The Inner Game of Life

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to conquer your 2025 goals and New Year's resolutions, I just created a free ebook for you. It's 17 pages long with all of the information that you need on how to set your goals, how to plan your goals. And then at the end, it has a workbook at the end that you can work out your goals for the year. So if you want to dominate those goals and you want to get that for free, go to goals2025.com.

0:40That's goalswithans2025.com. Today, we're going to be talking about the inner game of life. And more than anything else, I just kind of want to chat with you today. I want to talk about you. I want to talk about me. I want to talk about life. I want to do this thing called living. I want to talk about this thing that we do, you know? And hopefully just shift your perspective a little bit about what all of this is about. Because life is great. It's amazing. It's basically a series of paradoxes, right? Life is both beautiful, but it is freaking brutal sometimes. It is amazing and it is hard. It is the best thing ever and it is the worst thing ever sometimes.

1:22And we're often caught in what's going on in the outside world. We chase success. We look for external validation from other people. We measure our own self-worth by our achievements. by the likes that we have, how many followers that we have. We figure out if we're good enough based off of other people's opinions of us. That's all external. And we're kind of raised to pay attention to the external, but the real game, like the one that matters the most, all of that happens inside of us. And some people never figure this out. In my entire podcast, every episode that I make is to try to bring you to the internal so that you can work on that more than you work on the external.

2:11The outer world, it's amazing. It's great. It can influence us in the way that we feel and the way that we act. But our inner game, the quiet moments, the unseen battles that happen inside of our minds, that is what ultimately shapes the quality of your entire life, not your external world, not what happens to you, not your situation, not your circumstances. It's what happens inside of you. The inner game is what this entire thing is all about. And so it's hard for us though, because as children, we don't look outside of us as children. Everything is happening outside of us. Like my son who's downstairs, he's five months old and he's not thinking to himself, huh, well, I wonder how I feel.

2:57Like he's looking at me, he's looking at my wife, he's looking at our dog, the toys, it's all outside because it's what he sees. And our parents, when we grew up as children, our, you know, as a child, your parents are basically the gods of your world as children. Our parents are external. We see them. And so from an early age, we basically learn, not like anybody's telling us we have to do this, but we learn to look outside of ourselves for all of the answers. And that becomes a pattern. We start to believe that happiness, that security, that fulfillment, all of those things happen from what happens to us in the external world.

3:38I'm only going to be happy if I achieve this thing. I'm only going to have security if I get this amount of money. I'm only going to feel fulfillment if I do this with my life. And so what do we do is we set goals and we make plans and we chase dreams along the way. And we try to convince ourselves that when we achieve X, then we will feel content. When I do this, then I will feel happy. When I get this, then I will feel better. When I make this amount of money, then I will finally be enough. When someone finally decides to be in a relationship with me and marry me, then I will be lovable. So something happens internally or externally, and we think, that's what I'm waiting for.

4:20It could be the perfect career. It could be the right relationship. It could be the love and acceptance of other people. It could be financial security. It could be buying a Ferrari. I don't know. It's different for every single person. When I finally get that thing, then I will finally feel happy, right? Right. Didn't we all think that growing up? Like once I get this, once I get that, once I get this, then I'll finally be enough. Then I'll finally feel good enough. The truth though, the external world, it's amazing, but it's also chaotic. It's unpredictable. And we control very, very little of what happens outside of us.

5:01As I always say, you want to control the world around you. You can barely control your bowels after Taco Tuesday, and you're trying to think that you could control the whole damn world, it's insane. If you're waiting for the world to be what you want it to be, and then you will be happy, then you will never find happiness and fulfillment because the world will never be what you want it to be. Why? Because shit happens. Life is unpredictable. People will come into your life. People will leave your life. People that you love will die. You will get heartbroken. You will lose your job. You will never be exactly what you want it to be.

5:45So happiness, when I get this thing, is never going to fully happen. Happiness is basically just a can that you're kicking down the road forever. Circumstances outside of you change all of the time. So then you need to wake up to this realization. The outside world will never stop shifting. The ground beneath your feet will never truly be solid. And if you see that, you go, that's interesting. Well, that's when you really realize that all of the true power lies within you. It's not out there. It's in here. It's the internal game is what it's all about. This is why you can see people who are absolutely successful and they've got everything that they want in their life and they're still miserable.

6:32The richest person I know, multi-multi-billionaire, is fucking miserable. He has everything. Everything that you think that you could want. Miserable. Why? Because it's not about the external. It's about the internal. All of that achievement, all of that money, all of those buying the coolest things in the world, doesn't make them feel any different inside. The real game to play is what's happening beneath the surface. It's in the quiet moments, in the way that we talk to ourself when no one else is around, in what we do when no one else is around. It's in the how we handle adversity, how we respond to challenges that life throws our way, the inner game, our mindset, our emotional resilience, our inner peace, all of those things, that's what actually dictates what we feel.

7:22That's what dictates how we experience life. Not the circumstances of your life. Not the circumstances. What goes on inside of you. And we will be right back. And now, back to the show. We always think, oh, the circumstances of my life dictate how I feel. No, no, no, no. It's not. It's what you think about the circumstance of your life. It's the internal game. It always has been, and it always will be about the internal game of life. You know, as I was talking about a minute ago, we've all met somebody or we're aware of somebody who has everything. They've got all of the wealth, all of the success, all of the recognition.

8:00Everybody thinks they're amazing, yet they can remain deeply unhappy, anxious, unfulfilled, unhappy. Some even commit suicide and they have everything that they want to in the world. They got it all. They quote unquote won the game. Well, it doesn't seem like it fixed anything inside of them, right? Sad, but it's true. They thought most likely, hey, when I get this thing, I'll finally get to where I want to be. I'll finally feel different. The external world will not make you feel any different. On the other hand, we've all met people who have faced incredibly hard things in life that have almost nothing.

8:39They've overcome the worst of the worst. And they might not have a whole lot. They might have nothing at all, but they're beyond happy or peaceful. They radiate joy and peace and wisdom. The difference isn't in their outer reality. It's their inner world. You know, I was telling you about the person I know that's a multi-billionaire. I've also been to third world countries and seen people who are a million times happier than him and they have nothing. So clearly it's not about what happens outside of us. It's what happens inside of us. But I do want you to understand that there is no destination to get to in this life.

9:16Like for me, I worked on myself for about 15 years of like, I just, one day I'll finally be happy. One day I'll finally be peaceful. One day I'll finally be past all of my BS. And then I woke up one day and I was like, oh, this isn't like a one and done kind of thing. This isn't like I'm going to get to a destination. It's a journey. This is something that you work on your entire life. This is a waking up in the moment to go, oops, hold on. I fell off track. Let me get myself back on track. Sometimes multiple times a day. That's not this permanent state of peace. It's something that you work at all the time.

9:54Like the quote that Greg Anderson has, he says, the pursuit of happiness is never ending. It's not a destination that you arrive at, but it is a way of traveling. It's not like, hey, I'm waiting. Like if I get in my car and drive to Dallas, I'm like, well, I can't wait to get to Dallas. I can't just work on myself and be like, I can't wait to get to happy. and then I'll be there and I'll be there forever. No, it's something that we work on. We cultivate every single day. That's the game that we're playing here. Every external conflict that we have is just a challenge for us to go back to the internal.

10:24This is the game. This is the only game to play right here. Don't get caught up in the puppet show that's outside of you. You know, life is up and down. It's all around. It's crazy. And it's not about what happens outside of you. It's what happens inside of you. Here's the simplest explanation of life that I can possibly give you, okay? If you were to zoom out and look at life from 50 ,000 feet, 100 ,000 feet, the simplest explanation of life is this. You're born, you have a sensory set of experiences, and you die. You're born, you have a sensory set of experiences, and you die. How you interpret and react to those experiences dictates the quality of your life.

11:06That's it. So if you want a better quality of life, it's not about changing the experiences. It's about changing how you interpret and react to the experiences that happen in your life. It's not about getting everything that you want because the world will never be what you want it to be. So it's not about getting all that you want and finally you'll be happy. It's about being in control and noticing how you react. It's about being the calm in the eye of the storm when shit hits the fan. This inner calm, it's just so you I want you to understand this. I'm not saying the inner calm is about pretending that everything is okay or just being in denial your entire life.

11:47That's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is no matter what happens to you, it's about developing this internal strength to remain grounded even when life is smacking you in the face. It's about being at peace even if there's chaos happening outside of you because you've built something stronger than within. It's like if you look like a redwood tree, redwood trees live for like 2 ,000 years. They get to like 300 or 400 feet. They're deep in the roots. They've been hit by hurricanes. They've been hit by tornadoes. They've been hit by everything you could possibly do. Nothing is going to knock down that redwood tree.

12:27That's what we're trying to become. No matter what happens, I'm peaceful. I will interpret and react to those things as they happen, but outside of me is not going to shift inside of me. And really, that's the main thing that I want you to come down to and understand within the podcast. That's why I create what I create, is that I hope that you get that from this podcast, from everything that I put out there, is that this is really what it comes down to. The quality of your life is the quality of your inner world. If your life feels like shit, it's because you need to look inside. This is what we need to work on.

13:04We spend so much time trying to craft a perfect life on the outside, which is fine. There's nothing wrong with that. What we tend to do, and I did this for a very long time, is we neglect our inner world. The quality of your life is not determined by what happens to you or what you own or what you do, but how you interpret and respond to what happens is what creates the quality of your life. It's the lens that you look through and what you see the world at that makes all of the difference. If you view life as something that is just happening to you, then you will be a victim for your entire life.

13:40But if you shift your perspective and understand that life is happening for you, then everything that you experience is an opportunity for you to grow. When things get as hard as they possibly can, that's an opportunity for you to grow. There's always lessons in the hardships. even at the hardest moments in your life, you can transform. I guarantee that if you went through something really hard 10 years ago, you don't want to go back to that moment, but you would never take that moment away because it grew you. It challenged you. It made you better. And this inner game of life is all we're here to work on.

14:12It's a lifelong journey. It's not about achieving some perfect state of enlightenment where you just sit down, you meditate, you become a light body, you start levitating and you disappear into a rainbow. It's about constantly growing, evolving, deepening your relationship with yourself, getting to know yourself a little bit better. Because when you feel grounded, when you get grounded within, life is way less chaotic. When you nurture the internal, there's no real need to worry about the external as much. When you develop self-love, you don't need external validation. When you cultivate this inner peace, the stresses of life really don't have the same grip on you anymore.

14:52You know, will things go up and down and all around? And will you make mistakes? And will things go crazy? Absolutely. But it doesn't mean that you can't just sit there for a moment and be like, you know what? I'm noticing what's happening. I'm going to start working on myself a little bit more. What is this bringing up within me? Life will always be filled with ups and downs, with twists, with turns, with everything. There's no escaping that. That's just the way that it goes. But what you can control, because you can very rarely control what happens outside of you. What you can control, what truly matters is how you navigate all of it.

15:23And the quality of your life will always come down to the quality of your inner game. And that is the work that's worth doing. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, if you feel like other people need to hear it, do me a favor, share it on your Instagram stories, tag me in at Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way this podcast goes is from you guys sharing it. So I'd greatly, greatly appreciate if you do. And once again, if you want to get better at setting, planning, and achieving your goals, go ahead and download my free ebook. Go to goals2025.com.

15:54Once again, goals with an S, 2025.com. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.