The Addiction of Overthinking

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a huge favor real quick. Take out your phone, go to however you're listening to this podcast and give us a rating or review on those platforms. The more positive ratings and reviews that we get on those platforms, the more that those platforms show this podcast to people who have never listened to it before.

0:34So it allows us to grow and impact more people's lives. Today, we're going to be talking about overthinking. And we're going to be talking about how so many people, probably you and probably me as well, are addicted to overthinking. And so when you actually start to think about overthinking and the process of it, really what it comes down to is why do we overthink? And so let's go back real quick. I want to actually talk about something that's a really good book that I love. It's a book called The Power of Now. And what he talks about is kind of in his spiritual awakening, he got to a moment where he was kind of considering suicide.

1:10And he thought to himself this sentence that kind of freed him from, I guess it started his spiritual journey. And the sentence that freed him was, I can no longer live with myself. And so he thought to himself that he was thinking about suicide and he thought to himself, I can no longer live with myself. And that sentence kind took him out of his own head and was able to look at it from a different perspective. And he thought, if I cannot live with myself, then there must be kind of like two of me in here. There's the I and there's the self that I cannot live with. Only one of them is real. And so there's the I, which is your true self, who you truly are.

1:57And then there's the self, which is your conditioned self, who you've built yourself into being over years, who you were taught to be, who society taught you to be, who your parents taught you to be, what is right, what is wrong, what your religion taught you to be. And the interesting thing about the I is there's nothing that you can do or not do that can add or subtract from who you actually are. If I asked you, who are you? You would start to list all of the things that you think that you are. Oh, I'm a mother. I'm 43 years old. I'm an HR specialist. My name is Sally. But none of those are who you are behind all of it.

2:34Because when you were born, you weren't a mother. When you were born, you weren't 43 years old. When you were born, your name wasn't Sally. That's what someone said that your name was. When you were born, you weren't an HR specialist. And so the I is the true self that's behind all of it. And the self is a false construct of the mind. Your thoughts are not you. You are not your mind. Now, this can really be a shot at your ego, but so many of us are so stuck in our heads and we overthink so much that we think there's something wrong with us. But you have to be able to disidentify yourself from your mind.

3:11Your mind is like a tool. That's the way that you want to think about it. Just like a hammer. When you need to hammer in a nail, you're going to go find a hammer. But if I give you a screw, there's a better tool for that. It's a screwdriver. But if you think about this, you know, it's like me saying, another example of you are not your mind, it's kind of like me saying you are not your big toe. It's just a part of you. So why don't you learn to start observing yourself and observing your thoughts asking yourself if you actually are those thoughts and then disidentifying yourself from those thoughts in anything that you don't want to be.

3:52Because all of your thoughts create your reality. So start observing your thoughts. Start observing and changing your thoughts so that you can change your reality. What it comes down to is that overthinking is an addiction. What is an addiction? It's something that you can no longer control. It's something that controls you. And so, you know, example I always give people and if you're not able to watch me on YouTube. You can't see me, but I'm taking my right arm and my right arm is flailing all over the place. Then it's moving all over. And what if I went out and I was talking with somebody and my right arm was going all crazy and they'll look at me and they're like, what's going on with your arm?

4:26I'm like, oh, my arm's just going crazy. I have no control over it. That would be kind of crazy, right? Because my arm, besides the fact of me having some sort of neurological disease or issue there, my arm should be able to be controlled by myself because it is a part of me. And so it's the exact same thing with your mind. Your mind might be like your arm flailing all over the place where you've been letting it run all over the place, but it doesn't mean that you can't start to control it. You can't start to work through it. So if it is overthinking too much, it's something that you can work with.

5:01It's not something that has to be that way forever. And in fact, if you actually, I always say this, like overthinking is only a problem when you're overthinking about all of the negative things in your life and all the things you don't want. But if you were sitting around waking up and you were like, I was like, man, what's your problem? And you're like, oh, I'm overthinking all of the beautiful things in my life. That would never happen. So what you need to start doing is realizing there is you, there is your true self. There is the I that is there. And then there is the I that is behind it.

5:29And then there is the self, the one that you have built. You could also say another way of saying I is your true self. Your sense is where it gets, you know, the words kind of get into it, right? There's the I, which is the true self. And then there's the self, which is the conditioned self, who you've built yourself into being. And so when you have the I sitting in the background and sitting there, you can start to watch the thinker, the voice that you hear inside of your head. We all have a voice that's always going on inside of your head. And if you're sitting there going, I don't have a voice that's going on inside of my head, that's the voice that I'm speaking of.

6:05We all have a voice that's always constantly going. It's narrating our lives. It's telling us stories. and we all have the ability to stop that voice when we become more aware of it and to start to observe it. You don't have to identify with it. This is why meditation can be so hard for so many people is because we sit down to meditate and our brain just doesn't stop. And we think that the problem is that I can't turn my brain off and I can't stop thinking. But that's not how you're supposed to meditate. When you talk with monks and you talk with people who are over in India and gurus, they say that the point of meditation is not to stop thinking or stop the mind.

6:44The point of meditation is to observe your thoughts, to take a step back, to become the I, and to look at what the self, the conditioned self, is thinking and saying at all points in time. And maybe there's too much worry in everything. If you worry about the future, it's based on your past and it's based on your conditioned mind. The result is you're viewing the future through the eyes of your past and it distorts your view a little bit. Your mind can be your own worst enemy, but it can also be your best friend. And so let me show you something. Test this with me, okay? If you're driving, please don't do this because you're going to have to close your eyes.

7:21But if you're at home and you're putting on your makeup and you're listening to me or you're in the shower or you're making food or whatever you might be doing, if you're in a safe place, do this for me. Just close your eyes and I want you to see a red triangle. I want you to see that red triangle right in front of you. And I want you to see it. It can be, try to make it as clear as you can. It might be a little bit clear. It might be very foggy, but just try to see a red triangle. And then what I want you to do is I want you to change it to a blue square. Can you see a blue square in front of you?

7:58So see the blue square. Try to see the edges. Try to see whatever it is that might be right in front of you. Just pretend it's right there. And then open your eyes. The observer of the red triangle and the blue square is the same observer of your thoughts all day long. You can look at the red triangle, you can create the red triangle, and you can let them come and go. You can decide to change it from a red triangle to a blue square. The same thing you can also do with your thoughts. so the same way that you're not the red triangle you're also not your thoughts but you can go you know what i don't want to look at a red triangle anymore i want to look at a blue square and you can start to change it the same way that you could say i don't want to be negative inside of my head anymore i want to be more positive i don't want to talk down to myself i want to give myself more self-love.

8:55It is that easy to change. It just requires you to be more intentional of observing your thoughts as much as you possibly can. You must think consciously, consciously think, and consciously view your thoughts. Like that's what you have to start consciously thinking and constantly viewing your thoughts. Because most of the time it's all unconscious thoughts. and when you actually start to think about it you say you know what i can probably change it my unconsciousness my unconscious thoughts i'm going to try to make them conscious like maybe an example right right now you are unconsciously breathing but now that i'm saying it i'm going to say consciously breathe i can change from unconscious to conscious the same way that i am unconsciously thinking throughout the day.

9:44And now I can consciously start to think when I say that. You can as well. You can free yourself from your mind. You can be there. You can observe it. You can change your thoughts that you do not want. But don't judge. Don't judge your thoughts. Don't guilt yourself. Don't shame yourself. But just disidentify with them. You're not them. If you quote unquote overthink, no big deal. Your brain will not stop thinking. That's not something that you're going going to be able to do. You don't want your heart to stop, right? You don't want your lungs to stop breathing. Why? Because both of those, your heart is made to beat.

10:20You don't want it to stop. Your thoughts, I'm sorry, your lungs are made to breathe. That's what it's made to do. Your brain is made to think. So when you watch or listen to your thoughts, you become aware of your thoughts just as you become aware of what's going, just as the thinker that comes in and you just watch. Watch the thinker a little bit. Start to watch and be interested. Why do I think that way? Why do I say that to myself? Where did that come from? And just start to become very curious of yourself. And then start to realize, like I keep saying it over and over and over again, that you are, because I'm trying to really brainwash it into your brain.

10:59You are not your thoughts. You're not. And when you realize that you're not your thoughts, your thoughts will lose power over you. So how do you start to get more control over your mind? Well, when you do some mundane task, I want you to bring your mind to that present moment and moment of focus on it. So let's say that you are washing your hands. That's just some really mundane task. We all wash our hands. Hopefully you wash your hands. I go into some men's bathrooms and men go pee and then they just walk the hell out. I'm like, that's gross, dude. I'm not shaking that guy's hand ever, right?

11:31So hopefully you're out there and you're washing your damn hands. And when you wash your hands and you're doing something really mundane, just try to bring your conscious awareness to it. Instead of thinking about something else that's off in the distance, because our mind always tries to go somewhere else, bring your mind here. Try to train it to be more present. So you've got, what do you got? You got the sound of the water. Bring your mind here. Can you hear the water as you're washing your hands? What else do you have? You have the smell of the soap. Can you try to smell the soap? You got the warmth of the water.

12:04all of those things are in the present moment. When you bring your senses into paying attention to something that you're doing, you're bringing your mind to the present moment and not allowing your mind to run all over the place, right? When you're creating food and you're sitting in your kitchen, you're starting to create different recipes, put them together, notice the smell. Don't think about what you have to do next, just notice the smell. Notice the heat coming from the oven. Notice the sounds that you hear. Start to bring yourself more consciously here. When you go and you're done cooking the food, you're eating the food, notice what you feel and try to bring your mind to be here when you're doing those things.

12:42Notice when you're sitting down in your chair, what it feels like. Notice the fork in your hand. Notice the taste in your mouth. It's essentially living through the eyes of a three-year-old, the place that we all want to get back to that beautiful, innocent, right? It's just like, you're so innocent at that point. Innocence is what we're trying to get back to, which is you've seen a three-year-old. They're like, oh, like they're looking everywhere. Everything's amazing. They're just like, they're here. That's what we're trying to get back to. And so what I want you to do is I want you to disidentify with your mind.

13:14Your sense of self should not come from your mind. It shouldn't because it's not who you are. You're none of those things. You are, you are here and you were a person way before you were given a name, way before you had a job, way before you had kids, way before you had accomplishments, way before you had anything else. That's what we're trying to get back to. And I understand it could be a shot at your ego. It could kind of wake people up. They're like this, it's kind of clicking, but it's not fully clicking. I get it. You might have to listen to this again, but it's a shot at the ego because the ego is a false sense of your mind.

13:44It's a false construct of the mind. And your ego is based off of your past. And it's hard to let go of because then we start to think about, well, who am I then? Because we want to know who we are. We want to have something to identify with. So it's hard to let go because your ego is really like, well, I am this person. I do love playing pickleball. I do like driving my car. I am a HR specialist. Do you need extra thoughts? Like, do you need extra proof that you're not your thoughts and your thoughts are not you? If you stopped thinking, would you still be alive? Would you? If you stopped thinking, would you still be alive?

14:23Yeah, of course. So therefore, thoughts are not something that... Thoughts are just something. Let me put it a better way. Therefore, thoughts are just something that your body does. The same way that when you eat food, it digests it. The same way that when you smell something that you like, your mouth starts to salivate. It is just something that your body does. The problem is that we develop these narratives of this is who I am. And so if you're really, if you have talked shit to yourself in your own head, then that's what's going on in your head. The same way that, you know, you're breathing, it's just something that's going on in your head.

14:58But then what happens is we develop a story around what's going on in our head. And then we start to say, well, I'm just really mean to myself. And then when we, because so something's happening, it's something's happening inside of our head, we develop a story, this word gets real crazy, we develop a story around what's happening, and then we make that our identity. When in reality, it's just something that we're doing. Yeah, you're talking a little bit negative to yourself. Now you're saying, you're creating a story and a narrative around it. I am mean to myself. Now, after you've done that and you do it long enough, you start to create an identity around that and a personality around it, around being mean to yourself.

15:36So the thing I want you to do is to extract yourself from it. Realize that is not you. That's just something that your body does. Same way that you're breathing. It's just something that your body does. you are not your thoughts. You're not. And so what I want everyone to kind of do is to start to disidentify yourself with your mind. If you're driving and you turn this off and you just start to sit in some silence and you notice that you're starting to worry on your way to work, that's not you. That's just something that you've been conditioned to do. You've done so much worrying over the course of your life.

16:08It's just easy for you to slip back into worrying. That's not you. That's not who you are. No big deal. Let the mind do that. Or you could do the same thing as a red triangle and the blue square. Hey, I don't want to worry anymore. I'd rather enjoy my ride. Let me just think about what I'm grateful for right now. What makes me happy? What can I be grateful for? You know what I'm grateful for? I'm grateful for my kids. I'm grateful that I have this car that I'm driving in. There's people on the side of the road I can see right now. They're sitting at a bus stop. At least I have a car. And we can just decide in the moment to change the thoughts.

16:40And if we can decide to change the thoughts, that means that it's not us. The same way that if I don't like that I'm wearing a blue shirt, I can go ahead and turn into a white shirt. I'm not the blue shirt. I'm not the white shirt. It's just a choice. And so you can choose to change your thoughts. You can choose to change your breath. You can choose to change all of that. And so really what it comes down to is disidentify yourself with your mind. Overthinking is not a bad thing because you cannot overthink. You're thinking of the exact same pace as everybody else. It's just your problem is you're thinking about things that you don't want to think about anymore.

17:13So disidentify yourself from your mind, start to ask yourself, what thoughts would I prefer? And then once you've become very aware of something, the next thing after awareness is practice. Start putting into practice, oh, I noticed myself thinking negatively. What did I say I was going to do? I was going to bring myself to remind myself of three things that I'm grateful for and then start thinking positive. And that's the practice. When I notice my awareness, oh, it's clicking in again, because we're going to get lost all the time. Whoops, clicking in again. What am I going to do? I'm going to go back to three things I'm grateful for and then be positive.

17:42Oh, it's clicking in again. I'm being negative. What am I going to do again? Oh, I'm going to think about three things I'm grateful for and then I'm going to go back and being positive. And this is what it comes down to. If you do it enough over and over and over and over and over again, you actually start to repattern parts of the brain. I used to be really pessimistic when I was younger. I could give you every excuse in the book and I could tell you every reason why something wasn't going to happen the way that we want it to. And I was real negative. And then I just started repatterning it over and over and over again.

18:08And now I'm being honest with you. Like, it's just kind of hard for me to be negative. It's easy for me to just go the positive route, but it's just a repatterning of the way that we think. And what does that take? It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of intention and attention, but it's something that we can all do. So if you're addicted to overthinking, of course, we all are quote unquote addicted to thinking because it's something that we do all the time. but all of you have to really understand is that you're not your mind, you're not your thoughts. Change your thoughts and you'll change your life as well.

18:41So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories, tab me in at Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode, make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.