Don’t Grind Your Life Away

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. Thanks to you guys. I'm your host, Rob Dye. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to keep improving yourself, I have a training. It's a video training on how to journal that you can access if you go to mindsetmentorjournal.com. And also when you get that training, you also get 15 days of journaling sent to you every single day to help you improve in your journaling practice. So once again, if you want that absolutely free, it is mindsetmentorjournal.

0:42dot com. Today, we're going to be talking about not grinding your life away. And, you know, in our really fast-paced go, go, go, grind, grind, grind, hustle, hustle, hustle society, it is all too easy to get caught up in the daily grind, to trying to climb the corporate ladder. We want success. We want financial stability. We want to buy some cool shit. I want a Lamborghini. I want a big old house. I want to travel the world. I want to put this stuff on Instagram and show how awesome I am to other people, right? Like a lot of people think this way. And mind you, I will tell you, I am speaking 100 % from experience of this, of being somebody who worked when I was, you know, let's see, it was 2009.

1:26So I was 23 years old, 23, 24, 25 years old. I worked 110 hours a week for three years straight, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, because all I wanted to do was be successful. It's like that old school Drake song, I just want to be successful. I think that's also from like 2009, 2010. So listen to that song all the time and it was just like, I thought that the point of life was to succeed. And so I can tell you from experience, I know what that feels like, but I also know what's on the other side of it. And so it is important and it is fun to climb the corporate ladder, to have financial success, to succeed, to be able to buy cool things, to be somebody who has achieved.

2:12That is important. Achievement is important. It is what we all want to do in some way. That could be financial success. It could be relationship success. It could be achieving as a great parent and creating great children. We all want to succeed and achieve in some sort of way. All of that stuff is important, but when you look at the job that you have or the company that you're creating, all that stuff, None of that is actually truly the meaning of life. It's not. I will give you my thoughts of what I think that the true meaning of life is because it has moved and shifted over time. I think that the true meaning of life is enjoying life.

2:48So people are like, why are we here? What is the point of it, right? To enjoy it, right? Growing with the people who truly matter. I've read a, there's a really viral quote about a guy saying it recently on a podcast, but I read an article on it back in like 2018, 2019. And the point of life, in my opinion, is to enjoy the passage of time. To just enjoy time as it passes. But so many of us, myself included for years, are just white knuckling our way through life, trying to be somewhere that we're not. And we're not ever present. We're always living in the future. We're always trying to get to the next thing, to grind, to do it, to be there.

3:29Hustle, hustle, hustle, right? And it's a really hard truth to face. But, you know, if you look in the corporate world, everybody is replaceable. Everybody. No matter how skilled or dedicated you are, if you were to die suddenly, your employer would need to find somebody to fill your position. It's just the way that it goes. You know, my most viewed Instagram reel is at 11 million views, and it's literally all about how replaceable we all are and that we're not enjoying our life to the way that we want to. and that's my most viewed video that I've ever made, 11 million views. Hundreds of thousands of people have commented and shared it and liked it and all this stuff.

4:08It shows that a lot of us are so focused on just trying to succeed and get somewhere versus just enjoying where we currently are. And I'm not saying don't be motivated. I'm not saying don't be driven. You can always be those, but also you can still just enjoy where you are. You know, side note, if you don't follow me on Instagram, it's Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I share some really fire stuff on there. So if you like this podcast, you'll definitely like my Instagram as well. But going back to the whole side of every one of us is replaceable if we work for someone else. Being replaceable is when I just want to say this real quick so you know, it's not a reflection of your worth as a person.

4:45That's not what I'm saying. It just is the way that it is. It's a skill set that you have in a role and that skill set can be found somewhere else. So don't kill yourself over something like that. I'm not saying don't work hard. I'm saying work your ass off, but I love working hard. But people, I think most people need to work harder. But I'm also saying outside of that is your real life. I needed to hear this when I was 23, 24 years old. Hey, dude, you know, running your business, it's not your whole life. Making money shouldn't be your whole life. There's other things to experience and to enjoy and people to enjoy with, right?

5:24And so for me, I was just head down, no relationships, grind, try to succeed for a long time. And so I love hard work. I think that everybody listening probably could work harder and should work harder. But I'm also saying outside of that is actually what your real life is. And so when you look at the relentless pursuit of success that's just really omnipresent in our society, we live in a world where success tends to be measured most of the time, if we're being honest, by somebody's paycheck. how much money that they make. But is that really who you are? Is that all that you are, just digits in a bank account?

6:01You know, just a bunch of little dots that are on a screen. And when you start to focus on that, you really start to lose sight of what really matters. You know, like I'm hardcore on growth. I'm hardcore on working my ass off, on becoming a better version of myself, of you becoming a better version of yourself. But I'm just here to tell you now at, you know, getting closer to 40 every single day, it's not what life is all about. 23-year-old Rob, yeah, that's what he thought life was all about. Almost 40-year-old Rob, it's not what life is all about. No amount of money can replace the people around you.

6:39No amount of money can replace the love that's around you. And it doesn't mean that it's either you succeed in life or you have a great family. This is a really big point I want everyone to here is I'm not saying that, okay, you've got to give up all of your wanting to achieve and your drive and your motivation in order to be happy. I'm not saying that at all because that's a really scarcity mindset. Scarcity is or. I either am a really successful business owner or I have a great family. That's scarcity. Or is scarcity and is abundance. It's not or, it's and. I want to live an and life, right?

7:22I am going to be extremely successful and I'm going to be the best fucking father and spouse that I could possibly be. It's and. And if I need to evolve myself and grow myself past the capacity that I'm currently at in order for both of those realities to exist, I am going to do that. And so I can look at myself now and say, okay, is it possible right now for me to be an incredible business owner and also the best spouse and father that I possibly can be? Okay, maybe it probably can be possible. I can get myself to there. Okay, so what do I need to do to grow myself? What do I need to do to evolve myself so that both of those realities exist?

8:04Because that's an abundance mindset versus scarcity is like, well, I'm either successful or my wife loves me. I'm either successful or my children decide that they like me. No, that's not the way they work. Success is only fun when you have someone to celebrate with. So I'm going to do both. That's the way I want to look at it, right? Harvard did an 80-year study. It's still going on. I think it's about almost 90 years old at this point. Out of 700 men that they studied from literally teenage years until death, the number one key to happiness was close trusting relationships, not becoming a millionaire, not buying a Ferrari, not having a nice house.

8:44The number one key to happiness was close and trusting relationships. And the people that were lonely or had bad relationships almost always died earlier. So they actually found that toxic relationships are actually toxic to the human body. And so, you know, you've got to start to think about like, who do you want to be as a person? You know, you can be a successful business owner. You can climb the corporate lab where you can go from, you know, salesperson to CEO if you want to and all that, that is great. But nobody cares about that when you die. They don't. When you pass away, it's not your professional accomplishments that are remembered by people.

9:21It's not like 10 years after you pass away, they'd be like, well, Joe, he was just a really great, he's just a really great salesperson. No, that's not what they talk about, right? What you leave behind is how you act, interact, and treat people in the time that you're here. And really what it is, is the impact that you had on the lives around you. And I became very aware of this, and I've told this story before on the podcast, of my ex-girlfriend. I was really close to her and her family when I was in high school and my first couple years of college. And then we broke up, but about 10 years later, her father passed away after breaking up.

9:58He's like 10 years later. And her father passed away, And his funeral actually happened to be when I was back in Florida over Christmas break, back from Texas. And she invited me. And I had never been to a funeral with so many people. Like he was not successful. He was not this guy who had all of the money in the world. But he had so many people that literally there were people that were sitting. and then the entire wall on the outside of the church was filled with people. And it was so much that they had to actually lift up some of the windows and some people had to be outside because it was that many people at a funeral.

10:38And I thought to myself, holy shit. It's not about how many dollars are in your bank account when you die. It's about how many people did you impact? What did you do when you were here? And so I started thinking about it to myself and I was like, man, like when I die, which will be one day, what do I want to be said at my eulogy? oh my God, he was just a great businessman. That's the last thing that I want someone to say about me. So you start to think about, who do you want to be remembered as? What do you want to be remembered by? What habits, what traits, what characteristics do you want people to say about you after you're gone?

11:13People won't say, oh, he was worth$10 million when he died. No, they'll say, oh man, he was so kind. He was so loving. He was giving. He was thoughtful. That's what they're going to say about you. Because the legacy that you leave behind is determined by what you do while you're here. You know, there are people who get to the end of their life and their children are basically like, you were never there for me. And that's one of the biggest regrets. I remember listening to, and I won't name the coach, very successful, extremely successful, extremely famous college coach. And he was at his daughter.

11:51She was graduating and she was going, she played volleyball. She was graduating and she was basically choosing what school she was going to go to for college. And she had full rides to a bunch of different schools. And she gave this speech and she's like, and this is like heartbreaking to think about, right? She's giving this speech to her family of like, Mom, thank you so much. You were there. You did this. You were always doing this. You're always doing this. You're always doing this. And then she looks at her dad and she says, Dad, there's not much to say because you just weren't there. and you know he has this one of the most successful football coaches ever but his daughter said there's not much to say just because you weren't there and so what do you want do you want to you know and this is somebody who's won multiple championships and been extremely successful but his daughter he wasn't there for right and so the legacy that you leave behind is determined by what you do in life who you touch who you impact how you made others feel not what you did in your day job not what your job title is not how much money is inside of your bank account and it's important to really start to to think about and take a step back you know because we get so caught up in in day-to-day and sometimes we wake up years down the road we're like oh my god how did i get here it's important for all of us to take a step back every once in a while and to to think like what is the balance that i want in my business and my life right like once again i'm speaking to you from experience i have royally fucked this one up royally fucked it up right 110 hours a week for three years and sometimes things got to go out of balance to go in balance but i was way way way out of balance right and so i want you to understand like sometimes you've just got to decide like what do you want the balance to look like well who do you need to be how do you need things to be how do you need your time management to be for for all of the realities that you want to exist the incredible parent the incredible spouse, the incredible business owner, extremely successful traveler, kind, giving, loving, all of that.

13:47Who do you need to be? How do you need to change in order to make that happen? What does the balance need to be? And so I'm going to give you a couple of tips to really help you achieve the balance that you're looking for. The first thing that I think is super, super important is to set boundaries for yourself, but also other people that you might work with. If you have a boss, you could set some boundaries. If they're texting you at Sunday night, every single Sunday, five times a day, maybe you should set some boundaries, right? So establish clear boundaries between your work and your personal time.

14:18And it can include specific work hours, when you're checking emails, when you're not checking emails, when you're taking work calls, when you're not. And just really designing your life to look the way that you want it to. And you need to set boundaries with yourself, first off. and then you need to set boundaries with others. So, you know, the thing about boundaries is I always say there's three steps to setting boundaries. Number one is to get really clear on what the boundaries are. Number two is to clearly communicate them. And number three is to stay firm on them because the boundaries are always going to be overstepped.

14:50You're going to overstep your boundaries. Other people are going to overstep your boundaries. You have to stay firm. And when you communicate them clearly, first off, when you get clear, and then you communicate, the more clear that you are, the more that you can clearly communicate them. And then when someone does overstep the boundaries, or you understep the boundaries with yourself, you can then clearly communicate how you need to stay firm. So that's the first thing is to figure out like, what does it look like? You know, when do you work? When do you not work? When are you around? When are you not around?

15:17What does it look like for you? And I'm going to talk a bit more about that in just a second. Also, the other thing that I would say is the same way that you schedule work meetings and a deadline and something that's due, schedule time for your relationships. You know, if you're in a relationship, do you have weekly date nights? Do you have game nights with family? Do you have regular catch-ups with friends? Do you, you know, when you drive to work instead of listening to music, do you call up someone you haven't spoken to every single morning? And just by deciding to schedule these moments, you're more likely to make other people and being around other people, enjoying your life more of a priority.

15:52So that's the second thing. Another thing is to learn to delegate and to say no. I have found that a lot of people in this world are yes men and yes women. they say yes to everything and uh they get stepped all over because of it and so you have to recognize that you can't do everything and so you need to actually start to say hey i can't do that you know you need to figure out what is you can do what is you can't you start figuring out how to delegate tasks for work for your personal life so that you can you can do more of what you truly want to do um and then learn just to say no when you're stretched too thin and say hey like i can't do this.

16:26The thing that I found that the most successful people that I know are really good at compared to most people is they're really good at saying no. They know when something lines with what they're trying to do in their life and their priorities and they know when something doesn't. They're very firm on saying yes or they're saying no if it lines up or if it doesn't line up. And then the last thing is really just start trying to be present more often. So some I've really been working on a lot. Even yesterday, I had an extra 20 minutes and sure, I could have taken out my phone. I could have done some more work.

16:57I could have gone on Instagram. I could have watched something on YouTube. But I was like, you know what? It's a beautiful day outside. I'm gonna go sit outside in the sun. And I went outside with my dog and I just sat there and just didn't have my phone, didn't have anything. And I was like, I'm just gonna sit outside and just enjoy the passage of time, you know? And so it's like, be present sometimes. Be present when you're with your loved ones. Be fully present. You know, don't multitask. You know, give them your undivided attention. Put your phone away at a certain time. Delete Instagram if you need to.

17:25Turn on your do not disturb at six o 'clock and don't go back to your phone until tomorrow morning. Whatever it is you need to do to be more present, figure it out because it'll really help you deepen the connections that you have and ensure that when you are with somebody, because it's not about the amount of time you spend with somebody, it's the amount of actual presence that you give somebody that really matters. And so I'm just going to tell you this. You won't look back in 20 years and see your kids fully grown and think, man, you know what? I wish I would have spent more time at the office.

17:55I promise you that. You won't be like, you know what? I wish I would have spent more time on Instagram. I wish I would have spent more time on my phone. You're going to say, oh man, I wish I would have spent more time with my children. Now they're gone. Now they have their own children. And so it's really about just sitting down and reevaluating our priorities. Every once in a while, we just need to take a step back and figure out what our priorities are, what we want to do, where we want to go. and are we dedicating enough time to creating the relationships that we want, to loving our life, to being present, to doing the things we want to do or have we gone out of balance?

18:24If we've gone a little bit out of balance towards work or whatever it might be, then hey, what do I need to go to do to get back in balance? I'm not going to beat myself. I'm not going to be an asshole. Oh my gosh, I can't believe you did this again. It's just like, oh, noted. I went out of balance again. What do I need to go back in the balance that I want to? And that's really what it comes down to. Just don't spend so much time making a living that you forget to make a life. You weren't just born to pay the bills and die. You were born to experience life, to have fun, to be present and see what you can get out of it.

18:51So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories and tag me in it. Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I'll be honest with you. The reason why this podcast grows as much as it does is because you guys share it as much as you guys do. So if you would continue to keep sharing it, there might be somebody who's out there who follows you on Instagram and they might see this post on your stories and they might say, oh my gosh, I really want to listen to that podcast and it might start to change your life. So if you do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it.

19:20And with that, I'm gonna leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.