4 Harsh Truths About The Game Of Life

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a favor. Give us a rating and review. However you listen to us, more positive ratings and reviews that we get. The more those platforms actually present this podcast, people have never listened to it before, which allows us to grow and impact more people's lives. So if you do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, we're going to be talking about the four harsh truths for this game of life that we're playing.

0:38And you need to really understand these truths and make changes within yourself if you want to create a great life and also win the game of life. So let's dive into it. Number one is that you are more committed to your identity than your growth. And that is something that absolutely has to change in order for you to create the life that you want. You have to realize that you are probably more committed to the old version of you than the new version of you. The new you will cost you the old version of you. the one that you've been identified with for so long. And most people, even though they want to grow, are not ready to let go of their old self.

1:16No matter how painful it is, the current circumstance, they would rather be in the exact same position and miserable than to actually put themselves out of their comfort zone and have to change who they think that they are. And most people unconsciously choose this. Not like people are just sitting around going, well, I want to be miserable. Most people unconsciously choose familiarity of their old self and staying in misery and being comfortable than to actually change. And the only way for you to evolve into a new version of yourself is you're going to have to let go of who you used to be. You're going to have to shed your old skin.

1:58It's like a snake. A snake will suffocate if it does not shed its old skin. That's why it feels like you're self-sabotaging over and over again. It feels like a tight restrictive thing is because you're not letting go of your old version of yourself and you're trying to cram a new version of yourself in that skin. It's impossible. Your identity is just a story that you've told yourself a thousand times and you actually think that it's true. The brain protects it like it is truth, even if it's a complete lie. It's a complete fabrication. It's something that you made up unconsciously. And neurologically, this also makes a whole lot of sense of why we don't want to change is because your brain favors the known over the unknown.

2:41It literally burns fewer calories by staying the same. And so change feels unsafe because it's metabolically expensive. It's hard for you to do it cognitively. And so if you identify as the people pleaser or the fixer or the strong one or the good kid or the victim or the underdog, even growth and growing into a new version of you, which could be a better version of you, kind of feels like self-betrayal. And an ego death often feels like a real death. That's why most people would rather stay stuck than risk evolving in some sort of way. And your transformation won't begin until your loyalty to who you're becoming becomes stronger than your loyalty to who you've always been.

3:31One of the things I hate hearing people say is like, well, this is who I've always been or that's how I've always been or this is what I've always done. I'm like, yes. And if you wanna stay the same, that's absolutely fine. But if you want change, if you want to be better, you're gonna have to let go of that. And so that's one of the biggest truths that you're gonna have to change is you're gonna have to let go of who you've been in order to change into who you wanna be. So that's number one. Number two is that your living rules that you didn't consciously choose. Take that in for a second. You're living by rules in your life that you didn't even consciously choose.

4:06You're living in a straight jacket and you don't even know it. It feels so confined because you're following rules that your parents made up and stuff you think you're supposed to do and all of these different rules from your family and from society and from school. We're unconsciously following rules that were made by people that are no smarter than us. What? Like that's kind of crazy if you think about it. Like you're following rules that were made by someone like in the 1600s that was a pilgrim that came across an ocean that never had any of the technology that we have, but it just became part of society and became part of what we do.

4:45And that's what we've been raised in. We are unconsciously following rules that were made by people that were no smarter than us. And we're trying to figure out how to fit ourselves into rules that make no sense. And I'm not saying go out and commit murder because it's a rule that you want to break. That's not what I'm saying. But what I'm saying is we have so many societal and familial and social constructs and rules that we follow that we don't really need to. Like, think about it. So many people wear certain clothes and dress a certain way because they think that's what they're supposed to do.

5:24Well, that's you trying to fit into a box. How we act in certain situations, well, that's you fitting into a box. The words that you say or do not say is you fitting into a box. It's one of the reasons why, personally, I just love cussing in the first place, but I love the fact that some people have to come in contact with the fact that a word is just a sound coming out of somebody's face. And if it triggers you in some sort of way, that's you following a rule that was made up by somebody else based off of a sound that comes out of somebody's mouth. Like all of these, what you wear, how you act, what you're supposed to do, the right way to do something, the wrong way to do something, the right words to say, the wrong words to say.

6:12That shit is exhausting if you really think about it. And there are a lot of people in this world that are constantly worried about messing up because they learned that in childhood so they fit into some sort of rule. Or they're constantly worried about getting into trouble because it comes from their childhood so they follow certain rules. Or doing it wrong because it comes from their childhood. Or failing because it comes from their childhood. Or being judged because it comes from their childhood. They're following rules that don't make sense because they're worried about what other people think about them.

6:44And that comes from something that is unhealed within them from their childhood. And it all comes from some form of past hurt, something that happened to us in our past. And what's really crazy is if you really meet somebody who really follows the rules, and I know people like this, this is why I'm laughing. Sometimes they follow rules so much that they'll make up rules that don't exist so they don't get in trouble because at some point in time in their childhood, they realize that they get in trouble if they don't follow rules. When rules don't exist, they'll make them up. And so most of the rules, quote unquote, rules that we follow were installed in us before the age of 10 by parents, by teachers, by family, by culture.

7:29And so you're an adult in living through adult problems with a child's mental programming. And these invisible rules become your subconscious GPS. They drive every thought that you have. They drive every decision that you make. They drive every action that you take, but you've never taken a step back and questioned who built this map that I'm following. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. Oh, don't be too loud. Be realistic. Children are supposed to be seen and not heard. Money doesn't grow on trees. They're all these little teeny tiny rules that we follow. And these are not truths of this universe.

8:16They are inherited limitations. And if we're going to grow ourself into a different person, we need to make up our own rules. If we're going to do something amazing in this world, we need to make up our own rules. At some point, you have to decide your own rules, who you want to be, what you want to do, what you want to believe, what rules you want to follow, how you want to act, what rules you want to break. Freedom comes when you rewrite the rules, not in rebellion or just as a middle finger to society, but you rewrite the rules to be in alignment with your authentic self. And so that's number two, is that you have to realize that you're living a life and living rules, living in these constructs that you didn't even choose for yourself.

9:02They were made up by other people that probably weren't even as smart as you, to be honest. So that's number two. Number three, is that in this game of life, you will keep attracting into your life what you have not healed yet. Whatever you're struggling with is a reflection of what you haven't healed from your past. Think about that for a second. If you're struggling with the same thing over and over and over again, it's the universe kind of like knocking at the door going, hey, dude, you need to work on this. You need to heal this. And the universe isn't going to come to you and God, whatever you believe in.

9:39It's not going to come to you in words. it's going to come to you in circumstances, in situations and saying, Hey, I keep presenting this to you because you haven't learned the lesson. You haven't healed from it. You know, I was on a call last week with one of the coaching groups that I have. And this woman said, I keep attracting the same person. And as we started talking about, she was talking about the men that she attracts and the problems that she has in the relationship with the men. And it's like, you know, same person, different face. And then I was like, well, tell me, take me through your childhood.

10:10What was your relationship with your mom? Like, what was your relationship with your dad? Like, and you can notice that the men that she's attracting mirror how her father was with her when she was younger. And it's in, you know, then I started asking, well, how's your relationship with father? Have you healed these things? No, of course not. It hasn't happened. And so, you know, because of these things that happened to her in her childhood, which were terrible in her relationship with her father, she developed this core belief of, I don't deserve love. And that's a core belief. It's a story. It's not truth, but she has this core belief of I don't deserve love.

10:45And with that being the case, she has created a story that is false. And the universe is saying, you need to heal this. So I'm going to keep bringing you the same situation over and over and over again until you heal it. So the universe is trying to free her, free her, but also you from all of your bullshit stories by bringing you the same circumstance until you decide to heal it. Because it can't talk to you in words. So it brings you these circumstances over and over and over and over again until you heal the core wound. In this case of the example I gave you, which is I don't deserve love. That's not an absolute truth.

11:23That's a belief. And the universe is saying, that's bullshit. You need to change this. So I'm going to keep bringing this to you until you heal yourself, which comes back to the situation that was with her father. And so trauma from our past, just so you know, doesn't show up as a memory. We think of trauma as a memory. Trauma shows up in your life as a pattern. Think about that. It shows up in your life as a pattern. And so your subconscious isn't logical. It's repetitive. It will keep choosing familiar pain over unfamiliar peace until you have decided that you're going to heal. And so it's not that you're cursed.

11:59It's not that this isn't something that can't heal. It's that you're on repeat and your nervous system keeps replaying what hasn't been resolved. And so when you look at people that are triggering you, People are not triggers. People are teachers. They're exposing the unhealed parts of you. Every toxic pattern in your life is an invitation for you to meet the version of you that's still hurting, that's waiting to be healed. You don't break patterns by trying harder. You break patterns by reparenting the version of you that created them. No one is going to heal what trauma happened to you in your past, but you.

12:35Only you can heal that trauma. You know, I did an entire episode about how to reparent yourself. You can go back and listen to it and go much more in depth in it. But you have to understand that. Is anything that you continue to keep attracting into your life comes from something that you haven't healed in your past? So that's number three. And number four, I want you to just understand this because a lot of people are stuck in this. Money will not make you feel safe. It won't. And I can tell you this from my own personal experience. I thought that money was what I had to, because of childhood experiences and all the stuff that happened to me, I needed to feel safe.

13:08And the only way to feel safe was to feel financially safe. But I want you to understand this. And this is something I really can tell you is an absolute truth in this world. The only problem that money solves are money problems. What you're really wanting is what you think money will make you feel. And for most people, that's safe or a sense of control. But money will never make you feel safe. Money will never make you feel in control. You want to feel that way because you probably had an unstable childhood or you didn't feel safe in your house or you didn't feel like your parents could fully provide or you didn't feel like your parents could be there for you emotionally.

13:44Sure, you can pay your bills, but it won't make you feel safe in this world. If you learned early on that you couldn't rely on your parents or that love was conditional or safety was conditional or approval from others was conditional, your brain might have gone, well, then I need to make money. I need to make more problems. Money is not a solution to your core wounds. It's not. Real safety in this world comes from self-trust, not net worth. And so if you really want to feel safe in this world, safe in your body, safe in this universe, it comes from you learning to trust yourself more. You learning to grow from circumstances.

14:25You learning that when you say you're going to do something, you actually do it. That is where real safety comes from. And I can tell you, most of us are just outsourcing our life and our safety to hopefully making finances. Oh my gosh, once I become a millionaire, then everything will be okay. No. It's like, you know, like you might have, okay, you might've upgraded from a Toyota to a Ferrari, but you are miserable in a Toyota and you'll be miserable in a Ferrari. Sure. It might be fun when you go faster. You might think it's cool to drive around. But when you pull into your garage and you sit there for a few minutes, you're going to feel exactly the same way.

15:02The only problems that money solves are money problems. And so if you're really trying to make yourself feel safe in this world, it comes from you. You are the solution to all of your problems. So those are the four harsh truths of this world. Hopefully from this, you can start to make some adjustments and start to change yourself in some sort of way so that you can grow, you can improve, and you can create the life that you want. So if you love this episode, please, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you love this podcast, you wanna learn more about coaching with me outside of this podcast, you can go to coachwithrob.com.

15:37Once again, coachwithrob.com. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way. I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission. Make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.