How Perfectionism Destroys Your Potential

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host Rob dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. I put out episodes for free four times a week to help you learn and grow and improve yourself. So if you want a better life and you know that to have a better life, you need to work on yourself, hit that subscribe button. Let's join the journey together. Today, I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm gonna shoot straight. Your perfectionism is ruining your life. It's destroying your productivity. But today, I actually want to talk about why perfectionism is destroying the productivity that you're trying to create and have in your life to get you from where you are to where you want to be later on.

0:46Perfectionism is not real. People always say they're a perfectionist and I'm like, cool, join the club. We all say that we're perfectionists in some sort of way, but it's not real. Why do I say that? Because perfectionism is a mask, a quote mask, unquote, that we wear to cover up some sort of fear that we have in our life. And that's really what it is, is if you think you're a perfectionist, the truth of the matter is that you are afraid of something. You're really afraid of being judged or putting yourself out there or not being enough or people talking shit or not being respected or not getting the love that you want or people saying no to you.

1:23That's what you're afraid of. Perfectionism is just the mask that you wear that you hide behind because, oh, it's not perfect yet. It could always be better. I could always improve. I haven't decided, I haven't put my art out there in the world because it's not perfect. If you're an artist and you haven't shown anybody, you haven't taken a picture and put it on Instagram because it's not perfect yet, you are a perfectionist. Really what you're afraid of is somebody looking at your art and saying that's ugly or looking and saying, oh my gosh, you're charging$500 for that? I wouldn't pay$5 for that.

1:56and you're afraid of haters and you're afraid of people judging and you're afraid of trying something and failing or trying it and succeeding and not know what comes with that success. So you say, it's not perfect yet. I'm a perfectionist and we all do this, but I'm here to tell you that perfectionism is not real. And the reason why it's killing your productivity is because you're not starting. What is that you want to do because you're waiting for the perfect moment, because you're waiting to be better, because you're waiting for your art to be perfect because you're waiting for your music to be perfect.

2:26You're waiting for it to be perfect before you do anything. And it's killing your productivity because you're not taking good steps in the right direction to follow this purpose that you have or you feel like you have in this life. And I'm going to tell you this. It's a quote that I live by is we all have some sort of purpose or passion of something that we want to do in this world. And you probably know what it is, but you've been lying to yourself and say you don't know, you're not sure. But if you don't know what it is. You can always go on a search to try to discover what it is. And one of the things that, of course, for a long time, you've heard me say this is it's okay not to know what your purpose is, but it's not okay to not wake up every single day and not be in pursuit to find what that purpose is.

3:07When you do find your purpose, the thing that I do know is that if you don't follow your purpose in life, if you find your purpose and you don't follow it, not following your purpose will destroy you. So there's this thing that you're meant to do in this world and not doing the thing that you're meant to do will destroy you. It's destroying your productivity of taking this action and being a musician or being a singer or, you know, making Instagram videos on mindset to help people improve themselves, become motivational speaker, be a painter, whatever it is. And you're not taking action because it's not the right time.

3:40And meanwhile, there's somebody else out there who is less talented than you, who has less skill than you, who's getting ahead of you simply because they're taking action and you're not. So what I always say is don't strive for perfection. Don't try to be perfect. Try to be better. Don't strive for perfection. Strive for progress. Just a little bit better every single day. How can I be 1 % better today when my head hits the bed and my pillow than I was when I woke up this morning? And just getting something done is better than continuing to work on it over and over and over and over again because it's not perfect.

4:17I like to think of it this way. Done is better than perfect. As far as time goes, I'd rather get something 90 % done than 100 % done because that 90%, if you're an artist, you make that art and it's 90 % perfect, you're done. But that extra 10 % can take you the rest of your life. So wouldn't you rather just get that painting out there, try it out, see what it feels like to have an art gallery with your stuff in it versus going, oh, it's not perfect yet. It needs an extra 10%. And that 10 % taking you another 20 years to finish 10%, that little 10 % that has to be perfect and nothing will ever be perfect in this world.

4:51That little teeny tiny bit will take you 20 years. Let's just get it out there. Just get it out. Just put it out there. One of the things that really helped me with my idea of perfectionism is actually, if you're watching this video can see it. It's my tattoo that's on my left arm. And so my tattoo is actually my dad's handwriting from a letter that he wrote my sister about a year and a half before he passed away. And it says, live your life with courage, love, and laughter. And I had never had a tattoo before. It was my very first tattoo. And if you've ever gotten a tattoo, what you realize is that if it's not like on the inside of my arm, I can't see it super well.

5:28So I was looking at it in the mirror. So I was looking in the mirror and I got, I was like, okay, that looks good. Get it on me. All of that stuff. Next morning I wake up, my girlfriend at the time, my wife now takes a picture of the, my arm and I see it from somebody else's point of view. And I was like, I can hate this. I don't like it. It's not perfect. Cause I was so used to seeing people with like perfect tattoos lined up. Perfect. And script was perfect. And I saw my tattoo and I was like, it's literally my dad's handwriting from a letter just blown up bigger on my arm. I was like, it's a mess.

5:59And we will be right back. And now back to the show. And I was like struggling with it because it wasn't perfect. And then what was cool about it is it wasn't perfect, but then people started seeing it. And then we say, what is that? And I tell them the story and they'd be like, oh my God, I love how it's not perfect. I love how it's your dad's handwriting. I love how his G's look a little bit different. Like it's a cool, everyone always compliments the way that he wrote his G's. They look like S's almost. And what I realized is people started falling in love with the aspect of the tattoo that wasn't perfect.

6:33And I was like, man, maybe people will love different aspects of me and what I create if it's not as perfect. And so when I started the podcast, I started the podcast and it was three episodes a week and I was cutting out all of the ums. I was cutting out the uhs. I was cutting out the filler words. I was cutting out the parts where I screw up words, which you've been listening to a podcast for a while, you know, I've got everything, right? And I was cutting it all out, trying to make it perfect. And it took up so much time and I just ran out of time and I was like, screw it. I'm just going to post it.

7:01And I started getting these messages of, Hey man, I love your podcast because you just sound so normal. You just sound like a human. I feel like I'm sitting down in a living room with you and we're just having a conversation. It's not, it's not perfect. Like all of the other podcasts that are out there. I was like, Oh my God, people are falling in love with the aspect of not being perfect. So I had my tattoo and I had the podcast, both showing me that people didn't want perfection, but I thought I needed to be perfect in many ways to be accepted. And I realized people accept imperfection more than they accept perfection.

7:33And so the difference in getting the life that you want is not having to get everything to be perfect. It's not getting your entire to-do list done. It's, can you check off the one most important thing of the day? Right? Like instead of, you can't be perfect and get your entire to-do list done. If you're like me, your to-do list is like 20 things long. I don't have that much time in a day, but can I get my most important things done? So I feel like I took a step forward. So I feel like I got something done that was important. You know, you could take your entire to-do list. And I always recommend you take your entire to-do list.

8:06You take number one, number two, number three, you rank them. What's your most important thing? Your second most important thing, your third most important thing. You take a white three by five card. You write them down. Number one, is this? Number two, is this? Number three, is this? You put in your back pocket and that's all that you want to focus on today. You really have to start to flip it from perfectionism to you just have to have a get done attitude. Stop thinking so much. Start doing. You'll never be fully ready for anything. There will never be a perfect time. And you don't have to believe in yourself in order to take action.

8:33I don't know who kind of put into people's minds that in order to take action, you have to be perfect. I'm fully aware that I'm going to mess things up. You have to learn to be okay with messing things up, right? Every day, multiple times a day. Being a human is being imperfect. And the only imperfection that a human has is in the imperfection. I want to get the messaging out every single day that it's okay to screw up. It's okay to have flaws. The last thing that I want is for someone to listen to this podcast and be like, that guy's perfect. I'll never be where he is. No, I want someone to look at me and go, yeah, that guy's, you know, trying, he's trying his best.

9:10I want to try my best, at least. He's not perfect, but neither am I. so maybe I could go ahead and go for it. Right? If I'm being truly fully 100 % honest, perfectionism is usually just a case of a frail ego. That's what it is. It's us trying to protect ourself from our insecurities coming to the surface. You know, so it's like, you look there and you're like, well, I don't, I don't want to put myself out there because it's not perfect. When in reality, we're just afraid of someone saying no to us or saying that our stuff isn't good enough and it hurting our feelings. That's what we're actually afraid of.

9:43We're not afraid of the imperfection. We're afraid of somebody hurting our feelings. We're afraid of not being accepted. We're afraid of people saying something bad to us. Nothing in this world is perfect. Like if you go look at a tree, have you ever looked at a tree and been like, that's not perfectly straight. That's an ugly tree. Oh, that tree right there. That's a fat tree. Oh, that tree right there. That's a stupid branch. No, it's like you look at a tree and the perfectionism is in the crazy, twisted, fat branches and not being straight. There are no straight lines in this world. The only straight lines that people really that exist in this world are created by humans.

10:18Nature is not perfect, but it is perfect in the design of it. There's no such thing as perfection. So go fuck some things up, buttercup. That's the only way that you're going to improve. Incorrect action is better than no action at all because you can take incorrect action. You at least get some feedback on what works and what doesn't work and how you can improve. You can't get better unless you mess things up. Like you're going to have to fail. You're going to have to fail. You're going to have to fail. Failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is a part of success. So go out there and fuck up as much as you can so you can learn what you shouldn't do so you can learn what you should do.

10:52Because enough incorrect action, you will uncover what you need to do in order to take correct action. So get going. Stop listening to me. Go out there and get some shit done. That's what we got for you today. Take some action. Who cares what people think about you? Get out there and do it. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. and if you love this episode, please share it on Instagram and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. With that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.