Believe In Yourself

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode of this podcast because I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn and grow and improve yourself. And also, if you're out there and you want to dominate your 2025 goals, I just created a free ebook that you can download. If you go to goals2025.com, once again, goalswithans2025.com, you can download the ebook to learn how to plan, set, and achieve your New Year's resolutions. Today, we're gonna be diving into how to have more confidence and believe in yourself.

0:44And I was running a Zoom call, two different Zoom calls this week. And both Zoom calls I had, one of them was for my, where I teach people how to grow their coaching business. And another one was for just mindset alone. And in both of them, somebody asked me, how do I believe in myself more? And whenever someone asks a question in both of them, I'm like, I need to do a podcast episode on this because that's the universe telling me I need to do this. And so if you want to, you know, I do Zoom calls and coaching and all that stuff. If you want to learn more about it, you can go to robdowell.com.

1:15It's all on there. But, you know, one of the things that one of the women said, she said, I don't have confidence. I was like, I feel like I don't have confidence in myself. She said, I lie to myself. I lie to myself because I tell myself that I'm going to do something and I don't do it. And so I tell myself, I'm going to go to the gym and I don't go to the gym. I tell myself, I'm gonna wake up early and I don't wake up early. I tell myself, I'm gonna put time into growing my business and I don't grow my business. And we dove a little bit deeper and I asked more questions and what we ended up finding out and what she said was, I have found that I don't trust myself.

1:50And that was what was behind all of it was I don't trust myself. And then I asked her, I said, so what's the opposite of trusting yourself then, do you think? I'm sorry, what's the opposite of not trusting yourself? And she said, well, probably trusting myself. And I was like, sure, yeah, I guess the opposite of not trusting yourself would be trusting yourself. But another way of saying trusting yourself would be what? She said, having confidence in myself. I said, exactly. And you have to understand when you say, I'm going to go to the gym, say 10 times, how many times do you go? And she's like, I don't know, maybe two or three.

2:24And I say, and when you don't go to the gym, what do you say to yourself? So you say you're going to go to the gym 10 times. you go to gym two or three times. Then when you don't go to the gym, what do you say to yourself? And she's like, I say stuff like, what the hell are you doing? You're worthless. You look like shit. No wonder why you're still single. I said, okay. And when you do go to the gym, what do you say to yourself? Like, even when you do go to the gym, those two or three times, what do you say to yourself? And she said, I say stuff like, I'm not working hard enough. You're still overweight.

2:56You still don't look good in a bathing suit. I was like, my goodness. you're like beating yourself up whether you do what you want to do or you don't do what you want to do. And I want you to think about this. I'll give you another example, right? Let's say that you go and you go to someone's house and they have an aggressive dog. Most people are like, oh my gosh, there's something wrong with that dog. It's aggressive. I want you to understand that dog was not born aggressive. That dog has been through something in the past and now it associates something that has two arms and walks on two legs as dangerous.

3:32And so the dog associates the silhouette of a human with danger. If you talk down to yourself when you don't go to the gym, and you still talk down to yourself when you do go to the gym, what do you think you're associating in your mind the gym as? You're mentally beating yourself up every single time you go to the gym and every single time you don't go to the gym. Of course, your brain is going to want to avoid that thing because it associates, is this thing good? Is this thing bad? Well, whether I do go where I don't go, I still beat myself up about it. So it's bad. And you have to understand that's a protection mechanism.

4:14The same way that the dog is aggressive whenever it sees a human is the same way your brain tries to avoid going to the gym. And it could be the gym. It could be relationships for those of you that have been heartbroken or that have messed up or someone cheated on you or something like that, you can place whatever it is and you want to in that space. And so she was beating herself up whether or not she did something. And it's like, we all have brains that associate something with something else. That's one of the great things about brains is when something happens, we associate it with something else.

4:44When something happens, we associate it with something else. Now, every time, if I just even take it down to my dog bear, Every time I open a package in the kitchen, that dog runs as fast he can to me because his treats come in a package that makes the same noise. So that sound, he associates with treats. He runs to us. Our brains associate good or bad to everything. My question is, that thing that you avoid, the gym, relationships, growing your business, do you associate that thing as good or do you associate that thing as bad? And I'm not talking about what you consciously associate it. Like you can go, yeah, well, I know that going to the gym is good.

5:26Okay, that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking behind the scenes, the subconscious, the 95 % that's working behind your conscious mind. Are you going good? Are you going bad? And that's the first way that I want to start off today to help you kind of realize why it might be hard to take action towards something. So then the natural question from there is how do I start believing in myself to take action? Which is asked to me all the time, Rob, how do I believe in myself so I can start taking action towards what it is that I want? But here's the deal. And I've said this before, and I really want people to understand this.

5:59Who said that you have to believe in yourself in order to take action? Like it's a prerequisite. Belief is a prerequisite to taking action. It's not. Belief is not a prerequisite to taking action at all. In fact, if you're doing something that you've never done before, if you're doing something that you're not good at, if you're doing something that you're still a beginner at, you should not believe in yourself. You shouldn't. It would be actually kind of crazy to believe in yourself when you've never done something or you've never done it well. But here's the beautiful thing about taking action is you don't have to believe in yourself at all in order to take any bit of action, right?

6:38So if you're a salesperson, when I was younger, I used to train salespeople. I trained over 2 ,000 salespeople, right? If you're a salesperson, you don't have to believe somebody is going to buy. All you have to do is talk to enough people, follow the script, eventually somebody will buy. Now, I understand the more belief and conviction that you have in yourself and the product will help you make more sales. But just in general, you don't have to believe in yourself in order for someone to buy. You just have to do what you need to do. You need to knock on the doors and talk to people, or you need to pick up the phone and just hit 10 numbers and talk to somebody.

7:13None of that requires you brainwashing yourself into magically believing in yourself. Now, does belief help? Yeah, absolutely. Is it required? No. And it's definitely not a prerequisite to taking any action. Now, I'm not saying don't do affirmations. Don't be kind to yourself. Any of that. I love those. I think there's definitely important. We're going to talk about positive self-talk today as well. I'm not saying don't talk positively to yourself. It does help. Like for me, even when I do it for myself all the time, when I was writing my book level up and I was sitting in Sedona and I was about to start it, I was like, Oh my God, this is going to be so hard.

7:51And I noticed that I was, I was taking this idea that it was going to be so hard to, to write a book because I had heard from so many people that it's so hard to write a book. And I said, no, screw that. I've been preparing my entire life to write this book. Everything that I need is inside of my brain. This is going to be easy and effortless. It's going to be easy. And I started repeating it, easy and effortless and easy and effortless. So then when I sat down to write, it made it so much easier. So I'm not saying don't speak positively to yourself, right? Definitely do that. What I'm saying to you is belief or positive thinking or positive speaking to yourself is not required to take action.

8:30And those definitely help you rewire your thoughts and build your self-belief, but it's not required. And we will be right back. And now, back to the show. But do you know what helps you build belief in yourself more than anything else? Doing what you say you're going to do. And doing what you don't want to do, but doing it anyways. If you do what you say you're going to do, when you say, hey, I'm going to do this thing and you do it, guess what you start doing? You start believing yourself more. When you do something that is hard that you really don't want to do and you do it anyways, even if you don't succeed, you still build belief in yourself.

9:12It's not about success or not being successful. It's about you showing up for yourself and that builds trust in yourself. There's always someone that's watching you, and that's you. There's always someone that's watching you. Results are great, but action and doing what you say you're going to do, way better. Showing up for yourself, following through with your word, with your actions. If you get results better than you've achieved before in your past, you will start believing in yourself more. And if you do it over and over and over and over again, your belief continues to raise. So most people want to read a book about how to believe in themselves or how to have more confidence.

9:56They want to, you know, take some magical pill of how to believe in themselves. It doesn't exist. You've got to take action. You've got to do what you need to do. And eventually you will get the results that you want. How do you get results? Take action in the direction that you're trying to go. It's pretty simple, right? Like let's, I'll give you a couple of examples. Let's say that you want to lose weight, you don't have to believe in yourself or you don't have to believe that you will lose any weight to show up at the gym. You don't have to believe that you lose any weight in order to do a workout that makes you sweat.

10:27You don't have to believe in yourself and believe that you will lose any weight to cut out your junk food. You don't have to believe that you lose any weight to consume more water. You don't have to believe that you will lose any weight in order to rest. You don't have to believe in yourself and believe that you'll lose any weight to cut out sugar. But if you do all of those things over and over and over again for a consistent amount of time, guess what happens? Eventually, you will jump on a scale and you will see a lower weight in a few weeks. It's just going to happen. When you take the right action, you get the right results.

11:06Belief not required for that. And when you see a lower weight, Do you think you start to believe in yourself a little bit more? Yes, just a little bit more, and a little bit more, and a little bit more. That's the belief that you were hoping you could brainwash yourself into, but you can't if you don't get your ass off the couch. If you're a, you know, another example is you're a salesperson, because we were talking about earlier, and you know that X amount of calls will equal Y amount of people picking up, which equals Z amount of people will buy because you've been working there for a while and you know your statistics and your numbers.

11:42And you break it down, you're like, that means that I need to make 50 calls per day for the entire year. And I will hit my goal of$100 ,000 that I made this year. You don't have to believe that you can make$100 ,000 in order to pick up the thumb. You don't have to believe that you make$100 ,000 in order to read the sales script. You don't have to believe that you make$100 ,000 in order to read how to overcome objections. You don't have to believe that you make$100 ,000 in order to do that job or anything required in that job. And if your math is right, as long as you take the action, as long as you make the 50 calls and talk to everyone and overcome objections and follow the script and follow up, you will make that$100 ,000.

12:24But you didn't have to believe in yourself. You just had to take action. And when you take action, you get results. And every time you get results, you start to believe yourself a little bit more. Let's say that you want to write a book. So many people write into me and they're like, Rob, I want to write a book. What did you do? How do you do it? What's the, tips. Well, you don't have to believe in yourself in order to write 500 words a day. You don't have to believe in yourself in order to outline your plot. You don't have to believe in yourself in order to set a timer and write for 20 minutes.

12:53You don't have to believe anyone will ever want to read your book in order to edit your first draft. You don't have to believe that anybody's going to like your story or your book in order to share your draft to the friend or critique group. You don't. But when you take action, you eventually get the results that you want. And just getting the results will build confidence, but even just the seeing yourself take action will build confidence. When you just go to the gym and you don't stop and you don't worry about believing in yourself, guess what? You'll eventually get to the point when you look into the mirror and you'll start to visually see yourself looking better, losing weight.

13:32you will get onto the scale and you will see a lower number than the last time that you jumped on it. And when you see that, do you think you'll believe in yourself a tiny bit more? Yes. And week after week, you'll start to look better and you'll get a little bit more confident. And week after week, the scale is going to be a little bit lower and you'd be a little bit more confident. In sales, when you get your first sale, do you think you believe in yourself a little bit more? Yeah, a tiny bit. Your second sale? Yeah, a tiny bit. Third sale? A little bit more. Your 40th sale, do you think you're going to believe in yourself a little bit more than you did on your first sale?

14:05Absolutely. So what's the key takeaway here? You don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action. If you're waiting to take action until God bestows upon you confidence and belief, you're going to be waiting forever. You just have to take the right action and eventually the results will come. And when the results come, you'll start to believe in yourself a little bit more. And one day you'll wake up and you'll realize that you have way more confidence than you did a year ago or two years ago or three years ago. Not because you wanted to believe in yourself or because you waited to believe in yourself, but because you took action towards the results that you wanted to get.

14:41A confident person is not born. Like when I go downstairs and hang out with my son, I'm not like, wow, he is so confident. Confident person is built brick by brick by brick, action by action by action, results by results by results. All of those come from them taking some form of action. And now when you look at it, I'll talk about this real quick. I did an episode on this thing earlier this year. It's called the confidence competence loop. So a lot of people are like, well, how do I get better at this thing? How do I get more confident? Right? So when you look at competence and confidence, right?

15:16So confidence means you believe in yourself. Competence means that you have the skillset to do what you need to do. And that skillset's growing. So most people like, okay, do I get confidence first or do I get competence first? Because when I have confidence, it's easier for me to take action. And when I take more action, I get more competence. And when I have more competence, it makes me take more action, which then makes me have more confidence. And so it's this loop that happens where they both play into each other. More confidence. I have more confidence. I have more confidence. I have more confidence.

15:51I have which one comes first? It's like the chicken or the egg. Do I get confident first or do I get competence first? And it's a trick answer. You don't get either one first. It's not the chicken or the egg. You have to take action in order to give yourself a chance to become more confident, start to believe in yourself more, and to become more competent, which is starting to actually have the skill set and the knowledge to do what needs to be done. So if you want to be confident, if you want to be competent, if you want to believe in yourself, you have to get your ass up and take some action.

16:30There is no book that you can read. There's no meditation that you can do. There's none of those things. Now, if you do want to add fuel to the fire, I recommend this. Stop being such an asshole to yourself in your own head and with the action that you're taking, actually start to talk positively to yourself. If you take action towards the goals that you want and you are in your own head speaking positively to yourself, being your number one fan, it's like superhuman confidence. Because what happens is we unconsciously, most of us over our lifetime, have brainwashed ourself into not believing in ourself and not thinking that we can do something, which makes it harder to take action.

17:13But when you start taking action and you start really paying attention to, rewiring your thoughts to believe in yourself, to be nicer to yourself, to speak positively to yourself, and you're taking the action, and you're getting the results, and you're getting more confidence, and you're getting more competence, then you start to develop this real superhuman confidence over a year, two years, three years, five years. So if you really, really want to develop the confidence and the belief in yourself, you have to understand the only way to get there, and I've coached thousands of people over the last 19 years.

17:46I've never seen somebody meditate their way into confidence, into believing in themselves. The number one way is to take action, to do what you say you're going to do and to do the things that are tough, but you know you should do. If you do that, eventually confidence and self-belief will come. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. So if you've ever gotten any value from anything I've ever put out, please do me a favor and share this so that we can impact the world and change more people's lives.

18:23And with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.