This Perspective Will Change Your Life

0:07Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. Thanks to all of you out there that are listening. If you're the type of person who knows that you need to improve yourself to improve your life and you want to learn and grow and continue to keep improving yourself, go ahead and subscribe to this podcast. I put out episodes four times a week to help you grow, improve yourself so that you can make your life better. Today, I'm going to be teaching you a perspective that could absolutely change your life. It could make your life way more positive.

0:39And it's wild. I'm glad that I chose mindset and I got so obsessed with it when I was younger. It's because the older that I get and the more that time goes on, the more that I realize that it is the most important thing that we could focus on. Our mindset, the way that we look at ourselves, the way that we look at our lives, the way that we look at other people around us influences every single aspect of our life. And really what we're doing when we talk about mindsets, we're talking about perspectives, looking at something different than maybe the way we've looked at it our entire life. And if we can look at something a little bit differently, you know, it's like Wayne Dyer's phrase, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

1:26And it's such a simple phrase, but it's really profound if you think about it. When you change the way that you look at things, the things that you're looking at change. And so you really start to understand that perspective of your life, perspective of your challenges, perspective of yourself, perspective of the people around you, and what perspective you're looking at, what lens you're looking at the world through might be the most important thing that you could pay attention to. And so today I'm going to talk about the idea of what if, and I want you to come on a journey with me and just try this out for a day and just see if it changes your perspective on life, okay?

2:03We're going to talk about how the world is conspiring to make your life amazing. The world is conspiring to make your life better every single day. Now, it might not be giving you all of the best things, but it might be giving you challenges so that you can grow, so that your life can become better because of your growth. You know, we've all heard the phrase paranoia before, right? Well, and that's like the idea of like the world is out to get me. Everybody's out to get me and everyone is out to get that person who's paranoid. Well, there's also a phrase that is the exact opposite of paranoia and it's actually called pronoia.

2:41So instead of looking at the lens of the world being against you, you're looking through the lens of the world being for you. as everything that will ever happen to you is for the greater good of you and for the greater good of the world. And so pro-noia was actually coined by a sociologist named Fred Goldner in the 1980s. And it's derived from the Greek words pro, which means in favor of, and noia, which translate roughly basically to the mind. So pro-mind, everything is working towards you and your betterment. And so I understand that it can sound really naive and overly idealistic to be like, oh my God, everything is perfect.

3:24It's, it's, and it's, let me take a step back. It's not even everything's perfect. It's everything is, is perfectly out there to make the world better for me and make my life better. It seems naive and it can seem naive. But then when you start to think about it, it's all about really holding a mindset of making sure that you are proactively positive. Like you are proactively positive. When I say proactively positive, it doesn't mean ignore the negative. It means look at the negative through a different perspective and see if you can turn that negative into something positive. It's about understanding that no matter what, there's always going to be positive.

3:59There's always going to be negative in life. But maybe the things that we're viewing as negative are actually chances for us to grow and improve. Maybe there is a silver lining to every dark cloud. It's a way of looking at the world and saying, okay, yeah, I've got this obstacle that's in front of me and it does suck and it's not what I want right now, but it's a chance for me to be able to grow. It's like the book, The Obstacle is the Way. Instead of going around the obstacle, you go through the obstacle. The obstacle is there for you. And it's really looking at the world and looking at everything and trying to find the benefit for you in every single situation that happens to be good.

4:37Also, every single situation that happens to be bad. And you know, when you really take a look at these things, if you really search and you try to find the positive and the benefit and everything, you can find it. And a lot of times, some of the best things that have happened to you years ago were the worst thing that ever happened to you. Right? So like I always tell people like, and I've said this before on the podcast, the best day of my life and the worst day of my life were the same day. And that was the day that my dad died. And it was the worst day of my life because he was the first person that I ever knew that passed away.

5:14But it was the best day of my life. And obviously it was worse because, you know, there's a lot of other things like my dad died, right? There's a lot that goes with that. It makes sense why it was the worst day of my life. But on the best day of my life, it wasn't the best because I wanted him to die. That's not the reason why, was because the entire course of my life changed. My perspective of life completely changed when I was like, oh my God, this is going to end. Like mine is going to end one day too. And I need to do everything I can to get the best out of it. And I remember about three weeks after my father had passed away, we were driving the car and my mom had asked, I had my learner's permit.

5:51So I was driving the car, my mom was next to me. We're at Stoplight. We're at a stoplight in Sarasota. I still remember exactly where it was. It was at Procter and 41. for anybody who lives in Sarasota. And I was at Proctor at 41. I was at the stoplight. My mom said, hey, so now that's been a few weeks, like, what do you think about your father's passing away? And I was 15 years old. And I remember saying to her, I think that if dad were to know how much good were to come from this, he would be okay with passing away. And I don't know where it came from. It's like, I wasn't even that kid. It was just some bit of wisdom, I guess, came through that 15 year old kid.

6:23And I would not do what I do now had my dad not passed away. Now we can look at those things and be like, oh, my dad was an alcoholic. He passed away. And I can look at that and I can say, I could find all the negative in it. Of course I could. Or I could say, you know what? I'm going to take this thing that sucks, that I don't want it to be what it is. And I'm going to make this one of the best things that's ever happened to me. And so I think it's about looking at life and you could probably do this as well. You could probably look back to something that was a really freaking hard time in your life, seven, eight, 10, 15 years ago.

6:53and you can look at it and be like, going through it was one of the worst things that I've ever gone through and I would never want to go through it again, but I would never go back and change it because you changed and you grew and you learned by going through those things. So if that's the case, it's easy to see that the best things in life are for us, but if that's also the case, we could also see that the worst things in life are also for us, right? And so going through those challenges is never easy, but are you grateful for them now? Of course you are. You're so grateful for them now. And so all of your life experiences, whether they're good or whether they're bad, it's not always easy to go through things like life is tough and life is, it's, it's amazing sometimes.

7:38And it's hard as hell other times, and it's a struggle other times, right? But it's easier, way easier. If you know that something great will come from it, you know, about almost two years ago now, um, and I've, I've shared this before on the podcast, but it's another idea of just into my mind and the way I try to look through it, look at things. And I try my best to look at things this way. And, um, do I, am I perfect at it? No. Do I, am I better than I ever have been? Yes. Do I still struggle? Yes. So it's, uh, I'm human, but I remember, uh, about two years ago now, our, our dog Toby passed away.

8:11He was 13 and a half years old. And then, um, our, our vet knew Toby very well. And, um, we had to take bear our other dog in he was a puppy at the time to go and get uh fixed and the the doctor had to come in after he knew that Toby had passed away four days earlier and he had to have the conversation with me of like hey I've got to put bear under you know that there's risks associated with this and I was like yeah I get it and it was like nine hours until we heard from the doctor and I was just having such a rough week with Toby passing away and I thought to myself as I'm waiting to hear from the doctor.

8:49I don't want anything to happen to bear, but I trust so much in God or the universe or life or whatever it is that's out there that if something were to happen to bear, it is something that I'm supposed to learn. I'm supposed to grow from, but I just really don't want to learn a fricking lesson this week, right? I've already learned lessons this week from, from everything we told you. I don't want to learn another lesson, right? And so that was like the, the thing that was going through my head of like, just having faith, just having trust of just like whatever happens is supposed to happen and I can be okay with that.

9:23And it, it, it brings so much besides being a positive mindset and helping with that and finding the best in things. It also just allows you just to trust a little bit more and like let go of so much control and wanting to force things and control things and always, and we, cause we can't control these things. Like we're not in control of that. Whatever happened with Bear, I wasn't in control of, you know, I could, I have said, no, don't, you know, don't fix them. Of course I could say that, but once it happens, it's happens. And so it's really just like the letting go sometimes, which I have found over the past few years has really brought a lot of peace to my life is not trying to control everything and just trying to let go.

10:02When you look at the people in your life too, there are people in your life that you love and they're amazing. And they teach you lessons, many lessons in life of how to be more loving, how to be more open, some difficult things as well. But, you know, they teach you. They're there for you to learn and grow and improve. And there's also other people in your life that are very freaking difficult, right? And those people who challenge you and who trigger you are actually a gift for you as well. Because if I am triggered by somebody, it is showing me where I'm not free. I am still mentally hung up in that place.

10:39Because whatever triggers me, if somebody says something and it triggers me, that person could say the exact same thing to somebody else and it would not trigger that person, which shows that it's not the actual thing that's being said. It's me. Right. And so when we're triggered, I've said this before, instead of wanting to punch somebody who triggers you, you should give them a high five because they're actually helping you understand where you are not free. You can hate them if you want. That's completely your prerogative. If that's what you want to go and you want to hate them, or you could thank them and be like, Like this is, this is, you are showing me where I'm not free.

11:12This is the universe, God, whatever it is, coming to me through this person that's really pissing me off so that I can see where I'm not free, right? So it's the universe coming to you through them to help you see where you're not free. And it is an opportunity for growth. Oh my gosh, thank you for pissing me off so much because it's showing me where I still need to improve. And there's a lot of those places, right? And I get it because someone in my family has paranoia disorder. And he's had it since he was little. And he's always thought that the world was out to get him to the point where even one of my aunts has told me when she was a little girl, she went trick-or-treating with him.

11:56And he was, I think he's like 11 or 12 years old. and he had her, he had mapped out the entire neighborhood on a piece of paper and said, hey, write down what you get, what piece of candy you get from every single house just in case someone tries to poison us. And so he's always kind of had this paranoia disorder and that's a disorder and it's something that he has to deal with every single day. And obviously I'm not talking about us being that, but what I'm saying is what if we could try to change our thought process to be a little bit more positive, a little bit more like we can really get addicted to a thought process.

12:35Like we can get addicted to a thought process. You know, someone might not have paranoia disorder, but you know, somebody can get addicted to the thought of the world is out to get me. Now, how do they get addicted to that thought? Well, when I think something specifically, my body's going to create very specific chemicals, right? So in this case, if it's something that is very stressful, a very stressful thought, my body is going to release adrenaline and cortisol, adrenaline and cortisol, adrenaline and cortisol. And we can become addicted to the thought process because we become addicted to the chemicals that it creates.

13:09And so really what it comes down to is I could become addicted to those chemicals of adrenaline and cortisol and stress. And there was a point in my life about six years ago where I was like, man, I think I might be addicted to stress. You know, I, I, I started unraveling all these places in my life where I made things more stressful. I drank way too much caffeine because it would get me all stressed and amped up in order to do things. Right. And so it's like, I, we can get addicted to those. And I realized like, man, I might be addicted to stress. And I started unraveling that and working through it and trying to remove myself from it.

13:44So if we can get addicted to the feelings and the chemicals running through our body of adrenaline and cortisol, and when we don't have it the next day, we want it again, we can also start to shift. And it's not like an overnight thing, but it's something to be very aware of and say, okay, yeah, if I am addicted to stress, maybe I should have less coffee. Maybe I should try to set up my life to be more peaceful. Maybe I should stop hanging out with people who are just like, obviously some people trigger you and you learn from it. Some people are just toxic. Maybe I should stop being around toxic people, right?

14:13But we could also become addicted to other chemicals as well. We can become addicted to serotonin, which is a feel-good chemical and feels amazing. We can become addicted to oxytocin and actually want those to feel, and that's the feeling of love and the cuddle chemical, they call it, right? So we can start to feel what feels normal inside of our body. And for a lot of us, stress and anxiety and adrenaline and cortisol feels normal to us. And we might not want anymore, but it feels normal. And then we can go, you know what? What would feel better though is if I could start to work on myself and get the normal feeling within myself to be oxytocin, to be serotonin, to be dopamine, the feel good chemicals that I want.

14:58I don't know about you guys, but I would love to feel good more every single day. And so then you start to ask yourself, like, how do you do that? And so for me, one of the things I realized that was really making me stressed was I always was thinking about the next thing. I would wake up Basically from like the moment that I wake up I would I would just think about all of the shit that I had to do And all the stuff I wanted to be done and I would immediately go into it and I would try to meditate And when I would meditate I would just think about all of the stuff that I had to do and everything that I needed to do And all of that so I was like always on the go always trying to do something and always trying to get moving So then I was like, what is the what's the difference of that?

15:33Of like the difference of not feeling good where I am because I had to be somewhere else mentally physically all of that is I was like, I just need to be grateful for what I have. And so I've shared this on the podcast before, but one of the things that I've been doing a lot recently is I'll do my morning routine and it's not crazy. There's not 74 things that I do. I wake up, I go to the bathroom, I drink water, I do breath work, I meditate. And usually that's about it. And then some days I'll read, some days I'll journal. A lot of days what I do is I just go outside with my coffee and I just sit in silence.

16:06And I just sit and just think about all of the things that I have to be grateful for. And I just try to bring up and I start thinking about challenges I've had in my life and how I could be grateful for them in the house that I live in. And, you know, my wife and my family and the health that I have and people around me have, and, you know, the weather sometimes. And it's, it's kind of crazy. I'm going to say this, but it's kind of nuts. But there's some moments, some days where I'll just sit outside and I'll start tearing up while drinking my coffee because I'm so fucking grateful for everything that I have.

16:39Now, when I feel that good, FYI, those are the chemicals of serotonin. Those are the chemicals of oxytocin. Those feel really good. And when you feel them, guess what you want more of? Those. So then you start saying, what did I do to make myself feel that way? And how can I start doing it more? And so what I think it comes down to is how can you start to cultivate gratitude in your life? And, you know, having the steps, starting taking the first steps towards pro-noia is just the feeling of like, man, everything has worked out for my benefit. And if I really zoom out and look at my life, I can be like, holy shit, this thing is kind of perfect.

17:17How everything has fallen in place to get me to where I am. And you might not be where you want to be yet. And that's fine. But you can still be grateful for where you are. You can be grateful for the journey. You can be grateful that, you know, 150 ,000 people didn't wake up yesterday and you woke up today. That's something to be, that's the biggest thing to be grateful for. If you can't find anything, that's something huge to be grateful for. So can you find three or five things that just make you feel grateful inside of your body, inside of your mind? And can you start to shift your perspective that when you have a challenge come up in your life acknowledge that this might actually be an opportunity for you to grow and get better.

17:55This might be the universe coming to you to help you get stronger so that you can be better later on in life rather than see it as something that's a setback. You know, and so you can start to see with pro-noia just the world as a friend and not really as an enemy. You know, each challenge that we have gives us a chance where we can learn, we can grow, we can evolve, we can get better. And so if we can start to see our obstacles through that lens, it can really transform our response to whatever challenges or adversities or perceived adversities that come up to us. And so really what it is and what I want to challenge you to is, why don't you just try for today or for this week, just thinking to yourself, what if everything is perfect?

18:38It's all working out for my good. And maybe instead of being paranoid that things are going wrong, what if I just be pro-noia and just think, man, every single thing from the best thing that's ever happened to me to the worst thing that's ever happened to me is given to me for my greater good so that I can grow, evolve, and become the best version of myself. If you just shift your perspective in that way, your life will change. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, if you love this podcast, please do me a massive favor. Just share this somewhere. Share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at Rob Dial Jr., R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.

19:13The reason why is because this podcast, we don't have any huge company behind us, backing us, putting up ads, any of that type of stuff. The only way this podcast grows is from you guys sharing it. And the way that we can continue to impact more people in this world is getting more eyes on it. And that would ultimately pay it forward. and also at the same time allows to impact more people's lives. So if you would do that, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better.

19:39I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.