Act As If Everything Always Works Out

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1:28Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn and grow and improve your life. So if that's something that you want to do, hit that subscribe button, join us along, and I would love to see you on the next one. Today, I'm going to be talking to you about how and why you want to act as if everything in your life is always working out for you. Because what if I told you that everything in your entire life, which was the good and the bad and the confusing and the painful, all of those things were always working out in your favor, whether you realize it or not.

2:11Not sometimes, not when it's really obvious, but all of the time. And I know because part of your brain is like, yeah, like that sounds great, but that's kind of bullshit too. But what if the way that you perceive your life is actually what is shaping your life and what your life becomes? And so that's what we're going to dive into today because most people don't realize this. You are not reacting to your reality. You are reacting to your interpretation of reality. And your interpretation, I promise you this is not neutral. It is trained. So if your default interpretation based off of your childhood and based off your teenage years and heartbreaks in the past and all that stuff, if your default interpretation is something like it's bad or this is a setback or this isn't working or I'm never going to succeed, then your nervous system, your thoughts, your decisions, and your identity will all align with the story that you're telling yourself.

3:14So when I say act as if everything is working out, I'm not talking about like just blind positivity. I'm talking about a conscious selection of your thoughts instead of just defaulting to whatever you were raised to believe. It's you deciding that in your childhood, in your past, you have been programmed and you've been running those programs. But from this moment forward, you are deciding I am going to reprogram myself. And will it take years? Absolutely. But will it change the entire course of my life? Yes, it will. And so you have to understand there's this thing, this concept that's called cognitive reality filtering.

3:56It is the process by which your brain selectively, keyword, interprets and focuses on information that confirms your existing beliefs, which then shapes your reality of experience. So your brain, you have to understand, filters more than 99 % of what comes through your five senses. And it only focuses on what you believe to be true. It is looking for data to prove what you already think. Your brain is never going to look for data to challenge what you think and what you believe. It's always looking to prove itself correct. So if you believe, oh, life is hard. I'm just not lucky. Things don't work out for me.

4:47I'll never be successful, I'm not lovable, I'm not enough, whatever it is, your brain will filter out all of your reality and just focus on just the things to confirm you're not lovable, not enough, never be successful. Life is hard. But if you decide, this is the thought that I'm going to have for the rest of my life. Everything is always working out for me. If you decide that that's what you believe, then your brain will start scanning for evidence to support that instead. So think about it. Which would you prefer that it finds data to? Because it's going to find data to either one. Would you prefer that it's going to find data to everything always works out for me?

5:33Or that it's going to find data to life is hard, I'll never be successful, I'm unlovable. so the truth is you are not just finding reality like you're not looking at reality as it actually is you're filtering reality at every single second of your life and only looking for proof on what you already believe so what do you want to believe that's a really important question and like let's just let's call it what it is this does require a little bit of a a level of let's call it intentional delusion, right? But the twist of it is this, every identity, everybody in the world that's listening to this podcast right now, the identity that you have of yourself is a form of delusion.

6:19It's not a hundred percent truth. And every identity is a form of delusion at all points in time. But also when you're trying to change your identity, it's even feels like even more of a delusion. So like if you see that confident person or that successful person or that disciplined person, at some point they had to pretend before it actually felt real, before it became real. So you kind of have to pretend your life into reality and your brain will find proof for what it is that you're actually trying to get yourself to believe. And so you don't become somebody by waiting for your personality or your identity just to come around the corner and hit you on the side of the head.

7:08And now you're like, oh, this is what I believe about myself. No, you become somebody by rehearsing that person. Every single thought, every single reaction, every single interpretation, you eventually become whatever it is that you rehearse the most. And so most people say stuff like, well, see this, this isn't working. It's not working out for me. And then what happens is because they think to themselves, this isn't working. Their brain will then look for proof in their reality to prove that it's not working. And if it's not working, why would you continue to keep going? And so what they do is they find all of the evidence for why it's not working.

7:50And then they go, you know what? Well, if it's not working, then I should stop. But if you say, hey, like, perfect, this must be part of it working out. Whenever there's a failure, whenever you screw something up, hey, this must be part of it working out for me. Or like, you know what, maybe I'm being guided in a better direction. And we will be right back. IXL is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're building math confidence, strengthening reading and writing skills, or reviewing science concepts. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S.

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10:52The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash D-I-A-L. netsuite.com slash D-I-A-L. And now back to the show. When you think that way, it makes it easier to then continue on. And so you're creating your life with every single thought that you have. And this is where it really gets deeper. Every time you think a thought, you're not just thinking that thought. It's also a directional signal. It tells your brain what to focus on, what to ignore, what to believe, what to build meaning around. And so you're not creating your life. Like your life isn't created in these huge moments that happen a few times a year or a few times over the course of your life.

11:42Your life is created. Your meaning in life is created by a thousand little teeny tiny meetings. Oh, that person didn't call me back. Okay. Well, if they didn't call you back, then what meaning do you give it? Because we're all meaning making machines. So a lot of people are like, oh, that person didn't call me back. So they think, well, they must not like me. or they must have somebody that's more important to hang out with, or they really didn't like hanging out with me in the first place. So they don't want to see me again. And so they immediately go to something negative, but it's like these little tiny meanings.

12:10They haven't texted me back in two hours. Then you put, you know what I'm saying, right? You're already like starting to, you're already starting to make little tiny meanings about it. Oh, my boss said this word, that must mean this. Oh, this person has to call me back in this amount of time. That must mean this. And so your life is not creating these big moments. It's creating these little teeny tiny thousands of little teeny tiny meanings that you create throughout the course of the week. So something happens in your life and you unconsciously assign meaning to what just happened. And that meaning shapes your emotion.

12:45That emotion shapes your behavior. That behavior shapes your actions and your actions shape your results in life. So what if you stopped unconsciously assigning meaning to things and you started consciously deciding the meaning to those things instead. Well, if that's the case, because meaning shapes emotion, emotion shapes behavior, behavior shapes actions, and action shapes results. If I can change the meaning in those moments and decide something different, it could change the entire course of my life. This means that if you change the meaning to like from something like, well, it's not, it's not working out for me.

13:26and you change it to, this is always working out for me, you don't just feel better in the moment, you will feel better. You'll also behave differently. And when you behave differently, you will get different results in your life. And if you do that for a while, long-term, you will have created a different life just by the meaning that you're giving each moment. And it's a life that you have consciously created by deciding that everything is working out for you versus just allowing your brain going to old defaults and old programs and patterns from your childhood, which in most cases, for most people, about 80 % of their thoughts are negative.

14:06So don't you think maybe we should step in there and try to give ourself a better meaning for what's going on? So if you zoom out for a second, like let's zoom out, right? Think about your life five years ago. Think about, it could be 10 years ago, right? Five, 10 years ago. Think about the things that didn't work out the way that you wanted to. Think about the things that fell apart. Think about the relationships that fell apart. Think about the things that hurt. Think about the hard times that you went through. How many of those things actually led you to something better? Don't somehow the hardest moments in our lives almost always lead us to something better?

14:46Think about it. The hardest moments in your life, you would never want to go through them again. I can think about a few of the hardest moments in my life. I would never want to go through them ever again. But now that I'm out of it and I'm removed by five years, 10 years, 20 years, I can see how it changed the course of my life. Can you see that as well? If you think back, you would never want to go through them again, but you also don't want to remove that moment from your life because you can see how it changed you. You can see how it changed your life. You can see how it made you stronger.

15:19You never want to change that now, right? So think about it. the job you didn't get, the relationship that ended, the opportunity that fell through that you wanted so badly at the time, it felt like it wasn't working out. But now years down the road, you can kind of see that it was working out, right? Like humans are wired to make sense of the past and we can look back and connect the dots and we can say, oh God, yeah, that makes sense. That's why it had to happen. In psychology, it's called retrospective coherence. Retrospective coherence is where past events seem more predictable and logical and inevitable, looking back on them in hindsight than they were when they were occurring, which is why they always say hindsight's 20-20s because now you're able to see why those things happen the way that they did.

16:13And here's the shift. I really want you to get this. This is the point I want to hammer home. if you can see now looking back into your past how it all worked out years down the road after all of it's over it all makes sense right you can see why it was necessary so if you can see looking back how everything that happened to you worked out to basically your benefit that's looking in the past. What if you applied the same trust in this present moment when you're going through things? That's all I'm asking you to do. I'm not asking you to blindly just be positive for no reason, like toxic positivity.

16:56I'm saying if you right now in this moment can look back over the past 5, 10, 20 years of your life and see how everything worked out for you, why can't you in this moment take that and go, well then I'm going to just sit in the moment and realize when something hard happens to me, it's also happening for my own benefit. Everything is happening for me. Because life comes down to this one simple thing. Either you think life is happening to you, which is making you a victim, or you think that life is happening for you. This is where everything splits is your decision of the way that you look at your life.

17:30Two people can go through the exact same situation and one can be like, oh, why is this happening to me? And the other one says, how is this happening for me? It's the same event. It's a completely different reality based off of what? What they're choosing to focus on. So you need to decide in your life who you're going to be. Are you going to be the person that says life is happening to me and you make yourself a victim? Or are you going to say someone that's, hey, life is happening for me and it's like, hey, everything is always working out in my favor. I can't always see it in the moment, but over time, I will.

18:08Because the event that happens to you doesn't necessarily define your life at all. It's your interpretation of the event. I heard a quote recently that really hit me hard, and it said that God never says no. It's either yes, or I have something better for you. And if you think about that for a second, what if every single no in your life, what if everything that you don't want to happen was actually just a redirect. That's the case. And that means that it's all always working out for you. And so here's what I really want you to do. This is a challenge for the next 30 days. This is the challenge I want you to focus on.

18:48I want you to act as if everything is always working out for you. As if you and God or the universe or creator or source or whatever you believe in are in a game together and you are on team together and you're both trying to make your life amazing you have to trust that it's either a yes i'm definitely getting this thing or if i didn't get what i wanted or if it's getting hard this is a redirect or this is a lesson that i need to learn so i can get stronger so i can get something even better and i want you to to act as if everything's always working out for you the next 30 days. Not just when it's easy, especially when it's hard.

19:25When something goes wrong, say, this is part of it working out for me. When something falls through, say, you know what? I just trust that this is actually redirecting me towards something better. When you feel uncertain about what's going on, you can say, hey, listen, I don't see it yet, but I know that this is working. Because the truth of all of this is that you don't wait for life to prove that it's working out. You decide that it's working out and then the beautiful thing about it is then you start to see it everywhere. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories.

20:05Tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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