How To Improve Your Decision Making

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another one of these episodes. We put them out four times a week for free for you to improve your life. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive inspirational text messages from me directly to your cell phone to brighten up your day sporadically throughout the week, text me right now. 1-512-580-9305. Once again, 1-512-580-9305. Today, I'm going to talk to you about how to make better choices.

0:41As a human, especially now, we have so many choices. What do we do? What's the right choice? And so what we need to do is we need to figure out how can we make choices that are better for what we want, for the life we're trying to create. And after we make those choices, how do we stand firmly in those choices versus getting like buyer's remorse or, oh my God, did I make the wrong decision? You start questioning yourself. Okay. So I'm going to give you a couple different tips to help you with that. The first one is to find your North Star. I think this is really important and this is something that people don't speak about enough.

1:14And I think it might be one of the most important things that you ever do, which is actually create a plan of what you want your life to be so that you can find every single action that you take, every decision that you make, if it is in alignment with what it is that you're trying to create. And so what you want to do is you want to find your North star of what it is that you're doing, where you're going, what you're trying to create, and then filter all of your decisions through that. So like, where do you want to be in your life? If you fast forward five years or 20 years, what do you want your life to look like?

1:49Maybe most important is what do you want to dedicate your life to? You want to create this North star and then all decisions filter through that North star. And if it's just, I want to make more money, that's not what you want. That's not a North Star. That's just, you know, money is just a byproduct of what you do along the way of this journey to your North Star. Because there's a million ways to make a million dollars, I always say. Like for me, like I'm good at a few things. Like I'm really good in sales because I've been in sales for a long time. I've trained over 2 ,000 sales reps. I know a lot about watches.

2:21I love watches. I know a lot about sports. I know a lot about these things. And I could, sure, I could probably start a podcast on sports if I wanted to. I could probably go buy and resell watches and make a lot of money doing that. I could probably be a sales coach if I wanted to do that. I could probably make great money doing any of those things, but I don't want to do that. That's just not what I want to do. Like many times people have been like, Rob, you've been podcasting for so long. Why don't you create a course on podcasting? It's because like, I don't want to. I'm not passionate about teaching other people to grow a podcast.

2:54Nothing else makes me come alive as much as mindset and understanding what makes people tick and then teaching that to other people. That is the thing that I love the most. And so what you want to do is you want to follow your energy for that. When I look at like teaching people sales, is that what I want to do? Not really. What does my energy say? My energy is saying no. Do I want to buy and resell watches? No, not really. Follow my energy. My energy is not rich in that one. Do I want to start a sports podcast or a sports blog? Not really much energy there. Do I want to help people with their mindset?

3:30Fuck yes, that's what it is. Okay, cool. I'm following my energy. And I'm going to limit my choices based off of what it is that I think I might want to do. And then what it comes down to is if it's not in my North Star, it's a no. It's a no. It's just easy. And get better at saying no. Like back in the day, it was actually crazy. Yesterday, we ended up getting a new house. and on the way back from getting the keys to the house, I stopped in at a Starbucks that I haven't been in in a very long time. I haven't been there probably eight years. And the last time I was there was when I made the decision to shut down my Amazon company.

4:06This was eight and a half years ago. I made the decision to shut down my Amazon business and to go fully 100 % into podcasting, into coaching. And it was crazy to think, oh my God, I just closed on this house, which I absolutely love. It's my dream house. I'll probably never leave that place. And I was able to purchase it because I followed my passion and I followed the thing. And I was in the Starbucks where I made the decision to go 100 % into coaching, into podcasting and to get out of running an Amazon business. And it was just a great, it was like the time kind of warped. And I was sitting there, I was like, man, this is wild.

4:42I'm so glad that I made that decision because it's created the life that I have now. And so maybe for you, like being a great parent is your North Star. Being the best parent you could possibly be is your North Star. Well, then filter all of your decisions through that. Maybe you get a job offer making double what you're making right now. Oh my God, that's amazing. But you have to travel for half of the month. Okay, you'd be away from your children in their early years. Does that line up with your North Star? You might make more money, but you'd be away from your children in their formative years.

5:20Would you rather have more money or would you rather have more time with your children? Okay, well, that makes it really easy. Or I guess maybe not really easy. It makes it easier if you're North Stars. I want to be the best parent that I possibly can be. And if you think, okay, well, being the best parent I possibly can be means I want to be with my children as much as possible. Okay, well, then even though I'm going to make twice as much as I am now, I'm going have half the amount of time that I have right now with my children. I don't know if this lines up with my North Star. That will help you make better decisions, but it will also give you more confidence in your decision-making after you make them.

5:57So you don't constantly go back to, oh, did I make the right choice? Did I screw up? Did I do the wrong thing? It's like, no, my North Star is being the best parent, spend as much time as I possibly can with my children in their formative years. I made the right choice. If it lines up with your North Star, you made the right choice. So that's the first thing. Find your North Star. The second thing is to check in with your gut. You've probably heard the phrase before trusting your gut, right? Your gut feeling has, you get a gut feeling about something or you get a gut feeling about someone. Trusting your gut feeling can seem like, ooh, and mystical and very unscientific in decision-making.

6:36But you know I love science and going into it and I also love studies about this stuff. Recent research and neuroscience show that this isn't just a theory, it's actually a fact. It turns out that your gut feeling or your intuition might actually be a really powerful tool when you make decisions, especially when it comes to assessing situations or people. And so we're often taught like, hey, we need to rely on facts. We need to rely on your intellect and we need to make rational decisions, right? As if our emotions and our instincts are something we shouldn't pay attention to. Oh yeah, our emotions, those are unreliable.

7:12Our instincts are unreliable. You can't trust those things. But there's a phrase that says the heart knows what the mind cannot understand. Sometimes we can't fully comprehend how we feel about a certain person or a situation. It's just a feeling. We get that feeling. And that feeling is really important. It's worth your consideration. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. And so research actually shows that our gut feeling or intuition is actually rooted in our physical bodies. And there's actually a part of your nervous system. It's actually called the enteric nervous system, ENS.

7:47And it's a network of neurons that are located in the walls of your digestive tract. Huh. Holy shit. This is real. And neurologists refer to the ENS, the enteric nervous system, as your gut or your second brain because there's so many neurons in it. And there's a study that published in the Journal of American Scientists in 1999 by Michael D. Gershon, who's a professor of anatomy and cell biology at Columbia University. And he actually found that the gut functions as a separate and independent nervous system from your central nervous system. And your gut has over 500 million neurons. Your gut can also influence your cognitive function and your memory as well.

8:28So your gut is a complex system that's capable of influencing both your physiological and your psychological processes in your brain. And so there's a communication that happens between the ENS and the brain and it's bi-directional, which means they can both kind of talk to each other. This basically means that your gut can influence your brain. And there's a ton of studies that are coming out now about how much your gut and your gut system and everything that's in it actually influences your brain. And your brain can then also influence your gut. So this is why you often experience physical sensations in your stomach when you're nervous or you're anxious, right?

9:06What do they call that? You got butterflies. So what's interesting about the gut is it's also connected to the amygdala, which is the part of your brain that processes all of your fear. And so the part of the brain that processes your fears and all of that, when you look at it, you can look at it and it's actually your fight or flight response. And so that means that our gut is not just this vague sense of unease or uncertainty that we feel, but it's actually a physical response to a perceived threat in your life or even an opportunity. And so when you do get, I'm saying all of this just to hopefully, for those of you guys that are very analytical to go, huh, maybe I should pay attention to my gut feeling.

9:46Maybe I should pay attention to my intuition. When you get a gut feeling about someone or something, you should probably pay some attention to it. maybe, just maybe, it's because your body's trying to alert you to maybe a danger that's coming up, maybe an opportunity that maybe your conscious mind just hasn't been able to register yet. And so studies have shown that people who trust their gut instincts are often able to predict outcomes and make better accurate judgments than people who just go solely off of facts and figures. So even if you don't have all of the information, just take a step back, take a second and just think about it and feel into it.

10:23How does it feel? You know, okay, yeah, this makes sense for me to go and take a job that pays me twice as much. How do I feel though? It doesn't feel right. I don't know why it doesn't feel right. Okay, well, maybe your brain's gonna catch up and go, that means less time with my children. Yeah, I guess maybe that's why I didn't feel so right. And so it doesn't mean that you should just blindly follow your gut. That's not what I'm trying to say and just blindly follow your gut. But you can also use your gut and you can use your intellect together and make the best decisions you possibly can. And so it's just really like I always say your gut and the feelings of your gut is your emotional compass and you should always take a step back to look at it and follow it if it feels right.

11:04So take 60 breaths. I've got a really big decision. I'm going to take 60 breaths and then close your eyes and just feel what is it? What do I feel like I should do? And see if that's something that you can trust. Okay. The next thing is to embrace the power of the pause. And what does that mean? You know, we live in a really fast-paced life. Sometimes it's really good. Instead of like always making decisions immediately, take a step back. Sometimes the best decisions come from a pause, a moment of reflection. And neurologically, taking a step back allows the brain to shift its processing from a more reactive amygdala to the prefrontal cortex, which is, you know, so that the amygdala is the fear so it can immediately make a decision out of fear.

11:50Let me take a step back. Let me think about this for a minute. It doesn't have to be, you know, you don't always have to sleep on it or take three days to think about it. Let me take three minutes real quick. And what happens is your brain shifts from the amygdala a lot of times to the prefrontal cortex, which is the part where you have logical reasoning and you have planning. And so, you know, for significant decisions, don't immediately make a decision. Just say, hey, I'm just going to take a couple of minutes. I'm I'm just going to take a real quick break. Take two minutes, do 60 breaths, see how you feel about it.

12:21A little bit of that pause will help you as well. Next thing that you can do to help you make better decisions is to use what's called the 10-10-10 rule. And so it was created by a woman named Susan Welch. And the 10-10-10 rule is a way to help you gain perspective in your life. And so what it involves is that you sit there and you start to think about the decision in the immediate future. Then you push it a little bit further out. And then you push it way out into the distant future. And so what you do is this, is you ask yourself three questions. How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?

12:55And you journal through it or you allow yourself to answer it. Talk to yourself out loud if there's no one else around so you don't look kooky, right? Just how do I, how will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes? Okay, let's, let's talk about the, let's talk about the, the child that's being around your children and the job we've been talking about, right? Okay. how will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes if I take this job and I spend way less time with my children, but I make a whole lot more money? Well, I might be excited in about 10 minutes. Okay, cool. How will I be feeling it?

13:20How will I feel about this in 10 months? Hmm. Okay. Well, in 10 months, I'll be with a company for about nine and a half months at that point. I'll probably be maybe excited because I'm making more money. I might be a little bit stressed because I'm not spending much time with my children. I don't know. I might, I might be kind of stressed because, you know, in 10 months from now, Stacy's going to start soccer and I might not be around for soccer as much as I want to be. Okay. Well, that's probably how I feel in about 10 months. My wife might be a little bit stressed out because I'm not around the kids as much as I used to be.

13:49And I might not be able to help them with homework. So I might put a lot more weight on her shoulder. So it might be stressful for her. I might be feeling that stress as well. Okay. How will I feel about it in 10 years? Oh shit. Well, in 10 years, two of the kids are going to be out of this house. It might be out of the house. It might be a college at that point. damn I don't know if I'm going to be happy about this decision in 10 years because I'm going to think to myself I shouldn't have taken that job because I wish I had more time with the children and now they're out of the house so it's how will I feel about in 10 minutes how will I feel about in 10 months how I feel about in 10 years and the method helps breaking the immediate emotional response to something and allow you to kind of really think a little bit more long-term towards something and so that might be really perfect for you to kind of take a step back another example it'll be like, let's say you want to end a long-term relationship.

14:36And so, you know, you have a, a five-year relationship that you've been in. It's had its ups and its downs. And you think, how will I feel in 10 minutes? Okay. Right after making the decision, I might feel a mixture of relief. I might actually feel like, oh man, this is, this is good. I might be sad that I'm out with them anymore. But also at the same time, I don't have to deal with their BS anymore. What about 10 months? How am I going to feel? Well, I'm going to have to get used to being single again. I'm going to have to go on those dating apps. I'm going to have to rediscover myself. I might love my choice of being single.

15:08I might miss them. Okay, how am I going to feel in 10 years? 10 years from today, will I feel that this led to a happier, more fulfilling life? Would I feel like I made the right choice so that I could pursue personal happiness and growth? Or do I feel like there'd be regrets about things not working out? And so what happens is you start to look at this and you break it down in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years. Then you can kind of put yourself into the future and start to see what it might be. And the last thing I'm going to tell you guys is to understand that there's a really big paradox of choice.

15:39Too many options can be overwhelming. I love watching interviews with people who are like in their 70s, their 80s, their 90s. And what they say, they always say the same thing. They're like, oh, children now and kids now and people now like, it'd be really hard for me to be in their circumstance because they've got so many options. And I've got so many choices. Like when I married my wife, you know, 65 years ago, I lived in a town of 400 people. Now they have these dating apps where they can get 400 choices of women to date. And then it gets too much. Or like, there's so many things to watch. There's so many things to do.

16:10There's so much things to occupy your time with. It seems like when it was simpler, people were happier a lot of times. And that's the paradox of choice. You know, a book that's actually called the paradox of choice. and it suggests that all of this abundance of choices can actually lead to paralysis by analysis and so sometimes it's better to limit your choices have less choices because it's going to limit your decision fatigue is what they call it so as far as decision fatigue if there's too many decisions you have to make at one time it can be really taxing on your brain and jeff bezos who's you know always going between number one and number two and number three of the richest men in the world.

16:48He owns Amazon. He says that he only makes three important decisions per business day. And so he puts all of his mind into those three big decisions instead of saying, hey, let's go to a meeting and ask me as many questions you possibly can. I'll help you make decisions. The more choices that you're forced to make in a shorter amount of time, the less quality of your decisions as well. So maybe you just say, hey, I'm going to make less decisions. I'm going to make less decisions, but I'm going to concentrate on the most important decisions. And so that's really what it comes down to. Those are all tips to make better choices because ultimately, and I think the most important one is before you do any of them is figure out what your North Star is.

17:25Who do you want to be? What do you want to be? What do you want your life to be? And then try to filter all of your decisions through that. And then also use the rest of these techniques to help you make better decisions as well. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories. Tag me at Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. This podcast only grows from you guys sharing it. So if you would share it, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, you want a little bit more from me, check out mindset mentor plus with every episode of this podcast that comes out, people who are subscribers of mindset mentor plus get a whole lot more.

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18:28Once again, it's mindsetmentor.com. There's a video up there that explains everything. And the best part, it's less than a dollar a day. Want to make it as affordable as possible for you to learn and grow and improve your life. And so once again, mindsetmentor.com. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.