The ONLY Way To Stop Procrastinating

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast, do me a favor, share it with somebody. The reason why is because we grow every single time that you guys share it, and all we really wanna do is impact more lives. So if you would share it, I would greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm gonna talk to you about the only real way to stop procrastinating. I'm gonna say this first before we start, because you need to know, you're not procrastinating because you're lazy.

0:37You're not procrastinating because you're broken. and you're not procrastinating, and you're not doomed to be one of, quote unquote, those people that never follows through. Whatever you're dealing with, with your procrastination, I promise you, I have heard it many times over the last two decades of coaching people, of working with people. And I promise you this, you're normal. You're out there and you're going, there's something wrong with me. I'm one of those people who doesn't procrastinate. I don't know how to get past it. No, you've been beating yourself up over procrastinating. thinking that it might be just who you are and that there's no solution to this thing.

1:14But it's not true. There's definitely a solution. And I'm going to teach you today the biggest part of the solution, the main reason why you procrastinate. And it's not your willpower. It's not your schedule. You don't need some new productivity app or new planner or something like that. Really what it comes down to and what we're going to dive into today is it is your nervous system and it is your brain working together to stop you. And I'm going to talk to you about why that is. I'm going to talk to you about how to actually get past that. Because your nervous system and your brain are doing exactly what they're supposed to do.

1:49I want you to know this before we go any further. Procrastination is just protection. Get that burned into your brain. Procrastination is protection. So next time you find yourself procrastinating, ask yourself, what am I protecting myself from? and then you really need to start to understand yourself from there. There's a part of your brain that's called the amygdala, and its only job is to scan for threats and to keep you alive and not let you die. And the amygdala is one of the oldest parts of the human brain. It belongs to what neuroscientists call the limbic system, which is part of the quote-unquote reptilian brain, is what they call it, which is also called the primitive brain.

2:30These are structures in the brain that developed hundreds of millions of years ago. Can you imagine what life was like for our ancestors hundreds of millions of years ago? That's when the amygdala popped up to try to help them stay alive. But we don't deal with the same crap that our ancestors did. You know, we don't have to worry about a tiger coming out and attacking us. But when you sit down to write that proposal or to launch that business or to start the workout plan, or to speak your truth and put it out on social media, your amygdala lights up like a Christmas tree. And it says, warning, unknown territory.

3:10This is a threat. Keep this human safe. Do whatever you can to trick them to not do it. And then your body just floods with tension. You feel fear. Your thoughts start to spiral. Suddenly you feel tired or you feel hungry, or maybe you're just confused about where to start and you don't do anything. And we're like, oh, it's because I'm lazy. No, no, no. It's your brain trying to keep you safe. This is how, this is the reason why I say your fears will scream at you and your inspiration will whisper. Your system is literally louder. It's screaming danger, danger, danger when it's trying to protect you from something.

3:48And your brain doesn't care about your dream life when it thinks that you're actually under attack. And so what is it that you're really avoiding then? Let's go deeper into it because there's some subconscious stuff that we need to pull out. You're not avoiding the task. You're not avoiding writing the book, sending the email, putting yourself on Instagram, starting the business. You're not avoiding that. You're avoiding the fear in the emotion that's underneath it. You know, usually it's something like the fear of failure, the fear of judgment, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of being seen.

4:23the fear of success. Because success means real change. And so what do you do? Your brain and body trick you to doing nothing. And we call it procrastination. We call it laziness. But it's you being tricked by your brain. So you stall. You get your phone out. You scroll on Instagram for 45 minutes. You tell yourself, oh, I don't feel really good. I'll start on Monday. You find something else to do that's important around the house, but really not as important. so you find something else to do versus doing the thing you actually need to do. It's not a laziness issue. It's not a time management issue.

5:00It's a nervous system regulation issue. You just haven't made the action feel safe yet. And until you do, your brain will continue to slam on the brakes. No, no, no. This is a threat. This is a threat. Don't do this. And you don't consciously notice it. You only consciously notice, oh, I'm scrolling on Instagram. But subconsciously, your brain, your subconscious, your nervous system, your body are like, do not let this human do this thing because there is a threat out there. And you know, here's the truth. Like I work with a lot of really, really high performers. I've worked with NFL athletes.

5:35I've worked with some super high powered CEOs of multi-billion dollar businesses. I work with them. I train them. I train them on their minds. And they, the thing I know is about high performers. and if you're a person who is a high performer or wants to be, is that we always want to learn the next thing. We always want to get the next thing into our brain and understand the next hack. But in this situation, you don't need it. You don't need to download the productivity app to stop you from procrastinating. You don't need more motivation. You need safety. Ooh, that's sexy, isn't it? No, of course not.

6:14It doesn't sound sexy. I know. But this is the real shift that you need to understand inside of your brain if you really want to change your life. You don't need anything else if you're procrastinating except the feeling of safety. Because once your body believes and understands and knows it's safe to act, you stop waiting for permission. You stop overthinking. You start taking small steps in the right direction. And that's really what we're trying to do here. We're trying to make ourself understand, oh, I'm actually safe to do this. And once our brain and body know that, there's no reason to stop you.

6:54And so let me give you actual step-by-step process that will make action feel safe for you. Okay? So number one, you have to understand you got to work on your body before your brain. And so a lot of times we're like, I need to change my thoughts. I need to change my thoughts. No, no. What you really need to do before anything else is you need to change your body. You need to change your body. Your body needs to viscerally feel that you are safe and you are okay. Because when your fear response kicks in, your logic goes out of the window. And neuroscience shows this. This is why they say when emotions are high, logic is low.

7:28It's because when you actually have a high emotional or high fear, your brain actually stops sending as much blood flow to your prefrontal cortex, which is your decision-making part of your brain. And so you don't need logic. You don't need to think differently. You need to calm your damn body down before you can do anything else. You need to get out of your head and you need to get into your body. And so before you try to reason with your procrastination and with your laziness and with your doom scrolling, you got to move to your body first. So a couple ways you can do is you can stand up, you know, maybe you notice yourself, I need to go build my business.

8:04And then you're 15 minutes straight on Instagram and you're like, hold on, something's going on here and I feel really anxious to grow my business. I don't know if I really want to do it. it doesn't really feel safe, you need to stand up, you need to shake out your arms, shake out your legs, you know, act like an idiot. If no one's around, just move as much as you possibly can. And one of the ways you could do this as well, just shake everything out if you want to for a minute, two minutes. You can also do what's called tapping, where you can actually take your your lightly hit yourself with your fist all over your body, every single muscle on your body.

8:36And you could just do light tapping throughout your entire body. You can do after you do that and you get your body kind of moving and get some of the anxiety out of your body, do a minute of deep breathing. And the easiest type of breathing for people to remember is something that's called box breathing. It's just a box. So there's inhale, hold, exhale, hold. It's like a box. There's four sides to it. So inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and then start back over again. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. And so you get your body, you do the shakes, you do the breathing for two, three minutes.

9:19You'll already notice like, oh man, I'm starting to feel a lot more calm. Then here's what I recommend. If you don't have a cold plunge or you don't wanna take a cold shower, the fastest way to do this is to get a bucket or whatever it is that you have around your house or in your kitchen, fill it up with cold water and then fill all of the rest of it with ice. Let it, move it around for a minute or so and then take your face, you know, don't do this for too long because I don't want you to drown in a bucket of water in your kitchen, obviously, but take your face, put your face in it for a few seconds so that you're actually starting to wake your body up and you're completely changing your state from what it was earlier.

9:58And what you're doing when you do these types of things, you're trying to tell your body, we're not in danger. Like we're safe, let's go. And this is a really huge key because almost nobody does this. I don't know if I've ever heard anybody else teach this. This is just stuff that I've realized over almost 20 years of coaching people, is that it has nothing to do with the brain. It has everything to do with the conscious mind, I'll say. It has nothing to do with the conscious mind. It has everything to do with the subconscious mind and the way that it links up with your nervous system. But almost nobody does this, but it's the fear in your body that's holding you back.

10:34And so we need to understand. We need your body, I guess you could say, to understand. You're safe. You're not going to die. Okay, so that's number one. Number two, tiny tasks. The next thing that we need to do is we need to show it more safety. So your body feels more safe. We need to show that it's safe. And so we need to take teeny tiny steps in the right direction to show that there's no danger. No matter how small it is, we need to figure out some sort of way to show that there's no danger. I don't want you to write the book. I want you to write a really bad first sentence. You know, I don't want you to overhaul your entire life in your fitness program.

11:15Just drink a glass of water. I don't want you to do an entire workout. I just want you to take the first step on a walk. Just put your shoes on to go for that walk. If your brain thinks the task is a mountain, you want to give it a pebble. And then your brain goes, oh, it's not that bad. The smaller the task, the easier that it is to prove to your brain that the action will not kill you. You know, we're not trying to build Rome today. We're trying to lay one brick today. And so how can you make these mountains that we're making out in our head to seem like a pebble to our brain? So that's the second one.

11:51The third thing is once you start to understand yourself a little bit more and do this, you want to actually like name the fear, like find the fear and disarm the story. Because there's some sort of story that's happening in your unconscious mind. And you know, I want you to understand yourself more. I don't want you to just listen to podcasts and read books. Like I want you to truly understand yourself more over the next couple of years. There is a subconscious story that's playing under all of this and we need to find it because this pattern will happen over and over and over again until we find it and change it.

12:21And so you need to ask yourself, what am I really afraid of? Like, what am I afraid is going to happen if I do this? You know, if I fail at this thing, what does it say about me? You know, whose voice am I hearing when I meditate? Because our fears like to kind of thrive in the shadows, like they kind of disappear and we don't know that they're really there. We want to call them out. We want to put a spotlight on them to bring them out to the light because it's never as scary as we think that it is. And when we speak about it, it's like, oh, I'm really, I'm really making a mountain out of a pebble.

12:54And so if you have like, okay, I'm noticing the fear of failure. Like what if I fail? You know, the story is like something probably like, if I try and I fail, it proves that I'm not good enough. And this one's pretty sneaky for people. It sounds like perfectionism. It shows up in like endless planning and tweaking and waiting for the, you know, the quote unquote right time. And so you procrastinate. Why do you procrastinate? Because starting means risking failure. And failure to your subconscious, it's not just about the task, it's about your self-worth. And so whose voice is behind that? It might be a critical parent that expected perfection from you.

13:33It might be a coach or a teacher who made your mistakes shameful. It might be your own inner critic that you've trained over years and years and years of judgment. And so what do you want to do? The antidote is to ask yourself, if failure doesn't mean I'm broken, what else could it mean? Am I willing to grow and be okay with failing? Do I expect to fail on this journey? And you're trying to change your narrative around there by asking yourself questions to see a completely different perspective than you've been seeing. Another fear that pops up a lot is like, what will they think in some sort of way?

14:11fear of judgment, opinions, whatever it might be. And the story is like, if I put myself out there, people are just going to judge me and I'll get rejected. And this fear is really hard because, you know, we have this primal need to belong. And so in the moment where you want to put yourself out there, share your voice or share your ideas or share your truth, this fear will slam on the brakes. And so you procrastinate because taking action equals being visible. And visibility vulnerability means vulnerable. And when you have rejection, it equals massive danger to your nervous system. Oh my God, I'm not rejected.

14:46I need to be around people. I need to be accepted because there's that primal part of our brain that's like, I need to be in the tribe. And so there might be somebody else's voice behind it. You know, there might've been kids who bullied you for being different when you were a kid, the family member who mocked you when you were younger for your dreams, or the toxic ex or friend who made you feel like you were too much. And so the antidote in this situation is to ask yourself like, rejection from who exactly? What does rejection mean to me? Is rejection fatal? You know, am I still like, whose approval am I chasing?

15:19Do I even want that person's approval? And so that's number three. Number four is to connect to the why. Like you need a mission. You need a purpose. You need something bigger than you. Something that is bigger than the discomfort of starting. You need to ask yourself, like, what is this? Who benefits from me succeeding? Why was I born to do this? How will this change my family's lives? My very first mentor used to always tell me, my first coach that I hired when I was 19, said, when your why is strong enough, your how will reveal itself. And so when you think about quitting, remember why you started.

15:56Test number four, and the number five is to actually schedule failure time. This one's huge. It's a game changer. Make failing a part of your plan. Write 30 minutes of bad copy. Take 15 minutes to record a messy podcast episode. Take one hour to test stuff that you're scared of. No pressure, no outcome. It doesn't matter if you completely screw it up. This is just practicing showing up for yourself. You know, in my course Mindset 2.0, where I teach this type of stuff, the neurology of taking action and the psychology behind it, I call this fuck it up and figure it out, right? Because every time you show up, regardless of the results, you're teaching your nervous system that it's safe to try.

16:40And that's important. And so you really need to understand this. You're not lazy. You're just wired for survival. That's the real cure to procrastination is finding the safety. It's not some life hack. It's not another app. But deeply knowing how your brain and your body work together. and when you teach your nervous system that it's safe to start, it's safe to be seen, it's safe to fail, it's safe to suck a little bit and to not be good for a while. And you will get better over time and then your brain goes, it's safe for me to try these things because you're not here to live under some sort of fear.

17:16You're here because you're supposed to build some sort of life that excites you, that helps you and helps other people, even if it does scare you. And so I really want you to understand that this is the thing that you need to do if you're trying to stop procrastinating. So if you love this episode, like I said, this is the type of stuff that I really do dive really deep into much, much deeper in my 12 week course. It's called Mindset 2.0. If you want to learn more about Mindset 2.0 and the 12 week course, you can go to coachwithrob.com. Once again, coachwithrob.com. And with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode.

17:50Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.