Stop All The Bullsh*t

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a favor. Give us a rating and review however you listen to us because the more positive rating reviews that we get, the more that Spotify and Apple Podcasts actually show this podcast to people who have never listened to it before, which allows us to grow and expand and impact more people. So if you would do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it.

0:33Today, we're gonna be talking about stopping all the bullshit. Yep, we're gonna go there. We're going to talk about how to stop all the BS that goes on in your mind all day long and holds you back from creating the life that you truly want. And I'm going to give you a tip that one of my mentors gave me a couple years ago that is so ridiculously simple, but helps so much whenever you notice yourself getting caught up in all of the BS. And one of the things that I hear most from people is how they're not doing what they need to do. They're not taking the action that's required to create the life that they want to because simply something of the going on in their mind, whether it's fears, whether it's limiting beliefs, whether it's, you know, creating a future in their mind that they're afraid of.

1:20They're not creating the life that they want simply because of what's going on in their mind. And I want you to realize, think about this for a second. What's the biggest thing that you're afraid of? Like, what is your number one fear that is holding you back from creating the life that you want? Think about that. Bring it to the front of your mind real quick. Do you want to know a secret about that thing? Do you want to know a secret of how to overcome it? Let's tell you this. Do you want to know a secret to overcoming your biggest fear? I'm not talking about like the fear of spiders or the fear of heights.

1:44I'm talking about like the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of not being good enough, fear of other people's opinions or judgment, whatever it might be. None of it is real. The secret to overcoming it is you can't because you cannot overcome something that does not exist. The only thing that you start doing is stop paying attention to it. Stop creating the fear. stop. The only problem is that you have a problem. You have created the problem. The only problems that exist in your world are the problems that you have created. And so when you really start to think about that, you take a step back, you realize that the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of other people's opinions, the fear of judgment, the fear of not being good enough, you cannot hold them physically in your hands.

2:22And if you can't hold them physically in your hands, they're not real. They're not tangible, which means they're just a figment of your imagination. Isn't that crazy? The only problem are the problems that you're creating in your own mind. And so you're holding yourself back from creating the life that you want. If you don't know, like I've worked with, you know, over the past 17 years, many, many different people. I've worked with a lot of business owners and consulted with business owners and had masterminds around business owners and helping them grow. And one of the things that I noticed with them is that the reason why their business is not growing and scaling to the capacity they really want it to is because of them.

2:55They are the bottleneck, nothing else, not the government, not shipping costs, none of those things. They are the problem in their business. They're the bottleneck. And so the bottleneck usually comes from things in their mind. And this isn't just for business owners. This is for everybody. But it's things like overthinking. It's things like negative self-talk. It's things like, what do I deserve to be successful? What do I deserve to create the life of my dreams? It's too many fears in their head. It's afraid of what the future might hold. It's being scared of not being accepted by other people.

3:31It's not wanting to stand out. It's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just a bunch of BS. And it's all just completely made up in their head. Overthinking, you can't physically hold it. Negative self-talk, you can't physically hold it. Fears that are sitting inside of your head, you can't hold it. Afraid of what the future might be, can't hold it. Scared of not being accepted, can't hold it. Not wanting to stand out, you can't hold it. You So that shows you it's not really right in front of you. Like when I'm looking at my hands, I can see my hands. My hands are real.

4:03My hands are here. They are physically in this universe. But my thoughts, I'm just creating them. And so if I'm creating them, I'm creating them. If I'm creating them, maybe I should either stop creating them or I should create new ones because I am creating my thoughts. You are creating your thoughts. So if you don't like your thoughts, change your thoughts. Stop creating the ones that you have. And because of this, because of what's going on in people's heads they wake up and they think about what they don't want immediately. They think about that they don't want to wake up. They think about they want to sleep in.

4:35They think about that they don't want to have a crappy day today. They think about that they don't want to feel worthless today. They think about how they don't want to fear failure today. They think about what they don't want, what they don't want, what they don't want, what they don't want, what they don't want all day long. That doesn't really give you much space to create the future you want, does it? When you are thinking about what you don't want all the time, there's no space to think about what it is that you do want to create the future that you want. Because you will end up somewhere in life.

5:05Like five years from now, if we're all blessed to be here in five years, hopefully we are. Hopefully I am. Hopefully everyone listening to this is going to be here in five years. You will be somewhere. Where you are in five years is going to be solely based off of what you think about and the actions that you take. Sure, there's some circumstances. There's some things that could happen to you that are outside of your control. There's weather. There's things that happen, all that type of stuff. There's things that happen that are outside of your control, but 99 % of it is in your control as far as what you think about and also what you do.

5:41You'll end up somewhere. And where you end up is solely based on whatever it is that you do, whether you actively realize it and work on it or not. But most people usually don't actively work on themselves. They usually don't actively work on what's going on in their mind. They usually don't pay attention to every single thought that goes through their head. And where you are right now is because of all the actions that you took in the past. Where you are right now is based off of, you are where you are right now because of all the actions that you took in the past. There's no one else to blame.

6:10If you're one of the people, I used to be this way, that makes excuses all the time and blames everybody else for why they aren't where they want to be. I was that person for a very long time. I'm going to just tell you as a recovering excuse-aholic and as a recovering person who blamed everybody else, there is no one else to blame. If you like where you are, it's because you took good actions in the past. Awesome. High five. Hell yeah. Great job. If you don't like where you are, it's because of the actions that you took in the past. You might not have taken the right actions. Maybe you took the wrong actions.

6:43Maybe you decided to take the easy route and now you're kicking yourself in the ass for taking the easy route because you decided not to take the hard route that was challenging, that was outside of your comfort zone, that required you to grow into a new version of yourself. But all the worries and all the fears and all the limiting beliefs and all the overthinking, it's all in your head. That's where it is. That's where it lives. None of it is in this reality. You think that it is because it feels like it is, but it's not. It's all false. It's all in your mind. It's not physical. It's not in this reality.

7:15It's on your head. So let me give you a tip. talk to yourself the moment that you start to notice the thoughts that you don't enjoy out loud as if you're talking to somebody else. So talk to yourself in the moment out loud as if you're talking to someone else. Let me explain what I mean by that. You know, sometimes you ever have a night where you wake up, you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and you have a thought come into your head about work or your to-do list or something you forgot to do. and you're going to the bathroom and one thought comes into your head. And then you lay back down because you had that one thought, it brings another thought, it brings another thought, it brings another thought.

7:52And now you're up for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour sometimes. This has happened to me many times where I wake up, go to the bathroom, and then I'm sitting in bed and I'm thinking about all the stuff we got to do, all the podcasts we got to record, stuff we got to do for the team, all of these things that are just coming up down the line, events that we're going to be starting to do in person, all these ideas and all of these to-do lists and everything comes into my head. And once my brain clicks into the mode of work, of get stuff done, of creativity, it's off like a horse race. Like it's really hard to stop it.

8:25My brain can go into to-do lists. My brain can go into ideas. My brain can go into, oh shit, I forgot to do this. The things I need to do, the things I forgot to do, ideas. and sometimes I'll be laying in bed. This doesn't happen as much as it used to. About a year or two ago, it was happening a little bit more. But it was literally like I'd be in bed and then it would happen once every couple months. I'd wake up and then I'd be up for two hours. Two hours would pass. I can't fall back asleep. One of my mentors taught me this tip when I told him about it. And I was like, that's not going to work.

8:58I was like, that's so simple that it's stupid. And he's like, just try it, man. Try it next time and just see how it goes. And he said, say out loud to yourself, not right now. When you start noticing your brain, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Say, not right now. I was like, all right, I'll give it a shot. And guess what? It works. It's so stupid and so simple. Somehow it works. And sometimes the thoughts are gone and I fall asleep. And sometimes I have to say, not right now. And then I get another thought. I'm like, not right now. And I get another thought. I'm like, not right now. And I have to say it a few different times.

9:34And eventually it's like, it's like, you know, telling your dog to sit and it sits and it sits back up and it sits, sits back up and telling it to sit, it sits back up. And eventually it's like, all right, fine. We're just going to play this game. I'll just lay down. That's kind of how your brain ends up working. And since I've learned this, I explain this to so many different people and it's worked for them. And then I've used it in other areas of my life. And so you can try it, not just in this waking up and going on to-do lists as if there's someone else in the room. It might sound a little bit weird, but you talk to yourself as if there's somebody else in the room and you stop in the middle of all of the negative self-talk and say, that's not true.

10:08Stop lying to me. I don't accept the words that you're saying. And you literally speak physically into this universe the words that you want to say versus what you've been saying in your head. That's not true. Stop lying to me. I don't accept the words that you are saying. And you talk to yourself. If you're saying, oh, you're such a, you're so unlovable and you're saying in your head, you're so unlovable. It's like, I'm not unlovable. I do deserve love from other people. and you actually physically out loud speak to other people, speak to other quote unquote, the way that you speak to other people is your way you're going to speak to yourself out loud.

10:42You know, if you own a business and you're sitting there, you think about how the business might fail. Oh, my business is going to fail because, you know, my other business has failed. So many people do this. Oh, it's going to fail because I'm not qualified. I'm not smart enough. I don't know what I was thinking when I started this business, but you're sitting inside right now. Your retail shop's doing fine. Your lights are on. You're paying the bills. It's BS. Stop the BS in the moment. This is not true. I do not accept this. This is an imagined future of this business failing, and I do not accept the business failing.

11:15This business will succeed. And you talk to yourself out loud the words that you want to reprogram yourself to believe. Bring the facts into your brain, not the imaginary. You know, like a lot of people, like I said, like you'll be sitting inside of your retail shop. It's doing fine. You're paying the bills. Maybe you're not a multimillionaire inside of your retail shop, but you're paying the bills. Lights are on. Things are going pretty decent. You're able to pay a couple employees. You're able to keep your bills paid at home. And you start thinking about failing and failing and failing and failing and failing.

11:46Bring the facts to your brain, not the imaginary. The business is not failing right now. The bills are paid. Bring yourself to the present moment where everything is okay. Everything is just fine. You are safe the way that you are. If you're starting to get anxious about something, you know, another way you can use this, if you notice yourself getting anxious, first off, anxiety comes from you imagining a future. So your anxiety is coming because you're imagining some sort of future. No one has anxiety because they're imagining an amazing future. They have anxiety because they're imagining a future that is scary to them.

12:21Stop the BS in the moment. The future that you're imagining is not true. What do you say to yourself? This is not true. Right now, I am safe. right now I am 100 % safe. And right now I am grateful for whatever it is that you're grateful for. Right now I am grateful for my family. Right now I'm grateful for my health. Right now I'm grateful that I woke up this morning. Stop the BS in the moment and out loud talk to yourself with the stuff that you want to actually believe that is the truth. You've got to stop it while it's happening. You've got to learn to bring yourself to the present moment. Stop imagining these fake futures that don't exist because everything is fine in the present moment.

12:56Right now you are okay. Right now you are fine in this present moment. And you might say, oh, but I'm worried about paying my bills next week. That's next week. That's not today. Not in this present moment. That's next week. So what can you do right now to get yourself in a good state so that you are going to be able to pay your bills? And worrying ain't going to pay the bills. I've never seen somebody be able to pay their bills with, you know, worry. Being right in this moment allows you to be able to take action to help you pay the bills. You've got to be able to stop all of the BS. Realize that you are the person that's holding you back.

13:32You are the reason why you're not where you want to be. You can be your greatest enemy or you can be your best friend. And it usually comes down to you paying attention to what you're thinking, paying attention to what you're saying, paying attention to the future that you're imagining, paying attention to every little thought that goes through your head. If you could understand the magnitude that your thoughts have on the actions that you take, the way that you feel, the life that you create, the future that you create, you would have a hardcore filter on every single thought that goes through your head.

14:06So stop all the BS. Right now, none of this is true. Stop lying to yourself. This is all imagined. You're safe. And when you notice those pesky thoughts, pesky thoughts, pesky thoughts, push them away. Not right now. Nope. Not right now. We're not doing this right now. Go away. Not right now. Going back to sleep. Not right now. I'm trying to be productive. Not right now. I'm trying to get a work in it. Not right now. None of this is true. Stop lying to yourself. This is what I believe. And you start talking to yourself out loud the way that you actually want to talk to yourself in your head. So that's what I got for you for today's episode.

14:42If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. we just had over 500 ,000 people that followed me on there so if you want some extra tips and tricks on how to improve yourself and get better go ahead and follow me on instagram as well once again it's rob dial jr r-o-b-d-i-a-l-j-r and i'm gonna leave it the same way i leave you every single episode make it your mission to make someone else's day better i appreciate you and i hope that you have an amazing day