If Nothing Else, You Need to Believe This

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1:37Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, send me a text message right now because I will text you back with inspirational, motivational mindset tips and tricks throughout the week to help you improving it better. It's 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, I want to talk to you about the belief that you have to have over all other beliefs in your life because I think the most dangerous belief that you can carry in your life is that life is happening against you.

2:19Because if you live your life like a victim, your brain will collect all of the evidence everywhere around you to look and to prove that true. And if you think about it, what benefit does that have in your life to think that you're a victim other than just keeping you small your entire life. And so today I'm going to prove to you scientifically why acting as if everything is working in your favor is not blind optimism. I'm going to show you how it's one of the most powerful neurological advantages that you can develop in yourself as a human being. Now, before your skeptical brain stops in and says, oh, this is bullshit.

2:59You know, this motivational thing of everything's always working out for me. Let me be clear, right? I'm not saying pretend that bad things don't happen. I'm not saying ignore reality. I'm not saying manifest a Lamborghini by staring at a vision board or like walk into traffic because the universe has your back. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the most powerful neurological filter that shapes your entire experience of reality. And that's what we're going to dive into. There's a quote that's often attributed to Einstein and it's this. It says, the most important decision that you will ever make is whether you believe that you live in a friendly or hostile universe.

3:36So do you right now, think about this, believe that you live in a friendly universe or a hostile universe? It's very binary. It's black or white. Which one is it? Because that's a decision that you need to make right now. So go for it right now. What do you believe? Because the psychology behind all of that is really, really profound because every human, no matter what, we develop an unconscious answer to that question. And I want to bring it to the surface right now because some people walk through life assuming that bad people are out there and people can't be trusted and success is temporary or happiness never lasts or they're waiting for the other shoe to drop or they only think that good things happen to other people and that they're not lucky.

4:20And then there's another group of people, much smaller segment of people, that walk through life assuming that things just tend to work out for them, that all of their challenges have some sort of opportunities in them. They believe that life is happening for them and not to them. And they believe that they can handle whatever comes. It's the same planet that these two people live on, same economy, the same reality, but two completely different operating systems of how they view their reality, which then equates to a completely different life. And so, you know, this is where the neuroscience really gets interesting in this.

4:56When you look at your brain, it does not see reality. You might think, oh yeah, I logically look at all situations. You don't. Your brain is designed to create a usable model of reality. And those are two very different things. See, your brain receives billions of bits of information per second, approximately 11 billion bits of information per second. But your conscious awareness can only process 40 to 50 bits of information per second. So that's 11 billion to around 50 bits per second. And your reticular activating system, which is basically your brain's filter, decides what gets through based off of what you have taught it is important.

5:36And it is based off of what you focus on. And so if you focus on life is dangerous, guess what you're going to notice? You're going to notice rejection and failure and threats and criticism and reasons why things won't work out. but if you trained your brain to believe that things always work out for you guess what starts becoming visible opportunities helpful people solutions unexpected openings and opportunities new possibilities you have to understand all of those those opportunities were always there but what happened is your filter changed from you being a victim to hey there's always possibility out there and now you notice something that was always there but now your brain isn't filtering it out anymore.

6:21And so something that most people in self-development have never actually heard of before is modern neuroscience is increasingly viewing the brain as a prediction machine. Not a reaction machine, a prediction machine. Your brain isn't waiting for reality to happen. It's constantly generating predictions every single second about what reality is about to be. and then it searches for evidence to confirm those predictions. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm stupid. My business is going to fail. I'm not lovable. It'll find all the answers to that and so you got to think about how insane that is.

7:00If your unconscious prediction is like I'm going to fail, your brain begins scanning for all of the proof and guess what? It will find it. It will 100 % find whatever it is that you're looking for. If your prediction is this won't work out, your brain starts collecting all the evidence for that. If your prediction is people don't like me, every facial expression becomes suspicious to you. Every delayed text from somebody becomes rejection. Every disagreement becomes proof that people just don't like you. Your brain will always find what it is looking for and it is always looking for what you tell it to look for.

7:41So looking to prove your predictions true. So what the fuck are you trying to predict? Have you ever asked yourself that? Now, when you look at this, like there's something that a lot of people have heard of before. It's called the placebo effect, right? Placebo effect is incredibly powerful. I don't know why this isn't talked about more, especially as children, but the placebo effect is when a person has some sort of symptoms and their symptoms improve simply because they believe that they're receiving some sort of effective treatment, even if that treatment is just sugar pills, which means it does absolutely nothing.

8:18And research shows that placebo effect, like actually somebody getting better from thinking that they're getting better accounts for 20 to 40 % of improvement in medical conditions and clinical trials. It is the highest among everything. There's no pill that does better than 20 to 40%. and we will be right back. Hey, showing up for yourself day in and day out and doing the hard things is what creates a better life. And noon hydration helps you stay moving with the real deal. Activated hydration built to support you through those moments that challenge you. Noon hydration tablets deliver clean ingredients and optimize electrolytes that hydrate better than water alone, especially when you're sweating or on the go.

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11:38Go to shopify.com slash dial. That's shopify.com slash dial. And now back to the show. And sometimes it's even higher for pain and depression in brain related symptoms, right? And so that means that your belief in your expectations can trigger measurable and biological changes in your brain and in your body, in your immune system, in your hormone production, in your pain pathways. So think you're healthy and really believe it and you can become healthier. But few people really know about its evil twin. There's another thing that's called the nocebo effect. People are told that they'll experience side effects for a sugar pill and guess what happens?

12:20They start to experience the side effects from a pill that contains absolutely nothing except for sugar. Why? Because the expectations of the human changed the biology of the human. The brain predicted suffering, the body followed. Someone can get side effects from a sugar pill because they think they will get side effects. They don't know it's a sugar pill. They think it's something different. And they're going, oh, you might have explosive diarrhea. And this person gets explosive diarrhea because they think that they will. You might get a tummy ache. So they get a tummy ache because they think that they will.

12:55Isn't that crazy? Like, why are we not taught this shit as children? That what we believe even we will usually create. Now think about this. What if millions of people, hundreds of millions of people are living under a psychological nocebo? People can make themselves sick because they think that they're sick, but does that also mean that if we walk through life expecting disappointment or rejection or betrayal or failure, that we might unknowingly be creating that in our lives? for sure. Let me give an example. Imagine there's two people that start a business, right? And both encounter problems because that's what businesses are, right?

13:37Both of them lose money. Both have experienced setbacks. And person A believes, C, nothing ever works out for me, which many people do believe. I remember believing that when I was younger, first starting my business. And person B believes this is part of the process. It's the exact same event, but it's different beliefs. And so person A closes off, and I bet you if they start to close off, I bet you that business will eventually fail pretty soon. Person B, because they have a different perspective, even though the same circumstances, learns from it and gets better. And listen, I have coached a lot of entrepreneurs over the past decade, and I can confidently say that one of the main reasons why 95 % of businesses fail within the first five years is the mind of the business owner.

14:23It's not the economy. It's not the president. It's not inflation. It's not whatever is going on. It is the mind of the business owner because they are looking for and finding whatever's going on in their brain. And like, this is where the psychology really starts to get crazy. In psychology, there's a concept that's called learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is this animals that were exposed to unavoidable stress, eventually stopped trying to escape. They just thought, well, this is the way that it is. It's always going to be this way. And they eventually tried to stop escaping even when escaping was possible.

15:00Now, believe me. Yeah, this is fucking terrible to do to animals. I do agree with that, but it does show you something in psychology with animals, but also humans, right? The opportunity to escape exists, but the brain no longer believes that it does. So it doesn't even try. It just stays. This exact concept right here is super common for humans as well. If you think about this, like just really think about learned helplessness. An animal is exposed to stress, stress, stress, stress, stress. It eventually gets to the point where it's just like, hey, this is how life is. And it stops trying to escape, even those possibilities to escape.

15:38Think about how many humans are living like that as well. Like learned helplessness isn't just in animals. It is proven in humans as well. How many people have stopped trying because life didn't go according to plan a few times when they were younger? How many people have opportunities sitting directly in front of them, but can't see them because they've been neurologically conditioned to expect that they're going to fail. And so you have to think to yourself, like, do you have some sort of learned helplessness in your life? Yeah, you probably do. We all do in some sort of way. But if learned helplessness is true, does that mean that the opposite can also be true?

16:14what if possibility can be learned? What if resilience can be learned? What if expecting things to work out changes the way that you actually engage with reality? Think about how that could change the course of your life. You stop living in this nocebo and you start living in this placebo. So you stop thinking that things are going to go bad and things stop going bad and you start thinking things are going to go good and things actually start going good. Now realize when I say acting is act as if everything is always working out, I don't mean that life is going to get easier for you. I don't mean that things are going to disappear.

16:52Like this is where like people misunderstand the entire concept. Acting as if everything works out doesn't mean that bad things don't happen. It doesn't mean that some people won't leave your life and it doesn't mean that you'll never fail. It doesn't mean that you'll never get your heart broken. It means believing that whatever happens can be eventually used for your benefit. You can learn from every single situation to grow and get better in the future. That's massively different because then failure, every single failure becomes information. It becomes a lesson. And pain and loss become education.

17:31They become information that you can use in the future. And that shift alone changes the questions that your brain begins to search for answers for. Like I've said it many times in the podcast, the brain is like cosmic Google. Whatever you ask of it, it will find answers to. It will search through everything in your past and find answers to questions that you repeatedly ask. If you say, how am I not good enough? How's this going to screw up? How am I a loser? How am I going to fail? Why don't people love me? It'll find all of the answers to that. But on the other side, if you say, how can I prove that everything that's ever happened to me has eventually worked out, it will find the answers to that as well.

18:06It's kind of like if you imagine a forest fire, right? From the perspective of most people, a forest fire is terrible. It is a catastrophe. It's so sad to go through that. Oh my gosh, that tree was a thousand years old and it burned down. That's a human's perspective. But from the perspective of the entire forest ecosystem over the next 500 years? Many forests require fire. Like certain seeds only open after intense heat. When all of the dead growth gets cleared from the fire, new growth becomes possible. When all the big trees that were taking all the shade end up burning down, it leaves a moment for life to reorganize itself and for new growth to be able to come up.

18:49And so when you look at the forest fire example and you think, well, how can I organize this into my life and use it? Like obviously, if you're in pain. Don't become delusional and just pretend that you're happy. Like feel your pain, grieve it, process it, cry if you need to, get angry if you need to. You're human. That's like the forest fire clearing everything out. But eventually in that process, just ask yourself like, hey, if this is always working out for me, what benefit can I find in this situation? How can I look at this from a different perspective? What if this is always working out for me.

19:20For me, I'll just be fully transparent with you. I have a deep-seated belief from 40 something years of my life and seeing how the shittiest things that have happened to me 10 or 15 or 20 years down the road turned out to be the biggest blessings or the biggest learning moments or these things that had to happen to me for me to learn and grow. I have come to this deep-seated belief, like all 40 trillion of my cells believe that life is always working out for me, no matter how hard it gets, no matter what happens. And that scares the shit out of me because I know that some really painful things can happen in my life coming into the future.

19:58I still will have the perspective and want to have this perspective that it's always working out for me. I remember a few years ago when our dog Toby died, he was 13 and a half. A couple of days later, we had to go to the exact same vet and we had Bear who was one of our, you know, he's only about six months old at the time, had to be neutered or fixed or whatever they call it, right? And he had to go through the whole conversation with us. He knew Toby had just died. And he's sitting us with Bear and he says, hey, listen, I know you've had a really hard week, but I just have to tell you when we put a dog under, there are obviously some risks and Bear's a smaller dog, so there's more risk.

20:33And I was like, yeah, I know. And then I left and I went home and I didn't hear back from him for like six hours. And I remember the feeling deep inside of me, like, oh my God, like, I hope Bear's okay. I hope something doesn't happen. I can't deal with this. But then I was also talking to myself and I was like, hey, if something ever does happen to Bear, if this is what has to happen, I know and I trust that God and the universe has something I'm supposed to learn from it. But I just really don't want to learn a fucking lesson this week. Like, I was just like, I said that to myself. I was like, God, if something has to happen, I know that it's working out of my benefit.

21:13I know that there's something I'm supposed to learn. But I just, please, I do not want to learn another lesson this week because losing Toby was hard enough and I don't want to have to lose Bear as well. And so that is my overall perspective of life. That is a real true way that I try to look at life. And luckily, nothing happened to Bear and he is, you know, perfectly healthy, beautiful little teeny tiny dog. But had something happened, I would have still looked at it that way. It would have been hard. I would have grieved. I would have cried. I would have been destroyed from losing my dog. But I would have been able to look at it and go, what am I supposed to learn from this?

21:47Because I know deeply inside of me that everything that's happening is happening for me and not to me. And so when you look at it, the real deep question we should ask ourself is, can I trust myself to grow through whatever happens? And the answer is yes. You can trust yourself to grow through whatever happens. You know you have been through some crazy shit in your life, haven't you? And you've gotten through all of it, no matter what. When you start to look at that, something really important happens. You stop living so defensively. Like you stop bracing for impact. So many people are just so tight in their own lives and in their bodies.

22:21There's bracing for impact, always expecting something to go wrong. You stop treating life like an enemy. And you stop treating like every challenge as evidence that something is about to go wrong. and you start to see life in a completely different way. You see it as a series of experiences, some of them beautiful, some of them painful, all of them usable. And it brings me back, I wanna leave you with a quote that I think is perfect for this. There's a guy named Naval and he says, life is really simple. You're born, you have a set of experiences and then you die. But the meaning that you give your experiences dictate the quality of your life.

22:57That is something that we're all in control of. So I hope that you look at all of the experience of your life as something that is always working out for you. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in at Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day. Introducing Fidelity Trader Plus, the next generation of advanced trading from Fidelity.

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