How to Get Your Life Together in 4 Steps

0:06Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn who you are so that you can grow yourself, you can improve yourself, because if you can improve yourself, you can improve your life. And so I've been putting out episodes three to four times a week, every single week for the past almost 10 years now. So if you wanna improve yourself, subscribe, join the journey. Today, I'm gonna be talking about how to get your life together in four simple steps.

0:38and let's be real everybody, life is a lot. It's all over the place. It can feel messy, it can feel overwhelming, it can feel amazing, it can feel like it's slipping through your fingers, you can feel like you're spinning your wheels and I've been in the place personally multiple times of sitting there and thinking, holy shit, I need to get my life together and I've been in a one-bedroom apartment with no furniture, my mattress on the floor, eating pasta from Walmart for two months straight in order to stay alive and thought to myself, oh my God, I need to do something different. I need to get my life together.

1:17And so I'm going to take you through the most practical and fundamental steps of no matter where you are to kind of reset everything for you. And what I'm going to cover today is not rocket science. This should be the fundamentals and you should master the fundamentals before you try to add more advanced stuff to your life. And so let's dive into it. The first thing that you want to start with is you want to start with clarity. You want to define what getting your life together means to you. If I asked every person listening to this right now, what does that mean to you to get your life together?

1:51Everyone's going to have different answers. So the first step is understanding what does together look like for you specifically, because everybody thinks something different. And oftentimes what we do is we chase societal expectations, you know, having the perfect career, owning a home, reaching a certain income without taking a step back and like asking ourselves what truly matters to me. And what happens is this tends to create a disconnect that will make people start to lead to frustration and burnout. That's why so many people have a midlife crisis, but what does it mean to you? What is it that you want is the important thing?

2:31Not what you were taught was important by your parents, not what society told you you should do, not what you need to do so that you can keep up with the Joneses. What do you want in your life? You cannot hit a target that you cannot see. And so what you want to do is you want to take a step back. If we're going to start to create a new life, if we're going to start to get our life quote unquote together, let's figure out what together means. So the first thing I want to talk about is you as a person and to reflect on your values. Ask yourself, what kind of person do I want to be? If you're listening, this is probably an aspect of you.

3:07It's like, hey, I like different parts of myself and there's also parts of myself I'm not necessarily a fan of. Well, if that's the case, what kind of person do I want to be? Be is the first thing to concentrate on before do? Who do I need to be before? What do I need to do? And so list out with pen and paper your top five values. Whatever it is your values might be. Maybe it's integrity that you want to focus on. Being responsible. Being somebody that other people can rely on. Maybe gratitude is a value of yours. Compassion. Being resilient. Having courage. Being kind to others. Patience. humility, growth, discipline, accountability, authenticity, generosity.

3:55What does it mean to you? Which ones do you want? What are your top five values? If you were to say, these are the pillars that build me from this moment forward. Is it empathy? Is it being adaptable? Is it perseverance, curiosity, health, love. Like what are the five? If you were to think about building the perfect version of you, what are the five values that you need to have in your life? And what do each of those mean to you? Clearly define what they mean to you and what they look like in your life. So after you figure out these five pillars of who you need to be, you've got to ask yourself the question, are your current choices supporting those values values or are they pulling you in the opposite direction?

4:41And that's what you need to focus on is how can I make sure that if those are my five pillars of me and who I want to be, that every action that I take is in the direction of those five pillars in some way. So that's who do I need to be? That's inside of you. Then what I want you to do is I want you to focus outside of you and answer the questions that hit home for you. Like, what do you want outside of you? It might be more happiness, more love. Maybe you want financial stability. Maybe you want to be ridiculously wealthy. Maybe you want to focus on your wellness and your health and your peace of mind.

5:15And maybe you want to focus on your purpose. Maybe you want to find more meaning in your life. Maybe you want to be really successful in your career or really successful in your business. Maybe you want to start a business. Maybe you want to be somebody who is known for being really strong in relationships. Maybe it's somebody who is really strong in their personal growth. Maybe you want more freedom. What does freedom mean to you? Maybe you want more independence. What does that mean to you? Maybe you want to travel all of the time. What do you want outside of you? What adventures do you want to go on?

5:49What about the security that you have in your life and safety? What do you want that to look like? What would being creative mean to you? What does you and your full self-expression look like? Maybe you're looking for more of a sense of belonging. Maybe you want more recognition and you want to achieve more things. What do you want to achieve? Maybe you want more balance between your work and your life. Maybe you want to start helping others more, start volunteering, start a foundation in some sort of way. Maybe you want more confidence. Maybe you want more spiritual connection. Maybe you want more faith in your life.

6:25Maybe you want to create some sort of legacy and impact. What would that look like? And so what I want you to do is I want you to figure out those things that you need, that you want inside of you. And I want you to clear what those things you want outside of you as well, because nothing else matters. There's no reason to take any action towards something if we don't know what the something that we're trying to take action towards is. And then what you want to do is you want to create your vision from this. So this is a thing that one of my first mentors had me work through when I was really young, probably 20 years old.

6:55and he said, I want you to take me through your perfect Tuesday. I was like, what does that mean? He's like, perfect Tuesday. Cause Tuesdays, they're just usually normal days, right? Like Monday, people are not looking forward to it. Thursday is almost Friday. Friday is Friday. It's almost the weekend. The weekend is this. So it's like Tuesday, just kind of Tuesdays and Wednesdays kind of just a normal day, but let's just take Tuesday. What's your perfect Tuesday? What's your ideal day look like? And what you do is you describe the day that you want and you get really, really specific. And we will be right back.

7:27And now back to the show. What time do you wake up? What time do you go to bed? What does your morning routine look like? Who do you spend time with? How do you spend your time? Do you exercise? What do you eat? How do you talk to people? Who do you surround yourself with? And you build out this entire day as if from the moment you wake up to the moment that you go to bed, every single aspect of this person, now this becomes your vision of what is it you're working towards. So you've got the vision of what you're working towards. You've got who you need to be. You've got what you need to do. You've got everything inside of you.

7:57You've got everything outside of you. Now we need to start going towards that direction. So that's number one is to get very clear on what it is that you want. You cannot hit a target that you cannot see. The second thing I want you to do is reframe your mindset and to challenge the self-limiting beliefs that are in the way of you getting that thing that you want, that life that you're working towards. If you're looking at that and you're going, oh my God, that looks amazing. That perfect Tuesday looks amazing. Those values look amazing. Creating that life, that adventure, everything that I put down on a piece of paper looks like it'd be an amazing life.

8:29But I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I'm smart enough. I don't know if I'm good enough. Maybe I don't deserve success. I'm afraid of failure. What if I run out of money? Those are all of the self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back from creating that life. I feel like I say this 50 % of the episodes that we talk about here, but sometimes you need to hear something 2000 times before you actually do it. But you really need to start challenging the beliefs that you have about yourself. You are the only thing that's in your way. You are the only one that is stopping you. You are the only one in this world who is limiting all of the amazing things that you could do in your life and the amazing life that you could have.

9:09You are the problem in your life. I am the problem in my life. We are all the problems in our own life. So how do we get out of our own way? How do we stop limiting ourself? How do we stop self-sabotaging? And so we need to figure out what beliefs we have about ourself that are the barriers to creating this life that we want. Your mindset is the lens that you view the world through. So if you consistently tell yourself, I'll never figure this out. I'm too old. I'm too young. I'm too far behind. I'm not smart enough, not pretty enough. I've, you know, people don't like me. I'm too shy for all of this.

9:42I'm an introvert. This won't work. I'm an extrovert. This won't work. All of those thoughts that you have about yourself shape your entire reality. And some of them will help you getting to the life that you want to create. And some of them are the biggest roadblocks that are in the way of you getting to that life that you're trying to create. The good news, as simple as it sounds, you can just start saying something different to yourself. So you have to change the way that you speak to yourself. Stop saying, I can't so damn much. You can. And if you can't do it right now, figure out how to do it.

10:19You're the one that's building this life. It's got to be more important to you. Instead of saying, I can't, say, I will figure it out. Or instead of saying, I can't, say, I haven't done it yet, but I will do it. Change the way that you speak to yourself. Stop limiting yourself so much. all of these mental roadblocks, we got to get them out of the way. So that's number two. Number three is start building foundational habits in your life. Like the foundational ones, ones of the most importance for you. These small little actions compounded over time make massive results in your life. The quality of your life right now is a direct reflection of your daily habits.

11:00The quality of your life in the future is a direct reflection of the daily habits that you will do from this moment forward. If you want lasting change, you have to focus on foundational habits that change every other area of your life. And so there's real simple things like, what about your sleep? Are you getting enough sleep? If you're not getting enough sleep, how are you going to be able to put a hundred percent into the action that you need to take to change your life? It's so simple, but poor sleep affects everything. Your mood, your energy, your thoughts, your decision-making, the amount of effort that you put towards creating the life that you want.

11:39So sleep, really big habit. Nutrition, really big habit. Don't overcomplicate it. Eat more foods. This is the way I look at it. I only eat something that was once alive. That's it. If it comes in a box, 99.9 % of the time, it wasn't alive. I do not have processed food. I do not have processed sugar. Why? Because all of that is just a whole bunch of chemicals that make me feel like shit and slow me down and get in the way of me creating the life that I want because I'm slowed down. And so like nutrition, don't overcomplicate it. Eat more whole foods, drink more water. Don't have so much processed foods, so much processed sugar.

12:23Simple, right? What about movement? Whether you're walking, whether it's yoga, lifting weights, finding some form of movement is non-negotiable. So many people are just stuck and don't move and they lay in their bed and then they wake up and they drink their coffee and they sit down and they drink their coffee and then they get changed and they go and they sit in their car and then they go to the office and they sit down for eight hours and then they go to their car and they sit down again and then they go home and they sit in front of their TV. Like your body wasn't made to sit and do nothing.

12:56It was made to move. And the thing that she'll notice is as you have more movement in your life, more of a movement practice, you will have more energy and you will be able to take more energy and be more productive and take more action, create the life that you want. So that's a big thing. Next thing that's a really big thing to think about as far as your habits is your time management. It's wild to me. I was just on a call a couple of weeks ago with a program that I run called Mindset University. And I was, we were talking about things that people need to change. And like 90 % of the people were saying they're terrible with time management.

13:28I'm like, what? Like you have to get better with time management. You have to start scheduling things out. If you're going to, you're going to plan out the life that you want. You've got to be intentional. Wake up in the morning and say, this is what my day is going to look like. You don't have to spend two hours planning out your day, but like put the most important things in, put your workout in as well around it. Put your work in, put your spending time with your family, put your meditation or reading, put all of those things in your calendar. And then the other thing that I recommend, it's a really big, tiny little habit that I think everybody should do, but don't, don't really do enough is have some form of a morning mindset priming practice.

14:05And this is basically five minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes up to you where you are sitting down and you're setting your internal GPS for how you want to feel and act throughout the day. Instead of just flying into your day, start off with something that is massively intentional. It's something that I've been doing for years, and it's me sitting down and deciding and committing to who I want to be today. And so I'm not letting my old mindset run the show. I'm not letting my old thoughts run the show. I'm not letting my old self-limiting beliefs run the show. I'm not letting my fears run the show.

14:47And if I'm not intentional, they always sneak their way back into my day. And so I develop a routine to actually be able to create the mindset that I want throughout the day. I'm priming myself to be the absolute best that I can be. And so figure out what that looks like to you. You know, I created a little mini lesson that you can get for free if you want. If you go to morningpriming.com, it's just a video in a worksheet that shows you how to create your own morning priming. I don't have time to go into this one, this episode, but create some form of a priming routine for like being intentional.

15:22This is how I want to feel. That's the important part of it. Once again, you can go to morningpriming.com and you can get it free if you want to. So that's number three. And number four is to strengthen your relationships. Who you surround yourself with. I feel like a broken record. It really freaking matters. The people in your life significantly impact your mental health, your emotional well-being. If you're going to get your life together, you need some form of a support system that uplifts you, that aligns you, and that helps you grow and doesn't hold you back. And so I would recommend if you're really trying to get your life together, evaluate your current relationships.

16:05you know are there people in your life who drain your energy or make you feel small or might question your capabilities in some sort of way if there are can you maybe hang out with them less that'd be pretty good because you don't understand like i don't think people really really understand they hear it all the time i say it all the time how much the people you surround yourself with make you who you are. And so are there people in your life who drain your energy and make you feel small? And are there people in your life who support you in your goals and encourage you to be your best self? Can you hang out more with them?

16:44Do you need to find more people? You know, it's okay to set boundaries and distance yourself from toxic people. It's not selfish at all. It's really, really important for your well-being. And so be intentional about spending time with people who inspire you, who make you want to be better, who energize you. Get better at being a person that is great to be in a relationship with. Whether that's a better, I want you to be a better boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse or brother, sister, mother, father, friend. Like I always hear people talk about changing the people that they are in relationships with, but very rarely do I hear people talk about improving who you are in those relationships.

17:29So how can you get better people around you? And then how can you be better to the people around you? The thing that I have found is that the more that you show up for your people in your life, the more that they will show up for you. And that's just the way that it goes. And so it's like, yeah, I do recommend that you surround yourself with the right people, but I do recommend that you become better of a person to be in a relationship with, whether that's a romantic relationship, a familial relationship, a friendship, all of those things. So if your circle kind of feels like it's lacking, maybe you can join some local communities where you can meet new people.

18:08Maybe you can find some internet-based groups or attend personal development conferences or workshops and meet like-minded people. And so these are the four steps to really start to shift and get your life together. You know, getting your life together isn't just like a one-time project. It's a lifelong process and it changes over time and it grows over time. You've got to learn, you've got to grow, you've got to adjust. And really just be patient with yourself and remember progress is way more important than perfection. This is all about small, consistent daily actions that compound over time.

18:43And over time, they lead to massive changes in your life. And so what I want you to understand is like, start with where you are. Like where you are is okay. Use whatever it is that you have. And then just focus on taking one step at a time. Life doesn't have to be perfect. And so focus on it. You can make changes anytime that you want to. You got this. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in at RobDowJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I'm sure there's people who you're connected with. that need to get their life togethers.

19:14So maybe they could hear this episode and it'll start to change your life as well. And so if you would do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. Once again, if you wanna download and see the worksheets and the mini lesson on how to create a morning priming routine, go to morningpriming.com. Once again, morningpriming.com. And once again, with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.