Get Aggressive For the Life You Want This Year

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive inspirational text messages from me throughout the week, go ahead and text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. I'll send you some videos. I'll send you some text messages throughout the week just to something to keep you going, inspire you and motivate you to be better. Today, we're going to be talking about getting aggressive for the life that you want.

0:44One thing that I see with so many people is that so many people act as if they're kind of just the bystanders in their life. They're just kind of sitting there and I'll write down my goals, I guess. And, you know, I'll probably meditate some. I'll buy a couple books on Amazon and maybe read the first seven pages of them. And I'll listen to some inspiring podcasts. And really more than anything else is people tend to, the analogy that I always give is we act with life as if we're just, we hop into a sailboat and we just hop in the sailboat and we let the winds take us where they're going to take us.

1:23We let the tides take us where they're going to take us. And one day we end up somewhere else, some island we end up or some distant land we end up. And then we're like, where am I? This isn't where I want it to be. and it's like, well, no shit, that's not where you want it to be. You didn't even step into the, you didn't even try to drive the sailboat. You're literally doing nothing. And now you're like, oh, this isn't where I wanted to be. Well, you should have done something about it. You should have gotten into the driver's seat of the sailboat and actually took the helm and said, you know what?

1:52I'm going to actually take myself somewhere. Instead of being like, well, you know, if I listen to some podcasts, then I'll be better. Oh, if I read a few pages of a book, then I'll be better. If I meditate for two minutes, then I'll be better. No, it's like, hopefully one day I'll get the life that I want. And, you know, like all of that's good. I'm not saying don't listen to podcasts. I'm not saying don't listen, you know, don't read books. Don't meditate. Don't work out. Don't write a diet on your goals. I'm saying do all of those things. All of that is good and okay. I recommend all of it.

2:25But you've actually got to really start to take it serious. Like you've got to stop fucking around at some point in time. You've got to step into the driver's seat and say, hey, listen, I'm going to take the sailboat from point A to point B. Will there be tides that are going to throw me all over the place? Yeah. Will there be storms that are going to throw me all over the place? Yeah. Are the winds not going to be the way that I want them to be sometimes? Yes, of course. But when you look at a skilled sailor, a skilled sailor could go, okay, I'm in the United States right now. I want to cross the Atlantic and I want to get over to Europe.

3:00I'm going to land in Portugal. Well, no matter what happens with the tides, what happens with the winds, if a skilled sailor decides this is, I'm going to go from here to here, then they're going to use the tides. They're going to use the winds to get them to where they want to be. And so you can either sit there and just be like, well, I'll just let the tides take me, which is where I think a lot of people really end up the way most people end up actually living their lives. And then they wake up at 45 years old and they have a midlife crisis. and they think, what the hell am I doing with my life?

3:33Well, you've just kind of been an idle bystander just watching things happen. You did what you were told to do in school. You went and followed whatever major you decided to follow in college because your parents told you to or because it sounded fun or because the fact that you were going to make a certain amount of money. If you remain the passenger, you can't get upset with where your life is and you can't get upset with where your life's going to be. Now, let me take a step back. I know why most people are bystanders because whenever I look at something, I would say like, okay, if this is the way that it is, why is it this way?

4:09Like this doesn't make sense. Why would most people not step into the driver's seat and be like, I'm going to take control of my life? I have a pretty good idea of why I think most people are is because we are taught what to do our entire childhood. We are told what to do. So as a baby, as an infant, as a child, it makes sense. Like we have to stick close to our parents for survival. It makes sense. Like we have to, they are the thing that keeps us alive. But as we get older, most of us are never taught how to be independent. And it's not our parents' fault. It's not our fault. It's just kind of the way society is.

4:47Like there was never a moment where my mother took me to the side and said, Hey, here's how you become an adult. She didn't know that she was supposed to do that. I think most people don't know they're supposed to do that. And, but I think that it would be important to be like, Hey, you're now going to be an adult. Here's what you need to know. You need to know this thing. You need to, you need to know this about finances. You need to know this. And we're not really taught. If you think about it, how to think for ourselves, we're not taught how to step into the driver's seat in our lives. And frankly, because most of the people that raised us haven't stepped into the driver's seat in their lives, but you're old enough.

5:21Now you're listening to this podcast where you can say, have I been a bystander? And do I want to remain a bystander or do I want to step into the driver's seat of this? We're not taught how to be okay with the unknown. We're not taught how to build confidence in ourselves. You know, like I was watching a documentary the other day and it was, uh, it was on this little African squirrel and this African squirrel had these babies and the babies were very hesitant in life. And they had to literally like stick to their parents for survival. They had to stick to them because they're the reason why that they're going to hopefully stay alive, right?

5:55Humans are very similar. We have to be like, we have to start dependent on someone else. But then we go to school and then we sit down and we're told, don't speak, learn this, take this test, leave when the bell rings. When you come back tomorrow, you have to have this piece of paper filled out. You have to Make sure your homework is done. And if you don't do it right, we will then reprimand you in some sort of way. And so we go from being dependent on our parents to then going in and going into the school system and being dependent on our parents and then the school system as well. And this doesn't mean knocking your parents or the school system.

6:33This should be just kind of taking a step back and be like, why in the hell are we this way?

6:43So we become dependent on our school system. And we have to listen to the superiors. We have to listen to what our teachers tell us, okay? Okay, and then we do what we're supposed to do. And we're doing this thing. We're getting good grades because we got to make sure that we get good grades so that we can get into a good college. And then we go into college. And what do we do? We do exactly what we're told. We have to make sure we get good grades. Why? Because we want to get a good job. And then we go and we get a job and we show up at this time. Okay, you have to be at work at this time. You have to leave at this time.

7:12We'll pay you this amount so that you can feed yourself. So you're dependent once again on the rat race. You have to do these things so that you can feed yourself, so that you can feed your family, so that you can stay alive. And so then we become dependent on the rat race and we become dependent on someone else in our life. And so we kind of accidentally, I don't think there's any like overlord that's looking at this and saying, hmm, I want to make stupid people that have to be dependent on me. And you know, I'm not some conspiracy theorist and saying all this stuff like, oh yeah, there's some overlord that's making sure this happens.

7:45What I'm saying is I think we unconsciously kind of go through all of these things. And then one day we wake up and we're like, this life is not the life that I want. For some of you out there listening, this happened at 50 years old. For some of you listening, this happened at 18 years old. It happens in all different areas. But we look around and we say, what I have is not what I want. And this is not what I want in 10 years from now. And we look at, you know, if you're in the rat race and you work for someone else and you look at your boss and you say, your boss, oh my gosh, that's where I'm going to be in 10 years.

8:19I don't want that life. That life looks like it sucks. I don't want to do what they do in 10 years. So you're telling me that that's the best thing that I can have in the next 10 years. And so we look at the life that we want and it's not what we want it to be. Like the life that we have, it's not what we want it to be. But we're like, you know what? I want to create the life that I want. And it's crickets. It's how the hell do I do it? I've never been taught how to do this. I don't know how to be fully independent. You know, we have to learn how to be fully independent. We're not taught these things.

8:51This is where self-education really starts to come in. It's really a relearning process. Like for me, when I finally woke up from this, I was about 19 years old and I woke up from this luckily very early in life, I think, because I started a company where I was a salesperson that was paid$0 unless I made a sale. So it was commission only. And I went, oh my gosh, this is a whole relearning process. Like I hated reading in school. I never did any homework, never studied for any exams. And I did well through it. You know, like I passed, I did well, but I was never motivated for it. And then once I realized, oh my God, if I don't change something in my life, my life is not what I want it to be.

9:31It's not going to be what I want it to be. I better start learning what I need to do to be the driver in my life. And so it's completely different than anything else that we've ever done. And it's up to you and you alone. No one's coming to save you. They're not. And so a lot of times people are kind of the bystanders just kind of sitting on the sideline like, hey, when's someone going to come and save me? They're not. No one's coming. No one cares about your success. No one cares about that. That's something that you have to step into. And this is why I think so many people are just not satisfied with their lives.

10:05is because they've been subconsciously still thinking that someone might come and save them. But let me ask you a question. You know, let's say if you have children and you listen to this episode, right? If you get a call, mom, it's an emergency. You will get in the car. You will rush to them. You will blow through stoplights. You will do everything in your power to get to your children if there's an emergency, right? Right? You would, wouldn't you? Or let's say that your child gets bullied by another kid, like a way bigger kid, and your kid falls on the floor, the bully jumps on them and starts hitting them and you're seeing them.

10:42How aggressive are you going to be to get that person off of your child? Everything that you got, right? To push them off, to whatever you can do. There's no second guessing. There's no, oh, I hope someone's going to come and save my child. No, it's like, I'm stepping up and I'm going to do it. Like my dad, I remember my my grandmother told me this story. My dad broke his leg when he was 14 years old. And my grandmother picked him up and ran with him like a half a mile to get him back to where he need to be to get into the car and to get to the hospital. He ended up being fine. And, you know, he broke his leg, but he couldn't get up.

11:16And my grandmother was just in like this moment, like this adrenaline. She picked him up. She ran like half a mile with him, got him into the car, got him to the hospital. And then, you know, they ended up putting a cast on him. Everything was okay. And then a few days later they were talking about it. They were like, that's crazy that she picked me up, pick me up again. My grandma couldn't pick them up. Why is that? It was because everything inside of her was put into picking up my dad. It was a survival thing. It required all of her. And that we hear about these stories all the time of people, you know, mothers who pick up cars off for their children somehow.

11:50What the fuck? How does that happen? That all of that is deep inside you, whether you're a parent, whether you're not, that is how aggressive that you should be towards creating the life that you want. That's how aggressive that you should be towards creating your goals. Nothing will stop you. You will find a way or you will make a way. You're not going to hurt anybody along the way, but it's like, I'm going to get the life that I want. I'm going to, if I don't have the knowledge that I need in order to get me there, then I'm going to learn it. And you might have fears and limiting beliefs that come in.

12:22But the thing about it is that you might not have the skills yet to get you to where you want to be, but you can learn the skills where you can be able to get yourself to be the person who can get the life that you want. And it's like this mentality of I'm going to succeed or I'm going to die trying. I don't know about you, but I would much rather die on the way to creating an amazing life than just sit back on the couch and just simply exist. I would rather put everything that I have into trying to create something amazing and try to feel like I brought all of my potential out in the world instead of sitting around watching Netflix and scrolling on Instagram all damn day.

12:56Because if you don't risk anything, you risk everything. You're going to have a life which you're not just really going to be excited about. You're going to get to the end of your life. And I've been lucky enough to be in a hospice before and see my grandfather and be with him on his last few days and be with him when he took his last breath. And I was there. And luckily, this was a man who did everything that he could. And he had a great life and it was amazing. And he didn't die with any regrets. But as I was sitting there and I was in the room and I was journaling, you know, there's certain days where he was there and I was journaling as he was asleep and I was there with him.

13:29And I started journaling and thinking like, I'm going to be here one day. Like hopefully, you know, he died at 96. Hopefully, I hope I get to 96 years old. That would be awesome. I mean, I have 59 more years left on this planet. If I get to 96 years old, do I want to be one of those people who gets the end of their life and wish they would have done more? You know, like I'm walking by all of these other rooms in hospice and seeing these other people. And I'm thinking like, I wonder if they did, if they had the life that they wanted to, I wonder if they're, they have any regrets. I wonder if they wish they would have done more and wish they would have had more fun or traveled more, wish they would have impacted the world more as they would have spent more time with their children, whatever it was.

14:09Like I was thinking in my mind, I wonder if any of these people are dying with regrets. And I'm sure there's a few of them. There was like 20, 30 rooms that were in there. I'm sure there's a few of them that were. But if I'm going to be there one day, I'm the only one that's in control of whether or not I create the life that I want to. And you have to realize that no one's coming to save you. So at some point in time, you've got to step up and say like, if it's going to be done, I have to be the one to do it. Like you are human, but you're also an animal. Can you bring that animal side out of you sometimes when you need it to get aggressive for it?

14:45When you start thinking about your fears and your limiting beliefs and you get into that human side of you, can you look at it and be like, no, get out of the way. I'm going to get what I want no matter what. And can you really start to put as much effort as you can into creating the life that you want? And the way I like to think about it is this, if you look at a laser and you look at a flashlight. Both of them do the exact same thing, which is send light out. That's it, right? But a flashlight is really all over the place. And so the way I like to think about it, like if I'm going to send light out, I could send it all over the place.

15:20Or if I could get a real focused effort, like a laser, a laser can cut through almost anything. And so really what I'm thinking about is depth over distance. How can I get my knowledge? How can I master like one thing in my life and find something that I'm so passionate about that I want to put my effort into, that I want to master, that I want to become world-class at? Because that's one of the coolest things about being a human is you could become world-class at almost anything that you want to. What is it that you want to become world-class at? And can you put every ounce of energy into mastering that thing, into making it a part of your life, into making a better life, and to, you know, impacting the world as much as you possibly can.

16:00Like imagine if everybody in the world just flipped a switch and said, you know what? I'm going to go and become the best version of myself. I'm going to stop making excuses. I'm going to become more self-aware of how I'm hurting myself, how I'm hurting other people. I'm going to become a better person. I'm going to meditate more. I'm going to study more. I'm going to put more effort into my mental health, my personal health, my physical health, my emotional health, my spiritual health. All of the world would be fixed. all of the problems would be fixed. But the problem is so many people are just unconsciously living their lives.

16:32It's time for you, if you're listening to this episode, to become conscious of your life and what you are doing and the path that you're going on. If the path that you're going on is not the path that you want, you need to become conscious and you say, I'm going to go on a new path. This is what I want. And you have to start getting very aggressive to create the life that you want. No one is going to come and save you. Mommy and daddy are not going to come and save you. I can tell you for sure the fucking government's not going to come and save you. you've got to step into the driver's seat and say, I'm going to take this boat from point A to point B.

16:59Will it be easy? No. Will there be tides that are going to take me all over the place? Yes. Will there be storms that are going to come through? Yes. Will there be winds that are going to be blowing the wrong way? Yes. But no matter what, I'm going to get from point A to point B and I am the one that's in control. That is how you have to get aggressive for your life. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories and tag me in at Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Once again, like I said earlier in the episode, if you live in the United States or Canada and you want to join my weekly inspirational text message group, it is only the United States of Canada because those are the only ones that we can actually text.

17:36Text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.