The Unspoken Key to Success

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, you'll probably also love the emails that we send out every single week. So if you go to mondayemail.com right now, we actually send out an email with my thoughts, my goals, what I'm working on in myself, my mindset of my life every single Monday. It's absolutely free. If you wanna sign up, it is going to be sent to you from mondayemail.com. so you can register there and sign up.

0:40Today, I'm going to be talking to you about the unspoken key to success. Now, with success, I know a lot of people say, wake up early and start a morning routine and make sure that you meditate. All those things are important and reading and working and all that's really important. I got into personal development back in 2006. So it's been about 17 years when I first found personal development, started working on myself. I hired a coach. I I started going to events. I started working my ass off to try to become the person I wanted to be, to build a business that I wanted to, all of that stuff.

1:15And I'm at the point now, 37 years old, where I feel like I've built a life that I'm proud of. Not something that I wanna brag about, but just something that I'm proud of. I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah, you did it. Good for you. You always wanted to get here. And I feel like I've checked off a lot of the boxes that I wanted to check off in my life. And I feel like I'm now qualified to talk about this. There's a lot of people that I think that are out there that talk about success, not from knowing it for themselves, but from seeing other people and studying autobiographies and biographies and all that, which is fine.

1:44But I'm going to tell you from actually my standpoint, what I have found besides working really hard, besides going for outside of my comfort zone and pushing past fear and doing all that, I'm going to give you a key to success that nobody really talks about. And it's not really sexy. And I don't really hear people talk about that often. I don't really hear it being something that people put when I'm reading an article on how to become a million or any of that type of stuff. And I think it's going to become a little bit of a surprise for some of you guys listening. But the number one key to success that I have found that's not talked about really anywhere, once again, it's not sexy, it's patience.

2:27It is patience. Things take time. Your life takes time. Success takes time. Everything takes time. And the example I always love to give people, because when somebody goes and starts their business, they want to be a million dollars in revenue by like month three. And maybe that's possible for 99.999 % of businesses. It's absolutely ridiculous. And what happens is people will be like, this is my new thing. And they get excited about it and they work really hard at it for the first couple of months. And then they don't see the success they wanted to in the first couple of months. And they just decide to give up.

3:04And trying to force success to be that quick is like walking up to your wife while she's pregnant and saying, Hey, listen, I know this is supposed to take nine months, but I'd like to take a vacation by the end of the year. Do you think you could hurry this baby making process up? Like it's, it's absolutely ridiculous because we know that depending on the birth, depending on the woman, all of that. The average woman takes about eight to nine to 10 months, sometimes, sometimes a little bit longer than nine months to create a baby. That's what the universe takes to create the baby inside of the woman.

3:38And then you think to yourself, well, I want to have a million dollar business in three months. It's ridiculous. And it's the same idea as imagine if you went into the gym and you saw somebody there and they had been in the gym for the past 10, 15 years. They've been working on themselves really hard. And they have these incredible abs and they have great muscles and they look really, you know, they got the veins, they got everything that they need and they have everything that you want. And you look at them and you think, man, that's the body that I want. And so what happens, you end up going to the gym and you wake up the next morning and it's the first time you've ever been in the gym.

4:14And then you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, oh my God, I worked out one time and now I've got a complete six pack, right? Isn't that the way fitness works? No, it's not the way that fitness works. Why would you think that success in your life works that way? Why would you think that your business is going to work that way? It takes patience and it takes showing up. And the thing that I always say is it takes direction, action, and time. So what's the direction that you're heading in? What's the action that you're taking? And then time, right? So if you look at it and you say, okay, obviously it's ridiculous to think that you're going to have a six pack after working out one time.

4:50Well, it's also ridiculous to think that you're going to have a million dollars in revenue in your business in three months. It's ridiculous to think that you're going to have the best marriage within one week of dating somebody. All of this stuff is ridiculous. It's ridiculous to think that you could speed along the birthing process and have somebody give birth to a fully formed child at four months. Great things take time. And patience in this world is really starting to lack with a lot of people. If you want to be somebody who is light years ahead of everybody else, learn to be more patient.

5:25So when you're looking at your goals, they take direction, they take action, they take time. Direction, action, time. So you ask yourself, am I heading in the right direction? Do I know what I want or am I sights set on the thing that I want? And then am I taking the right action towards that? So like if I want a six pack, we go back to that. Well, am I working out? Am I doing, if I'm just working out, that's not going to be exactly what I need. Am I doing ab exercises two or three times a week? Am I making sure that I eat the right food to build muscle, but also lose fat so you can see my six pack?

5:57Am I heading in the right direction? Am I showing up? Am I doing the right actions as well, which is doing the crunches, making sure that I'm eating the right food, all of that? Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Okay. Well, then the third component is time. It just takes time. I've got to be patient. And so when you look at it, we live in a world where everything is basically immediate. it. You know, like if I want food and I have nothing in my house, I can literally go on and I can get food delivered to my house and it could be here the next couple hours. That's if I want to create food and get groceries, but shit, I can get DoorDash or Favor or any of those companies to actually deliver it to my door in the next 30 minutes if I'm hungry, right?

6:39If I don't want to drive my car, but I want to go into town, I can have Uber come pick me up. And it's just like thing after thing after thing now that we have in this world that we live in is immediate. And we have kind of conditioned ourselves to think that we deserve to get everything right now. But that's just not the case. The success that you want, the life that you want, you don't deserve yet. I'm not saying that you don't deserve it. You don't deserve it yet, which means that you haven't taken the right action to get there. The same way that if somebody's eating like shit and not working out, you're going to go, yeah, they don't deserve a six pack.

7:17But if somebody's putting in the right action, they're doing what they need to do, they're showing up. You're like, yeah, that person deserves a six pack. And over enough time, that six pack will eventually show. But when you look at success, success is not immediate. And for me, I worked really hard for not like a year, not two years, not five years, 12, 13 years before I finally got to a point that I was like, yeah, this is good. I really like where I am. The question is, do you have the patience to put in the effort over the next 12 years, seven years, whatever it takes for you? Because all of us, it takes different time.

7:54Do you have the patience to go, I'm heading in the right direction. I'm taking the right action. I'm just going to let the universe decide when I deserve this. Do you have the patience? If you don't, it's not going to work out for you. So either you give up or you decide to start using that patience muscle, to start developing that patience muscle, to be more patient. And we see people that are successful and we think, man, they just came out of nowhere. What a meteoric rise. But what we don't see is we don't see the 10 to 15 years of hard work, of accumulating knowledge and accumulating skills in order to be able to get to that success.

8:31The failures and failures and failures that made them realize what they don't need to do in order to reposition, reposition, reposition to eventually figure out this is a path that needed to go on. So it looks like to us, it looks like a meteoric rise to the top. Oh my God, that guy built a billion dollar company in a year. Well, it's like he's been in that industry for 27 years. He's been learning what works, what doesn't work. He's been failing. He's been succeeding, all of this stuff. And then he built a business that became a billion dollar business in a year. But he's been in that industry and gaining knowledge and gaining skillset for 27 years or whatever it might be.

9:04And so it looks like a meteoric rise to us when we don't know who this person is, but that person's been putting in the work over and over and over again. And the older that I get, the more that I can see that it's not about the big, massive decisions in my life. It's about the little teeny tiny micro decisions that I've done over the years and years and years that have accumulated as something really big. There's a book that talks about this, which is a compound effect. It's a really simple book, but basically what it means is it's not about the huge actions that we take in our lives. What is it about?

9:35It's about the little teeny tiny things that we do day in, day out, day in, day out that eventually, like they don't seem like they're making any difference in the moment, but over years and years and years, it ends up making a massive difference. It's just about being persistent and doing it and being consistent every single day, but then also making sure that you're patient as well. So, but before you decide, you know, and find something that you can be patient with, you have to actually decide what you want. One of the things that I ask people is like, well, I want to be successful. I want to be rich.

10:11I want to have the life that I want. I want to be able to have freedom for myself and my family and everything. I'm like, cool. What do you want? Like, how do you want to do that? Well, I'm not really sure. And most of the time people just know that they don't want to be where they currently are. But then when I ask what they want, they're not really sure what they want. They're sure what they don't want anymore, but they're not really sure what they want. And so the first thing that you really got to decide is what do you want? Because when you start putting in action and working and putting in action, it's like building a ladder.

10:40You're starting to slowly put the pieces of the ladder together. But if you're just kind of blindly trusting that it's going to work out, you might be building a ladder on the wrong wall. And there's nothing worse than putting five or 10 years of effort into something and then going, yeah this is not where I want to be like this isn't even I just climbed the ladder but this isn't even the ladder that this is a wrong wall what do you want to do you want to figure out what you want that is the wall that you want to climb and so you got to ask yourself what is it that I want if I were to build out this life if I look at myself 10 15 20 years down the road if I look at the business that I want if I want the relationship that I want the success I want the body want like what is it that you want and you've got to become very very clear in the more clear that you can get from the beginning, the better.

11:23Now, I understand that there's not a whole lot of clarity in the very beginning. So your story will start to build itself a little bit as you continue down the path. But if I'm going to drive my car, it's really important that before I start the car and leave, I have to figure out where I'm going, right? That's really what it comes down to. Where are you going? What do you want? Otherwise, I'm just wandering around and that's not going to get me anywhere. I'm just wandering around. Too many people, I think, are just wandering around in their lives. They haven't decided what they want. They haven't made an actual decision.

11:55And so you have to figure out what you want. Now, once you've decided what it is that you want, here's the other thing that you need to do. You need to get rid of all other options. There are no other options that exist at all. And you have to get rid of all of the options and you have to make up your mind and make the decision. When you look at the word decision, the Greek root word for decision is, I believe it's decadere is how you say it, which means to cut off. So when you make a decision, it actually means to cut off all other options. So you can't have a plan B because plan B distracts from plan A.

12:29Goes back to like the story of the Spanish conqueror coming over. And he could tell that his, you know, they came on all of these wooden ships. He could tell that his entire crew was kind of like, kind of wanting to go back home. And they knew they were about to go into battle and to go into war. And he was worried because he's like, they're not a hundred percent in. And so as soon as the boats landed on the beach, he said burn the ships and so they had to burn the ships because it was either hey I'm going we're going to succeed or we're going to die trying where there is no other hey we can go back home to Spain it's kind of the exact same thing like you've got to cut off all other options what do you want make your decision and then you either get it or you're going to die trying and so this is where like a lot of people stop I find a lot of people they stop here you know it doesn't work after three months and they give up oh this isn't working for me it's not I don't have the success that I want.

13:20If you want another really big key to being successful, stop stopping. So many people just stop. And they don't realize that they're six months away from success. They're whatever it might be, a few more days away from success. And it's just like, when you think about stopping, I heard Ed Milet say this one time. And he said his dad used to say this to him all the time. But it's just like, can you do one more day? When you think about giving up on something, can you go one more day? try one more day. Put 100 % of yourself into one more day. When you think about shutting down your business, can you go one more day?

13:55Because if you just stack one day, one day, one day, one day, one day for a while, that time, you're heading in the right direction, you're taking the right action. Sometimes time just works its way out and that baby is birthed. It is finally at the point where it is, the world, the universe has cooked your success long enough and now you can get it. And so when you think about giving up, can you just keep going one more day? Like, can you just have one more day? If I decide I'm in Austin, I use always use example. I'm in Austin, Dallas is North. If I just head North, no matter how I decide to do it, whether I'm taking a plane, whether I'm driving a car, whether I'm riding a bike, whether I'm walking, if I just head North, I will eventually get to Dallas.

14:39Are there some ways to get there faster? Sure. But as long as I'm just heading in the right direction, I will eventually get there. And that's what it comes down to is you just have to let time work its way out. I remember when I was young and naive, 21 years old, and I was looking at these guys that are, I'm like, man, I'm working so hard. I'm not where I want to be. I've been putting like two years of work in. And I'm looking at these guys that are just like multi, multi-millionaires. And I'm like, why the fuck am I not there yet? Why am I not successful yet? And now that I'm 37 years old, I realized that I was 21 years old comparing myself to guys that were like 63.

15:15What an idiot I was, right? Like I'm 21 comparing myself to someone three times my age. They've put in more time. They put in more work. They put in more effort. They got to success eventually. But you know, they might become a multi, they might've become a multimillionaire at 55. Well, could I do it by, if I'm at 21, could I do it by 30? Could I do it by 35? Could I do it by 40? Whatever it is. And so really what it comes down to is things just take time. And if you want the number one key to success that I have found that I don't ever hear people talking about, it's just that you have to learn to be patient.

15:49Put in the right work, head in the right direction. And I promise you, if you don't give up, eventually you'll get there. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor. Go ahead and share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I love seeing you guys share these episodes all the time. And so it's good to see where you guys are. I love that you guys put up pictures where you are. Sometimes you're on a walk with your dog and there's a video. And I can see that you guys are listening to it. So if you would go ahead and post it somewhere, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it.

16:19And that would obviously help us spread the message for this podcast as well. And so with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.