that really love you can deal with it the people that really love you You can deal with it. Your mom and dad been telling you no. And you can deal. The people that really love you, the people that really deal with you, the people that really value you, they cool with it.

1:12:45They ain't got no problem with it. They don't have no problem with it. The people that really love you is going to stay. And the people that don't is going to go. You don't want them in your life anyway. You already know why they was there. So what are we talking about? Like, what is we really talking about? You got to think about that. What is we talking about? And another thing, fuck them. Fuck him Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck him Capital F What we talking about? You know That's all she said Let me tell you something Everybody out there Come here, you Everybody home that's watching this Mel Melly Mel Universe Everybody out there I'm gonna tell you a secret Mel really said Fuck him Fuck them That's what Mel said And you also said Fuck me Because I'm the one in my own way Fuck me Yeah, Mel Fuck you, Mel.

1:13:38You in your own way, Mel. That's right. You got to say it a little louder. Fuck me, Mel. Can you say it louder? Fuck me, Mel. A little louder. Fuck me, Mel. Mel, Mel. I'm in my own fucking way all the time. Mel is in her own fucking way. Wallow 267. God damn it. I'm always in my fucking way. She always, listen, Mel, y 'all looking at Mel. She got all this shit going on. She's walking on stage. Crowd, she's like. Whole time. She backstage overthinking. It's my hair. Shut up, Mel. She's not worrying about your hair. Fuckers, you're talking with your glasses. It's perfect. She back there. Oh, my God.

1:14:09Is this right? Mel, let it go. Let the shit go. Fuck them. What we doing, Mel? You worry about the wrong shit, Mel. You're creating problems for yourself, Mel. And that's the whole thing. Like, you got to say yes to you, no to them, man. Fuck them, man. Stop worrying. Listen, stop worrying about them and worrying about you. Start loving you. Matter of fact, before you love you, you got to start liking you. Then you got to start loving you. Then you got to know, listen, I ain't got it all figured out, but I'm going to figure it out one day. And that's enough. And if we keep following and listening to you, we're going to figure it out fast.

1:14:45Listen, man. Listen. Two, six, seven. Listen. Definitely listen, but I'm going to say something to people. Yeah. And this is from my chest. I don't know where you are right now. But if you're living in America, I just want to say something very important to you. Very important. Don't let nobody turn you into somebody that you're not. Don't let no ignorance. Don't let no hatred. Don't let nobody idea that you're less than, that you're not worthy, that you're not special. Start interfering with your thought process and start having you doubt on who you are. You're special. Everybody on this planet was made different.

1:15:22Everybody is a different person. It's cool to have different outlooks on life. And let me tell you something. It's cool that we ain't got to agree. But one thing, we need each other in order for this world to work and for it to be a better place. No matter your color, no matter your sexual identity, no matter where you come. That's not what's important is when humans connect, great shit happen all the time. We're stronger together. We always got to continue to be an example for the world. The way we be example is be great, come together and do great things. A lot of times some people might not see that, but we got to think above.

1:16:01We got to move above. We got to live above the stuff that divides us. You know, Wallo267, when they say don't ever meet the people that you admire, don't meet your heroes, they weren't talking about you. Because you are extraordinary. I have been so excited to meet you. I am so proud of you and I'm so grateful that you're in the world doing what you're doing. So keep doing it, please. Thank you. I appreciate you for having me, Mel. Let me ask you. So what are your parting words? My parting words is, I thought I'd say a lot of parting words, but the parting words is, new book coming out, Mel Rob, right?

1:16:43We're going to shorten our name. We know the new book, her name is going to be Melly Mel, WALO267. Fuck them. The new book coming out, the tour is coming all around the world. It's going to be crazy. The middle finger is going to be the t-shirt and the hat. You got to choose. You over choose. It's going to be crazy, Mel. You just got to listen. We taking Mel back to our college days when she was Melly Mel. We going to show you the other side of the game. That's the bell. We going to the other side of the game. We wilding out. We not. Come on, man. That's what we doing. Be on the lookout, man. Oh, my God.

1:17:13I love you. I love you, too, Mel. Like, Mel, we only got one shot. We living once. Let's live, Mel. Let's live. Like, come on, man. You didn't listen. Do your thing, man. Have fun. Go to a party, man. Go dance. There's some people party. don't know, go crash a wedding, do something. Fuck it. Like, damn, man, we not going to be here forever. What the fuck is we doing, man? Shit. Wasting time. That's what we're doing, but not no more. Not me. Shit. You're out of here. Oh my God. We're out of here. I cannot wait to see what you do with this conversation and the truth, the truth that you are the one that's in your own way.

1:17:50The truth that you are going to, like, what are we doing? why are you worried about what Susie in accounting says sorry Susie like what why are you worried about what your friends from high school stop let yourself live let yourself be the person that you know that you are there is nothing holding you back except for you and if Wallow can do this from a prison cell you can do this from wherever you are right now and know that Wallow and I are going to be here every step of the way to encourage you to keep moving forward, to keep saying yes to yourself. And I want to say thank you. Thank you for spending time listening to this.

1:18:30Thank you for sharing this with everybody that you know. It is such an important conversation. It's such an important amount of truth for you to accept in your life and to apply to your life. But in case no one else tells you this today, I wanted to be sure to tell you as your friend that I love you and I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And if you don't believe that now after listening to Wallow, I'm going to tell you what, go back and listen again. Alrighty. I'll be waiting for you in the very next episode. I will welcome you in the moment you hit play. I'll see you there.

1:19:05Like somebody that you deep down know you're not. Or if you feel. Oh wait, hold on. If you've got big goals that keep, if you've got big goals, there's more people mentally, there's more people and he's here. And here's the part that is a testament to, okay. And here's the part of his story that is a testament to Wallow's unbreakable mindset. I learned a lot from you today. You better hold on to that. Fuck them though, Mel.

1:19:47Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.