How To Stop Wasting Your Life and Boost Your Productivity

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there, you love this podcast, please do me a favor, give us a rating and review however you listen to us, whether that's Spotify, whether that's Apple Podcasts. The reason why is because the more positive ratings and reviews that we get, the more that those platforms present this podcast to people who have never listened to it before, which allows us to impact more people's lives and hopefully change the world.

0:34So if you do that, I'd greatly, greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm going to teach you one simple tip to help you be way more productive. One of the biggest steps to getting things done and to be more productive, we know, is to create a to-do list, right? You sit down, you write a to-do list, it's everything that you need to get done for the day. And it feels good to cross something off of that to-do list. But today, we're not going to be talking about a to-do list to be more productive. We're actually going to talk about something that's called the anti-to-do list. So sure, you can create your to-do list, and I definitely recommend you do.

1:09But I also recommend for you to really decide who you want to be, how you want to be, how you want to operate in this world, and what you want to create, that you create an anti-to-do list. An anti-to-do list is a list of tasks or habits that you consciously want to avoid. And so you know yourself better than anybody else in the world. And so what you want to do is you actually want to avoid these things and write them down. This could be like time wasters that you have, like mindlessly scrolling on social media, stop opening up TikTok, stop opening up Instagram. It could be things like hitting the snooze button.

1:45The idea is to eliminate these actions that drain energy, that waste your time, or get you further away from where you want to be in your life. So the same way that you say, okay, I need to wake up and I need to be productive and I need to do X, Y, and Z. Well, it's also like I need to not do A, B, and C. And so traditional to-do lists are more about ticking off tasks that are on the list. Anti-to-do lists are about having more self-awareness, having more control, and saying, I will no longer be this person that does this. So they help you identify and remove the blocks to your productivity, to your well-being, and to stop doing things that are not aligned with who you want to be in your future.

2:25and it's really important because of course it's important to know who you want to be and where you want to go in life what you want to do what you want to create what you want to accomplish all of those are really important to know but it is just as important to know what you don't want to do who we don't want to be the pitfalls we don't want to fall into these standards that we will not drop below so like for instance i wrote about this in my book but it's like if you are walking and you had just gotten a slice of pizza and you trip and you drop that piece of pizza onto the ground and now it's on the concrete outside, I would assume most people listening to me are not going to pick that piece of pizza up after it's been on a dirty concrete where people's feet and everything has been outside and put it in your mouth, right?

3:13Because that is below your standards of living and who you want to be and health and wellness and all that stuff most likely, right? Well, the same way that that is below your standards, can you also create a to-do list to be very clear of what will from this moment on be below your standards? And so more than anything else, it allows us to plan for who we don't want to be and what we don't want. What we don't want to have in our life, what we want to avoid, what we want to avoid so that we can create the lives that we want. And so from a psychological perspective, anti-to-do lists are incredibly powerful.

3:48They manage what's going on because you eliminate everything that causes you stress in the first place. So not only are they good for your productivity, they're also really good for your mental health. Because you're like, I've realized that hanging out with this person is bad for my mental health. I will no longer hang out with this person. I've realized that when I do this, I don't feel good about myself. Well, I'm going to stop doing this so that I can feel better about myself. And so by focusing on what not to do and not doing those things, you're more likely to engage in healthier and more productive behaviors.

4:24So really what it's about is self-awareness and being proactive for what you will no longer do. And so when you look at this neurologically using anti-to-do lists, they help you avoid certain tasks. Well, if you're avoiding certain tasks that you've been doing for a while, you're positively starting to rewire their brain. because when you consistently avoid a negative habit, you're weakening that habit connection in your brain. And so at first it might be hard to get off of sugar and stop going for sugar and stop going for sugar and stop going for sugar. But over time, those cravings will start to disappear, which makes it easier.

5:00Same way that sleeping in is something you've been doing for a while and you don't do it and you don't do it and you don't do it. It makes it easier. Your body starts getting used to waking up at a certain time and makes it easier over time. So what's hard at first, because maybe it's been hardwired into you at this point, becomes easier over time the less that you do it. So it's hard at first, it requires intention, it requires attention, but over time it becomes easier because that connection in your brain neurologically weakens. You're basically training your brain to form new and healthier habits.

5:31And so neurologists, what they call this is intentional avoidance. And so intentional avoidance can lead to long-term positive brain functioning. And so by regularly using these anti-to-do lists and you're intentionally avoiding things, you're essentially rewiring your brain for improved focus, improved productivity, so that you start becoming the person you need to be to create the life that you want. And so let me give you some examples of what an anti-to-do list would look like and why this is important. So it's like you want to identify what you want to stop doing, but also why you want to stop doing it.

6:03So in your personal life, you might say, I won't use my cell phone after 6 p.m. perfect why so that I can spend more time with my children because I want to be a present parent and that is way more important to me than being on my phone and seeing what other people are eating throughout the day on Instagram it could be I won't go one week without taking my wife on a date because it's important for me to put that relationship above everything else in my life I will not hit the snooze button ever again because when I was a fully conscious human I set the alarm and I set the alarm for a reason. And when I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it from now on.

6:43Or it could be something like I will not look at my phone for at least an hour after waking up because I have seen the studies that show how susceptible we are in the first 60 minutes of waking up. And I know that when I look at my phone in the first 60 minutes, it makes me more anxious in the morning and more anxious throughout the rest of the day. So I will no longer look at my phone within the first 60 minutes. It can also be like, I will not have coffee within the first 90 minutes of waking up because I need the melatonin to leave my brain. And caffeine works better after 90 minutes. And it is scientifically proven that people are less anxious when they wait 90 minutes after waking up before they have their first coffee.

7:23I understand that one's hard, but promise you, it works. And we will be right back. And now, back to the show. It could be something like, I will not allow myself to complain about anything anymore because I am not a victim in my life. It could be something like, I will not shy away from things that scare me because I must get out of my comfort zone to change myself and to change my life and create the life that I want. So that would be like professional examples, right? So if let's say that, I'm sorry, that's personal examples. The next one, let's say you want to do professional examples, right?

8:00That would be something like, I will no longer show up late for anything that I do. Work, meetings, any of that. And the reason why is because I know I'm not really good at time management. That's holding me back. So if I will not be late ever again, it forces me to get better at time management. I want to show other people that I can be counted on. And that's why this is important to me. I will not, when I create a to-do list, I will not cross off the easy items first. When I look at the 80-20 rule, I will spend 20%, I will spend most of my time on the 20 % that brings most of the results in business.

8:37So I'm not going to go for the easy things in business, I'm going to go for the hard things in business knowing that they're probably going to bring in more revenue in my business, more results, more positive actions in my business. I will no longer say yes to anything that my boss tells me because I've been a people pleaser my entire life and I don't want to be a people pleaser anymore. I'm going to set healthy boundaries. I will not create meetings unless there is a clear and defined reason to do so. I will not go one day without checking in on each person on my team and I will not go one day without doing at least one one-on-one meeting with someone that's on my team.

9:19I will not check my email more than twice per day. I'm gonna check it at 9 a.m. when I first get into the office. I'm gonna check it at 4.30 p.m. and then I'll be done with it. I will not bring work home with me anymore. So it's all of these little teeny tiny things that really sets you up to who you want to be and by making a to-do list and planning out your life, you're planning out who you want to be, right? When you also plan out who you don't want to be, what you don't want to do, you're still, in a way, planning out who you want to be. Because if you're the type of person who is not going to show up late anymore to meetings, well, then if you're the type of person that's not going to show up late to meetings anymore, well, that means that you are the type of person who's going to be punctual, who can be counted on, who says when they're going to do something, they do it.

10:06When they say they're going to do it, they're going to do it, which means that people can trust you to follow through. And so these things are really important to start to think about. What is your anti-to-do list involve? Think about it for a second. Like, what are things that you're like, you know what? I've been doing this and I've been saying I want to stop doing it. But like, I'm going to put my foot in the ground and I'm going to say no more. I'm drawing a line in the sand and I'm saying I will never do this thing again. I will never call this person again. I will never hang out with them because they've been toxic to me my entire life.

10:39and every time I'm around them, I feel like shit and they've only been toxic to me my entire life and they make me feel worse about myself. Okay, draw a line in the sand. And so it's about making a decision for what you will no longer do and in turn, what you will do from now on. And when you look at, and you've heard me say this before in the podcast, but when you look at the root word for decision, it comes from the root word of decadere, which means to cut off, which means that there are no other options. I am not going to be this person more the same way that you're not going to pick up a piece of pizza that fell on the ground and start eating it after it landed in a parking lot.

11:19You're not going to be the type of person that shows up late to anything anymore. You're not going to be the type of person that goes home and is on their phone instead of spending time with your children. You're not going to be the type of person who misses dinner anymore. Whatever it is, you decide who you don't want to be to help you be who you want to be. And so how do we do it? Well, creating an effective anti-to-do list really more than anything else involves you being vulnerable and honest with yourself. Like be very vulnerable, very honest, and start to think about who you want to be and who you don't want to be for the rest of your life.

11:55And you start by asking yourself just three simple questions. Okay. What are my typical time-wasting habits? And you write down all of your time-wasting habits. What are my typical habits that I do when I'm wasting time? Because we want to be more productive, right? This is something that I do that wastes time. This is getting away with my productivity. Next question is, what are negative behaviors that I want to get rid of? What are your negative behaviors? The things that you do day in, day out. Maybe you've been doing it's just a hobby, but do it for 15 years. So what are your negative behaviors that you want to get rid of?

12:28And the last question is, how am I holding myself back? What are some of the things that I do that hold me back? Who do I want to be? Who do I not want to be? And you start answering these questions, you start coming up with your anti-to-do list. And it's very, very crucial to make sure that you're specific. And so a lot of times, because people are not used to going deep with themselves, they tend to think that they answer a question, but the question is very like vague or surface level. So instead of being vague and surface level, like, I don't want to waste time. Well, no shit. Nobody wants to waste time.

13:02But wasting time for you can look like something different than wasting time for someone else. And so instead of saying something like I don't want to waste time, write something like I will stop watching TV for more than an hour every single day because you might watch too much TV. Someone else wasting time might be spending too much time on social media. Other people might be scrolling and shopping online for four hours a day. So the key is to be very clear and very specific for what you want to stop doing, but also, as I said, why you want to stop doing it. And so the challenge that you're going to come up across is the temptation to slip back into old habits.

13:40And so to overcome this, it's really important to keep your anti-to-do list visible and to review it regularly, to continue to keep reminding yourself who you are, who you're going to be, and who you're not going to be anymore. Another challenge that I would say I see a lot of people come up with is being way too ambitious. So they're like, okay, I'm going to create an anti-to-do list. And here's 175 things I'm not going to do anymore. That's great. Okay, cool. But that's too many things. So just start with a few items. If you write down 175 things, what are the three biggest things? That if you stop doing these three big things, your life would be exponentially better.

14:20Start with those three things. Start with a few items and then gradually once you start to feel like, okay, I'm getting better at X, Y, and Z, well then now I need to go and start doing other stuff as well. Because when you have a massive list of things that you're going to stop doing, you're going to forget them and you're going to start doing them again. And then a year down the road, you're going to go, oh my God, remember when I sat down, I met the anti-to-do list. What the hell happened? I'm not doing any of those things. Well, because it was paralysis by analysis. You gave yourself too many things to do.

14:47And so the anti-to-do lists are really unique because all the time we sit down and we make, what's our plan for life? What do we want? Let's visualize it. Let's make a to-do list. But when we decide who we don't want to be, what we don't want to do, it's also as effective. And it helps you with your productivity. It helps you with your well-being. And by focusing on what you don't want to do, you make a clear path for becoming the person that you want to become that creates the life they want, that takes the impactful actions. And so if you're a student, do this. If you're a professional, do this.

15:21If you're a parent, do this. This is for anyone that's looking to improve their daily life. And so it can be a really powerful tool for your self-development. And so try it out. Give yourself 15 minutes. If you're at home right now and you got your journal in front of you, turn me off, sit in silence for 15 minutes and just write down everything that you don't want to do, everything that you don't want to be anymore and then start creating a plan around it. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

15:51The only way this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. And so the best way to give back and to say thanks is just to share it, if you would, so that we can impact more people's lives, we can change more lives around the world. Also, if you love this podcast and you want more from me and the Mindset Mentor, check out Mindset Mentor Plus. It is at mindsetmentor.com. There's a video that explains everything, but it's basically this podcast, but on steroids. there's worksheets, there's Q &A sessions, there's assignments, there's journaling questions, there's all kinds of different things to help you learn and grow and improve yourself.

16:20All of that, once again, is at mindsetmentor.com. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.