The Psychology of People Who Are Too Aware

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1:49Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast and you want to learn how to create the perfect morning routine, you can go to theperfectmorningroutine.com. I just created a free video and workbook to help you see the step-by-step process of creating the best morning routine based on science. So if you want that, once again, it's free at theperfectmorningroutine.com. Today, we're going to be talking about the psychology of people who are too aware.

2:24Because if I'm being honest, you were never supposed to know this much. And I don't mean like in a philosophical type of way. I mean like a neurological, biological, human type of way. You were not designed to wake up in the morning and within five minutes know what bad is happening across the world, what tragedy just hit another country, what somebody else on the Internet is doing or what they just bought or how much money they're making or what just some random stranger is doing with their life or how you happen to be behind, quote unquote, compared to everyone else that you've never met that happens to be on the Internet and still try to then feel OK for the rest of that day.

3:06And so in today's episode, it's not about being ignorant to the world and closing the world off completely. I want to get clear about that. It is about being better at consciously choosing what you allow into your awareness. So let's dive into it. when you look at your brain and you understand who you are as a human your brain was built for a tribe not the entire planet and in a tribe you're talking 50 100 maybe 150 people and for most of human history that's what we were aware of which is our our family our village the immediate environment that we were in that's it nothing else so if something bad happened that we knew about we were close enough to be able to help or we were close enough for us to know we need to run and get away and this is really really key for you to understand because now what's happening you're sitting on your couch and your brain is trying to process a tragedy that's happening in another country a political issue that you keep seeing a viral video a person who keeps putting up their highlight reel of their entire life.

4:19A negative comment from someone that's in another state. A headline that's designed to trigger you in some sort of way. And you can all of this like download it into your brain within minutes. And here's the thing that most people don't realize in this situation. Your brain, when it's getting all that information, the tragedy and the something happened in this place and something bad happened here and something bad happened to your favorite celebrity. Your brain doesn't fully distinguish between this is happening to me or this is happening close to me. It doesn't distinguish between that and this is happening somewhere else in the world.

4:57So what does it do? It activates the exact same stress response, the cortisol, which is your stress hormones inside of your body. Your nervous system will then tighten and your body prepares for a threat. But the problem with that is that there's no action. You were just sitting on your couch and you just happen to see something happen somewhere else in the world. So your body gets all stressed out, but then you're still laying on the couch. There's no real outlet at that moment for you to get rid of and your body to dump the cortisol. And so what does it do? It just builds up and it builds up inside of you.

5:34And if you've ever read the book, The Body Keeps the Score, your body is just storing all of this now. Because at that point, when you're reading something, you're sitting on your couch, there's almost nothing that you can do about most things. And you think about it, it's like, no wonder why anxiety has spiked 52 % in the past decade. It's honestly too much for our little brains to be able to handle. And so maybe we are too aware. Maybe we are too overexposed to what's happening everywhere else besides what's just happening in our own external environment within 15, 20 feet of us, right? And so here's where it gets really interesting when you actually get into it.

6:17Because I want to dive more into not being able to take action. A lot of people I know, I understand you're listening. She's like, I want to be aware. I don't want to be ignorant. And I completely agree with you in this situation. So I want to say the same thing I said just a minute ago. It's not about shutting yourself off to the world. It's not about being ignorant. It's not about acting like bad things don't happen and not at least trying to do something about them. It's about understanding something that's a little bit deeper here. There's a massive difference between awareness and consumption.

6:48So like right now, most people are not really aware. Like aware is not the word that I would use here. They are consuming. They are consuming other people's problems. They are consuming other people's outrage. They are consuming comparison of themselves versus somebody else. They're consuming negativity and then maybe creating negativity in their life, but not really able to do anything with it. And when that happens, something kind of subtle starts to happen in your own psychology. Like you will start to feel heavy. You'll start to feel overwhelmed. You'll start to feel anxious. You'll start to feel powerless because you're taking in emotional experiences because there's 8 billion people in the world.

7:34There's a lot of shit that's going to happen, but you don't really have an ability in your life to be able to resolve that situation. Do you see that? Do you really, really see that? Because when there's danger in front of you, like when you can see danger in front of you, you can run or you can fight and both of those two things are going to dump the cortisol that builds up in your body because of it and so you're able to clear the cortisol whether it's running or whether it's fighting both of them are going to release it but when you're sitting on the couch and you're just seeing all of the negative and you have to understand people engage and watch more negative which means the algorithms are going to show you more of that stuff and obviously the news knows this and they've been doing it for decades.

8:23They're going to show you more of it. So the news and social media are going to show you more of the negative versus the positive. You're seeing it, you're sitting on your couch and you have no real means of releasing that cortisol. So your body just holds onto it and it just stores it in some sort of way. And so I want you to understand awareness without action is kind of like emotional poison to your own body. and we will be right back. Hey, showing up for yourself day in and day out and doing the hard things is what creates a better life. And noon hydration helps you stay moving with the real deal.

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11:31The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash dial. netsuite.com slash dial. And now back to the show. And this is where most people get stuck because they feel like, you know, if I stop paying attention, then I'm a bad person. You get like, I get it. I understand that. Like, oh, if I'm just acting like all the bad stuff isn't happening, like I'm just trying to stay in my own little positive bubble. I'm a bad person. I get it. I understand what you're saying there. But here's the truth. Watching suffering is not the same as helping suffering. Watching suffering is not the same as helping suffering.

12:12Most people are just watching but not doing anything about it. Not because they don't want to because a lot of times they don't know what there is to do about it. And there's really sometimes no way to actually help. So knowing about every problem in the world does not make you more useful in this world. It often just makes you more exhausted. And then if you're exhausted emotionally, physically, spiritually, you're not showing up as the best version of yourself in the world for other people that are right in front of you. And so if we go deeper into this, this isn't just about the news, right?

12:43This isn't just about global problems. It's also social media. It's reality TV. For those of you guys that like watching reality TV, it's listening and watching watching every single murder podcast show and seeing murders happen all the time, right? It's watching other people's highlight reels and comparing it to your own life. It's what everybody else is doing and achieving and becoming and making you feel like you're not doing as much. And so you're being exposed to, we're all being exposed to more lives, more opinions, more comparison, more problems, more stimulation than any other humans in human history.

13:20And we honestly, brains, body, psychology just weren't built to hold all of that. Because now your brain is trying to process all of it as if it equally matters to you. But it doesn't really equally matter. In psychology, there's a thing that's called relevance distortion. And relevance distortion is when your brain treats everything that you're exposed to, like the news and social media and other people's lives as equally as important to your own life, even when it's not equally as important. So this explains why being constantly aware of everything happening in the world makes you feel overwhelmed.

14:01It makes you feel behind. It makes you feel emotionally drained because it feels like it is our problem, but a lot of times we can't do anything about it because your brain is misfiring and assigning meaning where it doesn't actually belong. and I want to challenge you a little bit here like this is going to challenge some people that are going to listen to it and hang with me on this okay and I really really want you to get this part because this is where the real work actually begins within ourself sometimes having constant awareness to the world paying attention to everyone and everything that's going on becomes a way to avoid our own awareness of ourself.

14:41Oh, shit, right? You know, it's a way for us to avoid the hard work that we need to put in in our own lives. And because it's easier, like think about it, it's easier to focus on what's wrong with the world, what's wrong with the politics, what's wrong with the other side, what other people are doing, oh, what society should fix. and then not do anything with our own self. It's easier to do that. It's easier to focus on the outside and what everybody else should do than it is to sit down in silence and ask like, what do I need to work on? Like, what am I still running from? What am I avoiding in my own life?

15:22What from my past have I not healed? In what ways am I showing up that's hurting other people? It's kind of like being a workaholic, right? which I am a recovering workaholic for sure. Working hard seems good the same way that paying attention in trying to help other parts of the world or yelling on the internet about other parts of the world seems good. And when you look at working hard, it's praised in our society. And I realized I thought I was a workaholic because I wanted success, which there was a part of me that did want success, right? But I was really a workaholic as a way to keep myself busy.

16:00And that was my way of running from the trauma that I needed to heal with myself. I was running from the inner work by keeping myself so damn busy every single day. And I was calling it a good thing because I was quote unquote working so hard. And then I would have success and I would have money and then we get praised by other people for it. And so it seems like what we're doing in these situations is a good thing. But really what it comes down to is I'm probably keeping myself too busy or too aware of what's happening in other places in the world or what other politicians should fix or what this country is wrong with this place and that place and that person or that side than it is to go, let me take a mirror and look at myself and actually start to work on myself.

16:41You can spend hours and hours analyzing the world and not spend five minutes analyzing yourself. Now, I'm not saying this just to call anyone out. I'm saying it because I have done this a lot too. It feels productive. it feels meaningful you think you're doing something good but sometimes it's just distraction at a much higher level and you don't even realize it can you see that so if all of this is true then what the hell do we do about it like do we just ignore everything no i don't want you to ignore everything do you completely shut the world off no you just decide to recalibrate your awareness.

17:23You can let some stuff in. Don't let everything in. Maybe spend a little bit less time on social media. Maybe stop watching the news. You need to choose what you actually decide to let into your brain. You have to understand that consuming something and getting it into your brain is the same thing as eating something and consuming it that way. Like you can't expect that you're just going to watch a bunch of crappy news and a bunch of terrible things that happen in other countries, a bunch of reality TV and a bunch of murder mysteries and all that stuff and consume it and not think that it's not going to do anything to you.

17:58It's going to do something to your psyche. Do you get that? It's like going, oh, I'm going to eat McDonald's every single day and eat fast food every single day and it's not going to do anything to me. No, you are going to become what you consume. And so the truth that I really want you to sit with is you're not responsible for being aware of everything. You're responsible for your actions. You're responsible for your energy. You're responsible for how you show up. You're responsible for your growth. You're responsible for your contribution. And that's it. And this is the shift. So instead of asking like what's wrong in the world, we need to start asking ourselves, what am I contributing to the world through who I am?

18:39Because the most powerful thing that you can give the world isn't your outrage. It's not your stress. It's not constant consumption. It's a regulated, clear grounded better version of yourself every single day like for a long time I never really understood the quote be the change you want to see in the world when I was younger I was like I don't really know what that means I thought it meant like you had to go out and fix everything you had to speak up about everything you had to fight all of the stuff you had to be aware of everything that's going wrong but as I got older I realized oh I have to what it's actually saying to me is it's pointing to me, not the world.

19:18Like it's pointing to me. It's about turning inward and asking, what am I embodying? Like what energy am I giving to the world? How am I showing up? What energy do I have? What behaviors do I have? What life do I, I wish that more people existed in the world. Like it's a really great quote to think about because I can look at somebody and I can say, oh, I want to judge them because they're too much of an asshole, right? Oh, they do this and they're too much of an asshole. And then I can ask myself, are there times when maybe I come off as an asshole? Oh God, there is. There's always times, right?

19:53And there's always, I can always reflect back to myself and I can say, this thing needs to be fixed in the world. And I can say, is there a times when I sometimes show up that way? Oh, damn it. I do. Maybe I should fix that in myself. And that's how I help fix the world. because when you stop trying to carry the weight of everything outside of you and instead you start focusing on becoming a better, more grounded, more intentional, more healed version of you, you naturally start impacting every single person around you without even trying. The biggest thing that I want you to get from today's episode is the greatest gift that you can give the world is the most healed version of you.

20:31Not the one that shows up and bickers and says, everybody else needs to fix this. the greatest gift that you can give the world is the most healed version of you. That's how real change spreads throughout the world. Not through constant awareness of problems, but through the way that you show up as a human being every single day. The world doesn't need more people who are informed and overwhelmed. It doesn't need more awareness necessarily. It needs more people who are self-aware, who are working on themselves, who are healed and intentional about what they consume and how they show up in the world.

21:06That's how the world is actually going to change, is if each individual person starts looking at themselves. And so here's what I want you to take from this. Be aware. I'm not saying close out the world, but don't be consumed. Be intentional about what you bring into your mind. Stay informed, but try not to carry what isn't yours to carry. Care about the world. Yes, absolutely. But you also got to care about yourself too. Because at the end of the day, you don't change the world by knowing everything that's wrong with it. You change the world by becoming somebody who helps heal the world by the way that they show up.

21:43So that's what I got for you today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And once again, if you want to go ahead and get my free morning routine video and workbook. You can go to theperfectmorningroutine.com and download it for free. With that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day. Comcast is delivering extraordinary experiences in live sports through the incredible broadcast and storytelling from NBC, innovative and personalized viewing features on Xfinity and Peacock, and the country's most reliable Wi-Fi, viewers can enjoy every game-changing play faster and more seamlessly than ever, all on a network built to deliver unforgettable moments as close to live as possible.

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23:13Hey listeners, Rob here. Thank you for tuning in to the Mindset Mentor each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free subscribe to Cirrus XM podcast plus on Apple podcasts or visit cirrusxm.com slash podcast plus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.