If You Want to be Wealthy & Happy... listen to this

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast I'm your host Rob dial if you have three-step process to developing more wealth in your life. I've been doing a lot of coaching recently with people on different programs that I have around money and money mindset. And where I come from, I had to really work on myself a lot. And so I'm going to talk to you a little bit about the mindset of money. And I'm also going to talk to you about the actual strategic way of how to make more and develop wealth. Where I came from, I had a lot of fear and I had a lot of scarcity around money and money and making money is a skill set to be learned.

0:57But really, before we dive into it, I want to take a step back and make you understand that there is money is just a thing, but we have so much emotion and so much story built up around money. I was on a coaching call yesterday and a lady was talking to me about how she was she was having trouble whenever she would make more money, she'd spend it whenever she'd make it, she would spend it. She never would actually have more in her bank account for a long extended period of time. And I started asking her questions and I started, you know, diving into it. And she's like, you know what? I think I might have this mindset of, of money is evil.

1:30And I was like, okay, where did that come from? We started talking about it. And I asked her a question and it's a question that I asked myself as I started trying to, to build more wealth and make more money. And, um, it's, it's very simple. I said, you know, what are your first memories around money? And she's like, I'm not really sure. And with me some of the first memories that I have around money. And I asked myself this question as I started to change my own money mindset. And one of the ones was that I remember, it's probably the first memory that I have around money, is I remember probably being four or five years old, and I wanted GAC.

2:08And if you guys are old enough to remember GAC in the 90s, it was like Play-Doh, but kind of slimier. And I remember wanting GAC. And I remember my mom saying we don't have money for that. We don't have enough money. And I did what a four year old does. Sometimes I threw a fit and I started crying on the couch in our two bedroom apartment. Like I remember specifically the moment being there and being under the covers with the blanket over my head and crying and throwing so much of a fit that my mom was just like, all right, fine, whatever, we'll go get it. And so we drove to Target and I was excited to be able to get the GAC.

2:38But I remember having this feeling of shame because I'm making my mom in my head, my childhood mind, I'm making my mom spend money that we don't have for something that we don't really need. It's just a toy that I wanted. And I remember feeling shame around that. And so my first memory of money was shameful. I also remember, I remember a ton of different memories as I started journaling through it and really going on this journey over the past 10, 15 years or so of really starting to see what I associate money to. And so like, first off, if you feel shame around something, if you make it very simple, is that if you have shame around something, is that good or is that bad?

3:16And for me, it was bad. Makes sense. If I have shame around it, it's bad. And so my first memory of money that I can actually remember and recall is a bad memory around money. Another memory I remember is my mom around taxis and being really stressed out because she was a realtor and she had to do her taxes. I remember sitting at the table with, you know, papers all over the place and just being stressed. So then I took myself out of it and I made it as simple as possible. And I said, if something makes my mom stressed, is that thing good or is that thing bad? And once again, that thing would be bad.

3:49And then there was another memory that I have where, where I had a, I was part of this thing called civil air patrol in middle school. And I didn't even want to be part of civil air patrol, but my friend will was a part of it. And his mom asked if we would be a part of it. And so I had to be a part of civil air patrol and we had to go buy a uniform, right? And I remember we didn't have enough money to buy the uniform. So my grandfather, being the sweet man that he was, sent me a check for$100. And I remember feeling once again, shame because my grandfather had sent me money to get something that I didn't even want.

4:20And my grandfather's retired and he was older. And so I, these are all my own internal stories, realize. This has nothing to do with reality. This is my own internal stories. So if I feel shame around my grandfather giving me money, is that good or is that bad? And so the memories that I can recall around childhood were bad, bad, bad. And so naturally I associated bad to money. And so then I started getting older and thinking about it. And so I struggled to make money. And then when I finally made money, I struggled to actually save it and hold on to it. Why? Because subconsciously, you don't want to make something that's bad.

4:56And when you make something that's bad, you don't want to keep something that's bad. and so I started uncovering this whole money mindset behind everything and so when I the reason why I say this to you is because I think the first thing before we talk about building wealth is like what is your actual like you can want to consciously make money but if you deeply subconsciously feel like money is bad and you don't know that consciously but subconsciously you do it's going to be really hard to make it's gonna be really hard to keep it right and so that's the first thing I think is really important for you to take a step back after this episode and just dive in and say, what are my first memories around money?

5:33What are they? And are they good or are they bad? And you don't have to be poor for them to be bad like we were. I know people who have been raised by extremely wealthy people and they never saw their father because he was out making money. And so they associate money with bad as well because they never got to see their father or he wasn't around for the important things. And so it's really about you just starting to go through and say, like, what is my money mindset and how can I start to shift it? When you start realizing this, you start to realize that making money is a skill set to be learned.

6:08It's not something that you're like blessed with at birth. The same way that like you can go, okay, I want to get better at dribbling a basketball. Well, then I need to, I wasn't born with the skill set to be able to dribble a basketball. It's a skill set to be learned. Money is the exact same thing. Making money is not something that you do. It's a skill that you learn over time. And the first thing that I'll say before we dive into money, because money is very emotional for very people, is money does not fix problems. It will not fix any of your problems, okay? The only problems that money fixes are money problems.

6:45Sure, it allows you to become more free. It allows you to do what you want, when you want, with who you want. It allows you to buy stuff. but every single other problem that exists in your life will still be there no matter how rich and wealthy you become your relationship issues will still be there your self-worth issues will still be there the way that you talk to yourself positive or negative or the negative self-talk will still be there nothing will change but the digits in your bank account and that means you can do something or you can buy something every other problem is still there and you know for a lot of people, a lot, I mean, a lot of people think, well, when I make money, then this will be solved.

7:24And when I make money, this will be solved. Nothing ends up being solved. The only problems that money solves is money problems. Okay. And the thing that you have to realize about money is that money is a game. Whether or not you want to learn the rules or not, you are in the game. Until the day you die, you are in the game of money. We have to make it. We have to buy it. We have to keep ourselves alive. We have to buy food. We have to buy water. We have to pay rent, mortgage, all of those things. You're in the game. If you want to stay ignorant of the game and not play it and not learn how to play it, that's completely your decision.

7:59But if you're going to be in the game, you might as well learn some of the rules, right? So instead of spending time on Netflix or scrolling on Instagram, why don't you actually start to learn more about money, right? Don't sit back and say, oh, I don't understand. I don't get it. I don't, I don't, I don't understand how it works. Well, that's obvious. That's why you haven't done it yet, right? So what do you need to learn is the better thing to ask yourself. What do I need to learn? And what you need to do is you need to start learning how to make more money first. Then you need to learn how to save it.

8:34And then you need to learn how to invest it. And after years, and I'm not saying this is like most people are like, oh, I want to do it in three months. No, I'm talking years and years and years and years. you can eventually remove yourself from having to work to make money. You can continue to work if you want to, but now you can just do it for fun. So like for me, I've been working really hard. I dropped out of college so that I could work and I've been working really hard since I was 19. So for 19 years, I've been working really hard and building businesses and all of that. And my wealth manager and I, we had a conversation.

9:06I was like, listen, I want to be retired in five years. When I say retired in five years, it doesn't mean that I do nothing. I don't ever see myself doing nothing. I love what I do. So if you love the podcast, don't worry. It's not going to be ending in five years. But I want to get to the point where I'd never have to work another day and I could keep my life exactly the way that currently is. And I honestly don't say this to brag at all, not even a little bit, because I was in the position years ago of being broke and overdrafting over and over and over and over and over again back in 2010, just fully overdrafting my account over and over again.

9:46And I was like, I need to figure this out because I don't want to have to be the person who does. I don't want to struggle the rest of my life. And so I don't say it to brag. I say it because it's something that anyone can learn. You know, I had a very fucked up money mindset for a long time, for most of my life. And now I'm just on this path trying to remove myself from the game if I would like to, right? If I would like, and I probably won't because this is fun and I like doing this and I enjoy what I do, but I want to be able to and not feel like I have to work. And so I think everybody can get to that.

10:19You listening can get to that. It's just what do you need to learn and start making a plan to do it, okay? The next thing that I'll say around money that I feel a lot of people get really hung up around is it is possible to ethically make money. It is possible to ethically make money. So many people have been raised by parents that say to them or think that in order to make money, somebody else has to be screwed. Somebody else has to be screwed over in order to you become wealthy. And so a lot of people just go, well, I don't want to screw anybody over, so I'm not going to do it, right? A lot of people are raised by people whose parents talk trash about people who have money, who are a little bit more wealthy, who do well, because the parents might be jealous and they might just say that to make themselves feel better.

11:04I don't know what it might be, but so many people are raised by parents who have demonized the act of making money. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. When the act of making money is just an act and they say, like even on the coaching call yesterday, the lady said that she believed that money was evil. And I was like, money is not evil because money is just a piece of paper. You can't look like if you went to your printer right now and you printed out a piece of paper and you took it, you can't be like that white sheet of paper is evil. No. What some people do to make money can be evil, but that doesn't make money evil in itself.

11:42And so what I think is evil is not money. I think that greed is evil. And so those are two completely different conversations. So the thing about it too is that if you make more money, it gives you more ways to help other people. So it actually is not evil to make money because it allows you to be able to help other people, right? And some of the most giving people, like some of the wealthiest people I know are also the most giving. I have a friend, I've talked about him on the podcast many times before, but his goal was to be, by the time he died, to be worth$100 million. And he hit that by the age of 40 through real estate.

12:20He hit it by 40 and then he decided I need a new goal. And his new goal was I'm going to donate$100 million in my lifetime before he dies, right? So he's going to, by his hard work, he is able to donate$100 million. Was that evil? I don't think that's evil at all. And so really what it comes down to is testing the validity of our thoughts and our paradigms and our viewpoints and our beliefs around money, right? So that's the mindset side of it. Let's start to talk a little bit more about the strategy side of it. And I'm not going to tell you guys, I mean, there's a million ways to make a million dollars.

12:55But the first thing that you have to do is you have to learn to make money and do not stop learning. Just learn to make money, whatever it is, and be learning all of the time in every market that you possibly can from every person that you possibly can. Some of the wealthiest people that I know are just the most curious people. Like they're the most curious learners. And so I was at an event a couple years ago and there was a guy who had recently sold his business for a billion dollars in cash and him and his wife were the only owners of that business so he exited the business for a billion dollars in cash what was crazy about it though is that at this event he was at and i'm not even being you know facetious in a sort of way i'm like i'm being a hundred percent direct and telling you and real and telling you he was at this event with a hundred successful people front and center with his notebook, taking the most notes and asking the most questions of anybody else in the room.

13:54Just a curious guy. Now he sold his company a few months before then for a billion dollars in cash. He could have just sat in the back and been like, I'm hot shit. I'm so cool. I'm good at this. But he was just so curious. He was such a learner. He wanted to learn more and get better. Right. And so it's about learning as much as you possibly can and finding something that you actually enjoy doing. Because when you enjoy doing something, working hard doesn't feel like hard work. It feels like play. And so you are paid in the marketplace of the world. You're paid what you're worth. And if you are not paid what you want to be paid, you just need to make yourself more valuable.

14:31And so what do you need to learn in order to make yourself more valuable? What is it that makes you more valuable? And here's what's important. I would recommend that you stop following money, that you stop going and trying to just follow money to have money. What I would recommend is that you follow your passion or you follow something that you're curious about. Like follow your passion, follow your curiosity. Like I, even if I didn't have a podcast, even if I didn't do any of this stuff, I would still be learning about myself and learning about other people just because I'm so interested in people.

15:07Like I'm so interested in meeting somebody and when they sit down, just thinking in my head, not saying it out loud, but I'm thinking in my head, how did you become how you are? I want to know what the relationship with their mom is like, what the relationship with their dad is like, what it was like growing up. Because if I can start to piece those together, I can go, yeah, it makes sense why you are the person that you are. So I think what's really important is to follow your passion or your curiosity. Yours might not be the same as mine, but what is yours? Because life is a marathon. This whole game that we're in of life, but also just the game of money is a marathon.

15:42And it's a lot easier to work harder when you're doing something that you're in, you enjoy and something that is intriguing for you. So like ask yourself this question and journal on it. What would be fun for you, but feel like work for others? What would be fun for you, but feel like work for others? Like for me, coaching people, like I said, nothing is more interesting in the world to me. And I was at a restaurant with my wife this weekend and the server was like, so you guys come in here all the time. Like, what do you guys do? And we started telling him and talking to him about it. He's like, man, I could never do that.

16:16It seems exhausting, right? He's like, ah, talking with people and coaching people and hearing all their shit. That sounds exhausting. And that if to me, it's fun and everyone is different. So like, what would be fun to you, but feel like work for other people. and then you find it and you work at becoming better at that thing. Over time, if you just continue to keep learning, continue to keep learning, continue to keep working, you will distance yourself from other people. And years later, you will become one of the best in the world if you just keep going down that road. Because most people, this is the key to it, most people stop.

16:52Most people give up. So if you just keep on going down the road, you're just going to be better than everybody else. So then as you start to find something that you're interested in, as you put years and invest yourself into learning and becoming a little bit more curious on it, try to become one of the best in the world at what you do. Don't be a jack of all trades with all the knowledge spread out all over the place. You know, you can be a mile wide in an inch deep in all of your knowledge, or you can be an inch wide in a mile deep. The inch wide and a mile deep, those are the highest paid people in the world.

17:25And so it's about the depth of your knowledge, the depth and how deep you can go, not the distance of all of the things that you know. And most importantly, what's important about this is to do what feels right to you. No one can compete with you on being you. And that's why it's insane when people's parents try to tell them what they should do. Because your parents have no idea what feels right to you. This is your job. This is your thing that you're going to be doing. And so you've got to get really curious. And that's the best way of making money is to find something that you love to do. You want to invest your time in.

17:55You want to develop yourself. And you become worth more money in the marketplace. And so really what it's about is first off is discovering that for you. So that's more on the side of how to make money. That's step number one. Learn how to make money. Then step number two is once you start making money, you have to learn how to save money. This is the biggest mistake that I see people when they start making money. They change their standard of living almost immediately. They get a big check, they go buy a Rolex. They get a big check, they go to the Gucci store, right? As you start making more money, do not change your standard of living.

18:31Make a budget. Figure out what money goes in every single month, what money goes out every single month, how much surplus is required, how much are your bills and how much are your living expenses, and then whatever surplus you might have after that. You can give yourself whatever it is that you want to go have fun, to eat out, to buy some cool stuff, but then have a certain amount like, hey, we stop at this amount. Everything over that is saved. Saving is also a skill set. Do you need it or do you want it? There's not a wrong answer. If you want something, you can still buy it if you want. Just you have to decide like what's your threshold of this is how much with bills and how much with fun is how much I'm going to spend every single month.

19:17And everything over that, no matter what, I won't break my rules. Everything over that is going to go into a bank account and I'm going to save it. and I'm not going to be able to spend it. And it requires work. It requires knowledge. It requires you getting better at it because it is a game and it is something that you need to learn. But really what it is, is how can you learn it? How can you get better at it? And so that's the second thing is learning how to save it. And then the third thing, so you learn how to make it, you learn how to save it. And then the third thing, these are all just different skill sets that you build over time, is you learn how to invest your money and you have your money make you money.

19:51This takes knowledge. It's something that must be learned. And this is how you start to remove yourself from being required to work. True wealth is built from assets that make you money while you sleep. And so you can invest your money into markets, like the stock market and different markets if you want to. And that makes you money over time. You can invest your money into companies and that can make you money over time. All without showing up. Now, is there risk? Absolutely. No matter what, investing involves risk. Are there riskier things? Yes. Are there less risky things? Yes. And so what you do is as you start making money, as you start saving money, is you start getting really knowledgeable about whatever interests you the most of how you want to have your money make you money.

20:42Once again, true wealth is built from assets that make you money while you sleep. And this is something that's done. This is the key, everybody over decades, not months, years and years and years and years down the road is when you start to see the biggest returns happening. And so this isn't something where you're like, I'm going to figure out how to get really good. And if you want to, you could do this. I have no, no trouble. I want to get really good at crypto. You can, but the people who are looking for like home runs immediately are usually the people that strike out three months down the road and lose all of their money.

21:17That's just what I've seen from a lot of different people. And so if you realize, like we were taught as children, be the tortoise and not the hare, right? Be the tortoise. Slow and steady wins the race. So it's something that's done over decades and not months. And years and years and years down the road is when you're going to start to see those big returns. And then the last tip I'll give you, so that's the step one, step two, step three. But the last tip that I'll give you that I have seen people really mess up with and then seen other people succeed with is to seek wealth, not status. What I mean by that is wealth is when you're able to make money, to save money, and to invest your money so that your money is making you money without you having to show up.

21:59If that doesn't make sense to you as far as how to get there, that's something that you need to just try to learn and try to get better at. Don't seek status. You can buy things if you want to, but don't let that be your driving force because that's a game I promise you that cannot be won. to keep up with the Joneses, to try to impress people, to buy things to put on Instagram. My wealth manager, I had a conversation with him and he's like, I know people that make $5 million a year and they save none of it. So they have to keep making that money in order to keep up with the lifestyle that they have.

22:32Impressing people, keeping up with the Joneses, buying things to impress other people. All of that is just a losing game. It will only keep you in the money game longer. And so ultimately, what you want to start thinking to yourself is how can I free myself from the game where I can keep playing if I want to? And I probably will because I need something to do with my time. And it's also fun to me because I've found something that I'm curious about and I'm passionate about. But ultimately, what I'm trying to do is be able to remove myself from the game if I decide I want to. So ultimately, those are the three steps to developing wealth.

23:04And hopefully this episode allowed you to see things a little bit different as far as your perspective around money, but also how you can do it. And once again, this isn't something that you do in months. This is something that you do in decades. Slow and steady wins the race. But if you just decide that you want to do this, you will get better, you will improve, and you will be able to remove yourself from the game of money. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a huge favor. Share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in it. Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

23:34The only way this podcast grows is from you guys actually sharing it out there however you can. And so it really means a lot to me when you share the podcast for more people to find it. And that's how we learn and grow and continue to help the world improve, hopefully. So if you would do that, I would greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.