This Mindset Completely Changed My Life

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1:49Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you want to learn how to create the perfect morning routine, go to theperfectmorningroutine.com. I created a workbook and a video for you to go through to create the perfect morning routine based off of science. Once again, that is theperfectmorningroutine.com to get it for free. Today, I want to talk to you about something that genuinely I think has changed my life forever. And it's not a productivity hack.

2:23It's not a business strategy. It's not a neuroscience trick. It is a perspective. It is a simple shift that's really changed my outlook on my life every single day since I came up with it. And I think truly that if you let this land and you use that I teach that it could completely change the way that you live your life as well. So for me, I just turned 40 and there's something about turning 40 where time starts to feel a little bit different. Not in like a depressing way, but in an actual beautiful way. I started thinking more deeply about time that has passed and time that will pass. And I started realizing like, hey, this life is not an endless hallway anymore.

3:05I started realizing like this thing is moving. and when you look at the average person and how long they live, I am halfway through the average person's life. Hopefully I do get longer, but according to stats, I'm halfway there. I'm halfway done and recently I keep seeing these videos on Instagram of people holding their babies and their young children and on the screen it says when I'm 80 years old, this is what I'll dream about and every time I saw one of those videos, something inside of me cracked open because I I started looking at my young son way differently, not with like sadness, but with like this, this reverence.

3:43And I started realizing like, even though I already knew it, but I started really, really realizing, oh my God, like these are, I'm in the good old days right now. Like this is it. So that moment that feels like ordinary, just a normal Tuesday afternoon or an exhausted morning, like this little season that I keep rushing through one day, there is going to be a day where I would give anything and everything that I have to come back to this moment right here. And I had this realization that when I'm 80 years old, if someone were to come to me at 80 years old and say, Rob, you could have a million dollars.

4:21You could have every single award, all of the success that you want, everything you've ever wanted. And I'm 80 years old, or you can go back and be 40 again. And you can hold your young son again. And you can wake up in your current body again. Or you can laugh with your wife again. You can have all of your energy back. You can have your health back. You can have your old life back. I would trade every fucking dollar, every achievement immediately in order to be back where I currently am right now. No hesitation. Every single penny. Everything. And that realization really hit me like a truck because I think it's true for me and I think it's true for every single person that's listening to this episode.

5:04We spend our entire lives chasing things that our older self would gladly trade away to have just another ordinary Tuesday at the age we're currently at. One more sunset, one more dinner with the people that we love, one more chance to feel young again, one more chance to walk around and not feel that old pain that's been nagging us. One more chance to hear our child laugh from another room. And the crazy part is right now we already have it. Right now we're literally living inside of the moments our future self would ache for. Even if your life is not where you want it to be and it's not even great at this moment, you would still trade places with yourself.

5:50But we're so busy we don't think about it. We never see how amazing this moment is because we're so busy chasing the next thing because I think most people are unknowingly sacrificing their life trying to build a life. Think about that for a second. Most people are unknowingly sacrificing their life trying to actually build a life. And so I want to talk to you about how I've been using my 80-year-old self as my mentor. And I really want this episode to like shift your perspective so much that you want to listen to it every single morning. Okay, so I think a lot of people believe, and I thought this for a long time, I'll finally feel fulfilled when dot, dot, dot.

6:29When I make more money, when I buy the house, when I get married, when I lose the weight, when I become successful, when I hit this goal, when I prove myself to other people, when I get recognition, I will finally arrive. And the truth is that arrival that we're all trying to get to never actually comes because your mind was never designed to arrive. Our minds are designed to chase, to go to the next thing. And this is what the psychologist actually called the hedonic treadmill. Like you get one thing and then your brain normalizes it very, very quickly. You buy the car that was your quote unquote dream car.

7:07And six months later, it's just your car. You hit that income goal that you want to hit your entire life. And then it just becomes your normal income and you want to make more. You build that business and then your brain asks, well, okay, but what's next? And so your mind keeps moving the finish line. And meanwhile, your actual life is the thing that's happening while you're keeping yourself so damn busy. Your child is growing up. Your body is aging. Your parents are getting older. Your friends are disappearing into their own busy lives, then one day you'll wake up and realize, oh my God, I was so focused on building a future that I forgot to actually live my present moment.

7:49And that's why I keep thinking about this 80-year-old version of me, because I think my 80-year-old version of me, my 80-year-old Rob sees life clearly, like way more clear than I do. Your 80-year-old self already knows what truly matters. Like I want you to imagine your 80 year old self. Like imagine you at 80 years old. Not like vaguely. Like actually picture them. Like what do they look like? What do their old wrinkly hands look like? How do they walk? What do they regret? What do they miss? Like what would they tell you right now if they could sit across from you? And I want you to understand something.

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11:57Your 80 year old self cares about presence. They care about love. They care about their health. They They care about meaning. They really care about time because they don't have a whole lot of it left. They care about making memories. They care about peace. They care about depth. They care about aliveness. Your 80-year-old self knows exactly what matters because they know what will disappear soon. And that's why I started using my 80-year-old self as my mentor. And it's genuinely changed my life. And so now whenever I get stuck throughout the day, whenever I'm overwhelmed, whenever I'm too busy, whenever I have a hard decision, whenever I find myself freaking out about something, like I just ask myself, I'm like, okay, 80 year old Rob, what should we do here?

12:44What's the right thing to do? And for me, it has been shocking how quickly clarity gets here, like how quickly it appears because your older self just cuts through all the bullshit. Because I think there's two versions of us that are constantly speaking in our heads. There's a fearful one that's driven by ego. And then there's one that's a wise future self. The fearful ego says, make more money, hurry up, prove yourself, work harder, make sure you win, compare yourself to other people, achieve more, you're behind, don't slow down, go, go, go, go, go. Your future self says, just breathe. Just hold your child a little bit longer.

13:32Call your mom. Take care of your body. Put your fucking phone down. Go outside. Notice the stars. Be here for this moment. Stop rushing through your life. One voice creates anxiety and ignores the present moment and keeps kicking your happiness down the road a little bit further. And the other one creates meaning. It focuses on right now, this present moment and soaking it all up. And most people are letting fear mentor them instead of wisdom. And so here's the question I want you to begin asking yourself. What would my 80-year-old self say to me right now? With all of the wisdom that they have?

14:20What's the thing that they would say to me right now? What can I learn from them? Someone who has already lived the future that I'm moving into. And the beautiful thing is that your older self already knows what matters. And so I think to myself, like, how can I today download the wisdom from him right now? Like, how can I listen to him and find out what really matters. And I want to make this practical for you because it's really become a daily practice for me. And so here's how you actually do it in your life, okay? Step one, I want you to actually create your future self clearly. Like most people never connect to their future self like really deeply and emotionally.

15:04So they make decisions, you know, based off of immediate comfort versus what's actually important to them. But neuroscience shows that the more emotionally connected you are to your future self, the better decisions that you'll actually make in the present moment. And so I want you to sit down and journal. Like what does your 80-year-old self value? What do they regret? What are they grateful for? What advice would they give you right now? What do they wish you'd stop worrying about so much? What wisdom do they have to give you? What do they wish that you would appreciate more? Like actually write it all down.

15:38Don't think in your head, put it down on a piece of paper, like bring them to life on a piece of paper. They're already waiting for you to get in contact with them. Okay. So that's step number one. Step number two is start consulting with them daily. Literally. I do this multiple times a day. Now, if I'm stressed, I look at something and I go, will this matter when I'm 80 years old? 99.9 % of the time, the answer is no. If I'm working too much, I ask myself, will I have wished that I worked more or like actually lived more. If I'm sitting on the couch watching a basketball game and I'm distracted and my son comes up to me wanting me to get off the couch for the 15th time in a row when I just got up 14 times earlier, would my 80-year-old Rob look at that moment and be like, ah, don't worry about it?

16:30Or would he give anything, everything to get up and read another book to my son. And instantly, when I think about that, I'm present. My perspective shifts. It returns, I guess is a better way of saying it. And like the meaning in my life returns. So that's step number two. Step number three is let your future self interrupt your autopilot. Like most people are unconscious. I've been unconscious for most of my life. They wake up, they grab their phone, stress, rush, react to this thing, repeat, and then years just disappear, right? You have to interrupt the autopilot. One of the biggest problems in modern life is overstimulation.

17:22We are so distracted that we can't even feel our own lives anymore. Your older self, what would they tell you? Slow down. Experience this. Not someday. Not when you accomplish that thing. Like right now, in this moment. I have realized that if I can think that way and interrupt my autopilot, I'll try to bring in all five of my senses to the present moment. And when I do this and I bring in all five of my senses and I try to be as present as I possibly can, it's like, it's weird. It's like the present moment becomes so rich. It's like the exposure goes up and I go from like 720p, which is like pixelated on a TV to like 8K.

18:08It's like, oh my God, there's so many things in this present moment I wasn't paying attention to. And the part that keeps getting me like emotional lately is I think right now you and I are living the good old days. I think one day you're going to miss this version of yourself. Even the struggles that you're going through, you're going to miss it. You're going to miss the energy that you have. You're going to miss your mobility. You're going to miss your challenges. You're going to miss your children being little. You're going to miss these conversations that you have. You're going to miss this season that currently feels stressful or chaotic or challenging or even just boring and ordinary.

18:48and I think one of the greatest tragedies in human existence is realizing too late that it was beautiful while you were inside of it but you didn't notice it and you know it's crazy like right now there's a version of you that years ago would be blown away by the current life that you have like there is a version of you that prayed for what you currently overlook and your brain it just adapts so quickly that we stop seeing the miracle that we've created which means that if you don't intentionally wake yourself up and see how rich this present moment currently is, you will unconsciously miss your entire life.

19:27Because this is it. Do you get it? Like this life that you're in, this is your life. This isn't a rehearsal. This isn't a warm-up. This isn't the practice before the beginning. Like this, right here, right now. The second that you're sitting in with me is your life. And one day you would give everything that you have to come back to this exact moment, which means this moment must be infinitely more valuable than we realize. And I like to think about this perspective as kind of like a forest fire. If you look at a forest fire, sometimes a forest fire destroys everything, but a forest fire also clears out everything so that new life can emerge.

20:10And I think that this perspective for me has been working the exact same way. Like this perspective shift has been like a forest fire. This shift has like burned away so much unnecessary noise for me, so much fake urgency, so much chasing, so much illusion. The answer, whenever I ask myself, what do I need more of? What do I want more of? When I really get myself present, what would my future self tell me? it's never been more achievement or more money or more likes or more followers. The answer is always more presence. And I got it tattooed on my arm. You know, it says on my arm right here, for those of you guys that can see on YouTube, it says, be here now.

20:54Like the answer is tattooed on my arm. Be here now. Like be in this moment. And I see it multiple times a day to remind myself, oh all right dude slow the hell down like this is life like life isn't something that's coming for me once I achieve this thing life is this thing right now that I'm in so here's what I want you to do after this episode tonight sit down alone no phone no distractions no tv like this is really one of the most important things I think you can do and I want you to pretend that you're 80 years old and you're looking back on your life and I want you to write a letter to yourself from your 80 year old self.

21:35So from your 80 year old self to your current self. And I want you to tell them what truly matters. Like try to connect to them. If they exist in your consciousness somewhere in the future, you know, like maybe we can pull wisdom from them. Like get them to tell you what matters, what doesn't matter, what to stop worrying about, what we should appreciate, what to forgive, who to forgive, what risks we should take, you know, who we should spend more time with, what memories we need to create, and then start listening to them daily. Make this connection between you and them. Let them be your mentor.

22:09I don't want to be your mentor. I don't want anybody in this world to be your mentor. I want your future self to be your mentor. I think that's the most important thing that you could do because your future self is always wiser than your fears. And the more that you listen, the more meaningful your life will become. You know, when you're 80 years old, you won't care about how many emails you answered, how much money you made, or how much you optimize your schedule. You aren't going to care about most of the things that you stress over today. What you will care about is the people that you loved, the moments that were fully alive, the moments that you created, the memories that you had, the sunsets that you slowed down enough to see, the laughter, the connection, the courage to actually live.

22:50And one day you will realize these were the good old days. These moments that we're in right now, these are the good old days. so don't wait to see it when you're older. Like, why don't you see it now and allow that to actually guide you? Because this moment, this ordinary little moment that you and I are sharing together might actually be one of the most valuable things that you'll ever have. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in at Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And once again, if you want to go ahead and get The Perfect Morning Routine, go to theperfectmorningroutine.com, download it for free, and I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode.

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