Help Your Loved Ones GROW FASTER Than You Ever Thought Possible

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there, you love this podcast, please do me a favor, just give us a rating and review on whatever platform you're listening to us on. Reason why is because the more positive ratings and reviews that we get, the more that those platforms actually show this podcast and present it to people who have never listened to it before, which allows us to grow and impact more people's lives. Today, I'm gonna be talking to you about how to help your loved ones grow.

0:37I'm going to teach you how to help the people around you grow into the greatest version of themselves so that they can bring out the most potential they possibly can. And I'm also going to teach you how to do it to yourself. And this one goes really well with the last episode that I just put out, which was a really big key to changing your life is to loving aspects of your life versus hating it. So this one kind of goes perfectly, dovetails perfectly with it. And I want to start off with an analogy. Okay, let's say that you, and I don't know if you've ever noticed it. I had this realization about a year ago of looking at a seed and thinking about how amazing a seed is.

1:18Like there's these little teeny tiny seeds and inside of it is this potential for this big, beautiful plant. I guess it's pretty wild if you think about it. But if you take that seed and you just leave it on your desk, nothing is gonna become of that seed because it's not put into the right environment. It's not taken care of. But if you look at like the seed of a redwood, a seed of a redwood tree is basically like the size of the case for your iPod, your AirPods. In old school, as you could tell, your AirPods, the case is that it's that size. But that thing can grow to 350 feet and it can live for over 2 ,000 years.

1:57And it all comes from this little tiny seed that's about the size of your AirPod holder. all that potential that's inside of that little teeny tiny seat, 350 feet in 2000 years. And then what really blew my mind was when Lauren got pregnant before we had the baby is we went onto YouTube and we watched a video of like, what actually happens from like conception all the way to nine months. And I remember, I remember watching the video. I was like, I don't know, 10 minutes long. And I was like, why are people not freaking out about this more? Like, if you actually understand, it's like magic how it literally goes from like this microscopic thing and then how fast it doubles and how fast it grows.

2:42And then, you know, it's got everything that it needs and that the mother can take care of. And then it's literally got all 10 fingers. And I was like, and I still look at my son and I'm like, how in the hell is this possible? All of this comes from this little tiny seed, basically, right? And so if you look at like, you know, you can look at a redwood, you can look at a baby, you can look at all of this. But if you take like a flower, for example, like let's take a flower because everybody loves flowers, a beautiful little flower. It comes from this little teeny tiny seed. And I want you to think of that seed.

3:12And I want you to think of like a gardener who's trying to grow this flower to the best of its ability, right? What's the gardener's job if he's trying to grow that seed into a beautiful flower? What's the gardener's job? It's allowing the seed to become what it's supposed to be, to give it space, to nurture it, to water it, to give it the right amount of sun, not too little sun, not too much sun, to make sure that it gets air, to basically create a space, an environment for that seed to bloom to its highest capacity. That's what a gardener's job is to do, a gardener's mission is to do. Now, I want you to think about this.

3:56What if that flower, what if that seed doesn't get all of that? It doesn't grow to its full potential, right? If you give it less water, it's not gonna grow to its full potential. If you give it less sun, it's not gonna grow to its full potential. If you give it less air, clean air, it's not gonna grow to its full potential. Now, what about this? What if the gardener happens to see the seed break through and this little tiny flower starts growing and he takes a mason jar and he flips a mason jar and puts it on top of it? What's he going to be doing? He might kill it. It might restrict its growth.

4:29It might make the flower weak. It might kill the leaves that are on the flower. It might kill the flower itself. And so the gardener's job is to nurture the seed and nurture the flower. Nothing more. Nothing else. And that's obvious, and I'm not speaking, I'm not blowing any minds, hopefully, with this. But it's to basically nurture it. To not change it, to not restrict it, but to nurture it. Now, I want you to take this analogy, and I want you to place it on your relationships. I want to talk about other people in your life first, and how to help them grow. And then I want to talk about you, and how to help yourself grow.

5:10out. In your relationships, you are the gardener in your relationships. And so how are you showing up in your relationships? Are you nurturing the people around you? Are you nurturing your relationships? Are you giving them water? Obviously not normal water. Well, hopefully your children, you're giving them water at some point in time, right? But are you watering your relationships? Are you giving them light? Are you giving them love? Are you helping those around you bloom into what they could be. Your job in a relationship with somebody else, whether it's a friend, whether it's your children, whether it's your loved one, your significant other, your family, your parents, brother, sister, your job is to help that person grow into the best that they can be.

5:58Not what you want them to be, but what they were put here to become. All too often, I see people trying to change the people around them into what they want them to be. People send me messages all the time. One of the questions I get more than anything else is, Rob, I'm really into personal growth. My husband hates personal growth. He makes fun of me for reading. How can I get him to start growing and being into personal growth? And they try to force feed personal growth down their spouse's faces. And it's like, that's not going to work. I promise you. It's going to make them hate it more. They're going to restrict their growth if they do that.

6:36And so maybe that's not their thing. Maybe something else helps them grow besides personal growth. But all too often, I see people that are trying to change the people around them into what they want them to be. They're trying to change their partner into what they want them to be. They're trying to change their children into what they want them to be versus giving them the space to grow into what they're here to be. Because who are you to say what someone else is supposed to be? And so if you talk about your significant other, are you trying to mold them and change them into what you want them to be?

7:09Have you ever thought about that for a second? Like be real with yourself. Are you trying to change your partner into what you want them to be? Are you trying to make them another version of you? A lot of times I see people that are like, I want my partner to be more like me. I want my partner to do this and do this and do this. How boring is that? To be in a relationship with someone who's exactly the same as you? I don't know about you, that sounds terrible to me, right? I don't want that. I don't want someone that's going to be the exact same as me. I'm annoying. I'm forceful sometimes in my growth and the way that I act and my need for wanting to become better.

7:42Sometimes I don't need that. Sometimes I don't want to be in a relationship with someone like that. My wife and I are very, very different people, extremely different. I remember we were new in our relationship. I was trying to force personal growth on her and she didn't like it. My wife wasn't into personal growth for the first five years of our relationship. And then there was a moment in time, there were some things that happened in her life where she was like, I want to start reading. I want to start growing. I want to start meditating. And I was like, wow, this is amazing. For the first couple years, I tried to force it on her.

8:09And I was like, maybe this just isn't her thing. Maybe it's my thing. It's not her thing. And now she has fallen in love with it. And so I tried to back away and be like, hey, maybe that's not her thing. I'm just going to try to be a gardener and just try to help her grow into who she wants to be. And maybe personal growth is my thing. And maybe she's got something else that's her way of growing. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. So are you trying to grow the people around you? Are you trying to change the people around you? How are you showing up for them? Are you more of a gardener or are you more forcing?

8:43You know, if you think about like one of the things I see all the time too, with people who I've coached over years, because I tend to coach adults who have problems with their parents from childhood, right? That tends to be what I coach more than anything else. I see this all the time with parents and their children, right? I'm sure a good amount of you had parents that were like this. A good amount of you had parents who tried to get you to be what they wanted you to be, whether that was consciously or unconsciously. And they're like, I want you to do this. I want you to go to school for this.

9:17I want you to play these sports. I don't want you to play these sports. I want you to be this way. I don't want you to be this way. And they try to make you into what they want you to be versus nurturing your own wants, your own needs and your own desires in life. And then you grow up and you've got some issues because of that. Now you got to work through those. Many, many people have this and it's not abnormal, that's for sure. And so that might be something that you had when you were a child. What about you with your children? If you're listening to me and you have children, how do you treat them?

9:46Are you restricting their growth? Let's have a coming to God moment. But how are you as a parent? If they show interest in something, how do you act? Are you showing up for that interest? If they want to play a sport that you hate, are you like, no, definitely not? Or are you like, okay, well, they seem interested in that. Let's try to deepen this interest. Are you helping them deepen their interest? Or are you restricting them? Are you trying to make them go to the school that you want them to go to? To play the sports that you want them to play? To not play the sports you don't want them to play?

10:17to go and get a degree in what you think they should do? Are you trying to make them into what you want them to be? Or are you wanting to help them grow into what they're here to be? I had a friend of mine where this really opened up. It was really eye-opening for me. And my friend of mine, they were searching through the attic of his grandpa's house, grandma and grandpa's house. They were searching through the attic and they had lived there for like 50 years. And they found these beautiful paintings and they looked at these paintings and they brought the paintings down and they're like, hey grandpa, whose are these?

10:50Like we've never seen these paintings before. And his grandfather painted them when he was like really young, like a teenager. And when he was really young, he was in love with painting. He loved it. It was like the thing he loved most in this world. And his father just hated the fact that he painted. He told him it was stupid. He told him that losers paint. He said, you'll never be successful as a painter. You've got to go and get your hands dirty and you've got to become an engineer and you've got to do this. and you've got to do that. And his father never let him paint. And so he never painted again for like 50 years, 60 years, I think is what it was.

11:26And then, so he's like, my friend was like, well, why don't we just, have you ever thought about painting again? He's like, yeah, I think about all the time. And so my friend just got him a bunch of painting supplies and his grandfather just went from watching TV and sitting on the couch and just, you know, slowly withering away. he started painting again and he started having more energy and he said it was like a different person. He came alive from doing it. So it's like, that's an example of how a parent can fully restrict the growth of their child and how if you rediscover the thing that you really want to do, can make you come alive again.

12:02I don't know about you. I never want to do that to someone that I love. I don't know why somebody would do that, but so many of us are doing that in little teeny tiny ways, not just fully restricting something that they love, but we also do it in really teeny tiny ways, right? It's like little teeny tiny restrictions. These little teeny tiny restrictions. It's not like, oh, you can't play this sport, but it's other little teeny tiny things. Oh, they start to come alive inside from this one thing. We're like, no, don't do that. Make fun of this one thing. It's like death by a thousand cuts, right?

12:36Maybe your son comes to you and he's like, hey, I really want to go into a play. And you're like, nah, plays are stupid. It's just like a side thing. Like maybe you don't like plays, but your son wants to get into plays and you're like, you should play football instead. I don't do that. It's like these little teeny tiny restrictions. It's like death by a thousand cuts. Our job is to, with the people around us, is to nurture them to become who they are supposed to become. And how do you know what they're supposed to become? Start supposed to become, is to start paying attention to their interests.

13:08Start paying attention to what gives them energy. What makes them feel like they're alive inside. And so that's how you nurture the people that you love. Now let's talk about you for a second. How are the people around you, the people that you surround yourself with, are they nurturing? Are they supportive? You know, when you pick up a new hobby, what do they say? When you go for a big goal, what do they say? How do they react? When you succeed, you have a big accomplishment or a mini accomplishment. How do they respond? Are they on your side? Do they try to poke holes in your successes? Are they allowing you to bloom into who you're supposed to be?

13:48Or are they trying to change you or restrict you into who they want you to be? If the flower doesn't grow, you don't change the flower. You change the environment. And so for some of you, it might be that the environment that you're in right now, the people that you surround yourself with, aren't really conducive to you growing. And so maybe the problem with your growth or your lack of growth isn't fully you. Maybe it is also your environment. Maybe it's your gardeners. How do they treat you? Who's on your side 100 %? Who's not? It's something to really think about. If somebody is restricting you, if somebody's holding you back, if somebody's trying to change you, maybe it's time to let them go.

14:35Maybe it's time to spend less time with them so that you can put yourself into an environment that helps you grow. So that you can, you could still love them from afar. You can still love that person. You don't have to just never see them again, but it's like, you know what? I'm going to put myself into an environment that helps me grow. I was in Scottsdale this past weekend and I was out there at a mastermind and an event with my VP of operations. And when we were in Scottsdale, she realized that there's so many, like she comes from, She went to school. She went to the corporate world. She got her master's in business.

15:08But she's never really been surrounded by entrepreneurs. Since I've been 19, and I've been kind of surrounded by entrepreneurs. So this environment's just always been that way. We went to Scottsdale, and she's like, this is so amazing. So many great entrepreneurs live in Scottsdale. She's like, I wonder if my husband would want to move here for like three months. So I can just meet new people. I can just be surrounded. I can just change my environment. She's like, because I live in San Antonio and there's, I don't know a whole lot of people out there that are learning and growing and trying to change themselves.

15:37And I'm not surrounded by all these entrepreneurs. I wonder how I would change if I put myself in a different environment. I was like, yeah, you should try it out. So she's looking at Airbnb. She's trying to talk her husband into wanting to go out there for like a month, two months, three months, then just see what it would be like to meet new people who are into what she's into, into growing businesses. And so it's really interesting to look at. Think about that. She goes from a place where she doesn't know many entrepreneurs. It's not a huge amount of growth where she's been most of her entire life to a brand new place, meet new people, be surrounded by people who make her think bigger and grow.

16:13The change in her environment is going to help her grow. What about you? Is your environment helping you grow? Is it holding you back? How can you get more gardeners that are in your corner? People that love you, that support you, people that want the best for you, people that cheer you on. I believe that we all have a purpose in life. Some of us are here to just be amazing parents and being the best parents who possibly can be. Some of us are healers. Some of us are teachers. Some of us are artists. Some of us are people that are the light that lead the way of other people. I want you to think of two things from today's episode.

16:53Number one, am I showing up for those that I love as a gardener? Am I trying to help them grow? Am I trying to create an environment where I'm not trying to change them? Am I trying to help them grow to their full potential? Or am I stomping on flowers? That's the first thing I want you to think about. The second thing is what does my environment look like? And is my environment going to help me grow into my full potential? And if not, what do I need to change about my environment? Do we need to change the people in my environment? Do I need to change the city and just go to a completely different place, just like that seed, we are all filled with potential.

17:29And our job here is to try to live up to that potential. But also in the relationships that we have to be there for other people to allow them to grow into their full potential as well. If you do that, you're gonna have a really good life with really good relationships and great people around you. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor. Share it on your Instagram stories right now. Tag me in at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. So the greatest way to say thanks for the podcast is just share it.

18:01That also allows us to impact more people's lives and hopefully continue to change the world. So if you do that for me, I'd greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission. Make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.