Try It For 1 Week: 4 Small Decisions That Change Your Body, Energy, and Life

24:58Mel Robbins:This micro-choice isn't just one thought. It becomes another, another, another, and creates a filter. A filter through which you see everything and everything feels harder. You drop something, oh, there's proof it's a bad day. You didn't get that thing done, oh, there's proof you're a bad employee. Someone looks at you wrong or doesn't respond to something that you said in a meeting, oh, there's proof, you're bad, you're stupid, why'd you say that? Your kid needs something for school that you forgot to buy, there's proof, bad parent. I'm the one parent who can't get it together. And your brain is now stacking evidence.

25:37Mel Robbins:every tiny small thing, more evidence. See, I knew it. I can't win. I'm never gonna figure this out. Oh my God, that's a lot, isn't it? It becomes a setting in your brain. But here's the good news, because I'm about to bring in some incredible science. If it's a setting in your mind, because after all, mindset is just settings in your mind. If you can set your mind to it's going to be a bad day and you're aware of the power of a micro choice, then doesn't it stand to reason that you could change the settings in your mind with a different micro choice? A good micro choice that snowballs in a positive way, that builds evidence that you're capable, that you're going to make it through the day, that you got good energy, you got good intentions.

26:40Mel Robbins:And so I want to introduce you to somebody extraordinary. Her name is Dr. Aaliyah Crum. She's a professor at Stanford University and she runs the Stanford Mind and Body Lab. This is what they've established in her lab with scientific proof that you can learn how to use the power of your mind to be successful, to be healthier, to have a better attitude, to be in a different mood, to have more optimism and resilience. And when she appeared on our podcast, you know, I asked her, Dr. Crump, do mindsets really matter? And in this clip that you're about to hear, she's going to challenge you. You're going to hear her ask you some questions.

27:20Mel Robbins:Does how you think about your job change how you feel about your job? Does how you think about your health change your health? How can you really use the power of your mind to help you create a better life or to change the way your day feels. So I want you to take a listen to Dr. Crum. This is an excerpt from her appearance here on the Mel Robbins podcast. The work that we do in our lab is looking at mindsets about things related to our health. Oh. So take stress. Do you believe that stress is going to kill you or is it going to make you stronger? What's your belief about healthy food? Do you believe healthy foods are the disgusting and depriving option?

28:00Or do you believe healthy foods are actually indulgent and delicious? What about cancer? Do you believe that cancer is an unmitigated catastrophe? Or might cancer be manageable? Might it even be an opportunity to make positive changes in your lives? So these mindsets, Mel, they're not true or false. They're not right or wrong. They're oversimplified, highly evaluative judgments about the nature of these things. But they matter in shaping our lives. In fact, they create our realities. And they create our realities not through some kind of magic, but by design. So our mindsets change what we pay attention to.

28:47If you believe the world is dangerous, you're going to see more danger in the world. Our mindsets change how we feel and expect to feel emotionally. Our mindsets change what we're motivated to do and how we actually engage and behave in the world. And what our work has shown is that our mindsets also change our bodies. They change how our bodies physiologically prepare and respond to different things.

29:14Mel Robbins:I just find And Dr. Crumb's work to be so fascinating. And I have the transcript right in front of me, and I want to make sure that I repeat this accurately because I want to pull in what she just said to what we're talking about with this second microchoice. Do you believe it's going to be a good day or do you believe it's going to be a bad day? And due to what we're talking about with micro-choice number two. Is it going to be a good day or is it going to be a bad day? And does your mindset and belief about what kind of day it's going to be, does it actually matter? And what Dr. Crum's work proves, she just said it to us, is that our mindsets change how we feel and expect to feel emotionally.

30:04Mel Robbins:Our mindsets change what we are motivated to do and how we actually engage and behave in the world. And this is where it gets really interesting. The micro choice of having a good day versus the micro choice of saying it's going to be a bad day changes how your body physiologically prepares and responds to the rest of the day by design. So what does that mean? It means these aren't just words. These are settings. settings that make a huge difference. And when you even just subconsciously start to brace and go, today's gonna be a bad day, simply by making that micro choice, Dr. Crum's research has proven that it can change how your body physically prepares for the day itself.

30:57Mel Robbins:And what's really cool about bringing Dr. Crum into this is that she's established this with research, pioneering research in her lab. but I'm also going to appeal to you as your friend and say, I think you know this is true based on common sense. And so now that I see it and I'm aware of it, let me make a different choice. And here's the choice I want you to make. Today is going to be a good day because I'm going to make something good happen. Yep. There's a lot of stressful things going on. Yep. My boss is kind of a dick and was in a bad mood. Yep. I got a big job. Yep. There's always something out of my control, but today is going to be a good day.

31:34Mel Robbins:How do I know? Because I'm going to bring a good attitude. I'm going to have good energy. I'm going to have good boundaries, so I'm not going to let the stupid stuff drain me. Today is going to be a good day because I'm going to make something good happen. Do you see how different that feels? And let me be clear. When you intentionally choose in this micro moment, you choose good. That doesn't mean you're delusional. It doesn't mean you're pretending that life isn't hard or the news isn't terrifying or that your inbox isn't a dumpster fire. Choosing good is like reaching for a tool in your toolbox.

32:14Mel Robbins:You understand the power of your mindset on your body, on your stress, on your ability to respond. It means you're deciding on purpose how to set the settings in your mind so that you feel a little better regardless of the dumpster fire that's in front of you. Choosing to have a good day for no reason or in spite of what's happening or to make something good happen or to just have good energy or to look for the good, that is a powerful thing to do. today's going to be a good day because I'm going to look for something good. I'm going to bring the good. I'm going to have a good attitude. I'm going to be doing a good job.

32:59Mel Robbins:I'm going to be good to other people. I'm going to be in a good mood because it helps everybody else. I mean, right now it's like you're choosing bad and you don't even realize it. You do it by default. It's like you can be in a bad mood for no reason. That means you can be in a good mood for no reason. It could be five o 'clock in the afternoon. It could say, you know, the first part of the day sucked, but the rest of the day is going to be a good day because I'm going to make it a good day. I'm going to focus on having a good attitude. I'm going to do something good. I'm going to be a good friend.

33:28Mel Robbins:I'm going to find the good. I'm going to make myself be in a good mood. I'm going to do something for a half an hour tonight that always makes me feel good. You can pull this lever. You can make this micro choice at any time. And one last note on choice number two, is it going to be a good day or a bad day? And why it matters so much is that it's true. There's a lot going on. There's a lot of bad things in the headlines. There's a lot of stressful things going on at work right now. And there's very valid reasons to be stressed or worried. But the settings in your mind matter because they're not going to change the problems that you see in the world.

34:11Mel Robbins:They're not going to change the problems that you may be facing in your life. The settings in your mind change you. They help you face the problems. They help you get through the day. They help you by reminding you that there are things in your control, your time, your energy, your mood, what you focus on. And when you choose to focus on the good, when you choose to focus on your energy, on doing something good, on bringing a good mood, to work, that changes how you are able to face the things that are going on in your life. I love this conversation so much. I want to just keep on talking, but I need to hit the pause button because I want to shine a light on our extraordinary sponsors.

35:01Mel Robbins:And while you take a listen to our sponsors, take a minute, make the choice to share this with people that you care about. I've shared this with our team. Everybody is experiencing so much positive change. it's extraordinary and I want the people that you care about to feel it too stay with me

35:22for delicious meals you could go out to eat or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal Marie Callender's classic chicken parmigiana bowl is so good it has marinara sauce that's made from scratch and creamy mozzarella cheese over pasta it's delicious with no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives and 30 grams of protein You can find it in the Frozen Isle. Marie Callender's what having it all tastes like. The greatest to ever play the game. Return to finish what they started. Welcome to Survivor 50. I wanted one more shot to play the game that I fell in love with 25 years ago. I want to win against the best of the best.

36:01I chickened out at the final tribal. Season 50, it's an honor. Light your torch. I've got some unfinished business. Be part of history. I have more to play for this time. Bigger than ever. Survivor 50, new CBS Wednesday at 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.

36:42Do that with Acrobat. Learn more at adobe.com slash do that with Acrobat.

36:52Mel Robbins:Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. Today, you and I are talking about four very small micro choices that are there every single day. You're probably missing them. These are micro choices that have major impact. And when you start to make a different choice, you're learning how it can have a huge positive difference in your life. So let's just jump right back in. Now let's talk about the third micro choice that is quietly in the background running your life. What is micro choice number three? You decide fuel or fumes. See this micro choice is so easy to make without even thinking about it.

37:35Mel Robbins:And here it is. Are you going to run your day in fumes or are you going to run your day with fuel? In other words, are you going to run on empty or are you going to run on full? Because either way, you got a tank of gas and you're going to be running. You have got a lot of big and important things to do. I know you, of course you do. You're running around all over the place. So the question is, are you doing it with your tank on empty or are you fueling yourself for everything you need to get done? And I want you to be honest as your friend because this is where a lot of people are lying to themselves.

38:12Mel Robbins:I used to be one of them. You know, I grew up in the generation where they always used to say when I was little, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But then I go to college and I got a different message. You got to be skinny. So it's time to start starving yourself and skipping meals and exercising on an empty stomach and hydrating with caffeine. And then I wonder why I have anxiety and I'm constantly bitchy and stressed out. And I can hear you saying, Mel, you know, I know I need to have better fuel, but I don't have time. It's so busy in the morning, I don't have time. Okay, well, then you're going to love this because I'm not going to ask you to become a new person.

38:50Mel Robbins:I'm not going to ask you to overhaul your diet, track macros, buy a blender, join some wellness cult. That's not what we're doing here. The choice is very simple. Are you feeding yourself or are you starving yourself? I get it. You're late. You grabbed your phone. You did this. You didn't do that. You didn't have to. But then you wonder why you're irritable. You wonder why you can't focus. Why everything feels hard. Why you're snapping at people you like. Why you feel anxious. Why the littlest things at work just piss you off. This choice. Am I running on fumes or am I running on fuel affects your entire day.

39:25Mel Robbins:And it starts when you wake up. So as I was getting ready to have this conversation with you, I was doing a bunch of research and my friend, Dr. Nicole LaPera, who goes by the Holistic Psychologist Online. She's extraordinary. She's brilliant. She's a New York Times bestselling author. Tens of millions of people follow her because she breaks down all kinds of psychology and research and teaches you how you can apply it to heal and improve aspects of your life. And it was a post about the importance of eating protein first thing in the morning. She basically explained that in the first 30 minutes of the day, when you wake up, your cortisol levels are the highest.

40:05Mel Robbins:Now, cortisol is that, they call it the stress hormone, but it's highest in the morning because arguably it's supposed to help you get going, right? Like, Let's get going. So for the first 30 minutes of the day, when your cortisol levels are the highest, you may be grumpy and irritable and upset, and you don't even know why. And then she says that eating protein first thing in the morning is a very important thing to do to help you regulate your emotion. And in the caption, she went on to describe that it's important because regulating your blood sugar directly helps you regulate your emotions.

40:48Mel Robbins:And this has been a huge shift in my life. I mean, if you've been listening to the podcast recently, you know that health is my number one goal. And in particular, I've listened to all the medical and nutritional and scientific experts that have come on this podcast in every single possible discipline who have all been talking to us about the critical nature of protein. Protein for focus, protein for muscles, protein for energy, protein for life. I was never a big breakfast person. And I have started to force myself to change my own habits and follow this expert advice and really take fueling myself first thing in the morning seriously.

41:28Mel Robbins:Are you going to make time to fuel yourself? Or are you going to fly out the door? and just dig around in your backpack and eat that half-eaten granola bar, you know, dust all the sandy stuff in the bottom of your backpack off it and choke it down? Or are you going to try to cover up that giant hole where your food should be, namely your stomach with a big cup of coffee and 15 sugar packets in it? And if you think I'm exaggerating, I really want to share some wisdom from somebody that I absolutely love. His name is Professor Carl Pillemer. He is a professor at Cornell. He is behind one of my favorite bodies of research.

42:10Mel Robbins:We've talked about it on this podcast. It's called The Legacy Project. Now, Dr. Pillemer has spent years compiling the best life advice and wisdom from people in their 80s, 90s, and 100s. And I have been citing his research for a long time in my work, so I was so thrilled when he agreed to come on the podcast. Now, he's also in clinical practice as a psychologist, but I just love that he has this research study for 22 years interviewing people near the end of their lives so that you and I can learn the wisdom about how you live a good life from people whose lives are almost over. He refers to the people in his study as the elders.

42:51Mel Robbins:And what you're about to hear is one of my favorite pieces of advice that come from the Legacy Project. Specifically, what do you do if you're feeling irritable, cranky, not like yourself, and now you're taking it out on the people that you care about? Guilty. I mean, admit it. You literally give the best people the worst of you. You blame work stress and the fact that you're tired and hungry for why you just scream cried at somebody in your kitchen that you're related to. What I love about Dr. Pillimer, and I really want you to just sit with this, is this wisdom and insight that relates to this micro-choice.

43:36Mel Robbins:Are you running on fumes? Or are you running on fuel? That comes from two decades of research. Here's what Dr. Pillimer had to say on the Mel Robbins podcast. If you're having a lot of serious arguments, you find there's a pattern to arguments. Rather than therapy, the cure might be a sandwich. Because my wife and I, though, would be traveling and we'd forget to eat. And our argument, like who chose the bad hotel or why we got there after the museum closed, would be unbelievably intense until we realized that we were hungry. And there's good research on this, Mel. showing that you should not argue when you're hungry.

44:15And so one of the things the elders said, like one of their little lessons is if you're having an intractable argument, get something to eat and see what happens.

44:24Mel Robbins:I love that advice. And here's what I'm realizing. My mouth is kind of open because I'm now processing what you're saying. My husband and my kids do that with me because I will get so lost in what I'm doing. And then And next thing you know, I'm bickering about something just so stupid and I'm the jerk, right? And somebody in my family will go, when's the last time you ate? And sure enough, five or six hours ago. Try it out, a cup of tea and a biscuit if you're having a terrible argument. So that was one of their key points. And that's why this third micro-choice is so powerful. And you can make it at any single point in the day.

45:04Mel Robbins:I'm hoping that you're gaining the self-awareness that you recognize the power of what do you reach for? Today's gonna be a good day. And am I gonna run on fuel? Those three choices together, holy cow, they set you up differently, don't they? Because when you're running on fumes, have you ever noticed that what can feel like in a massive emotional problem, it's so overwhelming? It's overwhelming because you are in a human body and brain running on empty, on fumes. That's why you feel like you can't handle this. And it's also why if you just take an exhale and you get a great bowl of chicken soup, no, it doesn't erase the problem.

45:45But with some fuel, you often have a different perspective.

45:50Mel Robbins:With some fuel, you have renewed energy. How many times have you had a day where you catch yourself and you think, oh my God, Why am I being such a monster? Why is everything pissing me off at work today? Why am I not myself today? And then you realize you haven't eaten anything in six hours. You're stuck dealing with a depleted body and mind. And so what is the takeaway? Stop pretending you're fine running on fumes. This isn't making you skinny. It's making you anxious and irritable. one fuel choice early in the day, especially in the morning, especially protein. If you're somebody who does intermittent fasting, great.

46:32Mel Robbins:Maybe that works for you. But the question is still the same. When you do break the fast, what are you fueling yourself with? Are you choosing something that stabilizes you and empowers you and energizes you? Or are you choosing something that gives you a quick spike, tons of carbs, tons of sugar, all kinds of junk, and then crash, leaves you still feeling empty. If you feel like you're running on fumes, I want you to take advice from Dr. Pillimer and all the wisdom from 20 years of studying people in their 80s, 90s, and 100s. Just get something to eat and then see what happens. That's the micro choice that has a major impact and it's a lever you can pull at any time.

47:15Mel Robbins:Don't you love this? I love this topic so much. I had so much fun digging into this and really thinking about it and it's been crazy empowering. And that brings me to the fourth micro choice that has a surprisingly huge impact and makes a huge difference every single day. And that choice is scroll or sleep. because at the end of the day, there's this one tiny moment. We all have it. You have it every night. So do I. That decides how tomorrow is going to feel. And it happens right when you finally have a second to yourself. Oh my God. The whole day has been for everybody else. Oh my God. Work, school.

48:00Mel Robbins:Oh my God. Taking care of everybody. You're done with the dinner cleanup. The kids are in bed. The dogs have been fed. You've done the dishes. You're done. You're done doing things for other people. And then you look at the clock and you think, okay, I really should go to bed. But you don't because there is a choice sitting right there in front of you at the end of every day. Oh my God, the micro choice is right there. Are you going to scroll or are you going to sleep? And you know what I used to say? Here's what would happen when this moment would hit because you have this moment every night.

48:35Mel Robbins:So do I. Everybody does. We're going to have this moment for the rest of our lives. Okay? You know what I used to say before I figured out these four micro choices? Here's what I used to say. I used to say, you know, I should go to bed. I should just go to bed. I should not even pick up the phone. I should just go to bed. And I want you to notice something because that's what you say to yourself too, right? You're sitting on the couch, you're done watching TV, you go to turn TV off, and you're like, God, I really should go to bed. And you're reaching for your phone, or you already have your phone in your hand.

49:10Mel Robbins:But notice when you say, I should go to bed. That's not making a choice. When you say, I should go to bed, you're making yourself wrong. When you stop in that moment, every single night, you have this moment. And instead, you give yourself a choice. Mel, do you want to choose to scroll or do you want to go to sleep? You're not making yourself wrong. You are empowering yourself to make a choice. There's a huge difference between, oh, I should go to bed, I should put the phone down, versus, well, I can either scroll or I can go to sleep. What do I choose? My husband has this one all figured out.

50:00Mel Robbins:Like every single night like clockwork, it gets to be 8, 45, nine o 'clock tops. And he's either already asleep and has missed half of the episode that we've been watching together on the couch, or he's like, okay, he's pushing, you know, he's getting up. I'm okay. It's time to go to bed. Then there's me. That's the moment. That's the moment right there. That's the micro moment. and you know what I do? I literally, without clockwork, before I figured this micro choice out, I would just reach for the phone and then I'd tell myself, I'd say to Chris, you know, I just got to check one more thing.

50:39Mel Robbins:And then that thing takes 45 minutes. And then after I've been on the phone for 45 minutes, guess what? I'm not even tired anymore. So now I'm up for another hour or two, like an idiot. I was tired at nine o 'clock when he was going to bed, but now that I've been scrolling on the stupid phone for 45 minutes. Now I'm up. So now I'm like, I got another hour of me. And there's, I'm going to be honest with you because I've really tried to like take apart this moment at night, this micro choice. Do I scroll? Do I go to bed? And I'm wondering if you feel this way too. There's this feeling as Chris is going off to bed and I pick up my phone, I almost feel a little rebellious.

51:23Mel Robbins:I feel a little naughty. You know what I mean? It's the same feeling that I had in college when I would smoke a cigarette. You know, you light up a cigarette. It's kind of like a giant F you to the world. You're like, I'm a badass. I'm in charge of my decisions. And when you pick up your phone at night, there is this rebel thing that you feel like, I'm in control of my time. So I'm going to use it to scroll past all this stuff I don't need to know right now and make myself feel insecure and stressed out and freaked out about the state of the world, but damn it, I'm choosing to do this because all day long I had to react to you dumbasses at work.

51:54Mel Robbins:And so now I'm going to sit here like the badass that I am and brain rot while I scroll on my phone late into the night. You know, it's almost like that moment right there. It's like it's the first time all day that your life is yours and you're stealing the time back from everybody else and you stay up, researchers have labeled this revenge bedtime procrastination. You're getting revenge on everybody all day long who stole your time. And then you delay sleep to like psychologically reclaim some freedom after a day that didn't feel like it was your day. but here's the problem with this micro choice.

52:40Mel Robbins:I get it because I've spent a long time doing this. What starts out as a little bit of time gets out of control and then it becomes part of your bedtime routine and then you need it as the precursor to going to bed. It's not relaxing. As you're sitting there going just five more minutes, your nervous system is like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, we're not landing the plane. We're taking off again. Why are we going back up in the air. I thought we were coming in for a landing and we were about to go to bed. What the hell is going on? And then you're in it. Then you're in it. Just like in the morning, just like in the morning, the first thing you reach for, next thing you know, it's 30 minutes and it's all the same stuff that pulls you in and brings you down that rabbit hole, the headline that punches you in the chest, the video that you can't unsee, the comment section that makes you lose face in humanity, a random argument that you didn't even join, but now you're pissed off about what these total idiot strangers, a third of which are bots, are arguing about at 11 o 'clock at night.

53:35Mel Robbins:When you do that at night, you're telling your brain, hey, hey, stay alert, keep scanning, don't power down, we can't sleep now. That's why you're exhausted. That's why you're having trouble falling asleep. Here's why this matters so much. It's not just that you lose an hour of sleep. It's that you're waking up tomorrow feeling behind. Let me tell you about this study that was led by PhD researcher Dr. Anne-Marie Chang while she was at Brigham and Women's Hospital, which is in Boston, right where the Mel Robbins podcast is recorded, and Harvard Medical School, and it was published in PNAS. their research found that reading on a light-emitting device right before bed, i.e.

54:20Mel Robbins:your phone, delays your internal body clock and it suppresses melatonin. That's the hormone that helps your brain shift into sleep. So the translation for a normal person like you and me is put the phone down, sleep, not scroll. Your phone isn't, quote, helping you relax. Your phone is telling your brain, time for takeoff. We're not landing right now. Now, there's one more reason why this micro choice is so important that you start choosing to sleep instead of choosing to scroll. Now, I've been talking about choosing to scroll while you're still on the couch because that's where I was falling into the trap.

55:06Mel Robbins:I've broken my habits around reaching for the phone in the bed and having my phone in the bed. And I was not even aware of the research that I'm about to share with you from a psychologist, Richard Bootson at Northwestern University. But this is research specifically about what happens when this micro choice, am I gonna go to sleep or am I gonna scroll, is not happening on the couch. But you're actually doing this in bed, which is probably more likely where you're doing it. and I get it. I get it. Well, I just, you know, it just relaxes me. So I climb into bed and I just, you know, watch terrifying headlines and a bunch of reels.

55:39Mel Robbins:And I look at things that I don't need to buy. And I stare at people's lives that I wish I was leaving. And I look at celebrities and I read all the snarky comments. It's just very relaxing. So that's what I do. I need to do that. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Wait till you hear this research. Your bed needs to be phone free because your bed is supposed to train your brain to sleep. You have to stop turning your bed into a place where your brain is trained to be awake and wired. I mean, this makes sense, right? If you really kind of zoom out, the idea is simple. Everything about your bed in your bedroom should be like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

56:24Mel Robbins:Let's land the plane. It's time for sleep. Not cuing, okay, pick up the phone and stroll or stress or news or work or shopping or family drama. Your brain is an association machine. It's looking for patterns. So if you turn your bed into an office or a newsroom or a mall, your brain is going to stop connecting bed with sleep. And if you're the kind of person that's developed a habit of needing your phone and needing scrolling to fall asleep, then it probably doesn't surprise you that if you get up in the middle of the night because you have to go to the bathroom and you come back to bed, what are you reaching for?

57:04The phone.

57:05Mel Robbins:Because you have trained yourself to believe that you need scrolling in order to fall asleep. the micro choice is do I choose to scroll or do I choose to sleep? And it's the same thing I've been explaining this entire conversation. One tiny choice that has huge, huge consequences to it, positive or negative. And here's what you can do. This is what I call before you tuck yourself in, you need to tuck your phone in. and the American Academy of Sleep wants you to tuck your phone in 30 minutes before you're gonna go to sleep. That's, I think, something you can do. And so that means this micro choice needs to happen 30 minutes before you wanna climb into bed.

58:01Mel Robbins:Choose to go to sleep instead of scrolling. What are you gonna do in those 30 minutes? You can do anything. While your phone is charging by yourself, wash your face, lay out your clothes for the morning. Take a shower. Oh, you know what I do? I take a bath. I take a hot bath. I pour in the Epsom salts. I sit there. Read a book. Listen to an audio book that relaxes you. Stretch for two minutes. Make your bed and your routine feel like something cool. It starts associating with sleep. You could light a candle. You could fluff the pillows. You could turn the lights down a little little bit. You could start creating a bedtime ritual that you absolutely love because when you start to make a choice, you start respecting yourself.

58:44Mel Robbins:And when you choose to sleep, you don't just wake up with more energy, you wake up with more capacity to get through the day. And that's the entire point of the conversation today. You can't control everything that's happening out there, but you can make these four micro decisions that help you take control. You can stop handing your time and your energy and your peace away in these tiny moments. And one of those moments is your bedtime. And if you don't trust yourself, set an alarm. Set an alarm for 30 minutes before you need to go to bed. And when it goes off, it means I'm done talking to the world.

59:29Mel Robbins:I'm done allowing things into my brain. No more headlines, no more emails, no more video games. And if you want this to be really easy, do the simplest, most effective thing. Put your phone, when you tuck it in, somewhere far away from your bed. Mine is always in my bathroom or in my closet. That's where I have two chargers. That means when the alarm goes off, I have to get up out of bed and go turn it off. And by the time I get to my bed, I'm awake enough that I'm not reaching for it. I just turn off the alarm. I'm done. I don't even pick it up. I don't take it with me. And here's one more tip.

1:00:01Mel Robbins:You know what you could do? Is after you tuck in your phone and you got your 30-minute ritual and you're climbing into bed, put out whatever it is that you're going to reach for first thing in the morning. Is it your tennis shoes? Is it your gym bag? Is it the leash? Is it your ski poles? Is it your meditation, set yourself up to make the right choice first thing tomorrow morning. And that's how this not just becomes four little choices that you can make every day. It becomes little levers, tipping points in your day where you can take back control. That's it. That's how you take your power back.

1:00:39Mel Robbins:All of it. Four simple micro choices every day that create major positive change. And yeah, they seem simple, but isn't that why you love them? You can remember them. Now that you see them, don't you see it as so obvious? It's like, oh my gosh, they were there all the time, Mel. Thank you for pointing that out. That is so cool. I just love this. I can't wait to hear what happens in your life when you choose to reach for something every morning that feels good, that sets you up, that calms you down. I can't wait to hear what happens in your life when you choose to tell yourself every single day, today's gonna be a good day.

1:01:29Mel Robbins:I'm gonna make something happen that's good. I'm gonna have good energy. Because the more you wake up and make that choice, the more it becomes the truth. The more it's the filter that your brain uses all day, the more the settings in your mind change. And the same thing with the choice of, am I running on fumes or am I putting fuel in my body? Like that decision alone is going to change how your day goes. And of course, this moment at night, oh my God, you and I have this moment for the rest of our life. You will not live a day for the rest of your life where at night you are faced with that choice.

1:02:08Mel Robbins:Do I scroll? Do I sleep? And now that you know that it's a choice, I really hope as your friend, you make the choice that empowers you the most. And the best thing of all about all these four choices is you don't have to do all four. And you don't even have to do them today because they are there every single day. And even if you miss one, you can then pick up with the next one. And if you miss two, you can pick up with the third. And if you blew the entire day, you can pick up with the fourth. Okay, I'm just going to sleep and call this day a wash. And then I'm going to wake up tomorrow and reach for the right thing.

1:02:44Mel Robbins:Remember, micro choices, massive impact. And in case no one else tells you today, I also wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you and I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And there's no doubt in my mind that when you start to take these four micro choices seriously, you will experience a massive positive change in your day-to-day life. Alrighty, I'll see you in the very next episode. I'll be waiting to welcome you in the moment you hit play.

1:03:21Mel Robbins:Jessie, would you hand me my coffee? I think it's over on my desk. Take one more gulp before we get going here. That one tiny choice. I think we missed the good thing. Hold on a second. The reason she did it was good. Okay. Let me, let me start one more time. Okay. Y 'all set, hon? Yeah. All right, good. Micro choice number two. Are you going to have a good day or are you going to have a bad day? It's that simple. Let me take a sip of my water. And you're starting to feel a little lightheaded and a little irritable. And you know, you have, Hold on a second.

1:03:56Mel Robbins:And, oh, you were saying, hold on. Oh, is he leaving? Oh, let me go hug him. Anything else? I don't think so. That was insane. Yeah, it's really good.

1:04:12Mel Robbins:Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Sirius XM Podcasts.

1:05:14can find it in the frozen aisle. Marie Callender's what having it all tastes like. Your little one grew three inches overnight. Adorable. Also, expensive. Sell their pint-sized pieces on Depop and list them in minutes with no selling fees. Because somewhere, a dad refuses to pay full price for the clothes his kids will outgrow tomorrow. And he's ready to buy your son's entire wardrobe right now. Consider your future growth spurt budget secured. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognizes taste. Payment processing fees and boosting fees still apply. See website for details.