Get Addicted to Discipline in 6 Steps

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, do me a favor, give us a rating and review however you listen to us. The more positive ratings and reviews that we get, the more that those platforms show this podcast people have never listened to before, which allows us to grow and impact more people's lives. Today, we're gonna be talking about how to get your brain addicted to being disciplined. Because think about this.

0:37How many times have you told yourself that you're gonna start tomorrow and you don't. Because we think discipline means that we're going to be pushing harder, but maybe we've had it backwards all along. Maybe discipline isn't about fighting the resistance in front of us. Maybe it's actually about removing the resistance completely. And in this episode, I'm going to challenge the way that you think about self-control, motivation, and consistency. and I'm going to teach you a step-by-step process to how to actually enjoy taking action. Because the truth is, once you understand how to enjoy doing what matters most, everything in your life will start to change.

1:19So let's go ahead and start here. You cannot bully yourself into being consistent. Long-term, that is. I mean, you can shame yourself and guilt yourself and bully yourself into short bursts of effort, but never into real long-term sustained growth. That is going to lead to burnout if you just shame and guilt and push yourself to do something. I promise you, I did this for years and years and years. And I hear so many people, so many people say, oh yeah, I'm really good at starting and then I always give up and I don't know why. Well, here's why. Your brain at its simplest form just does not like to move towards pain.

2:01It wants to move away from pain. What it wants to move towards is reward. It wants to move towards pleasure. So the harder that something feels emotionally towards whatever it is you're trying to work at, the more resistance that you will naturally unconsciously build around that thing you need to do. So with that being said, and that being in the frame of today's episode, when you say, I just need more discipline, what you're really saying is, I need to learn more about how to make this feel good enough so that I want to do it. Think about that for a second, because believe me, for years, I mean, I worked 110 hours a week for three years straight when I was in my early 20s, and I burned myself out.

2:46I forced myself. And then I eventually did what everybody will do. When you force yourself have to do something. You burn out. But that's the secret is what I'm trying to share with you is you have to learn how to make taking that action feel good. Not like punishment, not like pressure. You want it to feel pleasurable. So how do we make it feel pleasurable to ourselves? Well, I'm going to give you kind of a step-by-step process suit, okay? First step of the process is to try something that's called the breadcrumb method. The breadcrumb method is really simple. Well, when you look at how most people build habits, most people build habits like they're climbing a cliff, like one huge, painful leap at a time.

3:28And it's just working towards it, going and pushing and going and pushing. But the brain doesn't like cliffs. What the brain really likes is trails. Small, clear, low effort paths that eventually lead towards the top of the mountain. And so the breadcrumb method is basically that. What you're going to do is you're going to take little teeny, like you're going to leave little teeny tiny irresistible cues that pull you towards the next step. They kind of make it easier and pull you towards taking the action. So an example that I'll give you, and you've probably heard me say many times, is if you want to work out in the morning, then lay your clothes out with your shoes, you know, ready to go.

4:11So as soon as you wake up in the morning, you're able to take action. You don't have to think about what you're going to wear. it's already ready for you. If you want to write your book and you want to sit down and write, then open your laptop the night before and maybe write yourself a note that says, you have permission to write one messy paragraph or one messy page, or just get it out of you. It doesn't matter if it's good or not. And the idea is just like, it doesn't have to be the perfect page. It doesn't be the perfect paragraph. Just get stuff on the paper. You know, if you want to eat better, maybe what you should do is just prep one thing for the next day.

4:49Like you can figure out some sort of way to wash and cut fruit so that it's the easiest snack available because normally when you work from home, you end up going for a bag of chips. And really the key to it is this. You don't want to wait for motivation. What you're trying to do is you're trying to design momentum. That's really what the key is with the breadcrumb method. You're trying to design momentum because starting is usually the hardest thing for most people. And this is what's most important. You just want to get a little teeny tiny bit of movement started. You know, like when I think about when I used to go on really long hikes, when I'd be in Sedona, right?

5:27We just got back from Sedona. We were there for a month. I would think about, oh my God, like this is a four mile hike. Like this is, oh my God, I don't know if I want to do this today. It's hot outside. And I start thinking about how long this entire thing is going to be. And I just tell myself, well, hey, just go out and walk for the first few minutes. If you don't feel like doing it, turn around. I'm like, oh, okay, that's really not too hard. And then so what I would do, I'd go out there, I'd walk for a few minutes and I'd be like, I feel pretty good, my heart rate's going, it's kind of beautiful out here.

5:54I'm just gonna keep going. And then I just keep going and I keep going. And the thing is, once you get that movement started, the momentum becomes so much easier. The more that you can remove friction, the more that you'll start doing the right thing without thinking. Think of it like this. The way I like to think about it is like, if you remember the movie E.T. and they, in the movie when they're trying to get E.T. to go somewhere, they put Reese's Pieces out in front of them. You're trying to design your life like you're E.T. and you're trying to put Reese's Pieces out in front of you. So you go from one step to the next one to the next one and eventually you're where you want to be.

6:29So that's the first thing. The second thing that you want to do is this. Make your progress visible. Your brain loves evidence that your effort is starting to equal progress. Tony Robbins always says progress equals happiness. Your brain loves evidence that your hard work, your effort is starting to equal progress. That's why tracking, even in small ways, is so powerful. And so one thing that you could do is this. There's a couple different methods, right? Put a calendar on your wall and cross off every day in a big red ink, cross off big X on the day that you take that action that you need to.

7:06Because once you see that start to, you get one day and two, and three, and you have a chain going, now you don't wanna break the chain more than anything else and start back at zero. Or you could drop a coin or a bead into a jar after each workout or when you get two hours of focus work done in a session. Or you can write one sentence a day about what you did well. Not how much you did, but what you did. Like what you did well. Now, if you wanna lose weight, one thing that's really good to do is to get a scale and then write down your weight every single day. Remember this, there's a really interesting principle that says what is tracked will improve, but what is tracked and recorded will improve exponentially.

7:51So if you were to hop on a scale every single day, you're basically tracking your weight. But if you're tracking it and then writing it down, you're tracking it and recording it, and you will improve exponentially. I can't tell you how many people I've coached over the years, and I just give them this tip, and they lose weight because now they're tracking and recording it every single day. And once you start to see the weight go down, you don't wanna see it go back up. So you start making better decisions. Progress that's seen becomes progress that's sustained. So how can you try to see your progress as much as possible?

8:22You know, when you have a bad day, don't beat yourself up. You have to remind yourself of your wins. So like one of the things I hear from a lot of people is like, and we will be right back. And now back to the show. you know, I always fall off of weight loss because I'll work out for like 17 days. I'll fall off, you know, day 18. And then I guilt myself and I shame myself and I make myself feel like shit. And then I don't do it again. And it's like, well, why don't you just celebrate the 17 days of consistency instead of the one day that you fell off? Like celebrate how far you've come. And then what you do is you learn from your mistake.

8:56Oh, I messed up on this day and use it as data so that you don't do it again. Once again, make yourself feel good because when you feel good, it's easier to take action. So that's number two. Number three is to start to reward yourself intentionally. This is about teaching your brain that effort feels good. The same way that if a dog does something that you want it to do, you give it a treat and does it again and you give it a treat. You have to train yourself as weird as it sounds the exact same way that you would train that dog. You're teaching your brain that the effort that you want to take to create the life that you want feels good.

9:29After every session, even if it's just a short one, do something that signals a reward. Step outside, take a real deep breath, slow breath of fresh air, feel the sun and just close your eyes and just enjoy being outside for just a minute. Or make yourself your favorite non-alcoholic drink if you're in the middle of work day. Or text someone like your best friend or your spouse or whoever it is that's like your biggest fan and say, I just did this, and I'm excited about it. And they come back and like, you're so great. I'm proud of you. You know, find that person and tell them so that you can start to feel the reward of them being proud of you as well.

10:04You can even just go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, smile at yourself and say, I'm proud of you. You're doing a great job. It sounds ridiculous, but there's so much proof that shows that that little reward makes you feel good because it really sees a little bit of dopamine, which tells your brain the effort is pleasurable. What you're doing is you're pairing effort with satisfaction. And you're getting your brain to become addicted to this thing because your brain wants more dopamine. And when you do something that feels good, it releases dopamine. You know, if you're not doing something that you want to do, it's because that you are pairing the action with dissatisfaction.

10:41You're starting to think about how hard it's going to be, how difficult it's going to be. What if you fail? What if you're not good enough? No, no, no. You can't do that. You have to start pairing it with the action that you want with satisfaction, the effort that you want with satisfaction. If you start doing this over time, your brain will start to crave that cycle. Work, reward, repeat. Work, reward, repeat. Or workout, reward, repeat. Workout, reward, repeat. Eat healthy, reward, repeat. It's just like you continue to keep doing this. This is how addiction shows up. And sure, people can be addicted to bad things, but they can also become addicted to good things.

11:19Addiction only comes from feeling good after doing something. So that's number three. Number four is to do something I call shrink at the start, right? You want to make it easier to start than it is to avoid. You want to shrink the start of it. So when something feels heavy and big and like a mountain we have to climb, we avoid it. Not because it's impossible, but because starting that thing feels too big. It feels like too large of a mountain. And so what you want to do, the trick of it is to shrink the start of it. So it's kind of like what I told you a couple of tips before. You're trying to shrink the start, make it easier so that you can get momentum on your side.

11:53If you're dreading going to the gym, tell yourself, I'm just going to go for 10 minutes. If you're avoiding sitting down to write your book, just say, I'm going to open the document and I'm just going to write one messy paragraph. If you're overwhelmed by cleaning your house, even if it's something like that, say, I'm just going to do one dish and then see how you feel after one dish. You're trying to shrink the start. Once you start, your brain naturally wants to finish, realizes it's not as big of a deal as you made it out to be, and then you start to get some momentum on your side. And momentum eventually starts to do the heavy lifting.

12:27So that's number four. Number five is to add joy into the process. Whether you believe it or not, you're allowed to enjoy the process. You actually need to enjoy the process. For the longest time, I thought I had to struggle my way to success and success was hard. I need to white knuckle my way through life. You don't. You need to make it more pleasurable. Listen to the music that you love while you're working. Light a candle when you write. Pair difficult things with something that's sensory and soothing and feels good. You know, don't struggle and white knuckle your way. Just think, oh, I need to do this thing.

13:05How can I make this thing more enjoyable? Make it a ritual that feels like you're caring for yourself, not punishing yourself. That's one of the reasons why I say discipline is a form of self-love is because you never have to be disciplined to do something that's bad for you. You don't need any discipline to eat a big old pint of ice cream, right? But you probably need some discipline to make a healthy meal for yourself. And so you need discipline to do things that are good for you. You don't need discipline to do things that are not good for you. And so make this whole feeling, the whole feeling behind all of it, the enjoying of it, a ritual that feels like you're actually caring for yourself and not punishing yourself.

13:44Make it feel special. You know, pleasure isn't the enemy of discipline. It's not. Pleasure is the fuel to discipline. And so that's number five. And then number six, which is a very, very important part of it, is attach emotion to your why. You know, if you want to stick with something for a while, your goal can't just live in your head. Like you have to have it live in your heart as well. So you have to have a strong why to it. My very first mentor used to always say, if your why is strong enough, your how will reveal itself. If your why as to why you're doing something is strong enough, you'll figure out how to get it done.

14:21You'll get it done. You'll figure it out. And so ask yourself, why does this goal matter to me? Why am I doing this in the first place? Who do I become if I keep showing up for this? What part of me am I building through this process? How is this going to change my life, my spouse's wife, my children's life? Why is this thing important to me? What am I going to be able to do for my parents if I do X, Y, and Z? And you start actually developing a real why behind the goal. And then you remind yourself of that thing often. Write it somewhere that you see it, somewhere that you see it every single day.

14:54Read it every single morning. Remind yourself of it. Because the more emotionally connected that you are to your goal, the easier it becomes to act on it. I promise you that. And so you have to understand, becoming addicted to discipline isn't about turning into some robotic high performer that just white knuckles their entire way through life. It's really about how to create a life where the things that are good for you actually feel good to do. And so you need to stop chasing motivation and white knuckling your way through life and stop waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect mindset and really start to build systems that make consistency feel more natural and more enjoyable in some sort of way.

15:39And if you do this slowly, you start to become the kind of person who wants to work. I know how crazy it sounds. I was gone for an entire month in Sedona. I just got back and I was like so excited to sit down in my office and actually start to work because I've associated so much pleasure with what it is that I do. Is there still some struggles? Is it hard to do a lot of times? Yeah, absolutely. But there's much more enjoyable moments because I've associated so much pleasure with taking action because it feels like you're coming home to yourself every single time that you do and you start to realize the life that you're building is getting closer and closer and closer and so you want to start working harder.

16:18And so that is how you get yourself to become addicted to the discipline that you need to create the life that you want. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories. Tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you're out there and you wanna learn more about coaching with me outside of this podcast, I have some programs to help you learn and grow and improve outside of just this podcast where there's step-by-step processes to get you from where you are to where you need to be. If you wanna learn more about it, go to coachwithrob.com.

16:48Once again, coachwithrob.com. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way. I leave you every single episode. make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.